klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Thursday
Sanada is gone from TNA.
Smackdown
Date: April 16, 2015
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
It's time for the last TV show of the European tour. You can see most of the Extreme Rules card from here as a lot of the stipulations have been announced. The main event will see Randy Orton challenging Seth Rollins inside a cage with the RKO banned. A few things still need to be filled in on the card though as we've got less than two weeks to go. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here's John Cena to open things up. Why is he always surprised that a British crowd is booing a loud American talking about how great his country is and bragging about being the champion of his country? After a quick look at Rusev's attack on Monday, Cena goes over the rules of the Russian chain match, which is the four corners version. There's a chance that he won't even be in it though because he's issuing another open challenge RIGHT NOW.
He gets Cesaro/Kidd/Natalya, but they're not here to accept the challenge. Instead, they're here to drop FACTS. Cena has been out here pandering to the crowd (fact!) and saying London deserves a Wrestlemania (fact!) but that's a blatant lie. They think the please retire chants should have been directed at Cena, which the fans here don't seem to agree with. Cena tells either guy to bring it on but cue Daniel Bryan to even things up.
Bryan has heard Cesaro and Kidd calling themselves the greatest champions in WWE today but he'd like to ask the fans what they think. When he gets to himself he changes it to being the most handsome man in WWE. That gets a mixed reaction, so Bryan just asks for the tag match to get the fans back on his side. Kidd quickly accepts so we can have the Tag Team Champions lose twice in four days. As a consolation prize, they've got something with that FACT line.
Neville vs. Sheamus tonight. That would be the third World Champion he's fought out of the four opponents he's faced.
Bray Wyatt vs. R-Truth
Lawler calls this a rare in ring appearance for Wyatt. That's true as it's been a whole week since we last saw him wrestle on Smackdown. Truth hammers away and actually puts Bray down. We get the pelvic thrust but Bray spiders up and nails an uppercut. The chokeslam is countered so Wyatt just runs him over and hits Sister Abigail for the pin at 1:38. That's the fifth time Bray has squashed Truth on TV in just over a year.
We look back at the Divas battle royal on Monday and Naomi jumping Paige post match, sending her off to film a movie.
This week's WWE.com interview is with Roman Reigns, who says he's going to get back up every time Big Show puts him down. He's speaking in just above a whisper.
Here's Miz with something to say. Mizdow got lucky on Monday because he made Mizdow what he is, just like he made Summer Rae and the Marine 4 into a soon to be success. Cue Bad News Barrett who says we're in London tonight. The fans aren't here to see a pretend movie star, because they want to see the future six time Intercontinental Champion.
Miz vs. Bad News Barrett
Miz spends 27 seconds taking off his sunglasses and turns into the Bull Hammer for the pin at 34 seconds. I think the fans have forgotten Monday's loss to Cena.
We recap Orton and Rollins on Raw with both guys winning matches to earn a stipulation for the title match at Extreme Rules.
Damien Mizdow and Summer Rae are with Renee Young and celebrate the win on Monday when Miz comes in. He isn't cool with Mizdow using his gimmick, but Summer says Mizdow does Miz better than Miz. Mizdow takes off his sunglasses and starts imitating Miz again before challenging Miz to one more match on Monday for the whole Miz character. Summer talks Miz into taking the match, pretty much guaranteeing that she turns on Mizdow. She slaps him for good measure.
Sheamus vs. Neville
Neville is now billed as sensational. Before the match, Sheamus says Neville is a tiny little man, just like Daniel Bryan and Dolph Ziggler. He brags about being from the real Ireland and his people don't like the English. Neville puts the mouthpiece in and is shoved into the corner for some forearms to the back. Some front flips give Neville some room to hit a running hurricanrana to send Sheamus outside for a twisting flip dive.
Back in and Sheamus rolls away before Neville can try the Red Arrow. Instead Neville dives at Sheamus but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl slam on the floor. Back with Neville fighting out of a chinlock but Sheamus picks him up for a suplex and just throws him down in a big crash. The Irish Curse plants Neville and we hit another chinlock. This one doesn't last as long though and Neville avoids a charge, sending Sheamus' shoulder into the post. A running kick to the face and the standing moonsault get two for Neville and Sheamus is staggered.
Neville breaks up the ten forearms and ducks a Brogue Kick before hitting a missile dropkick. A kick to the head in the corner sets up the Red Arrow but it's a middle rope Phoenix Splash for two more instead. Now he goes up for the Red Arrow but gets crotched down, but Neville counters White Noise into a sunset flip for two. Back up and Sheamus clotheslines him out to the floor and drops him onto the announcers' table for the DQ at 10:53.
Sheamus throws him back inside and drives knees into his head until Dolph Ziggler comes out for the save. Sheamus bails but Ziggler grabs the mic and says no one from the Germans to the Bronies to the Irish like Sheamus. Ziggler is going to stand up to Sheamus but Sheamus tells him what he can kiss. He means it literally though, because they're having a Kiss Me Arse match at Extreme Rules. To recap: Neville vs. Sheamus and Ziggler were entertaining matches but the match between the two stars has a comedy stipulation. I think I prefer it that way actually.
