klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Generation Me has been released from TNA.
Orlando Jordan is gone as well. No real shock either way.
Smackdown got a 1.73.
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 11, 2011
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
It's the go home show for MITB and things should be rather interesting here. It's probably going to be either Punk's last or next to last Raw so the talking could be great. With Vince being around now there's a chance he might pop up too. Also we'll get some build for the MITB match itself. The interesting thing though is that the guys just got back from Australia so they're likely going to be tired from the flight. Let's get to it.
Heres Punk to open the show with a bullhorn. He also grabs a headset and says something to the producer on it that we cant here. Punk sits in the ring and asks if he has everyones attention now. He says recapping is in order in case you didnt watch, which he didnt because he wasnt on, so last week he was suspended for what he said a few weeks ago. Punk sums it up by saying he gets in trouble for saying things that no one else has the balls to say.
He demonstrates the bullhorn in case the mic is cut off. The fans are totally behind him here and theres a loud CM PUNK chant. He says hes here because Vince wants to sign him to a very long and lucrative contract to WWE. Oddly enough all hes ever wanted is a microphone. I think you can buy one for like 12 bucks at Wal-Mart dude. Punk says hes been doing what Vince has wanted to do for years: making the WWE relevant in the real world.
That has only happened twice apparently: when Punk talks and when someone dies (no names mentioned). Everyone from ESPN to E is calling him for his story. Punk finds it funny that only now is Vince begging him to stay. If Vince had treated him like this for the last five years, there wouldnt be so much ammo built up for him to use. Punk wants a live contract negotiating tonight in which Vince might have to join Punks version of Vinces old kissing club.
Cue Cena who says cut the music. Punk thanks him for getting him a job back that he didnt even want. He says hes going to change the look of the title when he wins it because its been far too ugly for far too long. Punk points out that Cena isnt going to be fire because he was once before and it lasted like a week. Cena: You done? Punk: Probably not but would you like to say something?
Cena says that Punk has been talking about how hes walking out of Chicago with the title and theres nothing that can stop him. Cena is no pushover though and now lets talk about the word wrestler. People have said for years that Punk is great and that Cena is what the company thinks is great. Everyone has said that Punk is great over the years and a lot of names are mentioned including Eddie and Angle. Well see how great they both are on Sunday. A GM E-Mail says Vince is on the way and Cena is in action next.
John Cena vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty
Cena vs. McGillicutty to start and Cena treats the champions like the jobbers they are, sending him to the floor as we take a quick break. Back with Cena in a chinlock, apparently due to interference from Otunga. STF attempt doesnt work and its off to Otunga. The match is completely boring as the announcers rant about how important the title is. You know, that belt that they made a second version of at the drop of a hat.
Cena takes Otunga down and its off to McGillicutty who gets dominated. You Cant See Me and theres the Shuffle. AA is broken up by Otunga and they hit an atomic drop/dropkick combination for two. Superplex by McGillicutty is blocked and theres the top rope Fameasser to set up the STF but Otunga makes the save again. Well at least it hasnt been total Cena dominance. And never mind as the AA ends McGillicutty at 9:56.
Video on Henry being all dominant and evil lately.
Vickie is coaching Dolph on how to talk to Vince tonight. The US Title needs to be the premiere title apparently so Punk and Cena need to be fired. Vickie imitates Vince before Drew pops up and imitates him. Dolph makes fun of Vince and they all make fun of his breath. Vickie snorts when she laughs and Vince pops up behind them (big pop). Tonight theyll be in a handicap match against Big Show. They leave and Vince is asks for a message for the people. He doesnt want to talk to the people right now.
Kelly Kelly vs. Melina
The Bellas are on commentary. Jerry gets on Cole for saying theres a way to tell the Bellas apart which they say doesnt exist. Kelly is in trouble early but takes over, uses a Stinkface for no apparent reason and hits the K2 to retain at 1:45. Total nothing match.
Post match the Bellas say Kelly is way to skinny and wears way too much makeup. They beat her down and Eve comes out for the save. The Bellas leave her laying.
Quick recap of Miz destroying Riley after losing to him last week.
Heres Miz and there are ladders everywhere. He climbs up to the top of one underneath the MITB case. He knows what it means to win the case and be world champion. Hes taken that path before and since hes the future, hell do it again. Miz says hes used to being above everyone else because hes the best. Cue Swagger who points out that hes won the case and the title before. Miz: If someone cashed in MITB and no one remembers it, did it really happen?
Cue Bourne who says hes tired of hearing about what theyve done so hes going to talk about what hell do Sunday. Bourne gets a running start and slides into the ring feet first with no hands. Heres Kofi who says the exact same thing that everyone else in the match is going to come out and say. He talks about Edge getting hurt in these matches or something like that. Truth comes out and talks about beating Cena recently. Hes afraid of heights too, and there better not be any spiders on the ladder because hes afraid of them too. If he opens that case and theres a spider, the grits will hit the pan.
Heres Riley because six promos about one match isnt enough. He comes out at a spring and Miz runs. Heres Alberto in a Mercedes. He got rid of Rey and now has to do all this all over again. Oh and something about destiny. An E-Mail makes a six man that starts right now.
The Miz/Jack Swagger/R-Truth vs. Alex Riley/Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston
No Alberto or Rey here. Back with the match already in progress with Bourne vs. Swagger. Off to Miz as Cole talks about how awesome Miz is. Everyone beats down Bourne for a bit with Truth in the ring at the moment. Bourne gets a knee to the face and its hot tag to Kofi. He comes in off a springboard and starts jumping all over the place. Boom Drop to Truth. He loads up Trouble in Paradise but stops to hit Swagger.
Theres the springboard cross body to Truth but Miz saves. Truth knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kofi getting beaten down by Miz. Off to Truth who gets a two count. Kofi manages to get a double DDT to Truth and Swagger and tags Morrison. He hits a bunch of stuff on Swagger and beats on Miz a bit because he can. Everything breaks down and Riley hits the inverted DDT on Swagger for the pin at 10:45 total.
Everyone hits their finishers post match until Alberto comes out and destroys everyone with the ladder, including throwing it at Mizs arm. Bourne was holding his ankle too.
