Week of 7/2/2018 - 7/8/2018

Discussion in 'The Weekly Wrestling Review' started by klunderbunker, Jul 9, 2018.

  1. klunderbunker

    klunderbunker Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House

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    Monday

    Monday Night Raw
    Date: July 2, 2018
    Location: Denny Sanford Premier Center, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
    Commentators: Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole

    We’re getting closer to Extreme Rules but we’re missing a lot of the extreme. At the moment we have one match with any kind of a gimmick announced with Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler in an Iron Man match. Other than that we might get to find out what Roman Reigns and Bobby Lashley are fighting for since Brock Lesnar might not be working Summerslam. Let’s get to it.

    The opening recap looks at Lashley and Reigns’ issues, including losing a match to the Revival to even their series. The third match is tonight. We also look at the Intercontinental Title match with Drew McIntyre costing Seth Rollins his rematch.

    Here’s Reigns for a chat. He knows Lashley is a tough guy and that means he wants a fight right here right now. Lashley is an egomaniac so let’s do this. Instead here are Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre, to say Reigns couldn’t mind his own business last week. The fight is on in a hurry with the numbers taking Reigns down until Rollins runs in for the save.

    Back from a break with Rollins and Reigns running into Kurt Angle in the back. The tag match is made for next week. Reigns wants it tonight but Reigns and Lashley are teaming up against the Revival. AGAIN. Actually hang on though as Angle makes Rollins/Reigns vs. McIntyre/Ziggler tonight. No word on if the Revival match is still on or not.

    Matt Hardy vs. Curtis Axel

    Bray Wyatt isn’t here tonight because of a car wreck on Friday, but of course WWE can’t possibly blame his absence on the B Team. That might make too much sense and they might have to write something original so it’s not in the cards. Nah instead here’s the B Team parodying Wyatt and Hardy again because it’s funny (pal). Matt shoves him down and Bo Dallas offers Curtis some advice.

    A neckbreaker gives Matt two but it’s too early for the Twist of Fate. Back from a break with Axel hitting a bad looking dropkick and a backbreaker gets two. Hardy sends him into the buckle and grabs the Side Effect for two. The Twist of Fate is loaded up but Dallas offers a distraction, allowing Axel to post Hardy. The Axhole ends Hardy at 9:30.

    Reigns and Rollins are talking about Seth’s Iron Man match when Lashley comes in. He wants to fight Reigns too but they’ll get it together tonight. Reigns says all Lashley has to do is stand on the apron and smile while collecting the win. Lashley is ready to fight now but they’ll work together tonight.

    We recap Sasha Banks and Bayley exploding (again) last week.

    Earlier today, Bayley went to counseling and Sasha was there too. Dr. Shelby (of Team HELL NO anger management fame) is their therapist and is ready to take them into the friend zone. Inside his office, Shelby goes over the seven tenants of friendship. More on this later because we have a running joke.

    Titus Worldwide vs. Authors of Pain

    Titus actually powers Rezar into the corner to start and brings Apollo in with Akum following him. A Dominator plants Crews as Cole spits out adjectives to describe the Authors. You know, because a team of powerful monsters need descriptions. There’s a powerbomb/neckbreaker combination to Crews and Titus is sent shoulder first into the post. The Last Chapter ends Crews at 2:56.

    Kevin Owens is just arriving and looks very nervous about leaving his car. A valet comes up and asks for his keys but Owens says no chance.

    Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre

    Ziggler and Rollins start with an early cradle getting two on Seth. Another rollup gets the same so Seth dropkicks him into the corner. Drew comes in to run Rollins over and a shove by the throat puts him down again. It’s off to Reigns who is powered into the corner so Drew can punch him in the head.

    The Samoan drop is broken up and McIntyre runs Reigns over again. A superkick gives Ziggler two but one heck of a right hand knocks him out of the air. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Rollins as the pace picks up. A suicide dive hits McIntyre and an apron kick into the frog splash gets two with McIntyre diving in for the save. Rollins and Ziggler exchange rollups until Dolph is sent to the floor.