Los Matadores vs. New Day
Big E.'s entrance: OH O2! It may not be the USA but I guess it'll do! Diego chops Big E. to start but gets stomped down in the corner. You can tell New Day is officially heel now as they're in the bottom right hand corner of the ring and that's where heels always stand. Off to Kofi who walks into a jawbreaker and springboards into a shot to the ribs. Fernando gets two off a rollup and everything breaks down. Trouble in Paradise drops Diego as Torito armdrags Woods. The Midnight Hour ends Fernando at 2:33.
We recap Fandango dumping Rosa.
In the back, Fandango reiterates that Rosa is dumped. He leaves and the Rosebuds run by in a scene that only makes sense in wrestling or on Monty Python. Rose says Rosa can be #1 again in a certain somebody's life. Think about it.
Here's Big Show with something to say. This past Monday proved that English people suck because they don't appreciate the fact that he's the best giant of all time. No one in the world, including Roman Reigns, can stop him. Show doesn't answer to anyone but the Authority because he doesn't see Reigns as anything but a victim of an automobile crash.
This Monday, it was the car getting hit by Reigns and we see a clip of Show throwing him at the car. Then he kneed Roman in the head, complete with clip. The chokeslam on top of the car gets the same treatment to really stretch this out. Show sits on top of the car and shows us a clip of Reigns walking off under his own power. That's not cool with Big Show, so it's a last man standing match at Extreme Rules. Man, if there's one thing that the least interesting feud in the world needed, it was a six minute segment from one of the most boring talkers in years. That's got my money for sure.
Cameron vs. Alicia Fox vs. Natalya
I sit through a Big Show promo and my reward is a Cameron match??? Cameron gets double teamed to start and knocked to the floor. Fox bails to the ropes to avoid the Sharpshooter but Cameron comes back in with a rollup for two on Natalya. It's Fox taking over by running over both girls with clotheslines, only to get taken down for Natalya's stepover into the basement dropkick for two. A superkick drops Cameron for two but she gets in a forearm to Fox's jaw.
Cameron makes the mistake of going up though and gets caught in the top of a Tower of Doom to put everyone down. Fox is thrown outside, leaving Cameron to trade rollups with Natalya for two each. Believe it or not, Cameron doesn't horribly botch anything! She's improving! Natalya puts Cameron in the Sharpshooter, then does the same to Fox, only to break it up to throw Cameron outside. Fox kicks her in the face and nails the ax kick but Cameron throws Fox to the floor and pins Natalya at 4:45.
Post match Alicia throws a fit so I guess we really are down to just Emma and Summer (I'm guessing until Monday) as face Divas. Really, who else is there?
Fandango vs. Adam Rose
Fandango scores with an early dropkick and clotheslines Rose to the floor for a slingshot dive. Rosa comes out to yell at Fandango, allowing Rose to baseball slide him down. Back in and Adam looks at Rosa, setting up the rollup to give Fandango the pin at 1:24.
Bray Wyatt asks what happens when you lose it all. Eventually you're going to be all alone with nothing but regret. You should be more careful because the reaper walks in the daylight.
John Cena/Daniel Bryan vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro
Cena and his black eye start against Kidd with John shoving him down. It's off to Cesaro for a test of strength but Kidd gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over. He comes back in legally for a front facelock, followed by a spinning kick to the face for two. Cesaro knocks Bryan off the apron to break up a hot tag attempt and gets two off a suplex.
Cena sends Cesaro into the corner and Kidd out to the floor but Tyson pulls Bryan off the apron. The STF on Cesaro is quickly broken up behind the referee's back and Kidd hits a low dropkick to Cena for two. Cena hits a quick backdrop (totally different than the AA of course) and the hot tag finally brings in Bryan.
A series of right hands sets up the moonsault out of the corner but he hits a running boot through the ropes instead of the Flying Goat to Cesaro. There are the YES Kicks in the corner followed by a top rope hurricanrana for two. Both Tag Team Champs get YES Kicks but Bryan has to yell at Natalya. Kidd accidentally knocks her off the apron and into Cesaro, allowing Bryan to YES Lock Kidd for the win at 7:49.
Bryan and Cena celebrate to end the show.
Results
Bray Wyatt b. R-Truth Sister Abigail
Bad News Barrett b. Miz Bull Hammer
Neville b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus threw him ono the announcers' table
New Day b. Los Matadores Midnight Hour to Fernando
Cameron b. Alicia Fox and Natalya Cameron pinned Natalya after an ax kick from Fox
Fandango b. Adam Rose Rollup
John Cena/Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro YES Lock to Kidd
Friday
Impact Wrestling
Date: April 17, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentator: Josh Matthews
Tonight is a one idea show as there will be a full Tag Team Title tournament with four first round matches and the winners advancing to an Ultimate X match for the championships. There may also be some more about Kurt Angle's World Title, with Eric Young as the next potential challenger due to Angle not pinning him last week. Let's get to it.
