A Disciple’s PPV Review Altar

[DiscipleofWrestling]

I thought that this would be an interesting thing to put on this section of the WrestleZone Forums. I’m going to be going through my DVD binder, pulling out a random show, and posting a new PPV analysis every week or so. I have a unique grading system that I’ve included below.

*****- CLASSIC
****- GREAT
***- GOOD
**- Decent
*- Bad
No Stars= Stinks

The first show that I’m reviewing is…

No Way Out 2001

WrestleMania X-Seven is considered by many to be the best WrestleMania of all time, including myself. However, if you are to consider WrestleMania X-Seven the best, then applause needs to be given to the WWF for their build for the PPV as it was very compelling. No Way Out had always been a tough PPV to count on. Some years, it provided a very strong show to get people amped for WrestleMania. Other years, it contributed jack squat to the biggest show of the year. In 2001, many expected that Triple H and Steve Austin would headline WrestleMania. So, it became a shock when Triple H and Austin were booked in a feud-ending Three Stages of Hell match where the only thing on the line was kicking the other man’s ass. The other main event match featured Kurt Angle, who had been WWF Champion for about four months, taking on The Rock, who pronounced that Angle’s time “of being happy” was over. “Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock” was The Rock’s catchphrase for this feud. With the momentum of the WWF machine heading towards WrestleMania, all eyes were on this night as by evening’s end, the main event of WrestleMania would be set in stone.
All right. Enough talk. More analysis.

Hardcore Championship Match
Raven vs. The Big Show

Thoughts: Does anybody know why this match was happening? I really don’t. Big Show had been back for a month after returning at the Royal Rumble. He then lost a number one contender’s match against The Rock a few weeks before this match. Anyway, for an opening contest, the match did its job in getting the crowd into it. Remember, the Hardcore Championship had the 24/7 rule. So, the obligatory interference shots happen with Billy Gunn becoming Hardcore Champion for 2 minutes. Steve Blackman, Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, and others make an appearance. Raven wins the championship back only to fall victim to a Big Show chokeslam through the garbage can.

Match Rating: **. The 24/7 concept of the Hardcore title was a double-edged sword. It could help a match, or it could destroy a match. I think this was one of those times when the 24/7 gimmick hurt the match.


Intercontinental Championship/Fatal Four Way Match
Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. X-Pac vs. Chris Jericho

Thoughts: This is the story of Chris Jericho. Eddie Guerrero and X-Pac were both injured in matches against Chris Jericho. So, both were out for vengeance against Y2J. Chris Benoit was after the Intercontinental Championship he lost at the Royal Rumble that year. So, Jericho put the championship on the line against all three men in this match.

This was a very solid match between the four wrestlers involved. Any match involving Benoit, Guerrero, and Jericho together would have a very hard time disappointing me as a wrestling fan. That being said, I did not, nor do I now, get the involvement of Justin Credible into this match. I know that Paul Heyman around this time was working for WWF after the untimely demise of ECW, and there was a sudden move of ECW talent into the WWF. He had just debuted on Raw a week or so before this, but I don’t get why they had him play such a major role in the match. Despite this flaw, the match was very good and added to the PPV as a whole.

Rating: ***1/2. While the match was very solid, I thought that it would have been better if X-Pac were not involved. However, it made sense for the storyline purpose of X-Pac getting revenge on Chris Jericho. All the same, while I know WWF was half-heartedly trying to promote the X-Factor group, Justin Credible’s interference wasn’t really needed.

Stephanie McMahon vs. Trish Stratus

Thoughts: Ok, here’s the story of this match. Linda McMahon was in a private nursing home in a catatonic state after being threatened with a divorce by Vince McMahon. Stephanie and Vince used this as a means to wrestle control of the company. Enter Trish Stratus who begins being “familiar” with Vince, getting fur coats, having bubble baths, and having “rendezvous” among other things. Stephanie wants Trish to know that she is the dominant female of the company and wants to beat her up in the only way acceptable in the WWF and Jerry Springer.

I know many people are going to disagree with my opinion of this match, but for me, it is one of the greatest women’s matches I’ve ever seen. Why? The intensity of this match was off the hook. If you are looking for a technical wrestling match, you are going to be disappointed. But if you are looking for two women to claw at each other and do hair-mares, you found the Flair-Steamboat of that type of women’s match. And with the build of this match, how could you expect any other type of match? Who’s fooling who if you expect much more in this situation? Trish and Stephanie went out in the match and performed admirably despite neither having great wrestling skills during this time. The end comes when William Regal, Vince’s assistant, comes down to the ring and doesn’t know who to help. He first helps Trish, but then he changes his mind. Trish slaps Regal, and Regal treats Trish like a tube of toothpaste.

Match Rating: ***. I won’t go so far to say that it is a GREAT match, but it is definitely a remarkable encounter all things considered. This match led to a tag match the next night on Raw between Regal and Stephanie vs. Vince and Trish. It was a trick as Vince turned on Trish, had Trish covered in sewage from a mop, and declared that while Trish had been his toy, “playtime’s over!”

Three Stages of Hell
1. Regular Match
2. Street Fight
3. Steel Cage Match

Triple H vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin

Story: Triple H and Austin were feuding over the WWF Championship in late 1999 until Stone Cold gets ran over by a car driven by? Flash forward to April 2000. Stone Cold costs Triple H the WWF Championship in the main event of the Backlash PPV. Austin returns in September in search of the man who ran him down. In a rather bizarre and unremarkable twist, the WWF puts the blame on Rikishi. Rikishi can’t hold the heat. So, WWF decides to make an “accomplice,” a mastermind to the whole conspiracy. That man was… Triple H. While this part of the story was unremarkable, the main part is the feud is on. Austin dumps Triple H 30 feet in a car, Triple H and Austin trade opportunities to screw the other out of the WWF Championship, and both beat the hell out of others to get to their opponent heading into No Way Out (Austin stuns Stephanie and Triple H pedigrees J.R.).

The match did its job in ending the feud. The problem I have with the match is that it feels like it is too long at times, and it is lacking something to really put it into the classic category. This isn’t a knock on what the two accomplished in their match. It survives today in my mind as a memorable encounter between the two, and I often remember the ending which made neither wrestler look weak. But when you watch the match, you just have the feeling that the match could achieve more than it could.

Match Rating: ****. Even though the match has its flaws, it is a very fulfilling conclusion to the feud. The ending of the match was perfect as again, it made neither one look weak and gave Triple H a big victory over another big name. I wouldn’t consider the match to be among the elite matches in WWF/E history, but it is one hell of a match and a fitting end of the Triple H/Austin rivalry.

Jerry Lawler vs. Stevie Richards
* If Lawler wins, The Kat gets to strip.
** If Richards wins, The Kat joins RTC.

Match Rating- No Stars. I’m sorry. I cannot rate this damn match. It was, is, and will probably always be a black stain on this show. There was no reason why this match could not have been on Monday Night Raw, especially since every fan knew what the end result was going to be. Lawler and Richards were terrible in this match, and the only reason I would ever recommend this match to anyone is to show how to kill a show’s momentum. Up until now, the show has been great. Two days later, Lawler and Kat would be gone, and Lawler would be divorcing yet another wife in a few months. Is there a state that doesn’t have a Lawler ex? Paul Heyman came in to take over Lawler’s announcing position for the better part of 2001. The RTC would continue to operate without The Kat until eventually breaking apart in the Spring of 2001.

Triangle Tag Team Title Table Match
Edge and Christian vs. Undertaker and Kane vs. The Dudley Boyz

Well, this wasn’t a complete bust unlike the last match. Undertaker and Kane are in this match because of some organized heat by Edge and Christian to draw the Dudleyz and the Brothers of Destruction into battle with the other. The match is pretty good as all of the teams hit their signature moves. The end comes with interference from Rikishi and Haku, who officially had the world’s funniest looking afro in history. A 3D on Christian later, and The Dudleyz retain their titles. By the way, Undertaker is PO’ed. In other news, the world is round.

Match Rating: ***. While the match was good, I still wonder why Matt and Jeff Hardy were not involved in this match as they could have really used a match like this to build up to the upcoming TLC II at WrestleMania X-Seven. Undertaker and Kane didn’t really have a shot in hell of winning this match from a booking standpoint. Undertaker and Kane would beat Rikishi and Haku beyond recognition in a TV match. From there, Undertaker would go on to face Triple H in an excellent brawl at WrestleMania, and Kane would go on to be involved in a Hardcore Title Match with Raven and The Big Show. The Dudleyz and Edge and Christian would be involved in TLC II at WrestleMania with some other tag team called The Hardy Boys.

WWF Championship Match
Kurt Angle vs. The Rock

What a match. And the funny thing about all of this is Kurt Angle was only a year and a half into his WWF career. Kurt was only going to get better as the years kept going, but his title reign provided SOLID matches against the likes of Undertaker, Triple H, Austin, and this match with The Rock. The Rock and Kurt Angle had good chemistry in this match. The interference by The Big Show was sort of random. However, he was involved in the Number One Contender’s match a few weeks before. So, there was some logic in there. The ending has been a point of contention to me as I’ve always wanted to know if Angle was supposed to kick out of the Rock Bottom and didn’t. When The Rock did the second Rock Bottom in a sort of random “Let’s just get this done” sort of way, it makes one wonder. Still, it didn’t hurt the overall match.

Match Rating: ****. It’s not quite a classic match, but it was definitely a great way to end the PPV. Both wrestlers came out of it better. Angle’s title run was solid as he had several championship defenses on PPV and put him over as a great heel for the company. This match set The Rock up for his epic encounter against Stone Cold Steve Austin at WrestleMania X-Seven and would be his last WWF Championship victory until Vengeance 2002. Angle would go on to have a great feud with Chris Benoit at both WrestleMania and a forgotten classic Ultimate Submission Match at Backlash.

Show Rating: ****- This was a great PPV. As a consumer, when I shelled out the $30 for it on PPV, I felt that I got my money’s worth at the end. The only thing that keeps this PPV from achieving true legendary status is the uselessness of the whole Right to Censor vs. Right to Nudity match between Lawler and Richards. Take this match out of the equation and add the Hardy Boyz to the Table Tag Team Title feud and match, you have a serious ***** PPV contender. Even with these flaws, it is still in my top five overall PPV events in the history of WWE. It will be forever remembered as the night Triple H and Austin settled their rivalry and when The Rock-Austin rematch at WrestleMania was solidified.

 

[DiscipleofWrestling]

ECW One Night Stand 2006

Just a reminder of the rating system:

*****- CLASSIC
****- GREAT
***- GOOD
**- Decent
*- Bad
No Stars= Stinks


One year prior, the ECW promotion received what should have been its appropriate swan song. ECW One Night Stand was a PPV built on nostalgia more than trying to do anything revolutionary or groundbreaking. WWE did a good job promoting the show and seemingly gave ECW hardcore fans what they had been clamoring for.

Now, fast forward one year later. DVD sales, buzz, and the WWE’s own desire to expand lead to the emergence of a third brand. This brand would be known as ECW, an attempt to offshoot the promotion’s popularity to add to the WWE’s own success. Paul Heyman was put in charge of the ECW brand, both in reality (McMahon still had the final say, of course) and on screen. Former ECW stars were brought back to the promotion: Sandman, Sabu, Tommy Dreamer, Rob Van Dam, Stevie Richards, Al Snow, Roadkill, FBI, etc. In addition, WWE also added stars like Kurt Angle and The Big Show to the brand. WWE even put together a WWE vs. ECW Head to Head show (which I will recap later) to further promote ECW One Night Stand. While I will not go into the failure of the ECW brand, I will say that even before the PPV and brand began, there was some trepidation from longtime fans as to whether ECW could truly maintain its identity in the WWE promotion.

The PPV had several huge matches lined up. The main event was set up to be Rob Van Dam cashing in his Money in the Bank briefcase for a shot at John Cena and the WWE Championship. Given that this was in Hammerstein Ballroom at an ECW event and add to that John Cena’s “popularity” with the young male demographic, this added up to a powder keg (sorry, PG era now. Kool-Aid better?) that was sure to go off at the PPV. But one world championship wasn’t enough for an ECW PPV. Instead, Rey Mysterio was scheduled to defend his World Heavyweight Championship at One Night Stand against “The Suicidal, Homicidal, Genocidal, Death-Defying Maniac” Sabu. The storyline centered around Heyman’s attempts to lure Mysterio back into the ECW fold since Rey got his start in America with appearances in ECW. When Rey refused, Sabu made an impact and put Mysterio through a table. The Foley/Edge storyline continued into this event as well. Edge and Foley had a very entertaining hardcore match at WrestleMania 22 that year. However, one month later, Edge and Foley joined forces and on separate occasions attacked Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer. Edge and Foley went on to declare themselves the new “Hardcore Champions,” which brought out Paul Heyman. Blah blah blah. You got yourself a tag team match at One Night Stand between Foley/Edge and Dreamer/Funk.

There were other storylines, but at three paragraphs, I think it’s time to just focus on the show.

Segment #1: The camera pans over the ECW crowd as we see the ravenous crazies that populated the Hammerstein Ballroom, screaming “ECW, ECW, ECW.” Paul Heyman came out to a huge ovation (a lot larger one than he would ever get in a 15,000 seat arena). He put over the ECW brand and the fans for bringing back ECW. He promised to be, among other things, the “swinging schlong of the Extreme.” O..K. Didn’t Ron Jeremy have that gimmick? Never mind. Still, Heyman does a great job getting the crowd riled up for the show.

Match #1: Taz vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler

Taz and Lawler had a war of words on WWE TV leading up to the PPV, which led to this match between the two ex-wrestlers turned commentators. One had the decency to keep out of the ring when he couldn’t hack it; the other can’t seem to stay away from it. Read that as you will.

Taz came out to his “Survive if I Let You” theme in street clothes. Lawler comes out to the ring with his crown on and all, reveling in his hatred of the ECW fans and their hatred for him. Lawler walks over to Joey Styles and slaps him down at the announcer’s table. Lawler gets in the ring finally. Styles jumps Lawler with a sleeper hold. Lawler throws Styles off of him and goes for a piledriver. Lawler forgets that his match with Taz is already happening. Tazmission later. Lawler goes to sleep. End of match. Taz wins.
Seriously, if you blinked during all of this, you would have missed about half of the action.

Rating- *1/2. Why was this even on the PPV to begin with, I’ll never know. But the segment didn’t outlive its usefulness, which I’m glad to see. Taz had no business being in a wrestling ring as he was out of shape in every meaning of the word. Whenever Lawler is in the ring, I automatically lose interest. As of this writing, he appeared on the NXT segment where the Raw crew drove off the NXT invaders. The angle has diminished now in my personal opinion just because Lawler got involved in front of the camera. People today rip on Ric Flair for being in the ring too often. Here’s a guy, Lawler, who really ruins a product every time he gets into the ring. It always lacks originality. “Oh, look. Jerry Lawler is in the ring. Oh, boy.” Am I supposed to care? Lawler may be a wrestling legend… in Memphis…, but if you are an announcer, you need to stick to announcing. (Ok, end of rant.) The match didn’t kill the PPV by any stretch of the imagination and maintained the electricity following Heyman’s speech. So, I gave it a generous rating.

Match #2: “The Legend Killer” Randy Orton vs. “ECW’s” Kurt Angle

This match was happening because Angle broke Orton’s ankle after WrestleMania 22. If memory serves me correctly, Orton was suspended 30 days for behavioral issues in the back which necessitated this storyline injury. Orton came back 6 days prior to the PPV and RKO’d Angle. Orton claims on WWE vs. ECW that he was going to kill the legend of ECW (channeling Eric Bischoff, I guess). Kurt Angle warns Randy Orton that he’s never faced “ECW’s” Kurt Angle. There’s your match.

Randy Orton couldn’t have been hated more by the ECW crowd. Orton poses on the turnbuckle and fireworks come off the top of the Hammerstein Ballroom. Styles made some reference to fireworks going off at an ECW event. Just wait, Joey, until ECW gets video screens and crowd killing, flavor-of-the-month monsters Vince wants to push. Kurt Angle comes out to his new theme, and the announcer declares Kurt Angle thinks of ECW as his “new home.” Oh, brother. Does this make TNA his “new, new home?”

The match itself is very good and well paced. Randy Orton plays up the heel “wussy” card to all it’s worth. Kurt Angle is Kurt Angle. What you expect from a Kurt Angle match is what you got with this. Good back and forth between Angle and Orton with some technical and counter wrestling used.

Match Rating: ***.

Match #3: Tag Team Match
The F.B.I. (Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke) w/ Big Guido vs. Tajiri/Super Crazy

Tajiri is back. Awesome. I always liked Tajiri’s work. Tajiri’s kicks and Chris Benoit’s hand chops always made me cringe.

Hard-hitting match, but all the time, I’m wondering how is a team made up of a Raw star and a semi-retired wrestling star going to beat a full-time ECW group. I probably enjoyed this match a little more than some would, but I thought it was a solid tag-team match with several unique spots which for the most part seemed to flow together nicely. I would never claim it was a GREAT tag team match, but it was quite good.

Match Rating: **3/4.

After the match, Big Show comes in and completely cleans house of all of the participants.

J.B.L. comes out and tries to compare ECW fans to “Star Trek” fans using Sci-Fi Network as a base point. That’s a very weak statement to try to draw heat. Then again, all J.B.L. had to do to draw heat in that arena was show up. I was a fan of what J.B.L. did last year at the event (except legitimately bludgeoning Blue Meanie), and they should have found a way to have him continue that character at this year’s event. Having J.B.L. on the balcony in 2005 really sold the show to me as he did a great job gaining heat.

Match #4: World Heavyweight Championship
Rey Mysterio vs. Sabu

This is pretty much what you would expect out of Sabu. However, Rey Mysterio worked at a much more hardcore wrestling style than he had been doing around that time. There were several great spots: the dueling chairs, the table Seated-Senton by Mysterio, the HARD chair shot from Sabu, and the DDT through the table. I know a lot of people like to ***** about the ending of the match, but what were you expecting? This was the SECOND World Championship match for the PPV, and there was no way WWE was going to put the belt on Sabu. The ending was the best way out to save both men from losing heat. If this was a non-title match, then I would probably say the finish sucked. But it worked.

Match Rating- ***. The match wasn’t great, but it didn’t suck either.

Match #5: Extreme Rules Tag Team Match
Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk vs. Edge/ Mick Foley

Foley comes out and delivers a classic line about Stephanie McMahon being the best person to ever run ECW: “Long Live The Alliance! Long Live The Alliance!” He introduces Edge, who continues the anti-ECW tirade, calling everyone in the arena pathetic. Lita then goes on to say when she sat on Tommy Dreamer’s face, it was more action than everyone in the arena had had in the entire year. Dreamer and Funk come out with Beulah McGillicutty, who delivers her own personal line about Lita: “I never thought I’d see the day that the garbage coming out of your mouth is more disgusting than what you usually put in it.” I’m guessing Beulah and Lita have had a confrontation before, or is Beulah just disgusted by watching Lita on TV at home? The crowd is egging on Lita the entire time with “crack ****e” and “herpes” chants. The match officially becomes…

Extreme Rules Intergender Six-Person Tag Team Match
Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk/Beulah vs. Edge/ Mick Foley/Lita

Where do I begin to discuss this match? It starts off as a regular tag team match, but when Foley decides to bolt, Funk and Dreamer give chase and the fight is on! Spots include Edge getting hammered into a ladder, Terry Funk being pushed down from a ladder, Mick Foley going head first into a board of barbed wire, and Terry Funk playing an eye injury for all its worth. “My eye, Cactus. My eye!” Classic stuff. This is an example of a man who may be eons past his prime but in the right circumstances can still deliver. Foley, Edge, and Lita knock a barbed wire baseball bat into Tommy’s Dreamer and begin to triple team on Beulah until, like Gandalf in The Two Towers, Funk comes out of nowhere to save the day for his friends…with his own 2x4 wrapped in Barbed Wire! The sides are evened as Funk goes to work on Foley and Edge. Then, he goes to the corner, and THE 2X4 IS ON FIRE!!! He hits Foley with it, and the back of Foley’s shirt is on fire!!!! Foley goes out on the apron outside the ropes. Funk hits him again, and BAM! Foley smashes through the Barbed Wire board and gets doused in fire-extinguisher! ECW! ECW! ECW! Funk gets hit by Edge and goes flying into the board himself. Dreamer DDTs Edge and goes for an STF with a barbed wire strand all over Edge’s head. Lita interferes, and in classic ECW style, Beulah and Lita are going at it, and Joey Styles yells “CATFIGHT CATFIGHT CATFIGHT!” Lita gets driven into the mat by Tommy Dreamer. Tommy and Beulah celebrate in the ring, but Edge comes up from behind and uses barbed wire to slam the back of Tommy Dreamer’s head into the mat. Beulah looks at Edge and begs him not to hit her. But Edge spears Beulah and treats her like Lita with Matt Hardy injured.

Match Rating-*****. This is one of my favorite matches from 2006, and I don’t think the rating is overly generous at all. Look at the event. It’s ECW One Night Stand at the Hammerstein Ballroom. The show is supposed to be an all-out war. You have Mick Foley, Tommy Dreamer, and Terry Funk: Three of ECW’s most famous wrestling stars and the biggest hardcore wrestlers in wrestling history. Edge was no stranger to hardcore battles himself (TLC anyone?). And on top of that, you have Lita and Beulah engaging in a classic catfight on top of all the carnage that was going on. This is the personification of what people think of when they think ECW, and it’s possibly my favorite hardcore match ever.

Match #6: Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka

To be blunt, this match was thrown together at the last second for the PPV, just like the F.B.I. vs. Crazy/Tajiri match. It wasn’t a terrible outing, but it was definitely the worst actual match on the PPV. There seemed to be a bad botch when Tanaka was supposed to be caught by Mahoney, but the whole sequence came unraveled and looked terrible. The ending came with both wrestlers swinging chairs at the other, which resulted in one of the stiffest chair shots I’ve ever seen.

Match Rating: *1/2. Unlike the Taz-Lawler match, this did outlive its usefulness by actually being on the PPV. This seemed to me to be a random match to be a buffer between the six-person tag and Cena-RVD. Didn’t they have models who can haphazardly do spots in the ring for a few minutes? It works for WWE’s other PPVs.

Eugene meets The Sandman- Eugene being in an ECW ring almost makes sense. After all, this is the same company/brand where outrageous characters ran amuck. He tells the crowd a poem that he wrote about among other things “hugging Balls Mahoney.” The Sandman came through the crowd and caned the ever-loving crap out of Eugene. At one point during the caning, Joey Styles screamed “Run Forrest! Run!” And if you didn’t know already, The Sandman likes beer.

Match #7: WWE Championship
Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena

First of all, I’m going to do a small rant on the crowd reaction to John Cena. I don’t really care much for John Cena’s wrestling abilities. Nor do I really care for John Cena, the wrestling character. But for him to willingly go to work in this environment where I literally believe the sign “If Cena Wins, We Riot” was ever true, that shows me a lot about the man’s character and willingness to entertain the audience. This night made me respect John Cena. Before this, I had none for Cena, the person or the wrestler. But after this, Cena, the human being, earned my respect. He still “can’t wrestle,” but he lives up to his duties as a performer. And for that, he should be commended. I know I just committed my own death sentence by saying that, but it needed to be said.

Back to the match. Cena tries to throw his shirt out into the crowd five or six times, and each time, the crowd member spits on that shirt (or worse) and throws it back at Cena. Utter chaos to start off this match from the audience. Rob Van Dam comes over to Cena’s corner and reminds Cena just exactly who his opponent is. The match is very enjoyable, minus a botch here and there. They don’t take away from the overall quality of the match. Edge’s interference at the end helped put together a series of matches between Edge and Cena, Edge and RVD, and all three in a triple threat match. The celebration at the end of the PPV is awesome and really helped put the night into perspective. Cool moment was Bill Alfonso, RVD’s former manager, being in the ring to help celebrate RVD’s title run.

Match Rating: ****. This is one of those matches that proves my point: a crowd can make, break, or elevate a match. The match, itself, is a very good match between the two wrestlers involved. Take out the crowd involvement, and the match would be forgettable. However, the crowd’s interaction with Cena is priceless and must be seen to believe. This match would NEVER EVER happen in today’s PG era as the constant swearing would hurt children’s feelings. Excellent match due to multiple factors:

1. John Cena’s involvement despite being Public Enemy #1 in that arena. It’s too bad one can’t look into an alternate reality to see what would have happened if Vince booked Cena to win.
2. The Crowd. They helped make that match as memorable as it is.
3. Extreme Rules- Without that, I doubt the match would have been as memorable. The match was in the right place and at the right time.

PPV Rating: ****1/2. A truly great PPV which provided an excellent launch point for the ECW brand. Forget what happened after the PPV in the months ahead. That night, WWE did an excellent job entertaining the fans as well as establishing their third brand. Rob Van Dam finally won a world championship, and that, itself, gave ECW another big name to headline the show. Sabu came off looking as hardcore as ever. The bad matches weren’t terrible and didn’t destroy the credibility of the overall product (example: Lawler/Richards at No Way Out 2001).

As we all know, this version of ECW only lasted a few months in WWE, and with the backstage disaster that was ECW’s December to Dismember, Vince McMahon would continue to undercut ECW at every chance that he got. That being said, even the shadow of ECW that emerged after McMahon’s pilfering of this brand on a biannual (at least) basis was still entertaining. But it wasn’t ECW... it was Heat or Velocity or Raw Hour #3. ECW’s One Night Stand 2006 PPV might as well been as much about the creation of the ECW brand as about the farewell to a type of wrestling WWE rarely ever utilized to that same standard on the ECW on SciFi show.

Next Review: WWE Backlash 2008

 

[DiscipleofWrestling]

WWE Backlash 2008

Just a reminder of the rating system:

*****- CLASSIC
****- GREAT
***- GOOD
**- Decent
*- Bad
No Stars= Stinks

WrestleMania XXIV was one month removed, and yet, like most Backlashes before, 2008’s Backlash served as the end or continuation of many storylines featured at the premiere event. For one, the World Heavyweight Championship was the exact same match, Edge vs. Undertaker. For this rematch, the storyline was Vickie Guerrero using her power as Smackdown’s GM to make Undertaker’s life a living hell, putting him in matches in back to back weeks against the likes of Kane, Festus (Luke Gallows nowadays), and Batista. Meanwhile, Edge enjoyed the highlife with Vickie Guerrero, watching Undertaker get destroyed. The WWE Championship picture looked eerily similar to WrestleMania except for the addition of JBL to the equation and an elimination stipulation. The ECW Championship match was the same too, and people were just hoping that this match lasted more than eight seconds. (Ok, most of us were hoping it wouldn’t even be taking place, but it was put on the show nonetheless with Mike Adamle as announcer… the only guy that makes Michael Cole look credible… somewhat credible.)

The WWE also cashed in on the emotion from the Ric Flair farewell to have Batista confront Shawn Michaels. Batista blamed Shawn for taking out Ric Flair, saying he should have laid down at WrestleMania. Of course, HBK disagrees, saying he gave Flair exactly what he wanted: a classic matchup and an honest wrestling match. Matt Hardy, who cost MVP the Money in the Bank Ladder Match at WrestleMania XXIV, challenged MVP for the U.S. Championship in a storyline that had been building for almost a year between the two. And WWE also booked the battle of the giants as The Great Khali faced Super Jared from Subway… I mean, The Big Show. Throw in a 12 Diva Tag Team Match and there’s your event.
_ _ _ _
(Side Note: Watching this on DVD will be an eye-opener. The main theme song of Backlash 08 is “All Summer Long” by Kid Rock. What does that has to do with a professional wrestling PPV in the dead of spring? I’m still trying to figure that out. Plus, I’m sure the PG era would love this connection to lackadaisical sex and smoking references brought up by the song, and I’m sure parents would like their kids to learn how to live off other’s work just like Kid Rock does. If this isn’t the biggest rip on “Sweet Home Alabama” that ever existed, I don’t know what is. I wonder if he asked the two or three remaining members of the original Lynyrd Skynyrd still with that glorified cover band for permission or not. And you know what the sad thing is? If you begin to listen to the song long enough, you begin to like it. Insidious.)

The opening video and fireworks start off the show. To quote The Hurricane, Holy Mick Foley!!!! This was the first event of Mick Foley as a color commentator, and this role would actually spell the end for Mick’s tenure in WWE as having a billionaire yell obscenities in his ear wasn’t what he wanted to do with his career. (However, his curtain call with WWE on Smackdown with Edge before SummerSlam 2008 was classic and genius. But that’s another discussion for another day.) Foley’s first comment says something along the lines of: “Do you hear that noise? It’s thousands of people realizing that I’m not the Coach!” Jonathan Coachman now works as an anchorperson on ESPN (and does a pretty good job at it as well, in my honest opinion). Ok, let’s get this show on the road.

