klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: January 15, 2018
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.
It's the go home show for the Raw 25th Anniversary Show which is the go home show for the Royal Rumble. That makes tonight almost the go home show for the pay per view, as next week's show is going to have a completely different vibe. Tonight we have Asuka vs. Nia Jax so let's get to it.
We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar fighting Braun Strowman last week until Strowman pulled a huge piece of the set down onto Lesnar and Kane. That's quite the visual, but both Brock and Kane being conscious after a commercial hurt things a lot.
Here's Strowman to get things going. He has a short story for us but it has a happy ending. Before he can get to his story though, Kurt Angle, flanked by security, cuts him off. Angle lists off all the obvious problems with what Braun did but Strowman says it could have been worse. Kurt gets in the always dumb sounding “unsafe worried environment” line with Strowman saying he did his job.
Strowman is ready to do whatever he wants and if that means ripping the walls off of Suplex City, so be it. Angle says Strowman is lucky Kane and Lesnar can still compete at the Rumble. As for Strowman though, he's out of the match because HE'S FIRED. I'm not even going to bother getting all annoyed here because there's no way they'll do Kane vs. Lesnar as a one on one. Hardcore Holly was a more interesting (and believable) challenger back in 2004.
In the back, Braun leaves while threatening security.
Raw moment: Hugh Jackman is guest host.
Post break, a security guard orders Strowman to leave and the destruction is on. Braun promises to do even more.
The Bar vs. Titus Worldwide
Rematch from last week where Titus scored a fluke pin. Dana Brooke is in a very different top this week to prevent another instance of last week's, uh, incident. Cesaro powers Crews into the corner to start but it's quickly off to Titus for an exchange of chops in the corner. Cesaro uppercuts Crews down though and Sheamus adds a top rope clothesline as we take a break.
Back with Sheamus getting two off a middle rope ax handle and grabbing a chinlock on Crews. Apollo fights up and brings in Titus for the forearms to the chest and an impressive toss to Cesaro. Everything breaks down and Crews moonsaults to the floor just like last week but Cesaro is ready for him this time. An uppercut to Titus knocks him into a rollup for two, only to have the Neutralizer broken up. Apollo's high crossbody and standing moonsault get two each but Sheamus picks him up for White Noise. Cue Jason Jordan for a distraction though, allowing Crews to roll Sheamus up for the pin at 10:48.
Seth Rollins comes out to ask Jordan what he's doing.
Strowman kicks in the door to Angle's office and breaks a lot of stuff.
Post break, Strowman wrecks catering and chokeslams Curt Hawkins through a table. He does however take a piece of chocolate cake from a nearly catatonic worker. I can appreciate a man with a taste for some cake and Strowman as the unstoppable monster is fun.
Tony Nese vs. Cedric Alexander
Before the match, Enzo Amore says he's like Frankenstein and Cedric is like Dracula because he sucks. Goldust is in Cedric's corner and says Cedric is a box office smash. After the title match at the Rumble, the one word to describe Cedric will be champion. Cedric says that between Amore's face and his ankle, the only word to describe him is sawft. We're joined in progress after a break, but not before seeing Strowman shoving a dumpster through the back.
That's one thing that drives me crazy about WWE. Strowman is supposed to be destroying everything on a rampage, but he does it right after we get back from a commercial and before we get to this match. Go split screen to show him doing this at the same time or something, but find a way to make it feel more spontaneous.
Anyway, to the match. Cedric catches him with an ankle scissors but Nese knees him in the ribs as Booker talks about how Angle shouldn't have fired Strowman live in the ring. We hit the neck crank on Cedric with Enzo talking so much trash that Goldust goes after him, even mocking the dance. Cedric fights up and hits the springboard clothesline for two, only to get slowed down by a headlock. Back up and Cedric elbow shim in the face, followed by the Lumbar Check (with a great sell job from Tony) for the pin at 5:52.
Angle is thinking about calling in a SWAT team but is told Strowman is heading towards the production trucks.
Post break Strowman goes into the truck and shoves a bunch of papers around before leaving without causing too much damage. The whole thing starts shaking though as Strowman has unhooked the semi from the truck and is trying to turn it over. Angle comes up to say he's called the cops. His phone rings as Strowman leaves, only to come back and flip the truck over with the camera going spastic with cuts to hide how fake it looked, making it look worse in the process.
Strowman heads into the arena and goes after commentary, picking Cole up by one hand and carrying him over the stage. Angle and security shows up with Kurt saying he's called the cops off. Stephanie has rehired Strowman and he's back in the title match (because of course Stephanie can solve any problem in ten seconds while it's caused Angle problems for an hour) if he lets Cole go. Braun does let him go, with a flying toss off the stage and onto the security guards. The Stephanie thing made me roll my eyes but Cole being picked up by the belt and carried away like a child was funny stuff.
Tom Phillips replaces Cole on commentary.
Nia Jax vs. Asuka
Asuka gets tossed around to start but comes right back with a Black Widow (ala AJ Lee) into something like an abdominal stretch. Nia calmly shoves Asuka's leg off though and catches her with a backbreaker. A triangle choke cuts Nia off again until she lifts Asuka up for a powerbomb into the corner as we take a break. Back with Asuka fighting out of a bearhug and avoiding a sitdown splash.
Asuka's running kick to the chest drops Jax but she's right back up with a hard powerbomb. Asuka grabs a kneebar to send Nia bailing to the ropes and they head outside. Asuka avoids a charge and sends Nia into the steps, only to have Nia get her knee caught between the ring and the steps. Nia beats the count back in but the referee stops it due to the knee injury at 10:45.
Alexa Bliss comes out to check on Nia.
Jason Jordan comes in to see Angle, who is still upset over Braun. Jordan has been watching his dad's back all night and wouldn't have let Strowman do anything. He thanks Angle for the opportunities again but thinks Seth needs a warmup for next week. Say against Finn Balor tonight, which Angle makes for later.
The announcers talk about Martin Luther King Day.
Video on Martin Luther King.
Bliss blames herself for Nia's injury when Enzo comes in to check on Nia as well. Nia tells Bliss that Enzo has this so Alexa leaves while not looking happy.
Revival vs. ???/???
Yes it's an old school squash against nameless jobbers. Dawson suplexes jobber #1 and gives hi a hard clothesline for good measure. Dash comes in with a jumping knee to the face before sending it off to jobber #2. In a cool spot, Revival loads up #2 for something like a Snapshot (elevated DDT) but Dash flips him up like a backdrop, only to have Dawson send him forward in a gordbuster. The Shatter Machine ends #1 at 1:39. There's something so great about jobbers not even having names because they're not important enough.
Post match Revival brags about their tag team skills because too many people are worried about Instagram likes or video games. As for next week, Revival isn't thrilled with meeting any of the veterans at Raw 25 because there's nothing old school about beer bashes and crotch chops. They're professional wrestlers instead of sports entertainers so WWE doesn't want them to succeed. Next week at Raw 25, the superstars from around the world are coming to their universe and the Revival is setting the tone for the next 25 years. Good promo here but as always: FOLLOW UP ON IT.
Here's Elias for a new song. He's looking forward to the Royal Rumble but wants to eliminate Cena, along with 29 others. So he's going to pull a Mil Mascaras and eliminate himself? Elias insults the San Antonio Spurs and introduces Miz and the Miztourage for a chat before their match.
Miz talks about the fans cheering him last week because they recognize greatness. The fans knew something was missing from Raw and it wasn't Cena or Lesnar but rather Miz. Last week Miz and the Miztourage beat up Roman Reigns and it felt awesome. That spark is why he and Maryse are getting their own series on USA and next week he's getting the Intercontinental Title back. It's going to feel awesome. Maybe it's just because he hasn't been around lately but Miz has felt like a bigger deal in the last two weeks.