We open with a preview of the tournament.
Here are the first round matches:
James Storm/Khoya
Hardys
Low Ki/Kenny King
Mr. Anderson/Rockstar Spud
Ethan Carter III/Bram
Tigre Uno/Jay Rios
BroMans
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode
Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Khoya/James Storm vs. Hardys
The Hardys attack at the bell and it's a brawl to start. The Revolution gets the better of it with Khoya throwing Jeff around to take over and the fans cheering for Matt. James and Khoya take turns beating on Matt until Storm puts on a chinlock. Khoya gets two off a clothesline but Matt sweeps Storm's leg and makes the tag off to Jeff. Things speed way up with the legdrop between the legs and basement dropkick to Storm's face but Jeff has to deal with an interfering Khoya. That goes badly for the Revolution as Storm Last Calls Khoya by mistake, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 5:40.
Storm beats up Khoya, hopefully signaling the ending of the group.
The Hardys say it's time to fulfill their destiny. To be associated with better teams and be considered great by proxy instead of doing anything by yourselves?
Eric Young says he should be #1 contender. We get a CRAZY closeup of his CRAZY face to make sure that his CRAZY voice is clearly heard. He's CRAZY you see.
Here's Eric Young in a Kurt Angle shirt. He's not happy because Angle is ducking him for a World Title shot. Young doesn't care how many people he has to hurt because he wants his shot as #1 contender. This brings out Kurt, who says if Young wants to say something to him, say it to his face.
Young sees him as someone that can be hurt because the title belongs to him. Kurt says the title match is next week but he wants to know why Eric is doing all these things. Young talks about a hole in his spirit after he lost the title. That's fine with Angle, but he wants the old Eric Young next week. Kurt turns his back and dares Eric to hit him, but Young says he'll see him next week. This has been another chapter in Eric Young sucks and has no business in this spot theater.
The BDC threatens Spud in the back but Anderson comes in for the save.
Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Rockstar Spud/Mr. Anderson vs. Kenny King/Low Ki
Spud charges in a bit too fast and gets double teamed to start with Low Ki chopping him down. After both BDC members get in some right hands, King stomps Spud in the back to keep him from lunging for a tag. King ducks an enziguri and kicks Spud in the ribs to keep him in trouble but the fans are entirely behind Spud. Ki puts on an abdominal stretch to stay on the bad ribs for some psychology.
The BDC breaks up another hot tag attempt so Anderson comes in with a double clothesline and drags Spud to the corner before getting back on the apron. That makes the hot tag a lot easier and Anderson comes in to clean house. Anderson throws Spud into a hurricanrana to send Ki to the floor and the Underdog plants King, only to have Ki come off the top with the Warrior's Way to Spud, giving King the pin at 6:50.
Carter says he and Bram will win the titles tonight as a preview for his World Title run. Bram: I'm going to rip Tigre Uno's mask off and shove it down his throat! Carter: Good! Just make sure we win first.
MVP and Homicide congratulate Ki and King on the win. Homicide is given the special assignment (RUN! That's what they told Taz!) of beating up Kurt Angle.
Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Jay Rios/Tigre Uno vs. Bram/Ethan Carter III
Rios is a masked man who appeared as a jobber in TNA back in the Jeff Jarrett MMA days. He's certainly no Essa. Carter and Rios trade wristlocks to start before Tigre comes in for a double dropkick. Carter bails to the floor and Tigre makes the mistake of diving at Tyrus like a schmuck, earning him a World's Strongest Slam on the floor.
Bram gets in some stomps before Carter throws on a chinlock. A leg dive keeps Tigre from making the hot tag but Bram misses an elbow, allowing for the lukewarm tag to Rios. Jay flips out of a backdrop and hits a springboard into a cutter but Carter uses the arm brace to knock Rios silly, setting up the Brighter Side of Suffering, but Carter tags himself in for the pin at 3:50.
Kurt Angle says Young has gone from genius to crazy but he wants the old Young back. As for Homicide, he better have good insurance.
Christy Hemme brings out the Knockouts (or at least five of them) to announcer that next week is a night of all Knockouts. Love thinks the night should be all about her because she has the most Knockout Titles of all time. The fans chant for Brooke as Gail goes on her usual rant about how awesome the Knockouts are. Madison cuts her off before the entire building falls asleep and says none of them are the Queen Bee.
Christy tries to calm them down with the offer of a fourway between Brooke, Gail, Madison and Angelina for the #1 contendership. Brooke is WAY too excited about this announcement. There will also be new Knockouts and Taryn defending against Kong. Taryn talks about her passion and how she'll prove herself next week. Kong comes out and cleans house but Taryn dives onto everyone.
