Issue #5: The Cult
The scene begins with Jonathan Hyada standing in the middle of a gym. He taps his foot impatiently as he looks around. Several other people occupy various equipment, but the person he is looking for is nowhere to be found. Hyada glances up at the clock hanging on the wall. The time boasts 9:25AM. By looking at this, Hyada lets out a groan of anger.
Hyada: Damn it, Haven. Where the hell are you?
Hyada aggressively walks away, and we transition over to a scene (presumably some time later) where Hyada is walking up to the Havenmobile. Hyada sternly bangs his fist in a knocking manner on the back of the U-Haul. No answer.
Hyada: Come on, Haven. Time to wake up!
Hyada bangs on the U-Haul door again. He grits his teeth and reaches down for the door handle. He tries to lift it open, but it is locked.
Hyada: Dang it!
Hyada slams his fist against the U-Haul in anger. Suddenly, Hyada hears a voice that makes him somewhat relieved, but then instantly annoyed.
???: Brother Jonathan?
Hyada turns around at the recognition of the voice, but he is taken back to see the green hero, Haven, wearing brown monk-looking robes over his normal attire. On the robe is a weird symbol that Hyada can’t quite make out.
Hyada: Where the hell have you been, you were supposed to be at the gym almost an hour ago, remember? Also, what the hell are you wearing? And why are you calling me Brother Jonathan?!
Haven looks surprised, as if he completely forgot about the gym meeting.
Haven: Oh, Brother Jonathan I apologize. I completely forgot about our meeting. But you see, I took your advice and have been preparing myself for our match, just as you suggested.
Hyada cocks an eyebrow in suspicious curiosity.
Hyada: Wait, what have you been doing to “prepare” yourself?
Haven smiles as he walks up to the U-Haul and unlocks it.
Haven: Last night after I left your apartment, I began to think seriously about what you said. The foes that we are going to face next are unlike Cerberus. So, I began to really think about them.
Haven slides open the back of the U-Haul.
Haven: Think about it, what are their names? What do they represent? They are demons.
Hyada: Uh-huh…
Haven: Well, the only way to combat demons is through spiritual warfare. So, I found the closest church on the way home and became a member. This upcoming battle is much more about the soul than it is the body. So, while I apologize for not meeting you at the gym, I feel where my time was spent elsewhere was much more valuable.
Hyada doesn’t know what to say. It doesn’t exactly seem like a bad idea, but he is skeptical. Meanwhile, Haven digs through a bag in his U-Haul.
Hyada: Okay…. So, where is this church of yours? Is it Christian?
Haven: Oh no, Brother Jonathan. It was newly constructed a week ago.
Hyada raises an eyebrow once again.
Hyada: Tell me, what is this symbol on your robes. It looks familiar, but I can’t quite pinpoint it. Also, quit calling me Brother Jonathan.
Haven smiles as he pockets an item from his bag and then proceeds to close his U-Haul and lock it up. Haven then responds in a creepy tone.
Haven: Come with me Brother Jonathan and I will show you.
Haven extends out a hand. Hyada responds by pointing at Haven’s face.
Hyada: Call me Brother Jonathan one more time and I’ll break your hand. But, okay, I’ll come to see where you are getting “spiritually” connected.
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The scene switches to Haven and Hyada entering into a large gothic looking church made of stone. The inside is dark and musty. Hyada feels a bit creeped out, but he follows Haven none-the-less.
Hyada: So, really, what exactly do they worship here?
Suddenly, Hyada begins to hear whispers coming through the walls.
left…..right….a…...b…..down...start…..left…...right…
Hyada: Um, Haven-
Before Hyada can finish they reach a set of double doors where Haven opens them up to reveal a large sanctuary filled with hundreds of people wearing the same robe. And now, Hyada finally recognizes the symbol as he looks at the front of the sanctuary and spots, on an elevated stage, a giant gold statue of the pokemon, Omastar.
Hyada: Oh...my…-
Man: May Lord Helix be with you!
A random man passes by as he exits the sanctuary.
Hyada slowly follows Haven down the aisle. He looks around and sees several of the robed men and women bowing, kneeling, and praying. All the while they are muttering and whispering different commands. On the walls are various large stain-glassed windows. One depicts a beautiful purple moth with wheels attached on its sides, another depicts a large purple rhino looking creature with sunglasses on, another shows a blue sea-turtle on a breakaway rim, another shows a yellow bird with bolts of lightning radiating from its body, and finally there is one of a robed bird ascending into the heavens.
