klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Friday
Impact got a 1.1, the same as last week.
Smackdown
Date: May 18, 2012
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T
Time for another edition of that show on Fridays that doesn't mean a thing because everything happens on Raw now. The main event tonight is Orton vs. Sheamus which is the big PPV match they're waiting for the right time to have. This is the go home show for Over the Limit which is the least interesting PPV I can think of in years. Maybe we'll actually have Punk and Bryan talk. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the end of Raw. Gee there's a novel idea. This is edited together really well as it's Ace talking about what he can do and Cena reading a line from the letter to say that Ace can't do that.
In the arena here's Ace to really open things up. He disagrees with the Board's decision because it puts him in harm's way. Ace says that he's almost 40 but he's still in shape. Wow I would have put him closer to fifty. The Board won't reconsider their decision so he appeals to the fans for their support. He asks for our prayers but gets Punk instead.
Punk says that everyone, including him and the rest of the roster has been praying. Their prayers have been answered by this match on Sunday. It's not about if Cena beats him but rather when. It would be more realistic to say that it's not if Big Show/Lesnar interferes but when but you get the idea. Punk says after Ace is fired the party will start on Raw and it'll go on through Smackdown next week.
The champ talks about Raw where Ace made Big Show beg for forgiveness with a smile on his face. Ace constantly insults the intelligence of the fans and humiliates Teddy, so how does it feel to be on the other end of the stick? Ace says it's not over yet so tonight Punk faces Kane. Punk says that concerns him but he's going to face Kane like a man. Next week he'll still be WWE Champion but Ace will be unemployed. So let's see. Punk talked to a guy he's not facing on Sunday, is facing a guy that is on the pre-show on Sunday, and didn't mention his opponent by name at all. Nice way to show what the real match is guys.
Punk leaves but Ace stops to yell at the fans. He says that since he's the GM, he's been tough but fair. Ace says that he works hard for the fans and they still boo them. He's not going to blame Punk and Cena, because it's the fans' fault. If this is his last night, he could care less about all of them, and with that he leaves.
Cena Make-A-Wish video which is good to mention because it makes you think of the good stuff WWE guys do. Make sure to remember that if you're a Connecticut registered voter.
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Darren Young/Titus O'Neil
Young and Truth start things off. They fight into the corner and Truth punches him a bit. Off to Kofi with the springboard cross body for two. Kofi takes down both opponents but Titus' distraction lets Young hit his belly to back suplex onto the apron to take over. Off to Titus who slams Kofi and hits a splash in the corner. Another attempt hits boots and it's off to Young and Truth again. Truth speeds things up and hits the spinning forearm. DDT gets two as Titus saves. Kofi knocks O'Neil to the floor and hits a dive as the Little Jimmy pins Young at 2:59.
Just a quick aside here: we have Young and O'Neil brought up as a new team who look impressive, so in I think their fourth match they job clean to the champions in less than three minutes. That's a great way to make these guys look good. This is where JOBBERS should be used. Throw Slater and someone else out there for this match and save Young/O'Neil for later. Unfortunately there are only five teams (Colons, champions, O'Neil/Young, Usos (are they still alive?) and Swagger/Ziggler) They're saving the Colons for a big match I guess, so this is all they can use and that's why there's no division.
Don't Be A Bully! How long before it's time to STAND UP for WWE?
Ryder is filming stuff for his show in the back but Sandow is standing next to him. And that's that apparently.
Video on Ryback. He's 1/3 of the they're monsters but we have no idea what to do with him yet so we'll keep having him squash people until the fans get bored of him trio with Tensai and Clay.
Damien Sandow vs. Yoshi Tatsu
Sandow won't fight for the same reasons he gave two weeks ago. He leaves but Tatsu calls him a chicken, complete with clucking. Sandow runs in and takes off the robe to reveal hot pink tights that Rick Martel would look twice at and destroys Tatsu. He hits a version of the Regal Cutter with both arms pulled instead of just one and then leaves. There was no bell and no pin so this wasn't a match.
We recap the events that set up the fourway other than the actual announcement of the match.
Orton and Sheamus are in the back with Striker. Sheamus says he's looking forward to fighting three guys and rubs in that he's not champion anymore. Orton says he's no longer so overconfident that he overlooks his opponents. He can beat anyone on Sunday but wants to beat Sheamus. Sheamus says he can kick Orton right now but Orton says compared to him, Sheamus is too nice a guy.
Zack Ryder vs. Daniel Bryan
Ryder gets in some offense to start but a running knee puts him down. The running dropkick in the corner gets two. Bryan works on the arm a bit but gets caught by the knees in the corner. Broski Boot misses and Bryan kicks him in the head. YES Lock gets the submission at 2:28. Squash.
Kane vs. CM Punk
Bryan is sitting in on commentary, which is going to multiply the build for this match by about 10,000%. Kane knocks him down to start so Punk fires some kicks to the legs. A clothesline puts Kane on the floor and we take a break. Back with Punk kicking the knee some more and hitting a DDT for two. Punk hooks a Figure Four AND IT'S ON THE PROPER LEG!!! Kane breaks it quickly but I'm in too much shock to care.
Punk springboards into the uppercut and takes over with some very slow kicks. A baseball slide sends Punk's ribs into the post and Kane focuses on them for a bit. Off to a bearhug and then a backbreaker for two. There's a body vice as Bryan talks about the history with Punk and how their paths reached this point. See how easy it is? Back up and Punk escapes the chokeslam and hits a swinging neckbreaker for two.
Punk hits the knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered as you would expect it to be. Since that didn't work he goes to the middle rope for the bulldog which gets two. He tries the GTS but the ribs give out. Big boot gets two for Kane. Bryan sounds like a kid at Christmas with the ribs being hurt.
Kane loads up a superplex but Punk shoves him off and hits the Macho Elbow for two. He tries the Vice but Kane blocks it. Top rope clothesline puts Punk down and it's chokeslam time. Punk hits the High Kick to counter and Kane goes to the floor. Suicide dive takes Kane out but Bryan pops up with a chair. He hits Kane which gives Kane the DQ win at 9:50 shown of 13:20.
Bryan runs and sees Punk with the chair near him, so he destroys Punk with it. Bryan hit Kane in the back if that clears anything up. A chokeslam in the ring leaves Punk laying.
Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes
This is the result of an epic Twitter War this week over which title means more. If you don't know who's losing here, I can't help you. Booker says the IC Title is a little more prestigious. Cody hits some knees to the ribs to take over but the moonsault press misses. Here's the Cobra but Cody dropkicks him down for two. And never mind as the Cobra hits for the pin at 1:59. Hey Vince, congratulations on crushing a guy that could be a big star for you because his brother got fired. Seriously, why else could this be happening?
Since having a match go longer than two minutes is impossible, here's Ace's promo from earlier tonight to fill in time.
Now we spend TEN FULL MINUTES reairing the ENTIRE Big Show firing segment from Monday.
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
There's a TON of time left for this because nothing else has happened on this show. Feeling out process to start with Orton getting caught in a headlock. Randy speeds things up and hits a dropkick to take over. They go into the corner and it turns into a shoving match followed by a fight. A clothesline puts the champion down and Orton does his stomping, focusing on the ankle for a bit.
A knee drop misses and Sheamus comes back with right hands in the corner. Orton punches back but Sheamus' are better and he takes over. Randy comes back with a clothesline to send Sheamus to the floor but he sends Orton into the steps. Brogue Kick misses and Orton rams Sheamus' shoulder into the post. No one has had a distinct advantage at all so far. That's Sheamus' bad shoulder so there's some psychology thrown in there.