We recap the ending of Raw last week with Vince and Cena talking about everything involving Punk. If Cena loses at the PPV hes fired.
McIntyre/Ziggler vs. Show up next.
Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler vs. Big Show
Show is all mad here. Ziggler starts and looks at Show. He tags out immediately so Show beats them both up. Show dominates Drew as Ziggler hides. Drew tries to leave and gets mauled by Show. McIntyre gets thrown up the stage and its a countout at 2:00.
Show sets to chokeslam McIntyre off the stage but Henry comes out of nowhere and tackles both of them off the stage. Henry goes flying also. Drew just kind of disappears.
Henry doesnt want help to the back.
We get a clip of Alberto destroying everyone earlier, setting up a long highlight video on MITB matches.
We run down the card for the PPV.
Punk and Vince are up next.
Vince comes out three times because the reaction isnt strong enough for him. No handshake for Cole. He shakes hand with someone at ringside that is either famous or really lucky. Theres a table and a red carpet in the ring. He doesnt want to negotiate in person but hell do it here. He wants to get this over with so get out here. Punk imitates Vinces walk as is required by WWE law.
Vinces chair falls down as he sits in it. The contract has the provision for a Punk collectors cup in it apparently. Punk talks about how this contract proves that Vince has no faith in Cena. Vince says he couldnt live with himself if Punk somehow wins the title on Sunday. He actually calls Punk Phil. Punk doesnt like the contract thats made up so he had his lawyers make a new one. Punk has already signed this one.
One of the provisions is he gets to push Vince. Apparently Punk wants respect or hes leaving with the title. Apparently that wasnt a provision. The first is that he wants a jet. As in a new one, not Vinces because that one smells. Punk wants his face on the Tron, the buckles, spoons, knives, forks, cups, everything. HE WANTS THE ICE CREAM BARS BACK!!! Punk is officially better than everyone. That actually gets a HUGE reaction.
He wants CM Punk The Movie. You can even call it the Chaperone II, although his will be funny and successful. Oh and the main event of Wrestlemania will be Punk vs. whomever hes against. The last major perk is that he wants an apology for the suspension and for Vince being a huge hypocrite. As far as the anti-bullying campaign goes, Vince is one of the biggest bullies Punk has ever met. The fans are eating up every word Punk says.
Punk says his friends have worked here and they have been fired. Vince says they deserved to be fired and Punk says that Vince is out of touch for firing people like Luke Gallows and Colt Cabana. Vince doesnt want to apologize so Punk throws the table over. The fans want something that was either ice cream or wrestling. Vince doesnt care what the people want and Punk says thats the point.
The fans want an apology right now and Vince actually says hes sorry. The fans chant for Colt Cabana as Vince picks up the contract to sign it. Heres Cena though who points out that even though the fans are cheering for him now, Punk is walking out on them Sunday. Cena calls him a terrorist and says theyre both like kids. Cena says he hates Vince too and makes stupid jokes.
Now we get to the awesome stuff. Cena tells Punk that hes lost sight of what got him here. Punk talks about how at Wrestlemania 23 he was riding on the side of Cenas car with a Tommy gun, saying that he promised himself that one day he would be in the ring with Cena instead of watching him. Boston prides itself on being the underdog but now Cena is the WWE Champion and has become exactly what he hates. Now he and Vince are the New York Yankees. Cena drills him and Punk bails. Apparently the man Vince shook hands with was Cenas dad.
Punk sits on the stage and says that illustrates why he wants to leave. Hes tired of all this and hes leaving on Sunday. Say goodbye to the WWE Title, say goodbye to John Cena and say goodbye to CM Punk. He tears up the contract and does You Cant See Me to end this. The ending segment ran a bit too long and it hurt things.
Results
John Cena b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty AA to McGillicutty
Kelly Kelly b. Melina K2
Evan Bourne/Alex Riley/Kofi Kingston b. The Miz/R-Truth/Jack Swagger Inverted DDT to Swagger
Big Show vs. Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre went to a double countout
Tuesday
Raw got a 2.9. Ouch.
NXT
Date: July 12, 2011
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal
Were somehow in week 19 of this show. Think about that for a minute and try not to have your head explode. This season started on March 8. What I want to know is what theyre waiting on. I mean do they really not have six guys they can throw on here? Anyway we now have three finalists left again and theres not much else to say here because the shows are the same all around again. Lets get to it.
We open with a recap of Bateman returning and he and Bryan winning last week.
Bateman opens the show and says this is his show, calling it the Super Terrific Derrick Bateman Happy Hour Extravaganza. He talks about how awesome he is and how hes here to save the show. The fans really dont seem all that into him here which is rather surprising. After he runs his mouth for a bit, heres Darren Young to read off his resume which is really all hes capable of doing anymore. Also ONeil has nothing on him. Bateman agrees that Young is good but not as good as Bateman.
Cue that leprechaun music to get on my nerves again. Titus comes out and barks a lot but Bateman cuts him off. When theyve gotten to the point that theyre calling each others lines before they happen, youve been on this show too long. Bateman says ONeil will be going for cheap pops which Bateman is the master of. So youre the Master Bateman? Someone pop in a DX reunion DVD. The jokes have to be better than this. Anyway Maryse comes out and makes a triple threat.
Darren Young vs. Titus ONeil vs. Derrick Bateman
Bateman grabs a quick rollup for two to start. That gets him nowhere though so Titus clears the ring because he can. The two others decide to double team Titus to take him down as we enter into the standard operating procedures for bad triple threat matches. Bateman gets a splash for two. Bryan is the only pro out here. Double suplex gets two on Titus.
This is elimination apparently. The fans are a bit bored so they cheer for Bryan. The boring double beatdown continues for awhile until Titus wakes up for a bit, only to get taken down again almost immediately. Bateman is sent to the floor as Titus hits Clash of the Titus on Young but Bateman steals the pin. Back from a break with Titus throwing Bateman around for fun. Bateman goes for the knee and its off to a chinlock to make sure we dont get excited about anything.