    That means a dive off the post to both villains and we take a break because the match needs to keep going instead of going home after a hot ten minutes. Back with Rollins fighting out of Ziggler’s sleeper and sending him into the corner. McIntyre is right around the other side to pull Reigns off and break up the hot tag, so Rollins kicks him in the face. Now it’s time for the hot tag but the Revival pulls Reigns off the apron for the DQ at 15:49.

    Post match the Revival beats Reigns down as Rollins takes the Claymore/Zig Zag combo. Reigns takes a Shatter Machine for a bonus.

    We look back at Strowman flipping Owens’ car last week.

    Owens complains to Angle about Strowman so Angle makes a match between them for tonight.

    Bayley and Sasha are still at therapy with Bayley ranting about something we can’t hear.

    Here’s Constable Baron Corbin to talk about how his job is to make everyone better. Last week he pulled Finn Balor from the ring because Balor was clearly tired. When he tried to talk strategy with Balor, he was attacked so the fight was on. Corbin wants Balor to come out here and apologize so here’s Balor, who doesn’t seem interested in apologizing.

    Instead Corbin goes first and gives him some backhanded compliments, with Balor insulting Corbin’s clothes and haircut. That sends Corbin over the edge so Balor accuses him of being Stephanie’s stooge. Corbin punches him in the face but gets knocked to the floor, only to leave before Balor can dive. This is all fine as long as it doesn’t lead to Stephanie showing up to collect Finn’s balls.

    Elias is playing in the background when the Riott Squad comes up. He plays a bit more as they wreck stuff.

    Ember Moon vs. Liv Morgan

    Liv slaps her hard to start so Ember tosses her to the floor for a very early break. Back with Ember going for an ankle lock but getting enziguried for her efforts. Liv actually wins a slugout and shouts that Moon is nothing, earning her a toss into the corner. A double stomp brings her out of said corner and the Eclipse gives Moon the pin at 7:26.

    Back in the office, Dr. Shelby is at his breaking point but he has the two of them talk as each other. This of course required them to imitate each other because that’s funny see. They argue again and Shelby screams a lot.

    Revival vs. Bobby Lashley/Roman Reigns

    Reigns and Dawson start things off with Roman powering him into the corner. Dawson takes a breather on the floor and Reigns refuses to tag Lashley in. Back in and Dawson punches away at Reigns’ ribs, which were banged up earlier tonight. Some stomps set up a bodyscissors to keep Reigns in trouble as he can’t get anything going.

    A gutbuster gives Wilder two and another shot to the ribs cuts off Reigns’ comeback. There’s a hard whip into the corner to cut Dawson off but Reigns still won’t tag. Instead it’s Lashley coming in without a tag for a pair of spinebusters but Reigns shakes off the offer of a tag. Revival unloads on him in the corner and that’s a DQ at 7:11.

    Post match Lashley walks away while Reigns takes another Shatter Machine and a top rope splash. Fans: “ONE MORE TIME!”

    Owens begs Angle to cancel the match tonight, offering to organize his office or give him some Shania Twain tickets while Owens babysits his kids. Angle says no, so Owens says Angle doesn’t deserve Shania Twain tickets.

    Back from a break and we look at Reigns getting beaten down again.

    Reigns comes in to see Lashley and the match is on for Extreme Rules.

    No Way Jose is in the ring for a match with Mojo Rawley but Rawley says he’s paid too many dues to let something like this happen. He’s sacrificed everything for this opportunity and all Jose can do is dance. Mojo decks him from behind and beats up a member of Jose’s conga line. They brawl some more and Mojo gets the better of it. I find myself more and more interested in this story every week.

    We recap Ronda Rousey snapping into a suspension.

    Earlier today, Rousey said she’ll be in the front row at Extreme Rules.

    Mickie James vs. Nia Jax

    Alexa Bliss is with Mickie. Before the match, Nia talks about thinking she was done with Bliss for ever but we’re right back where we started. This needs to end so let’s make it an Extreme Rules match. Reality seems to set in for Bliss but it gets worse as Nia brings out Natalya to be in her corner. Mickie can’t do anything with Nia to start and gets thrown down in a heap. A trip tot he floor doesn’t go well for Mickie either and it’s a big staredown as we take a break.