Roman Reigns vs. Miztourage
Non-title. Miz offers an early distraction to no avail as Reigns punches both lackeys down. Axel's cheap shot allows the Miztourage to send Reigns into the steps and the beating is on. We hit the chinlock for a good while until Axel has to save his partner from a suplex. Instead Dallas gets two off a DDT, followed by some double teaming to keep Reigns slowed down.
Reigns fights up and hits a Samoan drop, followed by knocking Dallas off the apron. We get the always stupid spot of someone accidentally DDTing his partner with Axel getting spiked. The Superman Punch drops both guys and Miz's distraction fails, allowing Reigns to spear Axel for the pin at 8:16.
Sasha Banks vs. Sonya Deville
The rest of Absolution, Bayley and Mickie James are at ringside. As we get started, Paige is officially ruled out of the Royal Rumble. Nothing is mentioned beyond that though. A very early Bank Statement attempt send Deville bailing to the ropes but Mandy offers a distraction so Sonya can get in a few shots.
We hit a chinlock with a body vice as Booker compares Sonya to Ken Shamrock in a rare name drop. Banks fights up and goes to the middle rope, only to dive into a kick to the chest for the completely clean pin at 2:26. That's exactly the way this needed to go. Oh and welcome to the doghouse Sasha. Bayley can keep you company (for whatever reason).
Some wrestlers were at the National Civil Rights Museum last week.
Rollins tells Jordan to calm down and stop trying to be his spokesperson. This story hasn't been bad but my levels of not caring whenever either of them show up is growing in a hurry.
Matt Hardy vs. Heath Slater
Joined in progress with Matt hitting a splash to Slater's back and hammering away. Matt sends him into the ropes and laughs a lot so Slater heads outside for a meeting with Rhyno. Back in and Matt bites the hand before launching Slater into the corner. Matt thinks Slater must be deleted so it's the ten rams into the buckle and a Twist of Fate for the pin at 3:37.
Goldberg is official for the Hall of Fame so it's time for a long video package.
We look back at Strowman's path of destruction earlier tonight.
Royal Rumble rundown.
Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins
Jordan, Gallows and Anderson are at ringside. Balor armbars him to start but gets armdragged away, followed by a kick to the back. Seth gets sent outside though and a kick to the chest puts him down as we take a break. Back (after a Raw moment of the 1-2-3 Kid pinning Razor Ramon in a huge upset) with Rollins hitting the Blockbuster but hurting his knee. It's fine enough to try the suicide dive though and Balor is down again.
They get back inside with Rolling hitting a forearm to the back but having Balor slip out of the Falcon Arrow. The Sling Blade takes Rollins down, only to have Seth come back with his own. Balor gets in another Sling Blade but charges into a superkick for two. I really wouldn't emphasize how they both use the same move like that but have it their way. The Wind-Up knee is countered with a forearm so Rollins enziguris him down. Seth has to roll through the Phoenix splash and gets caught with the shotgun dropkick in the corner.
The Coup de Grace is broken up with the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two more and both guys are down. Seth's frog splash hits the knees though and Balor rolls him up for....two apparently but here's the Bar to interrupt. The brawl is on at ringside with Anderson and Gallows fighting the Bar until Balor hits a flip dive to take all four out. Another kick to the head sets up the Coup de Grace but Rollins rolls away. Cesaro's distraction allows Jordan to trip Balor and Rollins hits the curb stomp (WHERE IN THE WORLD HAS THAT BEEN???) for the pin at 15:18.
Balor is rather shaken up and the camera stays on him for a long time to end the show.
Results
Titus Worldwide b. The Bar – Rollup to Sheamus
Cedric Alexander b. Tony Nese – Lumbar Check
Asuka b. Nia Jax via referee stoppage
Revival b. ???/??? – Shatter Machine
Roman Reigns b. Miztourage – Spear to Axel
Sonya Deville b. Sasha Banks – Kick to the chest
Matt Hardy b. Heath Slater – Twist of Fate
Seth Rollins b. Finn Balor – Blackout
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: January 16, 2018
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
Please be better. The last few weeks haven't been kind to Smackdown and I really could use a good episode to change things up a bit. The problem continues to be Daniel Bryan vs. Shane McMahon, which has dominated the show so strongly that it's taking away from a lot of the other stories. Hopefully that starts to change tonight. Let's get to it.
Here's the New Day for an opening chat. Woods brings out the pancakes and stands behind a podium as all three do the tongue roll to announce Jinder Mahal's Maharajah nickname. See, America is like a bunch of pancakes: made of flour, eggs and freedom. America is built up like Home Alone 1, 2 and 3. Big E: “Not so much with 3.” Woods talks about Jinder hating Home Alone and hating every one of you. The fans are against Jinder but the Singh Brothers come out to introduce Mahal.
US Title Tournament Semifinals: Jinder Mahal vs. Xavier Woods
The finals will now be next week instead of at the Royal Rumble. Mahal kicks him in the face to start and elbows a charging Woods in the jaw. A jumping knee gets two and we take a break. Back with Jinder holding him in a chinlock and Big E. throwing pancakes at the Singh Brothers. The fans want pancakes as Jinder forearms Woods down to the floor. Back in and a knee to the head gets two as we take a second break.
We come back again with Woods hitting a missile dropkick and winning a slugout (with those AMERICAN right hands). A discus punch drops Mahal and a Shining Wizard gets two. New Day goes after the Singh Brothers and chases the up the aisle, leaving us one on one. The top rope elbow misses though and Woods is whipped throat first into the bottom rope (kind of a dangerous move). The Khallas sends Mahal to the finals at 18:02.
At a house show, Baron Corbin talked about knowing he'll win the Royal Rumble because it's just a fight and that's what he does best. Corbin was announced as being in the match two weeks ago.
Quick look at the media talking about Goldberg's Hall of Fame induction.
AJ Styles dubs Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens as Kami and says he sees himself as being down 3-1 because Owens is like two people.
Carmella knows how to make history so she'll win the Rumble.
Natalya has the catlike reflexes to win. She says Bret's catchphrase for the second time tonight (after a Mixed Match Challenge promo).
Tamina says she'll win.
Lana promises to make it the Ravishing Rumble.
Naomi is going to make everyone feel the Glow.
Riott knows how to create chaos and no one can stop her.
Sarah Logan isn't running from anything.
Liv Morgan is here to make history so she'll do it at the Rumble.
Becky Lynch promises to win. These were like the old school Rumble promos (save for the camera being hand held and a bit shaky, making them look kind of bad) and that's a very good thing, even if most of the women didn't have much to say.
US Title Tournament Semifinals: Bobby Roode vs. Mojo Rawley
I'm still getting used to Mojo's new music and Jackson Pollack inspired entrance video. Roode shoves him around to start and hits the GLORIOUS pose. Back up and Mojo runs through Roode and complains at the referee for getting in his way. They head outside with Mojo hitting a long running charge to drive Roode into the barricade. We take a break and come back with Mojo putting on a pretty bad looking abdominal stretch, though he does hit Roode in the ribs a few times.
Mojo asks Roode if he's cracked a rib before hammering at said ribs. That's rather cruel of him. Back up and Mojo misses a charge into the post, allowing Roode to hit the Blockbuster for two. The Glorious DDT is countered into a fireman's carry faceplant (basically an F5 without the spin) for two. The running punch in the corner is blocked with some raised boots and Roode grabs the spinebuster. Roode hits the Glorious DDT to go to the finals at 13:13.
