The Ins and Outs of the Anaconda Vice (feat. Bargain Basement Announcing)

[Uncle Sam]

The Anaconda Vice - or Anaconda Vise for those who, I dunno, like the letter 's' - is CM Punk's finishing move. Well, his secondary finishing move; his submission finisher; his STF to his AA. Now, you might be forgiven for not knowing what exactly it looks like - he hasn't been using it much in recent years and, well, there are other reasons that I'll get onto. Here, it looks like this:

[YOUTUBE]nGFNIRii_MI[/YOUTUBE]

Now, there's a lot of talk of classes in today's wrestling. Sensitivity class, where you learn to respect diversity and not, you know, use homophobic slurs like they're going out of fashion. Promo class, where you learn how to work the rhythm stick. Hall of Fame class, where you learn that most people don't even know who you are if you aren't the headliner. I think that today's announcers should go to move class, or something of that ilk.

Before SummerSlam, I didn't think announcers not being able to call moves was that much of a problem. If anything, it was something to point and laugh at. I assume announcers used to know what moves were called at some point in time, otherwise I'm confused as to how I know what the moves are called. A maneuver here, a slam there, some impact in between, whatever.

At SummerSlam, you might recall a brilliant submission exchange. Cena and Punk countered through a Kofi Clutch, a STF, an Anaconda Vice and a (don't say Crippler) Crossface. If memory serves me, and it rarely does, only one of these moves was called correctly. If you guessed the obvious one - the Kofi Clutch - you were wrong. Thing is, I don't have a problem not knowing what a Koji Clutch is called, or even a crossface, but when you don't know what one of the finishing moves of the second biggest babyface of your company is called or looks like? Come the fuck on! Booker T came closest with "Key Lock" but that gets half points at best.

Rewind to Money in the Bank (go on - make that little rewinding noise in your head while you do it). Cena tackles Punk to the floor, Punk puts him in full guard. Full guard is when you're beneath your opponent and have your opponent between your legs, basically. Does Michael Cole say, "Oh, look - a full guard"? No, he shits his pants and starts yelling, "ANACONDA VICE! ANACONDA VICE!" like someone who really likes 80s television but just can't pronounce "Miami". This isn't the first instance of this happening either. Basically, if CM Punk does anything, Cole's likely to label it an Anaconda Vice. It won't be long before Punk just walks to the ring and, well, "Left-legged Anaconda Vice! Right-legged Anaconda Vice! Left-legged Anaconda Vice! Right-legged Anaconda Vice! Punk means business tonight!"

So, fuck it, this is the hill I'm going to die on. In that brief period of time where you're not bickering worse than Coco the Monkey and Big Nick Dudley, call some moves, announcers, and call them correctly. Lesson number one: Anaconda Vice. Took me less than a minute to find a video of it on YouTube. Booker, how long have you been in the wrestling business and you don't know the difference between a sidewalk slam and spinebuster? Don't you teach people how to wrestle? Christ. Michael Cole, you've likely been in the wrestling business longer than I've been watching - what is your major malfunction? Josh Mathews, you're OK - I think we're yet to see if you know what an Anaconda Vice is. JR-- well, Jim, I'll be straight with you; Tastycles once said, "Was Jim Ross a great announcer or did he just yell wrestlers' names repeatedly?"

I'm having trouble remembering.

 

[Hollywood Naitch]

I agree with you, there is no fucking excuse for not knowing the names of the signiture moves of one of your top stars. Its not that hard to learn is it?! As a commentator, knowing the moves of the wrestlers, and calling them correctly is one of the major parts of the job- which is why Mike Adamle was so terrible.

I haven't seen CM Punk use the Anaconda Vice in quite a while, but as soon as he used it at MITB I knew exactly what it was, and my life and career doesn't revolve around wrestling like the commentators does. Very poor.

And Booker T used to use a spinebuster himself, how can he get the name mixed up with a sidewalk slam? What a tool.....

I know there are other major examples of commentators calling moves wrong but I can't think of any right now off the top of my head. It definitely something that bugs me though, I hope to God that one day we don't see John Cena hitting the AA on someone and it being called as a "Five Knuckle Shuffle".

Great thread though man, I 100% with you in that this is a problem that could be, and should be sorted out by the WWE. It's easy to resolve, but I bet they dont fucking bother.