Nice loud chops by Bateman finally wake up the crowd for a few seconds. Titus takes over and chops even harder. And never mind as its back to Batemans control to waste even more time. Titus starts his comeback and hits a backbreaker but barks instead of covering. Fall away slam gets two. Titus goes up and tries a middle rope clothesline but Bateman ducks and ONeil kind of hits Batemans back. Bateman hits the stupid headlock mat slam/weak bulldog for the pin at 13:53 shown.
Video on Money in the Bank.
Yoshi is back at his shrine or whatever. Striker asks why hes keeping the broken action figure and apparently its something about honor. Tyson vs. Tatsu III tonight.
Pretty long video on Punk vs. Cena.
Horny is drinking root beer because hes sad about Maryse. A guy comes up with a package for him and its from a secret admirer. He thinks the candy in it is from Maryse.
JTG thinks he can make Kozlov gangster and they make a bet. Gee do you think this is going to result in Kozlov wearing a funny costume?
Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd
Regal wants to know why its called a rubber match. Kidd stalls a lot before we get going. Yoshi grabs the arm to start which is rather quickly countered. Dropkick by Kidd misses and Yoshi hammers away, sending Kidd to the floor. Kidd takes over once theyre back inside and chokes him on the ropes. Tatsu comes back but the Canadian hits a Russian legsweep to the Japanese off the middle rope.
Back from a break with Kidd holding a headscissors on the mat. Yoshi gets up and gets a sloppy crucifix for two. Kidd gets a floatover neckbreaker for two. Isnt it great to see two pros get the final ¼ of a show about rookies? Off to a chinlock as the crowd is coming out of their seemingly eternal slumber a bit here. Regal keeps me sane by talking about how when he had a heart attack his ex wife immediately wrote for an ambulance.
Yoshi gets a big kick to put both guys down for a count, reaching seven. Heres Yoshis comeback and he goes old school with a slingshot. Here are some more kicks but Kidd kicks Yoshis knee out. Dropkick to the side of the head gets two for Kidd. Sharpshooter is blocked and Kidd is sent back to the floor. A dive is blocked by a kick to the head of Tatsu though but Kidds springboard elbow is blocked. Kidd gets crotched on the top but blocks a superplex. Moonsault misses and Tatsu gets a rollup for the pin at 11:20.
Kidd jumps him post match and resteals the leg of the action figure. It was stolen in the first place?
Results
Derrick Bateman b. Titus ONeil and Darren Young Headlock into a mat slam to ONeil
Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyson Kidd Rollup
Wednesday
Nothing of note today, as is usually the case on Wednesday.
Thursday
Bound For Glory will be in Philadelphia.
Impact Wrestling
Date: July 14, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Its the first show post Destination X and most importantly its the Midsummer Nightmare. The main event is Sting vs. Anderson for the title in Andersons first match I believe. Hes also in Immortal now and since they have all the power, Id bet a lot on Sting getting the title back since thats what almost always happens: one side gets all the power including the title and then they lose it on the next show. Lets get to it.
We open with a Bully Ray narrated video about the whole Sting vs. Anderson feud and title match tonight. Hogan comes out in a tuxedo along with Immortal. There are various women with them too. Even Abyss is in most of a tuxedo. Everyone is in a tux here. No Anderson though. Theres a card table in the ring and Bischoff sends the girls away. Eric says theyre here to gamble with some peoples careers, because they can according to Hulk.
Bischoff talks about the party that Anderson threw for himself a few weeks back that no one came to. Tonight Immortal is making up for it though because Anderson is part of the family now. The party tonight is in celebration of Anderson as the world champion. Here comes the champ in a camouflage tuxedo. When I woke up today, I really didnt think Id see one of those but I guess you never know what youre going to see.
Hogan says he and Anderson havent seen things eye to eye forever for the most part. However theres always been the constant of them both wanting to be the best they could possibly be. Hulk calls him champ and formally welcomes him into Immortal. Anderson says this is a gamble to join Immortal but as long as Bischoff and Hogan live up to their promise of him being the top card in the deck, its a gamble hes willing to take.
The lights go out and Sting is at the card table. He says he heard someone say gamble and wanted to join in. Eric accused Sting of being the cancer and that tonight Anderson gets rid of it. Sting asks if Eric wants to bet on that because they have a poker table here. Sting sees himself becoming champion tonight and kicking off his crusade of bringing the company back to Dixie Carter. Didnt he start that months ago?
Hogan threatens Sting with attacking him and says that Sting is leaving on a stretcher. Sting freaks out and says no a lot. Even Sting is starting to worry about himself. Sting says Hogan is wrong about that because he has a lot of aces in the whole, such as the Network Ace. He recalls that the Network told Hogan and Bischoff that theyre on a short leash with little room for error. Apparently any shenanigans will bring about someone with a bigger bite than Stings.
Sting says he has a lot of magic bullet aces. Theyre magic because theyll just appear. He points to the rafters and there are four clowns up there. Eric: Youre a freak! Sting: Why thank you Eric! Sting says hes all in tonight (hasnt he said that before?) and turns over the poker table before leaving. We go to a break with Immortal being confused.
Bound For Glory Series Standings with 8 weeks to go:
Crimson 31
Gunner 21
Devon 21
Matt Morgan 14
AJ Styles 14
James Storm 14
Rob Van Dam 14
Bully Ray 14
Scott Steiner 7
DAngelo Dinero 0
Bobby Roode 0
Samoa Joe 0
Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Roode vs. DAngelo Dinero
No entrances other than the very ending of Joes music. Joe jumps Roode to start us off and hammers him down in the corner. Pope heads to the floor and Roode gets crushed in the corner. Pope stays on the floor as Roode makes a comeback with the spinebuster. His arm gives out though and Pope comes back in, hitting an STO for two. With Joe down Pope takes over on Roode, working over the arm.
The fans are behind Bobby here. Pope gets a DDT for two but Hebner looked like he counted REALLY slow on the three. Middle rope fist gets two for Pope. Joe finally starts getting back in but Pope knocks him right back. DDE misses and Roode fires off some clotheslines. Russian legsweep puts Pope down and Joe is knocked back to the floor again. Blockbuster hits for a close two.
We finally get everyone in the ring at once and Roode gets a Perfectplex on Joe for two. Joe gets the Clutch but we get the Austin vs. Hart at Survivor Series 96 ending as Roode climbs the ropes and goes backwards onto Joe for the pin at 5:55. Roode was tapping just after the three. Joe freaks out on the referee post match.