    Back with Mickie baseball sliding her off the apron and kicking away at the leg. A kick to the head keeps Nia in trouble and a running dropkick takes the knee out again. With Nia down, Mickie goes with just punching the knee but Nia grabs a bodyscissors for an escape. Mickie’s kick to the head is blocked so she slaps Nia in the face. A sitout powerbomb crushes Mickie and Natalya intercepts Bliss. The Samoan drop is good for the pin on James at 9:51.

    Owens is trying to learn breathing techniques from Jinder Mahal but gets interrupted by an interviewer. Tonight, Owens is going to show the world how to destroy a monster.

    We take another look at Reigns getting beaten down.

    Lashley says Reigns got what he asked for. Reigns never would have been the guy if Lashley had been here.

    Pay per view rundown.

    Remember earlier tonight when we looked back at Owens’ car being destroyed? Well here it is again.

    Kevin Owens vs. Braun Strowman

    Owens gets shoved down, rolls outside and runs away for the countout at 51 seconds.

    Strowman gives chase so Owens runs into his car, only to not have his keys. Instead, he hides in a well placed portable toilet as Strowman arrives. The fans try to tell Strowman where Owens is as Strowman looks into the car window. He teases going back inside but puts the pieces together. Using a falsetto voice, Strowman asks if anyone is in there and Owens gives himself away.

    Strowman wraps duct tape around the thing to seal Owens inside before dragging the toilet and Owens back into the building. We watch as Strowman drags him all the way back into the arena (which takes a good few minutes) and up onto the stage. Of course it’s knocked off the stage and Owens emerges covered in blue liquid. If you listen carefully, you can hear Vince dying with laughter about Owens being “COVERED IN BLUE STUFF” for the next five hours to end the show.

    Results
    Curtis Axel b. Matt Hardy – Axhole
    Authors of Pain b. Titus Worldwide – Last Chapter to Crews
    Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler via DQ when the Revival interfered
    Ember Moon b. Liv Morgan – Eclipse
    Roman Reigns/Bobby Lashley b. Revival via DQ when Revival double teamed Reigns
    Nia Jax b. Mickie James – Samoan drop
    Braun Strowman b. Kevin Owens via countout

    Tuesday

    Smackdown
    Date: July 3, 2018
    Location: Century Link Center, Omaha, Nebraska
    Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

    We’re less than two weeks away from Extreme Rules and the top story around here is the reunion of Daniel Bryan and Kane, who got back together last week and are already receiving Tag Team Title shot at the pay per view. Other than that we’re getting closer to Rusev Day where Rusev might win the WWE Championship. Let’s get to it.

    We open with a recap of Kane returning to help Bryan last week. You know what we haven’t opened with either tonight or last night? An In Memory Of Matt Cappotelli graphic. Couple that with the lack of a Vader tribute video (on TV at least, as they did have one on YouTube) and WWE is really slacking in this area as of late.

    Renee Young brings out Kane and Bryan for a chat. Bryan says the team is unstoppable and Kane mentions some of the things they’ve had to do over the years. Kane says they’ve always been friends...but Bryan actually brings up their bad history together, including that time Kane tried to end his career and kidnap Brie Bella. Kane: “Yeah…..TRIED!” They get into the required YES/NO argument and here are the Usos to cut them off. Jey: “Hey what up Kane!”

    Jey goes over some more of the team’s history but doesn’t think they should be getting a title shot. They get a title shot because they’re out here HUGGING? The Usos hug four times so they should get four title matches. The challenge is thrown out but Kane says they need to consider this as a team. Bryan doesn’t think much of this because Kane still thinks he’s the weak link. Cue Paige to confirm the Bryan and Kane will get the shot at the “Smackd” (yes Smack D, minus the own at the end) titles. Tonight though they’re facing the Usos, who will be added to the title match if they win.

    Jeff Hardy explains why bald eagles are cool and has a US Open Challenge tonight.

    Asuka is ready to beat up James Ellsworth tonight.

    US Title: Jeff Hardy vs. ???

