If my diary seems a little rushed or unfocused this week I apologize. You have to understand, I've been clicking off and on ESPN.com for six hours now and am already getting antsy about my first fantasy football draft. I have a disease.
9:01 - Speaking of things that are rushed and unfocused, how about that Ken Anderson title reign?
9:03 - Sting may look like The Joker, but he sounds like Jim Carrey in "The Mask."
9:05 - Did Angle wear that clown costume all week? No wonder Karen won custody.
9:07 - "You're gunna have ta work wit each otha!"
9:09 - I'm glad to see they didn't just dump Anderson from the Main Event. Good booking to help keep him, Ray, and Immortal relevant.
[COMMERCIALS]
9:14 - Devon is tied for second-place in the BFG Series right now, having as many points as AJ Styles and Robert Roode combined. Wrestling is fake.
9:16 - So while Crimson, Morgan, Gunner, and even AJ Styles are getting their points wrestling in house shows, we get to watch this on Impact?
9:18 - Could the winner of RVD/Steiner face Devon next week in a "Nobody Gives a Shit" match?
9:22 - So Steiner beats RVD's ass, RVD gets a sneaky win, and Steiner chases a ref out of the ring. What did the last eight minutes accomplish for these two men or TNA as a whole? Nothing.
[COMMERCIALS]
9:26 - Why does winning a TNA singles title immediately make people uninteresting? Mickie has been irrelevant as champion.
9:29 - Awwwwwwww.
9:30 - Mickie, your cage match with Tara "tore the roof off the Impact Zone." Your match with Velvet will barely spill a drink on the floor.
9:32 - I'm sleepy.
9:34 - So we go from a Knockouts in-ring segment to a Knockouts backstage segment? Where's Devon when you need him?!
[COMMERCIALS]
9:38 - We return to... ANOTHER Knockouts segment? Is it Breast Cancer Awareness month?!
9:40 - Joe: "I'm scorin' tonight. I'm scorin' tonight." Is he going to the prom?
9:41 - Styles/Daniels tease. Glad to see their match at Destination X actually DID happen. I was starting to think I'd dreamt the whole thing.
[COMMERCIALS]
9:47 - Okay, I'm sorry I made fun of RVD and Steiner. But this barrage of Knockouts is excessive punishment, wrestling gods!
9:49 - It's too bad Lacey Von Erich is gone. She and Tessmacher could have had a match would've shattered the space-time continuum.
9:52 - Oh look, new Knockout tag champs. You'll always remember where you were when you saw it happen!
9:53 - Tenay just said, "Mexican America had been dominant in that Knockout tag division for months." Really, Mike? For one, there are no other teams. And two, Rosita and Sarita never wrestled! But otherwise, that was spot-on commentary!
[COMMERCIALS]
10:01 - I'm sorry, but isn't it time to give Gunner some decent music? This sounds like the theme of some random Goldberg victim from WCW Thunder.
10:04 - I kinda' wanted to see Joe try and climb that ladder. Might have been amusing.
10:06 - Morgan wrestles like a heel, right down to the arrogant posing. Why don't they end the charade and and just turn him?
[COMMERCIALS]
10:11 - Tom Cruise's "witchcraft" is the star of the night so far.
10:13 - Cee Lo Green could never have been in the Nation of Domination. Not black enough.
10:14 - X-Division Title match. Will they let the division stand on its own or will Immortal come fuck it up?
10:16 - Shelley has such a star quality to him. He really could be something if they'd push him.
10:18 - Does Kendrick have to become a helpless ragdoll in every match he wrestles? It's getting redundant.
10:20 - As good as an Aries-Shelley feud will be, they really should find a way to hype the title first. Getting it off Abyss and "saving the X-Division" was just the first step. Kendrick needs a good storyline now.
[COMMERCIALS]
10:25 - So not only does Kendrick get his ass beat routinely, but he also cries backstage? Does this have something to do with the anti-bullying campaign?
10:26 - Sarita looks like a valet for Demolition.
10:29 - You know what pisses off Anarquia more than anything? Undercover cops in chat rooms.
10:31 - "Wildcat" Chris Harris is watching Storm's promo from his sofa, eating his fifth Hot Pocket.
10:33 - It really is time for Beer Money to drop those belts. The tag division is just going to hold them back at this point.
[COMMERCIALS]
10:38 - LMAO @ the "Immortal Forever" DVD. They oughta' sell that in a combo-pack with "The Best of Orlando Jordan."
10:39 - Oh no, they ruined the Mickie/Velvet match! It's like Victory Road all over again!
10:41 - Traci Brooks returns... again.
10:43 - Maybe if we hadn't seen this same segment an hour ago it'd be less boring.
10:45 - I hope I never have an emergency when I'm visiting Orlando, FL. The police response time is somewhat disturbing.
[COMMERCIALS]
10:50 - So we're going to start teasing Anderson/Ray heat already? Really?
10:54 - We've really gotta save these Borash match announcements for special occasions. This seems a bit gratuitous.
10:58 - Not much vertical in those Stinger Splashes anymore.
10:59 - So we come out of this match realizing that Sting and Angle are really good and that Ray is disappointed with Anderson. One of these things we already knew, and the other is just too damn soon coming off Anderson just joining Immortal. Ugh.
Two more Impact's until the "Hard Justice" PPV, and right now I can't say I'm feeling the card very much. Sting/Angle is alright, but what else do you have? Beer Money versus Mexican America is lackluster and we don't even have an opponent for Kendrick yet. They spent more time building up the Knockouts tonight than anything else.