The Jarretts are here.
Hogan wants Sting eliminated tonight. Hes talking to all of Immortal rather than just Anderson. Eric implies staging an accident which Abyss kind of volunteers for. Eric blasts Abyss for losing the X Title and says get this done someone. Abyss leaves and the Jarretts are here. They have presents for everyone but Hogan gets the AAA World Title. No mention of the company name that I could hear.
Pope is with D-Vons kids and D-Von says stay away from them. The kids leave and D-Von yells at Pope. Pope says they look up to him and D-Von calls him a con man. D-Von calls Pope stupid for giving up the seven points. Pope says if the kids turn their backs on D-Von, thats not his fault and he leaves.
Highlight package from Destination X with highlights from every match.
Austin Aries vs. Shannon Moore
Shannon gets some arm drags very fast to start us off. Apparently the X-Division has their own locker room. Basic X-Division style match here which is fast paced with some nice speed stuff. Aries cant get control or deal with Moores speed but finally gets a forearm to the back. Brainbuster is blocked and Aries mostly skins the cat back in through the top and middle ropes.
He gets dropkicked to the floor though and Moore hits a dive to take him down. Something similar to a Whisper in the Wind gets two. Aries grabs the Book of Dilligaf but gets it taken away. He keeps the chain though and after knocking Moore out, a slingshot spinning splash ends this at 3:42. Shelley runs out to yell at Aries post match.
Abyss wants his title back tonight. He turns to leave and one of the clowns from earlier blasts him with a bat.
Shelley and Moore complain about Aries cheating.
Aries says hes the best and that he doesnt think he can be beaten.
Recap of Tara vs. Madison and their feud that has barely meant anything in like a month. Both chicks talk about their match tonight and Tara has a gift for Madison but its for after the match.
The match is after a break.
Ad for Bound For Glory which will be in Philadelphia.
Steiner shows off for one of the girls from earlier and gets jumped by a clown as well.
Madison Rayne vs. Tara
Tara has the gift for Madison but its for after the match remember. Madison wants Tara to lay down like before. Tara takes over to start and hits her standing moonsault. Theres the spinning side slam and this is looking like a squash. No cover though and the Widows Peak is countered. Tara gets sent to the apron and dropped face first onto it. So much for the squash. Tara is sent into the steps and Madison goes for the present. And its a spider. Madison screams at it and the distraction allows Tara to get up and hit the Widows Peak for the pin at 4:00.
Tara chases her off with the spider post match.
Angle is coming to the ring.
The Brits are mad at Mexican America. Tonight they fight for the #1 contender spot. About time Beer Money defended the belts.
Heres Kurt, who says he has his title shot at Hardcore Justice. Hed prefer to face Anderson due to their history together. He remembers the cage match and thought there was some respect there, until Anderson joined Immortal. Title match or not, Angle is coming for Anderson. As for Sting, they have history also in the form of the Main Event Mafia and the empty arena match. Angle has never beaten Sting before (yes he has) and that doesnt sit well with him. Hes leaving Hardcore Justice as the champion, and its real.
The Jarretts try to leave and a clown jumps Jeff in the car and takes him away with the bat to Jeffs throat.
Mexican America vs. British Invasion
This is for the #1 contendership. I wouldnt have guessed this but Beer Moneys current reign is the longest reign in the history of the TNA tag titles. The Mexicans say their usual stuff pre-match. The Brits storm the ring and were ready to go. Williams dives out of the ring onto Hernandez and its Magnus vs. Anarquia to start us off. Off to Williams who gets caught by Hernandez off a blind tag.
Shoulder block sets up a backbreaker submission into a regular backbreaker for two. Mexican America takes over as we talk about the clowns taking Immortal out. More double teaming keeps Williams down but he manages to get a middle rope European uppercut to bring in Magnus. Williams is bleeding a bit from his head. Magnus takes over and beats up both guys. Anarquia gets double teamed and a top rope elbow gets two for Magnus. Their top rope European uppercut hits but Rosita comes out for the distraction, allowing Hernandez to drill Magnus and let Anarquia pin him at 6:43.
Eric says its up to Gunner and Ray to take Sting down. Gunner wants to go find the clowns and Sting instead of just waiting around. Ray stays behind though.
Video of Kendrick winning the title on Sunday.
Kendrick defends next week. Also Mickie defends against Velvet and there will be a four way ladder match in the BFG series.
Main event is next.
Gunner has a pipe and is looking for the clowns and here they come, pounding their bats on the ground like a revival of West Side Story. They surround him and take him down with a shot to the knee. The clowns beat him down and hes outmatches. They take their masks off band its Fourtune. They say Ray is already taken care of.
TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Sting
Anderson has the mic in hand but doesnt say anything this week. Pretty slow start as theyre feeling each other out. Sting gets a solid dropkick to send Anderson to the floor. Back in Anderson cant get a sunset flip so Sting punches him in the face. Stinger Splash hits but a second one misses as Anderson dropkicks the knee. Anderson works on the knee and tries the Scorpion on him.
That doesnt last long and Anderson works on the leg a bit more. Theres a half crab which is more like a half Liontamer. Sting kicks him off and does a good job of selling the knee. He manages to hit the Mic Check for a close two. Theres your required ref bump and Sting gets the Scorpion which looks awful here. Anderson taps but theres no ref. Heres Bully Ray who Fourtune said was taken care of.
He hammers Sting and pulls out a chain. The lights go out and theres another clown in the ring. He takes out Ray and looks at Anderson but the lights go out again. When they come back Anderson is alone in the ring and the clown is on the ramp. Sting pops up and the Death Drop gives Sting the title back at 9:11.
Angle was the clown. The reveal ends the show.
Results
Bobby Roode b. Samoa Joe and DAngelo Dinero Roode pinned Joe while in the Koquina Clutch
Austin Aries b. Shannon Moore Slingshot spinning splash
Tara b. Madison Rayne Widows Peak
Mexican America b. British Invasion Anarquia pinned Magnus after a forearm from Hernandez
Sting b. Mr. Anderson Scorpion Death Drop
Generation Me has been released from TNA.