    Hardy is defending against….The Miz, and thankfully they actually mention Miz beating Hardy in a Money in the Bank qualifying match. I’m rather surprised and pleased. A sitout jawbreaker has Miz in early trouble but it’s too early for the Twist of Fate. Miz bails from the threat of a Swanton and we take a break.

    Back with Jeff fighting out of a chinlock but getting kicked down for two. That gets several replays before Jeff fights back with some of his usual, including a forearm and the legdrop between the legs. Some right hands send Miz outside but a missed charge into the barricade takes us to a second break after only being back for a few minutes.

    Back again with Jeff hitting a spinning kick to the chest but favoring his leg, which Miz worked on during the break. Miz hits the running corner clothesline but misses a top rope ax handle, allowing Jeff to score with the Whisper in the Wind for two. A rollup with feet on the ropes gives Miz the same so he gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Jeff to hit the Twisting Stunner and a Swanton to retain at 16:25.

    Extreme Rules rundown. Two gimmick matches (an Iron Man match and an Extreme Rules match) aren’t exactly enough to live up to the show’s name.

    James Ellsworth is posting in front of a mirror and promises to show that men are the superior gender.

    Byron Saxton is in the ring, wearing a straw hat for….oh holy sweet goodness….the Third of July Pancake Eating Contest. The participants (of course New Day) all get introductions, including a few biographical details (Woods was born in a barrel of butcher knives and raised in a forest fire) but Big E.’s is so long that Byron just skips it. There’s a five minute clock and the pancakes are red, white and blue. The lights go out a few seconds in and here’s Sanity from behind to beat New Day down. I’ve never been so glad to see Eric Young. Big E. is thrown over the announcers’ table and Woods is elbow dropped through the table.

    We look at the famous Battle of the Sexes tennis match to set up Ellsworth vs. Asuka.

    Asuka vs. James Ellsworth

    Carmella comes out for commentary but hang on a second as Ellsworth needs to do some pushups. A single push puts Ellsworth on the floor and Asuka unloads on him with right hands into the airplane spin. Ellsworth needs to stop for a breath so Asuka slaps the heck out of him. That’s enough for Ellsworth who runs into the crowd and it’s a double countout at 1:53.

    Asuka chases Ellsworth back to ringside and gets hit with the belt.

    Bryan has a list of things Kane has done to him over the years and wants an apology for all of them. Kane apologizes for everything and says Bryan is like a brother to him. Bryan: “You set your brother on fire!” Kane: “That’s…..never mind!” Kane talks about how important this is and asks if Bryan is ready. I’ll let you fill in the details.

    Hardy vs. Nakamura is confirmed for Extreme Rules. Again, no gimmick attached.

    Here’s AJ Styles for a match but first he talks about facing someone bigger and stronger than he is at Extreme Rules. That’s what he loves to do though because it’s another challenge. Rusev has been saying that he’s coming to take the title and throw him out. AJ: “Does he think this is rental property?” Cue Rusev to say he’s going to throw AJ out of the house that he built and move in on RUSEV DAY.

    AJ Styles vs. Aiden English

    Non-title. Rusev says he forgot to tell AJ something so English jumps him from behind. Rusev: “Never mind!” We take an early break and come back with English grabbing a neckbreaker for two. Not that it matters as the Calf Crusher makes English tap at 4:30.

    Post match Rusev beats Styles down.

    The Iconics are ready for Becky Lynch tonight.

    Carmella yells at Ellsworth when Paige comes up. Next week it’s Asuka vs. Ellsworth in a lumberjack match.

    Becky Lynch vs. Peyton Royce

    Neither gets an entrance, but we got to see more from Ellsworth so it’s all fine. Peyton wastes no time in dropping Becky with a Samoan drop for two and it’s off to an abdominal stretch. That’s switched into a seated abdominal stretch but Becky is back up with the Bexploder. Becky slips out of a fireman’s carry and the Disarm-Her makes Royce tap at 3:32.

    Nakamura promises to strip away Jeff’s pride, honor and title.