United States Championship
Matt Hardy vs. MVP (Champion)
(or “Don’t Call Me Jeff” vs. “Raw Killed My Career Victim 9”)

A solid opener. I remember watching it for the first time in May or June 2008 when this DVD first came out. This match was great back then because there had been all of this storyline build over the course of a year (from around The Great American Bash 2007 at least). It still holds up in my eyes as there is solid back and forth action between the two. Matt Hardy’s win would give him about 3 months as U.S. Champion before losing in a damn good match against Shelton Benjamin at The Great American Bash. MVP would really flounder after this, and he never has recovered that same momentum he had as U.S. Champion for 10 months.

Match rating: ***.

Matt Hardy is better than MVP, according to Matt Hardy. And holy crap, that’s Eve Torres holding the mic for the interview. Wow, to think, she goes from eye candy holding a mic to eye candy holding a title.

The Rematch of the Quickest WrestleMania Match Ever
ECW Championship Match
Kane (champion) vs. Chavo Guerrero (with Bam Neely)

Anybody remember Bam Neely? He accompanied Chavo to the ring and was supposed to be his friend/bodyguard. Chavo and Bam were both part of La Familia on Smackdown, despite being members of ECW. Credit THAT to WWE’s strict enforcement of the brand split.

Decent match between the two. It was still a train wreck for several reasons. One, Chavo Guerrero will never be accepted as a credible “world champion,” or a “brand” champion like the ECW Championship was. The well has dried up on that, and yet, the La Familia storyline haphazardly threw the ECW Championship on Chavo after CM Punk had a damn good reign as champion at the end of 2007. Second, who is honestly going to buy Chavo beating Kane after WrestleMania? No one. If the WWE made the match a handicap match or a multi-person match featuring another wrestler, I could buy that. The ending was never in doubt in this match, and I think that hurts it. Kane was just a lot more credible in every way than Chavo at this stage.

Match Rating: *1/2. Horrible commentary also damages this match. It is a Mike Adamle match with “The” Tazz. Where’s Glacier, Ice, Gemini, or Nitro? Wait, wrong show.

The Battle of the Slow Motion Giants
Big Show vs. The Great Khali

Admit it. The sight of Big Show and The Great Khali staring at one another is pretty cool. The crowd chants “You Can’t Wrestle” at Khali… or was Cena up in the stands? This is like watching King Kong vs. Godzilla or The Iron Sheik vs. Mae Young. That’d be a match that would sell out WrestleMania. Holy crap. The Crippler Crossface from Khali to Big Show. Speaking of the Crossface, it’s pretty ironic that I’m watching this on Father’s Day considering Benoit will never be confused with Father of the Year 2007. A nerve hold from Khali now! Khali chop! Replay shows the chop looking a lot weaker than it did in fast motion. Big Show bodyslammed Khali! Khali grabs Big Show for a Khali Bomb! Big Show lands the chokeslam. It’s over. BIG SHOW! BIG SHOW! BIG SHOW! Good God Almighty, The Big Show has slain The Great Khali.

Match Rating: **. Ok. After all of that, why did I give it such a low rating? One, The Great Khali is in it. Therefore, the ability for this match to suck goes up. Secondly, the wrong announcers calling this match (Foley and Cole) do nothing to make me excited for this match. J.R. and The King would have made this watchable. If I had a time machine, I’d bring back Monsoon and Heenan from the old WWF for this match alone. Third, the action was bowling shoe ugly. However, I do admit that the sight of seeing Khali and Big Show face off, and Big Show face off against the man WWE really used to substitute for him during his sabbatical was pretty cool. So, this rating is admittedly generous despite being low.

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista
Chris Jericho Is Guest Referee

Chris Jericho is not wrestling. While one might say “What the hell,” remember Jericho would turn heel in June after WWE One Night Stand 2008. So, this is merely Jericho playing his part, biding his character’s time until the inevitable and excellently performed heel turn and run. Shawn is working the match like a technical wrestler while Batista is working as a ballerina… I mean powerhouse. WHAT THE HELL?! ANOTHER CROSSFACE! I know WWE was attempting to exorcise the crossface from the stink that was the toothless wonder, but still, this is too much. Good back and forth match so far. Then again, Shawn Michaels is in it. So, you know there’s a 90% chance the match is going to be good. To his defense, Batista is doing a very good job in this match. Shawn feigns a knee injury after trying to escape a Batista Bomb. Batista lowers his guard, and Shawn Michaels knocks Batista into last week with some old-fashioned Sweet Chin Music.

Match Rating: ***. Very good match. This match would later lead to a Stretcher Match at One Night Stand 2008 after Batista realizes Shawn Michaels lied to him about the knee injury. Guess who went over in that match?

Triple H tells Orton: “Pride comes before a fall.” Or in Daniel Bryan’s case, “a neck tie and phlegm will find you unemployed.”

A 12 DIVA TAG TEAM MATCH

Team Phoenix (Beth Phoenix, Jillian, Victoria, Natalya, Layla, Melina) vs. Team James (Mickie James, Michelle McCool, Ashley, Maria, Cherry, and Kelly Kelly)

Only five of these divas have been released in the last two years. That’s pretty impressive considering the turnover of most women in wrestling, especially in WWE. By the way, Victoria is freaking hot in this match. The near PG era of this time has really neutered Lawler. Just random wrestling happening. Nothing has any heat at all here. Diva pandemonium ensues. God Ashley can’t wrestle. BOTCHED hurricanrana. Widow’s Peak is one of the best women’s finishers in wrestling history, bar NONE! God, could you imagine if Big Show used that move? Damn! Fisherwoman Suplex by Phoenix ends it.

Match Rating- *. Waste of time really. The ending was alright, but as I said earlier, the problem with these Divas matches is that there is no heat to them, especially in these mixed brand Divas matches.

World Heavyweight Championship
Edge vs. Undertaker (champion)

Undertaker and Edge have two of the coolest entrances in wrestling today. Undertaker’s is immortal. I don’t think there will ever a wrestling entrance that unique again. Undertaker is also a man of few words. When he does say something, it deserves to be noted, as the announcers do here when Undertaker says the following to Edge across the ring (off-mic): I’m going to hurt you. Did Edge get to Michelle McCool now? That Edge. First, he screws your girlfriend. Then, he screws your whole family. Of course, the reason Undertaker said this on screen was to promote the fact that Edge was going to pay for Undertaker’s treatment since WrestleMania.

I loved the series of matches between these two from WrestleMania to SummerSlam 2008. Even the worst match, Judgment Day 2008, was pretty entertaining. If you saw WrestleMania, you have an idea of how this one is going: Edge uses his quickness and guile, while Undertaker uses his strength and strike maneuvers. The “Hell’s Gate” maneuver really added something to Undertaker during this time as it added another layer of fear for his opponents. At this time, “Hell’s Gate” was a surefire loss for any opponent once it was locked in. I like how Undertaker’s moveset has evolved over the years, but it still holds parts of classic DeadMan in it. Has Undertaker ever hit an elbow drop either from the top rope or just on the mat? Match continues. Edge and Undertaker trade counters until Edge nails an almost forgotten maneuver: the side Russian leg sweep! Chokeslam on Edge from the top rope, but the foot is on the ropes. Interference from La Familia. Edge counters the Last Ride into a rollup. BUT Undertaker locks in… THE HELL’S GATE! Edge taps out. Undertaker won’t let go though. Vickie Guerrero is being wheeled down by Teddy Long, which is just wrong on so many levels. I always hated that storyline. Undertaker finally releases the move, and Edge has this red liquid substance around his mouth. Is that… Kool-Aid? Oh, yeah! Good thing Gangrel isn’t still with the company. The EMTs put Edge on a stretcher, while Vickie Guerrero looks on.

Match Rating: ***1/2. Very entertaining match. However, it wasn’t their best match or better than WrestleMania XXIV. This series of matches would have a great TLC match at One Night Stand 2008, and then, it would culminate in a great Hell in a Cell match at SummerSlam.

Randy Orton is trying to get in to see JBL. CM Punk reminds Orton that he’s got Money in the Bank without a word. Then he says “Good luck out there tonight.” Let Straight-Edge into your heart, Orton. John Cena is the vote winner in a viewer poll on who would win with 48%, with Triple H having 36% of the vote, Orton 12%, and JBL 4%.

WWE Championship
Fatal Four Way Elimination Match
Triple H vs. JBL vs. John Cena vs. Randy Orton

I have to admit that I have a little bit of bias in this match as I really do like Fatal 4 Way matches. I don’t know why. I just like them infinitesimally better than Triple Threat Matches. This elimination match has its advantages and disadvantages. The advantage is whomever wins will likely get a good rub from surviving the match. The disadvantage is the pace better be damn good, or it could turn into a train wreck. Case in point: WrestleMania 2000’s Main Event. Same type of match, but it just didn’t flow very well at all. Then again, most of the stuff on that card didn’t flow well.

Fast forward eight years. Orton bails out of the ring after not being able to count on JBL as an ally. I guess self-made billionaires and vipers don’t get along. Would a viper get along with a drunken protection agent… or a servant of the Ministry of Darkness… or a Blackjack wannabe… or… never mind. Bradshaw’s had more gimmick changes than Cher has wigs, but no one cares about that in 2008. This match is already out of control with action going on inside and out of the ring. Cena and Orton working in the ring looks weird as Orton’s stock has gone up big time after becoming the Viper. Funny segment happens with Orton in the STFU and JBL mocking Orton. Triple H puts JBL in the CROSSFACE!!!, Orton escapes the STFU, and Orton begins to mock JBL. (Enough of the Chris Benoit crossfaces tonight! Who told everyone to go out and do the damn Crippler Crossface on this show?!)

Cena goes on a tear. JBL taps out to STFU. ORTON PUNTS CENA. Cena is eliminated. JBL and Cena are literally eliminated within ten seconds of the other. Pretty shocking. Did Superman just meet kryptonite?

Triple H and Orton are left alone now. This could either rock or suck. Triple H knocks the steel steps over after Orton whips him into them. The catapult into the crowd by Orton to Triple H. The catapault is THE most horrendous looking maneuver in wrestling. It makes the audience really have to suspend reality. Whenever a wrestler is able to outsmart this move, it helps the match in my opinion. Suplex by Orton on Triple H from outside the security wall onto the pad outside the ring. Randy Orton is stomping Triple H like Ronnie Garvin… only people actually give a damn about Orton. In the old days, a sleeper hold and body scissors would have been considered practical and useful for a match. Today, those moves automatically bring about a “BORING” chant and/or kill a crowd. Case in point happens in this match. Sleeper hold completely silences the crowd for a couple minutes. Triple H throws Orton off of an attempted RKO attempt in a cool looking spot. (Ironically, Triple H would do this same move to Orton at the One Night Stand PPV two months later over the top rope, and Orton would break his collarbone upon impact on the floor.) Orton tries to piledrive Triple H on the steel steps outside, but Orton hits his head on them when Triple H pulls out his legs. More counters going on inside the ring until Orton nails the RKO. Triple H kicks out. Orton is up, standing over Triple H’s prone body. He backs up, he lines up like a deep field punter, and Lucy pulls the ball from Charlie Brown’s punt attempt. Orton turns around, Triple H and Orton trade reversals of main maneuvers, and then, Triple H nails a pedigree. Triple H wins. On the “bad match, good match” scoreboard between these two, the lonely few on the “good match” side just got a new bunkmate.

Match Rating: ***1/2. This was a very good match for the championship. John Cena’s elimination still shocks me to this day as you would figure he’d be one of the final two left. However, Triple H and Orton did a very good job with the remaining twenty some minutes of the match. JBL’s involvement in this match was small and looking back completely unnecessary. The only thing it really did was allow Orton the opportunity to punt Cena into last week. Triple H and Orton have had some terrible matches between them. I’m glad to say this is one of the rare Orton-Triple H matches that really works.

PPV Rating: ***. The main eventers came out and saved this PPV in my personal opinion. This includes Shawn Michaels and Batista, who could main event a PPV on a whim. MVP and Matt Hardy had a solid opening contest. The ECW Championship, Big Show/Khali, and Diva Tag Matches were throwaways. However, the company did a great job keeping those matches short and sweet. I enjoyed the HBK/Batista match as it did a good job telling its story of Shawn Michaels being willing to do anything to win a match. It also helped set up a very good Jericho/HBK match at Judgment Day 08 and its subsequent brilliance of a feud. Edge and Undertaker was a very solid contest which allowed the feud to take another twist in its road. The Fatal 4 Way was, again, a solid championship match to end the show. All four men would continue to feud with one another throughout the next couple months. Triple H vs. Orton headlined Raw’s portion of the PPVs, while Cena and JBL would have a mid-card feud (which actually opened Judgment Day 2008 in an odd case of booking). Overall, this PPV is recommended.

I docked this PPV a 1/2 point in the rating system for the absolute ****ing of the Crippler Crossface. It was over the top how they were using that maneuver on this show. It's ok to bring the move out once a night, but it just seemed so coerced and planned. It's as if Triple H or Vince McMahon told the "boys" in the back: "Tonight, everybody is to use the Crippler Crossface in your match tonight." Enough already. Benoit's dead. We get it. Can we please move on? The Crippler Crossface was used to end matches. It's not supposed to be used in the same vein of a headlock or irish whip.

Next Time: Good Lord and Moderators willing, I will be back on here reviewing one of the following DVDs from the TNA Cross the Line Vol. 3 set: Turning Point 2009, Final Destination 2009, or Against All Odds 2010. I have not seen any of them before. Of course, unlike Scott Hall’s drinking habits, this is subject to change.

 

[DiscipleofWrestling]

TNA Against All Odds 2010

*****- CLASSIC
****- GREAT
***- GOOD
**- Decent
*- Bad
No Stars= Stinks

If anyone wanted to see what a dramatic change a year could make in a promotion, this is the promotion to use as an example. With the addition of the Hulk Hogan/Eric Bischoff regime, Total Nonstop Action had morphed into a completely different company. The six-sided ring was no more, replaced with a standard four-sided ring. The entrance ramps which once separated heels from faces were gone as well, replaced with a single entrance area for all performers. The changes were not as superficial as just a change in ring shape. Many familiar faces from that other company came in and were given roster spots. The likes of Orlando Jordan, The Nasty Boys, Sean Morley, and Mr. Anderson were introduced. In addition, TNA courted high-profile talent like Rob Van Dam and Jeff Hardy to join their company. And despite being retired for at least the sixth time in his career, Ric Flair made the decision to “cross the line.” Ric Flair came in like a tornado in TNA, instantly grabbing attention and aligning himself with A.J. Styles.

A.J. Styles and Ric Flair formed this relationship at the last TNA PPV, Genesis. Styles went from the babyface who everyone respected to the heel who worshipped the ground Ric Flair stood on. Flair and Styles used their money and pull to escape Kurt Angle’s rematch, and as such, the duo thought they would have no challenger. Enter “The Samoan Submission Machine” Samoa Joe who had earned a World Title shot at Final Resolution’s Feast or Fired Match at anytime he wished. Joe interrupted Flair and Styles’ beatdown of The Pope after Pope pinned Styles in a non-title match. Joe proclaimed that Styles had lost his way, and he was sick of seeing Styles kiss the ass of every new person that came through the door. Joe then called Styles “an unrepentant scumbag.” He even went as far to call Flair Styles’ “new sugar daddy.” Joe promised to make a man out of Styles by cashing in his world title shot at Against All Odds, and he told Styles that he should be up all night sweating what Joe was going to do to him at the PPV.

The other major storyline was the 8 Card Stud Tournament to determine the #1 Contender for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. Whomever won the tournament would be given the title shot at TNA’s Lockdown PPV in April. The participants each earned their spot in the tournament via matches on Impact… except for Mick Foley and Abyss. They were placed in the 8 Card Stud Tournament against one another with the intention that Abyss and Foley would have to hurt one another, or Abyss would lose the mask. The other matches were “randomly” chosen. That’s a bigger joke than WWE doing Viewer’s Choice, but I digress.

However, I’ve always enjoyed wrestling tournaments. There’s a definite risk in terms of keeping the product fresh and having talent wrestle multiple times in one night. However, tournaments often help propel talent into the upper echelon. WrestleMania IV was a good tournament by my estimation. Albeit, some of the matches were bowling shoe ugly, but the product as a whole was very well done and helped catapult Randy Savage into his year long run as WWF Champion. Removing the inevitable result (given that this PPV happened 4 months ago), the 8 Card Stud Tournament has several major talents in it that could theoretically win: Angle, Anderson, Pope, and Wolfe were viable contenders. It’s hard to see Foley and/or Abyss winning this tournament as both were involved in the tug-of-war with Bischoff. And despite their size, I don’t buy either Morgan or Hernandez winning based on the fact both held the tag team championships around this time. So, even though I know the outcome after watching the last few months of TNA Wrestling, it should be interesting to actually see how this night progressed.


For the first time ever on this review, I am reviewing a PPV I haven’t seen prior to writing this. So, this will be a raw, off-the-cuff analysis of the PPV as it plays on my Sony Blu-Ray player and my personal TitanTron. Let Against All Odds begin.
_ _ _ _
Christy is telling Ric to calm down. Ric is discussing Eric Bischoff’s involvement as special guest referee in the TNA Championship match later in the show. He is talking about how much he hates Bischoff. He states that he is a “God” three times in a row. This is an example of Ric Flair at his best at this time: cutting promos. The sad part is Ric Flair puts himself over sometimes instead of the people he is working with.

The opening video is playing. If you get the TNA Cross the Line Volume 3 DVD set, the discs start with the opening videos which you cannot fast forward past. They are promoting the 8 Card Stud Tournament for the show with each competitor discussing their claim to being the next TNA World Heavyweight Champion. Samoa Joe and A.J. Styles’ match is hyped as well. I don’t know why, but for the first time, this feud actually made me care about Samoa Joe. There was the fire in Joe that hadn’t seemingly been there for months.

The Against All Odds logo is showing, which has an appropriate Vegas-esque look to it. And… it’s in the Impact Zone. Bummer. The Impact Zone looks exactly the same as it does for an Impact taping. This kills the feel of the show for me. It makes this just feel like an expanded version of Impact!, although this is probably more economical for the company at this stage. Still, couldn’t they hire some of Lawler’s ex-wives to dress up as Las Vegas Showgirls or something? Better yet, how about some of the WWE's Diva Search women that disappeared after losing the contest? Wait, same thing.

The 8 Card Stud Tournament is underway, and the first match is…

Quarterfinals
Desmond Wolfe (w/Chelsea) vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero

I believe this is Wolfe and Pope’s third or fourth TV match at this point. I have high expectations for this match as Pope and Wolfe always seem to have very entertaining matches. I even saw them a few months ago at a live event, and the level of wrestling was very solid. Pope has money falling out of the top of the Impact Zone, which is a cool effect and helps make his character’s entrance unique.

Tenay just confirmed that this was the third match in the series. Nice counterwrestling early in the contest as Pope reverses a move by Wolfe into a sitting sleeper. It’s hard to believe Vince McMahon fired The Pope (or Elijah Burke). That just goes to show that WWE’s creative geniuses can sometimes have TNA accuracy themselves. The Pope just hit his Dusty Rhodes elbow tribute… if you will. Desmond Wolfe eventually gets control. Wolfe/McGuiness is a very solid technical wrestler, which meshes well with Pope’s more acrobatic/roughhouse wrestling technique. Wolfe just reversed a powerslam into a headlock. That’s nice work by both of them to pull that one off. Nice back and forth action now as Pope is hitting his signature maneuvers. Pope is set up for Tower of London. Pope stops that. Wolfe hits a SUPERPLEX from the top rope. Good match so far. Wolfe goes for his turnbuckle run to Pope, who reverses and hits a maneuver in the corner. Pope runs to the opposite corner and hits the DDE (D’Angelo Dinero Express) for the victory.

Match Rating: ***. Very good match to start off the PPV and sets the tone well for the rest of the show.

Good God, Ric Flair is walking into Bischoff’s office. He yells at the top of his voice: “Guess what? I’ve got a problem.” He goes on to claim that he is God again, and he tells Bischoff to go through him, Styles’s manager, for Styles’s business. Bischoff yells back. Flair retorts that Styles will win because he is managed by Flair. Bischoff promises to call it right down the middle. Right. And pigs will fly. If anyone wants to play a drinking game when they watch Impact, take a shot every time Ric Flair calls himself “a god” or puts himself over.

Interview Time: Morgan and Hernandez. They both will be facing each other next, even though they are the TNA World Tag Team Champions. Hernandez and Morgan both promise to make the most of this situation. Morgan says no one can beat them, but tonight, they will have a nice, friendly one on one match. Because that’s worked for SO many tag teams in the past…

Quarterfinals
“The Blueprint” Matt Morgan vs. “Supermex” Hernandez

One thing to remember about this tag team is that, like so many in WWE, they were put together as two already established singles stars joining forces. Granted, Hernandez hadn’t spent as much time as a singles competitor, but it is what it is. Ok, they both are in the ring. They are shaking hands at the beginning. Oh boy, this won’t be good. Shaking hands before a match begins usually leads to hard feelings afterwards. Tie up in the corner. One advantage of this new ring is it does help make the wrestlers seem larger than the old ring used to. Pretty nice back and forth action between the two. This is a pretty decent match for two big men going at it. Delayed vertical suplex by Hernandez. He held him up for almost half a minute! Amazing. Haven’t seen that much time on a suplex like that since Davey Boy Smith. Each have hit some of their signature shots early on in the match: Morgan’s top rope hangman’s move and the plancha from Hernandez. Morgan stops the ref from counting out Hernandez. Morgan opens the ropes for Hernandez only to hammerlock him and send him shoulder first into the post. 1,2, and 3. Morgan advances. Morgan tries to shake hands with Hernandez and shake off the match, but Hernandez just walks off.

Match Rating: **1/2. Not bad at all. It wasn’t as good as the opening contest, but it was a very solid match between the two big men.

A video highlighting Kurt Angle’s road to his spot in the 8 Card Stud Tournament. They review the Genesis contest and the infamous Orlando Screwjob where Styles had Angle in the anklelock and Hebner rang the bell. That was pretty dramatic and lame at the same time because didn’t someone recently return from a screwjob around that time? A simple DQ/Countout/Time limit scenario would have worked all the same. Angle telling Hogan off is hilarious after the match though.

Angle is interviewed next by Christy. He apologizes for doubting Hulk Hogan. Don’t worry. Vince McMahon did that a lot. Angle discusses his match with Mr. Anderson. God, this was a great feud. Can’t wait for this match.

Quarterfinals
Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

Unlike many in the IWC, I actually like Anderson’s work in the ring and definitely enjoy some of the schtick that he comes up with on the mic. Speaking of which, Anderson summons the mic from the skies above. The mic is shaking around, and Taz makes a joke about the mic having a mind of its own and being on Viagra. “That was intentional.”-Mr. Anderson. “Ladies and gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure, your winner of your next contest, and the one after that, and the one after that, the next—Shut up!—nope. I said shut up. MISTERRRRRRRRRRR…. ANDERSON! (climbs turnbuckle)…. ANDERSON..uh!” Kurt “Mr. Clean” Angle comes to the ring, and we’re ready to kick off the first match in the Anderson-Angle series.

Angle grounds Anderson early on, locking in a headlock on Anderson twice in the opening moments. Still can’t get over how different the Impact Zone looks and sounds after the changes Hogan and Bischoff made. They still shouldn’t have the PPV looking like that for the show though. The 10 punches from the corner mount by Angle to Anderson. Anderson whipped into the corner, Angle goes for a spear, and Angle goes shoulder first into the steel post. Angle’s getting an earful from Anderson. Anderson has the Warrior medal, and he’s engraving Angle’s face with it! Angle is wearing the “Kool-Aid” mask, for the PG advocates reading this. Stomp right to the open wound and eye! Anderson hits the DDT, and as Jake Roberts once said, the DDT is “cruel but fair.” There’s actual blood on the medal. For the record, this is the first match on the PPV with blood. Angle tries to make a comeback and succeeds. Explosive belly to belly suplex gets a two from Anderson. Angle clotheslines Anderson from the corner and gets another two. Beware French fans: The Germans are here. Rolling German suplex x 3. Angle slam reversed into an Irish whip. Anderson hits a standing Lambeau Leap (fireman’s carry/senton) but only gets a two. Anderson pulls off a turnbuckle pad behind the referee’s back. Angle fights out of the corner and hits the Angle Slam! Anderson kicks out at two. The straps come down, and Angle hits the Ankle Lock. Anderson kicks him off, Anderson sets himself up in the corner with the exposed steel turnbuckle, Angle goes head first into the turnbuckle, and Anderson hits the Mic Check for the surprise victory. Good match. Anderson gets the medal, puts it on Angle’s chest, and spits on the medal. Wow. Disrespectful doesn’t even cut it… and genius way to get cheap heat and start a feud.

Match Rating: ***. It wasn’t a great match, but it did a good job putting Anderson over as a creep and an opportunist.

Mick Foley, Abyss, and Eric Bischoff are in the office. Bischoff threatens to take Abyss’s mask off if they pull any shenanigans. He makes the match No DQ and orders one of them to use the bat wrapped in barbed wire. If it isn’t used, the mask is coming off. Take a guess where this storyline is going… Oh, brother. Literally.

Quarterfinals
No Disqualification
Abyss vs. Mick Foley

Abyss comes out with a black bag. Mick Foley comes out with the barbed wire baseball bat… or as he once affectionately called such a prop “Barbie.” USE THE BAT chants. Abyss plays the coward role and won’t use the bat. Foley slaps Abyss. Where was Foley for the last few months when Abyss really could have used a slap in the face? Outside now, and Foley takes a steel chair to Abyss’s back. My god there’s a woman in the audience at a TNA even not named Brooke Hogan or Dixie Carter. Foley charges Abyss with the bat, but Abyss kicks Foley away. Foley nails a neck-breaker. The “O-Oh Abyss” chants start, and my IQ just immediately dropped a few points. Brain cells are literally dying now. Foley charges his knee into Abyss’s face. THUMBTACKS are on the mat now. Abyss chokeslams Mick Foley away from the tacks. “Use the Bat” and “Use the Tacks” chants. Abyss gets Mr. Socko. “Use the Sock” chants start. Good god, that’s sad. Foley fights off Abyss. Foley rips off the referee’s sock in a hilarious few seconds, and we have a double Sockoclaw until Foley finally nails Abyss and gets Socko on by itself on Abyss. Foley lets go and gets the bat. Foley turns to Abyss, who BlackHole slams Foley into the tacks and gains the victory. Abyss didn’t use the bat. Abyss helps Foley up and actually takes the tacks out of Foley.

Match rating: *1/2. This is a No DQ match? Foley looked terrible in this match and really shouldn’t have been wrestling. It pains me to say that as a big Mick Foley fan, but it is the truth. Abyss is terrible in this match as well. The crowd’s chants were at once stupid and inane. I’m giving Foley a half-point here simply for ripping off the referee’s shoe and taking his sock off. It’s so insane that it actually worked and made me laugh. He looked like he was mugging the ref for a second.

The Nasty Boyz are interviewed. They are fighting Brother Ray and Brother D-Von, Team 3D. I have a suggestion: make the match a “Raiders of the Lost Ark match.” If D-Von or Saggs land near the opposite corner, a boulder by the name of Knobbs or Ray come crashing down on the opponent. That way, both of them can actually be put to use.

This feud revolves around The Nasty Boys trashing the Team 3D locker room. They are promoting their past accomplishments… The Nastys had accomplishments? They were former tag team champions, I guess. So were Rico and Charlie Haas for all that’s worth. Thanks Hulk Hogan for this torture chamber of a match coming up. This upcoming match is brought to you by Degree deodorant and a gas mask. I have a feeling this is going to stink like a stinkface by Rikishi.

Tag Team Match:
Team 3D vs. The Nasty Boys

The Nastys and Team 3D have a brief brawl until 3D tosses the Nastys outside. The Nastys are taking their good ol’ time getting into the ring. Why didn’t Bubba the Love Sponge join this group? He’s nasty on both the ears and eyes. By the way, I miss Awesome Kong. Alright, eyes are going back to work on this match. Sometimes, I feel like I’m staring at the Ark of the Covenant watching this. The arm-pit! Oh, dear god. Pitty City is blocked. Is it sad when you know that given a couple months of training you could wrestle better than one of the participants in this match? The crowd wants tables. Good thing this is a TNA event. They might… MIGHT… actually get it. Saggs and D-Von are going at it. Knobbs gets tagged in. Saggs works on D-Von out on the floor. Brooke Hogan is watching the show from the outside. You mean that’s not Jillian Hall? I don’t know why I would mistake one for the other. God, this match is terrible. Mae Young and The Iron Sheik could wrestle right now, and the entertainment level would be 100% better. Saggs tries to Irish whip Knobs into D-Von, and thankfully, D-Von moves out of the boulder’s way. Brother Ray gets the tag. Ray splashes Nastys in the corner. Ray tried to do a Rock Bottom type maneuver, but Saggs completely botched that one up. Have I mentioned that this is hard to watch? Jimmy HART! Jimmy Hart! Knobbs uses the helmet to knock out Ray and get the pin. At least one obnoxious mouth was shut up in this. I’m not going to bash Jimmy Hart because Hart was a great mouthpiece, but I’m glad this abortion is over.