Orton stomps on the arm to drive it into the steps as we take a break. Back with Orton bending the arm around the ropes. Some elbows to the arm keep Sheamus down as does a DDT on the arm. Off to a chinlock with an arm trap. Sheamus starts a comeback but gets sent into the corner shoulder first. The champ manages to send him to the floor and hits a high knee followed by the ten forearms in the ropes.
Sheamus knocks Orton off the apron and into the barricade as we take another break. Back with Sheamus dropping knees on Orton which eventually get two. Regal Roll puts Orton down and Sheamus loads up the High Cross. Orton counters that too, this time into the backbreaker. Sheamus charges at him but Orton hooks a belly to belly of all things. He tries the elevated DDT but Sheamus guillotines him on the top to escape.
Slingshot shoulder puts Orton down and there are the running ax handles. Powerslam gets two. Another Irish Curse attempt is broken up but another attempt connects for two. Sheamus goes up but Orton stops him with punches followed by a top rope superplex. That only gets two and they slug it out. Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus gets caught in the rope and the elevated DDT. Orton loads up the RKO but Sheamus ducks. Brogue Kick misses and Orton tries the RKO again, but Sheamus drops down into a rollup for the pin at 16:35 shown of 23:35.
Post match they shake hands and Orton RKOs him. That's a pretty heelish move.
Results
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Titus O'Neil/Darren Young Little Jimmy to Young
Daniel Bryan b. Zack Ryder YES Lock
Kane b. CM Punk via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered
Santino Marella b. Cody Rhodes Cobra
Sheamus b. Randy Orton Rollup
Saturday
Sin Cara came back last night at a house show.
Sunday
Over The Limit 2012
Date: May 20, 2012
Location: PNC Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler
Well we have to get this one over with I guess. This is the least interesting and probably least built up show I can remember in years. As of 5:05 PM on the day of the show, we have five matches scheduled for the show, not counting the pre-show match. There are bound to be some matches added, which have to help this show. This is one of the PPVs I'm going into with zero expectations which usually helps a show a lot. That being said, I'm not sure if it works if you plan that way in advance. Let's get to it.
Apparently there's been a battle royal added to the show and the winner gets to pick the IC or US Title to challenge for tonight. That'll help a lot.
Pre-Show: Kane vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder is taken into the corner but shoves Kane away and shouts that he's not afraid. WHY DID HE NEVER FREAKING DO THAT WHEN HE WAS US CHAMPION THEN??? Ryder gets him to chase him and hits a kind of baseball slide. I really like the set as it looks like a speedometer much like the videos have looked. A suicide dive puts Kane down as he keeps looking for a countout.
Back in and Ryder pounds away but it's short lived as Kane knocks him down and starts using the power. Clothesline gets two. Off to a bearhug which doesn't last long. Seated dropkick gets two and it's off to a body vice. Ryder fights out of it with elbows and hits a quick neckbreaker for two. He snaps Kane's throat on the top rope but as he goes up, Kane hits an uppercut. Kane charges into the corner knees but the Rough Ryder is countered and a side slam gets two. Ryder comes back again and hits the Broski Boot for one. He loads up the Rough Ryder but charges into the chokeslam for the pin at 6:47.
Battle Royal
The battle royal is on the pre-show too? Dang I was about to turn it off too. We have Miz, Khali, JTG, Ezekiel Jackson, Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, Michael McGillicutty, Yoshi Tatsu, Tyson Kidd, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre, Heath Slater, Titus O'Neil, Darren Young, Alex Riley, David Otunga, William Regal (BIG chant), and Christian.
This is going to be on the PPV which is good. The winner can pick the US Title or IC Title to challenge for later tonight. There are 20 men in all. This is a cool idea to start the show with. No opening video either. They start with the usual punching and kicking until Khali throws Slater out. There goes McGillicutty by the same man. The Usos hit a double superkick to put JTG out, making me love them even more.
Drew suplexes Yoshi out and he lands BAD on his ankle. If he's not hurt it'll be a miracle. Reks and Hawkins put Jackson out just before Darren Young puts an Uso out. Someone puts McIntyre out. I'm sorry for all of the so and so is out but there's not much else you can say until a lot of the guys are gone. Khali puts out Hawkins and Reks and does the same to Mahal. I think there are ten left.
Regal tries to put Kidd out but gets caught in a chokeout. Miz, Young and O'Neil team up to put Khali out. That more or less leaves Miz, Christian and maybe Otunga as the only likely winners. Jackson misses a charge and the remaining Uso kicks him out. Young and let's say Jey go to the apron and Young knocks him out. Ok we have Miz, Young, Kidd, Regal (out as I type his name, drawing HUGE boos), Christian, Kidd and Otunga. Riley dropkicks Young out to get it to five.
Riley hits a spinebuster on Miz but gets sent to the apron. He goes up top but Miz guillotines him to get it to four. It's Christian, Miz, Kidd and Otunga. Otunga sends Christian's shoulder into the post as Kidd kicks Miz. I think Christian is a face here. Kidd gets sent to the apron but hits a springboard missile dropkick to knock Miz and Otunga down. Kidd goes to the apron and tries to headscissor Kidd out, but Otunga dumps Tyson.
Otunga and Miz team up against Christian for a double beating but the corner clothesline misses. Christian dumps Otunga and has to hang on from a sneak attack by Miz. The Finale is countered and Christian is thrown to the apron. Miz chokes him on the apron with a boot but Christian kicks him away. From the apron, Christian throws Miz to the apron as well and a shoulder to the ribs gives the Canadian the win at 12:36.
Christian picks Santino in a surprising move.
Now we get the opening video, which is about change and people power.
Vickie suggests she'll be the new GM if Ace loses.
Tag Titles: Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston
Kofi and Swagger get us going. Jack takes it to the mat but opts for a standing top wristlock instead. Not much happens so it's off to Truth for a double hiptoss. Spinning legdrop gets two. Ziggler comes in but Kofi gets a blind tag and a springboard missile dropkick for two. Swagger gets in a shot from the apron and a tag to take over. He works on the arm some more and it's off to Truth who speeds things up.
Vickie distracts the referee which results in Dolph getting his head kicked off. Swagger puts Truth down and hits the Vader Bomb for two. Ziggler comes back in with a Crossface of all things as King is talking about Vickie's navel. Cole: If you two were as good at commentating as you were at looking at Vickie you'd be in the Hall of Fame. King: I already am. That was funny for some reason.
Swagger takes Truth down but Truth comes back with a flurry of punches. They don't get him anywhere as Ziggler comes in for a double team, getting two. Dolph does the handstands on the chinlock which is impressive. Back to Jack who takes Truth into the corner but gets caught by a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Double tag brings in Kofi and Dolph and an SOS gets two. Springboard cross body gets two as Jack makes the save. As Kofi is coming back in he gets caught by a Fameasser for two. Truth dives onto Swagger and Dolph jumps with a Stinger Splash, right into Trouble in Paradise to retain at 12:28.
Eve tells Hawkins and Reks to go into the crowd and confiscate all anti-Laurinitis signs. Otunga says this is legally ok. There has to be a rib here somewhere.
Divas Title: Layla vs. Beth Phoenix
Layla is defending. She grabs a headlock to start but Beth powers her down. The fans want Kharma. Layla takes her back down and pounds away, including an elbow into a charging Beth. Beth counters a rana (I think) out of the corner into a powerbomb to work on the knee. She wraps it around the post and slams her down for two.
