By causing you another meltdown.
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- The dark match before today's WWE tapings in London, England at the O2 Arena saw Dean Ambrose defeat Alex Riley.
Ambrose got the win after pulling his knee pad down and hitting a running knee to Riley's head.
- Matches taped today in London to air on this week's WWE Superstars were Eve Torres vs. Kelly Kelly and R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger.
Raw is about to Start.
Cole comes out to Kerwin White's music and gets nuclear heat. King comes out to classic King music and an ovation.
Ambrose got the win after pulling his knee pad down and hitting a running knee to Riley's head.
- Matches taped today in London to air on this week's WWE Superstars were Eve Torres vs. Kelly Kelly and R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger.
Raw is about to Start.
Cole comes out to Kerwin White's music and gets nuclear heat. King comes out to classic King music and an ovation.
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Mark Henry comes out to open the show. The No DQ, No Count Out WWE Title Match with Henry and CM Punk is up first.
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Mark Henry comes out to open the show. The No DQ, No Count Out WWE Title Match with Henry and CM Punk is up first.
Punk comes out to a huge reaction. CM punk chants rock the arena. Henry gets lots of heat during the introductions. The match starts with Daniel Bryan and Sexual Chocolate chants.
Punk suicide dives Henry taking Henry down as the two brawl outside. Punk runs on the barrier and hits Henry and leaps on Henry hitting him with a clothesline from behind! Punk jumps off the apron but gets caught by Henry and dumped on the rail so begin the no chants. Punks got a chair! And blasts Henry.
Punk dodges Henry and slams into a chair he wedged into the corner earlier. Punk goes up top with chair jumps and slams chair into Henry's face for the win! Punk retains! Good match throughout.
Punk comes out to a huge reaction. CM punk chants rock the arena. Henry gets lots of heat during the introductions. The match starts with Daniel Bryan and Sexual Chocolate chants.
Punk suicide dives Henry taking Henry down as the two brawl outside. Punk runs on the barrier and hits Henry and leaps on Henry hitting him with a clothesline from behind! Punk jumps off the apron but gets caught by Henry and dumped on the rail so begin the no chants. Punks got a chair! And blasts Henry.
Punk dodges Henry and slams into a chair he wedged into the corner earlier. Punk goes up top with chair jumps and slams chair into Henry's face for the win! Punk retains! Good match throughout.
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* Chris Jericho promo is up next. Jericho vs. Punk for the WWE Title in a Chicago Street Fight is announced for Extreme Rules. Jericho taunts Punk and shows footage from earlier today of Punk entering a local bar/pub. Jericho wonders if Punk is drunk. Punk tell him to come find out and then says he was having fish and chips with his friends. Jericho says it's no longer about being the best - it's about beating Punk's ass.
* Santino Marella defeated David Otunga to retain the WWE United States Title. Santino wins a quick match with the Cobra.
* Josh Mathews is backstage with Lord Tensai. Tensai talks in Japanese and says something about knowing what to fear and fearing the unknown.
* WWE flashes a graphic touting WrestleMania 28's 1.3 million pay-per-view buys.
* Brock Lesnar promo on the big screen. Lesnar says he isn't a WWE Superstar, he's an ass kicker. Lesnar says he doesn't care about anyone and isn't here for a feel good moment. WWE needs someone to legitimize it and he's the real deal to do it. Lesnar calls John Cena fake and says everyone is tired of his bullshit. They keep bleeping him out. He says Cena is pissing and shitting himself. Lesnar says beating Cena up in the Extreme Rules match at Extreme Rules will make him happy.
* Kane defeated Zack Ryder after KO'ing him with a chokeslam. Kane talked about Randy Orton and what happened on SmackDown with Cowboy Bob Orton. They played Kane's old Man on Fire music as he left.
* Santino Marella defeated David Otunga to retain the WWE United States Title. Santino wins a quick match with the Cobra.
* Josh Mathews is backstage with Lord Tensai. Tensai talks in Japanese and says something about knowing what to fear and fearing the unknown.
* WWE flashes a graphic touting WrestleMania 28's 1.3 million pay-per-view buys.
* Brock Lesnar promo on the big screen. Lesnar says he isn't a WWE Superstar, he's an ass kicker. Lesnar says he doesn't care about anyone and isn't here for a feel good moment. WWE needs someone to legitimize it and he's the real deal to do it. Lesnar calls John Cena fake and says everyone is tired of his bullshit. They keep bleeping him out. He says Cena is pissing and shitting himself. Lesnar says beating Cena up in the Extreme Rules match at Extreme Rules will make him happy.
* Kane defeated Zack Ryder after KO'ing him with a chokeslam. Kane talked about Randy Orton and what happened on SmackDown with Cowboy Bob Orton. They played Kane's old Man on Fire music as he left.
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Kofi and AJ backstage, D Bry comes over can't here what he's saying because of yes chants. He's renamed the labelle lock the yes lock! And starts chanting yes crowd is going nuts screaming "yes!" with him.
Random we want JR chants.
Cenas out to talk. Says that WM28 could have been an end of an era, his era. Because lauranitus is like the people and would say cena sucks and wants the replace cena. Cena says he doesn't have the courage to just straight out fire cena. Says lauranitus went and got Lesnar to replace cena and that Lesnar stands for destruction. Cena says at ER he steps in the ring with a man who's soul purpose is to remove and replace him. Cena says lesnar's right and that he is afraid but April 29 he will fight.