Haven has managed to walk a little further forward than Hyada, but Hyada tries to catch up to him to speak with him. He calls after his green friend in a lowered voice.
Hyada: Haven, we have to get out of here. This place is nuts. It’s a cu-
Hyada stops speaking as a bald man approaches the two mid-aisle. He seems to hold some position of authority as his robes are gilded.
Bald Man: Brother Haven, may Lord Helix bless you. I see that you have brought a new member?
Haven: Yes Brother Bald Man, this is my tag team partner I told you about. We both are going to face demonic forces very soon, but I feel with Lord Helix’s strength we can find victory.
Bald Man: Excellent! There is no doubt that these demonic forces are vessels of the Dome, and aided by the false prophet, Flareon.
Haven nods with great respect.
Haven: Yes, of course.
Hyada almost cracks a smile over the nuttiness.
Hyada: Yeah….
Bald Man: So, Brother…?
Haven: Jonathan.
Hyada shoots Haven an annoyed look.
Bald Man: Shall we get you your robes and have you baptized under HM03 “Surf”?
Hyada grabs the back of his head as he awkwardly responds.
Hyada: Uh, haha, yeah....., I’m not looking really to join per-say.
Bald Man: Oh, and why not?
Hyada: Well, this place is kind of nutty.
Haven and the Bald Man both look offended. Haven leans in to speak an aside to Hyada.
Haven: What are you doing! You are embarrassing me in front of my bald mentor!
Bald Man: Nutty?!
Hyada: I mean, you guys are worshiping a bunch of pokemon.
The Bald Man grabs the Helix Symbol on his robe as he scoffs at Hyada.
Bald Man: This non-believer is not welcome here! Guards!?
Hyada: Fine, we don’t want to stay here anyways. Come on, Haven.
Haven doesn’t budge.
Hyada: Haven?
The Bald Man walks over to Haven and puts his hand on his shoulder firmly.
Bald Man: Brother Haven has chosen Lord Helix’s blessing. He will be staying with us. Please, escort Jonathan out of our sanctuary.
Suddenly, two buff men in black ropes appear behind Hyada. They grab him and begin dragging him up the aisle. Hyada tries to resist, but he is more worried about calling back after Haven.
Hyada: Haven! You are brainwashed! Don’t let them do this to me! Don’t do this to us!
Haven almost seems to snap out of a trance, but the Bald Man turns Haven to face him.
Bald Man: Come now, Brother Haven. I sense your spirit is weak from this emotional episode. Let us go where we all go when we feel our faith is waning. Let us go to the rejuvenation hall and stare at the stain-glassed memes.
Hyada: Haven!
Hyada is screaming after his buddy as he is being tossed out of the church. The doors slam shut behind him. Hyada immediately tries to re-enter the church, but the doors won’t budge. He slams his fists against them.
Hyada: No!
???: Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst.
Hyada looks down at the bottom of the stone staircase that sits in-front of the church. There is a man in a black trench coat with a pair of shades on. Hyada looks around at the relatively empty street and sidewalk, and then walks down to the man.
Hyada: Yes?
???: Hey kid, wanna try a slowpoke tail, I mean, wanna know a way to save your friend?
Hyada: You know a way in?!
???: Yeah, yeah I do. Every night they have underground Pokemon battles in the basement of the church. There is an entrance around back. The winner gets a meeting with the leader, Brother Bald Man.
Hyada: That’s just the opportunity I need. Thanks!
Hyada begins to walk away, but the coated man stops him.
???: Hey wait, you’ll need a pokemon to enter!
Hyada: What? Like the game?
???: No kid, like this.
The mysterious man pulls out a squirrel from inside his coat. The squirrel has two large googly eyes pasted on his face, but he is still alive and squirming.
Hyada: Um, that is literally a squirrel with glued-on googly eyes.
???: 25 bucks and he is yours.
Hyada: I’ll pass.
Hyada walks away once again.
???: Wait! How will you compete?!
The camera gets a close-up on the serious face of Hyada.
Hyada: With my fists.
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We cut to a scene of Hyada walking up to a bouncer in-front of a door. The bouncer has his arms crossed in a tough-guy pose.
Bouncer: Pokemon trainers only.