There's a half crab and a tap chant. Layla comes back with a rolling cradle for two. This is a really boring match. After a quick bit on the apron, the Glam Slam is countered into a kind of DDT for two. Another attempt is countered into a rollup for two but Beth counters into one of her own with tights for two. Beth takes the knee out again but walks into the Layout for the pin at 7:13.
We go to Orton and see a clip of him hitting the RKO after losing to Sheamus. He says Sheamus would have done the same to him. Jericho comes up and says he enjoyed the match on Smackdown with the two of them beating on each other. He says he'll win, but Orton says that Jericho will only be the best in the world at losing to him.
Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton
I've been looking forward to this. During the big match intros, the announcers talk about how he has a 25% chance of winning. Wouldn't they always have at best a 50% chance? Anyway Jericho goes after Orton and Del Rio jumps Sheamus. The good guys almost have a rematch from Friday but the heels jump them again. Del Rio and Jericho are knocked to the floor and it's rematch time.
Sheamus takes over but gets pulled to the floor by Jericho and thrown into the barricade. Del Rio jumps Orton and works on the arm. The fans chant SI as Del Rio and Jericho have a brief alliance. Alberto heads to the floor and works on Sheamus' arm, sending him into the table. In the ring Orton suplexes Jericho and stomps him for two. The heels team up again but once Jericho goes for a cover it's time to fight.
Orton comes back to clothesline Del Rio to the floor and it's Randy vs. Jericho for a bit. Enziguri gets two for the Canadian. Sheamus has apparently stopped living as he's been gone for about three minutes now. Cole talks about Raw going three hours as Orton loads up a superplex. Del Rio makes the save for some reason and Orton goes to the floor with Jericho. Sheamus comes back with the top rope shoulder and some knees to Del Rio in the corner.
Regal Roll puts Del Rio down again and Sheamus shouts BROGUE. Del Rio blocks it with an enziguri for two. Into the corner and Sheamus fires off a bunch of elbows to Del Rio's head. That corner has been a bad place for him so far. Powerslam gets two. The periods of guys laying on the floor is a lot longer tonight. Del Rio takes out the knee and a dropkick to Sheamus while the champ is on his knees gets two.
Del Rio misses a charging kick and gets caught in position for the ten forearms. Jericho pops up with a shot to the back, sending Del Rio and Sheamus to the floor and onto Ricardo. Orton comes back in with the powerslams to Jericho and an elevated DDT to the champion. Cross armbreaker beaks up the RKO but Jericho saves Randy. Lionsault gets knees from Del Rio but Orton hits the backbreaker on Jericho. Irish Curse puts Del Rio down but Orton tries the RKO. Sheamus escapes and misses the Kick but he counters the RKO into a rollup like Friday for two. Orton sends him into the post and out to the floor. Great sequence.
Double DDT takes out Del Rio and Ricardo but Del Rio sends Orton to the floor. Cross armbreaker to Jericho is counters into the Walls (SWEET) but Sheamus comes in to break it up. Jericho ducks the Kick and hits the Codebreaker for two. Cole picks NOW to plug WWE.com. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Jericho hits his finisher so TIME TO PLUG THE WEBSITE!!! Regal Roll is countered into the Walls but Randy RKOs him. Del Rio saves that and takes one of his own. Brogue Kick takes down Orton (great selling) and Jericho rolls Sheamus up with tights for two. I thought that was it. White Noise to Jericho retains at 16:00.
Cody and Eve talk in the back and Rhodes is glad the IC Title is getting legitimized tonight. He says he would have embarrassed Christian tonight and guess who is behind him. Christian changes his mind and is challenging Cody tonight. That's an intriguing feud if they let Cody be himself.
Here's Miz for a match but he has a mic first. He also has the coat back which is an upgrade. Miz says that the fans should be praising his existence. Everything that is wrong with the WWE can be summed up in two words: Brodus Clay. Miz says he's a better dancer and shows off a little bit. Brodus does his stuff and looks like a pumpkin with orange and black this week.
Brodus Clay vs. The Miz
This isn't a dance off thank goodness. Miz gets shoved into the corner and has his forearms shrugged off. Brodus rams Miz into the corner and hits a suplex. Miz tries to go up top but gets heabutted down. Miz sends Clay into the post on the floor. Back in a pair of top rope ax handles put Brodus down to his knee. Boot to the head gets two and it's off to a chinlock. Brodus gets up and runs him over, then hits his overhead suplex from the middle rope. Splash ends this at 4:13.
Reks and Hawkins are stealing signs.
Cody complains about the fans being happy with him having to defend the title tonight. He talks about his dad not letting him come to any shows in North Carolina as a kid, and now he knows it's because he's better than everyone else. Tonight he'll prove that he's better than Christian. I'm liking these short pre-match promos. They add a little something to them.
Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes
Christian throws him to the floor to start and Cody is frustrated. Cody comes back in with a Russian legsweep for two and we hit the armbar/neckcrank. Christian gets up but gets dropkicked in the back of his head for two. Cody works him over in the corner and we head outside. The champ climbs the steps like he's setting for the Disaster Kick but hits a dropkick instead.
Back inside and Cody jumps into a punch to the ribs. Pendulum Kick sets up a middle rope missile dropkick for two. The crowd has gone dead after the foruway. Killswitch is broken up but Christian pops him in the face to keep momentum. Top rope dropkick misses and Cody rolls him up for two. Tornado DDT is countered and Christian stands there for the moonsault press (looked really stupid) for two. Cody yells at the fans about being tired of being jerked around and walks into the Killswitch to give us a new champion at 7:28.
We go to Punk in the back and see a clip from the end of the Punk vs. Kane match with Bryan getting Punk a beating by Kane. Punk is happy that tonight Ace will be out of a job. First up though is Daniel Bryan who he's known for ten years. Ten years ago, if you had told Vince that these two would be fighting for the WWE Title on a WWE PPV, you would hear him ask who they both were (complete with a funny Vince imitation). Bryan is a changed man and those changes have gotten on his bad side. Tonight won't just be a five star classic, but it'll be.....and here's AJ who says this is going to be fun. She wishes Punk luck.
Raw World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk
Cole again plugs WWE.com which has an article about their history. You know, because Cole can't TELL US THOSE THINGS. Feeling out process to start and Punk takes him into the corner and kicks at the leg. The fans seem totally split. A quick headlock goes nowhere so Punk works on the knee some more. Modified Indian Deathlock goes on from the champ but Bryan gets on top of him and fires off forearms.
Punk weathers that and hits a curb stomp of all things for two. He sends Bryan to the floor but Bryan is ready for him and sends Punk back first into the barricade. The bad ribs are draped over the barricade and Bryan takes over. Back in a top rope missile dropkick (with knee selling) gets two. Bryan hooks a seated abdominal stretch with some elbows to the ribs. Knee drop gets one.
Punk tries a Figure Four out of nowhere (complete with WOO chants. We're in North Carolina remember) but Bryan rolls him up for two. There's a surfboard (complete with YES each time he rocks back) which is always cool to me. Bryan keeps Punk's legs in the air and bends his face down into a dragon sleeper at the same time. FREAKING OW MAN! Off to a regular dragon sleeper but Punk comes back with forearms of his own. That's some nice storytelling as they've mirrored each other completely, even down to the counter into mounted forearms, for the first ten minutes.
Bryan hits a hard running knee drop to the back to keep Punk down. Another misses and Punk gets a Perfectplex for two. Bryan suplexes him down and hits a swan dive headbutt for two. Off to a chinlock with a knee in the back of the champ. Punk gets up and they both hit cross bodies to put both guys down. Back up and Punk fires off forearms and hits the neckbreaker.