9:01 - Speaking of things that are rushed and unfocused, how about that Ken Anderson title reign?
9:03 - Sting may look like The Joker, but he sounds like Jim Carrey in "The Mask."
9:05 - Did Angle wear that clown costume all week? No wonder Karen won custody.
9:07 - "You're gunna have ta work wit each otha!"
9:09 - I'm glad to see they didn't just dump Anderson from the Main Event. Good booking to help keep him, Ray, and Immortal relevant.
[COMMERCIALS]
9:14 - Devon is tied for second-place in the BFG Series right now, having as many points as AJ Styles and Robert Roode combined. Wrestling is fake.
9:16 - So while Crimson, Morgan, Gunner, and even AJ Styles are getting their points wrestling in house shows, we get to watch this on Impact?
9:18 - Could the winner of RVD/Steiner face Devon next week in a "Nobody Gives a Shit" match?
9:22 - So Steiner beats RVD's ass, RVD gets a sneaky win, and Steiner chases a ref out of the ring. What did the last eight minutes accomplish for these two men or TNA as a whole? Nothing.
[COMMERCIALS]
9:26 - Why does winning a TNA singles title immediately make people uninteresting? Mickie has been irrelevant as champion.
9:29 - Awwwwwwww.
9:30 - Mickie, your cage match with Tara "tore the roof off the Impact Zone." Your match with Velvet will barely spill a drink on the floor.
9:32 - I'm sleepy.
9:34 - So we go from a Knockouts in-ring segment to a Knockouts backstage segment? Where's Devon when you need him?!
[COMMERCIALS]
9:38 - We return to... ANOTHER Knockouts segment? Is it Breast Cancer Awareness month?!
9:40 - Joe: "I'm scorin' tonight. I'm scorin' tonight." Is he going to the prom?
9:41 - Styles/Daniels tease. Glad to see their match at Destination X actually DID happen. I was starting to think I'd dreamt the whole thing.
[COMMERCIALS]
9:47 - Okay, I'm sorry I made fun of RVD and Steiner. But this barrage of Knockouts is excessive punishment, wrestling gods!
9:49 - It's too bad Lacey Von Erich is gone. She and Tessmacher could have had a match would've shattered the space-time continuum.
9:52 - Oh look, new Knockout tag champs. You'll always remember where you were when you saw it happen!
9:53 - Tenay just said, "Mexican America had been dominant in that Knockout tag division for months." Really, Mike? For one, there are no other teams. And two, Rosita and Sarita never wrestled! But otherwise, that was spot-on commentary!
[COMMERCIALS]
10:01 - I'm sorry, but isn't it time to give Gunner some decent music? This sounds like the theme of some random Goldberg victim from WCW Thunder.
10:04 - I kinda' wanted to see Joe try and climb that ladder. Might have been amusing.
10:06 - Morgan wrestles like a heel, right down to the arrogant posing. Why don't they end the charade and and just turn him?
[COMMERCIALS]
10:11 - Tom Cruise's "witchcraft" is the star of the night so far.
10:13 - Cee Lo Green could never have been in the Nation of Domination. Not black enough.
10:14 - X-Division Title match. Will they let the division stand on its own or will Immortal come fuck it up?
10:16 - Shelley has such a star quality to him. He really could be something if they'd push him.
10:18 - Does Kendrick have to become a helpless ragdoll in every match he wrestles? It's getting redundant.
10:20 - As good as an Aries-Shelley feud will be, they really should find a way to hype the title first. Getting it off Abyss and "saving the X-Division" was just the first step. Kendrick needs a good storyline now.
[COMMERCIALS]
10:25 - So not only does Kendrick get his ass beat routinely, but he also cries backstage? Does this have something to do with the anti-bullying campaign?
10:26 - Sarita looks like a valet for Demolition.
10:29 - You know what pisses off Anarquia more than anything? Undercover cops in chat rooms.
10:31 - "Wildcat" Chris Harris is watching Storm's promo from his sofa, eating his fifth Hot Pocket.
10:33 - It really is time for Beer Money to drop those belts. The tag division is just going to hold them back at this point.
[COMMERCIALS]
10:38 - LMAO @ the "Immortal Forever" DVD. They oughta' sell that in a combo-pack with "The Best of Orlando Jordan."
10:39 - Oh no, they ruined the Mickie/Velvet match! It's like Victory Road all over again!
10:41 - Traci Brooks returns... again.
10:43 - Maybe if we hadn't seen this same segment an hour ago it'd be less boring.
10:45 - I hope I never have an emergency when I'm visiting Orlando, FL. The police response time is somewhat disturbing.
[COMMERCIALS]
10:50 - So we're going to start teasing Anderson/Ray heat already? Really?
10:54 - We've really gotta save these Borash match announcements for special occasions. This seems a bit gratuitous.
10:58 - Not much vertical in those Stinger Splashes anymore.
10:59 - So we come out of this match realizing that Sting and Angle are really good and that Ray is disappointed with Anderson. One of these things we already knew, and the other is just too damn soon coming off Anderson just joining Immortal. Ugh.
Two more Impact's until the "Hard Justice" PPV, and right now I can't say I'm feeling the card very much. Sting/Angle is alright, but what else do you have? Beer Money versus Mexican America is lackluster and we don't even have an opponent for Kendrick yet. They spent more time building up the Knockouts tonight than anything else.