Orlando Jordan is gone as well. No real shock either way.
Smackdown got a 1.73.
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 11, 2011
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
It's the go home show for MITB and things should be rather interesting here. It's probably going to be either Punk's last or next to last Raw so the talking could be great. With Vince being around now there's a chance he might pop up too. Also we'll get some build for the MITB match itself. The interesting thing though is that the guys just got back from Australia so they're likely going to be tired from the flight. Let's get to it.
Heres Punk to open the show with a bullhorn. He also grabs a headset and says something to the producer on it that we cant here. Punk sits in the ring and asks if he has everyones attention now. He says recapping is in order in case you didnt watch, which he didnt because he wasnt on, so last week he was suspended for what he said a few weeks ago. Punk sums it up by saying he gets in trouble for saying things that no one else has the balls to say.
He demonstrates the bullhorn in case the mic is cut off. The fans are totally behind him here and theres a loud CM PUNK chant. He says hes here because Vince wants to sign him to a very long and lucrative contract to WWE. Oddly enough all hes ever wanted is a microphone. I think you can buy one for like 12 bucks at Wal-Mart dude. Punk says hes been doing what Vince has wanted to do for years: making the WWE relevant in the real world.
That has only happened twice apparently: when Punk talks and when someone dies (no names mentioned). Everyone from ESPN to E is calling him for his story. Punk finds it funny that only now is Vince begging him to stay. If Vince had treated him like this for the last five years, there wouldnt be so much ammo built up for him to use. Punk wants a live contract negotiating tonight in which Vince might have to join Punks version of Vinces old kissing club.
Cue Cena who says cut the music. Punk thanks him for getting him a job back that he didnt even want. He says hes going to change the look of the title when he wins it because its been far too ugly for far too long. Punk points out that Cena isnt going to be fire because he was once before and it lasted like a week. Cena: You done? Punk: Probably not but would you like to say something?
Cena says that Punk has been talking about how hes walking out of Chicago with the title and theres nothing that can stop him. Cena is no pushover though and now lets talk about the word wrestler. People have said for years that Punk is great and that Cena is what the company thinks is great. Everyone has said that Punk is great over the years and a lot of names are mentioned including Eddie and Angle. Well see how great they both are on Sunday. A GM E-Mail says Vince is on the way and Cena is in action next.
John Cena vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty
Cena vs. McGillicutty to start and Cena treats the champions like the jobbers they are, sending him to the floor as we take a quick break. Back with Cena in a chinlock, apparently due to interference from Otunga. STF attempt doesnt work and its off to Otunga. The match is completely boring as the announcers rant about how important the title is. You know, that belt that they made a second version of at the drop of a hat.
Cena takes Otunga down and its off to McGillicutty who gets dominated. You Cant See Me and theres the Shuffle. AA is broken up by Otunga and they hit an atomic drop/dropkick combination for two. Superplex by McGillicutty is blocked and theres the top rope Fameasser to set up the STF but Otunga makes the save again. Well at least it hasnt been total Cena dominance. And never mind as the AA ends McGillicutty at 9:56.
Video on Henry being all dominant and evil lately.
Vickie is coaching Dolph on how to talk to Vince tonight. The US Title needs to be the premiere title apparently so Punk and Cena need to be fired. Vickie imitates Vince before Drew pops up and imitates him. Dolph makes fun of Vince and they all make fun of his breath. Vickie snorts when she laughs and Vince pops up behind them (big pop). Tonight theyll be in a handicap match against Big Show. They leave and Vince is asks for a message for the people. He doesnt want to talk to the people right now.
Kelly Kelly vs. Melina
The Bellas are on commentary. Jerry gets on Cole for saying theres a way to tell the Bellas apart which they say doesnt exist. Kelly is in trouble early but takes over, uses a Stinkface for no apparent reason and hits the K2 to retain at 1:45. Total nothing match.
Post match the Bellas say Kelly is way to skinny and wears way too much makeup. They beat her down and Eve comes out for the save. The Bellas leave her laying.
Quick recap of Miz destroying Riley after losing to him last week.
Heres Miz and there are ladders everywhere. He climbs up to the top of one underneath the MITB case. He knows what it means to win the case and be world champion. Hes taken that path before and since hes the future, hell do it again. Miz says hes used to being above everyone else because hes the best. Cue Swagger who points out that hes won the case and the title before. Miz: If someone cashed in MITB and no one remembers it, did it really happen?
Cue Bourne who says hes tired of hearing about what theyve done so hes going to talk about what hell do Sunday. Bourne gets a running start and slides into the ring feet first with no hands. Heres Kofi who says the exact same thing that everyone else in the match is going to come out and say. He talks about Edge getting hurt in these matches or something like that. Truth comes out and talks about beating Cena recently. Hes afraid of heights too, and there better not be any spiders on the ladder because hes afraid of them too. If he opens that case and theres a spider, the grits will hit the pan.
Heres Riley because six promos about one match isnt enough. He comes out at a spring and Miz runs. Heres Alberto in a Mercedes. He got rid of Rey and now has to do all this all over again. Oh and something about destiny. An E-Mail makes a six man that starts right now.
The Miz/Jack Swagger/R-Truth vs. Alex Riley/Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston
No Alberto or Rey here. Back with the match already in progress with Bourne vs. Swagger. Off to Miz as Cole talks about how awesome Miz is. Everyone beats down Bourne for a bit with Truth in the ring at the moment. Bourne gets a knee to the face and its hot tag to Kofi. He comes in off a springboard and starts jumping all over the place. Boom Drop to Truth. He loads up Trouble in Paradise but stops to hit Swagger.
Theres the springboard cross body to Truth but Miz saves. Truth knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kofi getting beaten down by Miz. Off to Truth who gets a two count. Kofi manages to get a double DDT to Truth and Swagger and tags Morrison. He hits a bunch of stuff on Swagger and beats on Miz a bit because he can. Everything breaks down and Riley hits the inverted DDT on Swagger for the pin at 10:45 total.
Everyone hits their finishers post match until Alberto comes out and destroys everyone with the ladder, including throwing it at Mizs arm. Bourne was holding his ankle too.