Here comes Big Johnny!
Johnny says its the beginning of the people power era and cena will be in an extreme rules match tonight. Next Monday 3 hour RAW will have a contract signing for lesnar vs cena. Johnny isn't telling Cena who his opponent is tonight.
Daniel Bryan vs Kofi next.... YES! YES! YES!
Random we want JR chants.
Cenas out to talk. Says that WM28 could have been an end of an era, his era. Because lauranitus is like the people and would say cena sucks and wants the replace cena. Cena says he doesn't have the courage to just straight out fire cena. Says lauranitus went and got Lesnar to replace cena and that Lesnar stands for destruction. Cena says at ER he steps in the ring with a man who's soul purpose is to remove and replace him. Cena says lesnar's right and that he is afraid but April 29 he will fight.
Here comes Big Johnny!
Johnny says its the beginning of the people power era and cena will be in an extreme rules match tonight. Next Monday 3 hour RAW will have a contract signing for lesnar vs cena. Johnny isn't telling Cena who his opponent is tonight.
Daniel Bryan vs Kofi next.... YES! YES! YES!
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D Bry comes out to a huge pop! Yes chant to everything he does in the ring and no's to Kofi. Huge Daniel Bryan and yes chants. Good back and forward match Bryan wins with the yes lock crowd goes nuts!! After match he reapplied the yea lock out comes Sheamus. Bryan ducks the brogue kick and crowd chants yes!
Brodus Clay vs Dolph Ziggler. Massive heat for Vickie. Mixed reaction for Dolph.
Match is quick as swagger pulls Ziggler out an then goes for Brodus.Ziggler then sells a press slam with huge air like a champ. One of clays dancers pushes Vikki over. Now ensues the prehistoric dance session.
Next a video package for Chief Jay Strongbow. For those of you who don't know, Strongbow died last week. Crowd with respectful applause and cheering.
Here comes Khali first for a tag match playa! It's Khali and Show vs Epico and Primo
Brodus Clay vs Dolph Ziggler. Massive heat for Vickie. Mixed reaction for Dolph.
Match is quick as swagger pulls Ziggler out an then goes for Brodus.Ziggler then sells a press slam with huge air like a champ. One of clays dancers pushes Vikki over. Now ensues the prehistoric dance session.
Next a video package for Chief Jay Strongbow. For those of you who don't know, Strongbow died last week. Crowd with respectful applause and cheering.
Here comes Khali first for a tag match playa! It's Khali and Show vs Epico and Primo
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Washington is standing at the top of the stage watch Khalis (not so) greatness. Epico and Primo are looking to bail I don't blame them... But show chases. Double choke slams from the big men for the win.
John Cena comes out for his Extreme Rules match against a mystery man. That mystery man is none other than Lord Tensai.
Next up Cena and the mystery. The mystery is.... Tensai I'm shocked!!!! Not
Albert chants for Tensai. Big Johnny is ringside for the match and Tensai is dominating so far. Tensai throws cena in to the step then goes for a power bomb cena reverses the big man. Cena smashes Tensai with the steps. Satomako just got involved kicking cena in the chest.
John Cena comes out for his Extreme Rules match against a mystery man. That mystery man is none other than Lord Tensai.
Next up Cena and the mystery. The mystery is.... Tensai I'm shocked!!!! Not
Albert chants for Tensai. Big Johnny is ringside for the match and Tensai is dominating so far. Tensai throws cena in to the step then goes for a power bomb cena reverses the big man. Cena smashes Tensai with the steps. Satomako just got involved kicking cena in the chest.
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Whole Show of Tonights RAW
Dark Match:
* Dean Ambrose beat Alex Riley. Ambrose got the win after pulling his knee pad down and hitting a running knee to Riley's head.
RAW, Airing Tonight:
* Lilian Garcia opened with God Save the Queen.
* Mark Henry comes out to open the show. The No DQ, No Count Out WWE Title Match with Henry and CM Punk is up first. They have a good solid match and brawl outside the ring a lot. Punk uses a chair and other stuff. Punk ends up getting the win to retain the WWE Title after hitting an elbow drop from the top with a steel chair.
* Chris Jericho promo is up next. Jericho vs. Punk for the WWE Title in a Chicago Street Fight is announced for Extreme Rules. Jericho taunts Punk and shows footage from earlier today of Punk entering a local bar/pub. Jericho wonders if Punk is drunk. Punk tell him to come find out and then says he was having fish and chips with his friends. Jericho says it's no longer about being the best - it's about beating Punk's ass.
* Santino Marella defeated David Otunga to retain the WWE United States Title. Santino wins a quick match with the Cobra.
* Josh Mathews is backstage with Lord Tensai. Tensai talks in Japanese and says something about knowing what to fear and fearing the unknown.
* WWE flashes a graphic touting WrestleMania 28's 1.3 million pay-per-view buys.
