Video Games With Best Quotes

[Mac Attack]

So I recently finished playing Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Descent for 3DS and had been commenting on how this game may have had the most inspirational quotes I've heard in a long time. Now I've played through the other Kingdon Hearts games and will admit my favorite actually comes from the first game in "a heart may be weak, and may even give in. But I've learned deep down there's a light never goes out." However this got me thinking about the video games that in general have the best quotes in their games.

I'm a big fan of all the kingdom hearts quotes however Arkham Asylum had some funny one liners, I always like bringing up "there's a time and a place for everything" from Pokemon, and have also found God of War cutscenes to be interesting simply because I like Greek mythology.

So I pose the question to all of you. Which video games have you played that you think have the best quotes?

 

[LoudClearVoice]

Mortal Kombat's short and sweet: "FINISH HIM!!!!!" is legendary.

NBA Jam: "He's on fire!!!!!!!!"

Metal Gear Solid II: "Huh, what was that? It's just a box."

These are some of the quotes I remember, growing up.

 

[The Butcher]

THANK YOU MARIO!

BUT OUR PRINCESS IS IN
ANOTHER CASTLE!

 

[WhatAboutRaven]

They may not be the best games ever created (great ones, in my opinion but that's besides the point), but just for the sake of funny "what the hell is..." sort of quotes, I'd have to go ahead and throw out a few votes for Borderlands and Borderlands 2.

Have you ever wondered what the hair of a chick with magical powers and blue tattoos tasted like? Borderlands series did, and the answer is fried pickles. Ever wanted to ride bicycles made out of meat. Besides being the game series that actually got me to enjoy the rpg genre (still trying to figure that one out, honestly. Usually I hate games that just sent you on quest after quest after quest) It's quickly becoming my favorite games, two in particular. Small sample of quotes being

"Did you know that 97 percent of all living things on Pandora is not exploding right now? THAT'S BULLSHIT!!! Buy Torque."

"Now go get them crumpets for me. Crumpets are Cruuuunk"

And of course, the lovely exchange between a group of bandits of:
"I still remember the taste of her lovely sweatbox. She fed me such tears of ecstasy!"

"LIAR! I ripped out her bumpy tummy! And her hot screams, were for ME!"

"No, mommy bled for us both! She bled for us both!"

 

[The Butcher]

I went for iconic last post, but when I think of the "best" quotes, I'd give the nod to Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri. Not only is the original script thought-provoking and quotable, but it contains quotes from great thinkers ranging from Aristotle to Nietzsche to Thomas Moore. Really hard to top if you're looking for serious quotes.

 

[Mitch Henessey]

Well, it's kind of from the movie and the game, but Vader in SNES Super Star Wars Return Of The Jedi during the intro:

"Commander, I hope for your sake the new Death Star will be completed by the time the Emperor arrives."

And it happens in Super SNES The Empire Strikes Back and Super SNES Return Of The Jedi, but during the saber duels with Luke and Vader, Vader will say "impressive" or "most impressive," if you land enough clean shots on him. Also, I think Vader blurts out "curses" every now and then, but it's hard to tell, and it annoys me, because in all my years of playing the SNES Star Wars games based on the movies (A New Hope is a lot of fun too) I've never been able to figure this out.

SNES Return Of The Jedi is my favorite of the three, and a lot of that has to do with the select your hero option. On select levels (you still have to fight Vader as Luke, and you also have to fight the Emperor as Luke, and Luke is the only option during the final missions from within the Death Star), you can choose from Leia, Chewbacca, Han Solo, an Ewok, and of course Luke. And as Leia you can fight select missions in the slave costume at Jabba's palace, the bounty hunter outfit she wore to free Han from the carbonite, and the normal Rebel outfit. The levels of awesomeness behind the different versions of Leia is the main reason why I played this game over and over again (still do every now and then, if I feel like it) as a kid after beating it on every level of difficulty.

 

[Dirk]

My favourite (hands down!) is Max Payne. Beautifully-told story, decent graphics (that were amazing in MP2) and fun gameplay. And that gravelly delivery!

*"The sun went down with practiced bravado."


*"This was the rotten core of the Big Apple."

*"Gognitti bailed. I made like Chow Yun-Fat."

*"In stepped this knockout femme fatale,
holding a gun to my face. I returned the
favor."

*"He had a baseball bat, and I was tied to a
chair. Pissing him off was the smart thing to
do."

*"Vlad was one of those old time bad guys
with honor and morals, which almost made
him one of the good guys. None of us was a
saint."

 

[Dagger Dias]

Final Fantasy 6's SNES version had some funny lines in it due to the translation skills or lack thereof by Mr Ted Woolsey. He is the one who gave us ridiculous gems such as:

Kefka: Son of a submariner!

Kefka: Run, run, or you'll be well done!

Locke: Yeah, this kid seems loaded for bear.

Edgar: That's Shadow, he'd slit his mama's throat for a nickel!

Terra: At first glance, I thought he was some bodybuilder who had strayed from his gym....

Locke: Don't let a lecherous young king who shall remain nameless near you!

Sabin: General Leo.... He could be my friend if he weren't my enemy....

Kefka: Wait he says.... Do I look like a waiter?

Owzer: You born on a farm, son?

Ziegfried: If I were you, Ox, I'd take Grandpa here and run!