Match Rating: NO STARS. This is Wrestlecrap if I ever saw it. If you want to torture your worst enemy, have them watch this match. This officially joins the ranks of Lawler-Richards as a member of the No-Stars Dunce Club of Wrestling. Moving on before my face melts like candle wax.

Joe and Bischoff are talking about the match tonight. Bischoff tells Joe that he doesn’t want to see Flair anywhere near the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. Joe tells Eric to take care of Flair, and Joe will take care of A.J. Eric reminds him to take care of his Samoan temper.

The tournament continues now, thankfully, as this PPV really needs to pick up. The tournament’s first round was pretty good, with two *** matches. Looking at this round, you have Morgan/Dinero and Abyss/Anderson. I have hopes for one match. The other, not so much.

The Match between WWE Rejects
Semifinal Match
“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. “The Blueprint” Matt Morgan

Split reaction from the crowd to start the match. Morgan begins using his power early, shoving off Pope and flexing. Pope tries to do some fast-paced action, but Morgan throws Pope over the top rope. Morgan was born to be a heel. Some guys just work that line of wrestling better than others. Some can do both, but I personally prefer and believe Morgan works better as a heel. Morgan splashes Pope in the corner and hits a sidewalk slam. Morgan choking Pope with his foot. Morgan is setting up Pope for his top-rope maneuver, which he connects with. Pope kicks out after one. A standing bear-hug executed from Morgan. Pope asks for the Congregation’s support. Pope escapes and goes to work on the knee. He went for the crossbody only to get thrown off by Morgan. The momentum from earlier this evening is gone. DDT from Pope off of Morgan’s shoulders. Pope tries to get back into the match. The Dusty Rhodes tribute is hit again… taking it to the pay window, Daddy! Maybe Pope will "wine and dine with kings and queens" by the end of this evening. Pope runs into Matt Morgan’s clothesline, but he kicks out at two. Morgan roughs up Pope in the corner. Morgan goes for a move in the corner, Pope ducks out, and hits the DDE for the win.

Match Rating: **1/2. This was a pretty good match, and it was infinitesimally better than the last “match.” I hope the crowd gets back into this PPV. After Roe v. Wade the Wrestling Match, I don’t know if it can.

Anderson is interviewed by JB. He has JB repeat that Anderson beat Angle twice before correcting him by saying he “destroyed” Angle. Anderson says he will beat Abyss and get the title shot. Anderson claims he is the man that they call Mr. Anderson…. (walks off). JB prepares to throw the show back to the announce table when Anderson comes out of the other side of the camera and continues… “ANDERSO-Haaaaa-hoN. NANANANANANA…. Be the ball.” Caddyshack reference. Classic.

Semifinal Match
Abyss vs. Mr. Anderson

I miss the old Abyss theme and personality. Not the prison inmate, not the Mick Foley wannabe, not the Hulk Hogan wannabe, and not the schitzophrenic person. The Monster Abyss. Anderson has been gold tonight so far on the mic and pretty good in the ring.

Abyss throws off a tie-up attempt by Anderson. Anderson tries to chop Abyss, who no-sells the attempt. Anderson tries a crossbody block, which Abyss no-sells as well. Anderson tries to bodyslam Abyss, who returns the favor after Anderson fails. Anderson yells at someone in the audience to shut up. Big boot by Abyss. Abyss clotheslines Anderson over the top rope. Abyss runs into Anderson’s elbow. Anderson dropkicks the knee. Anderson goes on offense now, ripping at Abyss’s mask. Anderson chop blocks Abyss’s legs. Dropkick to the exposed leg in the corner. Abyss goes on the offense, however still selling the leg injury. Abyss hits the Shock Treatment, but he only gets the two. Anderson kicks Abyss’s legs. Anderson on the middle rope, jumps into Abyss’s open hand, twists Abyss’s mask, kicks Abyss in the leg, and hits the Mic Check for the win.

Match Rating: **1/2. Unlike the Foley/Abyss match, this had a sort of psychology and realism to it. The storyline didn’t get involved into the match so much that it took away from the match.

A.J. Styles is with Christy and Ric Flair. He goes on about how good looking he is and how great he is.

The video shows hyping A.J.’s connection with Ric Flair and Joe’s subsequent challenge. Joe cuts a damn good promo explaining that he needs to bring A.J. back to reality by kicking his ass. The video shows the gang attack on Joe, and Bischoff’s announcement of being the guest referee.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match
Samoa Joe vs. “The Phenomenal” A.J. Styles (champion) (w/Ric Flair)
Eric Bischoff is the “Special Guest Referee”

Eric Bischoff is seen walking down the hallway, and Hulk Hogan interrupts him. He tells Bischoff to let his animosity towards Flair go. Hogan needs Bischoff to call it down the middle and be believable as the ref.

TNA does a great job doing these ring entrance segments in the backstage area. It helps put over the importance of a match in my personal opinion. Samoa Joe makes his way to the ring with his briefcase in tow. I really didn’t like Joe’s rap theme at first, but it’s actually grown on me over the last few months.

Flair gives A.J. his new ring attire, which is the robe with a hood on it. That’s pretty cool as it emphasizes the new changes Flair has instilled upon A.J. JB does the ring introductions.

While I’m waiting for the announcements to be over, it is important to note that Joe and Styles have been synonymous with TNA. Styles has been with TNA since its inception. Joe has been with TNA since 2005, I believe. They’ve had numerous matches between them, including some great triple threat matches with Christopher Daniels. Anyone expecting this match to suck just because Hogan and Bischoff are involved needs to have their head examined. Dirty finish or not, I’m sure they’ll make the $16 I paid for this set worth it (even more so than it already has been having watched the previous two discs).

Ok. Bischoff is already giving Flair fits before the match begin. You know there’s a part of Flair that wants to beat up Bischoff over that stink in WCW. Flair takes his place outside of the ring, and Bischoff is checking for any illegal objects on the wrestlers. It’s a good thing this isn’t Orlando Jordan refereeing. On that count, it’s a good thing Orlando Jordan isn’t on this PPV… period. Another note: It’s rare for a PPV to only have one title match, which is exactly what we have here.

Headlock by Styles. A.J. jawing at Joe after two shoulder block attempts. Joe charges Styles with a clothesline and starts striking Styles in the corner. Joe is deceptively athletic, which is a commodity for the company. Looking at him, you would never know he’s able to do the things he can do. Joe’s on offense right now. Good match so far. Joe gets some kicks on Styles until Styles counters one of the kicks with the Dragon Screw takedown. Styles working on the knee; Styles round kicks Joe in the back. Styles fails in a Figure 4 attempt. Joe looks like he’s going to dive… HE DOES! He nails the suicide dive that sends Styles into the guardrail. Joe sells more damage to his knee from his dive while Flair yells at the audience to “Shut Up” during a “TNA” chant. Smart business move. Styles and Joe are going at it on the outside still. Styles rolls in the ring to break the count and is now looking under the ring for… he’s pulling the mats apart, exposing the concrete floor. Styles is going for a suplex… good luck buddy. Joe fails in his own attempted suplex on the concrete. Styles and Joe go back in the ring. A.J. catches Joe coming into the ring with a dropkick.

Styles locks in a sleeper/crossface type maneuver on Joe. Crowd divided on who to root for. Styles hit his duck under dropkick schtick. If you’ve seen ANY A.J. Styles match, you know what I’m talking about. Styles nails some Flair chops, and Joe returns the favor. Styles eventually gets the upper hand on the chop exchange. Styles works on Joe at the corner, propels Joe on the top rope, and misses a hurricanrana attempt. Joe comes off the top rope with a kick. Joe striking Styles in the corner, chops A.J., Irish whips Styles into the corner, misses A.J. coming in. A.J. yells “I’m gonna kill you, you stupid Samoan!,” and Styles runs into a urinagi/Rock Bottom maneuver. Joe gets knocked down in the corner, and Flair takes advantage of Styles distraction and nails Joe’s leg into the post. Styles doing some classic Flair work on the injured leg of Joe. Styles goes for an Indian Death Lock, bends back, and locks Joe with a crossface. He eventually lets go, and instead, Styles nails the Figure 4 Leglock! Good match so far.

Bischoff slow counts Joe’s shoulders on the mats when a three could have easily been counted. Flair and Styles are doing the classic assistance during leglock, and Bischoff releases the hold when he catches them. Styles claims he’s going to kill Joe, runs at Joe, and gets propelled over the top, stomach-first onto the floor. Joe tries to mount an offense, but he still sells the leg. Bischoff is a slow count machine out there. Snap slam, and Bischoff still only counts two. Joe works on A.J. at the corner. A.J. nails his flying forearm. A.J. mounts Joe, and he starts punching him. Joe nails open slaps on Styles. Styles nails his inverted flipping DDT, and he still can’t keep Joe down. Very good match so far. I just wish the crowd would get more involved.

Styles Clash attempt reversed into a rear-naked choke. Joe explodes Styles from the choke into a back-flip suplex. Joe is going for the Muscle Buster and nails it, but Flair is keeping Bischoff from doing his job. Bischoff just nailed Flair. Joe manhandles Flair back into the ring. Bischoff and Joe push one another. Joe turns into the Pele kick. Styles Clash, and Bischoff makes a reluctant and slow 3 count. Flair has a mic, and he orders Bischoff to raise Styles hand. Bischoff responds in kind. Styles: “I’m the champ!”

Match Rating: ***1/2. Very good match. I just wish the crowd was more into it as the atmosphere killed the match in my opinion. The wrestlers have had better matches between one another, but as a regular wrestling match, this succeeded in entertaining me.

Review of the 8 Card Stud Quarterfinals and Semifinals are shown. Pope and Anderson are up next to determine who the new #1 Contender for the TNA World Heavyweight Champion will be.

Christy is with Mr. Anderson. Anderson promises to make it short and sweat. That’d be a first. He talks about his personal checklist for the night. Angle. Check. Abyss. Check. Sending Pope back to the Harlem street corner where he belongs. Soon to be check.

JB is with Pope. He calls JB “BJ.” Pope is going to call Anderson “Junior.” Pope promises to be the cashier, and Anderson is going to be a void check. Pope is jumped by Scott Hall and Syxx-Pac. Let this be a record. Scott Hall missed a happy hour, and Syxx-Pac actually showed up to a PPV. Too bad he wasn’t advertised. Hall tells Hogan “I heard you were having a party. Don’t turn your back on the Wolfpac.”

Finals of the 8 Card Stud Tournament
“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Mr. Anderson

The Pope’s music is playing, but there is no Pope. Music stops. Period of silence before “MR………….” plays on the speakers. Anderson is arguing with the ref that the match should start, and The Pope should be counted out. The referee obliges and starts the count. He gets to the count of 6 before The Pope comes crawling on the ramp. Pope gets up only to get clotheslined by Anderson. This is another match, by the way, between two ex-WWE stars. Pope is selling the beatdown like crazy right now. Anderson is being his typical jackass behavior, mocking Pope. Pope is fighting back. Anderson and Pope are fighting around the ring now. Pope goes knees first into the steel steps. Styles is shown watching the match with Flair. Anderson is in the ring asking for the countout. Pope starts climbing into the ring only for Anderson to knock himself into Pope. Pope is really doing a good job selling the injuries here, grabbing his ribs and his knees. Anderson is begging Pope to come back into the ring.

Pope is back in the ring and is mounting some offense. Pope tries in vain to suplex Anderson, but he sells the rib injury, allowing Anderson to reverse. HARD Irish whip into the corner by Anderson to Pope. Dinero is fighting back with a Pimp Slap and a rollup. Anderson gets back up and knocks Pope down. Anderson is continuing the offense. The crowd is still half-heartedly in this. This was a pretty bad crowd for this show. Pope blocks a turnbuckle shot, and he begins striking Anderson in the corner. Anderson counters with strikes of his own knocking Pope back down. Half the crowd isn’t even into this match.

Some of the crowd tries to get the ol’ clap of momentum for Pope going, but the other half of the crowd clearly isn’t buying into it. It’s official: I hate this crowd. Then again, they did see Knobbs and Saggs earlier in the evening. A crowd can make or break an event, and this crowd is just silent. No “This is boring.” No “This is awesome.” Just silence. Did the Impact Zone just become a library? Wait, there’s a CHANT NOW: LET’S GO POPE! Even that is half-hearted and doesn’t last long. Pope is back on offense. Pope nails a suplex, and then Pope nailed a German suplex. Pope takes down Anderson and gets a close count.

Anderson is sitting in the corner, and Pope nails a DDE to the chest of Anderson. The crowd believes it’s over, but it’s only a 2. Anderson clotheslines Pope, and Anderson calls for the mic. “Ladies and gentlemen, you are one Mic Check away from the next #1 Contender… Hold that thought.” He goes for the Mic Check and nails it. Pope kicks out!!! Crowd comes alive!!!! They’re alive! Anderson is going crazy. “Pope is pimpin!” chants. Anderson goes for the formerly known “Kenton Bomb,” but he misses. Anderson charges the corner, Pope ducks out of the way, and he nails the DDE on Anderson as soon as he hits the turnbuckle. Pope wins! And the crowd gives a damn!! Money flies from the top of the Impact Zone. Highlights of Pope’s night are shown. Pope gets back in the ring and celebrates his victory while Anderson can sit and look up from the floor.

Match Rating: ***. Good final match despite the fact that the crowd was dead for most of it. They told a good story about Pope trying to fight off the two previous matches, the attack by Hall/Pac, and the onslaught by Anderson.

PPV Rating: ***. I really did enjoy the tournament matches. There was only one match in that whole series that I didn’t exactly care for, which was Abyss/Foley. Anderson and Pope really came out of this PPV looking great. I think it was obvious that Anderson wasn’t going to win after his attack on Angle earlier in the evening, but there were a couple times in the main event that had I been watching live, I would have thought otherwise. Joe and Styles had a very good match as well as I expected. The rating would have been higher had the crowd actually been ALIVE for the whole event. Then again, the less said about the Ark of the Covenant tag team debacle, the better. If you want the same experience you would get from watching the match, here it is, plain and simple: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rI6-JzxV-_M

The Legacy of Against All Odds: The first thread to follow would be A.J. Styles’ title run after this PPV. Styles would go on to injure The Pope with Ric Flair’s assistance, leaving him out of Styles’ business until after Destination X. He would face the rechristened Hulkamaniac wannabe, Abyss. Abyss almost lost his mask until Hogan intervened and stopped Bischoff. Hogan then gave Abyss his Hall of Fame ring, claiming that it would endow Abyss with all the powers of Hulkamania. Like that has helped Hogan in his divorce, but I digress. I hear you can also get rings, Abyss, from a Cracker Jack box sometimes. You both have a lot in common: people pass you by and don’t really care if you are there. Abyss would face Styles at Destination X and end up with a no contest decision for throwing Styles through the ring. Abyss would continue his feud with Flair and his other associates heading into Lockdown. Styles would go on to successfully defend his championship at Lockdown, borrowing a trick from Ric Flair in using a pen on his opponent. Styles’s victory celebration would be short as he would lose the belt the next night to relative newcomer to TNA, your favorite wrestler (and his too): Rob Van Dam.

Angle and Anderson would go on to have one of the best feuds so far of 2010 in any promotion. Anderson would belittle Angle for making such a big deal about using the Warrior medal, while Angle promised to get revenge for Anderson’s disrespect to the troops. The feud included several great matches on Destination X, Impact!, and culminating in a legendary (yes, I said legendary) steel cage match at Lockdown 2010.

Other stories: Team 3D would end up facing The Nasty Boys a few more times in the next month before thankfully, someone died in the back from watching their matches and pulled the plug on The Nastys’ stay in TNA. Meanwhile, Team 3D would enter a feud with The Band that would lead to a match at Lockdown. Morgan and Hernandez would split with Morgan taking Hernandez out for several months and claiming the tag team championships by himself. Desmond Wolfe would join Beer Money and Sting as associates of Ric Flair heading into Lockdown. Mick Foley would end up leaving TNA after losing a “Loser Leaves TNA” match against Jeff Jarrett.

_ _ _ _

Ok, I hope everyone enjoyed this edition of A Disciple’s PPV Review Altar. Next time, I will be analyzing a divisive classic Attitude Era WWF PPV: WrestleMania XV. I might have some fried chicken during the Kane entrance. Either that or bet on something. See ya next time, my fellow wrestling disciples.

 

[DiscipleofWrestling]

WrestleMania XV

*****- CLASSIC
****- GREAT
***- GOOD
**- Decent
*- Bad
No Stars= Stinks

WrestleMania… The Showcase of the Immortals. The Biggest Event of the WWE’s Year. It was the one night of the year when celebrity and wrestling came together (before the days when the Guest Host gimmick minimized that importance). When you ask people about wrestling, they mention several names, but while NWA/WCW had Starrcade, it was never a comparable event to WrestleMania. Every year, the WWF put emphasis on the buildup to WrestleMania as the must see event of the year, and in 1999, WrestleMania XV was the culmination of one of the most profitable and controversial years in wrestling history. The WWF went from near bankruptcy to the number one promotion in the land and a consistent winner of the Monday Night Wars, thanks to the Austin vs. McMahon feud, a timeless feud between employee and employer. At WrestleMania, this feud would personify a great deal of the happenings of the event. The Rock, Vince McMahon’s “Corporate” WWF Champion, would face Stone Cold Steve Austin in an epic clash of personalities. In addition, Mankind (Mick Foley) would battle The Big Show for the right to be the special guest referee during the main event.

McMahon’s Corporation would fight off other “pests” to its domination that night as well. Kane would face D-Generation X’s leader, Triple H, in a battle over the injured Chyna. Shane McMahon, the silver-spoon son of Vince McMahon and current WWF European Champion, would face off against the man he “beat” for the championship, DX’s X-Pac, in a battle between a man from the streets and a man from the “Mean Streets of Greenwich, Connecticut. Finally, The Corporation’s Big Boss Man would be Vince McMahon’s line of defense as he would face The Ministry of Darkness’s leader and Vince McMahon’s continued personal tormentor, The Undertaker, inside Hell in a Cell.

Little else about this WrestleMania made much sense as I will explain below. Now, let’s get the review going.
_ _ _ _
Boys II Men sing the National Anthem live from the First Union Center in Philadelphia, PA. This would have been good if the event was held four or five years earlier. In 1999, Boys II Men was sort of irrelevant. Don’t hate me because you know that it’s true. This event is in the home of some other wrestling company called ECW. I wonder if we’ll get any ECW chants tonight.

WrestleMania’s video this year features the legendary “Classy” Freddie Blassie. As bad as I think that this event is, this is one of my favorite entrance videos ever for a PPV. However, isn’t it a little odd that they included Shawn Michaels in the opening video on multiple occasions? Well, he was commissioner at this time, but he hadn’t wrestled a match in a year at this time. If I were Vince McMahon, I would seriously use this for WrestleMania 30 when the time comes and repackage the video. It would help bring a special feeling to the event

Fireworks go off, and Good God Almighty, we’re in a time before giant video trons had to capture our ADD minds. Just a simple WrestleMania XV steel structure hanging up in front of a curtain for this event. Oh god. Lawler and Cole are calling this. I forgot. But wait. This is when Lawler legitimately still cared about his job. So, this should be decent at least.

WWF Hardcore Championship
Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly vs. “Bad Ass” Billy Gunn

Wait a minute. Here’s why this sucks already. The feud going into this PPV up until just a couple weeks before was a feud between the Road Dogg, Hardcore Holly, and Al Snow over the Hardcore Title. But thanks to questionable booking, Billy Gunn ends up winning the Hardcore Title and is inserted in Road Dogg’s place in this match. No build up whatsoever.

Billy Gunn doesn’t get to say “S*CK IT” before the match starts. Al Snow is wearing a “J.O.B. Squad” T-Shirt. Geez, I wonder why. So far, this match is just sort of there. Lawler and Cole keep putting over how great the night is going to be. Snow uses a hockey stick in the arena. Apparently, the Philadelphia Flyers play in the arena. Typical hardcore wrestling match from 1999. The cracking long objects over someone’s back gimmick is done to death in this match: hockey stick, kendo stick, broom. Once is enough, I think, or at most, one per person. Al Snow pulls a Jeff Hardy using a steel chair to propel himself. I hear a smattering of “ECW, ECW, ECW” from the crowd. Again, I wonder who Al Snow got that from. Maybe he should have worn a towel and pointed up to the air for good measure. Billy Gunn is supposedly the best athlete pound for pound in the WWF. Table set up in the corner. Al Snow and Hardcore play going through the table before Gunn knocks out Holly with a chair shot to the brain and hip tosses Snow through the table. Fameasser on Snow. Holly hits Gunn across the back with a chair. Holly pins Snow. Holly is Hardcore Champion. Yeah… for him, I guess.

Match Rating: *. This one just barely misses my No-Stars Dunce Club of Wrestling. There’s nothing special at all about this match. In fact, there’s really not much to really talk about in this either. Gunn just seemed to be there.

Apparently, D-Lo Brown and Test won a Battle Royal on Heat where they would go on and face the Tag Team Champions later at WrestleMania. I wonder who’s going to win this one.

WWF Tag Team Championship
D-Lo Brown (w/ Ivory) and Test vs. Jeff Jarrett and Owen Hart (w/Debra)

Debra is smoking hot as always, but this shows why the Attitude Era was so over the top. Debra liked to strip and show off her puppies. Yet, if you watch this video for the first time without knowing this, you would have thought Debra had just come off a corner somewhere. However, I’m not really going to complain. This is also sadly Owen Hart’s last WrestleMania match before his untimely demise. So, even as bad as this match might be, I cannot land this in the Dunce Club. Plus, Jeff and Owen were a pretty decent tag team.

“Nugget” chant. D-Lo and Jeff go at it at first before Owen and Test tag in. Gutwrench Powerbomb by Test for 2. Enzeguri by Owen. Sharpshooter by Owen before D-Lo breaks it up. D-Lo and Test are yelling smack at one another. D-Lo just yelled “You suck” at Owen. Jeff and Owen double-team D-Lo. All hell is breaking loose as Debra and Ivory are going at it. The distraction allows Owen to dropkick D-Lo into a rollup for the win. By the way, I guess PMS was supposed to be involved in this, but they showed up just as the three count came down. D-Lo, Test, and Ivory are yelling at each other over the loss until D-Lo attacks Test and the referees pull them apart.

Match Rating: *. The match was literally 5 minutes long, and to be honest, this had no right being on the PPV other than they wanted to put the Tag Team Champions on the PPV. This is sad considering what would happen in 2 months.

Brawl-for-All
Butterbean vs. Bart Gunn
Special Referee: Vinny Pazienza
Judges: Chuck Wepner, Kevin Rooney, Gorilla Monsoon (last appearance)

First of all, this was also sad as Gorilla passed away that year as well. I miss Gorilla Monsoon as an announcer as I always enjoyed his work on the mic with whomever he worked with. Gorilla looked terrible in this, but it was nice to see him one last time at a WrestleMania. Just for ol’ times sakes, in tribute to Gorilla, this was, indeed, a happening.

Brawl-For-All is a funny gimmick match. knockdowns score points. Knockouts of course end the fight. Bart Gunn won the 1998 Brawl-for-All Tournament. The announcers mention that Dr. Death Steve Williams was knocked out during the tournament along with The Godfather and Bradshaw by Bart Gunn. I hope you are ready for this.

Fighters are in their corners. Bell ring. Stiff left by Butterbean. Some body shots by Butterbean. Butterbean lands a few more shots, and Bart Gunn goes down. Bart takes a 9 count. Fight resumes. 2 seconds later, and Bart Gunn gets SMACKED with a right hand. So much for Brawl-for-All.

Match Rating: *. Ok, it wasn’t a match, but it didn’t outlive its usefulness. You can’t tell me this wasn’t staged. Still, Bart Gunn took a damn stiff shot there.

The San Diego Chicken comes out and plays games with Pazienza in the ring. I wonder if the chicken made a visit to any local gambling facilities and bet on Austin.


Winner Referees Austin-Rock
Big Show (Paul Wight) vs. Mankind (Mick Foley)

Part of this storyline was Mankind wanted to be a part of the main event at WrestleMania. After the Corporation stole his title in a ladder match, Mankind was put in matches with Undertaker and Stone Cold and beat them both. Now, he has to beat The Big Show in order to have the shot at refereeing the main event.

Mankind is over with the crowd on this night. Foley is indeed good. Foley fighting with a fury of punches. Comes off the ropes with a clothesline. Comes off the ropes again, but he runs into a big boot. Mankind on the outside now. Fighting between him and Big Show on the outside. Big Show’s head goes unprotected against the steel steps. Mankind gets flipped over the steel steps. They are back in the ring. The Big Show did a side Russian Leg Sweep. First off, that’s impressive for a big man to do something like that. Secondly, where the hell has the Russian Leg Sweep been? On a milk carton? Foley connects with Mr. Socko twice, but Big Show knocks him off. He connects a third time, but this time, Foley connects with a low blow at the same time, knocking Big Show to his knees faster than Ryan Seacrest at a truck stop. Big Show rises to his feet at two, and he launches himself back first on the mat. The problem: Mick Foley was on his back, making a Mankind Sandwich!! Show kicks Mankind outside the ring. Big Show smacks a steel chair against the midsection and now on the back. Where’s the DQ? Oh yeah. This is the Attitude Era where DQs only happen when they are “supposed” to happen. Big Show is setting up two chairs unfolded and connecting. CHOKESLAM THROUGH STEEL CHAIRS! Mankind wins by DQ!

Match Rating: *1/2. Again, nothing special. But it was a step above what hadk happened before.

Vince McMahon comes out and is clearly mic’ed. Here’s an abridged version of what he said: “Paul, what are you doing? Paul, what are you doing? I don’t give a damn about him, but do you realize what you’ve just done? You could have cost me the WWF Championship. I was counting on you, and you got yourself disqualified. Hey, don’t you turn your back on me. My name is Vince McMahon, and you’re a nobody!” Big Show picks up Vince McMahon for a chokeslam only to let him go. McMahon’s face during all of this is great, by the way. “You can’t be so hot-tempered now, damn it. Don’t make anymore mistakes. You better belittle yourself before me. Damn it, you’re a nobody. I’m Vince McMahon, dammit!” McMahon slaps Big Show. “You got that, huh?” Big Show punches Vince McMahon. (I think Big Show got the message.) Big Show keeps telling everyone “Nobody owns me.” This was sort of a rip on WrestleMania VI when Bobby Heenan cursed out Andre (listen closely, he did) and slapped him before Andre paintbrushed Heenan and Haku. Awesome segment there and awesome segment here. This is the best moment of the PPV so far.

Vince McMahon comes to backstage, and he threatens to have Big Show arrested for assault.

Four Corners Match for the WWF Intercontinental Championship
Road Dogg (champion) vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Val Venis vs. Goldust (w/ Ryan Shamrock and The Blue Meanie)

This match has NEVER made sense to me either. As mentioned earlier, Road Dogg was involved with a feud with Al Snow and Hardcore Holly before the PPV. Billy Gunn was involved in another feud surrounding Ryan Shamrock, the storyline sister of Ken Shamrock. Val Venis was in a relationship with Ryan as was Billy Gunn. However, Ryan sought refuge from the one source she knew she could go to for love: Goldust. However, Goldust’s protégé Blue Meanie never took kindly to Ryan Shamrock, and he set out to get rid of the distraction. Now, enter Road Dogg who has NO connection whatsoever with this storyline. Again, this just destroys weeks and weeks of build by inserting the other Outlaw in this match.

This supposedly marks the 20th Anniversary of the Intercontinental Championship. Yes, and look at how the championship has been hot-potatoed for this match. Goldust has never gotten the respect that he deserves. As Dusty Rhodes has said, they diluted the Goldust character to where it doesn’t mean the same thing anymore, but when he first started out, it was revolutionary in the business. I would have no shame in buying a Goldust DVD should one ever be released. Even diluted, Goldust was hilarious on the mic and solid in the ring.

I just really can’t get into this match. It’s just there. The wrestlers keep interfering with each other in the match. There’s no flow to the match. There are only supposed to be two in the ring, but incompetent Tim White (referee) allows the multiple interferences, I guess. After all, this is the “Attitude era.” Road Dogg is dominating the match right now. Road Dogg just humped Val Venis. I don’t miss that about the character whatsoever. There’s no need for that, Attitude Era or not. The Visc-agra maneuver ranks up there as another “just wrong” maneuver. Ryan Shamrock is yelling at Ken. Val and Ken are fighting up the aisle, and both were counted out. Shamrock has snapped. Oh shock. Belly-to-belly suplex. But even as he’s snapped, he takes the time to pose for the crowd. Goldust goes for the lackadaisical pin, but Dogg kicks out. Ryan Shamrock accidentally pulls Goldust leg coming off the rope, and Dogg rolls up Goldust.