* Brock Lesnar promo on the big screen. Lesnar says he isn't a WWE Superstar, he's an ass kicker. Lesnar says he doesn't care about anyone and isn't here for a feel good moment. WWE needs someone to legitimize it and he's the real deal to do it. Lesnar calls John Cena fake and says everyone is tired of his bullshit. They keep bleeping him out. He says Cena is pissing and shitting himself. Lesnar says beating Cena up in the Extreme Rules match at Extreme Rules will make him happy.
* Kane defeated Zack Ryder after KO'ing him with a chokeslam. Kane talked about Randy Orton and what happened on SmackDown with Cowboy Bob Orton. They played Kane's old Man on Fire music as he left.
* Backstage segment with AJ Lee and Kofi Kingston when Daniel Bryan walks up. Lots of YES chants from the crowd. He's re-named the LaBell Lock the Yes Lock.
* John Cena comes to the ring. He talks about how WrestleMania 28 could have been the end of his era and about how John Laurinaitis wants to replace him. Cena talks about Lesnar and Extreme Rules. Cena says Lesnar is right - he is afraid but he will still fight. Out comes Laurinaitis. He says it's the beginning of the People Power Era. Laurinaitis announces an Extreme Rules match for Cena tonight but won't name the opponent. He also announces a contract singing for next week's 3 hour RAW with Cena and Lesnar.
* Backstage comedy segment with Hornswoggle and R-Truth, dressed as Sherlock Holmes.
* Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan is up next. Huge YES chants for Bryan. Bryan wins after a good back and forth match with the Yes Lock, formerly the LaBell Lock. The crowd goes nuts for Bryan. Bryan re-applied the hold after the match until Sheamus came out. Bryan dodged a Brogue Kick and left as the crowd was still chanting.
* Brodus Clay beat Dolph Ziggler by DQ when Jack Swagger interfered. Vickie Guerrero got into it at ringside with one of Clay's dancers. Clay and his dancers dance in the ring to end it.
* A video for the late Chief Jay Strongbow airs.
* Big Show and The Great Khali vs. Epico and Primo is up next. Abraham Washington watches the match from up on the ramp. Show and Khali get the win after a double choke slam.
* John Cena comes out for his Extreme Rules match against a mystery man. That mystery man is none other than Lord Tensai. Laurinaitis comes out and watches Tensai dominate Cena. Cena finally makes a comeback but Sakamoto attacks him. David Otunga also got involved at one point. Tensai spit the green mist into Cena's face to get the surprising win and end RAW.
Dark Match:
* Dean Ambrose beat Alex Riley. Ambrose got the win after pulling his knee pad down and hitting a running knee to Riley's head.
RAW, Airing Tonight:
* Lilian Garcia opened with God Save the Queen.
* Mark Henry comes out to open the show. The No DQ, No Count Out WWE Title Match with Henry and CM Punk is up first. They have a good solid match and brawl outside the ring a lot. Punk uses a chair and other stuff. Punk ends up getting the win to retain the WWE Title after hitting an elbow drop from the top with a steel chair.
* Chris Jericho promo is up next. Jericho vs. Punk for the WWE Title in a Chicago Street Fight is announced for Extreme Rules. Jericho taunts Punk and shows footage from earlier today of Punk entering a local bar/pub. Jericho wonders if Punk is drunk. Punk tell him to come find out and then says he was having fish and chips with his friends. Jericho says it's no longer about being the best - it's about beating Punk's ass.
* Santino Marella defeated David Otunga to retain the WWE United States Title. Santino wins a quick match with the Cobra.
* Josh Mathews is backstage with Lord Tensai. Tensai talks in Japanese and says something about knowing what to fear and fearing the unknown.
* WWE flashes a graphic touting WrestleMania 28's 1.3 million pay-per-view buys.
* Brock Lesnar promo on the big screen. Lesnar says he isn't a WWE Superstar, he's an ass kicker. Lesnar says he doesn't care about anyone and isn't here for a feel good moment. WWE needs someone to legitimize it and he's the real deal to do it. Lesnar calls John Cena fake and says everyone is tired of his bullshit. They keep bleeping him out. He says Cena is pissing and shitting himself. Lesnar says beating Cena up in the Extreme Rules match at Extreme Rules will make him happy.
* Kane defeated Zack Ryder after KO'ing him with a chokeslam. Kane talked about Randy Orton and what happened on SmackDown with Cowboy Bob Orton. They played Kane's old Man on Fire music as he left.
* Backstage segment with AJ Lee and Kofi Kingston when Daniel Bryan walks up. Lots of YES chants from the crowd. He's re-named the LaBell Lock the Yes Lock.
* John Cena comes to the ring. He talks about how WrestleMania 28 could have been the end of his era and about how John Laurinaitis wants to replace him. Cena talks about Lesnar and Extreme Rules. Cena says Lesnar is right - he is afraid but he will still fight. Out comes Laurinaitis. He says it's the beginning of the People Power Era. Laurinaitis announces an Extreme Rules match for Cena tonight but won't name the opponent. He also announces a contract singing for next week's 3 hour RAW with Cena and Lesnar.
* Backstage comedy segment with Hornswoggle and R-Truth, dressed as Sherlock Holmes.
* Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan is up next. Huge YES chants for Bryan. Bryan wins after a good back and forth match with the Yes Lock, formerly the LaBell Lock. The crowd goes nuts for Bryan. Bryan re-applied the hold after the match until Sheamus came out. Bryan dodged a Brogue Kick and left as the crowd was still chanting.