Shadow: I'm working for the empire, but don't worry, I'm not going to garrote you!

Ultros: Ok, Uncle Ulty really wants you to draw his portrait!

Ziegfried: On the hum, let's go!


There's plenty more but those are some of my favorites. They make me laugh each time.

 

[Dagger Dias]

Earthbound has some classic quotes filled with hilarity.... Here's some of the sillier lines from one of the weirdest games ever made.


Apple Kid: I've come up with another wacky invention that I think has real potential. Maybe you won't, but anyway...It's called the 'Gourmet Yogurt Machine.' It makes many different flavors of yogurt. The only problem is, right now, it can only make trout-flavored yogurt...

Battle Message: Mad Duck made something spin around

Cop in Onett: A meteorite has landed, the Sharks are running wild in town, you kids are wandering around, and, I'm hungry...I hate my job!

Department Store Spook: Gwaagh, Gwarrrgh! You finally made it. This department store is gonna be your grave! Gwaaagh. You will be gone, and you'll be burning in...well, you'll go to heaven!

Fan of Venus: I heard Venus made an appearance at the Runaway Five show. I missed her 'cause I went to the bathroom. I'll hate bathrooms for the rest of my life.

Female Monkey: One of my friends can use the teleport. What? You've never heard of it? Then, I'll give you King Banana. That didn't make sense, did it? But, anyway, I'm attractive, don't you think?

Guy in Moonside: If you stay here too long, you'll end up frying your brain. Yes, you will. No, you will...not. Yesno, you will won't.

Guy in Moonside: I have no patience for people who interrupt me when I'm busy doing nothing!

Man in Summers: Hey, talking to people at another table in a restaurant is like...breaking into their room and checking their drawers for valuables. Yeah, other people on important adventures do such things, but you have to admit that it's bizarre!

Monotoli Elevator Operator: Quit staring at my hips!

Mr Spoon: Dinosaurs...Huge, aren't they? Well, that's all I've gotten out of my research!

Ness' Mom: Since you left home on your journey, things have changed around here. For example, I don't have as much laundry.

Onett Librarian: Here is the map. All the info is there, except for the info that isn't there.

Pokey's Maid: Master Pokey's cool! He gave me something the other day, and said, this is fit for a maid...

Security Guard in Monotoli Tower: It's ok to visit him here, but don't wander around the building. Someone might be suspicious and take a pot shot at you with a machine gun.

Sign outside of Fourside's Bakery: First Floor - "Fourside Bakery", Second Floor - "Second Floor of the Bakery"

Third Strongest Mole#1: I'm one of the masters of this hole. There are five masters in all. We are all moles, of course. I believe I'm the third strongest amongst us. Take your best shot!

Third Strongest Mole #2: I'm really the third strongest master. I'll destroy you now!

Third Strongest Mole#3: My strength falls between the second and fourth strongest masters. Do you wanna test me?

Third Strongest Mole #4: I'm truly the third strongest master of this hole. I'll demonstrate the power of being third to you!

Third Strongest Mole #5: Ha ha ha. You've fought the strongest master of this hole, the second strongest master of this hole, the fourth strongest master of this hole, and the weakest master of this hole! I'm truly the third strongest master of this hole. Now you see the true advantage of being third!

Zombie: You're the enemy of all zombies! You monster!


These each add to the strangeness of the game. There will truly never be another game quite like Earthbound.

 

[Wolf Pac]

I'm trying to think of others but the main ones that come to mind for me are quotes from fighting games, since fighting games are my favourite genre.

"Hadouken", "Shoryuken" - Street Fighter

"C-c-c-combo breaker", "Hyper/Super c-c-c-combo" - Killer Instinct

Pretty much any lines from Shao Khan in Mortal Kombat

My favourite one is the "Whoopsie" guy who would pop up at the right side of the screen when you hit an Uppercut in Mortal Kombat 2. He always cracked me up whenever he appeared, and always made me feel even more better about the Uppercut that I had just delivered to my opponent.

 

[The Butcher]

I wouldn't be me if I didn't mention Pro Wrestling's "A WINNER IS YOU"

 

[Dagger Dias]

My favourite one is the "Whoopsie" guy who would pop up at the right side of the screen when you hit an Uppercut in Mortal Kombat 2. He always cracked me up whenever he appeared, and always made me feel even more better about the Uppercut that I had just delivered to my opponent.

He actually says "Toasty!" not "whoopsie". That's a good one though, I'd use tons of uppercuts back in the day to make him appear. I remember as a kid I used to think it was the guy from Weinerville.

 

[Dagger Dias]

Let's not forget this epic piece of text from the very first Legend of Zelda game:

"It's dangerous to go alone! Take this."

Wow. HOW SPECIFIC. Oldschool for the win.

 

[Alastor]

I don't know about quotes, but I remember the one liners in the majority of the fighting games. Things like tiger from Sagat, or the FINISH HIM from Mortal Kombat. Resident Evil 3 Nemesis with "Starsssss" is one I'll always remember. L4D have some funny conversations too.

And this will always live in infamy

 

[Mac Attack]

Oh another quality quotation comes from the game Marvel Nemesis. Spider-Man wins the fight and says you "know what we call that? We call that a web slingin ass kickin." Back when I played that game it always use to make me laugh. I might pull out some older stuf in a bit too once they come to me. If I recall Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has some gems.