Match Rating: ½ *. I wish and want to give this NO STARS. But the fact is it was a step above some of the other matches on the bottom. For one, there were actual signs of life in the audience. Secondly, the wrestling was completely dysfunctional. There seemed to be no motion to anything that was going on. However, the wrestlers hit their trademark maneuvers, and they didn’t kill the crowd. Plus, with this PPV, it’d be HARD, real hard, to do any worse than the first few matches have done. So, I’m sparing this the indignation of the NO STARS Dunce Club of Wrestling. But like any decision, I have the right to review it.

The Big Show is arrested by an entire police force who force Big Show into this small car to go down to the station. You know why this is fake? The police would have tasered him upon sight and drove his 500lb ass to Dunkin Donuts and bragged about it… BEFORE booking him.


Kane vs. Triple H

The battle over Chyna. Chyna betrayed D-Generation X and joined The Corporation. Kane and Chyna were somewhat becoming an item within The Corporation when Kane accidentally shot a fireball into Chyna’s eye when it was intended for Triple H. Triple H blamed Kane for Chyna’s injury, showing that he still had feelings for Chyna despite her betrayal. One week before WrestleMania, Kane was scheduled to go one on one with Goldust. Goldust came out to his ring entrance, and when he turned around, he shot some sort of flame thrower at Kane, knocking Kane to the ground. The lights come up, the robe comes off, and “Goldust” is revealed to actually be… Triple H in disguise. Triple H pounds the hell out of Kane, adding more steam to this vendetta over a woman burned.

The classic Kane walks down the aisle with the classic Kane theme. These were the good ol’ days when Kane’s face was still a mystery as was everything else. The San Diego Chicken attacks Kane, but Kane fights him off. Kane rips off the mask to reveal Pete Rose. Kane rolls Rose into the ring, and he delivers a Tombstone Piledriver. A swing and a miss for Pete Rose. If you had Kane in under ten seconds in this fight, you win! I swear I see Tony Garea laughing as he’s helping Rose to the back. “Break it Down!” comes across the speakers, and Triple H comes from behind Kane and gives him a low blow.

This match suffers from what every other match has suffered up until this point in the PPV: It’s just there. It just seems like they are going through the motions, and the crowd is somewhat quiet during this. Triple H is the face, and during spots in this match when he’s on the advantage, the crowd is quiet. This is a 20,000 seat arena left quiet. Kane and Triple H are trying their damndest to get something going, but the crowd is just dead. Wait, there’s a smattering of applause. Chyna is walking down the aisle. The crowd goes back to being quiet, until Kane hits the steel steps in the ring face first. Triple H knocks up his “game” to another notch, trying to get the crowd into it. He tries to pedigree Kane on the bottom part of the steel steps on the outside, only for Kane to backdrop him onto the mat. Kane chokeslams Triple H in the ring. Chyna brings a steel chair into the ring, and she talks Kane into letting her hit Triple H. Kane turns around, and Chyna hits Kane’s back with the steel chair! Oh snap. Oh the horror. Oh… wait. This happened to Kane at Judgment Day just a few months ago, only the person swinging the chair was Paul Bearer. Are we to really believe that Kane could be that dumb? Or is it just the stupidity of the bookers not to think of some other fresh way to have someone stab Kane in the back? Terrible booking that completely ruins this match. I don’t mind the direction they are going, but damn it, think of some other way to get the job done than stealing from your own PPV event only a few months ago.

Kane turns to Chyna like “Why?” Kane lowers his head, and Triple H goes to work on Kane with the steel chair. Kane gets pedigreed onto the chair, and Triple H and Chyna embrace in the ring. DX is whole… and the crowd actually cares now after all of that. Chyna officially “has more faces than Mt. Rushmore,” according to Lawler. I don’t know about that, but she definitely looks like the lovechild of Conan The Barbarian and Xena: Warrior Princess.

Match Rating: NO STARS. While I understand that the end result was needed, I don’t agree with how they booked it. Nor do I think fans needed to sit through ten minutes of Kane and Triple H trying to have at least decent match. The crowd was dead most of the time, and I don’t blame them. This PPV has sucked so far, and this match is frankly a little more guilty than others in why WrestleMania XV is such a terrible PPV. So, Kane and Triple H at WrestleMania officially joins the No Stars Dunce Club of Wrestling! If you walk up to either one of them… scratch that. I wouldn’t want you to get your eye poked by being in the same city as Triple H’s nose. And frankly, pissing off Glen Jacobs is not something anyone should ever endeavor to do.

Backstage, Vince McMahon just happens to have a perfect referee’s costume, now that Mankind is in the hospital and Big Show is in jail. So, McMahon puts himself in as guest referee for Rock-Austin tonight.

WWF Women’s Championship
Sable (champion) vs. Tori

Sable comes out, and the male fans are going absolutely nuts. I forgot that this is when Sable was acting like a bitch. This is an example of “purported reality” being put in the ring. Sable: “This is for all the women who want to be me, and for all the men who come to see me. Are you boys ready for the grind?” Certain body functions should be accelerated at this point if you are a red-blooded male.

Tori is wearing a bodysuit that looks like a stripper’s outfit. Sable goes to work on Tori with boots to the midsection and tosses her out of the ring. Just a bunch of standing around until Tori pulls Sable out and goes to work on her on the outside. The chop from Tori got a “Wooo!” chant. Sable goes on the apron and dives onto Tori with a crossbody. Sable puts Tori back in the ring, and she continues to beat on Tori until Tori decides she’s had enough of Sable’s gyrating. For the record, I haven’t, even though this match isn’t exactly great. God, the wrestling in this match is terrible, but it still looks a hell of a lot better than 90% of Diva’s matches today. They are botching maneuvers left and right now. This has no business being on WrestleMania. Then again, nothing has so far. Nicole Bass comes into the ring, and he presses Tori over her head. Sable powerbombs Tori for the win.

Match Rating: ¼ *. Why am I not giving it NO STARS? First, the crowd was awake. Secondly, it didn’t outlive its usefulness. Third, Sable is damn hot. The fans knew what they were getting in this, and the WWF made it short and sweet.

WWF European Championship
Shane McMahon (champion) vs. X-Pac

This is about Shane McMahon’s victory over X-Pac for the European Championship after Shane hit X=Pac with the title. This is a classic “rich, spoiled brat vs. hardened worker” storyline. Shane and the Mean Street Posse spent weeks beating up X-Pac at every turn. X-Pac promises to “hurt” Shane McMahon.

DX is interviewed backstage. Triple H claims DX is whole, and Shane is going to get his shiny, corporate ass kicked.

Shane McMahon walks out with Test beside him. This is a couple months before Test “dated” Stephanie, and Shane and Test went to war at SummerSlam that year. Shane’s got his jersey gimmick going here, wearing a WrestleMania XV jersey with some rants on it. X-Pac is jumped by The Stooges on route to the ring, but he fights them off and makes it to the ring. Shane comes from the “mean streets” of Greenwich, according to Lawler. Shane is playing up the heel coward role by staying away from X-Pac. X-Pac gets lowblowed by Test when he sends X-Pac crotch first into the steel post.

Shane McMahon roughs up X-Pac for a few minutes. He goes for the “Corporate Elbow” until X-Pac moves out of the way. Lowblow to X-Pac behind the referee’s back. Shane is using Test’s belt against X-Pac, and the noise is deafening from the belt shots. They sound as stiff as hell. X-Pac flies onto Shane McMahon on the outside and beats up the Mean Street Posse when they try to grab onto X-Pac. Test again flattens X-Pac. Shane climbs the turnbuckle and hits an elbow on X-Pac. He climbs up again, but X-Pac catches him with a dropkick, crotching Shane on the top rope. X-Pac hits a superplex. Match of the Night so far. Test sends X-Pac out, but Test hurts himself on the steel stairs. X-Pac goes to work on Shane with the belt used earlier. X-Pac hits the Bronco Buster. Test nails X-Pac with the European Championship behind the referee’s back. Shane is crawling towards X-Pac, makes the cover, and only gets a two count. Shane is calling for something. Shane tries and fails to hit the Bronco Buster. Test gets back in, only to get knocked down by X=Pac. Test gets the Bronco Buster. Triple H and Chyna come out. Triple H pulls Test out, and Chyna distracts the ref. X-Factor by X=Pac to Shane, but Triple H turns on X-Pac and pedigrees him. He puts Shane over X-Pac, and Shane wins the match.

After the match, Test and Triple H beat up on X-Pac while “No Chance in Hell” plays gloriously on the speakers. The Outlaws come out and get beaten down by Triple H and Test. The fans are chanting “HBK,” but instead, they get the “Half-Burned Kane” who chases off the villainous Corporation.

Match Rating: **1/2. This is by far the best match of the evening so far. Shane McMahon did a great job despite this being his first singles wrestling match in the company. The constant interference worked for the match since everyone knew Shane couldn’t beat X-Pac by himself.

Michael Cole ponders if this is the end for DX. Road Dogg can hear him in the ring, and here’s the conversation:
Road Dogg: “… Hunter, that jack-off. He’s finished.“
Michael Cole: “Road Dogg just saying that Triple H is finished.”
Road Dogg: “’Jack-off.’ You heard me.”

Good thing this isn’t the PG era. “Waa. Mommy, he just said ‘Jack-off.’”

Hell in a Cell
Undertaker vs. The Big Boss Man

Another match thrown together for WrestleMania. However, this one has somewhat of a story to it. Undertaker had created this large group called “The Ministry of Darkness.” The Ministry was composed of several men who were sacrificed to the Undertaker’s teachings and pledged themselves to helping him take over the WWF. This included Faarooq, Bradshaw, Mabel (now Viscera), Phineas Godwin (now Mideon), and The Brood (Edge, Christian, and Gangrel). Undertaker pledged to make Vince McMahon’s life a living hell, and the mind games began. Undertaker had Paul Bearer bring a stuffed teddy bear to the ring during an Inferno Match, which brought Vince McMahon to his knees crying. Undertaker promised McMahon that he could do whatever he wanted to his family whenever he wanted to do it. Vince once had the Undertaker arrested for invasion of privacy and assault, which led to a great shot of Undertaker submitting his hands for arrest while signaling the symbol behind him to be set on fire. McMahon had his personal security guard, The Big Boss Man, enter Hell in a Cell to deal with The Undertaker. Undertaker vows to “own the World Wrestling Federation.”

Now, on my DVD (circa 1999), the Big Boss Man’s entrance into Hell in a Cell has been edited out. If memory serves me correctly, Michael Cole got a little overzealous when trying to promote the WWF’s post show on QVC or Home Shopping Network (I can’t remember which one) and Cole said “We will talk to the NEW WWF Champion later tonight.” Um, ok, but the WWF Championship match hadn’t happened yet. Oops. If I remember, Lawler tried to save face a few seconds later by saying “You are assuming we’re going to have a new WWF Champion…” blah blah blah. Damage done. Michael Cole… sucking since 1997.

Anyway, Boss Man is in the ring, and Undertaker’s music hits with a speech at the beginning: “(chant) Accept the Lord of Darkness as your savior. (More non-English) Allow the purity of evil to guide you.” I thought Dick Cheney had this trademarked. Undertaker goes to work on Boss Man. “Count him, dammit! Count him!” Paul Bearer screams as Undertaker had Boss Man pinned. Wow, this match is painful to watch. Then again, this whole PPV has been painful to watch, sans the McMahon/X-Pac match. Michael Cole just put over Hell in a Cell by saying “This isn’t a regular cage match. You can get a finger caught in there.” I’m sorry. Anyone that thinks Michael Cole is better than Jim Ross needs a new brain or just needs to stick to watching American Idol along with the 55 million other tools in this country. Boss Man handcuffs Taker to the cell, and he begins to hit him with his club until Taker breaks the club sliding down the cage. “Boring” chants are being heard around the arena. I can’t blame them. As bad as people claim the last Hell in a Cell PPV was, all of those matches were, at minimum, 10 times better than this was.

Undertaker grabs a steel chair and smacks Boss Man’s back with it. Undertaker is back in the ring and is just circling around for no good reason. He goes back outside, puts Boss Man over his shoulder, and propels him face first into the Cell. The crowd shouldn’t be chanting “boring” because no one is flying off Hell in a Cell. They should be yelling “boring” since this match is just a terrible exhibition of bad chemistry, bad ring work, and one man trying to carry the other to something respectable. Undertaker hits his signature flying clothesline, but he gets tripped up when trying to hit Old School. I feel like Al Roker: “This match will probably land in the No Stars Dunce Club of Wrestling. That’s what’s going on in this review. Here’s what’s happening in your neck of the woods.” I wish I had a “cutaway” from this match so I wouldn’t have to watch any more. Undertaker tombstones Boss Man, and this abortion is over.

Post-Match: The Brood comes from the ceiling onto the top of Hell in a Cell upon Undertaker’s signal. They work to open up the top of the Hell in a Cell, and they send a freaking noose through the top of the Cell. Undertaker grabs the noose and wraps it around Boss Man’s neck. Paul Bearer makes the Cell move up, and Boss Man finds himself hung off the Hell in a Cell. Boss Man sells the hanging like a D-actor, moving violently one moment and then suddenly without any pause becoming unconscious. “Is The Undertaker hanging The Corporation in effigy?” No, he’s just showing how the audience feels after having to watch this PPV… or listen to Michael Cole’s announcing.

Match Rating: No Stars. Enough said. It takes two to dance, and Big Boss Man clearly stunk up the joint with this match. Undertaker can only do so much, but still, he was in this stink as well. So, I have no other choice but to land an Undertaker match as a member of the No Star Dunce Club of Wrestling.

A video telling the story of Rock-Austin is shown.

Michael Cole announces Jim Ross coming down the aisle to call the main event. About damn time. I know J.R. was suffering from a Bell’s Palsy attack around this time, but I’d rather listen to a 30% Jim Ross than a 100% Michael Cole any day of the week. Good god, the announcing just picked up with Vince McMahon’s entrance.

Mr. McMahon comes out dressed in black to be the guest referee. That’s the referee’s shirt that he was talking abou? “Sexy Boy” plays on the speakers, and Shawn Michaels is coming down the aisle with Mike Chioda, a licensed referee! Remember, around this time, Shawn Michaels was The Commissioner of the WWF. He was once aligned with McMahon until Vince tried to fire Michaels. Michaels turned against McMahon, and the rest is history.

Michaels says “We can’t have a WrestleMania without the Heartbreak Kid.” Well, someone needs to tell Shawn that they did four times, and they did pretty well actually. And they would do three more non-HBK WrestleManias after this before his epic return from 2002-2010. HBK says only he can appoint an official for a match at WrestleMania. He tells McMahon to get the hell out of the area, and the Corporation is barred from ringside. But it takes HBK three times to mention that McMahon is allowed to come down, even seemingly with McMahon coaching him during the promo. HBK promises to beat up Vince if The Corporation interferes.

WWF Championship
The Rock (champion) vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin

Austin had been screwed out of the WWF Championship by being put in a Triple Threat match with Kane and Undertaker where Kane could not pin Undertaker and Undertaker could not pin Kane. Thus, Austin got double-pinned in a glorified handicap match. McMahon screwed Austin out of the WWF Championship on multiple occasions until Austin beat McMahon in a Steel Cage, earning his way to WrestleMania. McMahon promised that The Rock was going to beat Austin, and Austin had “No Chance in Hell” of winning the WWF Championship. The Rock and Austin had a history as well as both feuded over the Intercontinental Championship in the past. Austin bathed The Rock and the male McMahon family members in beer just six days before.

The Rock makes his way out. Austin comes out in a T-Shirt instead of the usual black vest. Nothing this night is going the way it’s supposed to. Apparently, Austin had lost the vest in luggage or something the night before, and later, Austin remarked how this ruined the match for him. Austin and Rock go to war as this is THE main event of WrestleMania XV (Thank God!). Austin’s main event matches resembled bar room brawls more than actual wrestling matches, which fits the character. So, you’ll get no gripe from me. The Rock and Austin are fighting into the crowd. Austin knocks Rock back into ringside on one side, and he proceeds to throw Rock back out another side over the security wall. Austin and Rock are going down the aisle, fighting right beside the entrance way. God, this is such a different feel from now. The Rock backdrops Austin into the steel support holding the lights, with Austin clipping his knee on it. More brawling. Austin kicks Rock right straight in the jewels while Rock is lying down. The Rock is thrown into the steel WrestleMania XV logo! The Rock reverses a suplex attempt by Austin on the concrete floor just outside of the ringside area. We get the typical Rock water spot in the match. Austin lays Rock on the Spanish Announce Table, and Austin dives twice onto Rock with an elbow from the guard rail. The second time sent Rock and Austin throw a table. Good news: They are back in the ring. Rock rolls back out and trips up Austin, nailing Austin’s knee against the steel post . Austin and Rock brawl some more on the outside. Austin sends Rock into the steel steps. Rock is back in the ring now thanks to Austin.

Austin gets back in the ring, and he goes to pick up The Rock. ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM! Austin kicks out! The Rock grabs a steel chair. Austin kicks Rock in the gut. Austin accidentally hits the referee in the head with a chair. Rock nails Austin with a neckbreaker. Rock grabs the steel chair and goes to work on Austin’s knees. Austin gets nailed on the skull. Austin kicks out of a pin attempt. Tim White made the count, and he’s now assuming refereeing duties for the match. The Rock is now using a reverse chin lock on Austin. After being so insane in the opening minutes, the wrestlers probably need a few minutes to catch a breather. Austin gets up, and he begins to punch The Rock. The Rock nails a Samoan Drop, but Austin barely kicks out. The Rock ROCKBOTTOMS Tim White! Referee #2 down. STONE COLD STUNNER! Earl Hebner runs down the aisle. One, Two… THE ROCK KICKS OUT! Good match so far.

The crowd is booing because Vince McMahon comes out. He’s threatening and taunting Austin. Rock lowblows Austin. McMahon enters the ring. Hebner yells at McMahon, and McMahon decks Hebner! Referee #3 down. McMahon seems like he’s taking over. The Rock and McMahon are stomping Austin in the corner. Mankind is back! And he hits McMahon and rolls him out of the ring. Austin attempts a rollup, but The Rock kicks out. Lou Theze press and elbow spot by Austin. But moments later, Austin gets hit with THE ROCK BOTTOM. THE CORPORATE ELBOW… MISSES!!!!! Austin goes for the Stunner, The Rock reverses into a Rock Bottom attempt, which is reversed into A STONE COLD STUNNER. ROCK FLIPS OVER FROM THE IMPACT IN ALL ITS GLORY. 1,2, 3!!! STONE COLD WINS! WHAT A MATCH! The crowd is going nuts. Eat that, John Cena.

Post Match: McMahon is bent over in frustration and pain over Austin’s victory. Austin’s popularity was so great that no matter how long the celebration went on, the crowd noise DID NOT DIE! Even the most hardcore John Cena fan cannot honestly say that this phenomenon happens with his post-match celebrations. McMahon tells Austin that he has his belt, that it belongs to McMahon. Austin belts McMahon in the mouth, rolls him in the ring, and gives him a Stunner. Austin plants his foot over the top of Mount McMahon and pours beer all over McMahon to end the show.

Match Rating: ****. Austin vs. Rock is a guaranteed entertaining match. Their WrestleMania matches were great in their own way. The pacing was great as they went more hardcore at the beginning and then settled into a more structured match at the end. It took a little bit of everything that had been happening in the night in terms of the referee scenario and added a sense of pandemonium to the encounter. Did it distract from the match? I personally don’t think that it did.

PPV Rating- *1/2. God, where do I begin with this one? This is just a bad show, possibly the worst WrestleMania in history. The storylines going into WrestleMania were interesting until in a few matches, they pulled a last minute swerve. This completely ruined the build for two matches: The Hardcore Championship match and the Intercontinental Championship match. It does make a difference when you replace someone just to be random. It ruined what could have been two better than average matches on the card. Also, the tag team battle royal idea was stupid to determine the #1 Contenders for the tag titles on that night. There should have been an actual tag team in the challenger position: The Acolytes and Edge and Christian for example. The match was nothing special, which sucks considering all that happened later that year.

The Brawl for All was a giant waste of time again which could have gone towards strengthening one of the abhorrent matches on the card. Only two matches are on this which are watchable from an entertainment standpoint: X-Pac vs. Shane McMahon and The Rock vs. Steve Austin. The rest of it is throwaway. For the record, Michael Cole’s commentary has not changed a damn bit since this event, which is sad given J.R. could have at least turned this show into a watchable affair.

The Legacy of WrestleMania XV: The event itself has to be considered in the bottom five WrestleManias of all time, if not bottom three. The only redeeming moments of the PPV were the Austin-Rock and McMahon/X-Pac matches. WWE just didn’t put much thought into the show at all. They seemingly were wanting to bank on the hype of WrestleMania just for the sake of WrestleMania. Now, for the matches’ legacy….

Austin-Rock evolved into a primary feud in WWF lore. They would end up having a rematch at Backlash 1999 for the WWF Championship after The Corporation refused to give Steve Austin his Smoking Skull Championship back, harkening back to the fact that McMahon took the title as his own trophy after BreakDown’s Undertaker-Austin-Kane match. Rock would lose the rematch, and he would turn on Shane McMahon and become a face. Austin and Rock would continue to face off over the next few years, creating incredible memories and classic showdowns.

Triple H benefited the most out of WrestleMania XV in the long run. After this event, Triple H was shed of the DX persona and became a strict wrestling heel. Triple H would go on to compete for the WWF Championship at SummerSlam 1999 in the main event’s triple threat match. While he didn’t score the victory, he defeated the winner of that match (Mankind) the next night on Raw to become WWF Champion. Triple H became the main heel of the WWF, becoming embroiled in feuds with the likes of The Rock, Vince McMahon, Mick Foley, Chris Jericho, and Stone Cold Steve Austin.

The Undertaker continued his “Ministry of Darkness” persona and wreaked havoc on the McMahon Family. He abducted Stephanie and wed her in what was termed “an unholy union.” Steve Austin saved Stephanie that night, and Undertaker became obsessed with making Austin pay. Undertaker and Shane McMahon merged their prospective stables, forming “The Corporate Ministry.” Undertaker would capture the WWF Championship at Over the Edge 1999, and Undertaker promised the revelation of the “Higher Power.” “The Higher Power” turned out to be Vince McMahon, making everything that happened between Undertaker and McMahon, including WrestleMania XV, a rouse.
_ _ _ _ _
The next PPV Review will be: WWE No Way Out 2003, the PPV featuring Rock-Hogan II, Austin vs. Bischoff, and many more matches.

Hope you have enjoyed this review. See you later, my fellow wrestling disciples.
_ _ _ _
No-Stars Dunce Club of Wrestling:
Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards- WWF No Way Out 2001
The Nasty Boys vs. Team 3D- TNA Against All Odds 2010
Kane vs. Triple H- WWF WrestleMania XV
Undertaker vs. The Big Boss Man- WrestleMania XV

 

[jenifer111]

Don't try this at home is one of the tag line moto in this case..

 

[DiscipleofWrestling]

WWE No Way Out 2003

*****- CLASSIC
****- GREAT
***- GOOD
**- Decent
*- Bad
No Stars= Stinks

As I mentioned in the No Way Out 2001 PPV Review, No Way Out was sort of a gateway PPV on the road to WrestleMania: the middle chapter in a three PPV saga. On some instances, it did justice to the story arcs the WWE was trying to put together. In other instances, it contributed nothing. (1998 and 2002 were prime examples of this: throwaway PPVs which did little towards the overall development of WrestleMania.) 2003’s No Way Out had a lot of momentum going into it, no thanks to the Royal Rumble 2003 PPV. The stinker of a PPV left a bad taste in many wrestling fans mouths as the quality of matches was questionable. One of the reasons for this perception was the terrible performance of the Scott Steiner-Triple H match. The one positive to come out of this feud after Royal Rumble 2003 was the formation of Evolution as Randy Orton and Batista joined Triple H and Ric Flair in a beat down of Scott Steiner. Steiner looked for revenge and the World Heavyweight Championship at No Way Out. The question was could Freakzilla and The Game actually have a watchable match.

One of the few positive moments at Royal Rumble 2003 was when both Eric Bischoff and Stephanie McMahon promised major surprises for their perspective shows. Hulk Hogan returned to WWE after a five month absence to Stephanie McMahon’s Friday Night SmackDown!. The only thing about this was one man didn’t want to see Hogan return: Mr. McMahon. McMahon made it known that he wanted Hogan taken out. So, he turned to the one man who wanted to make an impact by returning as well: The Rock. Rock vs. Hogan II was majorly hyped by WWE at this time due to the overwhelming popularity of the first match at WrestleMania X8. However, there was a twist: The Rock played the villain, personifying the over the top Hollywood personality many fans came to regard him as when he left to film movies after SummerSlam 2002. Rock and Hogan, to my recollection, only met one time during this buildup to No Way Out 2003. Rock proceeded to humiliate Hulk Hogan and spit in his face. With Rock having won their first one on one match, the question was if Hogan could even the score with The Rock.

Meanwhile, on Raw, Eric Bischoff was in a bind as Mr. McMahon was unpleased with his efforts as General Manager of the flagship show of WWE. Therefore, he gave Bischoff 30 Days to turn things around, or Bischoff was going to get canned (with a heavy indication that Shane McMahon would take over as GM of Raw). After the Royal Rumble, Bischoff made a shocking announcement of his own: he was going to resign Stone Cold Steve Austin. Bischoff was fired when he seemingly failed in his attempt to bring Austin back, until J.R. announced Austin would be at No Way Out. Vince rehired Bischoff with one condition: he had to face Steve Austin, the man he fired in WCW in 1995, in a wrestling match at No Way Out. Bischoff tried to convince the world that he would defeat Steve Austin by beating up Jim Ross on Raw, but the world knew Austin was going to open up a can of “Whoop-Ass”, stomp a mud-hole in Eric Bischoff, and walk it dry!!!

The WWE Championship feud was beginning to heat up during this time as well. Brock Lesnar had won the 2003 Royal Rumble, and as a result, he instantly became the number one contender for the WWE Championship held by Kurt Angle. Adding further salt into this storyline was the fact that Kurt Angle was managed by Lesnar’s former manager, Paul Heyman, who had assembled a group called Team Angle (now known as The World’s Greatest Tag Team) to assist and defend Kurt Angle. While Team Angle sought to defend Angle, others wanted to take down this regime including Chris Benoit (who had a ***** match with Kurt Angle at the 2003 Royal Rumble PPV) and Edge (who was emerging as a serious mid-card talent seemingly bound for main event status). At No Way Out, it was scheduled to be Team Angle (Kurt Angle, Shelton Benjamin, and Charlie Haas) vs. Edge, Chris Benoit, and #1 Contender Brock Lesnar in a six-man tag.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
The opening video begins, and the fireworks go off as only WWE can produce them. Jonathan Coachman, who is actually a better ESPN host than he is a play-by-play analyst, welcomes us to the show and is working with Jerry Lawler due to the aforementioned angle where Bischoff attacked J.R.

This event takes place from Montreal, Canada. So, you know two things are going to happen. First, Hulk Hogan is going to get an amazing reaction when he comes out, more so than usual. Montreal always treated Hogan like a god in the 2002-03 run he had with the company. Hogan could just stand in the middle of the ring and not say a single word, and the crowd would chant “Hogan, Hogan, Hogan!” Some people actually gave Hogan crap for soaking in the audience. Yeah, because you’d die to have 20,000 people screaming your name. Flair had North Carolina. Hogan had Canada, seemingly. Second, you know Shawn Michaels and Earl Hebner were going to get booed out of the building, especially since this was one of the first times since the Montreal Screwjob that Michaels would be “around” for that show. He wasn’t booked for a match, but given his feud with a certain “Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah,” you had to figure HBK couldn’t stay behind the curtain during this first match:

Match #1: Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy

Howard Finkel is doing ring announcements. Man, this was a while ago. Jericho was feuding with Shawn Michaels and Test around this time. However, also around this time, Jericho was also feuding with Jeff Hardy who was trying to prove himself to Shawn Michaels. The match had changed several times from Jericho vs. Test to Jericho vs. Hardy.