Punk tries the corner clothesline but gets kicked in the face. Powerslam gets two for the champ. Bryan escapes a suplex but Punk backdrops him to the floor. Suicide dive takes Daniel down but he hits a dropkick to counter the springboard clothesline for two. Bryan fires off the kicks but the last one is caught in a dragon screw leg whip. Figure Four goes on and the fans get fired up again.
With the hold on they slap it out but Punk doesn't let go of the hold. Bryan makes the rope and Booker shouts that he has til five. Knee crusher is countered into a sunset flip for two. Punk's rollup gets the same. Bryan tries something with the arm but Punk pulls away. Bryan is cool with that and kicks Punk's head off for two. They go to the corner and Punk crotches Bryan on the top.
With Bryan sitting on the ropes, Punk hits the springboard clothesline for two. We're at almost twenty minutes now and they're showing no signs of ending soon. The fans think this is awesome. I can't remember the last time I've heard that at a WWE show. They trade forearms from their knees and Punk takes over with his strikes. GTS is countered into a rollup for two.
YES Lock is countered into a slingshot to send Bryan to the apron. He skins the cat but walks into a high kick for two. Bryan put his foot on the rope so Punk hooks it for another two. I like that. Macho Elbow hits but the ribs are too hurt to cover. A Randy Savage chant starts up as Punk gets two. Bryan goes off, firing knees into the ribs. He charges but the running dropkick misses.
Running knee hits but the bulldog is countered into the YES Lock in the middle of the ring. Bryan pulls too hard and Punk falls on top for the pin at 24:04. He was tapping at the same time though so there's your rematch at No Way Out. I think the pin stands though. Replay shows that the three count was clearly done before Punk tapped and the announcers acknowledged it.
Yeah another replay shows that the referee was almost up to his feet saying ring the bell before Punk tapped. It's not even close.
Eve and Otunga are in the back and run into Teddy. He's happy because if Ace loses, the two of them might get fired.
Camacho vs. Ryback
Lillian says that it's Hunico but it's Camacho. Good reaction for Ryback who has Nexus like R bands on his arm. What do you expect here? We get Goldberg chants, some offense from Camacho, spinebuster, a powerbomb and the MuscleBuster for the pin at 1:52.
We recap the main event. Ace calls it People Power, naturally he's corrupt boss #8000 and brings in Lesnar to be his big machine, only to have Lesnar lose to Cena in his first match. This leads to Ace vs. Cena and if Cena wins, Ace is fired. Oh and if any wrestler interferes, he's fired. Did I mention Big Show was fired on Monday?
John Cena vs. John Laurinatis
We hear about some All Japan titles and I quote, one of the greatest tag teams of all times in the Dynamic Dudes. For those of you unfamiliar, NO. Just NO. Ace is in a full body black suit which is skin tight. I think it's Under Armour. Just to be clear: The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Johnny Ace. Also for the sake of this, if I use the name John, I will only be referring to Cena. You can only win by pin or submission and if Ace loses he's fired.
Ace immediately runs to the crowd but Cena catches him. He rips the Armour up and hits a loud chop to the chest and the back. LONG airplane spin puts Ace on the floor and Cena rings the bell next to his ear. Cena puts Ace in Cole's chair and puts a headset on him. He grabs a mic and says he'll be Booker while Ace is Cole. Cena's imitations of both guys are pretty good and Ace says FIVE TIME while half unconscious. Ace has had no offense at all.
Back into the ring and Ace begs for mercy. He extends a hand which gets him slammed. Cena grabs a mic and says he has an idea. He says he's about to put Ace in the STF and if Ace taps, he's fired. If Ace can last ten seconds, Cena will let go and in the name of PEOPLE POWER, the fans can keep time. Cena lets go at ten and says the good news is that Ace survived. The bad news is he's going to do it again. Cena isn't cranking on it at all.
John goes to the floor and gets some water. He thinks Ace needs some water too so he gets three bottles and pours them over Ace. One of them go down Ace's pants. Now it's time for a fire extinguisher. Ace begs for mercy so Cena only sprays him a bit. It's been hot around here so that doesn't sound half bad right now. Cena sprays him for about fifteen seconds and Ace looks like a snowman. This is hilarious so far.
Cena finds a trashcan which is full of popcorn and drinks. Well at least it washes the foam off. Ace gets into the crowd as Cena is looking for more stuff but Cena catches him. Ace gets in a shot to the bad arm and Cena is in some trouble. The arm goes into the table as Cole is losing his mind. It goes into the steps and Ace grabs a chair. Naturally, he hits Cena in the ribs instead of the arm but at least he's trying. A few shots to the back get two.
Cena blocks a chair shot to the head and trips Ace's legs with it. Instead of the Shuffle, Cena drives the chair into Ace's face. He picks Ace up but takes a low blow to put him back down again. Ace goes into the crowd again and slowly crawls up the aisle. He gets past the floor seats and Cena is still in the ring. Ace gets out of the arena and the referee isn't sure what to do.
And here it is. Big Show pops up with Ace by his throat and drags him back to the ring. He throws Ace back in (with a beer gut the size of your local luchador) and Cena is ready. Ace begs off some more so Show stands on his hand. Cena puts him in the AA and of course Show punches him to the shock of no one. Ace gets the pin at 17:08.
Everyone is SHOCKED to end the show. SHOCKED I SAY!
Results
Christian won a battle royal, last eliminating The Miz
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger Trouble in Paradise to Ziggler
Layla b. Beth Phoenix Layout
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio, Chris Jericho and Randy Orton White Noise to Jericho
Brodus Clay b. The Miz Splash
Christian b. Cody Rhodes Killswitch
CM Punk b. Daniel Bryan Rollup
Ryback b. Camacho MuscleBuster
John Laurinaitis b. John Cena Pin after WMD from Big Show
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
CM Punk/Santino Marella b. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes GTS to Rhodes
Beth Phoenix b. Alicia Fox Glam Slam
Kane b. Big Show Chokeslam
Brodus Clay/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/The Miz Splash to Miz
Chris Jericho b. Randy Orton via DQ when Sheamus interfered
NXT
Johnny Curtis b. Percy Watson Spinning Falcon's Arrow
Ezekiel Jackson/Great Khali b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks Punjabi Plunge to Reks
Kaitlyn b. Maxine Leg full nelson
Tyson Kidd b. Michael McGillicutty and Derrick Bateman Dungeon Lock to Bateman
Impact Wrestling
Bully Ray b. Rob Van Dam Bully Cutter
AJ Styles won a battle royal last eliminating Gunner
Jeff Hardy b. Mr. Anderson Crucifix
Gail Kim b. Brooke Tessmacher and Velvet Sky Rollup to Tessmacher
Kurt Angle b. Samoa Joe Rollup
Smackdown
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Titus O'Neil/Darren Young Little Jimmy to Young
Daniel Bryan b. Zack Ryder YES Lock
Kane b. CM Punk via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered
Santino Marella b. Cody Rhodes Cobra
Sheamus b. Randy Orton Rollup
Over The Limit 2012
Christian won a battle royal, last eliminating The Miz
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger Trouble in Paradise to Ziggler
Layla b. Beth Phoenix Layout
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio, Chris Jericho and Randy Orton White Noise to Jericho
Brodus Clay b. The Miz Splash
Christian b. Cody Rhodes Killswitch
CM Punk b. Daniel Bryan Rollup
Ryback b. Camacho MuscleBuster
John Laurinaitis b. John Cena Pin after WMD from Big Show
Impact got a 1.1, the same as last week.