* Brodus Clay beat Dolph Ziggler by DQ when Jack Swagger interfered. Vickie Guerrero got into it at ringside with one of Clay's dancers. Clay and his dancers dance in the ring to end it.
* A video for the late Chief Jay Strongbow airs.
* Big Show and The Great Khali vs. Epico and Primo is up next. Abraham Washington watches the match from up on the ramp. Show and Khali get the win after a double choke slam.
* John Cena comes out for his Extreme Rules match against a mystery man. That mystery man is none other than Lord Tensai. Laurinaitis comes out and watches Tensai dominate Cena. Cena finally makes a comeback but Sakamoto attacks him. David Otunga also got involved at one point. Tensai spit the green mist into Cena's face to get the surprising win and end RAW.
FunKay the Inevitable
People Like Me, We Don't Play
Was there. Was a fantastic show all round. Daniel Bryan was super over. The post-show dark match was Jericho vs. Punk for the WWE title, but it turned into a cluster-fuck filled with random as shit run-ins from Bryan, Sheamus, Del Rio, Rhodes, Show and Orton. Lots of fun and the YES! chant was in full flow.
George Steele's Barber
Advertise Here $9.95/month
Danny "Merman" could be the next great superhero gimmick. The guy can pour water on himself to give him super fish-like strength and speed.
Hyorinmaru
Sit Upon The Frozen Heavens
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BIG TNA NEWS
Hulk Hogan made a "big announcement" at Tuesday's Impact Wrestling taping in Orlando, Florida (airing this Thursday on SPIKE TV). As Eric Bischoff promised last week on Twitter, the program will feature all-new elements.
Impact Wrestling will hold "Open Fight Night" once per month as a wrestler not affiliated with TNA Wrestling will have the opportunity to earn a roster spot by competing in a match. Based on the non-affiliated wrestler's performance, three judges (including Hogan) will decide whether he or she receives a contract.
During "Open Fight Night," any TNA wrestler can challenge any wrestler on the roster, including champions. Those challenged must be ready to fight.
The Television Championship currently held by Devon will be defended every week on Impact Wrestling.
Hulk Hogan made a "big announcement" at Tuesday's Impact Wrestling taping in Orlando, Florida (airing this Thursday on SPIKE TV). As Eric Bischoff promised last week on Twitter, the program will feature all-new elements.
Impact Wrestling will hold "Open Fight Night" once per month as a wrestler not affiliated with TNA Wrestling will have the opportunity to earn a roster spot by competing in a match. Based on the non-affiliated wrestler's performance, three judges (including Hogan) will decide whether he or she receives a contract.
During "Open Fight Night," any TNA wrestler can challenge any wrestler on the roster, including champions. Those challenged must be ready to fight.
The Television Championship currently held by Devon will be defended every week on Impact Wrestling.
The Dragon Saga
Whale in a Teardrop
Antonio Cesaro (Claudio Castagnoli) made a debut, named appearance on Smackdown. Won't be missing that this week.
Thriller Ant
Beep Bop Boop
It wasn't just the dark match?
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Impact SPOILERS 4/19
- Out comes TNA World Hvt. champion Bobby Roode. Slow walk to the ring, and apparently he got a huge haircut. Some basic gloating that the crowd isn’t into to start off. He points out that James Storm’s kick won him the match at Lockdown. Psychology, folks. Some decent heel heat as Roode runs through his wins, but then is interrupted by serious-face Mr. Anderson. Anderson’s mic isn’t working very well.
Anderson says he doesn’t need a beer bottle to win. This is hilarious to Roode, who tells Anderson to get back in line. This is a cue for Jeff Hardy, who gets a louder pop and limps to the ring. He’s the most over so far, for sure, and stakes his claim to the belt. Anderson points out he was here first and calls shenanigans. Roode moderates some bickering as refs take the ring, and encourages a bake-off.
This brings Hogan to the screen. He says that he wants all the champions in the ring later, and makes a match for the number one contender slot for later in the night. As an aside, Hogan’s music sounds like a lame circus/ska remix.
– Back from break, it’s Crimson with some pyro and this cocky heel walk and gum chew. He’s apparently in a tag match with Bully Ray, who looks surprisingly younger from his late WWE days. They are fighting Matt Morgan and Austin Aries.
(1) Bully Ray & Crimson beat Matt Morgan & X Division champion Austin Aries. Morgan goes after Crimson as Aries chases Ray up the ramp. Inside the ring, Morgan dominates until some hyjinks occur. This leads to Crimson and Ray working Morgan’s leg. Morgan tempts fate by pulling Crimson’s tights uncomfortably low, then makes the hot tag. Aries cleans house, which leads to Crimson hitting Ray and being dumped outside. Aries gets in a surprising amount of offense before Ray wins with a fluke roll-up and hook of the tights on Aries. Overall, a perfectly serviceable tag match from new teams; nothing special, but a good level of offense given to “the midget,” as Ray kept screaming.
– Borash is out next to remind everyone that Eric Bischoff has lost the right to his name and is off the air. Garett is out next for a celebration.