The BroMans seem to have issues with each other but Aries and Roode come in to say they'll focus on Robbie, who is clearly the better BroMan. Methinks shenanigans are afoot. Robbie leaves and Roode thinks he bought it. Bobby Roode and Austin Aries had to cause friction to beat the BroMans? Really?
Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: BroMans vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode
For the fourth match of the night, the good guys attack to start with Robbie getting beaten down by both former World Champions early on. Aries sidesteps an invading Jesse to send him into his partner, setting up the Hennig neck snap for two on Robbie. The BroMans finally get in some offense but get in an argument over who gets to work on Roode. Robbie hooks a chinlock before a clothesline gets two.
Jesse demands a tag and Robbie isn't too keen on doing as he asks. Roode comes back with a neckbreaker to drop both guys and the hot tag brings in Austin. He's quickly stopped by Godderz, but Jesse gets a bit too bossy, allowing Roode to break up the BroDown. Aries knocks Jesse outside for a suicide dive, setting up the spinebuster into the 450 from Aries for the pin on Jesse at 5:20.
The BroMans fight post match with DJZ coming out to try and break it up.
Homicide is beating up Angle in the back. The fight heads into the arena after a break with Angle getting back into it but eating a cutter in the ring. Angle ducks a boot shot and grabs the ankle lock, drawing in the BDC for the group attack. They bring in a chair but the Rising comes out to get rid of everyone but MVP. Eric Young comes out to stop MVP from bashing Angle with the chair but picks it up himself, only to drop it and leave (in a CRAAAAZY manner of course. Because he's crazy you see).
Video on Ultimate X.
Dollhouse is coming.
Preview for next week's Knockouts show.
Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Kenny King/Low Ki vs. Ethan Carter III/Bram vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode
Ultimate X. Huge brawl to start with the Hardys and Roode/Aries throwing the other four outside. Roode and Aries start taking over with Matthews continuing to call them by their old name of the Dirty Heels. The Hardys are tossed outside as well and we take a break. Back with the BDC and Bram/Carter clearing the ring for a change with Bram and Carter throwing the BDC to the floor. They decide to bring in a ladder but that's the Hardys game, allowing them to come back in and take over.
The BDC and the Hardys go for the ropes but Tyrus shakes the structure to break it up. Tyrus puts Carter on his shoulders but Aries dropkicks them down before Roode hits the Blockbuster on Bram. Roode gets on Aries' shoulders but Homicide comes in for the save. Now it's King and Matt on the ladder and Hardy hooking a Twist of Fate to put everyone down. Matt climbs up again but Ki springboards onto the ladder for the save. As they fight, Jeff climbs up above the X, kicks Ki away and pulls down the belts, while standing on a ladder of course, to win at 12:06.
Results
Hardys b. James Storm/Khoya Swanton Bomb to Khoya
Kenny King/Low Ki b. Mr. Anderson/Rockstar Spud King pinned Spud after a Warrior's Way from Ki
Ethan Carter III/Bram b. Tigre Uno/Jay Rios Brighter Side of Suffering to Rios
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. BroMans 450 to Godderz
Hardys b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode, Low Ki/Kenny King and Bram/Ethan Carter III Hardys pulled down the belts
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
John Cena b. Bad News Barrett Attitude Adjustment
Paige won a battle royal last eliminating Naomi
Lucha Dragons b. Ascension Swanton Bomb to Viktor
Randy Orton b. Cesaro via DQ when Tyson Kidd interfered
Randy Orton b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd RKO to Kidd
Dean Ambrose b. Adam Rose Dirty Deeds
Stardust b. Fandango Disaster Kick
Seth Rollins b. Kane Kane laid down
Damien Mizdow b. Miz Rollup
Ryback b. Luke Harper via DQ when Harper hit Ryback with the announcers' table
Dolph Ziggler b. Neville Zig Zag
NXT
Solomon Crowe b. CJ Parker Brock Lock
Baron Corbin b. Steve Cutler End of Days
Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady b. Sawyer Fulton/Angelo Dawkins Rocket Launcher to Dawkins
Dana Brooke b. Blue Pants Whiplash
Sami Zayn b. Rhyno Helluva Kick
Smackdown
Bray Wyatt b. R-Truth Sister Abigail
Bad News Barrett b. Miz Bull Hammer
Neville b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus threw him ono the announcers' table
New Day b. Los Matadores Midnight Hour to Fernando
Cameron b. Alicia Fox and Natalya Cameron pinned Natalya after an ax kick from Fox
Fandango b. Adam Rose Rollup
John Cena/Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro YES Lock to Kidd
Impact Wrestling
Hardys b. James Storm/Khoya Swanton Bomb to Khoya
Kenny King/Low Ki b. Mr. Anderson/Rockstar Spud King pinned Spud after a Warrior's Way from Ki
Ethan Carter III/Bram b. Tigre Uno/Jay Rios Brighter Side of Suffering to Rios
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. BroMans 450 to Godderz
Hardys b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode, Low Ki/Kenny King and Bram/Ethan Carter III Hardys pulled down the belts
Sanada is gone from TNA.