Post match the Singh Brothers come in to beat on Roode but are dispatched fairly quickly. Mahal comes out to say he'll be champion next week. Roode wants to fight now and we get the standard heel response. You know, because why would Mahal want to face a banged up Roode who just finished a long match? Daniel Bryan pops up from behind and says the finals are on TONIGHT.
Randy Orton, in a ring in an empty arena, likes to be surrounded by chaos, so the Rumble is his match.
Charlotte/Becky Lynch/Naomi vs. Riott Squad
Charlotte suplexes Morgan for two to start and does her Figure Four neck lock flips to Riott. The Squad gets sent outside and we take a break. Back with Lynch being sent into Morgan's knees for two and Liv grabbing the hair to cut off a hot tag attempt. Becky finally dives over and brings in Naomi to speed things up. The spear cuts Logan down but Riott kicks Naomi into the one kneed Codebreaker for the pin at 8:10.
The Usos think Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin got together on Tag Team Tinder. They can't remember which Uso is which though and get beaten down by Gable and Benjamin. Chad knows who they are: the former champions.
Long video on AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens.
Shinsuke Nakamura says he'll win. Is there a reason none of the big wrestlers are actually here tonight?
Next week: Rusev Day vs. Ascension.
US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal
The title is vacant coming in, Roode's ribs are banged up, there are no Singh Brothers and Shane McMahon/Daniel Bryan are at ringside. Feeling out process to start with Mahal's cheap shot to the ribs being cut off. They head outside with Mahal driving the bad ribs into the barricade and getting in a few more shots as we take a break.
Back with Mahal bending the ribs around the post and then slapping on an abdominal stretch (take notes Mojo). Some knees to the ribs keep Roode down and Mahal puts a knee in the back. You can't fault the psychology here but you can fault the fans being dead bored after this lame show.
Roode gets two off a sunset flip but a superkick gives Mahal the same to keep him in control. Bobby finally sends him outside for a clothesline from the apron as the crowd is just gone here. Back in and Mahal rolls through a high crossbody for two of his own, followed by a Blockbuster for the same. Roode's spinebuster plants Mahal again and the Khallas is reversed into the Glorious DDT to make Roode the champion at 15:44.
The bosses present Roode with the title to end the show.
Results
Jinder Mahal b. Xavier Woods – Khallas
Bobby Roode b. Mojo Rawley – Glorious DDT
Riott Squad b. Charlotte/Becky Lynch/Naomi – Codebreaker to Naomi
Bobby Roode b. Jinder Mahal – Glorious DDT
Wednesday
NXT
Date: January 17, 2018
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson
We're still in Atlanta as we're heading towards Philadelphia for the next Takeover. Last week saw the Undisputed Era beat down Aleister Black to end the show, earning Adam Cole an Extreme Rules match with Black in Philadelphia. Odds are we'll get the final card for the next Takeover tonight so let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
We see the shots of the crowd and there's a rather prominent fan with a Britney Spears shirt. I'd wear that.
Heavy Machinery vs. Tino Sabbatelli/Riddick Moss
As usual, it's a feud over Sabbatelli and Moss' car. Otis runs Sabbatelli over with a hard shoulder to start and Tino isn't sure what to do about that kind of power. Tucker comes in and grabs a front facelock to swing Tino around in a circle, only to have him land in front of Moss. Heavy Machinery crushes Moss between the two of them followed by something like a Worm into an elbow. It's back to Tino to hammer on Otis until a clothesline allows the hot tag to Knight. Everything breaks down and Moss grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin at 4:41.
Cole isn't worried about Black because there are a million and one ways to hurt him. Bobby Fish and Kyle O'Reilly know everyone wants their titles but they're all in the Era's era. I'm still not sold on that name as Undisputed would just sound better.
We look back at the ending of last week's show with the announcement of the Extreme Rules match. Shouldn't that have aired before the promo?
Roderick Strong vs. Fabian Aichner
Strong tries a headlock to start as the fans seem split. A leg lariat gives Strong two but Aichner powerslams him out of the air as we take a break. Back with Aichner holding an abdominal stretch until Strong fights out. The Angle Slam is broken up so Strong settles for his first backbreaker. Aichner is right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker of his own and goes up, only to dive into another backbreaker. The Strong Hold (now a Liontamer) is good for the tap out at 7:37.
Post match Strong says he wants Lars Sullivan, who had already said he wanted to face Killian Dain. So we might be looking at a three way?
Long video on TM-61, who will be back from injury rather soon. They've been out for a very long time. They've been training for years, including training under Harley Race. All the work has been worth it though and they're ready to make it here. They worked their way through a WWE tryout but also were young boys in Japan. Next week we'll get part two, which hopefully is as awesome as this one.
Aliyah vs. Lacey Evans
Aliyah gets taken down with a wristlock to start but walks into a jawbreaker. Evans is sent to the apron and kicks Aliyah's leg out for a slingshot elbow. A slingshot bronco buster gets two more on Aliyah but she grabs a northern lights suplex. Back up and Aliyah charges into a right hand in the corner....for the pin at 3:24.
Post match Evans says she wants to bring some class to the women's division and she'll start with Nikki Cross. Shayna Baszler comes out and glares at Evans before grabbing her choke on Aliyah, who is still woozy from the right hand. Ember Moon runs in for the save and tells Baszler to try that on her. Baszler says she'll do it when the title is on the line. Moon says name the time.
William Regal makes the title match for Takeover. Zelina Vega comes in to say Velveteen Dream deserves the shot more than Johnny Gargano so they should have a #1 contenders match.
No Way Jose is back next week. I liked the guy, but I hadn't remembered he was gone.
Johnny Gargano comes to the ring and says bring Dream on. This isn't a fluke and this is his time and opportunity. The match is on for next week.
We look back at the Undisputed Era attacking Sanity to avoid the title defense last week.
Authors of Pain vs. Street Profits
The winners get the title shot in Philadelphia. Akum shoulders Ford down to start and easily pulls him over to the corner so Razar can get in his own shots to the back. The fans are behind the Profits of course as Ford has to fight out of a full nelson. One heck of a full nelson slam gives Razar two and it's off to a chinlock as we take a break.
Back with Ford fighting out of a front facelock and bringing Dawkins in to clean house. A spinebuster/missile dropkick combination gets two on Akum and that's probably their best shot. The Super Collider into the Last Chapter ends Ford at 9:43 to send the Authors to Philadelphia.
Results
Tino Sabbatelli/Riddick Moss b. Heavy Machinery – Rollup to Moss
Roderick Strong b. Fabian Aichner – Strong Hold
Lacey Evans b. Aliyah – Right hand
Authors of Pain b. Street Profits – Last Chapter to Ford
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: January 18, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews
This is another interesting show as the main event is a big barbed wire match between LAX and OVE. Well in theory at least, as for some reason that is airing on Impact's new Twitch channel just after the regular show ends. Not that they advertised that last week or anything. There's also a “World Title match” in the form of more clips from another promotion's show. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
X-Division Title: Dezmond Xavier vs. Taiji Ishimori
Xavier is challenging. An early lockup sees the champ driven into the corner and it's an actual clean break. Ishimori's break isn't as clean and things get a bit testy, all the way to an armdrag. A twisting rollup gives Ishimori two and they trade dropkicks as things speed up in a hurry.