 

[TWJC: The Beginning]

While I agree that it's annoying that they don't know the names of the moves, it's not as important as you're making it seem.

The Anaconda Vice thing is sort of a problem because it's a finish and they should sell that. However, it's more about storytelling than moves. They got most of the storytelling over, which is their main goal.

 

[Good Golly It's Ollie]

^ But TeeDubs, although I see where you're coming from, when you're talking about one of your top star's finishing maneuvers, it's a bit different. It's different than say, midcarder X doing a leglock to wear down the legs in the middle of a match.

I'm pretty sure that at Summerslam, this move was used by CM Punk attempting to win the WWE championship, and all Booker said was, 'Aww, here he got a key - that key lock locked in' or worse to that effect. I think it's extremely important.

Also, about the spelling - Wikipedia does list it as "vice"; "vise" is the/an acceptable/possible US spelling whereas "vice" is Commonwealth English. And since Commonwealth English is almost always closer to what the correct thing once was than US is, it's "vice".

I also think the names of moves will change over a given period of time - I wouldn't be surprised if in 20 years people are saying "Walls of Jericho" when they simply mean "Boston Crab". Hell, Cole will probably call the Texas Cloverleaf the Walls of Jericho. But there we go.

 

[TWJC: The Beginning]

^ But TeeDubs, although I see where you're coming from, when you're talking about one of your top star's finishing maneuvers, it's a bit different. It's different than say, midcarder X doing a leglock to wear down the legs in the middle of a match.

I'm pretty sure that at Summerslam, this move was used by CM Punk attempting to win the WWE championship, and all Booker said was, 'Aww, here he got a key - that key lock locked in' or worse to that effect. I think it's extremely important.

Also, about the spelling - Wikipedia does list it as "vice"; "vise" is the/an acceptable/possible US spelling whereas "vice" is Commonwealth English. And since Commonwealth English is almost always closer to what the correct thing once was than US is, it's "vice".

I also think the names of moves will change over a given period of time - I wouldn't be surprised if in 20 years people are saying "Walls of Jericho" when they simply mean "Boston Crab". Hell, Cole will probably call the Texas Cloverleaf the Walls of Jericho. But there we go.

O yea I agree, I thought I did say that it being his finish makes the mistake more glaring.

The spelling doesn't matter, no country that speaks english speaks anything close to "old english" try to read beowulf if you don't believe me.

I do agree that the names change. That's why Booker calls a spinebuster a sidewalk slam. It actually used to be called that. I remember them calling a spinebuster a sidewalk slam in 1995. I'm thinking it was only called a Spinebuster when Arn Anderson used it.

But yea, they DO need to call the finishers the correct name. However, I don't think it took away from the match to the average fan. All I'm saying is that yea it's a mistake that needs to be fixed, but it wasn't huge.

 

[The Dragon Saga]

Sam and I called it in the LD during SummerSlam. Sound of Madness even gave me some green for making the call. The fact that Booker T called it a "Key Lock", which isn't entirely incorrect as the Anaconda Vice is actually a variation of a triangle choke, believe they call it an arm-trap triangle choke or a forearm hold triangle choke, but a Key Lock is a fucking figure-4-armlock! Didn't Booker ever watch a Bret Hart match?

Sometimes I think they refrain from actually calling the manuever/submission due to whose shouting down their ear, and if he doesn't say the name of the move they usually don't know. Its like when Jerry Lawler screws up half the names of every move every Monday Night RAW. Sometimes I like to give him the benefit of the doubt due to how long hes been in the industry and a part of me refuses to believe that someone of his tenured career can actually forget half the names; but really another part of me knows that he can't tell shit apart.

Sometimes I miss Joey Styles. He used to call every move, correctly, everytime. He even used to refer to the Tazmission as the Kata-Ha-Jime; the fact he went and found out what the correct Jiu-Jitsu term when it was just a rear naked choke with a grapevine showed he cared.

 

[TWJC: The Beginning]

Sam and I called it in the LD during SummerSlam. Sound of Madness even gave me some green for making the call. The fact that Booker T called it a "Key Lock", which isn't entirely incorrect as the Anaconda Vice is actually a variation of a triangle choke, believe they call it an arm-trap triangle choke or a forearm hold triangle choke, but a Key Lock is a fucking figure-4-armlock! Didn't Booker ever watch a Bret Hart match?