Smackdown
Date: April 16, 2015
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
It's time for the last TV show of the European tour. You can see most of the Extreme Rules card from here as a lot of the stipulations have been announced. The main event will see Randy Orton challenging Seth Rollins inside a cage with the RKO banned. A few things still need to be filled in on the card though as we've got less than two weeks to go. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here's John Cena to open things up. Why is he always surprised that a British crowd is booing a loud American talking about how great his country is and bragging about being the champion of his country? After a quick look at Rusev's attack on Monday, Cena goes over the rules of the Russian chain match, which is the four corners version. There's a chance that he won't even be in it though because he's issuing another open challenge RIGHT NOW.
He gets Cesaro/Kidd/Natalya, but they're not here to accept the challenge. Instead, they're here to drop FACTS. Cena has been out here pandering to the crowd (fact!) and saying London deserves a Wrestlemania (fact!) but that's a blatant lie. They think the please retire chants should have been directed at Cena, which the fans here don't seem to agree with. Cena tells either guy to bring it on but cue Daniel Bryan to even things up.
Bryan has heard Cesaro and Kidd calling themselves the greatest champions in WWE today but he'd like to ask the fans what they think. When he gets to himself he changes it to being the most handsome man in WWE. That gets a mixed reaction, so Bryan just asks for the tag match to get the fans back on his side. Kidd quickly accepts so we can have the Tag Team Champions lose twice in four days. As a consolation prize, they've got something with that FACT line.
Neville vs. Sheamus tonight. That would be the third World Champion he's fought out of the four opponents he's faced.
Bray Wyatt vs. R-Truth
Lawler calls this a rare in ring appearance for Wyatt. That's true as it's been a whole week since we last saw him wrestle on Smackdown. Truth hammers away and actually puts Bray down. We get the pelvic thrust but Bray spiders up and nails an uppercut. The chokeslam is countered so Wyatt just runs him over and hits Sister Abigail for the pin at 1:38. That's the fifth time Bray has squashed Truth on TV in just over a year.
We look back at the Divas battle royal on Monday and Naomi jumping Paige post match, sending her off to film a movie.
This week's WWE.com interview is with Roman Reigns, who says he's going to get back up every time Big Show puts him down. He's speaking in just above a whisper.
Here's Miz with something to say. Mizdow got lucky on Monday because he made Mizdow what he is, just like he made Summer Rae and the Marine 4 into a soon to be success. Cue Bad News Barrett who says we're in London tonight. The fans aren't here to see a pretend movie star, because they want to see the future six time Intercontinental Champion.
Miz vs. Bad News Barrett
Miz spends 27 seconds taking off his sunglasses and turns into the Bull Hammer for the pin at 34 seconds. I think the fans have forgotten Monday's loss to Cena.
We recap Orton and Rollins on Raw with both guys winning matches to earn a stipulation for the title match at Extreme Rules.
Damien Mizdow and Summer Rae are with Renee Young and celebrate the win on Monday when Miz comes in. He isn't cool with Mizdow using his gimmick, but Summer says Mizdow does Miz better than Miz. Mizdow takes off his sunglasses and starts imitating Miz again before challenging Miz to one more match on Monday for the whole Miz character. Summer talks Miz into taking the match, pretty much guaranteeing that she turns on Mizdow. She slaps him for good measure.
Sheamus vs. Neville
Neville is now billed as sensational. Before the match, Sheamus says Neville is a tiny little man, just like Daniel Bryan and Dolph Ziggler. He brags about being from the real Ireland and his people don't like the English. Neville puts the mouthpiece in and is shoved into the corner for some forearms to the back. Some front flips give Neville some room to hit a running hurricanrana to send Sheamus outside for a twisting flip dive.
Back in and Sheamus rolls away before Neville can try the Red Arrow. Instead Neville dives at Sheamus but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl slam on the floor. Back with Neville fighting out of a chinlock but Sheamus picks him up for a suplex and just throws him down in a big crash. The Irish Curse plants Neville and we hit another chinlock. This one doesn't last as long though and Neville avoids a charge, sending Sheamus' shoulder into the post. A running kick to the face and the standing moonsault get two for Neville and Sheamus is staggered.
Neville breaks up the ten forearms and ducks a Brogue Kick before hitting a missile dropkick. A kick to the head in the corner sets up the Red Arrow but it's a middle rope Phoenix Splash for two more instead. Now he goes up for the Red Arrow but gets crotched down, but Neville counters White Noise into a sunset flip for two. Back up and Sheamus clotheslines him out to the floor and drops him onto the announcers' table for the DQ at 10:53.
Sheamus throws him back inside and drives knees into his head until Dolph Ziggler comes out for the save. Sheamus bails but Ziggler grabs the mic and says no one from the Germans to the Bronies to the Irish like Sheamus. Ziggler is going to stand up to Sheamus but Sheamus tells him what he can kiss. He means it literally though, because they're having a Kiss Me Arse match at Extreme Rules. To recap: Neville vs. Sheamus and Ziggler were entertaining matches but the match between the two stars has a comedy stipulation. I think I prefer it that way actually.
