6-9-11 Impact Running Diary

Rasha

Championship Contender
Sorry for the delayed posting of this week's diary. I almost didn't do one due to some personal distractions, but with this being the go-home show for Slammiversary I just couldn't skip it. How will Impact Wrestling get us hyped up for Sunday's event? Let's find out!

9:01 - Enter Hogan and Bischoff. The new colors look good on Hulk. Those 3D glasses are still a joke, though.

9:04 - Can't wait to see how Bischoff presents the X-Division going forward. The walls will be dripping with sarcasm.

9:05 - While I like more action in my show-openers, this isn't bad. At least IW is giving Sting/Anderson some main event treatment here. They seem to forget that at times.

9:07 - Hogan promising "no tricks, no run-ins, no agendas" for the World Title match. I'll believe in Triple H being named the Special Referee before I'll buy that.

9:10 - Sting equates holding the title to having "the power and the stroke" to make a difference. That's great, but so far the only difference he's made is placing a glass ceiling on the Main Event.

9:12 - I don't like Sting trying to work Hogan and calling Bischoff "the cancer." It makes sense, but it kills the Sting/Hogan rivalry. There's still some juice left there if used correctly.

[COMMERCIALS]

9:19 - Can Winter keep up in the ring with these three Knockouts? Good test for her.

9:21 - Mickie and Tara would make a nice team. Too bad there aren't tag belts for the Knockouts... oh wait.

9:23 - Winter has some serious Klingon hair going right now. Always hot.

9:24 - Yikes... AWESOME finisher by Angelina! Sting should try that with a Scorpion Death Drop, except it'd probably break his kneecap.

9:25 - Beer Money and Shelley backstage. I have no doubt Shelley will turn heel and cost them the belts. Only question now is whether or not he joins Immortal in the process.

[COMMERCIALS]

9:30 - You know that 30-day rule Bischoff hit Beer Money with? When was the last time Sarita and Rosita defended those belts? I hate selective enforcement.

9:31 - This is why I bought a high-def TV; to watch grainy cell-camera footage of a bar fight.

9:32 - That'll teach Crimson to drink the last Corona.

9:33 - "Jeff! Hey Jeff! We want to know how Karen's doing!" Speak for yourself, cameraman. And hit freakin' puberty before you speak again.

[COMMERCIALS]

9:37 - Magnus at the announce table for this match. I'd forgotten what his voice sounded like.

9:38 - It just hit me... Anarquia is the Mexican X-Pac, except the whole problem with him sucking in the ring.

9:42 - Pretty decent action so far. When will Shelley do something to cost them the match?

9:43 - Bingo!

9:45 - No offense to Anderson, but I'm pretty sure Rikishi had the biggest asshole.

[COMMERCIALS]

9:51 - Hogan has an, "oh shit, I never understood a word Konnan said either" look on his face right now.

9:52 - Did Hulk just threaten to rape Sarita and Rosita? He's worse than Karl Malone. (if you don't get that joke, look up "Karl Malone & little mexican girls")

[COMMERCIALS]

10:00 - If this feud (Kurt/Jeff) doesn't end Sunday, I'm going to attend the next Impact taping wearing a dead horse costume.

10:03 - Pretty nice mic work from Jeff right now. We could have used this segment about four or five months ago.

10:05 - I thought Kurt had two gold medals?

10:07 - So an unprovoked assault on Velvet now qualifies as "getting in my way" to ODB? Good to know.

[COMMERCIALS]

10:12 - Kaz, Kendrick, and Janice are roaming around backstage. Out of the three, I think Janice has the best mic skills.

10:13 - Bully Ray's promo just made me think of...

[YOUTUBE]3COB5g4RyYY[/YOUTUBE]

10:16 - Taz just talked about a swollen areola. Kinky.

10:18 - Of all the matches this Sunday, I'm most interested in Styles/Ray. And considering there are no titles or even a contendership on the line, that's pretty amazing.

[COMMERCIALS]

10:23 - I was so excited for Desmond Wolfe to attack Kurt in that segment from the U.K. Alas.

10:24 - The way Abyss just said "I'm just sitting here reading from the ancient Chinese warrior and philosopher, SUN TZU" made me bust out laughing.

10:25 - I think Abyss missed his true calling as a high school drama teacher.

10:26 - Kendrick saying "Frankie" is making my eye twitch.

10:28 - The Velvet/ODB brawl begins. The big question here is... will I make it through this without fast-forwarding?

10:30 - No... no I didn't.

10:34 - I just stopped skipping ahead in time to see ODB slaping her crotch repeatedly. Bad timing on my part.

10:35 - And Velvet wins. I wish I gave a fuck, but it's hard to be invested when people have had three different feuds in as many weeks.

10:36 - Some loser just added the "Intergalactic, All-Planetary, Everyting Supreme Championship" to his e-fed.

[COMMERCIALS]

10:41 - Now here are some clips from a feud (Devon/Pope) not good enough to be shown on Impact. Why f'n bother?

10:43 - So Gunner gets his own entrance, but Eric Young doesn't? And Young's the one carrying a title? I know that's picky, but come on.

10:45 - Young's beard has grown from Conan O'Brien-level to Richard Dreyfuss in "JAWS."

10:46 - Sting and Gunner in the ring together... "Captain, I'm detecting a breach in the legend-jobber continuum!"

10:47 - It's funny how Sting can cheap-shot Anderson and get cheered, only for Anderson to get booed and scolded by the commentators when he hits him back thirty seconds later. I love wrestling.

10:50 - Kind of interesting to see Sting taking the punishment here with Young on the sideline. You'd think it'd be the reverse.

10:51 - HA! I loved the green mist fakeout by Young!

10:52 - Wow, what a rub for Gunner. You've gotta' give Sting props for that one.

[COMMERCIALS]

10:56 - Now for the show-closing reaction segments. I hate these.

10:57 - Was that a fat Simon Diamond keeping Styles and Ray apart?

10:58 - Careful Anderson! Sting is lightly jogging after you!

10:59 - If Sting says "why so serious," I'm going to mark out!


And that does it. After blasting TNA for how they handled the go-home show for "Sacrifice," I want to state that I really liked what they did here. Other than the Morgan/Steiner match, everything else on the "Slammiversary" card got some attention. I'd like to have seen a little more interaction between the British Invasion and Storm/Shelley, but that match is going to be more about what Shelley does to cost them the belts anyway.

As always, hope you enjoyed the diary. See you next week!
 

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