    Usos vs. HELL NO

    If the Usos win, they’re added to the Tag Team Title match at Extreme Rules. Bryan drop toeholds Jimmy down to start and puts on the surfboard. A corner dropkick seems to wake Jimmy up for some reason so it’s off to Jey, who gets dropkicked as well. Kane comes in and misses an elbow but shoves both twins over the top at once. They pull Kane out with them though and it’s back to back dives to drop Bryan and Kane as we take a break.

    Back with Bryan speeding up things up and hitting another running dropkick on Jey in the corner. There’s a super hurricanrana and the YES Kicks have Jey in even more trouble. The Usos finally get their stuff together and take Bryan down with Jimmy stomping away in the corner. A backbreaker/middle rope chop combination gets two and the Usos make a wish on Bryan’s legs.

    Back up and a double clothesline allows the hot tag to Kane but he’s kicked to the floor without much effort. Jey charges into an uppercut but it’s time for the superkicks. Back to back double superkicks put Bryan down and get two on Kane and it’s time to go up. The Double Us is caught by the throat, allowing Bryan to knee Jey down and Kane to chokeslam Jimmy for the pin at 12:38.

    Bryan and Kane do the YES pose and hug, only to be cut off by the Bludgeon Brothers. A big staredown ends the show.

    Results
    Jeff Hardy b. The Miz – Swanton Bomb
    Asuka vs. James Ellsworth went to a double countout
    AJ Styles b. Aiden English – Calf Crusher
    Becky Lynch b. Peyton Royce – Disarm-Her
    HELL NO b. Usos – Chokeslam to Jimmy

    Wednesday

    NXT
    Date: July 4, 2018
    Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
    Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson

    We’re well on the way to Takeover: Brooklyn with the NXT Title match pretty clearly set and that’s going to make for some interesting weeks ahead. NXT knows how to build up a card in a hurry and I’m looking forward to see what else we get on the upcoming show. Things are good around here and they could get even better so let’s get to it.

    Opening sequence.

    Dakota Kai vs. Santana Garrett

    They shake hands to start and the bigger Garrett runs her over without much effort. Garrett grabs something close to a Black Widow and then switches to a Muta Lock. Since that can’t last long, Kai pops up with an enziguri. Some facewashes rock Garrett and the running sunset flip Backstabber gives Kai the win at 3:37.

    Otis Dozovic was at the Performance Center earlier today, talking about wanting a juicy steak. He finds Tucker Knight down and holding his knee, which is a way to write Knight out for their match later. Knight had to miss the show due to his wife having a baby, but NXT is smart enough to come up with a quick story to cover that. Perhaps blaming it on their opponents tonight? As in unlike this week on Raw where WWE made sure to NOT blame the B Team for Bray Wyatt being gone.

    Here’s Shayna Baszler for a chat. She talked about going rabid at Takeover to defeat Nikki Cross. Baszler wants more competition and isn’t scared of anyone like Bianca Belair, Kairi Sane or Candice LeRae. It’s so bad that they have to have another Mae Young Classic because she’s out of people to beat up. Not that it matters because the answer will always be the same. They’ll go to sleep and you’ll hear “AND STILL your NXT Women’s Champion!” Baszler is nailing the character as well as anyone I’ve seen in a long time and this was good, cocky arrogance.

    Danny Burch gives an update on Oney Lorcan: he has a broken orbital bone but has already undergone surgery. They’re looking at about three months on the shelf but then it’s time for a run at the Tag Team Titles. The Undisputed Era comes in to say they’re coming for the Titles next week because they’re invoking their rematch clause. Oh and Burch is kind of a loser. Burch brings up their success against the Era and challenges Adam Cole to a match next week. Cole laughs and accepts.

    Video on War Raiders.

    We look back at Tommaso Ciampa challenging Aleister Black for the NXT Title. The match is in three weeks on TV. I’m hoping they don’t change the title and then rush a third Ciampa vs. Gargano match for Brooklyn.

    The Mighty vs. Otis Dozovic

    Otis wastes no time in running them both over and BLASTS Thorn with a right hand to the side of the head. Miller is sent face first into the buckle but Thorn gets in a cheap shot from behind to knock him to the floor. Some double teaming has Dozovic in trouble and we hit the neck crank. That’s fine with Dozovic, who suplexes both of them at the same time for a breather. Running splashes in the corner keep the Mighty in trouble but Dozovic misses a Vader Bomb. Miller shoves him into a clothesline to the back of the head for the pin at 5:52.