Sometimes I think they refrain from actually calling the manuever/submission due to whose shouting down their ear, and if he doesn't say the name of the move they usually don't know. Its like when Jerry Lawler screws up half the names of every move every Monday Night RAW. Sometimes I like to give him the benefit of the doubt due to how long hes been in the industry and a part of me refuses to believe that someone of his tenured career can actually forget half the names; but really another part of me knows that he can't tell shit apart.

Sometimes I miss Joey Styles. He used to call every move, correctly, everytime. He even used to refer to the Tazmission as the Kata-Ha-Jime; the fact he went and found out what the correct Jiu-Jitsu term when it was just a rear naked choke with a grapevine showed he cared.

A keylock is any hold where you put your arm through an appendage and lock into your other arm. You can do this to an arm or a leg. It's a pretty generic term.

I don't put as much stock in "he knows the name of every move" just like I don't put much stock in "he does a lot of moves" to me that's really irrelevant. It's more about telling the story.

I do say that they need to know the names of the finishes and big moves because being able to get across the idea that it's an important move is a big deal.

 

[The Dragon Saga]

A keylock is any hold where you put your arm through an appendage and lock into your other arm. You can do this to an arm or a leg. It's a pretty generic term.

The keylock, (also known as the figure-four armlock, bent armlock, paintbrush, americana, or ude-garami/arm entanglement in Judo.) is a grappling technique using both of the practitioner’s arms isolate and to cause flexion to the shoulder, elbow, and to a lesser extent the wrist of the opponent. The technique is generally set in motion by the practitioner, using their same side hand, (i.e. to target the right hand he uses his own right hand) pinning the opponent's arm to the ground at the wrist, so that the elbow falls at a right angle with the palm facing upwards. Subsequently, the practitioner will thread his opposite hand under the opponent’s bicep, reach through and grasp his own wrist, doing so creates the signature “figure four,” from which one name for this technique was derived, this also gives the practitioner a mechanical advantage over the opponent.

To finish the submission the practitioner slides the wrist of the opponent toward the lower body, while simultaneously elevating the elbow and forearm, in a motion resembling using a paintbrush, creating opposition to the joints and causing the necessary flexion in the shoulder and elbow to cause significant pain, and damage if the opponent fails to submit. While it is feasible to execute this technique from several different positions, the most commonly utilized are the full mount and the side mount positions, most likely because these afford the greatest opportunity to isolate an opponent’s arm. This technique also has numerous variations with their own nomenclature, for instance depending on the rotational direction the arm, the addition of the word "reverse" signifying medial rotation as in reverse keylock or reverse ude-garami, in which case the usage of "keylock" indicates lateral rotation only.

You may want to contact the powers that be, who created the submission hold in an attempt to share your opinion. They're about fifty years dead though; good luck anyway.

I don't put as much stock in "he knows the name of every move" just like I don't put much stock in "he does a lot of moves" to me that's really irrelevant. It's more about telling the story.

It's a matter of personal preference. I'd prefer to watch something entertaining; whether it be a meeting between two technical wizards, submission specialists, high flyers, all-rounders or a meeting between two contrasting styles.

Thanks for sharing your opinion though.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Yes, I've noticed I used "Kofi Clutch" twice. It should read "Koji Clutch," as I hope you've gathered. Freudian slip.

While I agree that it's annoying that they don't know the names of the moves, it's not as important as you're making it seem.

The Anaconda Vice thing is sort of a problem because it's a finish and they should sell that. However, it's more about storytelling than moves. They got most of the storytelling over, which is their main goal.

A week ago I'd have likely agreed with you. After the double whammy that was the SummerSlam and Money in the Bank, combined with years of it eating away at me, I've finally had enough. When you can't properly call the finish to the main event of a pay-per-view and you're in the premier professional wrestling organisation in the world, there's a problem.

I disagree with you about them getting most of the storytelling over in SummerSlam and Money in the Bank. At best, they came over as hugely biased CeNation members who couldn't tell a Sharpshooter from a Moonsault. Oh, and the black one's audibly having the world's longest aneurysm.

The announcers are there to tell a story, yes, but analysis of the match - and therefore the moves - are an important part of that. Booker T calling a suplex a DDT or whatever (and that's the least of his problems), it takes me out of the match. When Michael Cole apes Vince McMahon with "What a maneuver!", it takes me out of the match. When Jerry Lawler starts prattling on about what a cunt Michael Cole is - or vice versa - it takes me out of the match.