We recap the ending of Raw last week with Vince and Cena talking about everything involving Punk. If Cena loses at the PPV hes fired.
McIntyre/Ziggler vs. Show up next.
Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler vs. Big Show
Show is all mad here. Ziggler starts and looks at Show. He tags out immediately so Show beats them both up. Show dominates Drew as Ziggler hides. Drew tries to leave and gets mauled by Show. McIntyre gets thrown up the stage and its a countout at 2:00.
Show sets to chokeslam McIntyre off the stage but Henry comes out of nowhere and tackles both of them off the stage. Henry goes flying also. Drew just kind of disappears.
Henry doesnt want help to the back.
We get a clip of Alberto destroying everyone earlier, setting up a long highlight video on MITB matches.
We run down the card for the PPV.
Punk and Vince are up next.
Vince comes out three times because the reaction isnt strong enough for him. No handshake for Cole. He shakes hand with someone at ringside that is either famous or really lucky. Theres a table and a red carpet in the ring. He doesnt want to negotiate in person but hell do it here. He wants to get this over with so get out here. Punk imitates Vinces walk as is required by WWE law.
Vinces chair falls down as he sits in it. The contract has the provision for a Punk collectors cup in it apparently. Punk talks about how this contract proves that Vince has no faith in Cena. Vince says he couldnt live with himself if Punk somehow wins the title on Sunday. He actually calls Punk Phil. Punk doesnt like the contract thats made up so he had his lawyers make a new one. Punk has already signed this one.
One of the provisions is he gets to push Vince. Apparently Punk wants respect or hes leaving with the title. Apparently that wasnt a provision. The first is that he wants a jet. As in a new one, not Vinces because that one smells. Punk wants his face on the Tron, the buckles, spoons, knives, forks, cups, everything. HE WANTS THE ICE CREAM BARS BACK!!! Punk is officially better than everyone. That actually gets a HUGE reaction.
He wants CM Punk The Movie. You can even call it the Chaperone II, although his will be funny and successful. Oh and the main event of Wrestlemania will be Punk vs. whomever hes against. The last major perk is that he wants an apology for the suspension and for Vince being a huge hypocrite. As far as the anti-bullying campaign goes, Vince is one of the biggest bullies Punk has ever met. The fans are eating up every word Punk says.
Punk says his friends have worked here and they have been fired. Vince says they deserved to be fired and Punk says that Vince is out of touch for firing people like Luke Gallows and Colt Cabana. Vince doesnt want to apologize so Punk throws the table over. The fans want something that was either ice cream or wrestling. Vince doesnt care what the people want and Punk says thats the point.
The fans want an apology right now and Vince actually says hes sorry. The fans chant for Colt Cabana as Vince picks up the contract to sign it. Heres Cena though who points out that even though the fans are cheering for him now, Punk is walking out on them Sunday. Cena calls him a terrorist and says theyre both like kids. Cena says he hates Vince too and makes stupid jokes.
Now we get to the awesome stuff. Cena tells Punk that hes lost sight of what got him here. Punk talks about how at Wrestlemania 23 he was riding on the side of Cenas car with a Tommy gun, saying that he promised himself that one day he would be in the ring with Cena instead of watching him. Boston prides itself on being the underdog but now Cena is the WWE Champion and has become exactly what he hates. Now he and Vince are the New York Yankees. Cena drills him and Punk bails. Apparently the man Vince shook hands with was Cenas dad.
Punk sits on the stage and says that illustrates why he wants to leave. Hes tired of all this and hes leaving on Sunday. Say goodbye to the WWE Title, say goodbye to John Cena and say goodbye to CM Punk. He tears up the contract and does You Cant See Me to end this. The ending segment ran a bit too long and it hurt things.
Results
John Cena b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty AA to McGillicutty
Kelly Kelly b. Melina K2
Evan Bourne/Alex Riley/Kofi Kingston b. The Miz/R-Truth/Jack Swagger Inverted DDT to Swagger
Big Show vs. Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre went to a double countout
Tuesday
Raw got a 2.9. Ouch.
NXT
Date: July 12, 2011
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal
Were somehow in week 19 of this show. Think about that for a minute and try not to have your head explode. This season started on March 8. What I want to know is what theyre waiting on. I mean do they really not have six guys they can throw on here? Anyway we now have three finalists left again and theres not much else to say here because the shows are the same all around again. Lets get to it.
We open with a recap of Bateman returning and he and Bryan winning last week.
Bateman opens the show and says this is his show, calling it the Super Terrific Derrick Bateman Happy Hour Extravaganza. He talks about how awesome he is and how hes here to save the show. The fans really dont seem all that into him here which is rather surprising. After he runs his mouth for a bit, heres Darren Young to read off his resume which is really all hes capable of doing anymore. Also ONeil has nothing on him. Bateman agrees that Young is good but not as good as Bateman.
Cue that leprechaun music to get on my nerves again. Titus comes out and barks a lot but Bateman cuts him off. When theyve gotten to the point that theyre calling each others lines before they happen, youve been on this show too long. Bateman says ONeil will be going for cheap pops which Bateman is the master of. So youre the Master Bateman? Someone pop in a DX reunion DVD. The jokes have to be better than this. Anyway Maryse comes out and makes a triple threat.
Darren Young vs. Titus ONeil vs. Derrick Bateman
Bateman grabs a quick rollup for two to start. That gets him nowhere though so Titus clears the ring because he can. The two others decide to double team Titus to take him down as we enter into the standard operating procedures for bad triple threat matches. Bateman gets a splash for two. Bryan is the only pro out here. Double suplex gets two on Titus.
This is elimination apparently. The fans are a bit bored so they cheer for Bryan. The boring double beatdown continues for awhile until Titus wakes up for a bit, only to get taken down again almost immediately. Bateman is sent to the floor as Titus hits Clash of the Titus on Young but Bateman steals the pin. Back from a break with Titus throwing Bateman around for fun. Bateman goes for the knee and its off to a chinlock to make sure we dont get excited about anything.