Back in and Dezmond strikes away in the corner before grabbing a chinlock. Something close to a Last Chancery keeps Ishimori in trouble but as usual, it doesn't last long. Back up and another dropkick sends the champ outside and a suicide dive puts him over the barricade. Dezmond hits a huge flip dive from the ring over the barricade to drop the champ (that's some impressive athleticism) and we take a break. Back with Dezmond hitting a jumping cutter, followed by a dropkick to the back of the head for two.
Ishimori is fine enough to hit a delayed superplex for two of his own and they're both down again. A Vader Bomb hits Dezmond's raised boot though and the Final Flash gets two. Back up and Dezmond slips out of a Tombstone attempt before hitting a standing moonsault for two more. That just earns him a gutbuster, followed by Ishimori's 450 to retain the title at 16:33.
OVE promises to take over everything tonight.
Long recap of OVE vs. LAX, including their battles over the titles and OVE bringing in Sami Callihan as backup. This eats up nine minutes. My goodness stop acting like this is Edge and Christian vs. the Hardys vs. the Dudleys. A barbed wire match isn't all that impressive.
Video on American Top Team taking out James Storm and Moose trying for revenge. This show is starting to feel like a pay per view pre-show instead of a regular episode.
Flashback of the week: Aron Rex wins the first Grand Championship.
Video on Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Sydal for the Grand Championship.
Video (COME ON ALREADY!) on Gail Kim vacating the title and Laurel Van Ness winning it, much to Allie's annoyance.
Allie is ready for her title shot next week because she's tired of being treated so badly by Van Ness. This was an old school style promo and it worked quite well.
Kongo Kong vs. Chandler Park
I did not wait for nearly an hour for a freaking Kongo Kong match. Chandler's strikes to the chest have no effect but Kong's missed charge gives him a breather. That's about as long as it lasts too as Kongo whips him into the corner for a Cannonball. An over the shoulder sitout Tombstone is good for the pin on Park at 1:57.
Kong gives Chandler a top rope splash and Joseph throws up the injury X. This is what the world was waiting for: more Kongo Kong.
Johnny Impact wants to take the World Title back to Los Angeles. Drake is from LA too, so does he want Eli to retain?
Alberto El Patron is in Detroit for the sole purpose of taking the Impact Wrestling World Title.
Eli Drake is ready to defend the title anywhere, including Detroit.
Impact Wrestling World Title: Eli Drake vs. Alberto El Patron vs. Johnny Impact
Drake is defending and this is at another poorly lit Border City Wrestling show. It's a brawl to start with the ropes looking very loose. Impact is sent shoulder first into the post and Drake powerslams Alberto for two. They head outside (likely to be away from the unsafe looking ropes) with Drake chairing Impact down.
We're clipped (erg) to Alberto hitting double knees in the corner on the champ for two but Impact comes out from underneath a pile of chairs to blast both guys. The breakdancing legdrop gets two on Alberto but Eli comes back in with something resembling a ProtoBomb for two of his own with Alberto pulling the referee out. Patron can't hit the Gravy Train on Drake but a Backstabber gets two with Johnny pulling the referee out.
Now it's Johnny hitting his flip neckbreaker on Alberto but, say it with me, Drake pulls the referee out. The referee yells at all of them so it's a triple superkick to take him down. Another referee comes in to count two on Johnny after a low blow and it's Drake taking over. Drake isn't happy with a two count so the second referee takes a Gravy Train. The locker room empties out and the match is a no contest at around 7:20.
Rosemary vs. KC Spinelli
Josh hypes up all the available DVDs of wrestlers who aren't on the roster anymore. Way to hype up your current talent. Rosemary gets her choke over the ropes as JB mentions that next week it's Drake vs. El Patron vs. Impact for the title in a cage as the main event of Genesis. Yes that feud continues, but yes next week is also a special episode, which I don't recall hearing until just now. Spinelli kind of dances into a hip attack in the corner, followed by a bulldog for two. A discus lariat gives KC two but Rosemary fakes her out with the mist, setting up the Red Wedding for the pin at 3:38.
Post match Rosemary says she wants to face Laurel but has to wait for our favorite bunny Allie to get her chance. Rosemary wants the next shot but gets jumped by Hania, who has wrestled for Ring of Honor before.
In case you didn't get the idea earlier, here's a seven minute video on the barbed wire match.
Genesis preview.
The entrances for the barbed wire match wrap us up and it's off to the Twitch channel. And that's the show. I'll edit in the match after it airs on Twitch. It'll be after the Overall Rating because, simply put, it's not part of the show.
Results
Taiji Ishimori b. Dezmond Xavier – 450 splash
Kongo Kong b. Chandler Park – Sitout Tombstone
Johnny Impact vs. Alberto El Patron vs. Eli Drake went to a no contest
Rosemary b. KC Spinelli – Red Wedding
LAX vs. OVE
Six man tag with the ropes replaced by barbed wire. They slug it out to start and head outside with OVE staring up at LAX. Shouting ensues until Santana hits a running flip dive to take everyone out. Callihan and Ortiz head inside and they have....forks. The Abdullah the Butcher tribute begins before they both get in a stab to the forehead. Ortiz is tossed into the barbed wire and Callihan is sent in a few seconds later.
A spear sends Dave Crist into a barbed wire board in the corner but Ortiz takes a slow motion charge into it as well. Jake Crist tries an O'Connor Roll for the sake of being kicked into the wire. Homicide wraps the wire into Jake's mouth and it's time to head outside for more violence. Chairs and barbed wire boards are swung, followed by a double suplex onto another barbed wire board.
Back in and Homicide pours alcohol onto Dave's open wounds, only to have Sami DDT him onto a trashcan lid for two. Jake gets suplexed through a barbed wire board on the floor, followed by Homicide hitting a cutter “onto” the barbed wire board. The Gringo Killer is broken up and Homicide is suplexed onto the ropes, breaking them down. We take a break (because this was originally set up for TV) with Jake being sent through more wire and onto a table.
The wire is still wrapped around Jake but Santana cuts him free so he can be Death Valley Driven through a barbed wire board for two. Dave spears Santana through a table to the floor, leaving Homicide to be tombstoned onto a chair wrapped in barbed wire for two. Sami loads up two tables in the ring but stops to piledrive Dave instead. A ladder is brought in but Konnan hits Callihan with a barbed wire bat. Ortiz stabs Dave with some wooden spikes and superplexes him through the two tables for the pin at 16:57.
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Titus Worldwide b. The Bar – Rollup to Sheamus
Cedric Alexander b. Tony Nese – Lumbar Check
Asuka b. Nia Jax via referee stoppage
Revival b. ???/??? – Shatter Machine
Roman Reigns b. Miztourage – Spear to Axel
Sonya Deville b. Sasha Banks – Kick to the chest
Matt Hardy b. Heath Slater – Twist of Fate
Seth Rollins b. Finn Balor – Blackout
Smackdown
Jinder Mahal b. Xavier Woods – Khallas
Bobby Roode b. Mojo Rawley – Glorious DDT
Riott Squad b. Charlotte/Becky Lynch/Naomi – Codebreaker to Naomi
Bobby Roode b. Jinder Mahal – Glorious DDT
NXT
Tino Sabbatelli/Riddick Moss b. Heavy Machinery – Rollup to Moss
Roderick Strong b. Fabian Aichner – Strong Hold
Lacey Evans b. Aliyah – Right hand
Authors of Pain b. Street Profits – Last Chapter to Ford
Impact Wrestling
Taiji Ishimori b. Dezmond Xavier – 450 splash
Kongo Kong b. Chandler Park – Sitout Tombstone
Johnny Impact vs. Alberto El Patron vs. Eli Drake went to a no contest
Rosemary b. KC Spinelli – Red Wedding
Monday Night Raw
Date: January 15, 2018
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.