Los Matadores vs. New Day
Big E.'s entrance: OH O2! It may not be the USA but I guess it'll do! Diego chops Big E. to start but gets stomped down in the corner. You can tell New Day is officially heel now as they're in the bottom right hand corner of the ring and that's where heels always stand. Off to Kofi who walks into a jawbreaker and springboards into a shot to the ribs. Fernando gets two off a rollup and everything breaks down. Trouble in Paradise drops Diego as Torito armdrags Woods. The Midnight Hour ends Fernando at 2:33.
We recap Fandango dumping Rosa.
In the back, Fandango reiterates that Rosa is dumped. He leaves and the Rosebuds run by in a scene that only makes sense in wrestling or on Monty Python. Rose says Rosa can be #1 again in a certain somebody's life. Think about it.
Here's Big Show with something to say. This past Monday proved that English people suck because they don't appreciate the fact that he's the best giant of all time. No one in the world, including Roman Reigns, can stop him. Show doesn't answer to anyone but the Authority because he doesn't see Reigns as anything but a victim of an automobile crash.
This Monday, it was the car getting hit by Reigns and we see a clip of Show throwing him at the car. Then he kneed Roman in the head, complete with clip. The chokeslam on top of the car gets the same treatment to really stretch this out. Show sits on top of the car and shows us a clip of Reigns walking off under his own power. That's not cool with Big Show, so it's a last man standing match at Extreme Rules. Man, if there's one thing that the least interesting feud in the world needed, it was a six minute segment from one of the most boring talkers in years. That's got my money for sure.
Cameron vs. Alicia Fox vs. Natalya
I sit through a Big Show promo and my reward is a Cameron match??? Cameron gets double teamed to start and knocked to the floor. Fox bails to the ropes to avoid the Sharpshooter but Cameron comes back in with a rollup for two on Natalya. It's Fox taking over by running over both girls with clotheslines, only to get taken down for Natalya's stepover into the basement dropkick for two. A superkick drops Cameron for two but she gets in a forearm to Fox's jaw.
Cameron makes the mistake of going up though and gets caught in the top of a Tower of Doom to put everyone down. Fox is thrown outside, leaving Cameron to trade rollups with Natalya for two each. Believe it or not, Cameron doesn't horribly botch anything! She's improving! Natalya puts Cameron in the Sharpshooter, then does the same to Fox, only to break it up to throw Cameron outside. Fox kicks her in the face and nails the ax kick but Cameron throws Fox to the floor and pins Natalya at 4:45.
Post match Alicia throws a fit so I guess we really are down to just Emma and Summer (I'm guessing until Monday) as face Divas. Really, who else is there?
Fandango vs. Adam Rose
Fandango scores with an early dropkick and clotheslines Rose to the floor for a slingshot dive. Rosa comes out to yell at Fandango, allowing Rose to baseball slide him down. Back in and Adam looks at Rosa, setting up the rollup to give Fandango the pin at 1:24.
Bray Wyatt asks what happens when you lose it all. Eventually you're going to be all alone with nothing but regret. You should be more careful because the reaper walks in the daylight.
John Cena/Daniel Bryan vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro
Cena and his black eye start against Kidd with John shoving him down. It's off to Cesaro for a test of strength but Kidd gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over. He comes back in legally for a front facelock, followed by a spinning kick to the face for two. Cesaro knocks Bryan off the apron to break up a hot tag attempt and gets two off a suplex.
Cena sends Cesaro into the corner and Kidd out to the floor but Tyson pulls Bryan off the apron. The STF on Cesaro is quickly broken up behind the referee's back and Kidd hits a low dropkick to Cena for two. Cena hits a quick backdrop (totally different than the AA of course) and the hot tag finally brings in Bryan.
A series of right hands sets up the moonsault out of the corner but he hits a running boot through the ropes instead of the Flying Goat to Cesaro. There are the YES Kicks in the corner followed by a top rope hurricanrana for two. Both Tag Team Champs get YES Kicks but Bryan has to yell at Natalya. Kidd accidentally knocks her off the apron and into Cesaro, allowing Bryan to YES Lock Kidd for the win at 7:49.
Bryan and Cena celebrate to end the show.
Results
Bray Wyatt b. R-Truth Sister Abigail
Bad News Barrett b. Miz Bull Hammer
Neville b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus threw him ono the announcers' table
New Day b. Los Matadores Midnight Hour to Fernando
Cameron b. Alicia Fox and Natalya Cameron pinned Natalya after an ax kick from Fox
Fandango b. Adam Rose Rollup
John Cena/Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro YES Lock to Kidd
Friday
Impact Wrestling
Date: April 17, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentator: Josh Matthews
Tonight is a one idea show as there will be a full Tag Team Title tournament with four first round matches and the winners advancing to an Ultimate X match for the championships. There may also be some more about Kurt Angle's World Title, with Eric Young as the next potential challenger due to Angle not pinning him last week. Let's get to it.