Good back and forth action in the early going. Hardy is doing his usual acrobatic shtick by hitting hurracanranas, an inverted Whisper in the Wind from the middle rope to the outside, and a variation of a moonsault. Jericho meanwhile does his usual heel work taunting the crowd and working more methodically (which is what a heel usually does). The announcers mention Vengeance 2001 again to put over Jericho’s accomplishments. Jericho’s chops to Hardy are LOUD! Holy crap. Hardy just hit Jericho with a Code Breaker, and this is before 2007. Talk about a harbinger of things to come. The Canadian crowd is chanting “Let’s GO Jericho!” Hardy and Jericho start trading back and forth pin attempts. Hardy hits Whisper in the Wind, but he only gets a 2. Hardy tries an enziguri, but he gets put in the Walls of Jericho instead. He gets to the ropes. Hardy hits a huge arm drag off of the top rope, and he hits the Swanton Bomb from the opposite corner, but Jericho gets his foot on the ropes. Jericho gets rolled up for a CLOSE 2 count. Jericho tries to hit a move off the second rope, but he gets nailed by a dropkick. Hardy misses a Swanton! Jericho hits the Lionsault! One, Two… HARDY KICKS OUT! Good match. They continue to trade pin attempts, and they just keep kicking out!!! Jericho is mounted on the top rope. Hardy tries for a hurricanrana, but Jericho nails a super powerbomb from the top rope! Walls of Jericho, and Hardy almost gets to the ropes. Jericho pulls Hardy to the middle of the ring, and Hardy has to tap out! Jericho refuses to let go, and HBK is here! The crowd is mixed. Christian comes out to help Jericho, but he joins Jericho in getting nailed with a double DDT. Shawn Michaels nails Christian with Sweet Chin Music. The crowd is now mostly applauding HBK as “Sexy Boy” hits the speakers.

Match Rating: ***. Solid opening contest. The crowd was red hot for the entire match which helped matters a lot. It’s funny to see how far Jeff Hardy has progressed as a wrestler from this time period to today.

Kurt Angle is with Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. They run down the crowd in Canada and their opponents tonight. Angle says he has a plan to give them an advantage.

A limousine arrives, and Evolution comes out. Behind Evolution, a truck is shown with the Steve Austin smoking skull logo on it.

WWE World Tag Team Championships
Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. William Regal/Lance Storm (champions)

Rob Van Dam is over. The more things change, the more they stay the same. The announcers discuss RVD’s victory over Goldust at last year’s No Way Out. Great match in my opinion, but this is 2003, not 2002. The entrances are rushed as it appears the “powers that be” want this show to get on the road.

Storm and RVD show off some impressive athletic back and forth display before Storm tags in Regal. Regal is such a good wrestler when he is allowed to be shown as such. RVD hits a split-legged moonsault, but he only gets a two. Kane tags in and goes to work. Highlights of the rest of the match include: Regal smacking the back of his head on the mat, looking a little groggy for the rest of the match; Van Dam hitting a senton splash on Storm on the outside; Regal and Storm working on RVD; Kane having his mask twisted after a failed chokeslam attempt; Kane hitting RVD with the chokeslam; Regal taking advantage and pinning RVD. MARK THIS AS A RED LETTER DAY: Van Dam is angry about something and not on his “chill” buzz as per usual.

Match Rating: **. The match is definitely not remarkable in terms of match quality, but it was decent and kept the crowd’s interest. A suitable time waster on a PPV.

Matt Hardy is interviewed about the advantages of Mattitude. He confronts Jeff and tells him that he needs to accept Mattitude in order to actually win a match. Jeff slaps his brother.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Billy Kidman (champion) vs. Matt Hardy w/ Shannon Moore (his little M-F’er).

Just for the record, “MATT IS ANNOYED BY SNOW & ICE,” and “MATT TAKES HOT TEA WITH MILK & SWEETENER.” The preceding was thanks to the classic Matt Hardy V.1. entrance video which gave us all the needed Mattitude facts.

Hiptoss mania rules the opening moments of the match. Good back and forth action in these exchanges. Tazz is talking about “Nut Butter.” I’m going to pretend he didn’t say that and move on. Hardy looks like the heaviest cruiserweight that I’ve ever seen. Nice spot where the Side Effect was countered into a rollup by Kidman. Hardy goes to work on the leg, Kidman nips up while Hardy is holding the leg, and he hits the enziguri. Kidman goes back on the attack. Hardy responds with a clothesline and a legdrop from the middle rope for a TWO count. Kidman nails a nasty looking standing dropkick, followed by a plancha onto Hardy on the outside. Kidman and Hardy continue to trade moves back and forth. Kidman kicks out of a pin attempt after a Side Effect. Kidman nails a bulldog off the ropes. Kidman goes for the Shooting Star Press, but he misses. Twist of Fate! One, Two, kickout! Hardy can’t believe it. Hardy puts Kidman on the turnbuckle, Hardy looks to be down on the mat for the Shooting Star Press, The M F’er interferes, and Hardy nails a sick Twist of Fate from the top rope onto Kidman, earning him the pinfall and the Cruiserweight Championship.

Match Rating: **1/2. Another match I wouldn’t consider a classic by any means of the imagination, but it was a very enjoyable match.

Edge is shown being laid out on the outside. Benoit is screaming for Edge to respond. Lesnar doesn’t know what’s going on.

Big Show vs. Undertaker

The buildup to this is as follows: Undertaker was thrown off the stage by Big Show on an episode of Smackdown following No Mercy’s Hell in a Cell match between Taker and Lesnar. Undertaker just recently made his comeback, and he demanded Big Show be a man and fight him. For weeks, Heyman would tell Taker that Big Show would not be able to be there. But Show had several boxed gifts for Taker over the course of a month. The first would be Brian Kendrick delivering a singing message to Undertaker professing Show’s regret for what happened. A similar thing happened the next week when Undertaker received another boxed gift, and this time, he received his old manager, Brother Love, who of course asked the Undertaker to forgive The Big Show The third week, Kanyon came out dressed as Boy George proclaiming “Do you really want to hurt me? The Big Show is really really sorry.” All three of these gifts ended up with Undertaker beating the messenger. The fourth week, The Undertaker had two boxes: One with a puppy and one that was empty. The empty box allowed Big Show to attack Undertaker from behind.

Undertaker jumps Big Show from the get-go, really unleashing some heavy hitting blows including his classic legdrop on the apron maneuver. Undertaker grabs a steel chair, only for Big Show to punch the chair into Undertaker. The announcers discuss the fact that most of Undertaker’s main maneuvers won’t work on Big Show due to his massive size. No duh. Big Show roughs up Undertaker including a massive in-ring suplex. Undertaker is busted open, and Big Show is having a decent performance here. Undertaker is selling like crazy. “Come On!” Undertaker yells at Big Show. Undertaker tries to chokeslam Big Show to no effect. Undertaker launches himself at Big Show with a clothesline. Taker goes for Old School on Big Show, and he connects. He goes for the chokeslam again, but Big Show goes for the goozle himself. Undertaker nails a low blow on Big Show, and he plants him with a huge DDT but only gets a 2 count. Now, he’s signaling for a Last Ride. Yeah, right. DAMN! Big Show nails a spinebuster, but he only gets a two count. Big Show nails “Snake Eyes” on Undertaker, but again, Undertaker kicks out at 2. Big Show goes to press Undertaker over his head, but Undertaker cinches in a dragon sleeper. A-Train interferes, but Undertaker launches himself over the top rope onto A-Train and Paul Heyman!!!! Holy **** chants! Undertaker looks like a killing machine as he gives the slash throat while bleeding. Big Show nails a chokeslam however. He goes to cover Undertaker, but Undertaker cinches a triangle choke on Big Show. Big Show goes unconscious, and the referee calls for the bell! Undertaker wins. Undertaker goes to hit Big Show with a steel chair, but A-Train comes up from behind and nails a De-Railer/Baldo Bomb. He claims Undertaker is a “little dog” in his post-match smack.

Match Rating: ***. Very entertaining match from the two big men. Big Show and Undertaker usually have pretty entertaining matches, and this one was no exception from where I’m typing.

Eric Bischoff is shown preparing for his match. Chief Morley claims that he has several people lined up to help Bischoff beat Austin. Vince McMahon comes in and tells Bischoff that there will be no interference! Anyone that interferes will be fired on the spot. “No Way Out.”

Two on Three Handicap Tag Team Match
Team Angle (Kurt Angle, Shelton Benjamin, and Charlie Haas w/ Paul Heyman)
Vs.
Chris Benoit and Brock Lesnar

Lesnar was a beast back then. I’m not saying he isn’t today. You don’t become UFC World Heavyweight Champion by being a sissy. He was over as hell during this time as well. Angle was playing the coward heel during this match, not getting involved until after Lesnar got on the defensive. How could a match with Lesnar, Angle, and Benoit fail? Seriously, you answer that question for me where a match involving all three totally sucked, and I’ll change my mind. Otherwise, I don’t think you can fail with this combination. Angle had a choke hold on Lesnar until Lesnar rammed Kurt Angle skull and neck first into the turnbuckle. If I remember correctly, this is how Angle broke his neck during this match. Angle would need to get surgery on it, but the gamer that he was, Angle would wait until after WrestleMania to get the procedure.

God, Benoit was so intense. Angle takes a German suplex despite being injured! Angle belly to belly suplexes Benoit off the top rope! Angle and Benoit could have wrestled every week on Smackdown, and they could have done a PPV match for all the PPVs in 2003. I still would not have complained. Haas and Benjamin nail their leapfrog maneuver on Benoit. Benoit chops the hell out of Benjamin. Lesnar got the tag, and he was moving at such a rapid pace during this match, I blinked and missed some of the action!!! Angle and Benoit trade reversals of submission maneuvers!!! Benoit crossfaces Haas. F5 to Angle!!! Haas taps out at the time when Angle lands! DAMN! Good!! Match!!

Match Rating: ***1/2. It’s very hard to pull off a handicap match well. There’s definitely the possibility of having the drama, but handicap matches more often than not drift into not being so good. This is the rare exception, and as I said, any match with Lesnar, Angle, and Benoit would have a hard time failing in my book.

World Heavyweight Championship
Scott Steiner vs. Triple H (champion)

Somehow, I don’t think that Scott Steiner’s muscles are legit. I don’t know why, but I have a feeling this match won’t be on the up and up in terms of both wrestlers being “clean.” Triple H is insanely over in Montreal tonight. It might have something to do with the fact that Steiner has the number 1 on his tights, with an American Flag in the 1. Great way to get a face reaction, Scott Steiner. You stay classy. A ton of people are moving around right now. This match is the designated bathroom break of the evening, apparently. Maybe this pairing has a reputation from last month. At least I can hear people react to this match. Steiner is so big that he can barely move in this match. Steiner works on Triple H’s left leg. The chemistry between these two couldn’t be more toxic. Sonny and Cher they are not. Steiner locks in a figure four leg lock, and God… err. I mean, Ric Flair interferes, and he rakes Steiner’s eyes. Steiner nails Flair, and Triple H nails Steiner off the apron onto steel steps. “You Screwed Bret!” chants being chanted at Earl Hebner. Couldn’t that also be directed somewhat to Triple H? Sad thing is Hebner was actually selling shirts at a recent TNA event I attended saying “Damn Right I Did!” This would have worked in 1998. “Boring” chants being echoed in Montreal, and I can’t blame them. The fans are booing the hell out of Scott Steiner. He could sing “O’ Canada,” and I doubt the fans would enjoy that. Triple H just pushed Hebner, and the crowd is giving him an ovation for it. God, this is a mess. They botched a move, and this is just sad. Sad because this is actually a mile better than the crapfest at Royal Rumble 2003. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck enough to land on a certain list of mine. God, this match has just lost all sorts of heat and cohesion now. Flair is the best thing about this: “NO! NO! NO!” as Steiner nails a Samoan Drop from the middle rope on Triple H. Flair pulls Steiner off Triple H. Steiner Recliner on Triple H as Flair calls for Orton and Batista. Steiner just can’t punch effectively. It looks too fake for its own good. Hebner throws Evolution from ringside, but Triple H NAILS Steiner with the World Heavyweight Championship. Steiner still kicks out, and this abortion is allowed to go forward! Triple H pedigrees Steiner, and another victim is written on the Triple H World Heavyweight Championship Tour of 2003.

Match Rating: [YOUTUBE]<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1ytCEuuW2_A&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1ytCEuuW2_A&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]

Back to the show&#8230;

Bischoff is walking past several superstars who have joined together to watch Bischoff get his ass kicked by a Texas Rattlesnake!

The AT&T Asskicking Grudge Match
Austin vs. Bischoff

This is a free advertisement for AT&T since it was over the phone where Bischoff fired Steve Austin. If you haven&#8217;t had the chance to hear Austin&#8217;s side of the story from WCW, this does it more justice than I ever could:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj-2G-9y0bI

J.R. comes out to the ring and joins the announce position to witness the asskicking himself. &#8220;I&#8217;m Back&#8221; hits the speakers, and Bischoff walks to the ring looking like a lamb led to slaughter. Bischoff begs Austin to do the right thing and let him forfeit. Austin comes out and gets a AMAZING ovation! &#8220;Stone Cold is here, and by God, he came to whip another man&#8217;s ass!!!&#8221;- Jim Ross, further proving how great he is. Bischoff continues to plead as Austin circles the ring like a ravenous dog looking at a cat in its yard. Austin pounces on Bischoff, and the match is on! Austin is dressed in a vest and short jeans just to give you an idea of how seriously he takes Bischoff&#8217;s challenge to him. Mud-hole stomps in the corner by Austin. Austin takes Bischoff&#8217;s martial arts gloves off. He rams Bischoff into another turnbuckle, and he continues to mud-hole stomp him there. Austin flips off the referee. Bischoff rakes Austin&#8217;s eyes and nails Austin with a kick. Austin no-sells to the point of smiling. He chases Bischoff to the outside and starts chopping hip. Austin throws beer in Bischoff&#8217;s face. He&#8217;s just having his way with Bischoff. Austin sets it up, and he nails Bischoff with the STONE COLD STUNNER! But Bischoff kicks out twice! Ok, Austin pulls Bischoff&#8217;s arm up. Austin picks up Bischoff, and he nails him with another STONE COLD STUNNER! One, two, and Bischoff gets his arm up again &#8220;miraculously!&#8221; Austin sets up Bischoff again with a double bird, and he DRILLS Bischoff with a STONE COLD STUNNER!!!! He finally pins Bischoff for the 3. J.R. is flipping out. STONE COLD, STONE COLD, STONE COLD!!!!! Austin hits the turnbuckles and salutes the crowd. The announcers are even standing up. Austin looks around at the crowd, which is going absolutely nuts. This is amazing. Austin stuns Bischoff again just for the hell of it!!! J.R. looks like he&#8217;s having a seizure!!! &#8220;He just whipped his ass like a government mule!&#8221; Austin runs back into the ring and salutes the crowd one more time!!!

Match Rating: *** (for overall value of match); ***** (for segment&#8217;s entertainment value/crowd reaction). God, if you haven&#8217;t seen this match/segment, you need to watch it sometime. The crowd was going absolutely insane the entire time. Bischoff sold every bit of Austin&#8217;s offense, and J.R.&#8217;s announcing just puts the entire experience over the top for me.

The Rematch
The Rock vs. Hollywood Hulk Hogan

The crowd gives Rock a loud reaction, but they go absolutely insane for the sounds of &#8220;Voodoo Child&#8221; as Hollywood Hulk Hogan makes his entrance. Thunderous &#8220;Hogan&#8221; chants after the music dies down. The Rock is playing the heel role to classic intensity here. He&#8217;s mouthing off Hogan and the fans. Rock plays chicken, staying out of the ring away from Hogan. Hogan has enough and goes after Rock! Rock gets in the ring and goes to work on Hogan. Sylvain Grenier is the referee, by the way. You could tell as he&#8217;s easily 100lbs heavier than the run-of-the-mill referee Hogan hits Rock with 10 turnbuckle head shots. Hogan does the spit punch to The Rock. Rock hangs Hogan on the top rope, and he goes back in, looking for the Rock Bottom. He nails it. Hogan kicks out at 2. No hulk up, yet. Rock puts on Hogan&#8217;s bandana! Oh, dear Christ! He pulls Hogan&#8217;s belt off and starts whipping Hogan&#8217;s back with it. Rock looks ridiculous with this attire. Hogan gets the belt and whips Rock&#8217;s back with it. The belt shots are LOUD! Rock nails a DDT and nips up to smell the atmosphere from the crowd. Rock locks in a Sharpshooter in Montreal on Hogan. Rock&#8217;s Sharpshooters always looked so weak and cheap compared to the real thing. Hogan gets counted down to two before powering out of the move. The Rock catches Hogan on the outside with a clothesline. This reminds me of the Tortoise vs. The Hare in a weird way. Rock tries to nail Hogan with a chair, but he misses. Hogan gets the chair, but Grenier refuses to let Hogan use it. Rock nails the low blow on Hogan. Rock is playing to the crowd so well in this match. Spinebuster by The Rock. People&#8217;s Elbow by The Rock times 2. Hogan powers out at 2, and he hulks up! Hogan no sells Rock&#8217;s offense, and he gives Rock the finger pointing. Rock mocks Hogan after this, but Hogan nails the three punches, the big boot, and the leg drop! It&#8217;s over! One, two, and&#8230; the lights go out! The referee seems knocked out along with The Rock. Vince McMahon comes out with his arms out like &#8220;What happened?&#8221; Hogan sees McMahon and motions to the crowd what he believes McMahon did. The referee gives The Rock the steel chair, and he decimates Hogan with it over the skull! Hogan is bleeding. The Rock nails The Rock Bottom, and the referee miraculously recovers to count the three. Montreal Screwjob 2 has just happened.

After the match, McMahon removes his jacket and shirt to reveal &#8220;Whatcha gonna do?&#8221; with a white &#8220;Nothing&#8221; across. McMahon turns around to show &#8220;Brother&#8221; and &#8220;Sucks&#8221; underneath. He proceeds to rip his shirt off, and he throws the shirt on Hogan as &#8220;No Chance in Hell&#8221; rings in the arena.

Match Rating: ***- This was nowhere near as good as the original Hogan-Rock match, and it should not be confused with that match. However, it was still worth the while to have these two go at it again, if merely just to see it. The Rock was at his absolute best as a heel and frankly stole the show from Hogan. Meanwhile, the Montreal Screwjob 2 gimmick wasn&#8217;t completely unexpected, and Vince had revisited this event a few times himself during the last few years that it was stale. The whole scenario involving McMahon and Hogan however did masterfully bridge The Rock-Hogan match into the McMahon vs. Hogan match at WrestleMania XIX. This time, Hogan had the match won and was robbed of his glory over The Rock. McMahon had taken Hogan&#8217;s pride in one swift action, allowing for the emotional level of the impending WrestleMania match to be just that much higher.

PPV Rating: ***1/2. No Way Out 2003 is a great overall PPV despite the big dud that was Steiner vs. Triple H. The Rock and Hogan II delivered more or less, Austin vs. Bischoff got a memorable crowd reaction, and the undercard matches delivered and helped to keep the crowd&#8217;s momentum going until the final few matches. Recommended.

The Legacy of No Way Out 2003: Ok. Harkening back to the beginning, did No Way Out 2003 build up to WrestleMania? Somewhat. The Jericho-HBK feud didn&#8217;t really escalate on this night, but the interference didn&#8217;t hurt the build at all for the match. The WWE Tag Team Championship match did nothing to build towards WrestleMania in hindsight, mostly because the Tag Team Championship match was kept off of the main WrestleMania XIX show. The Crusierweight Championship match served as a way to get the title on Matt Hardy and get him in a position to feud with Rey Mysterio over the championship. Undertaker&#8217;s match with Big Show helped to build towards a match at WrestleMania, mostly due to the interference angle that happened. The handicap match between Team Angle and Lesnar/Benoit built towards the WrestleMania main event of Lesnar and Angle. The only other match that had a direct connection to WrestleMania was the Hogan-Rock II match, which helped to put Hogan-McMahon together at WrestleMania.

Triple H&#8217;s next title defense would be against Booker T, who won a battle royal the night after No Way Out. Triple H would go on to defeat Booker T in a decent match at WrestleMania XIX. Triple H would go on to face multiple men in his continued conquest of Raw, defeating the likes of Kevin Nash, Kane, and an Elimination Chamber filled with Randy Orton, Kevin Nash, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, and Bill Goldberg.

Stone Cold Steve Austin&#8217;s return caused a lot of chaos within Raw. For one, The Rock switched to Monday Night Raw from Smackdown to confront Stone Cold Steve Austin. Austin and Rock had a confrontation the next week where Austin vs. Rock was signed for WrestleMania XIX. Austin and Rock&#8217;s match at WrestleMania XIX was damn entertaining, and The Rock finally prevailed and beat Stone Cold at WrestleMania in what would prove to be Austin&#8217;s last match. The next night, Eric Bischoff fired Stone Cold Steve Austin. However, Bischoff got so overconfident and tyrannical that he caught the ire of the corporate offices of WWE. Linda McMahon appeared on Raw and made the announcement that Bischoff would have to share General Manager duties with&#8230; Stone Cold Steve Austin. For the better part of the year, the Bischoff-Austin feud captivated Raw as both men tried to seize power from the other.

The next PPV Review will be WWE Night of Champions 2008, headlined by John Cena versus Triple H II.
_ _ _ _ _ _
On the suggestion of one of my fellow disciples, the No Stars Dunce Club of Wrestling will now be hereafter known as the &#8220;Don&#8217;t Try This at Home&#8221; list, complete with its own advertisement.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7I-YI_fiRU

&#8220;Don&#8217;t Try This at Home&#8221;
- Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards, No Way Out 2001
- The Nasty Boys vs. Team 3D, Against All Odds 2010
- Kane vs. Triple H, WrestleMania XV
- Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man, WrestleMania XV
- Scott Steiner vs. Triple H, No Way Out 2003

 

[DiscipleofWrestling]

Hey, fellow Disciples. Quick change of plans. I previously planned to do a review on Night of Champions 2008. However, KB beat me to it, and to be honest, everything that he said in there was more or less what I was going to say in my review. So, I seriously recommend checking that one out if you want a thorough and good review of the event. So, instead, on A Disciple&#8217;s PPV Review Altar, we will be hitting a BIG << button and traveling back to the year 1992 for the WWF Royal Rumble.

WWF Royal Rumble 1992

*****- CLASSIC
****- GREAT
***- GOOD
**- Decent
*- Bad
No Stars= Stinks

Before I do the usual build up, this review will not be a typical review of the event where I break down what happened. If you&#8217;ve seen the event, you know what happened. If you haven&#8217;t, the Rumble match is on YouTube. So, take the time and watch it. Believe me, you&#8217;ll enjoy it. This review will try to focus more on the entertainment aspect of what worked and what didn&#8217;t.

The beginning of 1992 was a huge time in the history of the World Wrestling Federation. At this time, Ric Flair had only been with the company for a few months after jumping from World Championship Wrestling. He went around proclaiming to be the &#8220;REAL&#8221; World&#8217;s Heavyweight Champion, going so far as to actually wear his championship belt to the ring. While doing this, he had gotten on bad terms with multiple WWF Superstars, including Rowdy Roddy Piper and then WWF Champion Hulk Hogan. At Survivor Series, Flair went so far as to interfere in Hogan&#8217;s match, costing him the WWF Championship against The Undertaker. Undertaker would hold the title for only a few days until Hogan won the rematch at This Tuesday in Texas, a match filled with more interference from Ric Flair despite President Jack Tunney&#8217;s personal supervision of the rematch. Hogan was stripped of his WWF Championship due to the chaos that had happened in the previous matches and for the first time ever (and as of this typing, the only time), the WWF Championship was put on the line in the 30-man, over-the-top-rope Royal Rumble. Yes, this means wrestlers like Skinner, Warlord, and Haku had as equal a shot at becoming WWF Champion as Hogan, Savage, Flair, Undertaker, Piper, Sid, Roberts, DiBiase, British Bulldog, Sgt. Slaughter, and others.

In fact, in a match filled with the best of the best out of the company at the time, seemingly the only name missing was Bret &#8220;The Hitman&#8221; Hart. Hart had been Intercontinental Champion for several months until losing his championship against The Mountie at a house show only days before the Royal Rumble event. The Mountie would continue to pummel Hart after the match was over until help came to the ring. The Mountie&#8217;s first defense would be against the man who came to Bret Hart&#8217;s aid: &#8220;Rowdy&#8221; Roddy Piper. Piper was already booked for the Royal Rumble match as well. So, for the first time that I can remember, a wrestler would wrestle in two title matches in one night with a possibility of winning two championships.

The announcers for this PPV were the classic pairing of legendary wrestler Gorilla Monsoon and legendary manager Bobby &#8220;The Weas..&#8221; err&#8230; &#8220;The Brain&#8221; Heenan. For those of you who don&#8217;t know, Heenan was part of the management team surrounding Ric Flair. So, Heenan had a lot invested in the outcome of the Royal Rumble match. This made for some EXCELLENT commentary throughout the night.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Tag Team Match
The Orient Express (w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. The New Foundation (Jim Neidhart and Owen Hart)

I have to give the WWE dub machine credit where credit is due. Due to the fact that they&#8217;ve completely dubbed over The Orient Express&#8217;s original theme, they had to redo the Fink&#8217;s ring announcement as well. One problem was that Fink was on the camera during this introduction. However, to WWE&#8217;s credit, they did a damn good job of dubbing Fink&#8217;s new introduction over the old introduction with a near perfect sync in dialect and mouth movement. That&#8217;s what separates WWE&#8217;s production from all of the rest. Very good opening match. It isn&#8217;t nearly as good as the Rockers- Orient Express match from the 1991 Rumble event, but it would be considered a great tag-team match if it were done today.

This works in giving Owen Hart some TV time as I believe he was just now going under the name Owen Hart and had just recently rejoined the WWF after a short stint as The Blue Blazer. The Orient Express didn&#8217;t exactly have much exposure on a PPV format themselves. This would be their 2nd and final PPV appearance together in WWF. Fact: This incarnation of The Orient Express was also known as Badd Company in the AWA, only in this WWF incarnation as the &#8220;New&#8221; Orient Express, Paul Diamond is wearing a mask and known as Kato. Mr. Fuji was a great generic heel manager. He&#8217;s still wearing the &#8220;Odd Job&#8221; outfit from Goldfinger that Harold Sakata wore. Looking at Jim &#8220;The Anvil&#8221; Neidhart, I think it&#8217;s fair to say that Natalya takes after her mother in looks.

Match Rating: **1/2. Again, a very solid if unspectacular tag team match. The match slowly builds as there isn&#8217;t a need on either team to rush things through. Still, it&#8217;s not a reason to get this event.

Lord Alfred Hayes is telling people what happened at the house show a couple days ago when Bret Hart lost the Intercontinental Championship to The Mountie. Why did Lord Alfred Hayes have a job? Can someone answer this for me? I really never saw any real use for him. That&#8217;s just me though.

The Mountie says he is going to take Piper&#8217;s manhood. Piper appropriately questions Mountie&#8217;s motives.

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Intercontinental Championship
The Mountie (w/Jimmy Hart) (champion) vs. &#8220;Rowdy&#8221; Roddy Piper

Oh dear God. Why does The Mountie have a title without the one-eyed wrestler as his tag team partner? Something tells me this won&#8217;t last long. Piper and Mountie pretty much have a brawl all over the place which is what one should come to expect from a &#8220;Hot Rod&#8221; match. Piper could definitely wrestle, but more times than not, Piper relied a lot on his brawling technique in the ring. There really seemed to be no rhythm to this match at all. It definitely looks like something that was pulled off at the last second. Piper puts Mountie in the sleeper hold and wins via the three drops of the arm. Post-match: Piper hits Mountie with his own shock stick. The referee held Jimmy Hart back for some reason during all of this.

Match Rating: **. All I can say is thank god it was short. This was obviously just an excuse to get the belt off of The Mountie in a quick and timely fashion. Again, Piper helps make the match watchable since he always had a lot of charisma. Even in his later years and guest spots in WWE, he always had enough charisma to make me pay attention to whatever crazy shtick he was up to. Plus, this actually got a championship for Rowdy Piper. So, I can&#8217;t complain. This would lead to an exceptional WrestleMania match between Piper and Bret Hart for the Intercontinental Championship.

Tag Team Match
The Beverly Brothers (w/The Genius) vs. The Bushwackers (w/ Jamison)

Good God, why do I have an idea I&#8217;m going to HATE this match with a vengeance? Jamison looks like the missing Dudley brother. Did someone ever get a tetanus shot for getting licked by The Bushwhackers? This proves WWE doesn&#8217;t care about their wrestlers&#8217; health: The Bushwhackers literally have no teeth left, not that a dentist would want to be near that B.O. As for the Genius, he&#8217;s that other Poffo brother not named Savage. The Genius is dressed like he&#8217;s a faculty member at a college graduation. Oh, brother. And he can write poems. To quote another 90&#8217;s character, The Church Lady, &#8220;Well, isn&#8217;t that special?&#8221;

If you want to put The Bushwhackers Greatest Matches on a DVD, go buy a pack of blank DVD+Rs at Wal-Mart. Then just write on one of them &#8220;Bushwhackers&#8217; Greatest Matches.&#8221; And use it as a coaster. Because that&#8217;s exactly the truth of it. I get the fact that they were a purely comedic act. PPV time is dying in this match, and there is no excuse for any promotion to do this on a supposedly big PPV. Yeah, this match sucks, and there&#8217;s only one good reaction to this type of match.

Match Rating: [YOUTUBE]<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/rI6-JzxV-_M&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/rI6-JzxV-_M&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]

No stars. Moving On.