– Back from break, Garett is out with A.J. Styles, Mr. Anderson, and RVD to celebrate. I suspect this will end in tears. Garett is just not good on the mic. He makes RVD sound brilliant. Also, if they want him to be taken seriously, perhaps he should not wear a loose-fitting plaid shirt. It’s all in the positioning.
A.J. compliments Garett on his balls at Lockdown. But, here comes Ric Flair. It’s serious suit time; no feathery robe. Flair stays on top of the ramp and claims that Eric is responsible for all the talent in the ring. Also, Garett is a punk. Wait, all of them are punks. Flair promises a party next week as a tribute to Eric Bischoff. He’s hosting it, and he’s drinking at it, and the four in the ring aren’t invited. A.J. and Anderson sell broken up. RVD just looks slightly stoned. Told you it would end in tears.
– Back from break, it’s Kurt Angle. His leg is taped and he’s ready to wrestle. Out comes A.J. Styles, who had time to change into his hoodie vest.
(2) Kurt Angle beat A.J. Styles. Basic lock-up and counters. Hey, couldn’t this be a PPV level match? It feels like something could be built here. Angle dumped to the outside, and down comes Christopher Daniels and short-haired Kaz. Daniels has a paper and encourages Kurt to get him, but Kurt seems annoyed and surprised they are here. This leads to Angle eating a move from A.J. as Daniels and Kaz sell concern. Daniels hops up on the apron as the referee politely asks him to step down. A.J. then grabs the paper as Angle rolls him up for the win. Overall, serviceable while it lasted, but this was clearly a vehicle for an angle, which is a shame.
Afterward, Angle tells A.J. he had nothing to do with the shenanigans as A.J. puts the paper in his tights. That’s what I always do when I get handed important information.
– It’s announced that Rob Van Dam is also in the main event for the #1 contender. Ring girl So Cal Val dumps two microphones next to me on a chair. Super tempted to grab one.
– After the break, TNA tag champs Samoa Joe and Magnus are out. They are joined by… Knockouts Gail Kim? Gail’s outfit does not look appropriate for ring work, but I’m sure it’s okay and perfectly normal. TV champ Devon comes out to a big pop. As in, surprisingly big. Gail has a mic. I just clued into that this is all of the champs coming to the ring. I had a really strange idea of what match was getting set up. X Division champ Austin Aries is out next, weakest pop thus far. Finally, TNA World Hvt. champion Bobby Roode. Roode is still perfecting the slow walk.
Out comes Hogan. Biggest pop and pyro thus far. Gail has ceded her mic to Roode. Hogan announces that change is in the air, and starting next week change is coming. Once a month, Impact will be called “open fight night.” Basically, a talent from outside TNA will show up to have a match. There will be three judges (smells like “The Voice”
and Hogan who will decide if the person get a contract or not.
But, there’s more!
On open fight night, anyone can come to the ring and make a challenge, and whoever the person challenges must come to the ring to fight. Roode is pissy. Hogan tells them that any champion must be ready to fight. Gail asks who decides this. Hogan decides. And, the crowd randomly chants for Miss Tessmacher. Hogan says he wants to hear who the fans want to see. Clearly, it’s the responsibility of someone to call out Hogan next week. Just saying.
Devon talks about how he promised to be a fighting champ. (Really? Wasn’t he MIA between PPVs?) Hogan announces that from now on, the TV Title will be defended every single week. Devon likes it. Hogan closes the segment with a statement that on open fight night, everyone fights. Roode looks dismayed. I shrug. Roode shrugs. We have a moment. Everyone leaves but Gail. It looks like it’s time to test that outfit.
– Mid-Show Thoughts: It dawns on me that if I’m seen on TV, it’s going to be this guy in dress clothes typing frantically. The women next to me seem both nonplussed and very bored. What is their story? Mystery of the night. The crowd is clearly hoping for Tara here. By crowd, I mean the two guys with the Team Tara t-shirts on and cardboard Knockouts belt.
– Next out are Madison Rayne and Sarita & Rosita. Whichever one in the green can’t figure out how to stand. Out come Tara and Tessmacher. Finally, Mickie James. No wait, Velvet Sky. Eight-woman tag? I’m getting why the Knockout matches are popular with the collection of 13 year-old boys at ringside.
(3) Team Tessmacher beat Team Rayne in a Knockouts tag match. Sky sstarts off with various spots and clubbering. James comes in and looks basically solid. Wasn’t she told to lose weight in the WWE? Sheesh, this isn’t a ring masterpiece, but I’d take this over Kelly Kelly in the ring any day. This whole match reminds me of a ****ty version of the cruiserweight matches in WCW during the ’90s. A lot less talent, but spots that the crowd likes and some genuine engagement from the crowd. I suppose Eric didn’t know what to do with them back then either. It turns into a Jr. High School cheerleader brawl, and Tessmacher rolls up KO champ Gail for the win, and presumably sets up a match down the road.
Afterward, there’s some bickering in the ring as Gail gives her best scowl and points to the belt. More bickering. Madison wants to go again, and the crowd is interested. Instead, they all leave.
– After the match, some guys come out to wipe down the ropes. What kind of message is that sending? Borash is giving away some tickets to meet people later, then Hemme enters the ring. apparently there is a massive U.K. contingent here tonight.