We open with a preview of the tournament.
Here are the first round matches:
James Storm/Khoya
Hardys
Low Ki/Kenny King
Mr. Anderson/Rockstar Spud
Ethan Carter III/Bram
Tigre Uno/Jay Rios
BroMans
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode
Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Khoya/James Storm vs. Hardys
The Hardys attack at the bell and it's a brawl to start. The Revolution gets the better of it with Khoya throwing Jeff around to take over and the fans cheering for Matt. James and Khoya take turns beating on Matt until Storm puts on a chinlock. Khoya gets two off a clothesline but Matt sweeps Storm's leg and makes the tag off to Jeff. Things speed way up with the legdrop between the legs and basement dropkick to Storm's face but Jeff has to deal with an interfering Khoya. That goes badly for the Revolution as Storm Last Calls Khoya by mistake, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 5:40.
Storm beats up Khoya, hopefully signaling the ending of the group.
The Hardys say it's time to fulfill their destiny. To be associated with better teams and be considered great by proxy instead of doing anything by yourselves?
Eric Young says he should be #1 contender. We get a CRAZY closeup of his CRAZY face to make sure that his CRAZY voice is clearly heard. He's CRAZY you see.
Here's Eric Young in a Kurt Angle shirt. He's not happy because Angle is ducking him for a World Title shot. Young doesn't care how many people he has to hurt because he wants his shot as #1 contender. This brings out Kurt, who says if Young wants to say something to him, say it to his face.
Young sees him as someone that can be hurt because the title belongs to him. Kurt says the title match is next week but he wants to know why Eric is doing all these things. Young talks about a hole in his spirit after he lost the title. That's fine with Angle, but he wants the old Eric Young next week. Kurt turns his back and dares Eric to hit him, but Young says he'll see him next week. This has been another chapter in Eric Young sucks and has no business in this spot theater.
The BDC threatens Spud in the back but Anderson comes in for the save.
Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Rockstar Spud/Mr. Anderson vs. Kenny King/Low Ki
Spud charges in a bit too fast and gets double teamed to start with Low Ki chopping him down. After both BDC members get in some right hands, King stomps Spud in the back to keep him from lunging for a tag. King ducks an enziguri and kicks Spud in the ribs to keep him in trouble but the fans are entirely behind Spud. Ki puts on an abdominal stretch to stay on the bad ribs for some psychology.
The BDC breaks up another hot tag attempt so Anderson comes in with a double clothesline and drags Spud to the corner before getting back on the apron. That makes the hot tag a lot easier and Anderson comes in to clean house. Anderson throws Spud into a hurricanrana to send Ki to the floor and the Underdog plants King, only to have Ki come off the top with the Warrior's Way to Spud, giving King the pin at 6:50.
Carter says he and Bram will win the titles tonight as a preview for his World Title run. Bram: I'm going to rip Tigre Uno's mask off and shove it down his throat! Carter: Good! Just make sure we win first.
MVP and Homicide congratulate Ki and King on the win. Homicide is given the special assignment (RUN! That's what they told Taz!) of beating up Kurt Angle.
Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Jay Rios/Tigre Uno vs. Bram/Ethan Carter III
Rios is a masked man who appeared as a jobber in TNA back in the Jeff Jarrett MMA days. He's certainly no Essa. Carter and Rios trade wristlocks to start before Tigre comes in for a double dropkick. Carter bails to the floor and Tigre makes the mistake of diving at Tyrus like a schmuck, earning him a World's Strongest Slam on the floor.
Bram gets in some stomps before Carter throws on a chinlock. A leg dive keeps Tigre from making the hot tag but Bram misses an elbow, allowing for the lukewarm tag to Rios. Jay flips out of a backdrop and hits a springboard into a cutter but Carter uses the arm brace to knock Rios silly, setting up the Brighter Side of Suffering, but Carter tags himself in for the pin at 3:50.
Kurt Angle says Young has gone from genius to crazy but he wants the old Young back. As for Homicide, he better have good insurance.
Christy Hemme brings out the Knockouts (or at least five of them) to announcer that next week is a night of all Knockouts. Love thinks the night should be all about her because she has the most Knockout Titles of all time. The fans chant for Brooke as Gail goes on her usual rant about how awesome the Knockouts are. Madison cuts her off before the entire building falls asleep and says none of them are the Queen Bee.
Christy tries to calm them down with the offer of a fourway between Brooke, Gail, Madison and Angelina for the #1 contendership. Brooke is WAY too excited about this announcement. There will also be new Knockouts and Taryn defending against Kong. Taryn talks about her passion and how she'll prove herself next week. Kong comes out and cleans house but Taryn dives onto everyone.