The Legion of Doom are being interviewed and if you&#8217;ve seen one of them, you&#8217;ve seen all of them. That&#8217;s not necessarily a bad thing because no one does a generic bully promo quite like the Road Warriors. No WHAT A RUSH? What the hell?!

WWF Tag Team Championship
The Legion of Doom (champions) vs. The Natural Disasters (w/ Jimmy Hart)

Damn, is this attack of the killer tag teams tonight? I&#8217;m not going to complain though as I do miss actual tag team wrestling on a WWF/E program. Thankfully, it looks like WWE might be doing something to rectify that problem. Jimmy Hart is working overtime again tonight. This is back in the day where most managers had a long list of clients they managed to the ring. I love the pan shot of the crowd they do as L.O.D. and Natural Disasters are in the ring, looking over the entire arena. Look at today&#8217;s PPV layout compared to then. All four sides of the arena are being used at this event in Albany, NY. I personally hate the big screens being used all of the time and miss these simpler entrances. This would be cool for a nostalgic feel for a PPV once in a while.

This is one of the rare times the L.O.D./Road Warriors have been outweighed to this degree. Even as big as Typhoon and Earthquake are, the Road Warriors still look huge. I actually like this match as it helps put the L.O.D. in a sympathetic position as the underdog and makes the Natural Disasters seem like an overpowering tandem. This is truly the &#8220;unstoppable force meeting the immovable object.&#8221; I&#8217;m not saying this is a great tag team match, but it is a pretty solid exhibition, even with the somewhat screw job countout ending. Later on, Hart actually engineered The Natural Disasters out of their rematch and placed Money Inc. in their place, setting up their tag team title run.

A funny factoid is that the Natural Disasters would end up winning WrestleMania 8&#8217;s match against Money Inc. in the same fashion as they won this match: a countout.

Match Rating: **1/2. This was an entertaining tag team match as usually anything involving L.O.D. tends to be. The Natural Disasters also held up their end of the bargain.

The Disasters threaten lawsuits if they don&#8217;t get their tag team championship match. Jimmy Hart is urging them on, the devil he was. Heenan apparently has a few good lawyers and is willing to give some numbers to Jimmy Hart. Heel managers have to stick together.

Piper discusses the fact that he can win two championships in one night. Piper goes on to invoke President Bush (41) and Martin Luther King in his promo. Only Piper could bridge those two for a wrestling promo. He dedicates this next match to his son, Colt.

Sean Mooney is in the back supposedly and runs into Shawn Michaels who was just a few weeks removed from breaking up with Marty Jannetty on The Barber Shop. This is the emergence of The Heartbreak Kid as a solo star. It&#8217;s truly great to see how far he came in his career from this point on, and it&#8217;s quite frankly shocking how he&#8217;s essentially kept the same character for all of these years from the beginning of his singles career.

Ric Flair tells Alfred Hayes in a Coliseum Home Video exclusive that he pulled #3, but that he doesn&#8217;t care. He will still walk out World Wrestling Federation champion. Here are the other superstars&#8217; thoughts on winning the Royal Rumble:

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Personal Thought: They need to bring these back because it helps tell the story better. We know everyone wants to win the Royal Rumble, of course. Still, this just helps tell the stories that much more and gives the motivations of each wrestler for being in the match.

The Royal Rumble Match

Jack Tunney comes into the ring and does the usual &#8220;may the best man win&#8221; shtick.

Ok, if you aren&#8217;t amped up enough for this match, here are some of the wrestlers that competed in this Royal Rumble:

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If you want to watch the whole Royal Rumble, you can watch it on YouTube. Here&#8217;s a link in case you want to get started: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rxK-RYV0iw

This might be the perfect Royal Rumble. You look at the men who were involved in this and it is a who&#8217;s who of professional wrestling, full of current and sure-to-be-future Hall of Famers: Bulldog, DiBiase, Flair, Michaels, Santana, von Erich, Valentine, Boss Man, Piper, Roberts, Duggan, Snuka, Undertaker, Savage, Sheik (as Col. Mustafa), Martel, Hogan, Slaughter, and Sid among others. Each of these wrestlers pulled their weight into making this Rumble memorable, even DiBIase who only worked a minute and a half in the match.

Credit should also be given to Heenan and Monsoon for providing classic commentary during the duration of this match. Their back and forth jabbing was classic. Here&#8217;s a sample of some of their work (sorry if it&#8217;s not word for word):

Flair enters at #3 and at multiple times in the Rumble:
Monsoon: &#8220;No one has entered at 1-5 and has been there at the end.&#8221;
Heenan: &#8220;Will you shut up!!!&#8221;

Heenan: &#8220;That&#8217;s why they call him &#8216;The Barbarian.&#8217; He&#8217;s not a hair dresser on his night off.&#8221;

Heenan: &#8220;Thank you Roddy. It&#8217;s a kilt. It&#8217;s not a skirt. It&#8217;s a kilt.&#8221;
(Piper nails Flair)
Heenan: &#8220;Why you no good freak! You skirt wearing freak. It&#8217;s not a kilt. It&#8217;s a skirt!&#8221;

Match Rating: *****. This was absolutely the quintessential Royal Rumble match in history. There are only a handful of Royal Rumbles in history that have been able to even be mentioned in the same breath as this match in my opinion. This had so much drama and great production that it is hard to consider this anything but an absolute classic. Of Flair&#8217;s career, I still consider this to be his greatest performance. He came up north to a promotion he wasn&#8217;t built at, and he proved to the world he belonged by busting his ass for nearly an hour working with the top tier wrestlers that promotion had to offer. Flair&#8217;s performance would only be passed by a few other men in terms of time in the Rumble, but one could argue his performance was just that much better because of the era and possible other ways the match could have ended.

This says it all:
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PPV Rating: **1/2. I know that the PPV had a classic Royal Rumble. But the undercard was just a little underwhelming to be honest. The only undercard match with any long-term relevance was the Roddy Piper- Mountie match. Other than that, the Royal Rumble was the only real reason to buy this PPV. If you already have a copy of the Royal Rumble match from the Ulitmate Ric Flair Collection DVD, you won&#8217;t need to shell any money for this PPV. If you don&#8217;t, I mildly suggest finding a Royal Rumble 1992 DVD if you don&#8217;t have or want to buy the Flair DVD.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7I-YI_fiRU

&#8220;Don&#8217;t Try This at Home&#8221;
- Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards, No Way Out 2001
- The Nasty Boys vs. Team 3D, Against All Odds 2010
- Kane vs. Triple H, WrestleMania XV
- Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man, WrestleMania XV
- Scott Steiner vs. Triple H, No Way Out 2003
- The Bushwhackers vs. The Beverly Brothers, Royal Rumble 1992

True Classics
Six Person Intergender Hardcore Match- ECW One Night Stand 2006
1992 Royal Rumble Match

The next event that will be reviewed will be WWE Armageddon 2006, featuring an Inferno Match, a Last Ride Match, a Ladder Match, and two world champions as tag team partners. The review should be up by the end of the month or beginning of August.

See you next time, fellow wrestling disciples.

 

[DiscipleofWrestling]

WWE Armageddon 2006

*****- CLASSIC
****- GREAT
***- GOOD
**- Decent
*- Bad
No Stars= Don't Try This At Home

The end of 2006 was a mixed bag creatively for WWE. On Raw, WWE’s main storyline seemed to revolve around John Cena vs. Kevin Federline in what arguably could be the stupidest and most pointless celebrity vs. wrestler match in history. In addition, D-Generation X wore out its welcome like a straightedge zealot at a bar, and Raw itself became stale and monotonous. On ECW, everything was falling apart. Their single-brand PPV, December to Dismember, crashed and burned in a creative and executive fashion which left a show ending 40 minutes early and saw Paul Heyman quit the company.

However, if there was a bright side to the WWE’s perils, it was Friday Night Smackdown. Smackdown had a couple good feuds going on. The Undertaker and Mr. Kennedy feuded for a couple months. And unfortunately for the Undertaker, Kennedy would always find a way to win their one on one matches. Kennedy would continue to unabashedly brag about beating and bloodying the Undertaker at every opportunity. Smackdown General Manager Theodore Long made the match at Armageddon that would settle the score between the two wrestlers: Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy in a Last Ride Match. Essentially, this worked the same as an ambulance, stretcher, or casket match in which you throw your opponent into an object and move them out of the arena. The object of choice in this match would be the dreaded hearse. A similar feud was also brewing between Kane and MVP. MVP always found a way to run away from or beat Kane in their one on one matches on Smackdown, but at Armageddon, Kane would get his chance at the rookie MVP in his specialty (and a match which hadn’t been seen in more than seven years): an Inferno Match. This meant that one man would have to set the other one on fire.

Plus, there had been rumors on the internet that the WWE was planning on doing something “special” for the Armageddon PPV buyers, considering the train-wreck that the December to Dismember PPV was publicly. In addition, Batista would continue his feud with King Booker and his court as Booker T and Finlay would team up to face Batista and a visiting John Cena in a match where both world champions would be tag team partners.

On to the show….

We have ***Cole and JBL calling the show tonight. Michael Cole is still useless. JBL puts over the Inferno Match with his first few sentences, saying someone is going to burn. Obvious statement #1. Tony Chimel is in the middle of the ring, surrounded by flames giving the ring introductions for this first match…

INFERNO MATCH
Kane vs. MVP

This is in the good ol’ days when MVP was actually looking forward to the best days of his career instead of looking back at them. What 4 years and a brand switch will do to a wrestler’s career. Cole and JBL continue to put over the Inferno Match and introduce a highlight video of the MVP-Kane feud. The Inferno Match has a lot of advantages and disadvantages in my opinion. The advantage is that this provides a unique look to the wrestling product as the pyro-technicians do a great job building up the flames at the opportune moments. Plus, it gives the match a more gladiatorial appeal to it as opposed to an athletic exhibition or performance. However, it also hinders a wrestler’s movements with the ropes since one should in theory be hesitant to use the ropes when the fire lies only inches away.

MVP plays most of the match as the coward while Kane plays the all too willing executor of pain and torture. MVP and Kane hit several signature maneuvers. What’s really putting this over is JBL’s commentary saying how irresponsible Teddy Long is for letting this match happen in addition to building Kane as a monster and MVP as “the victim” as only a heel commentator can. MVP is pushed over the top to the outside by Kane, and Kane follows suit with a top rope clothesline to the outside onto MVP. MVP runs underneath the ring while Kane smiles. He pulls MVP out and proceeds to back MVP into the flame. The sad thing is while the spot looks cool, it also comes off completely fake as MVP clearly had some sort of gel or liquid on his back after crawling under the ring. That's the nature of the beast though. No one wants to see anyone REALLY set on fire. So, you get what you get.

Match Rating: **. The match didn’t outlive its usefulness. It’s so hard to effectively pull off this type of a match. This really wasn’t as entertaining as it could have been though. If you want to watch a classic Inferno Match, check out Undertaker vs. Kane from 1998.

Teddy Long is in the Diva’s locker room and announces that Santa Claus is there. Teddy announces that there will be a Naughty or Nice Lingerie contest. JBL can’t stop talking about MVP being burned alive and that Teddy Long deserves to be fired, arrested, and convicted for allowing the match to happen.

Tag Team Championship Match
Paul London and Brian Kendrick (champions) vs. William Regal and Dave Taylor

Wait a second. Teddy Long comes out and says he Is in the “Christmas Spirit.” He decides that this will be A LADDER MATCH. He claims to be the gift that keeps on giving. And he’s added two more teams to the match…

MNM (MERCURY, NITRO, with Melina) come out to the ring, and someone’s about to lose face over this match if you get my bad joke. And The Hardys come out next, and the entertainment level of this PPV just shot up about four or five fold. So, the new match is…

Tag Team Ladder Championship Match
Paul London and Brian Kendrick (champions) vs. William Regal and Dave Taylor vs. MNM vs. The Hardys

Again, this match has been so analyzed, so talked about, I don’t feel the need to do a lot of analyzing and wasting your and my time typing. Here’s the match. Enjoy.

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[YOUTUBE]<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/WxzRyXxQGgc&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/WxzRyXxQGgc&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]

[YOUTUBE]<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/48UUyw8NGEA&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/48UUyw8NGEA&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]

I know this match is extremely popular with a lot of people, but I’m honestly not that big of a fan of this match. This was too much of a cluster**** and has no real rhythm or sense about it until the final few minutes. Don’t get me wrong. It was a great match but not a classic ladder match. Anyone that mentions this in the same breath as the first four TLCs or the WrestleMania 2000 or No Mercy 1999 ladder matches is stretching more strenuously than Paris Hilton’s legs. Regal and Taylor were just there and never had a chance of winning the match. Their involvement really contributed nothing while MNM, Hardyz, and London/Kendrick were playing Spots and Ladders. This didn’t have any real drama with me as the ending was never really in doubt. MNM and The Hardyz weren’t about to become tag team champions as each team had members on opposite brands, Regal and Taylor weren’t about to beat these fools in a ladder match, and Kendrick and London hadn’t had a truly stand out tag team championship match to bolster their reign. I’m not taking anything away from what they did on this night. All of the men involved (even Regal and Taylor) put their bodies on the line in an incredible display of athleticism. But on the pecking order of ladder matches, this may not even crack my top ten. If I remember anything about this match, it was the injury that Joey Mercury injured which was downright scary.

Match Rating: ****. Great match but not the greatest ladder match ever as has been suggested. Again, I respect anyone else’s opinion on this match, but in my opinion, this wasn’t the gift from God of a match as people have made it out to be.

Krystal Marshall is looking at herself in a mirror. Why do I find this not hard to imagine?

The Miz vs. The Boogeyman

Now, he’s awesome. Back then, he looked like a complete dork. The Miz was playing off of his Reality Check gimmick. He cuts a pretty decent promo, but he has gotten worlds better. Also, I’m glad “Hoo RAH!!” has never been uttered by The Miz in the last couple years. The Boogeyman would have fit in the 1995 era with Mantaur, Aldo Montoya, and The Goon. God, this is a pretty bad match. Miz looks really green in this match. But then again, look at his co-worker in this match. Miz gets beaten and wormed. Miz has done so much better ever since this run on Smackdown. Mark one more up for the “Don’t Try This At Home” List. Because this match featured The Miz, and it was far from awesome.

Match Rating: No Stars. [YOUTUBE]<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dWamxEDcqiQ&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dWamxEDcqiQ&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]

Chavo dedicates this next match to Vickie Guerrero, who’s wearing a neck brace. (I believe this is the first of many “injuries” she feigned.) She accuses Benoit of not being a real man and promises Benoit will lose the championship and get what’s coming to him.

United States Championship
Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero (with Vickie Guerrero)

This storyline is supposedly about Chris Benoit “assaulting” Vickie Guerrero and intimidating her. Even though they were clearly making Vickie look like a b*tch in this, this is obviously an uncomfortable storyline and match to watch given what would happen in six months’ time. It’s nice to see Chavo actually treated like an actual wrestler and not a sideshow attraction losing to a “leprechaun” 125 times a year. Benoit was Benoit: he wrestled impressively on every night. But it’s nice to see Chavo given a chance to perform a wrestling match and not just as comic relief. Solid match between the two wrestlers. The ending is just disturbing though as Benoit actually plays around like he’s going to put the Sharpshooter on Vickie Guerrero. On an entertainment level before the Benoit situation, this would have been a good match. After the Benoit situation, this is just downright eerie.

Match Rating: ***. Again, another solid match from Chris Benoit and a great performance from Chavo Guerrero. Again, the storyline is “post July 2007” disgusting.

Cruiserweight Championship
Gregory Helms (champion) vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

It’s the former member of 3 Count vs. the former member of the Yung Dragons. This match really didn’t click for whatever reason. Again, they seemed like they were just going through the motions somewhat. JBL is trying to preach the match to high heavens. Yet, there’s a reason why the match was being called “boring” by the fans at the arena. No one took the match seriously, and the match just wasn’t that good. However, I was impressed by some of the moves hit during the match.

Match Rating: **. It wasn’t the most impressive Cruiserweight match I’ve ever seen nor was it the most entertaining. But Helms and Wang Yang tried to make a good match. They both seemed to have an off night.

Last Ride Match
Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy

Kennedy comes out and does his usual shtick, putting over the fact that he has beat Undertaker several times before. Undertaker arrives and does his classic entrance. As I mentioned earlier, this is essentially a casket match on wheels. Undertaker spends the first seven or eight minutes mostly beating the crap out of Kennedy. Kennedy gets Undertaker in the hearse after a sleeper hold (of all things), but Undertaker is waiting for him in the driver’s seat. Undertaker and Kennedy do a hell of a spot where Undertaker is thrown off a platform about fifteen feet high. Whatever was waiting down for Undertaker, the throw was very impressive and made a great visual. Usually, Taker’s on the other end of that situation as the thrower. Cool video is shown with Kennedy trying to drive Undertaker out of the arena to win the match when Undertaker sits up so he can be seen over Kennedy’s shoulder. The match is pretty good, but again, it doesn’t break the barrier of classic or even greatness. It is solid and deserving of a three star rating, but that’s as far as it goes.

Match Rating: ***. Good match, but it was missing a few more things to put the match over the top into greatness.

Booker and Finlay talk strategy and trusting one another.

Naughty or Nice Lingerie Contest

Santa Claus is coming down to the ring. God, I hate WWE’s December PPVs from Smackdown. They all had some crappy Santa gimmick going on at the show. Someone in the crowd yelled “You Suck!” God, I’m glad this isn’t happening today. Now, John Cena would tag with Santa, let Santa get the pin, and bring in some fans to sit on Santa’s lap after the match. The divas come out and unveil their lingerie. You’ve seen one of these contests, you’ve seen them all. Oh dear God. Santa’s Big Dick Johnson. And you know what he’s doing. And someone finds this entertaining?

World Champions vs. The King’s Court
Batista and John Cena vs. King Booker and Finlay

“All Hail King Booker! All Hail King Booker! All Hail King Booker!” Sharmell proclaims as Booker makes his entrance. This is an example of a man taking another crappy gimmick and making gold out of it. King BOOK-AH was hilarious as he was annoying. Booker continued to use the accent in TNA to hilarious levels.

There was nothing really remarkable about this match. It felt like something I would expect on Smackdown instead of something I would actually pay for on PPV. Hornswoggle Is in this match for about two seconds. This felt like everyone involved was just running through the motions. Nothing about the match screams PPV main event. Cena’s involvement is even more suspect since he’s from the other show. Batista wins with the Batista Bomb for his team in an unremarkable and disappointing match.

Match Rating: *1/2. The match just didn’t do much for me as a wrestling fan now or then. The match was just there and never should have been in the main event slot on a PPV with as many other options as it had.

PPV Rating: **1/2. The problem with this PPV is that without the surprise Ladder Match, this show wouldn't have been much. Take the Ladder Match out of this PPV. What you would have is a lackluster main event, a two good matches in Undertaker-Kennedy and Benoit-Chavo, two decent matches in Kane-MVP and Yang-Helms, a Big Dick Johnson sketch, and a Boogeyman match. In other words, this PPV would have been a major throwaway night. But then, you add the Ladder Match to this and the PPV isn’t such a throwaway as it would have been. As I’ve said about TNA in the past, I don’t like surprises. If you are trying to sell a PPV based on a surprise, you are only going to screw the fans and yourself over in the long run. But this was the type of surprise that benefits all involved: the company and the fans. While I don’t bow down and worship this match as the greatest ladder match ever, I do tip my bottle of Gatorade towards the effort of all the men involved who helped make this spontaneous ladder match work as well as it did.

_ _ _ _

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7I-YI_fiRU

“Don’t Try This at Home”
- Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards, No Way Out 2001
- The Nasty Boys vs. Team 3D, Against All Odds 2010
- Kane vs. Triple H, WrestleMania XV
- Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man, WrestleMania XV
- Scott Steiner vs. Triple H, No Way Out 2003
- The Bushwhackers vs. The Beverly Brothers, Royal Rumble 1992
- The Miz vs. The Boogeyman- Armageddon 2006

True Classics
Six Person Intergender Hardcore Match- ECW One Night Stand 2006
1992 Royal Rumble Match

Next time on A Disciple’s PPV Review Altar, we hit another HUGE << button and skip all the way back in time to a day when the WWF was still the WWF, tag teams were an important part to the roster, and talking smack about someone’s mother could lead to a long running feud. That’s right: we’re going back to 1991 as the next review will focus on…

WrestleMania VII. This was an epic WWF PPV event featuring Hulk Hogan challenging Sgt. Slaughter, The Ultimate Warrior vs. Macho Man Randy Savage in a Retirement Match, tag team match appearances by The Rockers, The Hart Foundation, The Nasty Boys (when they actually still could wrestle), and The Legion of Doom, and the beginning of a certain streak that refuses to die to this very day.

This review will be up sometime in the middle of August.

See you next time, fellow wrestling disciples.

 

[DiscipleofWrestling]

WWF WrestleMania VII

*****- CLASSIC
****- GREAT
***- GOOD
**- Decent
*- Bad
No Stars= Stinks

The year is 1991, and the WWF is currently in the waning years of the Hulkamania era. Hogan was allegedly supposed to take a back-burner to the Ultimate Warrior as he passed the torch to Warrior at WrestleMania VI. Unfortunately, Warrior wasn’t the type of draw that Hogan was and therefore, Hogan would again take over as the number one face of WWF. As a result, Warrior dropped the belt after a near ten month reign with the championship at the Royal Rumble to Sgt. Slaughter, who was working at the time as a Iraqi sympathizer during and after the invasion of Kuwait and subsequent Operation Desert Storm. Slaughter and Hogan would engage in a war of words and brutality over the course of the next two months leading to WrestleMania VII.

The Ultimate Warrior, on the other hand, had other issues he was dealing with, namely Macho KING Randy Savage. For months, Savage and Sherri tried to bait the Warrior into granting Savage a title shot. Warrior refused on multiple occasions. Finally, Macho King attacked the Warrior twice during Warrior’s title defense against Sgt. Slaughter, costing Warrior the WWF Championship. Warrior and Savage would then feud to the point where both men signed contracts to participate in a “Career-Ending Match” where the loser would have to retire. Unfortunately, this would start a trend where everyone who lost one of these matches would always return.

Note: I’m watching an old VHS tape of this event. So, no music has been altered (to my knowledge), and there is no scratch WWE logo in the corner.

Willie Nelson sings “On the Road Again…” No. He sings “America the Beautiful” in a somewhat decent, if uninspired, performance. At least they didn’t book Roseanne Barr to do the National Anthem.

Gorilla Monsoon and The Brain are the announcing team for the PPV, but in the matches where Bobby is managing, Monsoon is joined by guest commentators. For this opening match, it is Uncle Sam with a 2x4 otherwise known as Hacksaw Eugene… err Jim Duggan.

The Rockers aren’t scared of Haku and The Barbarian.

Tag Team Match
The Rockers vs. Haku and The Barbarian (with Bobby “The Brain” Heenan)

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This WrestleMania is noteworthy as it would be Heenan’s last time working as a manager at the event, and it would be the last WrestleMania to feature The Rockers as a tag team. Very good opening match between the two teams that helped get the crowd going. The Rockers did a great job not only doing their fast paced, high-flying action, but they also did a great job selling the power offense by The Barbarian and Haku. And to their credit, this is one of the better matches I’ve ever seen Haku/Meng and the Barbarian have as individuals or as a tag team.

Match Rating- ***. The Rockers were just a solid tag team period. They had an excellent match a few months prior against The Orient Express at The Royal Rumble. This was at a time where tag teams were really emphasized by the WWE.

The Celebrity Guest Hosts (Regis Philbin, Marla Maples, and Alex Trebek) are interviewed by Mean Gene. Where's Sean Connery when you need him?

Dino Bravo (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. “The Texas Tornado” Kerry Von Erich

Very sad story looking back as both of these men would be dead within a couple years. I never really cared for Dino Bravo’s wrestling style, but Von Erich is a true success story in wrestling to be able to wrestle as well as he could despite what would have been a debilitating injury to another person.

The Von Erich claw is one of those unique maneuvers that really doesn’t look like it would hurt, but the person on the other end of the maneuver sells the hell out of it and makes it look great. Dino Bravo jumps into the Von Erich Claw, which Von Erich follows up with the Spinning Tornado (a discus punch) for the victory. Short match and nothing spectacular.

Match Rating- *. I wouldn’t call this a terrible match, but it didn’t do enough for me as a wrestling fan to really put it over the top from a * rating.

Slick and The Warlord do an interview and make a bunch of dog references. The British Bulldog with Matilda (a bulldog) do the same thing. Did Milk Bone sponsor this event?

The British Bulldog (w/ Matilda) vs. The Warlord (w/ Slick)

Three matches. Three managers, so far. This was definitely a different time and a different era. It either speaks volumes about what’s missing from professional wrestling or how much better professional wrestlers have been today on the mic. Still, one has to wonder if some of the wrestlers today couldn’t do with a good manager in their corner.

The Warlord looks like a hybrid of Goldberg and Brock Lesnar. Yeah, Bulldog and Warlord weren’t enhanced in either way by certain injections. So far, this is just a power matchup. It’s not a particularly bad match, but there really isn’t much to talk about. If one is to grade this as a big power vs. power match, this would only rank as alright. I wasn’t particularly upset by this match, but it’s not worth watching or remembering.

Match Rating: *1/2.

The Nasty Boyz and Jimmy Hart put over the fact they are going to destroy the Hart Foundation. The Hart Foundation say that in order to break the foundation, you have to start at the bottom which is where The Nasty Boys are going to be after the match: the bottom of the barrel.

Tag Team Championship
The Nasty Boys (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Hart Foundation

Decent tag team match. This is back when The Nasty Boys could actually work a match and not suck at it. The problem I have with the match is that The Nasty Boys and The Hart Foundation mix like oil and water. There is no chemistry between the two, and the results are evident. This was the last time The Hart Foundation would team together at a WrestleMania as Bret would move on to have an alright singles career. (I’m joking, no hate mail please.)

Match Rating: **.

Promo is shown highlighting Jake’s blindness and his subsequent search for revenge against Rick Martel. Jake Roberts cuts a short but sweet promo: “The Blind leading the Blind? Even a fool knows that a man only has five senses. A snake? He has six. We always do it better… hmm… in the dark.”

Blindfold Match
Jake “The Snake” Roberts vs. “The Model” Rick Martel

This is the first match on this card without a manager at ringside, just on the record. This match has been crapped on over the years for its lack of action. My response? WHAT THE BLUE HELL DO YOU EXPECT OUT OF A MATCH WHERE BOTH MEN ARE BLIND? They are both supposed to be as blind as Stevie Wonder. This match isn’t supposed to be a technical masterpiece. It’s really a tool to get the audience participated in the contest and to draw both laughter and drama. This match succeeds in both. Martel does a great job selling his blindness doing goofy things left and right, and Roberts still works his ring psychology with his body language, drawing the audience in to help him find Martel. This is really more for the live audience, but it is a fun match if one wants to laugh and enjoy a snippet of wrestling history.

Match Rating: **1/2.

Marla Maples is soaked in champagne by Jimmy Hart’s entourage as they celebrate The Nasty Boys’ title win.



The Streak Begins
“Superfly” Jimmy Snuka vs. The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer)

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[/YOUTUBE]
The Phenom passed the torch to “The Phenom.” Jimmy Snuka might have been a glorified jobber at this point in his career, but this still meant a lot in the career of The Undertaker both then and now. Defeating someone of the caliber of Snuka at this point in Snuka’s career would still be a major feather in one’s resume for any company. Undertaker dominated Snuka and in doing so ushered in the beginning of the undefeated streak which still reigns supreme today.

The match itself isn’t much to take in except for the historic value that it has years later. I still hold to the fact that Undertaker has actually gotten better with age, and I prefer Undertaker’s style in the 2004-present era to this. However, this is classic Undertaker, which is meant to be a zombie without the flesh eating. And Undertaker performed that role well. Good match, but a little short.

Match Rating: **.

Career-Ending Match
The Ultimate Warrior vs. “Macho King” Randy Savage (w/ “Sensational Queen” Sherri)

Now, here’s the point of the review where I’m sure people are going to bash what I’m going to type. This was without a shadow of a doubt one of the greatest matches in the history of WrestleMania period. You want drama? You got it. You want good wrestling? You got it. You want an out of control atmosphere? You got it. These men reacted in a manner that made you believe that one of them was seriously going to be wrestling their final match. Ultimate Warrior’s entrance told a great story as Warrior actually walks to the ring instead of running (as per usual). Savage and Warrior played up the emotion for all it was worth and then some. Sherri did her part as well playing the woman wanting to keep her meal ticket employed.

