Jason Armstrong sits at the computer in his small apartment. Its an old apartment, but its not in terrible condition. Trash litters the floor and dirty clothes are piled up on an old couch. Its obvious Armstrong hasnt taken much care of his place over the past several days. He blankly stares at the computer screen. He is trying to send an email to Chelsea, but he doesnt seem to know what to say to her. He already has several sentences typed and is staring at a blinking cursor while trying to think of what to write next. The email thus far reads:
Chelsea,
Im so sorry. I let you down again. I cant bring myself to call you because I dont want to hear the disappointment in your voice. I know I let you and Jeremy down by not winning the Mayhem Title. I let myself down. I just want to show you that I am still the person you fell in love with. I miss you so much.
Armstrong continues to stare at the screen. He highlights everything hes typed so far and hits delete. He types a new, much shorter, email.
Chelsea,
Im sorry. I did my best, and I failed. Im so sorry.
Jason
He hits send and the email goes to his wife. Armstrong leans forward and rests his head in his hands. The loss in the Mayhem Title match is really getting to him. He knows it was a surefire way to prove to his wife and son that he has changed and that he wants them back. Its a crushing feeling to know that he has let his ex-wife and son down yet again. He looks down to the corner of his computer screen and sees that its 6:28 p.m., and that he has about a half-hour to get to the weekly Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
He leaves his apartment and begins the walk to his meeting. He passes by a liquor store, and he stops and stares through the window. Armstrong feels the urge to enter the store and buy a bottle of alcohol. He remembers feeling hopeless, much like he feels right now, and alcohol eased his pain ever so slightly. Armstrong quickly walks away from the store and continues onto his meeting.
The meeting is already underway as Armstrong enters the room. There are about 10 people at the meeting, with slightly more men than women. A woman is finishing telling an emotional story about how drinking has ruined her life as the other people give her encouraging words. Armstrong sits next to a man who appears to be in his late-20s, and the
man looks surprised to see Armstrong. The woman finishes her story, and the moderator calls on Armstrong to speak. He seems startled to get called on despite just arriving.
Hi, my name is Jason. Ive been coming to these meetings for a while now. I used to drink
all the time. I used to turn to drinking when I had nothing else to turn to. It was there for me to help me feel numb to the world around me. At the time, feeling numb was better than whatever I was feeling at the time.
Armstrong thinks for a minute before continuing.
Disappointment. Resentment. Thats what I was feeling. Disappointment in not making it to the Olympics after working my entire life for it. Resentment toward myself for being such a failure. And by drinking, I was numb to those feelings.
For far too long I blamed other people for my problems. I blamed my friends. I blamed my family. I blamed my wife. I mean ex-wife. I blamed everyone but myself for my problems. It drove my friends and family away from me. It caused my wife to divorce me. I was a miserable wreck, but alcohol was there when I felt no one else was.
I eventually took responsibility for my actions. I knew nobody could help me other than myself. So I went to rehab. I got cleaned up. And this week, I celebrated six months of being sober.
The small group claps for Armstrongs achievement. Armstrong talks right over them.
But today I wanted a drink. I almost walked into a liquor store and bought a drink. I felt like I had let my family down again, and I felt the same disappointment and resentment I used to feel. I was disappointed I failed to win the Mayhem Title last week. I resented the fact that I keep letting my family down. I didnt enter that store because I knew what would happen to me. I know that its up to me to make things better, much like I have been doing.
Its a fantastic feeling knowing that I have the ability to walk away from alcohol when I feel like I need it the most. I feel like its lost its power over me. I feel like I no longer need it and that I can accomplish everything on my own.
Armstrong seems to be filled with a new hope as he continues to talk.
Its a long road and windy road to redemption, and I just reached my first fork in that road. I decided to continue to take the high road, and its a great feeling. I know my life isnt back in order just yet, but if I keep making the same decisions that I made today, I know everything will work out. I just have to keep my head up and keep on going. Im going to make mistakes; I realize that. But what makes a man is how he reacts to adversity. I promise that Ill overcome it, and that I will keep on the path Im on. Its the only chance I have to redeem myself for all my past sins and to get my family back. Its the only chance I have to be a success in this life.
Armstrong finally stops, and he smiles as the other members of the group congratulate him on speaking his mind. Armstrong feels as if the weight of the world is off his shoulders. He knows that if he is strong enough to turn down the urge to drink, then he is strong enough to overcome any adversity. The moderator dismisses the group for a break. Armstrong steps outside to get a breath of fresh air, and he hears a call from behind.
Jason! Jason! Wait up!