The BroMans seem to have issues with each other but Aries and Roode come in to say they'll focus on Robbie, who is clearly the better BroMan. Methinks shenanigans are afoot. Robbie leaves and Roode thinks he bought it. Bobby Roode and Austin Aries had to cause friction to beat the BroMans? Really?
Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: BroMans vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode
For the fourth match of the night, the good guys attack to start with Robbie getting beaten down by both former World Champions early on. Aries sidesteps an invading Jesse to send him into his partner, setting up the Hennig neck snap for two on Robbie. The BroMans finally get in some offense but get in an argument over who gets to work on Roode. Robbie hooks a chinlock before a clothesline gets two.
Jesse demands a tag and Robbie isn't too keen on doing as he asks. Roode comes back with a neckbreaker to drop both guys and the hot tag brings in Austin. He's quickly stopped by Godderz, but Jesse gets a bit too bossy, allowing Roode to break up the BroDown. Aries knocks Jesse outside for a suicide dive, setting up the spinebuster into the 450 from Aries for the pin on Jesse at 5:20.
The BroMans fight post match with DJZ coming out to try and break it up.
Homicide is beating up Angle in the back. The fight heads into the arena after a break with Angle getting back into it but eating a cutter in the ring. Angle ducks a boot shot and grabs the ankle lock, drawing in the BDC for the group attack. They bring in a chair but the Rising comes out to get rid of everyone but MVP. Eric Young comes out to stop MVP from bashing Angle with the chair but picks it up himself, only to drop it and leave (in a CRAAAAZY manner of course. Because he's crazy you see).
Video on Ultimate X.
Dollhouse is coming.
Preview for next week's Knockouts show.
Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Kenny King/Low Ki vs. Ethan Carter III/Bram vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode
Ultimate X. Huge brawl to start with the Hardys and Roode/Aries throwing the other four outside. Roode and Aries start taking over with Matthews continuing to call them by their old name of the Dirty Heels. The Hardys are tossed outside as well and we take a break. Back with the BDC and Bram/Carter clearing the ring for a change with Bram and Carter throwing the BDC to the floor. They decide to bring in a ladder but that's the Hardys game, allowing them to come back in and take over.
The BDC and the Hardys go for the ropes but Tyrus shakes the structure to break it up. Tyrus puts Carter on his shoulders but Aries dropkicks them down before Roode hits the Blockbuster on Bram. Roode gets on Aries' shoulders but Homicide comes in for the save. Now it's King and Matt on the ladder and Hardy hooking a Twist of Fate to put everyone down. Matt climbs up again but Ki springboards onto the ladder for the save. As they fight, Jeff climbs up above the X, kicks Ki away and pulls down the belts, while standing on a ladder of course, to win at 12:06.
Results
Hardys b. James Storm/Khoya Swanton Bomb to Khoya
Kenny King/Low Ki b. Mr. Anderson/Rockstar Spud King pinned Spud after a Warrior's Way from Ki
Ethan Carter III/Bram b. Tigre Uno/Jay Rios Brighter Side of Suffering to Rios
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. BroMans 450 to Godderz
Hardys b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode, Low Ki/Kenny King and Bram/Ethan Carter III Hardys pulled down the belts
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
John Cena b. Bad News Barrett Attitude Adjustment
Paige won a battle royal last eliminating Naomi
Lucha Dragons b. Ascension Swanton Bomb to Viktor
Randy Orton b. Cesaro via DQ when Tyson Kidd interfered
Randy Orton b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd RKO to Kidd
Dean Ambrose b. Adam Rose Dirty Deeds
Stardust b. Fandango Disaster Kick
Seth Rollins b. Kane Kane laid down
Damien Mizdow b. Miz Rollup
Ryback b. Luke Harper via DQ when Harper hit Ryback with the announcers' table
Dolph Ziggler b. Neville Zig Zag
NXT
Solomon Crowe b. CJ Parker Brock Lock
Baron Corbin b. Steve Cutler End of Days
Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady b. Sawyer Fulton/Angelo Dawkins Rocket Launcher to Dawkins
Dana Brooke b. Blue Pants Whiplash
Sami Zayn b. Rhyno Helluva Kick
Smackdown
Bray Wyatt b. R-Truth Sister Abigail
Bad News Barrett b. Miz Bull Hammer
Neville b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus threw him ono the announcers' table
New Day b. Los Matadores Midnight Hour to Fernando
Cameron b. Alicia Fox and Natalya Cameron pinned Natalya after an ax kick from Fox
Fandango b. Adam Rose Rollup
John Cena/Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro YES Lock to Kidd
Impact Wrestling
Hardys b. James Storm/Khoya Swanton Bomb to Khoya
Kenny King/Low Ki b. Mr. Anderson/Rockstar Spud King pinned Spud after a Warrior's Way from Ki
Ethan Carter III/Bram b. Tigre Uno/Jay Rios Brighter Side of Suffering to Rios
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. BroMans 450 to Godderz
Hardys b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode, Low Ki/Kenny King and Bram/Ethan Carter III Hardys pulled down the belts