It's the go home show for the Raw 25th Anniversary Show which is the go home show for the Royal Rumble. That makes tonight almost the go home show for the pay per view, as next week's show is going to have a completely different vibe. Tonight we have Asuka vs. Nia Jax so let's get to it.
We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar fighting Braun Strowman last week until Strowman pulled a huge piece of the set down onto Lesnar and Kane. That's quite the visual, but both Brock and Kane being conscious after a commercial hurt things a lot.
Here's Strowman to get things going. He has a short story for us but it has a happy ending. Before he can get to his story though, Kurt Angle, flanked by security, cuts him off. Angle lists off all the obvious problems with what Braun did but Strowman says it could have been worse. Kurt gets in the always dumb sounding “unsafe worried environment” line with Strowman saying he did his job.
Strowman is ready to do whatever he wants and if that means ripping the walls off of Suplex City, so be it. Angle says Strowman is lucky Kane and Lesnar can still compete at the Rumble. As for Strowman though, he's out of the match because HE'S FIRED. I'm not even going to bother getting all annoyed here because there's no way they'll do Kane vs. Lesnar as a one on one. Hardcore Holly was a more interesting (and believable) challenger back in 2004.
In the back, Braun leaves while threatening security.
Raw moment: Hugh Jackman is guest host.
Post break, a security guard orders Strowman to leave and the destruction is on. Braun promises to do even more.
The Bar vs. Titus Worldwide
Rematch from last week where Titus scored a fluke pin. Dana Brooke is in a very different top this week to prevent another instance of last week's, uh, incident. Cesaro powers Crews into the corner to start but it's quickly off to Titus for an exchange of chops in the corner. Cesaro uppercuts Crews down though and Sheamus adds a top rope clothesline as we take a break.
Back with Sheamus getting two off a middle rope ax handle and grabbing a chinlock on Crews. Apollo fights up and brings in Titus for the forearms to the chest and an impressive toss to Cesaro. Everything breaks down and Crews moonsaults to the floor just like last week but Cesaro is ready for him this time. An uppercut to Titus knocks him into a rollup for two, only to have the Neutralizer broken up. Apollo's high crossbody and standing moonsault get two each but Sheamus picks him up for White Noise. Cue Jason Jordan for a distraction though, allowing Crews to roll Sheamus up for the pin at 10:48.
Seth Rollins comes out to ask Jordan what he's doing.
Strowman kicks in the door to Angle's office and breaks a lot of stuff.
Post break, Strowman wrecks catering and chokeslams Curt Hawkins through a table. He does however take a piece of chocolate cake from a nearly catatonic worker. I can appreciate a man with a taste for some cake and Strowman as the unstoppable monster is fun.
Tony Nese vs. Cedric Alexander
Before the match, Enzo Amore says he's like Frankenstein and Cedric is like Dracula because he sucks. Goldust is in Cedric's corner and says Cedric is a box office smash. After the title match at the Rumble, the one word to describe Cedric will be champion. Cedric says that between Amore's face and his ankle, the only word to describe him is sawft. We're joined in progress after a break, but not before seeing Strowman shoving a dumpster through the back.
That's one thing that drives me crazy about WWE. Strowman is supposed to be destroying everything on a rampage, but he does it right after we get back from a commercial and before we get to this match. Go split screen to show him doing this at the same time or something, but find a way to make it feel more spontaneous.
Anyway, to the match. Cedric catches him with an ankle scissors but Nese knees him in the ribs as Booker talks about how Angle shouldn't have fired Strowman live in the ring. We hit the neck crank on Cedric with Enzo talking so much trash that Goldust goes after him, even mocking the dance. Cedric fights up and hits the springboard clothesline for two, only to get slowed down by a headlock. Back up and Cedric elbow shim in the face, followed by the Lumbar Check (with a great sell job from Tony) for the pin at 5:52.
Angle is thinking about calling in a SWAT team but is told Strowman is heading towards the production trucks.
Post break Strowman goes into the truck and shoves a bunch of papers around before leaving without causing too much damage. The whole thing starts shaking though as Strowman has unhooked the semi from the truck and is trying to turn it over. Angle comes up to say he's called the cops. His phone rings as Strowman leaves, only to come back and flip the truck over with the camera going spastic with cuts to hide how fake it looked, making it look worse in the process.
Strowman heads into the arena and goes after commentary, picking Cole up by one hand and carrying him over the stage. Angle and security shows up with Kurt saying he's called the cops off. Stephanie has rehired Strowman and he's back in the title match (because of course Stephanie can solve any problem in ten seconds while it's caused Angle problems for an hour) if he lets Cole go. Braun does let him go, with a flying toss off the stage and onto the security guards. The Stephanie thing made me roll my eyes but Cole being picked up by the belt and carried away like a child was funny stuff.
Tom Phillips replaces Cole on commentary.
Nia Jax vs. Asuka
Asuka gets tossed around to start but comes right back with a Black Widow (ala AJ Lee) into something like an abdominal stretch. Nia calmly shoves Asuka's leg off though and catches her with a backbreaker. A triangle choke cuts Nia off again until she lifts Asuka up for a powerbomb into the corner as we take a break. Back with Asuka fighting out of a bearhug and avoiding a sitdown splash.
Asuka's running kick to the chest drops Jax but she's right back up with a hard powerbomb. Asuka grabs a kneebar to send Nia bailing to the ropes and they head outside. Asuka avoids a charge and sends Nia into the steps, only to have Nia get her knee caught between the ring and the steps. Nia beats the count back in but the referee stops it due to the knee injury at 10:45.
Alexa Bliss comes out to check on Nia.
Jason Jordan comes in to see Angle, who is still upset over Braun. Jordan has been watching his dad's back all night and wouldn't have let Strowman do anything. He thanks Angle for the opportunities again but thinks Seth needs a warmup for next week. Say against Finn Balor tonight, which Angle makes for later.
The announcers talk about Martin Luther King Day.
Video on Martin Luther King.
Bliss blames herself for Nia's injury when Enzo comes in to check on Nia as well. Nia tells Bliss that Enzo has this so Alexa leaves while not looking happy.
Revival vs. ???/???
Yes it's an old school squash against nameless jobbers. Dawson suplexes jobber #1 and gives hi a hard clothesline for good measure. Dash comes in with a jumping knee to the face before sending it off to jobber #2. In a cool spot, Revival loads up #2 for something like a Snapshot (elevated DDT) but Dash flips him up like a backdrop, only to have Dawson send him forward in a gordbuster. The Shatter Machine ends #1 at 1:39. There's something so great about jobbers not even having names because they're not important enough.
Post match Revival brags about their tag team skills because too many people are worried about Instagram likes or video games. As for next week, Revival isn't thrilled with meeting any of the veterans at Raw 25 because there's nothing old school about beer bashes and crotch chops. They're professional wrestlers instead of sports entertainers so WWE doesn't want them to succeed. Next week at Raw 25, the superstars from around the world are coming to their universe and the Revival is setting the tone for the next 25 years. Good promo here but as always: FOLLOW UP ON IT.
Here's Elias for a new song. He's looking forward to the Royal Rumble but wants to eliminate Cena, along with 29 others. So he's going to pull a Mil Mascaras and eliminate himself? Elias insults the San Antonio Spurs and introduces Miz and the Miztourage for a chat before their match.
Miz talks about the fans cheering him last week because they recognize greatness. The fans knew something was missing from Raw and it wasn't Cena or Lesnar but rather Miz. Last week Miz and the Miztourage beat up Roman Reigns and it felt awesome. That spark is why he and Maryse are getting their own series on USA and next week he's getting the Intercontinental Title back. It's going to feel awesome. Maybe it's just because he hasn't been around lately but Miz has felt like a bigger deal in the last two weeks.