Hyada slings back his fist and knocks the bouncer out cold. He then enters the underground basement. He makes it down a set of stairs and then finds himself in a dark vacant large open area. A single light sways from the ceiling and illuminates a circle in the middle of the basement. Hyada seems confused, but he steps into the light with confidence.
???: Heh, heh, heh.
The trench-coat man steps forward and stands on the fringe of light and darkness.
Hyada: What is this?
???: You fell right into our trap. We don’t take too kindly to those that are against our Lord Helix.
Hyada: You lied to me!
???: No, I didn’t.
Suddenly, several other men in Helix robes step forward around the circle of light.
???: This really is a place for pokemon battles, and the winner really does gain access to the church, but we thought we would warm up our pokemon on you before starting the night. Get’em boys!
Hyada gets into a crouching stance. With a determined look upon his face, some epic battle music begins to play in the background.
Hyada: Bring it!
We switch to a montage where Hyada beats down various eccentric animals. We see him slam his knee into a duck with an afro. Meanwhile, we cut to a quiet shot of the robed Haven lighting a candle in front of a painting that depicts a winking duck holding a stick. We switch back and see Hyada clotheslining a bedazzled dog. We then switch to a shot of Haven stepping up to a pillar and gently picking up a glowing key. He kisses it and then puts it back down. Back to Hyada and we see him curb stomping a flailing catfish. Once more back to Haven and we see him in a room with a few other robed men. A black and white image of Misty, the Cerulean Gym Leader, appears on a projector screen on the wall, and everyone in the room begins screaming cries of hate. Finally, we switch back to Hyada for good and see how he uppercuts an alligator that’s wearing stunner shades.
Finally, the music ends and Hyada is left standing in victory. The room becomes illuminated and he makes a mad dash to a staircase and door that presumably leads into the church. Hyada busts through it and is relieved to find out it does. He begins kicking open doors to search for Haven. He finally gets an answer as he kicks open one and enters into the room of stained-glass memes. Haven is in there with a few others staring at the walls.
Hyada: Haven!
Haven looks over at Hyada with an elated look.
Bald Man: STOP!
The Bald Man bursts through the doorway that Hyada just came through.
Bald Man: Enough of this mischief! I want all of you in this room to remove this disturber of peace by force!
The ones in the room hesitate for a moment, but then begin to move towards Hyada.
Haven: NO!
Everyone stops and the Bald Man is taken back.
Bald Man: Brother Haven, what do you mean by “no”?
Haven: I mean, “no”.
Haven pulls off his robes and throws them to the floor.
Hyada sports a big grin over the fact that his teammate is no longer brainwashed. He walks over to his partner to give him a handshake.
Hyada: Buddy!
Haven: Sidekick!
Hyada snaps into a serious tone.
Hyada: Don’t push it.
The two share a clasping of fists as the Bald Man exclaims.
Bald Man: What is the meaning of this heresy!?
Hyada stands next to Haven as the green hero addresses the Helix Priest.
Haven: Look, when I first came here I thought all this stuff was interesting and fun. I mean, the story of when ATV slayed the goliath Dragonite was awesome! But, I don’t think all of this interesting stuff is worth putting prolonged faith into. I mean, we have to come here and stare at all these stain-glassed memes just to remind us how much we care about it.
Haven looks at Hyada.
Haven: Now, friendship is something to put faith into.
Haven smiles at Hyada, who sports his own half-smirk.
Haven: Hyada cares about me enough to not let me get sucked in here. And our friendship is still young! So, I have faith that our bond will only grow as we continue on as a team. He has had my back since before we were a team, and-
Hyada: I’ll have it when we face the Demon Foreigners. Just like I know you will have mine. Just like I know we will have each others no matter what we face in the future.
Hyada pats Haven on the shoulder, but then squeezes it as he grits his teeth.
Hyada: But next time just come to the damn gym!
Haven: Uh Hyada, you are hurting me!
Hyada releases his grip with a smile.
Hyada: Come on, let’s get out of here.
Hyada pats Haven on the arm and two walk away side-by-side.
Bald Man: Fine! Leave! We don’t need you here!
As Young Justice passes by the Bald Man, the rest of the people in the room take off their robes and head for the exit.
Bald Man: Wait, no! Don’t leave!
We switch to an aerial view where we see tons of people flooding out of the church as Haven and Hyada lead a mass exodus. We hear from within the church.
Bald Man: Don’t leave now, we still have Gen 2! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The scene goes black.