Smackdown
Date: May 18, 2012
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T
Time for another edition of that show on Fridays that doesn't mean a thing because everything happens on Raw now. The main event tonight is Orton vs. Sheamus which is the big PPV match they're waiting for the right time to have. This is the go home show for Over the Limit which is the least interesting PPV I can think of in years. Maybe we'll actually have Punk and Bryan talk. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the end of Raw. Gee there's a novel idea. This is edited together really well as it's Ace talking about what he can do and Cena reading a line from the letter to say that Ace can't do that.
In the arena here's Ace to really open things up. He disagrees with the Board's decision because it puts him in harm's way. Ace says that he's almost 40 but he's still in shape. Wow I would have put him closer to fifty. The Board won't reconsider their decision so he appeals to the fans for their support. He asks for our prayers but gets Punk instead.
Punk says that everyone, including him and the rest of the roster has been praying. Their prayers have been answered by this match on Sunday. It's not about if Cena beats him but rather when. It would be more realistic to say that it's not if Big Show/Lesnar interferes but when but you get the idea. Punk says after Ace is fired the party will start on Raw and it'll go on through Smackdown next week.
The champ talks about Raw where Ace made Big Show beg for forgiveness with a smile on his face. Ace constantly insults the intelligence of the fans and humiliates Teddy, so how does it feel to be on the other end of the stick? Ace says it's not over yet so tonight Punk faces Kane. Punk says that concerns him but he's going to face Kane like a man. Next week he'll still be WWE Champion but Ace will be unemployed. So let's see. Punk talked to a guy he's not facing on Sunday, is facing a guy that is on the pre-show on Sunday, and didn't mention his opponent by name at all. Nice way to show what the real match is guys.
Punk leaves but Ace stops to yell at the fans. He says that since he's the GM, he's been tough but fair. Ace says that he works hard for the fans and they still boo them. He's not going to blame Punk and Cena, because it's the fans' fault. If this is his last night, he could care less about all of them, and with that he leaves.
Cena Make-A-Wish video which is good to mention because it makes you think of the good stuff WWE guys do. Make sure to remember that if you're a Connecticut registered voter.
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Darren Young/Titus O'Neil
Young and Truth start things off. They fight into the corner and Truth punches him a bit. Off to Kofi with the springboard cross body for two. Kofi takes down both opponents but Titus' distraction lets Young hit his belly to back suplex onto the apron to take over. Off to Titus who slams Kofi and hits a splash in the corner. Another attempt hits boots and it's off to Young and Truth again. Truth speeds things up and hits the spinning forearm. DDT gets two as Titus saves. Kofi knocks O'Neil to the floor and hits a dive as the Little Jimmy pins Young at 2:59.
Just a quick aside here: we have Young and O'Neil brought up as a new team who look impressive, so in I think their fourth match they job clean to the champions in less than three minutes. That's a great way to make these guys look good. This is where JOBBERS should be used. Throw Slater and someone else out there for this match and save Young/O'Neil for later. Unfortunately there are only five teams (Colons, champions, O'Neil/Young, Usos (are they still alive?) and Swagger/Ziggler) They're saving the Colons for a big match I guess, so this is all they can use and that's why there's no division.
Don't Be A Bully! How long before it's time to STAND UP for WWE?
Ryder is filming stuff for his show in the back but Sandow is standing next to him. And that's that apparently.
Video on Ryback. He's 1/3 of the they're monsters but we have no idea what to do with him yet so we'll keep having him squash people until the fans get bored of him trio with Tensai and Clay.
Damien Sandow vs. Yoshi Tatsu
Sandow won't fight for the same reasons he gave two weeks ago. He leaves but Tatsu calls him a chicken, complete with clucking. Sandow runs in and takes off the robe to reveal hot pink tights that Rick Martel would look twice at and destroys Tatsu. He hits a version of the Regal Cutter with both arms pulled instead of just one and then leaves. There was no bell and no pin so this wasn't a match.
We recap the events that set up the fourway other than the actual announcement of the match.
Orton and Sheamus are in the back with Striker. Sheamus says he's looking forward to fighting three guys and rubs in that he's not champion anymore. Orton says he's no longer so overconfident that he overlooks his opponents. He can beat anyone on Sunday but wants to beat Sheamus. Sheamus says he can kick Orton right now but Orton says compared to him, Sheamus is too nice a guy.
Zack Ryder vs. Daniel Bryan
Ryder gets in some offense to start but a running knee puts him down. The running dropkick in the corner gets two. Bryan works on the arm a bit but gets caught by the knees in the corner. Broski Boot misses and Bryan kicks him in the head. YES Lock gets the submission at 2:28. Squash.
Kane vs. CM Punk
Bryan is sitting in on commentary, which is going to multiply the build for this match by about 10,000%. Kane knocks him down to start so Punk fires some kicks to the legs. A clothesline puts Kane on the floor and we take a break. Back with Punk kicking the knee some more and hitting a DDT for two. Punk hooks a Figure Four AND IT'S ON THE PROPER LEG!!! Kane breaks it quickly but I'm in too much shock to care.
Punk springboards into the uppercut and takes over with some very slow kicks. A baseball slide sends Punk's ribs into the post and Kane focuses on them for a bit. Off to a bearhug and then a backbreaker for two. There's a body vice as Bryan talks about the history with Punk and how their paths reached this point. See how easy it is? Back up and Punk escapes the chokeslam and hits a swinging neckbreaker for two.
Punk hits the knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered as you would expect it to be. Since that didn't work he goes to the middle rope for the bulldog which gets two. He tries the GTS but the ribs give out. Big boot gets two for Kane. Bryan sounds like a kid at Christmas with the ribs being hurt.
Kane loads up a superplex but Punk shoves him off and hits the Macho Elbow for two. He tries the Vice but Kane blocks it. Top rope clothesline puts Punk down and it's chokeslam time. Punk hits the High Kick to counter and Kane goes to the floor. Suicide dive takes Kane out but Bryan pops up with a chair. He hits Kane which gives Kane the DQ win at 9:50 shown of 13:20.
Bryan runs and sees Punk with the chair near him, so he destroys Punk with it. Bryan hit Kane in the back if that clears anything up. A chokeslam in the ring leaves Punk laying.
Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes
This is the result of an epic Twitter War this week over which title means more. If you don't know who's losing here, I can't help you. Booker says the IC Title is a little more prestigious. Cody hits some knees to the ribs to take over but the moonsault press misses. Here's the Cobra but Cody dropkicks him down for two. And never mind as the Cobra hits for the pin at 1:59. Hey Vince, congratulations on crushing a guy that could be a big star for you because his brother got fired. Seriously, why else could this be happening?
Since having a match go longer than two minutes is impossible, here's Ace's promo from earlier tonight to fill in time.
Now we spend TEN FULL MINUTES reairing the ENTIRE Big Show firing segment from Monday.
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
There's a TON of time left for this because nothing else has happened on this show. Feeling out process to start with Orton getting caught in a headlock. Randy speeds things up and hits a dropkick to take over. They go into the corner and it turns into a shoving match followed by a fight. A clothesline puts the champion down and Orton does his stomping, focusing on the ankle for a bit.
A knee drop misses and Sheamus comes back with right hands in the corner. Orton punches back but Sheamus' are better and he takes over. Randy comes back with a clothesline to send Sheamus to the floor but he sends Orton into the steps. Brogue Kick misses and Orton rams Sheamus' shoulder into the post. No one has had a distinct advantage at all so far. That's Sheamus' bad shoulder so there's some psychology thrown in there.