Roman Reigns vs. Miztourage
Non-title. Miz offers an early distraction to no avail as Reigns punches both lackeys down. Axel's cheap shot allows the Miztourage to send Reigns into the steps and the beating is on. We hit the chinlock for a good while until Axel has to save his partner from a suplex. Instead Dallas gets two off a DDT, followed by some double teaming to keep Reigns slowed down.
Reigns fights up and hits a Samoan drop, followed by knocking Dallas off the apron. We get the always stupid spot of someone accidentally DDTing his partner with Axel getting spiked. The Superman Punch drops both guys and Miz's distraction fails, allowing Reigns to spear Axel for the pin at 8:16.
Sasha Banks vs. Sonya Deville
The rest of Absolution, Bayley and Mickie James are at ringside. As we get started, Paige is officially ruled out of the Royal Rumble. Nothing is mentioned beyond that though. A very early Bank Statement attempt send Deville bailing to the ropes but Mandy offers a distraction so Sonya can get in a few shots.
We hit a chinlock with a body vice as Booker compares Sonya to Ken Shamrock in a rare name drop. Banks fights up and goes to the middle rope, only to dive into a kick to the chest for the completely clean pin at 2:26. That's exactly the way this needed to go. Oh and welcome to the doghouse Sasha. Bayley can keep you company (for whatever reason).
Some wrestlers were at the National Civil Rights Museum last week.
Rollins tells Jordan to calm down and stop trying to be his spokesperson. This story hasn't been bad but my levels of not caring whenever either of them show up is growing in a hurry.
Matt Hardy vs. Heath Slater
Joined in progress with Matt hitting a splash to Slater's back and hammering away. Matt sends him into the ropes and laughs a lot so Slater heads outside for a meeting with Rhyno. Back in and Matt bites the hand before launching Slater into the corner. Matt thinks Slater must be deleted so it's the ten rams into the buckle and a Twist of Fate for the pin at 3:37.
Goldberg is official for the Hall of Fame so it's time for a long video package.
We look back at Strowman's path of destruction earlier tonight.
Royal Rumble rundown.
Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins
Jordan, Gallows and Anderson are at ringside. Balor armbars him to start but gets armdragged away, followed by a kick to the back. Seth gets sent outside though and a kick to the chest puts him down as we take a break. Back (after a Raw moment of the 1-2-3 Kid pinning Razor Ramon in a huge upset) with Rollins hitting the Blockbuster but hurting his knee. It's fine enough to try the suicide dive though and Balor is down again.
They get back inside with Rolling hitting a forearm to the back but having Balor slip out of the Falcon Arrow. The Sling Blade takes Rollins down, only to have Seth come back with his own. Balor gets in another Sling Blade but charges into a superkick for two. I really wouldn't emphasize how they both use the same move like that but have it their way. The Wind-Up knee is countered with a forearm so Rollins enziguris him down. Seth has to roll through the Phoenix splash and gets caught with the shotgun dropkick in the corner.
The Coup de Grace is broken up with the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two more and both guys are down. Seth's frog splash hits the knees though and Balor rolls him up for....two apparently but here's the Bar to interrupt. The brawl is on at ringside with Anderson and Gallows fighting the Bar until Balor hits a flip dive to take all four out. Another kick to the head sets up the Coup de Grace but Rollins rolls away. Cesaro's distraction allows Jordan to trip Balor and Rollins hits the curb stomp (WHERE IN THE WORLD HAS THAT BEEN???) for the pin at 15:18.
Balor is rather shaken up and the camera stays on him for a long time to end the show.
Results
Titus Worldwide b. The Bar – Rollup to Sheamus
Cedric Alexander b. Tony Nese – Lumbar Check
Asuka b. Nia Jax via referee stoppage
Revival b. ???/??? – Shatter Machine
Roman Reigns b. Miztourage – Spear to Axel
Sonya Deville b. Sasha Banks – Kick to the chest
Matt Hardy b. Heath Slater – Twist of Fate
Seth Rollins b. Finn Balor – Blackout
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: January 16, 2018
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
Please be better. The last few weeks haven't been kind to Smackdown and I really could use a good episode to change things up a bit. The problem continues to be Daniel Bryan vs. Shane McMahon, which has dominated the show so strongly that it's taking away from a lot of the other stories. Hopefully that starts to change tonight. Let's get to it.
Here's the New Day for an opening chat. Woods brings out the pancakes and stands behind a podium as all three do the tongue roll to announce Jinder Mahal's Maharajah nickname. See, America is like a bunch of pancakes: made of flour, eggs and freedom. America is built up like Home Alone 1, 2 and 3. Big E: “Not so much with 3.” Woods talks about Jinder hating Home Alone and hating every one of you. The fans are against Jinder but the Singh Brothers come out to introduce Mahal.
US Title Tournament Semifinals: Jinder Mahal vs. Xavier Woods
The finals will now be next week instead of at the Royal Rumble. Mahal kicks him in the face to start and elbows a charging Woods in the jaw. A jumping knee gets two and we take a break. Back with Jinder holding him in a chinlock and Big E. throwing pancakes at the Singh Brothers. The fans want pancakes as Jinder forearms Woods down to the floor. Back in and a knee to the head gets two as we take a second break.
We come back again with Woods hitting a missile dropkick and winning a slugout (with those AMERICAN right hands). A discus punch drops Mahal and a Shining Wizard gets two. New Day goes after the Singh Brothers and chases the up the aisle, leaving us one on one. The top rope elbow misses though and Woods is whipped throat first into the bottom rope (kind of a dangerous move). The Khallas sends Mahal to the finals at 18:02.
At a house show, Baron Corbin talked about knowing he'll win the Royal Rumble because it's just a fight and that's what he does best. Corbin was announced as being in the match two weeks ago.
Quick look at the media talking about Goldberg's Hall of Fame induction.
AJ Styles dubs Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens as Kami and says he sees himself as being down 3-1 because Owens is like two people.
Carmella knows how to make history so she'll win the Rumble.
Natalya has the catlike reflexes to win. She says Bret's catchphrase for the second time tonight (after a Mixed Match Challenge promo).
Tamina says she'll win.
Lana promises to make it the Ravishing Rumble.
Naomi is going to make everyone feel the Glow.
Riott knows how to create chaos and no one can stop her.
Sarah Logan isn't running from anything.
Liv Morgan is here to make history so she'll do it at the Rumble.
Becky Lynch promises to win. These were like the old school Rumble promos (save for the camera being hand held and a bit shaky, making them look kind of bad) and that's a very good thing, even if most of the women didn't have much to say.
US Title Tournament Semifinals: Bobby Roode vs. Mojo Rawley
I'm still getting used to Mojo's new music and Jackson Pollack inspired entrance video. Roode shoves him around to start and hits the GLORIOUS pose. Back up and Mojo runs through Roode and complains at the referee for getting in his way. They head outside with Mojo hitting a long running charge to drive Roode into the barricade. We take a break and come back with Mojo putting on a pretty bad looking abdominal stretch, though he does hit Roode in the ribs a few times.
Mojo asks Roode if he's cracked a rib before hammering at said ribs. That's rather cruel of him. Back up and Mojo misses a charge into the post, allowing Roode to hit the Blockbuster for two. The Glorious DDT is countered into a fireman's carry faceplant (basically an F5 without the spin) for two. The running punch in the corner is blocked with some raised boots and Roode grabs the spinebuster. Roode hits the Glorious DDT to go to the finals at 13:13.