– Back from the break, it’s Gunner. Zero reaction. Meanwhile, the crowd is being urged to cheer for tickets. Out as Gunner’s opponent is Devon, who again gets a strangely loud pop. Sure, why not.
(4) TV champion Devon beat Gunner. Gunner attacks him from behind and So Cal Val takes the belt with some really good scared selling. Some of the better selling tonight. Also, she let me take a photo of the belt, so she’s a good egg. This isn’t such a good match. Also, both men seem blown up after 60 seconds. TNA encourages a “Devon” chant as he tries, but he’s no Kurt Angle, and Gunner is no sack of flour. Devon wins. Apparently he will be defending the title every week going forward. Testify!
– James Storm is out next, looking sheepish, as if he recently lost a big match in his hometown. I know this because of the nice recap at the start of the show. Thanks, TNA. James Storm is sorry. The crowd says it’s okay. Very supportive crowd. Storm said he wasn’t just trying to hurt Roode, but cause him pain. Um…okay. Storm starts talking about tucking his daughter into bed, then she asked him where the belt was. Sadly, he had to tell her that he lost. Didn’t she order the PPV?
Storm says that Roode didn’t beat him, but that he beat himself. Storm then cites the crowd for his inspiration, and thanks his dad up in Heaven, who was killed by a drunk driver. (Wasn’t his team *Beer* Money? Odd.) But, wrestling is what he loves. He’s kind of all over the map here. Storm says maybe his luck has run out and he leaves. The crowd is dismayed. “Well, that sucks,” says Val next to me.
– Next, they set up for the main event #1 contender three-way match between RVD, Mr. Anderson, and Jeff Hardy. Also, the next PPV is Sacrifice. Yep… RVD comes out to a good pop. Anderson does his own announcement, which wakes the crowd up, but in the battle of crowd reactions, RVD has him beat by a mile. Hardy’s pop is okay, but RVD had the best reaction. Much of the crowd is just standing there, and Hardy is mumbling to himself. One of the U.K. people gets his shirt, and she seemed happy, then hung it over the fence barrier. RVD’s the champ of the crowd. By the way, TNA, don’t just cut off wrestlers’s music. Fade it out. It’s more classy.
(5) Rob Van Dam beat Jeff Hardy and Mr. Anderson in a three-way match to become new #1 contender to the TNA World Title. Typical three-way action with each wrestler getting a chance for a few moves on offense. Again, little reaction to Hardy’s moves. Not enough teenage girls to paper the crowd with? Anderson on top, then RVD, then Hardy, then Anderson. Very structured momentum here. The ref then finds Anderson’s gum and tosses it out. It’s these details you miss on TV. Hardy goes up for the Swanton and nails Anderson, and the crowd finally comes alive for Hardy. RVD goes for the big splash on Anderson, Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, RVD reverses it, and scores the pin. The crowd is happy and RVD is the new #1 contender.
– More wiping down of the ropes. An Xplosion match is up next.
Xplosion match: Daniels beat TNA tag champion Magnus. Daniels works the crowd well, but the U.K. crowd is clearly behind Magnus. Daniels doing heel things like selling, smirking, and playing a heel. Dear Gunner, consider watching Daniels. The crowd is also more alive for this than the main event. For the finish, Kaz comes out, distraction, roll up, Daniels wins.
Afterward, Magnus clobbers Daniels some for revenge, but is over-run by Kaz and Daniels. Out comes Joe and the ramp sounds like it’s about to implode as he runs down it. Joe scares off the heels and it’s posing time. Again, nice huge crowd reaction. Seems legit.
- Out comes TNA World Hvt. champion Bobby Roode. Slow walk to the ring, and apparently he got a huge haircut. Some basic gloating that the crowd isn’t into to start off. He points out that James Storm’s kick won him the match at Lockdown. Psychology, folks. Some decent heel heat as Roode runs through his wins, but then is interrupted by serious-face Mr. Anderson. Anderson’s mic isn’t working very well.
Anderson says he doesn’t need a beer bottle to win. This is hilarious to Roode, who tells Anderson to get back in line. This is a cue for Jeff Hardy, who gets a louder pop and limps to the ring. He’s the most over so far, for sure, and stakes his claim to the belt. Anderson points out he was here first and calls shenanigans. Roode moderates some bickering as refs take the ring, and encourages a bake-off.
This brings Hogan to the screen. He says that he wants all the champions in the ring later, and makes a match for the number one contender slot for later in the night. As an aside, Hogan’s music sounds like a lame circus/ska remix.
– Back from break, it’s Crimson with some pyro and this cocky heel walk and gum chew. He’s apparently in a tag match with Bully Ray, who looks surprisingly younger from his late WWE days. They are fighting Matt Morgan and Austin Aries.
(1) Bully Ray & Crimson beat Matt Morgan & X Division champion Austin Aries. Morgan goes after Crimson as Aries chases Ray up the ramp. Inside the ring, Morgan dominates until some hyjinks occur. This leads to Crimson and Ray working Morgan’s leg. Morgan tempts fate by pulling Crimson’s tights uncomfortably low, then makes the hot tag. Aries cleans house, which leads to Crimson hitting Ray and being dumped outside. Aries gets in a surprising amount of offense before Ray wins with a fluke roll-up and hook of the tights on Aries. Overall, a perfectly serviceable tag match from new teams; nothing special, but a good level of offense given to “the midget,” as Ray kept screaming.