Orton stomps on the arm to drive it into the steps as we take a break. Back with Orton bending the arm around the ropes. Some elbows to the arm keep Sheamus down as does a DDT on the arm. Off to a chinlock with an arm trap. Sheamus starts a comeback but gets sent into the corner shoulder first. The champ manages to send him to the floor and hits a high knee followed by the ten forearms in the ropes.
Sheamus knocks Orton off the apron and into the barricade as we take another break. Back with Sheamus dropping knees on Orton which eventually get two. Regal Roll puts Orton down and Sheamus loads up the High Cross. Orton counters that too, this time into the backbreaker. Sheamus charges at him but Orton hooks a belly to belly of all things. He tries the elevated DDT but Sheamus guillotines him on the top to escape.
Slingshot shoulder puts Orton down and there are the running ax handles. Powerslam gets two. Another Irish Curse attempt is broken up but another attempt connects for two. Sheamus goes up but Orton stops him with punches followed by a top rope superplex. That only gets two and they slug it out. Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus gets caught in the rope and the elevated DDT. Orton loads up the RKO but Sheamus ducks. Brogue Kick misses and Orton tries the RKO again, but Sheamus drops down into a rollup for the pin at 16:35 shown of 23:35.
Post match they shake hands and Orton RKOs him. That's a pretty heelish move.
Results
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Titus O'Neil/Darren Young Little Jimmy to Young
Daniel Bryan b. Zack Ryder YES Lock
Kane b. CM Punk via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered
Santino Marella b. Cody Rhodes Cobra
Sheamus b. Randy Orton Rollup
Saturday
Sin Cara came back last night at a house show.
Sunday
Over The Limit 2012
Date: May 20, 2012
Location: PNC Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler
Well we have to get this one over with I guess. This is the least interesting and probably least built up show I can remember in years. As of 5:05 PM on the day of the show, we have five matches scheduled for the show, not counting the pre-show match. There are bound to be some matches added, which have to help this show. This is one of the PPVs I'm going into with zero expectations which usually helps a show a lot. That being said, I'm not sure if it works if you plan that way in advance. Let's get to it.
Apparently there's been a battle royal added to the show and the winner gets to pick the IC or US Title to challenge for tonight. That'll help a lot.
Pre-Show: Kane vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder is taken into the corner but shoves Kane away and shouts that he's not afraid. WHY DID HE NEVER FREAKING DO THAT WHEN HE WAS US CHAMPION THEN??? Ryder gets him to chase him and hits a kind of baseball slide. I really like the set as it looks like a speedometer much like the videos have looked. A suicide dive puts Kane down as he keeps looking for a countout.
Back in and Ryder pounds away but it's short lived as Kane knocks him down and starts using the power. Clothesline gets two. Off to a bearhug which doesn't last long. Seated dropkick gets two and it's off to a body vice. Ryder fights out of it with elbows and hits a quick neckbreaker for two. He snaps Kane's throat on the top rope but as he goes up, Kane hits an uppercut. Kane charges into the corner knees but the Rough Ryder is countered and a side slam gets two. Ryder comes back again and hits the Broski Boot for one. He loads up the Rough Ryder but charges into the chokeslam for the pin at 6:47.
Battle Royal
The battle royal is on the pre-show too? Dang I was about to turn it off too. We have Miz, Khali, JTG, Ezekiel Jackson, Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, Michael McGillicutty, Yoshi Tatsu, Tyson Kidd, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre, Heath Slater, Titus O'Neil, Darren Young, Alex Riley, David Otunga, William Regal (BIG chant), and Christian.
This is going to be on the PPV which is good. The winner can pick the US Title or IC Title to challenge for later tonight. There are 20 men in all. This is a cool idea to start the show with. No opening video either. They start with the usual punching and kicking until Khali throws Slater out. There goes McGillicutty by the same man. The Usos hit a double superkick to put JTG out, making me love them even more.
Drew suplexes Yoshi out and he lands BAD on his ankle. If he's not hurt it'll be a miracle. Reks and Hawkins put Jackson out just before Darren Young puts an Uso out. Someone puts McIntyre out. I'm sorry for all of the so and so is out but there's not much else you can say until a lot of the guys are gone. Khali puts out Hawkins and Reks and does the same to Mahal. I think there are ten left.
Regal tries to put Kidd out but gets caught in a chokeout. Miz, Young and O'Neil team up to put Khali out. That more or less leaves Miz, Christian and maybe Otunga as the only likely winners. Jackson misses a charge and the remaining Uso kicks him out. Young and let's say Jey go to the apron and Young knocks him out. Ok we have Miz, Young, Kidd, Regal (out as I type his name, drawing HUGE boos), Christian, Kidd and Otunga. Riley dropkicks Young out to get it to five.
Riley hits a spinebuster on Miz but gets sent to the apron. He goes up top but Miz guillotines him to get it to four. It's Christian, Miz, Kidd and Otunga. Otunga sends Christian's shoulder into the post as Kidd kicks Miz. I think Christian is a face here. Kidd gets sent to the apron but hits a springboard missile dropkick to knock Miz and Otunga down. Kidd goes to the apron and tries to headscissor Kidd out, but Otunga dumps Tyson.
Otunga and Miz team up against Christian for a double beating but the corner clothesline misses. Christian dumps Otunga and has to hang on from a sneak attack by Miz. The Finale is countered and Christian is thrown to the apron. Miz chokes him on the apron with a boot but Christian kicks him away. From the apron, Christian throws Miz to the apron as well and a shoulder to the ribs gives the Canadian the win at 12:36.
Christian picks Santino in a surprising move.
Now we get the opening video, which is about change and people power.
Vickie suggests she'll be the new GM if Ace loses.
Tag Titles: Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston
Kofi and Swagger get us going. Jack takes it to the mat but opts for a standing top wristlock instead. Not much happens so it's off to Truth for a double hiptoss. Spinning legdrop gets two. Ziggler comes in but Kofi gets a blind tag and a springboard missile dropkick for two. Swagger gets in a shot from the apron and a tag to take over. He works on the arm some more and it's off to Truth who speeds things up.
Vickie distracts the referee which results in Dolph getting his head kicked off. Swagger puts Truth down and hits the Vader Bomb for two. Ziggler comes back in with a Crossface of all things as King is talking about Vickie's navel. Cole: If you two were as good at commentating as you were at looking at Vickie you'd be in the Hall of Fame. King: I already am. That was funny for some reason.
Swagger takes Truth down but Truth comes back with a flurry of punches. They don't get him anywhere as Ziggler comes in for a double team, getting two. Dolph does the handstands on the chinlock which is impressive. Back to Jack who takes Truth into the corner but gets caught by a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Double tag brings in Kofi and Dolph and an SOS gets two. Springboard cross body gets two as Jack makes the save. As Kofi is coming back in he gets caught by a Fameasser for two. Truth dives onto Swagger and Dolph jumps with a Stinger Splash, right into Trouble in Paradise to retain at 12:28.
Eve tells Hawkins and Reks to go into the crowd and confiscate all anti-Laurinitis signs. Otunga says this is legally ok. There has to be a rib here somewhere.
Divas Title: Layla vs. Beth Phoenix
Layla is defending. She grabs a headlock to start but Beth powers her down. The fans want Kharma. Layla takes her back down and pounds away, including an elbow into a charging Beth. Beth counters a rana (I think) out of the corner into a powerbomb to work on the knee. She wraps it around the post and slams her down for two.
