Heavy rain falls on the gate of an underground parking lot. In the distance a large figure can be seen walking in from the rain. It's Mayhem Champion, Baez with his empty hands on the pockets of a trench coat and his head held low.
He heads towards the camera as Johnny Klamor comes on screen microphone in hand.
Klamor: Ladies and gentlemen here with a WZCW.com exclusive, I have an interview with the Mayhem Champion as we head to Sunday's Uscripted Pay-Per-View. Baez will face the man who stole his title, Steven Holmes of the Crashin Movement.
Baez reaches Klamor with his head still low and all soaked from the rain.
Klamor: Baez, you unprofessional twit. You stay under the rain like that you'll catch a cold. I've seen wrestler perform with colds before. The results can break necks.
Klamor stops and waits for a response from Baez, but he just keeps his head low. Klamor looks at the camera a bit and continues.
Klamor: Well... You now know who took your title. Steven Holmes. Your opponent this Sunday with the stipulation yet to be chosen. To quote the good doctor, how does that make you feel?
Baez slowly begins to give out a maniacal chuckle that startles Klamor. Suddenly Baez swings his head back, throwing his hair back and sprinkling the area with the wet hair.
Baez: Klamor, you're a smart guy, right?
Klamor: Yes. Why?
Baez: Do you read some comics?
Klamor: No. I used to when I was a kid, though.
Baez: Good. Batman, Spiderman, Superman? Stuff like that?
Klamor: Well, yeah. I kinda prefer Archie, but I read those too.
Baez: Archie? Never mind that. Let me ask you something. Why does Peter Parker hide his identity as Spiderman?
Klamor: To protect his loved one's from danger.
Baez: And Superman?
Klamor: Same thing.
Baez: Batman?
Klamor: ...Not really sure. I though Batman's only relative was Alfred. And he already knew who he was.
Baez: *chuckles* To protect Wayne Industries, John.
Klamor: ...oh... Say, for a bum, you're pretty smart. But where is this going?
Baez: Bum? Gee, thanks, John. Anyway, what happened to Mary Jane Watson when The Green Goblin realized Peter Parker was Spiderman?
Klamor: Tried to kill her. Used her as bait.
Baez: When Justin Hammer realized Tony Stark was Iron Man, what did he do?
Klamor: Try to take over Stark Enterprises and put it out of business.
Baez: Right. Let me ask you now. How does this associate with my current situation?
Klamor: ...um... Your mask?
Baez: No, man. See, for months The Crashin household paraded these streets with my title without a worry in the world because they had their identities sealed. Just like Spiderman as he was free to roam New York without anybody invading his privacy. Now the mask came off. Just like in Iron Man. What happens? Rivals use it to their advantages. If Spiderman's identity was ever discovered and made public by J. J., poor Peter Parker would be dead in under an hour. Same case here. The Crashin's, regardless if it was a desperate attempt to screw me out of the World Heavyweight Championship match, or part of their plan, they gave away their identity. The one thing they had over me. Before, they could've done whatever they wanted with me. And they did. And I could do nothing because I didn't know who they were. Now I do. Now I know who they are, where they live, their pastimes, their jobs and soon enough, I'll know what they had for lunch.
Klamor: ...egh...
Baez: On Sunday, I take down Steve Holmes and get my belt back. Again. I need to get insurance for that thing. Then, where I left off. The only reason Dr. Kurt is in the main event, is because I was distracted.
Klamor: Oh, really? You eliminated yourself.
Baez: Priorities, Klamor. Think of it this way. If Dr. Kurt surprises everyone, I have a reason to challenge the World Heavyweight Champion. I'm not giving up on the dream. The pack of cheap thieves inspired me to become something bigger than a flagship for Mayhem. I'm going to become a double champion. Mayhem and World Champion. Only then will I prove I am the best in Mayhem wrestling. Delivering Kickassery on a global scale, televising the revolution world-wide. Sounds great, no?
Klamor: No.
Baez: Sourpuss. History in the making and you're all snarky about it. But enough about that. Time to address the stipulations for my "Eat A Man Alive Match". As if that isn't enough of a gimmick. What do we got?
Klamor: A standard match.
Baez: What? A standard match? Who the hell would vote for that?
Klamor: I did! The marquee says wrestling, you idiot! Not Mayhem, not Circus! Get with the program and learn to wrestle! I don't see why you're worried anyway, the Crashin Movement is banned from ringside.
Baez: I'm a damn good wrestler, thanks you. And I'm not worried. But what if they have someone else? Never though about that, did you? What if someone unexpected comes down and catches me off guard? The ref can't guess he or she is with the Crashin's. Besides, I'm more than certain, that there is someone leading them. This is too good to come out of Crashin's head, the doctor isn't exactly a take-charge guy, and Holmes was stupid enough to let me in on their plan.
Klamor: Here we go. Let me guess. Constantine.
Baez: Maybe. You never know with politics. But never mind. Next match.
Klamor: An "I Quit" match.
Baez: Damn, really? Well, I guess he has to be punished for stealing my property. I just hope I don't beat him too bad. Then how will he say it? I'll be stuck in a match for life, because the guy won't be able to quit.
Klamor: Unless he rips off your mask and shows your ugly mug to the world.
Baez: (sarcastically) How degrading! My face! Don't look at my face! I'm too ugly!
Baez mockingly cries and begins to kneel on the floor and eventually lies down, mocking Klamor before suddenly standing up.
Baez: Who gives a shit?! I'm sexy, regardless. Next match.
Klamor: A "Strap" match.
Baez: Hm. Tied with the man who stole my most precious artifact. Like tying a horny cheating husband to his his angry, knife-wielding wife. SHIT!! SHUTTER!! Do people want me to kill the man? Damn. But then again, I may just deliver. At Unscripted, Steven Holmes better have his will prepared and his goodbye's said. He says, I'm not human. Given the fact that humans are so flawed, I just don't see the problem with that. He's driven to the believe that he's better simply because I look hideous. Don't be blind, boy. I'm sexy. Totally sexy. Look at my sexy abdominal.
Baez lifts his shirt off and rubs his belly.
Klamor: Egh! What the hell, man?! Have some decency!
Baez: Sexy, I know. I'm in a killer mood right now. Shine my belt up real nice, boy. You think I'm dumb and uneducated, but I'm far from it. I'm like a military strategist. Gimme one thing to go with and I'll take you to war. Sunday, regardless of the match, the result will be the same. Me over you. I'm not walking out of the building until I have my belt back. Then, Doug, Kurtesy and anybody else, will get the biggest hang over of their live! Right after they get drunk on my... Kickassery!! Ya hear?!! See ya at Unscripted, wanker.
Baez begins to walk backwards towards the entrance where he came from. Klamor has a dumbfounded face as he watches Baez walks backwards, but them begins to point at him as if he was telling him something. Baez keeps on going until he hits a sign hanging from the ceiling with his head.
*BAM*
Baez holds his head and leans into the fetal position on the floor.
Baez: SON OF A BITCH! That FREAKIN' Hurt!!
Klamor's eyes are wide open as he turns his head towards the camera. He then signals to cut the feed.