As of right now, commentary is a mess. Announcers are swapped like pogs. They bicker amongst themselves rather than call the match. They sell the story awkwardly or not at all. They put over heels when they're supposed to put over faces. Booker T. When they do call a move, it's wrong 50% of the time.

Rather than being part and parcel of the match, commentators are now a separate entity. A deformed circus freak of an entity.

 

[This Is My Name Thank You]

I don't know, as I understand how telling a story matters but its telling a story with wrong move being called really isn't that good. It changes the story in general and its sad when Orton does a simple Powerslam and Cole calls it a Scoop Slam. An Zeke doing 3 Scoop Slams is now " Wow those SLAMS right there are working the back of that guy right there" Booker just calls Scoop Slams SLAMS NOW!!!!!! Really, so when somone asks you hey "whats that move called" were gonna say its called The SLAM!!!!

And now when I watch UFC and I see full gaurd I'm gonna say wait no Micheal Cole told me this is the ANDACONDA VICE!!!!

The E has gotten lazy with caring on the moves preformed in the ring. An for Punks sumbmission which is the most legit finisher via submission should be called right. They don't fuck up Cenas move set even though he has a hole 5. Orton is getting there to now

So yes it matters because what if we something new and the announcers call it something so different? As in Punk when he applies his Andaconda Vice its just "submission hold apllied, will Cena tap" COME ON COLE!!!!

 

[Ming]

I noticed this also, both at Money in the Bank and at Summerslam and both times I face-palmed, and I never normally face-palm. Seriously, the commentary is so bad now that it's not even funny any more. I think I could do a better job than Booker, that's just how bad I think he really is. He once called an Alabama Slam a Side-walk Slam, just how in the BLUE FUCK do you get that mixed up!? I can only hope he missed it and gave a bad guess as to which move it was.

It's not like they even try to call the match unless it's a big deal (well, JR tries and I emphasize tries because he usually gets talked over by Cole and has very little input). I don't think the commentary has ever been this bad, ever. The Anaconda Vice is one of my favourite submission moves so you can imagine I was more unhappy with this particular failure.

I'd say the best commentary team today is Jack Korpela and Scott Stanford. That's right Scott fucking Stanford, and I'm not even one of those "broskis" but I know he calls a match better than Cole, Lawler, Booker and Mathews (Mathews isn't as bad as Cole, Booker and Lawler but he usually initiates their fucking debate). That's another thing, they sound like children arguing for their favourite wrestlers when they actually attempt to debate, I still hope every match that Cole can get over calling Daniel Bryan a "nerd" but it's futile.

 

[Caitiff]

Sometimes I miss Joey Styles. He used to call every move, correctly, everytime. He even used to refer to the Tazmission as the Kata-Ha-Jime; the fact he went and found out what the correct Jiu-Jitsu term when it was just a rear naked choke with a grapevine showed he cared.

That's not exactly true. Not once, in his entire career, did he ever call a Huracanrana correctly. He gave it a completely different generic name, if it was being used by (insert person here). Note that I have no problem with his refering to the move as the Heinekin-rana, when performed by The Sandman, whose entire character was based around alcoholism.

But, seriously, I can't think of a single time when he actually called that particular move correctly. Ever.

Also, I highly doubt that Joey Styles went out of his way to do that research on the correct Judo names for the Kata-Hajime or the Juji-gatame. I'm not saying that Styles is lazy. But, he did have the benefit of having Taz, who trains in Judo, there to tell him the names of the holds. And, having that source made the research unnecessary.

 

[cm ben]

Sam, you don't know me, but I love you. You make me laugh and laugh, and also, most of the time, I agree with you.

I was in attendance at Money in the Bank in Chicago. I was in the nosebleeds, I was about as drunk as a human can be without either dying or puking, I had a little kid bellowing in my ear like a foghorn "beeeeeewwwwwww!!!! beeeeeewwwwwwww!!" anytime CM Punk looked like he might win--but I STILL knew when he slapped on the Anaconda Vice. Like, immediately! Me and dudes around me high-fived.