– Borash is out next to remind everyone that Eric Bischoff has lost the right to his name and is off the air. Garett is out next for a celebration.
– Back from break, Garett is out with A.J. Styles, Mr. Anderson, and RVD to celebrate. I suspect this will end in tears. Garett is just not good on the mic. He makes RVD sound brilliant. Also, if they want him to be taken seriously, perhaps he should not wear a loose-fitting plaid shirt. It’s all in the positioning.
A.J. compliments Garett on his balls at Lockdown. But, here comes Ric Flair. It’s serious suit time; no feathery robe. Flair stays on top of the ramp and claims that Eric is responsible for all the talent in the ring. Also, Garett is a punk. Wait, all of them are punks. Flair promises a party next week as a tribute to Eric Bischoff. He’s hosting it, and he’s drinking at it, and the four in the ring aren’t invited. A.J. and Anderson sell broken up. RVD just looks slightly stoned. Told you it would end in tears.
– Back from break, it’s Kurt Angle. His leg is taped and he’s ready to wrestle. Out comes A.J. Styles, who had time to change into his hoodie vest.
(2) Kurt Angle beat A.J. Styles. Basic lock-up and counters. Hey, couldn’t this be a PPV level match? It feels like something could be built here. Angle dumped to the outside, and down comes Christopher Daniels and short-haired Kaz. Daniels has a paper and encourages Kurt to get him, but Kurt seems annoyed and surprised they are here. This leads to Angle eating a move from A.J. as Daniels and Kaz sell concern. Daniels hops up on the apron as the referee politely asks him to step down. A.J. then grabs the paper as Angle rolls him up for the win. Overall, serviceable while it lasted, but this was clearly a vehicle for an angle, which is a shame.
Afterward, Angle tells A.J. he had nothing to do with the shenanigans as A.J. puts the paper in his tights. That’s what I always do when I get handed important information.
– It’s announced that Rob Van Dam is also in the main event for the #1 contender. Ring girl So Cal Val dumps two microphones next to me on a chair. Super tempted to grab one.
– After the break, TNA tag champs Samoa Joe and Magnus are out. They are joined by… Knockouts Gail Kim? Gail’s outfit does not look appropriate for ring work, but I’m sure it’s okay and perfectly normal. TV champ Devon comes out to a big pop. As in, surprisingly big. Gail has a mic. I just clued into that this is all of the champs coming to the ring. I had a really strange idea of what match was getting set up. X Division champ Austin Aries is out next, weakest pop thus far. Finally, TNA World Hvt. champion Bobby Roode. Roode is still perfecting the slow walk.
Out comes Hogan. Biggest pop and pyro thus far. Gail has ceded her mic to Roode. Hogan announces that change is in the air, and starting next week change is coming. Once a month, Impact will be called “open fight night.” Basically, a talent from outside TNA will show up to have a match. There will be three judges (smells like “The Voice”
and Hogan who will decide if the person get a contract or not.But, there’s more!
On open fight night, anyone can come to the ring and make a challenge, and whoever the person challenges must come to the ring to fight. Roode is pissy. Hogan tells them that any champion must be ready to fight. Gail asks who decides this. Hogan decides. And, the crowd randomly chants for Miss Tessmacher. Hogan says he wants to hear who the fans want to see. Clearly, it’s the responsibility of someone to call out Hogan next week. Just saying.
Devon talks about how he promised to be a fighting champ. (Really? Wasn’t he MIA between PPVs?) Hogan announces that from now on, the TV Title will be defended every single week. Devon likes it. Hogan closes the segment with a statement that on open fight night, everyone fights. Roode looks dismayed. I shrug. Roode shrugs. We have a moment. Everyone leaves but Gail. It looks like it’s time to test that outfit.
– Mid-Show Thoughts: It dawns on me that if I’m seen on TV, it’s going to be this guy in dress clothes typing frantically. The women next to me seem both nonplussed and very bored. What is their story? Mystery of the night. The crowd is clearly hoping for Tara here. By crowd, I mean the two guys with the Team Tara t-shirts on and cardboard Knockouts belt.
– Next out are Madison Rayne and Sarita & Rosita. Whichever one in the green can’t figure out how to stand. Out come Tara and Tessmacher. Finally, Mickie James. No wait, Velvet Sky. Eight-woman tag? I’m getting why the Knockout matches are popular with the collection of 13 year-old boys at ringside.
(3) Team Tessmacher beat Team Rayne in a Knockouts tag match. Sky sstarts off with various spots and clubbering. James comes in and looks basically solid. Wasn’t she told to lose weight in the WWE? Sheesh, this isn’t a ring masterpiece, but I’d take this over Kelly Kelly in the ring any day. This whole match reminds me of a ****ty version of the cruiserweight matches in WCW during the ’90s. A lot less talent, but spots that the crowd likes and some genuine engagement from the crowd. I suppose Eric didn’t know what to do with them back then either. It turns into a Jr. High School cheerleader brawl, and Tessmacher rolls up KO champ Gail for the win, and presumably sets up a match down the road.
Afterward, there’s some bickering in the ring as Gail gives her best scowl and points to the belt. More bickering. Madison wants to go again, and the crowd is interested. Instead, they all leave.