    Bianca Belair is on her honeymoon and laughs off the idea of all these women trying to say they deserve to be #1 contender. I mean, are they Bianca Belair? Then they don’t belong at the front of the line.

    Kairi Sane wants to face Vanessa Borne next week.

    Velveteen Dream vs. Chris Dijak

    Dream doesn’t seem impressed, not even looking at Dijak as he comes to the ring. Dijak doesn’t seem impressed when Dream strikes his pose and suplex throws him down with ease. A superkick makes things worse and Dream gets tossed away again in a great power display. Dream finally gets in a few shots and turns up the aggression, including a hip swivel neckbreaker. A chinlock doesn’t work as Dijak fights up with some hard rights and a discus big boot for two. Dream gets sent to the floor so Dijak heads up but gets pulled down, sending him face first into the steps. Back in and the twisting DDT ends Dijak at 5:02.

    Dream poses post match but EC3’s entrance for the main event cuts him off. Dream isn’t pleased.

    Moustache Mountain is ready to defend the belts next week.

    EC3 vs. Johnny Gargano

    Gargano is all fired up and punches EC3 out to the floor so it’s a headlock to calm things a bit (EC3: “SETTLE DOWN!”) back inside. That just earns him a Thesz press and some forearms but EC3 chops his way to freedom. A running flip neckbreaker gets two and it’s off to a nerve hold on Gargano. EC3 sends him hard into the corner to bang up the neck again and it’s back to the nerve hold.

    Back up and Gargano hits some shots to the head, followed by the slingshot spear. EC3 is rocked and a suicide dive makes things even worse. They get back inside and a hard clothesline drops Gargano again but he spins away and takes EC3 down. The Gargano Escape is broken up so Gargano tries a triangle choke. That’s reversed into a big sitout powerbomb for two but Gargano goes mega angry and kicks EC3’s head off.

    The knee is exposed ala Ciampa but EC3 cuts him off. That’s fine with Gargano, who takes him down into the Gargano Escape. A rope grab breaks that up as well so Gargano puts it on again, still next to the rope (on purpose as he just wants to be violent). With EC3 basically done, a hanging DDT is good for the pin at 10:04.

    Results
    Dakota Kai b. Santana Garrett – Sunset flip Backstabber
    The Mighty b. Otis Dozovic – Clothesline to the back of the head
    Velveteen Dream b. Chris Dijak – Wind up DDT
    Johnny Gargano b. EC3 – Hanging DDT

    Thursday

    Impact Wrestling
    Date: July 5, 2018
    Location: St. Clair College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
    Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis

    We’re getting closer to Slammiversary and things are starting to take shape. The stories around here are getting better but they still don’t have that one big blow away idea that could get them some staying power. That’s been the case for a long time though and unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Let’s get to it.

    We open with a recap of last week’s show in rapid fashion.

    Opening sequence.

    Rich Swann vs. Fenix

    This could be good. Feeling out process to start with Swann doing about eight nipups in a row to get out of a wristlock. That’s fine with Fenix who bounces on the top rope to send Swann outside. You wouldn’t be able to do that. The fans chant for both these guys as they miss kicks and trade forearms for a standoff. Swann gets kicked to the floor but avoids a dive, setting up a dropkick off the apron to put Fenix down.

    Back in and Fenix gets caught on top, banging up his knee in the process. The knee is fine enough to moonsault into an armdrag though as these two just don’t stop. There’s the big flip dive to the floor but Fenix misses a moonsault back inside. Of course he keeps backflipping though and cutters Swann for another close two.

    Fenix’s Lethal Injection is countered with Swann standing on his hands (of course) so Fenix has to try it again, this time connecting for a double knockdown. Back from a break with a chop off until Swann gets two off a fisherman’s buster and a middle rope 450. Fenix is right back with an over the shoulder sitout Tombstone for two of his own, followed by a Muscle Buster spinning into a driver for the pin at 13:30.