Post match the Singh Brothers come in to beat on Roode but are dispatched fairly quickly. Mahal comes out to say he'll be champion next week. Roode wants to fight now and we get the standard heel response. You know, because why would Mahal want to face a banged up Roode who just finished a long match? Daniel Bryan pops up from behind and says the finals are on TONIGHT.
Randy Orton, in a ring in an empty arena, likes to be surrounded by chaos, so the Rumble is his match.
Charlotte/Becky Lynch/Naomi vs. Riott Squad
Charlotte suplexes Morgan for two to start and does her Figure Four neck lock flips to Riott. The Squad gets sent outside and we take a break. Back with Lynch being sent into Morgan's knees for two and Liv grabbing the hair to cut off a hot tag attempt. Becky finally dives over and brings in Naomi to speed things up. The spear cuts Logan down but Riott kicks Naomi into the one kneed Codebreaker for the pin at 8:10.
The Usos think Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin got together on Tag Team Tinder. They can't remember which Uso is which though and get beaten down by Gable and Benjamin. Chad knows who they are: the former champions.
Long video on AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens.
Shinsuke Nakamura says he'll win. Is there a reason none of the big wrestlers are actually here tonight?
Next week: Rusev Day vs. Ascension.
US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal
The title is vacant coming in, Roode's ribs are banged up, there are no Singh Brothers and Shane McMahon/Daniel Bryan are at ringside. Feeling out process to start with Mahal's cheap shot to the ribs being cut off. They head outside with Mahal driving the bad ribs into the barricade and getting in a few more shots as we take a break.
Back with Mahal bending the ribs around the post and then slapping on an abdominal stretch (take notes Mojo). Some knees to the ribs keep Roode down and Mahal puts a knee in the back. You can't fault the psychology here but you can fault the fans being dead bored after this lame show.
Roode gets two off a sunset flip but a superkick gives Mahal the same to keep him in control. Bobby finally sends him outside for a clothesline from the apron as the crowd is just gone here. Back in and Mahal rolls through a high crossbody for two of his own, followed by a Blockbuster for the same. Roode's spinebuster plants Mahal again and the Khallas is reversed into the Glorious DDT to make Roode the champion at 15:44.
The bosses present Roode with the title to end the show.
Results
Jinder Mahal b. Xavier Woods – Khallas
Bobby Roode b. Mojo Rawley – Glorious DDT
Riott Squad b. Charlotte/Becky Lynch/Naomi – Codebreaker to Naomi
Bobby Roode b. Jinder Mahal – Glorious DDT
Wednesday
NXT
Date: January 17, 2018
Location: Center Stage Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson
We're still in Atlanta as we're heading towards Philadelphia for the next Takeover. Last week saw the Undisputed Era beat down Aleister Black to end the show, earning Adam Cole an Extreme Rules match with Black in Philadelphia. Odds are we'll get the final card for the next Takeover tonight so let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
We see the shots of the crowd and there's a rather prominent fan with a Britney Spears shirt. I'd wear that.
Heavy Machinery vs. Tino Sabbatelli/Riddick Moss
As usual, it's a feud over Sabbatelli and Moss' car. Otis runs Sabbatelli over with a hard shoulder to start and Tino isn't sure what to do about that kind of power. Tucker comes in and grabs a front facelock to swing Tino around in a circle, only to have him land in front of Moss. Heavy Machinery crushes Moss between the two of them followed by something like a Worm into an elbow. It's back to Tino to hammer on Otis until a clothesline allows the hot tag to Knight. Everything breaks down and Moss grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin at 4:41.
Cole isn't worried about Black because there are a million and one ways to hurt him. Bobby Fish and Kyle O'Reilly know everyone wants their titles but they're all in the Era's era. I'm still not sold on that name as Undisputed would just sound better.
We look back at the ending of last week's show with the announcement of the Extreme Rules match. Shouldn't that have aired before the promo?
Roderick Strong vs. Fabian Aichner
Strong tries a headlock to start as the fans seem split. A leg lariat gives Strong two but Aichner powerslams him out of the air as we take a break. Back with Aichner holding an abdominal stretch until Strong fights out. The Angle Slam is broken up so Strong settles for his first backbreaker. Aichner is right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker of his own and goes up, only to dive into another backbreaker. The Strong Hold (now a Liontamer) is good for the tap out at 7:37.
Post match Strong says he wants Lars Sullivan, who had already said he wanted to face Killian Dain. So we might be looking at a three way?
Long video on TM-61, who will be back from injury rather soon. They've been out for a very long time. They've been training for years, including training under Harley Race. All the work has been worth it though and they're ready to make it here. They worked their way through a WWE tryout but also were young boys in Japan. Next week we'll get part two, which hopefully is as awesome as this one.
Aliyah vs. Lacey Evans
Aliyah gets taken down with a wristlock to start but walks into a jawbreaker. Evans is sent to the apron and kicks Aliyah's leg out for a slingshot elbow. A slingshot bronco buster gets two more on Aliyah but she grabs a northern lights suplex. Back up and Aliyah charges into a right hand in the corner....for the pin at 3:24.
Post match Evans says she wants to bring some class to the women's division and she'll start with Nikki Cross. Shayna Baszler comes out and glares at Evans before grabbing her choke on Aliyah, who is still woozy from the right hand. Ember Moon runs in for the save and tells Baszler to try that on her. Baszler says she'll do it when the title is on the line. Moon says name the time.
William Regal makes the title match for Takeover. Zelina Vega comes in to say Velveteen Dream deserves the shot more than Johnny Gargano so they should have a #1 contenders match.
No Way Jose is back next week. I liked the guy, but I hadn't remembered he was gone.
Johnny Gargano comes to the ring and says bring Dream on. This isn't a fluke and this is his time and opportunity. The match is on for next week.
We look back at the Undisputed Era attacking Sanity to avoid the title defense last week.
Authors of Pain vs. Street Profits
The winners get the title shot in Philadelphia. Akum shoulders Ford down to start and easily pulls him over to the corner so Razar can get in his own shots to the back. The fans are behind the Profits of course as Ford has to fight out of a full nelson. One heck of a full nelson slam gives Razar two and it's off to a chinlock as we take a break.
Back with Ford fighting out of a front facelock and bringing Dawkins in to clean house. A spinebuster/missile dropkick combination gets two on Akum and that's probably their best shot. The Super Collider into the Last Chapter ends Ford at 9:43 to send the Authors to Philadelphia.
Results
Tino Sabbatelli/Riddick Moss b. Heavy Machinery – Rollup to Moss
Roderick Strong b. Fabian Aichner – Strong Hold
Lacey Evans b. Aliyah – Right hand
Authors of Pain b. Street Profits – Last Chapter to Ford
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: January 18, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews
This is another interesting show as the main event is a big barbed wire match between LAX and OVE. Well in theory at least, as for some reason that is airing on Impact's new Twitch channel just after the regular show ends. Not that they advertised that last week or anything. There's also a “World Title match” in the form of more clips from another promotion's show. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
X-Division Title: Dezmond Xavier vs. Taiji Ishimori
Xavier is challenging. An early lockup sees the champ driven into the corner and it's an actual clean break. Ishimori's break isn't as clean and things get a bit testy, all the way to an armdrag. A twisting rollup gives Ishimori two and they trade dropkicks as things speed up in a hurry.