Nice loud chops by Bateman finally wake up the crowd for a few seconds. Titus takes over and chops even harder. And never mind as its back to Batemans control to waste even more time. Titus starts his comeback and hits a backbreaker but barks instead of covering. Fall away slam gets two. Titus goes up and tries a middle rope clothesline but Bateman ducks and ONeil kind of hits Batemans back. Bateman hits the stupid headlock mat slam/weak bulldog for the pin at 13:53 shown.
Video on Money in the Bank.
Yoshi is back at his shrine or whatever. Striker asks why hes keeping the broken action figure and apparently its something about honor. Tyson vs. Tatsu III tonight.
Pretty long video on Punk vs. Cena.
Horny is drinking root beer because hes sad about Maryse. A guy comes up with a package for him and its from a secret admirer. He thinks the candy in it is from Maryse.
JTG thinks he can make Kozlov gangster and they make a bet. Gee do you think this is going to result in Kozlov wearing a funny costume?
Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd
Regal wants to know why its called a rubber match. Kidd stalls a lot before we get going. Yoshi grabs the arm to start which is rather quickly countered. Dropkick by Kidd misses and Yoshi hammers away, sending Kidd to the floor. Kidd takes over once theyre back inside and chokes him on the ropes. Tatsu comes back but the Canadian hits a Russian legsweep to the Japanese off the middle rope.
Back from a break with Kidd holding a headscissors on the mat. Yoshi gets up and gets a sloppy crucifix for two. Kidd gets a floatover neckbreaker for two. Isnt it great to see two pros get the final ¼ of a show about rookies? Off to a chinlock as the crowd is coming out of their seemingly eternal slumber a bit here. Regal keeps me sane by talking about how when he had a heart attack his ex wife immediately wrote for an ambulance.
Yoshi gets a big kick to put both guys down for a count, reaching seven. Heres Yoshis comeback and he goes old school with a slingshot. Here are some more kicks but Kidd kicks Yoshis knee out. Dropkick to the side of the head gets two for Kidd. Sharpshooter is blocked and Kidd is sent back to the floor. A dive is blocked by a kick to the head of Tatsu though but Kidds springboard elbow is blocked. Kidd gets crotched on the top but blocks a superplex. Moonsault misses and Tatsu gets a rollup for the pin at 11:20.
Kidd jumps him post match and resteals the leg of the action figure. It was stolen in the first place?
Results
Derrick Bateman b. Titus ONeil and Darren Young Headlock into a mat slam to ONeil
Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyson Kidd Rollup
Wednesday
Nothing of note today, as is usually the case on Wednesday.
Thursday
Bound For Glory will be in Philadelphia.
Impact Wrestling
Date: July 14, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Its the first show post Destination X and most importantly its the Midsummer Nightmare. The main event is Sting vs. Anderson for the title in Andersons first match I believe. Hes also in Immortal now and since they have all the power, Id bet a lot on Sting getting the title back since thats what almost always happens: one side gets all the power including the title and then they lose it on the next show. Lets get to it.
We open with a Bully Ray narrated video about the whole Sting vs. Anderson feud and title match tonight. Hogan comes out in a tuxedo along with Immortal. There are various women with them too. Even Abyss is in most of a tuxedo. Everyone is in a tux here. No Anderson though. Theres a card table in the ring and Bischoff sends the girls away. Eric says theyre here to gamble with some peoples careers, because they can according to Hulk.
Bischoff talks about the party that Anderson threw for himself a few weeks back that no one came to. Tonight Immortal is making up for it though because Anderson is part of the family now. The party tonight is in celebration of Anderson as the world champion. Here comes the champ in a camouflage tuxedo. When I woke up today, I really didnt think Id see one of those but I guess you never know what youre going to see.
Hogan says he and Anderson havent seen things eye to eye forever for the most part. However theres always been the constant of them both wanting to be the best they could possibly be. Hulk calls him champ and formally welcomes him into Immortal. Anderson says this is a gamble to join Immortal but as long as Bischoff and Hogan live up to their promise of him being the top card in the deck, its a gamble hes willing to take.
The lights go out and Sting is at the card table. He says he heard someone say gamble and wanted to join in. Eric accused Sting of being the cancer and that tonight Anderson gets rid of it. Sting asks if Eric wants to bet on that because they have a poker table here. Sting sees himself becoming champion tonight and kicking off his crusade of bringing the company back to Dixie Carter. Didnt he start that months ago?
Hogan threatens Sting with attacking him and says that Sting is leaving on a stretcher. Sting freaks out and says no a lot. Even Sting is starting to worry about himself. Sting says Hogan is wrong about that because he has a lot of aces in the whole, such as the Network Ace. He recalls that the Network told Hogan and Bischoff that theyre on a short leash with little room for error. Apparently any shenanigans will bring about someone with a bigger bite than Stings.
Sting says he has a lot of magic bullet aces. Theyre magic because theyll just appear. He points to the rafters and there are four clowns up there. Eric: Youre a freak! Sting: Why thank you Eric! Sting says hes all in tonight (hasnt he said that before?) and turns over the poker table before leaving. We go to a break with Immortal being confused.
Bound For Glory Series Standings with 8 weeks to go:
Crimson 31
Gunner 21
Devon 21
Matt Morgan 14
AJ Styles 14
James Storm 14
Rob Van Dam 14
Bully Ray 14
Scott Steiner 7
DAngelo Dinero 0
Bobby Roode 0
Samoa Joe 0
Bound For Glory Series: Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Roode vs. DAngelo Dinero
No entrances other than the very ending of Joes music. Joe jumps Roode to start us off and hammers him down in the corner. Pope heads to the floor and Roode gets crushed in the corner. Pope stays on the floor as Roode makes a comeback with the spinebuster. His arm gives out though and Pope comes back in, hitting an STO for two. With Joe down Pope takes over on Roode, working over the arm.
The fans are behind Bobby here. Pope gets a DDT for two but Hebner looked like he counted REALLY slow on the three. Middle rope fist gets two for Pope. Joe finally starts getting back in but Pope knocks him right back. DDE misses and Roode fires off some clotheslines. Russian legsweep puts Pope down and Joe is knocked back to the floor again. Blockbuster hits for a close two.
We finally get everyone in the ring at once and Roode gets a Perfectplex on Joe for two. Joe gets the Clutch but we get the Austin vs. Hart at Survivor Series 96 ending as Roode climbs the ropes and goes backwards onto Joe for the pin at 5:55. Roode was tapping just after the three. Joe freaks out on the referee post match.