    Post match OVE runs in to beat Fenix down but Pentagon makes the save. Fenix is helped up but Pentagon turns on him, only to unmask as Sami Callihan. Swann tries to make a save but gets caught in the numbers game. Cue the real Pentagon for the save and a big flip dive. That probably sets up a six man and I could go for that as Pentagon is looking more and more like a superstar every week.

    The announcers preview the rest of the show.

    KM shouts an apology to Fallah Bahh and promises to prove his loyalty tonight.

    Allie and Madison Rayne are ready to face the monster Su Yung and her undead bridesmaid. Allie knows you need light and darkness and Yung brought out another side of her.

    Killer Kross vs. Fallah Bahh

    This better be a squash. Bahh can’t run him over to start and Kross drives him into the corner without much effort. A running splash in the corner and a bunch of chops are no sold and Kross hits a running clothesline of his own. Some shots to the head rock Bahh and a Saito suplex puts Bahh down. A standing choke knocks Bahh cold for the win at 2:27.

    Post match Kross stays on him but KM comes in for the save. That earns him a beating too so Petey Williams runs down with a chair. Two shots to the back have no effect so he pelts the chair at Kross’ head to knock him outside. I’d call it a stretch to put Bahh out there as Kross’ first opponent (and Kross didn’t really have any impressive offense aside from the suplex) but a character like this shouldn’t be selling anything for a long time. Williams is now next on the list, but him being able to knock Kross outside should have taken a few weeks, not on the first night.

    Jimmy Jacobs says he’s ready to send Kongo Kong after Brian Cage because Kong has beaten everyone he’s gone against. Cage is the bad guy who snapped when he lost his first match, but Kong is just doing what a monster does. Jacobs wants Cage to lose and because he’s a princess, he gets everything that he wants.

    Clip of Rob Van Dam vs. Sting from Slammiversary 2010.

    The Desi Hit Squad is excited for their win but Gama Singh comes in to say follow his instruction if they want to become World Champions. It’s all about bringing honor to India. As it always is.

    A silhouetted woman is coming.

    Su Yung/Undead Maid of Honor vs. Allie/Madison Rayne

    The fight starts early with Rayne and Allie hitting stereo Thesz presses. Allie sends the Maid into the corner to start and gets two off a Russian legsweep. Yung comes in for a side slam/sliding neckbreaker combination but Allie crawls over for the tag to Rayne. Everything breaks down and the Chance of Rayne (A cutter. Just because her name is Rayne doesn’t mean every one of her big moves has to be a rain pun.) drops Yung.

    It’s not even good for a cover as Yung gets up and tries the Panic Switch, which bumps the referee. Rayne hits Cross Rayne (What does that even mean?) but Tessa Blanchard runs in to jump her from behind. Blanchard beats her down while Allie fights with the bridesmaids. The hammerlock DDT is broken up by Allie and another Cross Rayne ends the Maid at 6:04.

    Konnan says he has proof of who attacked him and LAX is nervous. King wants to see the proof and gets very defensive about it.

    Singh trains the Hit Squad in the rain.

    OVE, with Sami in Pentagon’s mask, speaks high school Spanish before yelling about Pentagon ruining everything. The six man is set for next week.

    Austin Aries talks about wanting to be a wrestler growing up and paying a lot of dues. That’s different than Moose, who was an NFL player who was handed everything and then got a pass into wrestling because he was an athlete somewhere else. Aries doesn’t need a coach to make a game plan for him. After Slammiversary, Moose will be lucky to make the XFL. Now that’s taking it too far.

    Konnan is on the phone and says he’s exposing the fake King for what he is.

    A bloody Tommy Dreamer rants about Eddie Edwards throwing everything away because of an obsession. He doesn’t want to see Eddie go down that path and be right about everything. Of course he isn’t sleeping with Eddie’s wife because she’s 25 years old and look at Dreamer. Now it’s Dreamer who is obsessed with Eddie.

    The House of Hardcore rules match is set for Slammiversary.

    The announcers run down some of Slammiversary’s card and next week’s show.