– After the match, some guys come out to wipe down the ropes. What kind of message is that sending? Borash is giving away some tickets to meet people later, then Hemme enters the ring. apparently there is a massive U.K. contingent here tonight.
– Back from the break, it’s Gunner. Zero reaction. Meanwhile, the crowd is being urged to cheer for tickets. Out as Gunner’s opponent is Devon, who again gets a strangely loud pop. Sure, why not.
(4) TV champion Devon beat Gunner. Gunner attacks him from behind and So Cal Val takes the belt with some really good scared selling. Some of the better selling tonight. Also, she let me take a photo of the belt, so she’s a good egg. This isn’t such a good match. Also, both men seem blown up after 60 seconds. TNA encourages a “Devon” chant as he tries, but he’s no Kurt Angle, and Gunner is no sack of flour. Devon wins. Apparently he will be defending the title every week going forward. Testify!
– James Storm is out next, looking sheepish, as if he recently lost a big match in his hometown. I know this because of the nice recap at the start of the show. Thanks, TNA. James Storm is sorry. The crowd says it’s okay. Very supportive crowd. Storm said he wasn’t just trying to hurt Roode, but cause him pain. Um…okay. Storm starts talking about tucking his daughter into bed, then she asked him where the belt was. Sadly, he had to tell her that he lost. Didn’t she order the PPV?
Storm says that Roode didn’t beat him, but that he beat himself. Storm then cites the crowd for his inspiration, and thanks his dad up in Heaven, who was killed by a drunk driver. (Wasn’t his team *Beer* Money? Odd.) But, wrestling is what he loves. He’s kind of all over the map here. Storm says maybe his luck has run out and he leaves. The crowd is dismayed. “Well, that sucks,” says Val next to me.
– Next, they set up for the main event #1 contender three-way match between RVD, Mr. Anderson, and Jeff Hardy. Also, the next PPV is Sacrifice. Yep… RVD comes out to a good pop. Anderson does his own announcement, which wakes the crowd up, but in the battle of crowd reactions, RVD has him beat by a mile. Hardy’s pop is okay, but RVD had the best reaction. Much of the crowd is just standing there, and Hardy is mumbling to himself. One of the U.K. people gets his shirt, and she seemed happy, then hung it over the fence barrier. RVD’s the champ of the crowd. By the way, TNA, don’t just cut off wrestlers’s music. Fade it out. It’s more classy.
(5) Rob Van Dam beat Jeff Hardy and Mr. Anderson in a three-way match to become new #1 contender to the TNA World Title. Typical three-way action with each wrestler getting a chance for a few moves on offense. Again, little reaction to Hardy’s moves. Not enough teenage girls to paper the crowd with? Anderson on top, then RVD, then Hardy, then Anderson. Very structured momentum here. The ref then finds Anderson’s gum and tosses it out. It’s these details you miss on TV. Hardy goes up for the Swanton and nails Anderson, and the crowd finally comes alive for Hardy. RVD goes for the big splash on Anderson, Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, RVD reverses it, and scores the pin. The crowd is happy and RVD is the new #1 contender.
– More wiping down of the ropes. An Xplosion match is up next.
Xplosion match: Daniels beat TNA tag champion Magnus. Daniels works the crowd well, but the U.K. crowd is clearly behind Magnus. Daniels doing heel things like selling, smirking, and playing a heel. Dear Gunner, consider watching Daniels. The crowd is also more alive for this than the main event. For the finish, Kaz comes out, distraction, roll up, Daniels wins.
Afterward, Magnus clobbers Daniels some for revenge, but is over-run by Kaz and Daniels. Out comes Joe and the ramp sounds like it’s about to implode as he runs down it. Joe scares off the heels and it’s posing time. Again, nice huge crowd reaction. Seems legit.
The Dragon Saga
Whale in a Teardrop
No. Laurinitas was shown inviting him into his office to discuss a contract. Angle on Smackdown seems to be Johnny focused on bringing in new talent.
FunKay the Inevitable
People Like Me, We Don't Play
He had the dark match and then appeared with Aksana, Teddy Long and Johnny Ace backstage where upon Ace was "excited to finally meet him".
Yeah he garnered some solid heat when he came out for his match vs. Riley on Monday.
With Sandow getting Vignettes, Cesaro debuting in Europe (logical) and Ambrose all but confirmed to be on his way Hunter's 3/3 in calling up the guys who are ready. He's got the remember to maintain the ballance between calling up the good guys to TV and bleeding FCW dry, which helps nobody.
The Man They Call WMD
Check Out My Spoiler Page
- FCW star Antonio Cesaro, formerly known as Claudio Castagnoli, will make his WWE TV debut this Friday night on SmackDown, taped on Tuesday in London.
Cesaro appears in a backstage segment with Aksana. She introduces him to Teddy Long as her new friend, a European Rugby player. Cesaro had a meeting set up with John Laurinaitis and was welcomed into his office by SmackDown's new General Manager.
Cesaro appears in a backstage segment with Aksana. She introduces him to Teddy Long as her new friend, a European Rugby player. Cesaro had a meeting set up with John Laurinaitis and was welcomed into his office by SmackDown's new General Manager.
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