The Jarretts are here.
Hogan wants Sting eliminated tonight. Hes talking to all of Immortal rather than just Anderson. Eric implies staging an accident which Abyss kind of volunteers for. Eric blasts Abyss for losing the X Title and says get this done someone. Abyss leaves and the Jarretts are here. They have presents for everyone but Hogan gets the AAA World Title. No mention of the company name that I could hear.
Pope is with D-Vons kids and D-Von says stay away from them. The kids leave and D-Von yells at Pope. Pope says they look up to him and D-Von calls him a con man. D-Von calls Pope stupid for giving up the seven points. Pope says if the kids turn their backs on D-Von, thats not his fault and he leaves.
Highlight package from Destination X with highlights from every match.
Austin Aries vs. Shannon Moore
Shannon gets some arm drags very fast to start us off. Apparently the X-Division has their own locker room. Basic X-Division style match here which is fast paced with some nice speed stuff. Aries cant get control or deal with Moores speed but finally gets a forearm to the back. Brainbuster is blocked and Aries mostly skins the cat back in through the top and middle ropes.
He gets dropkicked to the floor though and Moore hits a dive to take him down. Something similar to a Whisper in the Wind gets two. Aries grabs the Book of Dilligaf but gets it taken away. He keeps the chain though and after knocking Moore out, a slingshot spinning splash ends this at 3:42. Shelley runs out to yell at Aries post match.
Abyss wants his title back tonight. He turns to leave and one of the clowns from earlier blasts him with a bat.
Shelley and Moore complain about Aries cheating.
Aries says hes the best and that he doesnt think he can be beaten.
Recap of Tara vs. Madison and their feud that has barely meant anything in like a month. Both chicks talk about their match tonight and Tara has a gift for Madison but its for after the match.
The match is after a break.
Ad for Bound For Glory which will be in Philadelphia.
Steiner shows off for one of the girls from earlier and gets jumped by a clown as well.
Madison Rayne vs. Tara
Tara has the gift for Madison but its for after the match remember. Madison wants Tara to lay down like before. Tara takes over to start and hits her standing moonsault. Theres the spinning side slam and this is looking like a squash. No cover though and the Widows Peak is countered. Tara gets sent to the apron and dropped face first onto it. So much for the squash. Tara is sent into the steps and Madison goes for the present. And its a spider. Madison screams at it and the distraction allows Tara to get up and hit the Widows Peak for the pin at 4:00.
Tara chases her off with the spider post match.
Angle is coming to the ring.
The Brits are mad at Mexican America. Tonight they fight for the #1 contender spot. About time Beer Money defended the belts.
Heres Kurt, who says he has his title shot at Hardcore Justice. Hed prefer to face Anderson due to their history together. He remembers the cage match and thought there was some respect there, until Anderson joined Immortal. Title match or not, Angle is coming for Anderson. As for Sting, they have history also in the form of the Main Event Mafia and the empty arena match. Angle has never beaten Sting before (yes he has) and that doesnt sit well with him. Hes leaving Hardcore Justice as the champion, and its real.
The Jarretts try to leave and a clown jumps Jeff in the car and takes him away with the bat to Jeffs throat.
Mexican America vs. British Invasion
This is for the #1 contendership. I wouldnt have guessed this but Beer Moneys current reign is the longest reign in the history of the TNA tag titles. The Mexicans say their usual stuff pre-match. The Brits storm the ring and were ready to go. Williams dives out of the ring onto Hernandez and its Magnus vs. Anarquia to start us off. Off to Williams who gets caught by Hernandez off a blind tag.
Shoulder block sets up a backbreaker submission into a regular backbreaker for two. Mexican America takes over as we talk about the clowns taking Immortal out. More double teaming keeps Williams down but he manages to get a middle rope European uppercut to bring in Magnus. Williams is bleeding a bit from his head. Magnus takes over and beats up both guys. Anarquia gets double teamed and a top rope elbow gets two for Magnus. Their top rope European uppercut hits but Rosita comes out for the distraction, allowing Hernandez to drill Magnus and let Anarquia pin him at 6:43.
Eric says its up to Gunner and Ray to take Sting down. Gunner wants to go find the clowns and Sting instead of just waiting around. Ray stays behind though.
Video of Kendrick winning the title on Sunday.
Kendrick defends next week. Also Mickie defends against Velvet and there will be a four way ladder match in the BFG series.
Main event is next.
Gunner has a pipe and is looking for the clowns and here they come, pounding their bats on the ground like a revival of West Side Story. They surround him and take him down with a shot to the knee. The clowns beat him down and hes outmatches. They take their masks off band its Fourtune. They say Ray is already taken care of.
TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Sting
Anderson has the mic in hand but doesnt say anything this week. Pretty slow start as theyre feeling each other out. Sting gets a solid dropkick to send Anderson to the floor. Back in Anderson cant get a sunset flip so Sting punches him in the face. Stinger Splash hits but a second one misses as Anderson dropkicks the knee. Anderson works on the knee and tries the Scorpion on him.
That doesnt last long and Anderson works on the leg a bit more. Theres a half crab which is more like a half Liontamer. Sting kicks him off and does a good job of selling the knee. He manages to hit the Mic Check for a close two. Theres your required ref bump and Sting gets the Scorpion which looks awful here. Anderson taps but theres no ref. Heres Bully Ray who Fourtune said was taken care of.
He hammers Sting and pulls out a chain. The lights go out and theres another clown in the ring. He takes out Ray and looks at Anderson but the lights go out again. When they come back Anderson is alone in the ring and the clown is on the ramp. Sting pops up and the Death Drop gives Sting the title back at 9:11.
Angle was the clown. The reveal ends the show.
Results
Bobby Roode b. Samoa Joe and DAngelo Dinero Roode pinned Joe while in the Koquina Clutch
Austin Aries b. Shannon Moore Slingshot spinning splash
Tara b. Madison Rayne Widows Peak
Mexican America b. British Invasion Anarquia pinned Magnus after a forearm from Hernandez
Sting b. Mr. Anderson Scorpion Death Drop