Both Savage and Warrior kicked out of each others’ finishing maneuvers, leading both to look exasperated and question whether they could actually keep their opponent down. The icing on the cake in this entire match is the last few minutes: Warrior finding the strength to finally vanquish Savage, Sherri turning on Savage and kicking a man when he’s down, and Elizabeth running to save her ex and then reuniting with that man in front of the entire world. If one is to consider Vince McMahon’s vision of professional wrestling, that’s sports-entertainment at its best… a payoff on a long running storyline and a connection to a character’s past all wrapped around a great in-ring story. This further feeds my personal opinion about Randy Savage’s time in WWF: To Savage’s credit, before Shawn Michaels pranced around TV screens proclaiming to be “Mr. WrestleMania,” Savage had been that through WrestleManias 2-8. Savage was the original “Mr. WrestleMania.” It is a credit to HBK that he has been able to do just as much if not more at WrestleMania than Savage. If it weren’t for HBK’s latest stint in the company (2002-10), Savage would still hold that distinction in my eyes.

To be honest, as great as the Shawn Michaels-Undertaker matches were (and they were classics themselves), it’s a bit of a shame that this match isn’t held on that same level. This could be for a couple reasons. 1) Savage and Warrior, let’s face it, are crazy bastards. Warrior was fired multiple times after this match, and Vince would never acknowledge how great this match was even if he thought it was. Savage has so many screws loose that Sigmund Freud would have a hard time evaluating Savage. Savage also left WWF during Vince’s most needing time, and Vince has never really forgiven Savage for that moment until seemingly just a year or so ago. 2) What’s old is usually forgotten… or should be if you are TNA. The match happened some 19 years ago, and fans want to remember Michaels-Undertaker more because it was recent. It sells more merchandise; so, therefore, I get it. We live in the now and tend to forget about the past. However, it’s a shame since I honestly believe, having watched all the WrestleManias, this match was on that same level as Michaels/Taker I and II.

Match Rating: *****. Excellent match, and it earns its spot in the True Classics List.

There’s a Bushwhacker sketch where Vince McMahon is trying to justify using instant replay in professional wrestling. I’m going to lose consciousness voluntarily during this.

The celebrity guests have a hard time interviewing Tenru and Katao, The Undertaker, Jake Roberts, and Demolition. I wonder why.

Tag Team Match
Demolition (Crush and Smash) (w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. Tenru and Katao

Terrible train wreck of a match. This is supposed to be a match between two Japanese superstars and a great tag team. What I saw was two wrestlers teamed up that a) I didn’t care for and b) sucked as a team against another team that had undergone a lineup change. At this point, you might as well have called Demolition KISS since both wore makeup, had a changing lineup, and by 1991 had worn out their welcome. The match is deserving of the list, and therefore, it shall go.

Match Rating: NO STARS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3djXcx2ewQ

The Crusher… The Crusher… That’d put a lot of asses in the seats. Back to the review…

You don’t hurt Big Boss Man’s momma’s feelings. Bobby Heenan had been doing that for months, starting with Ravishing Rick Rude (who was fired shortly after instigating the comments) and continuing up until this match. Bobby Heenan, manager of Mr. Perfect, makes some veiled reference to the Rodney King beatings and publicly states that everyone should put in their VCR tapes to record what Perfect is going to do with Boss Man.

Intercontinental Championship
Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect (with Bobby Heenan) (champion)

This wasn’t a bad match, but in terms of the matches Perfect was having as Intercontinental Champion during this time, it is probably one of his worst title defenses. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Boss Man and him didn’t mesh well as opponents. The match isn’t unwatchable, but it’s far from being memorable, aside from the last WrestleMania appearance of Andre the Giant. Andre looked terrible during this time, especially in comparison to what he looked like a year prior.

Match Rating: *1/2. Again, it’s not a terrible match, but the fact is it isn’t that great.

It’s interview time as Earthquake makes his way to the ring. Mean Gene interviews Donald Trump, Henry Winkler, Lou Ferrigno, and Chuck Norris.

Earthquake (with Jimmy Hart) vs. Greg Valentine

Short match that really didn’t do much for me. It’s kind of hard to mess up a match when you only have two minutes to do something. I thought this was WrestleMania, not Saturday Night Main Event.

Match Rating: *. Earthquake was still being pushed despite being done with Hulk Hogan at this time. In a couple months, he would form The Natural Disasters with Typhoon and eventually become Tag Team Champions.

Animal and Hawk promise to make Power and Glory “Sour and Gory.” OHHHHHH WHAT A RUSH!

Tag Team Match
The Legion of Doom vs. Power and Glory (with Slick)

Another squash match on the PPV. However, as far as the squash matches go on this PPV, this is one of the more memorable given that it’s the Legion of Doom’s first WrestleMania appearance. If I were to show someone how dominating the L.O.D. could be, I’d show this match.

Match Rating: *. It didn’t go longer than it needed to be, and it helped make Legion of Doom look that much more impressive.

Virgil (w/ Rowdy Roddy Piper) vs. “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase

Anyone who has even watched WWE TV recently knows the history between Virgil and the DiBiase family. Virgil was DiBiase’s servant until Virgil had enough of being harassed. He blasted DiBiase with his own Million Dollar Belt and was trained to wrestle by Rowdy Roddy Piper.

Piper looks bad-ass even hobbling to the ring with his crutch. I still wouldn’t want to piss him off. He makes a “Price is Right” reference to get Virgil to the ring. What happens next is not so much of a match as it is a good exhibition in storytelling. DiBiase, the renowned wrestler, having difficulty controlling Virgil. DiBiase eventually takes a potshot at Piper who in turn helps Virgil win the match by countout. DiBiase becomes furious and attacks Virgil and Piper, with assistance from his new manager, Sensational Sherri. She didn’t waste time there, did she?

Match Rating: **. Again, you have to look at this match as a storyline rather than a match. This was never going to be a technical masterpiece or a great ten minutes of wrestling. What it was though was a good exhibition in storytelling that eventually led to Virgil’s victory at SummerSlam for the Million Dollar Championship.

Tito Santana vs. The Mountie (w/ Jimmy Hart)

If anybody was ever the anti-Undertaker at WrestleMania, it was probably Tito Santana. The man never won a match at WrestleMania since he won at the first WrestleMania. The streak continues when he wrestled the former Rougeau Brother, The Mountie. This match is pretty short and terrible, with the ending coming with the cattle prod.

Match Rating: ½ *. It was short and sweet. Therefore, I’m sparing it the indignation of the “Don’t Try This at Home “ list.

The celebrities come out to take their positions for the main event.

World Wrestling Federation Championship
Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter (with General Adnan) (champion)

Many have proclaimed this to be one of the worst WrestleMania main events in history. To be honest, I can’t say I blame them. Nothing about the match screams excitement except for the obvious Iraq vs. America overtones. Slaughter was a decent wrestler and monstrously over with this gimmick, but the match doesn’t click. Slaughter didn’t seem like he had a shot in hell of winning this match as everyone knew Hogan would win this match. Plus, there were some obvious goofs during the match. Hogan at one point actually climbs to the top rope. Like that’s ever worked for him before. Then, the most blatant on-camera blade job in wrestling occurred when Hogan cut himself on camera after being hit with a chair. This match deserves its own drinking game in terms of the stereotypes that happen in it. The match had promise, but it doesn’t stand up to the other WrestleMania main event matches before it or most of the main event matches that happened after it. That being said, on a card that included Demolition vs. Tenryu and Kitao, this looks like a gift from the wrestling gods.

Match Rating: *1/2. It could have been so much more than what it was. These two didn’t wrestle well together, and it’s worth a view if you are looking at something to laugh at.

PPV Rating: **. There could be two schools of thought on this PPV. Some people may have a higher rating, saying that for your money’s worth, you get 14 matches at a WrestleMania. However, I would counter that argument by saying that of the fourteen matches, SIX of them were under 5 minutes. IN addition, I would point to matches such as The Bulldog-Warlord match and the Perfect-Boss Man match as proof of the lack of quality that some of the major matches had. Anyone that wants to see the best matches of this WrestleMania, pick up the Savage or Warrior DVD for the one classic match on this list. For those wanting to see Rockers 101, pick up Shawn Michaels’ Heartbreak and Triumph DVD set. And if you are so inclined to wanting to see The Nasty Boys as a legitimate tag team, the Bret Hart set has this match on it. Otherwise, unless you are a collector of WrestleManias, I cannot endorse the PPV.

_ _ _ _ _ _
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7I-YI_fiRU

“Don’t Try This at Home”
- Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards, No Way Out 2001
- The Nasty Boys vs. Team 3D, Against All Odds 2010
- Kane vs. Triple H, WrestleMania XV
- Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man, WrestleMania XV
- Scott Steiner vs. Triple H, No Way Out 2003
- The Bushwhackers vs. The Beverly Brothers, Royal Rumble 1992
- The Miz vs. The Boogeyman- Armageddon 2006
- Demolition vs. Tenryu and Kitao- WrestleMania VII

True Classics
Six Person Intergender Hardcore Match- ECW One Night Stand 2006
1992 Royal Rumble Match
Macho Man Randy Savage vs. The Ultimate Warrior- WrestleMania VII

The next PPV review will (hopefully) be Bound for Glory 2010. That’s right. After the dust has settled, “they” are revealed, and Hulk Hogan does another video from the crapper, I will add my few thoughts into how the evening progressed, what matches went for bust, and whether TNA will be around for Bound for Glory 2011.

If for some reason I do not get the event live, I will review Bound for Glory 2006 as a substitute.

See you next time, fellow wrestling disciples.

 

[DiscipleofWrestling]

TNA BOUND FOR GLORY 2010

*****- CLASSIC
****- GREAT
***- GOOD
**- Decent
*- Bad
No Stars= Stinks

I thought &#8220;they&#8221; was Demolition the entire time. So much for my sarcastic theory. Just for the hell of it though&#8230;.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHQwQ50rsag

Speaking of tag teams, TNA made a smart move in making this their opening contest&#8230;

TNA World Tag Team Championships
Generation Me vs. Motor City Machine Guns (champions)

There seemed to be a little bit of a goof up during the introductions as Generation Me came out before their music ever played and before the cameras were on the entrance way. Reminded me a little bit of SummerSlam 2001 when Kanyon and DDP haphazardly walked out to their entrance themes looking like they were lost. Anyways, back to the matter at hand.

Very solid opening contest for the PPV. The match had several legitimate near falls where I could have sworn the match was coming to an end. Generation Me deserves the spot they are in as far as challenging MCMG. Unfortunately with the later announcement in the show, it seems Gen Me is going to be taking a back seat for a month or so. Crazy insane sequence of events in this match. I wouldn&#8217;t put this in the same category as the Beer Money-MCMG series, but it deserves to be remembered as one of the best tag team matches of 2010. This set a good pace for the rest of the show. (On a side note, a funny moment happened when Alex Shelley pulled Chris Sabin over to the corner to make the tag after about 6 minutes of four person non-tag action. It was a nice way of acknowledging the conventions of tag team wrestling, which sometimes become nullified in such an environment.)

Match Rating: ****. Definitely worth checking out if you waited to get the DVD. Motor City Machine Guns are being given time on screen to show their skills, and they are excelling as a tag team as a result.

Madison Rayne is pissing Tara off without even knowing it. The Beautiful People still hate LayCool for stealing their gimmick (by the way, I don&#8217;t blame Undertaker for marrying McCool. She&#8217;d give me rigor mortis too if you know what I&#8217;m talking about). Mickie James is still hot, and this division is dying to have Awesome Kong return.

Four Corners Match for TNA Knockout Championship
Tara vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love (champion)
Special Guest Referee: Mickie James

Tara and Madison Rayne came out on their motorcycle while Angelina Love and Velvet Sky did their normal Beautiful People entrance. As Tazz mentioned, I missed the point of this as it was not a tag team match. Funny moment was when the Beautiful People were making their entrance and the cameras caught Mickie James&#8217; facial expression as they entered. Kind of like a &#8220;Well, that&#8217;s original&#8221; look. The match isn&#8217;t exactly what I would call a classic. I fondly remember the days when Gail Kim and Awesome Kong were creating the Knockouts Division with their memorable series of matches. Unfortunately, this was far from it. This was too much of a mess to accurately describe with a play by play. Imagine a Divas match with actual wrestling moves but still the chaotic lack of attention the end of their matches gets.

Match Rating: *1/2. As far as an actual wrestling match goes, this wasn&#8217;t that great. Compared to some of the crap I&#8217;ve been seeing in WWE in regards to its DIVAS division in recent years, this was a masterpiece. I don&#8217;t care if Tara/Victoria/Lisa Marie Varon is at or closing in on 40 years old. She&#8217;s still a solid in-ring performer and deserves as many runs with the championship as possible. Velvet Sky was the weak link in the match, as far as wrestling ability goes. She was definitely a dessert on the eyes though. Mickie James as a referee was almost a waste of time as she didn&#8217;t really factor into the match at all. But it did help set up her eventual match for the title.

Eric Young and Orlando Jordan are on a PPV. I died a little inside realizing this match was actually on PPV instead of on the pre-show.

Sunday Night Live
Orlando Jordan and Eric Young vs. Ink Inc.

Oh, dear God. Where do I begin with this one? Let me just highlight what Eric was doing: played a referee and counted his own partner&#8217;s shoulders to the mat for a two count, had a &#8220;TNA RULE BOOK&#8221; which he flashed in the camera, refused to help partner break said rules, threw partner back into the ring, helped opponent in moves against own partner multiple times, tagged himself in against own partner, and attacked his own partner. To their credit, Ink Inc. did a solid job performing in the match and looked impressive despite the shenanigans by Young. Jordan continues to creep me out in a bad way. He&#8217;s a poor man&#8217;s Goldust (circa 1995-6). He&#8217;s got none of his wrestling skills, and his bizarre persona grosses out more than it intrigues. Still, I have to give the match and its participants credit. For a comedy match, it wasn&#8217;t a train-wreck to watch and was kept mercifully shorter than I expected.

Match Rating: *1/2. Again, not the greatest thing in the entire world. But it served some kind of purpose. I&#8217;ll get back to you when I finally figure that one out.

Jeff Hardy says tonight was a new beginning for him.

X-Division Championship
Douglas Williams vs. Jay Lethal (champion)

The match with no hype whatsoever. Doug Williams wanted a title shot apparently, and he got it. I gotta admit that I am a Doug Williams fan as I thought he did a solid job as X-Division Champion during this past year. Good back and forth in the early few minutes of the match between the two wrestlers. The crowd was pretty much out of it for most of the match. I think the last couple matches killed the momentum of the opening match with the crowd. Williams did a little more showboating than usual, playing to the crowd during his match with hand motions. Lethal wins when he reverses a hurricanrana attempt by Williams (of all people) into a pinning combination.

Match Rating: **1/2. Good match for what it was.

Lethal went into the crowd afterwards to celebrate only to get attacked by Robbie E. and Cookie. I&#8217;m actually glad to see TNA is not going to bail on their experiment quite yet. I think there is potential in this character if they can pull the right strings. However, I wouldn&#8217;t promote it too long to the point where it turns viewers off or makes them indifferent. Professional wrestling already has that: it&#8217;s called the Raw GM angle. &#8220;And I quote&#8230;&#8221; That angle sucks.

Rob Van Dam doesn&#8217;t live in &#8220;What If?&#8221; This is one of my favorite TNA-made promo videos for a wrestling match. It did a unique job of telling the story without getting boring and monotonous.

Monster&#8217;s Ball
Abyss vs. Rob Van Dam

In terms of Monster&#8217;s Ball, this match didn&#8217;t go over the top as some of the others have in the past. I was expecting some of Abyss&#8217;s usual gimmicks, such as the bag of thumbtacks and the bag of broken glass. Maybe this had something to do with the fact that Flair and Foley used the thumbtacks in their match to such a degree in their match on Impact. However, unlike some of the other Monster&#8217;s Ball matches, this had an actual pacing to it due to their being just two competitors. The impact of each move becomes that much more magnified when there&#8217;s only two at work in a match. Van Dam took a couple shots into barbed wire which I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;ve ever seen him take before. Abyss took several good shots in this match as usual. This reminded me more of a Van Dam match in the old ECW than it did one of the Monster&#8217;s Ball matches. That&#8217;s not a bad thing as I enjoy Van Dam&#8217;s ECW work for the most part. The use of Janice was poetic justice, which was what was called for in the situation. I prefer their match at The Whole F&#8217;n Show, but this was definitely a solid contest between the two.

Match Rating: ***

Abyss tells the camera that they are coming&#8230; once again. At this point, I was hoping something like this would happen to Abyss:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrXhxmQJSS0

&#8220;Deception&#8221; Handicap Match
Sting, Kevin Nash, and The Pope vs. Samoa Joe and Jeff Jarrett

There&#8217;s a rule in wrestling that I&#8217;ve found to be true in these types of situations: If there is a tag team match and the partner has spent no time in the ring, there&#8217;s a 90% probability he will abandon his partner when he tries to make the hot tag. That&#8217;s exactly what happened in this situation: Joe was in the ring the entire match and ended up being stabbed in the back by J-E-Double F, J-A-Double R- E- Double T. Ain&#8217;t he great? I liked the fact that Nash, Sting, and Pope all looked at Joe like &#8220;We told ya.&#8221; It made sense for the three of them to beat on Joe instead of just taking Joe into the fold. Joe had joined with Jarrett and helped Jarrett label Nash, Sting, and Pope as delusional and malcontents. The actual match wasn&#8217;t really that bad. The Nash, Sting, and Pope team had frequent tags, which showed a great difference between the two teams right off the bat. However, the match really came off as more of an angle than an actual match thanks to the way things unfolded.

Match Rating: **. Irony ran amuck here as Sting once again beat Jeff Jarrett and Samoa Joe at a Bound for Glory.

Anderson apologizes to Angle&#8217;s friends and family for retiring Angle tonight. Anderson said being kicked in the nuts sucked. &#8220;That shit hurt.&#8221;

Team 3D announces they&#8217;re done as a tag team, but they want to wrestle the Machine Guns and win tag team title #24 before the end. Why this is on PPV is completely mind-blowing as it does nothing to the show except take time away from other matches? Does Team 3D PROMISE to stay retired after this match? Or is it one of those Ric Flair/Randy Savage deals where the retirement becomes null and void months later?

Tenay and Taz are fighting over whether the Guns should accept the match or not. I&#8217;m begging Taz to put the Tazmission on Tenay.

Lethal Lockdown
EV 2.0 vs. Fourtune

Perhaps the most controversial match going into the PPV was the ECW group EV 2.0 facing the TNA Original-laden Fourtune. Should the over the hill gang be booked to defeat the young guns of the Fourtune group? Well, the answer was EV 2.0 won. At first, I was honestly pissed that Fourtune was defeated. However, once I thought about it and ate a couple Frosted Mini Wheat pieces, I realized that Fourtune had been beating the hell out of EV 2.0 for the better part of two months with very rare moments of glory for the Hardcore Originals. So, maybe there will be a blow off in the next couple weeks or at the next PPV for the feud. Also, given the end of the PPV, management may have figured in letting a face faction win one of the major matches of the evening instead of having three back to back heel victories on the PPV. I still think Fourtune should have won since it would have immensely helped that gimmick get over with the audience, but I don&#8217;t have a pencil and eraser like some people in Orlando.

The match itself was very good. The shocking thing was who started off the contest for the teams. One would think that Tommy Dreamer and A.J. Styles would start off the match, but in actuality, it was Kazarian and Stevie Richards who got the honors. And to their credit, they each did a solid job with the allotted time. Without going into detail about every elbow drop or steel cage shot taken, I will say this was easily a better overall Lethal Lockdown than the Team Hogan-Team Flair match at LockDown earlier in the year. While the ending left a lot to be desired, the match itself was solid and an excellent example of how this type of contest should be used.

Match Rating: ***1/2.

Kurt Angle reminds us he will retire if he loses. He also says this one is for Hulk. Isn&#8217;t that rich, brother?

TNA World Heavyweight Championship
Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

Kurt Angle stated in interviews and on Twitter that this match would be a Match of the Year candidate. I don&#8217;t think that it reached that level of excellence. However, to all three men&#8217;s credit, the match was very entertaining, a good display of athleticism, and memorable without the last few minutes. Highlights for me were the double German Suplex and Ankle Lock by Kurt Angle. Anderson has probably been the most improved TNA wrestler of 2010. He&#8217;s really done a great job getting to this level where he can main event a company&#8217;s PPV. And Jeff Hardy had an energetic performance as well, and he held up his end of the wrestling match. As for the &#8220;they&#8221; reveal being at the end, I think anyone watching the PPV knew it was coming. Hogan being there was great, in my personal opinion. All of this crap about Hogan only gives a damn about himself needs to be silenced for a minute. The man had legitimate back surgeries and made the effort to show up for the company&#8217;s big angle despite his health situation. Some have even tried to blame TNA for allowing Hogan to come in for the show. I guess it&#8217;s the old case of &#8220;Damned if you do, and damned if you don&#8217;t.&#8221; Could the major screwjob have waited until after the match? Maybe, but Hardy wouldn&#8217;t have had nearly the heat he could potentially have if he had won the match fair and square. This ending saves Anderson and Angle from looking weak and makes Hardy an opportunistic heel.

Match Rating: ***1/2.
______
As for the reveal of &#8220;They,&#8221; I was at once met with several emotions: duh, shock, disappointment, and acceptance. Let me explain. I knew Eric Bischoff played a role in this whole thing. There were too many &#8220;keys&#8221; given away on Impact Thursday Night. Hogan? Eh, it figures. But then again, I didn&#8217;t know whether he&#8217;d actually be there or not. I figured if Hogan was involved, it would have been a last second situation. Abyss? Again, he&#8217;s been prophesying it the entire time. So, it makes perfect sense for him to be a part of &#8216;they.&#8217; Jarrett? I didn&#8217;t know if &#8220;Deception&#8221; would work into the &#8220;They&#8221; storyline or not, but it did. And to be honest, it makes logical sense if one has been paying attention to the show since January. Hardy? That&#8217;s the one revelation that caught me off guard. Kurt Angle and Ken Anderson have been major heels at various points in their careers, but Hardy has always been the fan favorite, the guy everyone wants to cheer. This is a bold move, and one I hope works out for TNA. As it was, Hardy wasn&#8217;t really going anywhere within the company on TV, often received a tepid response from the TNA audience, and stood out like a shark in a pond. But with Hardy&#8217;s turn, now he fits in to the puzzle. I think it is foolish to assume that Hardy can&#8217;t pull off the heel role. Again, he&#8217;s never played that role before. Just because Hardy&#8217;s always been a face and has had difficulty cutting a face promo, it doesn&#8217;t mean Hardy won&#8217;t rise to the occasion. One legitimate concern would be to ask if the company should be putting their faith into a man who may end up going to jail in a few months. TNA does have a history of putting their championship on men in legal trouble.

The whole angle and its payoff have been very polarizing to the wrestling fans who populate the various online discussion boards and websites. All one has to do is search the various WrestleZone Forums and threads to see everyone come online to give their fifteen cents on what happened. Many are promising &#8220;AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, I WILL NEVER WATCH ANOTHER TNA EVENT AGAIN.&#8221; Half of those people are likely going to tune in on Thursday Night just to see what the backlash is. It&#8217;s the way things go. If I had a nickel for every time I promised never to watch a wrestling show again just because an ending pissed me off, I&#8217;d be about 75 cents richer. Could &#8220;They&#8221; have been a better pick? Sure. In an ideal world, Paul Heyman or Shane McMahon would have walked down the ramp at Bound for Glory and sided with one of the three combatants. But that perfect world exists in the same world that tells us we get every chick on the cover of Playboy. I think TNA did the best with the resources they had, but I will admit that it wasn&#8217;t as shocking as I had hoped.

PPV Rating: ***. I stand by this rating because as a wrestling fan and a paying customer, I don&#8217;t buy a PPV to be happy with every creative decision a company makes. I pay $35 bucks twice a year (at this rate anyway) to be entertained for 3 hours and to enjoy the live show. On a scale between No Way Out 2002 (a terrible show) and WrestleMania X-Seven (perhaps the greatest single PPV ever), this ranks just about right in the middle. It didn&#8217;t blow my mind away, but it sure as hell didn&#8217;t disappoint me. Whether the company goes bust tomorrow or not, I enjoyed the show. If I wanted fast-paced wrestling action, the opening contest more than met that requirement. If I wanted to see an all out war, two matches (Lethal Lockdown and Monster&#8217;s Ball) met that goal. If I wanted to see controversy, the &#8220;they&#8221; storyline did that. If I wanted a solid main event, this PPV had that as well. I was entertained. And in the end, that&#8217;s all that really matters to me when I press &#8220;Buy.&#8221;

_ _ _ _ _ _
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7I-YI_fiRU

&#8220;Don&#8217;t Try This at Home&#8221;
- Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards, No Way Out 2001
- The Nasty Boys vs. Team 3D, Against All Odds 2010
- Kane vs. Triple H, WrestleMania XV
- Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man, WrestleMania XV
- Scott Steiner vs. Triple H, No Way Out 2003
- The Bushwhackers vs. The Beverly Brothers, Royal Rumble 1992
- The Miz vs. The Boogeyman- Armageddon 2006
- Demolition vs. Tenryu and Kitao- WrestleMania VII


True Classics
Six Person Intergender Hardcore Match- ECW One Night Stand 2006
1992 Royal Rumble Match
Macho Man Randy Savage vs. The Ultimate Warrior- WrestleMania VII

Bound for Glory 2006 review will be posted soon.

 

[DiscipleofWrestling]

** Note to my fellow disciples: I decided to go ahead and do my homework on this PPV, given that I did not know if I was going to be reviewing Bound for Glory 2010 or not. Happily, I can report that I was able to. But since I already did the work on Bound for Glory 2006, I&#8217;ve decided to go ahead and add this show to the PPV Review Altar. Enjoy. **

TNA Bound for Glory 2006

*****- CLASSIC
****- GREAT
***- GOOD
**- Decent
*- Bad
No Stars= Stinks

This was arguably the biggest time in the history of Total Nonstop Action. With the recent announcement of Kurt Angle&#8217;s defection to TNA, the wrestling world was still up in arms over the prospects of seeing Kurt Angle interact with its many superstars, including Samoa Joe. The build to the PPV involved Samoa Joe taking Jeff Jarrett&#8217;s NWA World Championship hostage until he got his title shot. Kurt Angle intervened on the episode of Impact before Bound for Glory and collided with Joe, allowing Jarrett to sneak in and grab his championship back. As Bound for Glory came to fruition, the subtext to the entire evening was the impending collision between Joe and Angle.

Jeff Jarrett, the founder of TNA, was the company&#8217;s main villain at the time and it&#8217;s NWA World Heavyweight Champion since Slammiversary 2006. The main storyline of the entire year for TNA was Jeff Jarrett&#8217;s war with the returning Sting. Sting, who had been semi-retired since 2001, made his return to a full-time wrestling schedule in January with one goal: to rid TNA of the cancer that was Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett and Sting exchanged victories and defeats over the year, with the majority of the TNA roster at the time becoming caught in the cross-hairs. Finally, It was decided that Jeff Jarrett would defend his world championship against Sting at Bound for Glory with the stipulation that if Sting lost, he would retire from the industry.

TNA, as a company, was growing steadily around this time. In 2005, TNA signed several former WWE compatriots to contracts: The Dudley Boyz (rechristened Team 3D), Billy Gunn (rechristened Kip James), Rhyno (rechristened Rhino), and maybe its most important acquisition in history (even to today) in Christian (given the last name Cage). Christian was the first major singles WWE star to &#8220;cross the line&#8221; to Total Nonstop Action as he was a former Intercontinental Champion, multiple time Tag Team Champion, former main event talent, and was still arguably in the prime of his career. In 2006, Kurt Angle crossed the line as well, giving fan boys on the internet several moments of pure glee. In addition, TNA finally traveled outside of the Impact Zone to have its first PPV event in another arena (since their move from the Asylum to the Impact Zone, at least). With that in mind, let&#8217;s get to the review.

This is TNA&#8230; The New Face of Professional Wrestling.

A promotional video plays at the beginning of the show, highlighting the dreams that made America and the dreams that hold TNA together. It&#8217;s a pretty solid piece of work, but it&#8217;s a little much to compare a wrestling company to Henry Ford forming the Ford Motor Company.

The theme song sounds like a generic &#8220;Alive&#8221; by P.O.D. I know that sounds a little redundant.

TNA is coming to air tonight from Detroit, Michigan (or rather Plymouth Township, Michigan).

Kevin Nash comes out to a generic form of Kashmir by Led Zeppelin. TNA&#8217;s music has gotten better in my opinion.

Austin Starr (Austin Aries from ROH) makes his debut with the company on this night as we head to the X-Division Open Invitational Gauntlet Match.