Its the man Armstrong was sitting next to during the meeting. He jogs to catch up with Armstrong before speaking.
I knew I recognized you! Jason Armstrong! From WZCW!
Armstrong nods his head. He usually doesnt like talking to people, but hes in a good mood right now.
Its so great to meet you! Im a huge wrestling fan. I never thought Id get the chance to meet a wrestler. Not that this is the situation Id want to meet one in. But still, its really cool.
He shakes Armstrongs hand.
Its nice to meet you too, ummm
Chad. My names Chad.
Its nice to meet you Chad. Im not sure what youre going through, but I know why youre here. You need help from alcoholism. Youve made the first step coming here, and I hope everything works out for you.
Chad smiles at Armstrongs words.
Thanks Jason. That means a lot to me. Its a good thing you had that little revelation in there and that you seemed to have gained confidence. Youre going to need it on this weeks Aftershock, huh? You nervous?
Armstrong shoots him a confused look.
You havent heard? They dont do a very good job of keeping you in the loop do they? Youre in a match against Phoenix and Ace Stevens. The winner is the No. 1 contender to Mayhem Title and goes on to Kingdom Come to face the champion.
Armstrong is in disbelief at what his new friend told him.
Wow. I just
cant believe it. I never thought Id get the chance to wrestle on Kingdom Come this early in my career, much less get another chance at the Mayhem Title. This has just been my lucky day, hasnt it? Im going to make the most of this opportunity. Last week, I failed to win the Mayhem Title, but I wasnt involved in the decision. Ive been given the second chance Ive been asking for, except instead of Chelsea, its for the Mayhem Title. And just like earning my way back to proving to Chelsea that I still love her and we should still be together, Im going to have to earn another shot at the Mayhem Title and prove I am worthy of holding the belt.
Its not going to be easy, though. Im going against two great wrestlers. Ace Stevens is no joke.
Chad groans at Armstrongs joke, even though Armstrong wasnt intending one.
He is a former Mayhem Champion, so he knows what it takes to be at the top of the mountain in the division. Ace has been on a bit of a slide lately, but that only makes him more dangerous and motivated to win and recapture his belt. He knows what its like to hold the gold, and I know that he will do anything he can to get that belt back around his waist. I hate to disappoint him, but I cant allow that to happen. I need to win that belt. I need to show Chelsea that Im not a failure. There is no better way to do that than by winning the Mayhem Title at the biggest show of the year in Kingdom Come. But I cant get there without winning this match. I can promise you, Stevens wont be laughing when I have my hand raised at the end of the match.
Chad once again groans and shakes his head at Armstrongs poor choice of words.
But Ace aint the only other wrestler in the match. For the second straight Aftershock, I find myself in a triple threat match. Last week, other than the Mayhem Champion, the other wrestler was another newcomer such as myself in Joseph Greaves. This week, it couldnt be more different. Other than a former Mayhem Champion, the third wrestler in the match is a WZCW veteran; someone who has been in WZCW for as long as I can remember. Someone who has been around longer than almost everyone in Phoenix. Last year, he had a chance for the Elite X Title at Kingdom Come. He knows what its like to wrestle in big time matches at the biggest event in wrestling. He has to be hungry to get back to the Promised Land, especially coming off the losing streak hes been on as of late. He failed to qualify for the King for a Day Elimination Chamber match. At the last Meltdown, he lost to Johnny Scumm. This has to be eating Phoenix up inside. I know that Phoenix wants to get back to where he was last year at this time, and that is a in a championship match at Kingdom Come. Hes going to be disappointed when it comes the night of Kingdom Come and he sees my name as the No. 1 contender for the Mayhem Title, and not his.
Armstrong runs his fingers through his scruffy beard before he continues his train of thought.
Im going against two great opponents. Im going to be in the fight of my life, but Ive been in tough positions before. Ive overcome the odds many times in my life, and I sure as hell know I can do it at least one more time. The road to redemption is a long and windy one, and at Aftershock I face a potential roadblock. And you know what? I accept it with open arms. I realized I have no one to rely on but myself, and that its up to be to right everything that Ive done wrong. Winning at Aftershock will give me a head start on doing just that. By winning at Aftershock, I move on to Kingdom Come. Its there that I can prove to Chelsea, Jeremy and myself that I am not a failure. I am going to be a success. I cant allow my past demons to drag me down to hell. This week on Aftershock, I will exorcize those demons when my hand is raised in victory.
Armstrong puts his hand on Chads back and they walk back into the meeting. Armstrong has a newfound confidence in himself and his ability to get his life back in order. He knows this newfound confidence is just what he needed going into the biggest match of his life.