When I got home, I was trying to decide if watching the televised version would be a good idea--I had a great time at the live event (people are still talking about how epic the crowd was...) and I didn't want to screw up my memory of it, as weird as that sounds. I couldn't help myself, though, and went to youtube to start watching... and turned it off. The commentators just couldn't keep up with the pace of the evening or something. They detracted, rather than enhanced the storylines and the matches.

Stuff like this totally matters. Wrestling's sort of an embarrassing, out-dated thing to be a fan of; what does it say to me, as a loyal fan, if even the commentators aren't following it? Knowing what an Anaconda Vice is should be second nature to the commentators; realizing when the WWE Title might switch hands should be important to the commentators; uh, having good commentary should be a priority to Vince, I guess.

I don't watch Superstars much, but Scott Stanford seems to know his moves, and calls matches like a legit sports commentator. I'd like to see him move up.

 

[MeerPat]

Vice

1. an immoral or evil habit or practice. Synonyms: fault, failing, foible, weakness. Antonyms: virtue.

2. immoral conduct; depraved or degrading behavior: a life of vice. Synonyms: depravity, sin, iniquity, wickedness, corruption. Antonyms: virtue, morality.

3. sexual immorality, especially prostitution. Synonyms: wantonness, degeneracy, licentiousness.

4. a particular form of depravity.

5. a fault, defect, or shortcoming: a minor vice in his literary style. Synonyms: flaw, blemish, imperfection, foible, weakness.


Vise

noun
1. any of various devices, usually having two jaws that may be brought together or separated by means of a screw, lever, or the like, used to hold an object firmly while work is being done on it.

verb (used with object)
2. to hold, press, or squeeze with or as with a vise.


This is why it is Anaconda Vise. Nothing to do with old English or anything

 

[H33LTurn]

Didnt you just say Kofi clutch twice before you said Koji clutch? Did you also do it on a rant aimed at announcers not calling things properly?

Booker, how long have you been in the wrestling business and you don't know the difference between a sidewalk slam and spinebuster? Don't you teach people how to wrestle? Christ. Michael Cole, you've likely been in the wrestling business longer than I've been watching - what is your major malfunction? Josh Mathews, you're OK - I think we're yet to see if you know what an Anaconda Vice is. JR-- well, Jim, I'll be straight with you; Tastycles once said, "Was Jim Ross a great announcer or did he just yell wrestlers' names repeatedly?"

Booker teaches people how to wrestle. He knows the difference between moves but this is his first rodeo as announcer so I'm cutting him a break. I'm not a real big fan of his announcing, but I understand the problem. You criticized Cole earlier even though he called the Anaconda Vice correctly at MITB. I dont see the problem. Just because JR yelled Stone Cold and Punk wins on two separate occasions it doesnt mean his entire career has been full of yelling superstars names. Unless you've been watching for the past 3 years then you wouldnt know that I guess.

No one said these guys dont know what the Anaconda Vice is. Cole called it at MITB and the announcing probably didnt call for it at Summerslam. Not every move gets called during announcing and the Anaconda Vice has pretty much just been a PPV "finisher". Punks true sig is the arm and then the GTS. Its not a big deal.

 

[The Dragon Saga]

That's not exactly true. Not once, in his entire career, did he ever call a Huracanrana correctly. He gave it a completely different generic name, if it was being used by (insert person here). Note that I have no problem with his refering to the move as the Heinekin-rana, when performed by The Sandman, whose entire character was based around alcoholism.

But, seriously, I can't think of a single time when he actually called that particular move correctly. Ever.

Also, I highly doubt that Joey Styles went out of his way to do that research on the correct Judo names for the Kata-Hajime or the Juji-gatame. I'm not saying that Styles is lazy. But, he did have the benefit of having Taz, who trains in Judo, there to tell him the names of the holds. And, having that source made the research unnecessary.

I've got a few of the bouts between Psychosis and Rey Mysterio in my cabinet, I may just watch them and see if you're correct. Also, Heinekin-rana is listed as a signature manuever of The Sandman's so I'd imagine he could have improvised the name for it. The Hurracanrana is actually named after another wrestler, hence why so many people improvise the name according to Scott Steiner.

And, if you ever watch the Forever Hardcore DVD when the former ECW alumni speak on Styles commentating and how he did it, they mention how he would research any new move he saw in the ring to find out their origins and what not. Shane Douglas makes the Tazmission comment I think.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Vice

1. an immoral or evil habit or practice. Synonyms: fault, failing, foible, weakness. Antonyms: virtue.