Back in and Dezmond strikes away in the corner before grabbing a chinlock. Something close to a Last Chancery keeps Ishimori in trouble but as usual, it doesn't last long. Back up and another dropkick sends the champ outside and a suicide dive puts him over the barricade. Dezmond hits a huge flip dive from the ring over the barricade to drop the champ (that's some impressive athleticism) and we take a break. Back with Dezmond hitting a jumping cutter, followed by a dropkick to the back of the head for two.
Ishimori is fine enough to hit a delayed superplex for two of his own and they're both down again. A Vader Bomb hits Dezmond's raised boot though and the Final Flash gets two. Back up and Dezmond slips out of a Tombstone attempt before hitting a standing moonsault for two more. That just earns him a gutbuster, followed by Ishimori's 450 to retain the title at 16:33.
OVE promises to take over everything tonight.
Long recap of OVE vs. LAX, including their battles over the titles and OVE bringing in Sami Callihan as backup. This eats up nine minutes. My goodness stop acting like this is Edge and Christian vs. the Hardys vs. the Dudleys. A barbed wire match isn't all that impressive.
Video on American Top Team taking out James Storm and Moose trying for revenge. This show is starting to feel like a pay per view pre-show instead of a regular episode.
Flashback of the week: Aron Rex wins the first Grand Championship.
Video on Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Sydal for the Grand Championship.
Video (COME ON ALREADY!) on Gail Kim vacating the title and Laurel Van Ness winning it, much to Allie's annoyance.
Allie is ready for her title shot next week because she's tired of being treated so badly by Van Ness. This was an old school style promo and it worked quite well.
Kongo Kong vs. Chandler Park
I did not wait for nearly an hour for a freaking Kongo Kong match. Chandler's strikes to the chest have no effect but Kong's missed charge gives him a breather. That's about as long as it lasts too as Kongo whips him into the corner for a Cannonball. An over the shoulder sitout Tombstone is good for the pin on Park at 1:57.
Kong gives Chandler a top rope splash and Joseph throws up the injury X. This is what the world was waiting for: more Kongo Kong.
Johnny Impact wants to take the World Title back to Los Angeles. Drake is from LA too, so does he want Eli to retain?
Alberto El Patron is in Detroit for the sole purpose of taking the Impact Wrestling World Title.
Eli Drake is ready to defend the title anywhere, including Detroit.
Impact Wrestling World Title: Eli Drake vs. Alberto El Patron vs. Johnny Impact
Drake is defending and this is at another poorly lit Border City Wrestling show. It's a brawl to start with the ropes looking very loose. Impact is sent shoulder first into the post and Drake powerslams Alberto for two. They head outside (likely to be away from the unsafe looking ropes) with Drake chairing Impact down.
We're clipped (erg) to Alberto hitting double knees in the corner on the champ for two but Impact comes out from underneath a pile of chairs to blast both guys. The breakdancing legdrop gets two on Alberto but Eli comes back in with something resembling a ProtoBomb for two of his own with Alberto pulling the referee out. Patron can't hit the Gravy Train on Drake but a Backstabber gets two with Johnny pulling the referee out.
Now it's Johnny hitting his flip neckbreaker on Alberto but, say it with me, Drake pulls the referee out. The referee yells at all of them so it's a triple superkick to take him down. Another referee comes in to count two on Johnny after a low blow and it's Drake taking over. Drake isn't happy with a two count so the second referee takes a Gravy Train. The locker room empties out and the match is a no contest at around 7:20.
Rosemary vs. KC Spinelli
Josh hypes up all the available DVDs of wrestlers who aren't on the roster anymore. Way to hype up your current talent. Rosemary gets her choke over the ropes as JB mentions that next week it's Drake vs. El Patron vs. Impact for the title in a cage as the main event of Genesis. Yes that feud continues, but yes next week is also a special episode, which I don't recall hearing until just now. Spinelli kind of dances into a hip attack in the corner, followed by a bulldog for two. A discus lariat gives KC two but Rosemary fakes her out with the mist, setting up the Red Wedding for the pin at 3:38.
Post match Rosemary says she wants to face Laurel but has to wait for our favorite bunny Allie to get her chance. Rosemary wants the next shot but gets jumped by Hania, who has wrestled for Ring of Honor before.
In case you didn't get the idea earlier, here's a seven minute video on the barbed wire match.
Genesis preview.
The entrances for the barbed wire match wrap us up and it's off to the Twitch channel. And that's the show. I'll edit in the match after it airs on Twitch. It'll be after the Overall Rating because, simply put, it's not part of the show.
Results
Taiji Ishimori b. Dezmond Xavier – 450 splash
Kongo Kong b. Chandler Park – Sitout Tombstone
Johnny Impact vs. Alberto El Patron vs. Eli Drake went to a no contest
Rosemary b. KC Spinelli – Red Wedding
LAX vs. OVE
Six man tag with the ropes replaced by barbed wire. They slug it out to start and head outside with OVE staring up at LAX. Shouting ensues until Santana hits a running flip dive to take everyone out. Callihan and Ortiz head inside and they have....forks. The Abdullah the Butcher tribute begins before they both get in a stab to the forehead. Ortiz is tossed into the barbed wire and Callihan is sent in a few seconds later.
A spear sends Dave Crist into a barbed wire board in the corner but Ortiz takes a slow motion charge into it as well. Jake Crist tries an O'Connor Roll for the sake of being kicked into the wire. Homicide wraps the wire into Jake's mouth and it's time to head outside for more violence. Chairs and barbed wire boards are swung, followed by a double suplex onto another barbed wire board.
Back in and Homicide pours alcohol onto Dave's open wounds, only to have Sami DDT him onto a trashcan lid for two. Jake gets suplexed through a barbed wire board on the floor, followed by Homicide hitting a cutter “onto” the barbed wire board. The Gringo Killer is broken up and Homicide is suplexed onto the ropes, breaking them down. We take a break (because this was originally set up for TV) with Jake being sent through more wire and onto a table.
The wire is still wrapped around Jake but Santana cuts him free so he can be Death Valley Driven through a barbed wire board for two. Dave spears Santana through a table to the floor, leaving Homicide to be tombstoned onto a chair wrapped in barbed wire for two. Sami loads up two tables in the ring but stops to piledrive Dave instead. A ladder is brought in but Konnan hits Callihan with a barbed wire bat. Ortiz stabs Dave with some wooden spikes and superplexes him through the two tables for the pin at 16:57.
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Titus Worldwide b. The Bar – Rollup to Sheamus
Cedric Alexander b. Tony Nese – Lumbar Check
Asuka b. Nia Jax via referee stoppage
Revival b. ???/??? – Shatter Machine
Roman Reigns b. Miztourage – Spear to Axel
Sonya Deville b. Sasha Banks – Kick to the chest
Matt Hardy b. Heath Slater – Twist of Fate
Seth Rollins b. Finn Balor – Blackout
Smackdown
Jinder Mahal b. Xavier Woods – Khallas
Bobby Roode b. Mojo Rawley – Glorious DDT
Riott Squad b. Charlotte/Becky Lynch/Naomi – Codebreaker to Naomi
Bobby Roode b. Jinder Mahal – Glorious DDT
NXT
Tino Sabbatelli/Riddick Moss b. Heavy Machinery – Rollup to Moss
Roderick Strong b. Fabian Aichner – Strong Hold
Lacey Evans b. Aliyah – Right hand
Authors of Pain b. Street Profits – Last Chapter to Ford
Impact Wrestling
Taiji Ishimori b. Dezmond Xavier – 450 splash
Kongo Kong b. Chandler Park – Sitout Tombstone
Johnny Impact vs. Alberto El Patron vs. Eli Drake went to a no contest
Rosemary b. KC Spinelli – Red Wedding