    Katarina vs. Rebel

    Grado is out with Katarina, hopefully meaning he doesn’t talk. They trade some rollups to start until a headscissors sends Rebel into the corner. Rebel scores with a flapjack and a torture rack drop (which looked weird as Katarina is so tall) but gets caught in a sloppy tornado DDT. A Rock Bottom backbreaker ends Rebel at 3:05.

    Post match Grado does the Shawn Michaels pose in front of Katarina. I didn’t find the goofy guy with the beautiful girlfriend trope funny when Santino Marella did it so many times and I don’t find it funny here.

    Post break Grado and Katarina are in the back when Katarina says she has a surprise for him. Joe Hendry, a Scottish wrestler, comes in and sings about how he makes things better in Impact. That could be interesting, especially if it splits up Grado and Katarina.

    Kongo Kong vs. Brian Cage

    Kong wins an exchange of shoulders so Cage hurricanranas him to the floor, followed by a big no hands flip dive. Or as Callis describes it, “WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT???” Back in and Kong counters a powerbomb with a hurricanrana out of the corner of his own. A World’s Strongest Slam drops Kong again and there’s a 619 just because he can. Cage gets two off a German suplex but Kong’s chokeslam is good for the same. Kong goes up but Cage catches him in a top rope superplex to shake the ring. An F5 gives Cage the pin at 5:05.

    Here’s Konnan to offer his evidence. First though he calls out King, who Konnan says put a hit out on him. Konnan was the one who bailed King out of a lot of trouble, including possible domestic violence. King wants the proof so here it is: those calls that King said Konnan made to give him orders from the hospital never happened. King is exactly what he used to be: a talking glory hole. Fans: “GLORY HOLE!” Josh: “It’s trending on Twitter.”

    King admits that he did it because Konnan’s time is over. Konnan needs to leave before he gets shot in the back of the head like Old Yeller. Santana and Ortiz are told to pick their side and they flip King off. Konnan says King didn’t get the job done but he says he did. Cue Homicide and Hernandez to beat down Konnan, Santana and Ortiz, doing their best Paul Heyman/Randy Rose/Dennis Condrey pose to end the show. I liked this a lot and while it’s copying the Midnight Express angle from 1988, it was a great angle and took place thirty years ago. If this is anywhere near as good, they’re in outstanding shape.

    Results
    Fenix b. Rich Swann – Muscle Buster driver
    Killer Kross b. Fallah Bahh – Choke
    Madison Rayne/Allie b. Su Yung/Undead Maid of Honor – Cross Rayne to Maid
    Katarina b. Rebel – Rock Bottom backbreaker
    Brian Cage b. Kongo Kong – F5

    Friday

    Nothing.

    Saturday

    Nothing.

    Sunday

    Nothing.

    Quick Results

    Monday Night Raw
    Curtis Axel b. Matt Hardy – Axhole
    Authors of Pain b. Titus Worldwide – Last Chapter to Crews
    Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler via DQ when the Revival interfered
    Ember Moon b. Liv Morgan – Eclipse
    Roman Reigns/Bobby Lashley b. Revival via DQ when Revival double teamed Reigns
    Nia Jax b. Mickie James – Samoan drop
    Braun Strowman b. Kevin Owens via countout

    Smackdown
    Jeff Hardy b. The Miz – Swanton Bomb
    Asuka vs. James Ellsworth went to a double countout
    AJ Styles b. Aiden English – Calf Crusher
    Becky Lynch b. Peyton Royce – Disarm-Her
    HELL NO b. Usos – Chokeslam to Jimmy

    NXT
    Dakota Kai b. Santana Garrett – Sunset flip Backstabber
    The Mighty b. Otis Dozovic – Clothesline to the back of the head
    Velveteen Dream b. Chris Dijak – Wind up DDT
    Johnny Gargano b. EC3 – Hanging DDT

    Impact Wrestling
    Fenix b. Rich Swann – Muscle Buster driver
    Killer Kross b. Fallah Bahh – Choke
    Madison Rayne/Allie b. Su Yung/Undead Maid of Honor – Cross Rayne to Maid
    Katarina b. Rebel – Rock Bottom backbreaker
    Brian Cage b. Kongo Kong – F5
     
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