2. immoral conduct; depraved or degrading behavior: a life of vice. Synonyms: depravity, sin, iniquity, wickedness, corruption. Antonyms: virtue, morality.

I've often felt the name was probably a play on this.

Didnt you just say Kofi clutch twice before you said Koji clutch? Did you also do it on a rant aimed at announcers not calling things properly?

Well, if we're going to be pedantic:

I don't have a problem [with them] not knowing what a Koji Clutch is called

By your logic wherein I hold myself up to the same standards as I do professional commentators, there's a handy loophole, uh?

No one said these guys dont know what the Anaconda Vice is.

I did. I mean, if Cole knew what it was, why on Earth would he mistake a full guard for an Anaconda Vice? It's not like a slip of the tongue - he was screaming it at the top of his lungs.

You claim that he eventually called it correctly at Money in the Bank. I'm not so sure he did. If he did, I suspect it's simply because a broken clock is right twice a day.

Punks true sig is the arm and then the GTS. Its not a big deal.

In and of itself, it's not that big a deal. Well, it kind of is. When your announcers don't know what the move's called that could potentially end the main event of SummerSlam, that's a problem. But it's representative of a bigger problem - the incredible complacency that's taken root behind the announce table.

 

[H33LTurn]

I did. I mean, if Cole knew what it was, why on Earth would he mistake a full guard for an Anaconda Vice? It's not like a slip of the tongue - he was screaming it at the top of his lungs.

When I looked up full guard, this came up http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c5/Closed_guard346.jpg. I dont seem to recall Cole calling that an Anaconda Vice.

You claim that he eventually called it correctly at Money in the Bank. I'm not so sure he did. If he did, I suspect it's simply because a broken clock is right twice a day.

No, he did it simply because he knows what it is. Theres no getting around it. Cole fucks up a lot, which is why I'm not shy to give him credit when he does actually get things right.

In and of itself, it's not that big a deal. Well, it kind of is. When your announcers don't know what the move's called that could potentially end the main event of SummerSlam, that's a problem. But it's representative of a bigger problem - the incredible complacency that's taken root behind the announce table.

They know what the move is called, but at the moment Punk did it at SS it wasnt a key moment. Its one of his favorite moves, but its not a tide turner. If they forgot to mention it at Summerslam then thats just it, it was one moment out of so many other chances they'll get to mention the move again. I remember hearing an awkward silence when he did the move, kind of like when baseball announcers press the cough button to say a joke. Who knows what happened but I'm not going to assume that the announcers dont know a move that they've seen two ppvs in a row.

 

[Daniel]

It's really annoying. I have been known to shout at my computer screen during a variety of WWE events at the horrible announcing which has taken place. Whether it's Michael Cole calling the Anaconda Vice incorrectly, or Michael Cole criticising wrestler's legitimate flaws (repeatedly calling DH Smith "boring", for example), or Michael Cole trying to get himself over at the expense of the wrestlers. It all angers me. If you haven't picked up on it, I think Michael Cole is a bellend (Twitter hashtag: #michaelcoleisabellend. Get it trending, please).

However, I know why the announcers sometimes (OK, frequently) call moves incorrectly. It's the same reason people give moronic answers on The Weakest Link: pressure. As a commentator in WWE, you're constantly under pressure. You've got Vince McMahon yelling in your ear (unless, of course, you're Jerry Lawler. In which case, McMahon will treat you with kid gloves because he doesn't want you to leave WWE with your increasingly shoddy announcing). You're broadcasting to millions of WWE fans around the world. You've got the lights, the cameras, and the action right in front of you. If I was in that position, I would in all likelihood have a nervous breakdown.

But is this an excuse? No. They should really be used to it by now. None of them are new to it. Hell, the newest guy is also the most consistent: Josh Mathews.

 

[Nate DaMac]

Totally with you here, Samuel. So much emphasis seems to be on Cole's shortcomings but if we're being fair here, the only announcer who has really shown any consistent competence is Josh Matthews. When you have "legendary" announcers like J.R. and Lawler and someone who teaches wrestling like Booker T, that's just unacceptable. Your life revolves around wrestling, knowing the names of wrestling moves is part of your fucking job. If a bunch of us nerds who are just watching the product know it better than the people who are paid to know, why do you have a job?