There's a half crab and a tap chant. Layla comes back with a rolling cradle for two. This is a really boring match. After a quick bit on the apron, the Glam Slam is countered into a kind of DDT for two. Another attempt is countered into a rollup for two but Beth counters into one of her own with tights for two. Beth takes the knee out again but walks into the Layout for the pin at 7:13.
We go to Orton and see a clip of him hitting the RKO after losing to Sheamus. He says Sheamus would have done the same to him. Jericho comes up and says he enjoyed the match on Smackdown with the two of them beating on each other. He says he'll win, but Orton says that Jericho will only be the best in the world at losing to him.
Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton
I've been looking forward to this. During the big match intros, the announcers talk about how he has a 25% chance of winning. Wouldn't they always have at best a 50% chance? Anyway Jericho goes after Orton and Del Rio jumps Sheamus. The good guys almost have a rematch from Friday but the heels jump them again. Del Rio and Jericho are knocked to the floor and it's rematch time.
Sheamus takes over but gets pulled to the floor by Jericho and thrown into the barricade. Del Rio jumps Orton and works on the arm. The fans chant SI as Del Rio and Jericho have a brief alliance. Alberto heads to the floor and works on Sheamus' arm, sending him into the table. In the ring Orton suplexes Jericho and stomps him for two. The heels team up again but once Jericho goes for a cover it's time to fight.
Orton comes back to clothesline Del Rio to the floor and it's Randy vs. Jericho for a bit. Enziguri gets two for the Canadian. Sheamus has apparently stopped living as he's been gone for about three minutes now. Cole talks about Raw going three hours as Orton loads up a superplex. Del Rio makes the save for some reason and Orton goes to the floor with Jericho. Sheamus comes back with the top rope shoulder and some knees to Del Rio in the corner.
Regal Roll puts Del Rio down again and Sheamus shouts BROGUE. Del Rio blocks it with an enziguri for two. Into the corner and Sheamus fires off a bunch of elbows to Del Rio's head. That corner has been a bad place for him so far. Powerslam gets two. The periods of guys laying on the floor is a lot longer tonight. Del Rio takes out the knee and a dropkick to Sheamus while the champ is on his knees gets two.
Del Rio misses a charging kick and gets caught in position for the ten forearms. Jericho pops up with a shot to the back, sending Del Rio and Sheamus to the floor and onto Ricardo. Orton comes back in with the powerslams to Jericho and an elevated DDT to the champion. Cross armbreaker beaks up the RKO but Jericho saves Randy. Lionsault gets knees from Del Rio but Orton hits the backbreaker on Jericho. Irish Curse puts Del Rio down but Orton tries the RKO. Sheamus escapes and misses the Kick but he counters the RKO into a rollup like Friday for two. Orton sends him into the post and out to the floor. Great sequence.
Double DDT takes out Del Rio and Ricardo but Del Rio sends Orton to the floor. Cross armbreaker to Jericho is counters into the Walls (SWEET) but Sheamus comes in to break it up. Jericho ducks the Kick and hits the Codebreaker for two. Cole picks NOW to plug WWE.com. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Jericho hits his finisher so TIME TO PLUG THE WEBSITE!!! Regal Roll is countered into the Walls but Randy RKOs him. Del Rio saves that and takes one of his own. Brogue Kick takes down Orton (great selling) and Jericho rolls Sheamus up with tights for two. I thought that was it. White Noise to Jericho retains at 16:00.
Cody and Eve talk in the back and Rhodes is glad the IC Title is getting legitimized tonight. He says he would have embarrassed Christian tonight and guess who is behind him. Christian changes his mind and is challenging Cody tonight. That's an intriguing feud if they let Cody be himself.
Here's Miz for a match but he has a mic first. He also has the coat back which is an upgrade. Miz says that the fans should be praising his existence. Everything that is wrong with the WWE can be summed up in two words: Brodus Clay. Miz says he's a better dancer and shows off a little bit. Brodus does his stuff and looks like a pumpkin with orange and black this week.
Brodus Clay vs. The Miz
This isn't a dance off thank goodness. Miz gets shoved into the corner and has his forearms shrugged off. Brodus rams Miz into the corner and hits a suplex. Miz tries to go up top but gets heabutted down. Miz sends Clay into the post on the floor. Back in a pair of top rope ax handles put Brodus down to his knee. Boot to the head gets two and it's off to a chinlock. Brodus gets up and runs him over, then hits his overhead suplex from the middle rope. Splash ends this at 4:13.
Reks and Hawkins are stealing signs.
Cody complains about the fans being happy with him having to defend the title tonight. He talks about his dad not letting him come to any shows in North Carolina as a kid, and now he knows it's because he's better than everyone else. Tonight he'll prove that he's better than Christian. I'm liking these short pre-match promos. They add a little something to them.
Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes
Christian throws him to the floor to start and Cody is frustrated. Cody comes back in with a Russian legsweep for two and we hit the armbar/neckcrank. Christian gets up but gets dropkicked in the back of his head for two. Cody works him over in the corner and we head outside. The champ climbs the steps like he's setting for the Disaster Kick but hits a dropkick instead.
Back inside and Cody jumps into a punch to the ribs. Pendulum Kick sets up a middle rope missile dropkick for two. The crowd has gone dead after the foruway. Killswitch is broken up but Christian pops him in the face to keep momentum. Top rope dropkick misses and Cody rolls him up for two. Tornado DDT is countered and Christian stands there for the moonsault press (looked really stupid) for two. Cody yells at the fans about being tired of being jerked around and walks into the Killswitch to give us a new champion at 7:28.
We go to Punk in the back and see a clip from the end of the Punk vs. Kane match with Bryan getting Punk a beating by Kane. Punk is happy that tonight Ace will be out of a job. First up though is Daniel Bryan who he's known for ten years. Ten years ago, if you had told Vince that these two would be fighting for the WWE Title on a WWE PPV, you would hear him ask who they both were (complete with a funny Vince imitation). Bryan is a changed man and those changes have gotten on his bad side. Tonight won't just be a five star classic, but it'll be.....and here's AJ who says this is going to be fun. She wishes Punk luck.
Raw World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk
Cole again plugs WWE.com which has an article about their history. You know, because Cole can't TELL US THOSE THINGS. Feeling out process to start and Punk takes him into the corner and kicks at the leg. The fans seem totally split. A quick headlock goes nowhere so Punk works on the knee some more. Modified Indian Deathlock goes on from the champ but Bryan gets on top of him and fires off forearms.
Punk weathers that and hits a curb stomp of all things for two. He sends Bryan to the floor but Bryan is ready for him and sends Punk back first into the barricade. The bad ribs are draped over the barricade and Bryan takes over. Back in a top rope missile dropkick (with knee selling) gets two. Bryan hooks a seated abdominal stretch with some elbows to the ribs. Knee drop gets one.
Punk tries a Figure Four out of nowhere (complete with WOO chants. We're in North Carolina remember) but Bryan rolls him up for two. There's a surfboard (complete with YES each time he rocks back) which is always cool to me. Bryan keeps Punk's legs in the air and bends his face down into a dragon sleeper at the same time. FREAKING OW MAN! Off to a regular dragon sleeper but Punk comes back with forearms of his own. That's some nice storytelling as they've mirrored each other completely, even down to the counter into mounted forearms, for the first ten minutes.
Bryan hits a hard running knee drop to the back to keep Punk down. Another misses and Punk gets a Perfectplex for two. Bryan suplexes him down and hits a swan dive headbutt for two. Off to a chinlock with a knee in the back of the champ. Punk gets up and they both hit cross bodies to put both guys down. Back up and Punk fires off forearms and hits the neckbreaker.