"Kevin Nash Open Invitational X Division Gauntlet Battle Royal"

Kevin Nash just claimed to be one of the all time greatest high fliers in wrestling. Yeah, and Andre the Giant was Straight Edge. Jay Lethal is in this match. I believe this whole Kevin Nash storyline would lead to the inception of the Black Machismo gimmick which became both a blessing and a curse to Jay Lethal&#8217;s career. It&#8217;s an entertaining match thus far as A1 enters the ring, if not a little ridiculous. I&#8217;m a sucker for the Royal Rumble. What can I say? Zach Gowen is in this match, and now, we&#8217;ll find out just how good a one legged man in an ass-kicking contest can do. Gowen is really a great story in professional wrestling. Nice to see a guy live his dream despite his disability. Serelda? What the hell? She gets eliminated quickly though. She&#8217;ll be on Ellen tomorrow. I stand by that statement whatever meaning you take from it. Shark Boy enters the ring now. This is before he became a Stone Cold ripoff and a member of the Prince Justice Brotherhood, which almost killed my interest in TNA forever. Alex Shelley, pre-Motor City Machine Guns, enters the match. D-Ray 3000 enters the ring. I guess you had to be watching TNA for many years to know all of these guys. Elix Skipper hits a few moves and injures himself seemingly trying to do a move off the top rope. Short Sleeve Sampson? Are you freaking kidding me already? NO WAY. Norman Smiley?! The wiggle?! What? Was George Michael too busy in the men&#8217;s bathroom? I never got the appeal of &#8220;The Wiggle&#8221; and never will. Petey Williams enters the ring, and if he hits the Canadian Destroyer, this match is guaranteed to get a * out of me at least. He hits it!!!! Love that move. Now, there are a lot of wrestlers being tossed out left and right. It comes down to Starr and Lethal, and Starr wins it with a brain-buster.

Match Rating: **. Good opening contest as I&#8217;ve always been a sucker for a Royal Rumble type of contest. I thought it was *********ory of TNA to reference itself so much and to include so many gimmicky personalities. However, it did its job well in getting the X-Division on the show, and I got to see the Canadian Destroyer. All&#8217;s well that ends well.

Shelley argues with Nash while he hands the bowling statue to Starr.

Replays are shown of Gail Kim slapping Konnan and getting Border Toss-ed by Hernandez for her troubles. For a bunch of heels, LAX was over with the crowd. Then again, that&#8217;s the Impact Zone for ya, marking for whomever and disregarding the face/heel dynamic. AMW say they will get their revenge, and James Storm ends the interview with the classic line: Sorry about your damn luck.

&#8220;The Franchise&#8221; Shane Douglas, the greatest wrestler in his own mind, comes out to the ring and tells the crowd they are going to get &#8220;franchised.&#8221; He introduces the newly &#8220;Franchised&#8221; Naturals.

Fatal 4 Way Tag Team Match
The Naturals vs. America&#8217;s Most Wanted vs. The James Gang vs. Team 3D

Each of these teams had a unique tag team entrance, which is rare in today&#8217;s day in age where almost everyone comes out to the same type of entrance. Billy Gunn just told Team 3D to suck it: nice considering that 1) DX was back together on WWE and 2) the last time the James Gang was relevant was when they were a part of DX.

This match isn&#8217;t anything special. They did the typical tower of doom maneuver that&#8217;s been done to death now in wrestling to the point where when it happens now, it doesn&#8217;t mean as much. Solid exchange between the members of the four teams for a second as they exchanged maneuvers left and right. Then, AMW and the James Gang brawl to the back, leaving it to The Naturals vs. Team 3D. Nice change that the tables weren&#8217;t involved in the finish, which for a Team 3D match is a miracle. Team 3D wins with the 3D, and Shane Douglas comes back out to bitch out the Naturals.

Match Rating: **. Again, it&#8217;s nothing special, but it wasn&#8217;t particularly that bad of a match. Therefore, I&#8217;ll cut it some slack and let it slide without too much bashing.

Jeremy Borash is waiting for Samoa Joe outside of his dressing room when, lo and behold, Jake &#8220;The Snake&#8221; Roberts walks up to Borash. Roberts explains that Joe needs to do his thing in the ring. Roberts is a &#8220;guide,&#8221; and he states that he is not a &#8220;ref&#8221; as he hates stripes. Short rant: Jake Roberts has always been one of the saddest stories in wrestling because his demons kept him from truly achieving the heights he could have. Jake would have been a huge star in today&#8217;s wrestling age, even bigger than he was in his day.

Monster&#8217;s Ball (w/ Jake &#8220;The Snake&#8221; Roberts as Special Referee)
Samoa Joe vs. Brother Runt vs. Raven vs. Abyss (with James Mitchell)

Roberts heads down the ring with the classic snake bag. Abyss is nothing without James Mitchell. I&#8217;ll say this for fact: James Mitchell would be great to have at Abyss&#8217;s side during this "they" storyline. As crazy as Abyss is alone, his character was crazier with Mitchell at the helm. Runt looks like a punk rocker from the late 80s. Raven comes out with a mask that seems like a hybrid of Mankind meets Hannibal Lector. Samoa Joe walks to the ring like he&#8217;s ready to kill someone. Joe was in such better shape back at this time and was a much more solid wrestler, in my opinion.

Roberts does the smart thing for a referee: stay out of the action. He literally stands aside watching the four combatants go at it full force. Runt gets thrown out in the crowd (ala old ECW days). Joe does a dive over the top to the three competitors on the outside. The action becomes out of control as Raven and Joe fight each other while Abyss works over Brother Runt. Joe takes a table shot to the concrete while Abyss sends Runt off scaffolding onto a platform and throws himself backward onto Runt. Crowd chants &#8220;This is Awesome,&#8221; and in terms of theatrics, it is pretty good. Raven throws Joe through another table! Runt, Abyss, and Raven continue the action while Joe takes a breather recovering from the table shot. Abyss pulls an Earthquake on Raven (the running sit down splash). Mitchell later gives Abyss the bag of thumbtacks, but Jake chases off Abyss with the snake preventing him from using the thumbtacks. Raven attacks Jake, and Abyss proceeds to unveil the &#8220;thousands&#8221; of thumbtacks. Mitchell: &#8220;Click&#8230; DOOMSDAY!&#8221; Joe interrupts the attempt and performs a running Senton splash onto Abyss, sending Abyss face first into the tacks. Raven stops Joe from choking out Abyss, only to be nailed with a Jake Roberts DDT. Joe then nails Raven with a Muscle Buster for the victory. Post-match, Raven meets Jake&#8217;s python of the day.

Match Rating: ***. FUN match. As far as hardcore wrestling goes, this was a good exhibition. It&#8217;s one of the better Monster&#8217;s Ball matches in the company&#8217;s history. The Monster&#8217;s Ball from BFG 2005 is probably the best and my personal favorite, but this is probably my second to third favorite of the Monster&#8217;s Ball matches. Jake Roberts really didn&#8217;t add much to the match except for being Jake Roberts.

Eric Young&#8230; is a joke. Has been, will always be. This is both sad and true. Larry Zybysko runs in and tells Young he&#8217;s finished. Was Zybysko ever really that good? My only memory of him as a wrestler was the series of matches he had with William Regal in WCW.

Loser Gets Fired from TNA Match
Larry Zbyszko vs. Eric Young

I have a feeling I&#8217;m going to hate this match. Eric Young is still jumping after fireworks explode. Eric points to Larry and gets the crowd to boo him. He points at himself and gets the crowd to cheer him. Nice. This is a joke of a match, your comedy match of the evening. Waste of PPV time that could have gone to something else. An abdominal stretch. Haven&#8217;t seen that move in a while. Young reverses, but Larry knocks into the referee. Larry tries to hit Young with a foreign object, but Young low blows Larry. Then, he nails him with the object. Young wins. While it was a short match, it was also one of the stupidest exhibitions on a PPV I&#8217;ve ever seen. Therefore, this will land on a certain list.

Match Rating: No Stars!

http://www.youtube.com/v/RaqiquJnKBo

A promotional video for Mortal Kombat which essentially compares Senshi (Low Ki/Kaval) to a Mortal Kombat fighter.

Jim Cornette can&#8217;t speak, which I&#8217;m sure Joey Styles would be happy about if it happened today. Cornette said he&#8217;s so sick that he can barely talk. However, Cornette said he would have been in ICU before missing this show. He bans Joe from ringside during the main event, or he will be fired on the spot. Kurt Angle comes out and says he doesn&#8217;t need Cornette&#8217;s protection. He pretty much states that he would be embarrassed if he were Joe considering how Angle beat up Joe on Impact. Joe doesn&#8217;t take that lying down, and he runs out to confront Angle. They get into a 2 minute scuffle with people trying to pull them apart. This is great build for Genesis for the inevitable confrontation between Joe and Angle.

Tenay and West talk about the confrontation that just happened.

X-Division Championship
Chris Sabin vs. Senshi (champion)

Again, the music is abysmal for these guys. The packaging for the wrestlers in terms of ring entrances, music, and videos has gotten infinitely better.

http://www.youtube.com/v/ESwfjfkpqFc to watch the whole match.

Extremely solid match in my personal opinion. The X-Division hasn&#8217;t been utilized to its full potential in a long time. These two had a great 13 minute match which showcased both wrestlers&#8217; athletic abilities and allowed the wrestlers to tell a good story. This highlights to me the positives and the negatives of the current TNA product. Anymore, a match like this between two singles X-Division wrestlers has become a rarity. TNA has had some solid tag team matches and multi-man X-Division clusters. But to say &#8220;_____ and _____, we&#8217;re giving you 13 minutes on a PPV. Go blow the roof off this mother,&#8221; that hasn&#8217;t happened in a while for the X-Division. Listen to the crowd. They were going nuts for this match. I can&#8217;t remember a reaction like that for the X-Division for a LONG time.

Match Rating: ****. While I&#8217;m not ranking this in the True Classics list, don&#8217;t let that ranking fool you. This is a VERY enjoyable match that I recommend you watch in the video link above or buy the PPV for this match. Excellent performances by both men.

Jeremy Borash is with Christian Cage. Cage runs down Rhino, Detroit, the Detroit Tigers, Rhino&#8217;s family, Rhino&#8217;s aunt&#8217;s cooking, 8 Mile, and the crowd. And apparently, that&#8217;s how he rolls. Where&#8217;s this Christian in WWE?

8 Mile Street Fight
Rhino vs. Christian

http://www.youtube.com/v/Bmg_esUEJMA

The ending is a little weak in my opinion. I&#8217;m supposed to believe that stacking 5 items on top of Rhino and pounding them with a steel chair somehow hurts Rhino more than a direct shot with some of those weapons. Right. Given that, the street fight lived up to its name and then some. The piledriver through the table was sick. This might be the best performance I have seen from Rhino. Christian had a great performance as well, eliciting some great feedback from the audience. Christian can perform as both a face and a heel, but I think Christian is better as a heel in my opinion.

Match Rating: ****. Another great match on this PPV. I honestly prefer the X-Division Championship match to this if I had to choose, but it is a good quality hardcore match.

Konnan is stating that America is racist and that LAX is going to be violent as ever. What&#8217;s LAX&#8217;s worst nightmare? Waking up in Arizona.

Why is WWE&#8217;s Steel Cage superior to TNA&#8217;s? It doesn&#8217;t take 10 minutes to erect while the PPV is running!!!!

NWA World Tag Team Championships
Latin American Xchange (with Konnan) vs. Christopher Daniels and A.J. Styles (champions)

http://www.youtube.com/v/c4HK11FwMeI

This always bothered me. In a steel cage match, what&#8217;s the point of having tag team rules inside the cage? What&#8217;s the worst that can happen? You can&#8217;t get disqualified. LAX has the best dynamic for a tag team. Some argue that your team should be all quickness or all power. LAX was a mixture of both: Homicide, a cruiserweight/X-Division wrestler, and Hernandez, a heavyweight powerhouse. LAX used a freaking fork in the match. Abdullah the Butcher must be smiling somewhere&#8230; the sick bastard. Good back and forth match for the most part. Again, A.J. Styles nailed the holy **** spot in a Steel Cage match. I know. Spotty, spotty, spotty. Well, at this point, I&#8217;m not just drinking the Kool-Aid. I&#8217;m chugging it, and I&#8217;m not afraid to admit it. Hernandez needs to be credited as well as he did an unusual dive for a big man off the top of the cage. The right team went over as A.J. and Daniels were both singles wrestlers in a tag team, and given what happened in the months ahead, the right decision was made in the booking. Pay attention to the post-match beatdown LAX gives Styles/Daniels. Is it me or is Hernandez possibly throwing the most unconvincing punches in wrestling history?

Match Rating: ***1/2. Hernandez's punches knocked this down a peg.

NWA World Heavyweight Championship
Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett (champion)
(Kurt Angle is the Special Enforcer)
* If Jarrett wins, Sting must retire.
** If Joe interferes, he will be fired.

http://www.youtube.com/v/D8HuuqjOyUw

This would be the last time Jeff Jarrett would walk down the ramp with the company&#8217;s World Championship (NWA or TNA). I thought after this main event that Jarrett would assuredly gain the championship back before Bound for Glory 2007. To his credit, he let others main event the show to this day where he still takes a backseat to others. For Sting, this is the first time in years that he wasn&#8217;t seen in the stereotypical &#8220;Crow&#8221; ring attire he usually wore. This was a hybrid of Sting&#8217;s surfer, Crow, and Wolfpac attires.
This delivered in ways one could only wish WCW would have fulfilled its main event promises. (I personally am just glad that I don&#8217;t have to hear Tony Schiavone proclaim Bound for Glory &#8220;one of the greatest nights in the history of our sport.&#8221 Angle&#8217;s involvement in the main event wasn&#8217;t a hindrance but rather an nice development on the main event match. The match wasn&#8217;t the greatest main event ever, but perhaps the match seems better since I watched on the same night as Slaughter-Hogan at Mania VII. Sting won with the Scorpion Deathlock/Sharpshooter.

Match Rating:***. The match was definitely worthy of being a main event on a PPV. After the last several matches, it might feel like some sort of a letdown. However, the match was well paced and finally brought an end to Jeff Jarrett&#8217;s main event status. Sting would lose the championship one month later to, of all people, Abyss by, of all things, a disqualification. NWA- Still 100 years behind today&#8217;s pro wrestling.

PPV Rating: ***1/2. Other than the Young-Zbyszko fiasco, every match on this PPV is worth watching at least once. I think TNA tried too hard in some of the preliminary matches to reference itself and elicit laughs. I mean, Norman Smiley? Sirelda? D-Ray 3000? Larry Zbyszko in a wrestling match in the 2000s? The promotion showed some growing pains in this PPV, but the promise of what could be was there as evident by the excellent encounter between Sabin and Senshi. Christian brought out the best of Rhino in a entertaining street fight, LAX and Daniels/Styles had a very good steel cage match, and Sting and Jarrett delivered on their main event. Combine this with a nice Monster&#8217;s Ball match and a non-Impact Zone crowd, and I give this show a solid rating and a good recommendation for those of you who haven&#8217;t seen the PPV.
_ _ _ _ _ _
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7I-YI_fiRU

&#8220;Don&#8217;t Try This at Home&#8221;
- Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards, No Way Out 2001
- The Nasty Boys vs. Team 3D, Against All Odds 2010
- Kane vs. Triple H, WrestleMania XV
- Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man, WrestleMania XV
- Scott Steiner vs. Triple H, No Way Out 2003
- The Bushwhackers vs. The Beverly Brothers, Royal Rumble 1992
- The Miz vs. The Boogeyman- Armageddon 2006
- Demolition vs. Tenryu and Kitao- WrestleMania VII
- Eric Young vs. Larry Zbyszko- Bound for Glory 2006

True Classics
Six Person Intergender Hardcore Match- ECW One Night Stand 2006
1992 Royal Rumble Match
Macho Man Randy Savage vs. The Ultimate Warrior- WrestleMania VII

For the next review, I will be taking a look at WWE Royal Rumble 2003. I have a feeling the &#8220;Don&#8217;t Try This at Home&#8221; list is about to grow by a match or two, if memory serves me correctly. This is back in the time when Al Wilson and Katie Vick were haunting WWE programming in more ways than one.

See you next time, fellow wrestling disciples.

 

[DiscipleofWrestling]

So, it’s been almost nine months, but finally… well, screw it. I’m here. If you are reading this, self high five yourself, grab your favorite beverage, and avoid messages from your Congressmen during the duration of this review.

WWE Royal Rumble 2003

In case you have forgotten….
*****- CLASSIC
****- GREAT
***- GOOD
**- Decent
*- Bad
No Stars= Stinks

The Royal Rumble is my single favorite WWE event. Many say that WrestleMania is the superior PPV because it is the show the company heralds as its “Granddaddy of them All.” While many find that to be true, I’ve always been a huge fan of the Royal Rumble concept. It’s ironic that while Vince McMahon created WrestleMania, Pat Patterson, a man remembered by another generation as a solid wrestler and remembered today for being one of the Stooges, created this concept. The thing about the Royal Rumble that I appreciate is that no one year is the same as the next. There isn’t that feeling of been there, done that with the Royal Rumble match. Every Royal Rumble match seems to have its unique personality.

2002 was unkind to the WWE and to its fans. While Shawn Michaels and Hulk Hogan made returns that no one ever expected, creatively, WWE was in a bind. Fans were increasingly turned off by the post-Attitude era and the WWE’s attempts to “entertain” the fans with such stimulating concepts as Hot Lesbian Action, Billy and Chuck as a tag team and the marriage stunt, Al Wilson getting together and dying on Dawn Marie, and the legendary Katie Vick storyline. Plus, Triple H was clearly starting to claim dominance on WWE’s flagship show, which got a little annoying after a while. Some may blame Triple H’s ego. Others may blame the lack of main event talent available to run with the championship for any great length of time. For the record, I started off being a Triple H hater over this. Over the years, I’ve began to lean towards the main event explanation.


Case in point: Big Poppa Dump of BALCO, Scott Steiner. If or how Scott Steiner ever passed a steroids test, I’ll never know. However, Steiner returned at Survivor Series and became a must-have commodity for Raw and Smackdown. Raw ended up getting Steiner and gave Steiner the #1 Contendership for the World Heavyweight Championship at Royal Rumble.

There was this other match that happened on the show that may be the most underrated match in WWE’s recent history between Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit. Benoit and Angle had a rivalry dating back to 2001 which reignited when Benoit jumped to Smackdown in the summer of 2002. But really, when it comes to Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle, to hell with storylines. The two RARELY had a bad match with each other (that one exception probably was Insurrextion 2000 from what I remember), and Benoit and Angle fighting over the WWE Championship should have made any wrestling fan consider pressing the buy button on their remotes.

On to the show…

The Road to WrestleMania is emphasized here as everyone talks about how important this year’s Royal Rumble is to “carving their spot” in WrestleMania.

The set is very impressive here as they actually have raining water beside the entrance area. This is back in the day when the entrance ramps and areas were truly distinctive from PPV to PPV.

Winner Enters Royal Rumble
Big Show (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Brock Lesnar

Big Show is wearing his Undertaker gear during this match. I think it had something to do with a back injury he suffered. Brock Lesnar throws Big Show like a rag doll around the ring with multiple suplexes. Yes, I know Big Show is helping Lesnar throw him around, but it still is impressive to see the big man take those types of bumps. This is much more of an actual match than the Survivor Series 2002 match. Lesnar reverses a chokeslam attempt into an F5! And this match is over. Decent match for what it was.

Match Rating: **. Again, it’s nothing to really point out and say “Remember when…” But it was a decent enough bout to get the job done which was make Lesnar look like a monster and get the man in the Royal Rumble match.

Terri Runnels is there interviewing Chris Jericho. God, Terri was hot! Jericho wants to go to WrestleMania. Must be a big deal.

Tag Team Championship
The Dudley Boys vs. William Regal and Lance Storm (champions)
This is an unspectacular tag team match. The teams both seem to be running through the motions of a tag team match without having a tag team match, which may sound odd. But you know when something doesn’t click. I think the WWE audience never really appreciated the wrestling skills of Lance Storm or William Regal for the most part. Regal’s been able to find a niche by having an entertaining side to him. Lance Storm could have been that as well if WWE wasn’t so busy labeling him as boring. Yes, WWE actually did a bit where they intentionally called Storm boring. Sean Morley (Val Venis) runs down to the ring distracting the ref for Regal, who had the signature brass knuckles. Those Damned Dudleys nails Regal with the 3D and D-Von hits Storm with Regal’s brass knuckles. Team 3D… The wannabe Road Warriors… I mean, The Dudley Boys win.

Match Rating: *1/2. There really isn’t much to celebrate about this match. It was as run of the mill as could possibly be.

The Women of Al Wilson Collide
Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Dawn Marie comes out with a black veil symbolizing either the death of Al Wilson or the death of the wrestling audience for watching this. This is a terrible match, absolutely without any room for credit. To even review this crap and trash would be a waste of my time. Therefore, I’m simply going to put it like this: (click the link to find out)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MRmxfLuNto

Match Rating: No Stars


http://www.youtube.com/v/tPLoy9K_XHg

Stephanie interrupts Eric Bischoff talking to a young Randy Orton. Stephanie mocks Eric’s 30 Day mandate to turn Raw around. Eric claims to have an atomic bombshell. Stephanie McMahon claims she has a bombshell of her own to drop. She claims her job is secure since blood is thicker than urine. Bischoff reminds Stephanie that money is much thicker than blood.

World Heavyweight Championship
Triple H (w/ Ric Flair) (champion) vs. Scott Steiner

Triple H walks out with Ric Flair. That’s about as glorious as this match is going to get. This match, by the way, is brought to you by the letters H, G, and another H. Scott Steiner didn’t use. Right, and Lindsay Lohan is a good spokesperson for sobriety. Earl Hebner tells Triple H and Scott Steiner that he’s not going to take any crap from either one of them. He must know how bad this is going to turn out. This match frankly was like having a hot spike driven into your skull. At least with that, you’d know there would be an end. This match dragged forever, thanks to the botches in the ring and the fact that Steiner and Triple H mixed like oil and water. This match should be considered more lethal than watching the video tape in The Ring.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgEccOAhipA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPyDbMBANtg

Match Rating: NO STARS. This match should be used on the Don’t Try This at Home promos. Why is this match such an EPIC failure? I don’t think you can pinpoint it on one single reason. For starters, Scott Steiner at this point was essentially useless. Steiner got so big that it hindered his in-ring ability dramatically. The pair of Triple H and Scott Steiner also had absolutely NO chemistry together whatsoever. I actually liked their second match better than this, and I still gave it NO STARS. There’s just nothing in this match in which to justify the sequel at all. You couldn’t have asked for a worse World Championship match to put on at the Royal Rumble. This match speaks volumes about the quality of the main event picture on Raw for most of 2003. Considering 2003 was the year Triple H spent most of his time beating stalwarts of the former WCW (Booker T, Steiner, Kevin Nash, and Goldberg all qualify in that statement), I think there’s only one justifiable video clip to show for this NO STARS rating.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3CL28vgE4U . (You knew it was coming.)

WWE Championship Match
Kurt Angle (w/Team Angle) (champion) vs. Chris Benoit

Again, to save you from reading a blow-by-blow account and with the side benefit of decelerating my chances for carpel tunnel, the following links will show you the entire match.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sw-Nxn5bj7E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XzLOK5Qe5E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74TDrL6sSzg



Match Rating: *****. This match is a technical wrestling fan’s dream come true. Benoit and Angle went out there and flat out wrestled a match. The interference didn’t influence the victory, and Angle won by catching Benoit in an inescapable submission (which few if any have ever gotten out of).

After the match, Chris Benoit received a well-deserved standing ovation.

Kane and RVD say it’s every man for himself.

Royal Rumble Match

Jericho and Shawn Michaels are the first two men in the ring. Great, right? Well, Shawn Michaels enters at #1, Jericho’s music hits but Christian comes out dressed as Chris Jericho. Jericho sneaks up behind Michaels and delivers a low-blow. Soon after, he cracks Michael’s skull open with a chair, pummels on Michaels, and dumps him over the top rope to the floor, eliminating him. This served as more fuel on the fire for the Jericho-Michaels feud.

This Rumble highlights the best and worst of WWE at this time. Edge and Rey Mysterio as well as Christian’s alliance with Chris Jericho factored in the early moments of the Rumble. Bill DeMott as a Royal Rumble entrant was not so great. Was General Rection not available? Tommy Dreamer comes out to the ring with a trashcan full of weapons. He kills everyone with his kendo stick, giving Jericho a deep, protruding bump on his forehead. Bull Buchanan, known as B-Squared here as he was just finishing his run with John Cena, lasts about 15 seconds in the Rumble. Jericho skins the cat and eliminates Edge and Christian.

The Matt Hardy V.1 video entrances are so much funnier in hindsight than they were at the time. With Matt Hardy’s recent behavior, one can actually see this character as a natural progression from the man we see on Matt Hardy’s YOUTUBE channel. When he met face to face with Jeff Hardy, the audience reacted warmly as it had been months since the Hardys were in the ring with one another. It’s a little upsetting watching this Royal Rumble seeing the wrestlers who have died since this event: Test, Jamal (Umaga), Eddie Guerrero. John Cena’s rap still sucks. It’s a good thing Rikishi isn’t around today Rikishi in a PG environment? Wasn’t that called Yokozuna? The A-Train hits the ring, or George The Animal Steele’s illegitimate son, whatever you want to call him. Shawn Michaels enters the ring going after Chris Jericho and causes him to be eliminated by Test. Michaels is going after Jericho with a vengeance. That’s a good way to set up Mania through the Rumble. You have two men in the Rumble. One causes the other to be eliminated. That person then comes back and helps eliminate the other. Goldust enters at #27 to a nice pop and NAILS Maven with the Shattered Dreams. I wonder if Anthony Weiner’s wife… never mind. Goldust is eliminated soon after. Brock Lesnar enters at #29. Why didn’t the Rumble just stop there? I mean if you are going to have Lesnar come in that late after winning a spot in the Rumble earlier in the evening, you might as well tell everyone to just jump the ropes and get it over with. Personally, I think a better story could have been told by having Lesnar enter in the mid-late teens, selling the effects of the match earlier and then win the Rumble. That’s just me. How about this for the final three entrants? In this order: Batista, Brock Lesnar, and Undertaker. Add Kane to the mix, and you have one hell of a Final Four in the Royal Rumble match. Brock ends up winning the Royal Rumble by eliminating a distracted Undertaker who had just taken out Kane and an interfering Batista.

Match Rating: ***. I’ve always had a problem with this Royal Rumble not from an entertainment standard, but rather, I think it missed out on a lot of opportunities. Brock Lesnar entering at #29 was a sure sign he was going to win the match. It destroyed the suspense of the match, and thus, it lowers my respect for the match. I think it would have been interesting to have seen Lesnar either eliminated by a distraction by Kurt Angle or enter the match from an earlier number and build up Lesnar surviving the onslaught of the Big Show and 29 other people to win the Rumble. Other than that complaint, the Rumble is fine and is an entertaining match in its own way.

Overall Show: *1/2. – I really can’t recommend this show for multiple reasons. Besides the Royal Rumble and Benoit-Angle, there isn’t much else on here that’s worth the money to buy. One decent Rumble and even a classic WWE Championship match can’t save this event from two horrific matches and two inconsequential matches. In the history of the Royal Rumble, this may be one of the, if not the, worst Royal Rumble PPV ever. I say “may” because there are other editions of the PPV that deserve a mention: 1999 and 2006 come to mind.

Next Time: I’m flipping through my impressive collection to pick a random event to review. I have chosen an event that is shockingly almost 12 years old. Yet, I would argue it is one of the most important Pay Per Views of the Attitude Era. That Pay Per View is WWF No Mercy 1999. The show featured Triple H vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin for the WWF Championship, a Good Housekeeping Intercontinental Championship Match between Chyna and Jeff Jarrett, and The Fabulous Moolah challenging for the Women’s Championship at age 76!. That’s it, right? Oh, there’s this match between two teams that never amounted to anything in a ladder match which no one enjoyed. Obviously, I’m being sarcastic, and that match is the original ladder match confrontation between Edge and Christian and The Hardy Boyz. Hopefully, I’ll have this review up between now and when The Dark Knight Rises comes to theaters.
_ _ _ _ _ _
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7I-YI_fiRU

“Don’t Try This at Home”
- Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards, No Way Out 2001
- The Nasty Boys vs. Team 3D, Against All Odds 2010
- Kane vs. Triple H, WrestleMania XV
- Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man, WrestleMania XV
- Scott Steiner vs. Triple H, No Way Out 2003
- The Bushwhackers vs. The Beverly Brothers, Royal Rumble 1992
- The Miz vs. The Boogeyman- Armageddon 2006
- Demolition vs. Tenryu and Kitao- WrestleMania VII
- Eric Young vs. Larry Zbyszko- Bound for Glory 2006
- Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson, Royal Rumble 2003
- Scott Steiner vs. Triple H, Royal Rumble 2003

True Classics
Six Person Intergender Hardcore Match- ECW One Night Stand 2006
1992 Royal Rumble Match
Macho Man Randy Savage vs. The Ultimate Warrior- WrestleMania VII
Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle- Royal Rumble 2003

See you next time, fellow wrestling disciples.