TWJC brought up an interesting point and it's a view I understand to an extent. In the big time matches, they can usually hide their incompetence and put the story of the match over. That doesn't excuse the shit they do during the under-card matches though. I know that if I was Daniel Bryan I would want to rip Cole's throat out. I can't recall the last time I truly enjoyed a match with Rhodes, Miz, ADR, or DB as much as I should because the knob-slobbing takes me out of it. That's not putting over the story, that's putting over themselves.

 

[NthDegree23]

I remember the first Raw when Punk used the koji clutch and Cole shouted, "Anaconda vice!" the entire time. That was irritating, but then there was a page in WWE Magazine where someone (I think Cena) had Punk in an electric chair and the caption read, "Punk locks in the anaconda vice." WTFITS?

And I'd heard that the announcers aren't supposed to call moves, which, to me, is a confusing spit in the face of the technique and talent some of the wrestlers possess. Nowadays, the announcers just call them incorrectly. Miz did a snapemare driver at Summerslam and FRIGGIN' JERRY LAWLER said it look like some kind of variation on a DDT. I don't expect him to know the term "snapemare driver," but at least mention something comparable. I don't even... I mean, you could justify it as a variation of an ace crusher (they'd say RKO), or a neckbreaker. DDT doesn't even enter the equation. I feel like the young wrestling fans won't be able to identify headlocks by 2015.

 

[The Dragon Saga]

They know what the move is called, but at the moment Punk did it at SS it wasnt a key moment. Its one of his favorite moves, but its not a tide turner.

So taking your logic and isolating it, if John Cena were to hit the Attitude Adjustment somewhere in the middle, which would bring the fans to give out a loud cheers and the commentators to talk in a more rapid and expectant tone which they did at SummerSlam when CM Punk transitioned the move.

Michael Cole or Booker T 'ought to forget the AA and just call it the "Variation of a Death Valley Driver"? Because if it gains the same reaction as Punk's transition into the Anaconda Vice, then its not as much of a tide-turner as that.

 

[onewayleeway69]

coles just a fuck up in general it really annoys me when he calls randy ortans power slam a scoop slam.Its a power SLAM FFS not a scoop slam lol

 

[610kr3w]

Matt Striker was honestly the best play by play announce they've used recently. He knew all of the correct names and if he didn't know it, he didn't use it. The announcers will plug the first 5 minutes or the main event of RAW/SD/PPVs for practically the whole show and they completely lose sight of mid card matches. If they're barely calling the matches as they're happening, why even bother talking about them at all? It's not as if we really NEED the announce teams. I mean the match is right in front of you. Unless you're blind, do you really need play by play? One more thing I don't understand is the TV monitors on the tables. Are they seriously watching the match on there? There are times when a superstar will make a run-in and they won't acknowledge it until WE see it on TV. Seeing as how they FACE the ramp, why act so shocked when someone "comes out of nowhere?" And for the record, the move that Ezekiel Jackson does connnstantly, THATS a scoop slam. Randy Orton's is a variation of a powerslam. The British Bulldog's on-the-shoulder slam is actually the Oklahoma Slam.

 

[Uncle Sam]

When I looked up full guard, this came up http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c5/Closed_guard346.jpg. I dont seem to recall Cole calling that an Anaconda Vice.

I'm no MMA expert, but this is the first Google Images result when you type in "full guard" (no hyperlinking allowed, apparently): http://www.flickr.com/photos/21693164@N06/2288645977/

That's the position they were in and Cole did call it an Anaconda Vice. Dave Meltzer even mentioned it in his report on the show. That Cole's called that, the Koji Clutch and anything involving Punk being on the floor an Anaconda Vice pretty much disproves this:

No, he did it simply because he knows what it is.

They know what the move is called, but at the moment Punk did it at SS it wasnt a key moment.

Firstly, it was a key moment - it was a potential finish. Secondly, Booker T explicitly called it a Key Lock. Thirdly, the other two didn't even attempt to correct him.

Who knows what happened but I'm not going to assume that the announcers dont know a move that they've seen two ppvs in a row.

I'll gladly assume it, the fact that they had a month to learn from their mistake making it even more pathetic, and continue to complain that they don't revere a wrestler's signature move enough to call it by its correct name.