Punk tries the corner clothesline but gets kicked in the face. Powerslam gets two for the champ. Bryan escapes a suplex but Punk backdrops him to the floor. Suicide dive takes Daniel down but he hits a dropkick to counter the springboard clothesline for two. Bryan fires off the kicks but the last one is caught in a dragon screw leg whip. Figure Four goes on and the fans get fired up again.
With the hold on they slap it out but Punk doesn't let go of the hold. Bryan makes the rope and Booker shouts that he has til five. Knee crusher is countered into a sunset flip for two. Punk's rollup gets the same. Bryan tries something with the arm but Punk pulls away. Bryan is cool with that and kicks Punk's head off for two. They go to the corner and Punk crotches Bryan on the top.
With Bryan sitting on the ropes, Punk hits the springboard clothesline for two. We're at almost twenty minutes now and they're showing no signs of ending soon. The fans think this is awesome. I can't remember the last time I've heard that at a WWE show. They trade forearms from their knees and Punk takes over with his strikes. GTS is countered into a rollup for two.
YES Lock is countered into a slingshot to send Bryan to the apron. He skins the cat but walks into a high kick for two. Bryan put his foot on the rope so Punk hooks it for another two. I like that. Macho Elbow hits but the ribs are too hurt to cover. A Randy Savage chant starts up as Punk gets two. Bryan goes off, firing knees into the ribs. He charges but the running dropkick misses.
Running knee hits but the bulldog is countered into the YES Lock in the middle of the ring. Bryan pulls too hard and Punk falls on top for the pin at 24:04. He was tapping at the same time though so there's your rematch at No Way Out. I think the pin stands though. Replay shows that the three count was clearly done before Punk tapped and the announcers acknowledged it.
Yeah another replay shows that the referee was almost up to his feet saying ring the bell before Punk tapped. It's not even close.
Eve and Otunga are in the back and run into Teddy. He's happy because if Ace loses, the two of them might get fired.
Camacho vs. Ryback
Lillian says that it's Hunico but it's Camacho. Good reaction for Ryback who has Nexus like R bands on his arm. What do you expect here? We get Goldberg chants, some offense from Camacho, spinebuster, a powerbomb and the MuscleBuster for the pin at 1:52.
We recap the main event. Ace calls it People Power, naturally he's corrupt boss #8000 and brings in Lesnar to be his big machine, only to have Lesnar lose to Cena in his first match. This leads to Ace vs. Cena and if Cena wins, Ace is fired. Oh and if any wrestler interferes, he's fired. Did I mention Big Show was fired on Monday?
John Cena vs. John Laurinatis
We hear about some All Japan titles and I quote, one of the greatest tag teams of all times in the Dynamic Dudes. For those of you unfamiliar, NO. Just NO. Ace is in a full body black suit which is skin tight. I think it's Under Armour. Just to be clear: The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Johnny Ace. Also for the sake of this, if I use the name John, I will only be referring to Cena. You can only win by pin or submission and if Ace loses he's fired.
Ace immediately runs to the crowd but Cena catches him. He rips the Armour up and hits a loud chop to the chest and the back. LONG airplane spin puts Ace on the floor and Cena rings the bell next to his ear. Cena puts Ace in Cole's chair and puts a headset on him. He grabs a mic and says he'll be Booker while Ace is Cole. Cena's imitations of both guys are pretty good and Ace says FIVE TIME while half unconscious. Ace has had no offense at all.
Back into the ring and Ace begs for mercy. He extends a hand which gets him slammed. Cena grabs a mic and says he has an idea. He says he's about to put Ace in the STF and if Ace taps, he's fired. If Ace can last ten seconds, Cena will let go and in the name of PEOPLE POWER, the fans can keep time. Cena lets go at ten and says the good news is that Ace survived. The bad news is he's going to do it again. Cena isn't cranking on it at all.
John goes to the floor and gets some water. He thinks Ace needs some water too so he gets three bottles and pours them over Ace. One of them go down Ace's pants. Now it's time for a fire extinguisher. Ace begs for mercy so Cena only sprays him a bit. It's been hot around here so that doesn't sound half bad right now. Cena sprays him for about fifteen seconds and Ace looks like a snowman. This is hilarious so far.
Cena finds a trashcan which is full of popcorn and drinks. Well at least it washes the foam off. Ace gets into the crowd as Cena is looking for more stuff but Cena catches him. Ace gets in a shot to the bad arm and Cena is in some trouble. The arm goes into the table as Cole is losing his mind. It goes into the steps and Ace grabs a chair. Naturally, he hits Cena in the ribs instead of the arm but at least he's trying. A few shots to the back get two.
Cena blocks a chair shot to the head and trips Ace's legs with it. Instead of the Shuffle, Cena drives the chair into Ace's face. He picks Ace up but takes a low blow to put him back down again. Ace goes into the crowd again and slowly crawls up the aisle. He gets past the floor seats and Cena is still in the ring. Ace gets out of the arena and the referee isn't sure what to do.
And here it is. Big Show pops up with Ace by his throat and drags him back to the ring. He throws Ace back in (with a beer gut the size of your local luchador) and Cena is ready. Ace begs off some more so Show stands on his hand. Cena puts him in the AA and of course Show punches him to the shock of no one. Ace gets the pin at 17:08.
Everyone is SHOCKED to end the show. SHOCKED I SAY!
Results
Christian won a battle royal, last eliminating The Miz
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger Trouble in Paradise to Ziggler
Layla b. Beth Phoenix Layout
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio, Chris Jericho and Randy Orton White Noise to Jericho
Brodus Clay b. The Miz Splash
Christian b. Cody Rhodes Killswitch
CM Punk b. Daniel Bryan Rollup
Ryback b. Camacho MuscleBuster
John Laurinaitis b. John Cena Pin after WMD from Big Show
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
CM Punk/Santino Marella b. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes GTS to Rhodes
Beth Phoenix b. Alicia Fox Glam Slam
Kane b. Big Show Chokeslam
Brodus Clay/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/The Miz Splash to Miz
Chris Jericho b. Randy Orton via DQ when Sheamus interfered
NXT
Johnny Curtis b. Percy Watson Spinning Falcon's Arrow
Ezekiel Jackson/Great Khali b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks Punjabi Plunge to Reks
Kaitlyn b. Maxine Leg full nelson
Tyson Kidd b. Michael McGillicutty and Derrick Bateman Dungeon Lock to Bateman
Impact Wrestling
Bully Ray b. Rob Van Dam Bully Cutter
AJ Styles won a battle royal last eliminating Gunner
Jeff Hardy b. Mr. Anderson Crucifix
Gail Kim b. Brooke Tessmacher and Velvet Sky Rollup to Tessmacher
Kurt Angle b. Samoa Joe Rollup
Smackdown
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Titus O'Neil/Darren Young Little Jimmy to Young
Daniel Bryan b. Zack Ryder YES Lock
Kane b. CM Punk via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered
Santino Marella b. Cody Rhodes Cobra
Sheamus b. Randy Orton Rollup
Over The Limit 2012
Christian won a battle royal, last eliminating The Miz
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger Trouble in Paradise to Ziggler
Layla b. Beth Phoenix Layout
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio, Chris Jericho and Randy Orton White Noise to Jericho
Brodus Clay b. The Miz Splash
Christian b. Cody Rhodes Killswitch
CM Punk b. Daniel Bryan Rollup
Ryback b. Camacho MuscleBuster
John Laurinaitis b. John Cena Pin after WMD from Big Show