Superstars of Wrestling with KB

[klunderbunker]

Superstars. Now I know some of you likely watch this today, but it should be known that this is far from the original. Back in the 80s, national television was a very new concept for wrestling and prime time was just flat out not a possibility. WWF had a show called Superstars of Wrestling, which depending on where you lived aired sometime on the weekends, usually Saturday/Sunday mornings.

This was the equivalent of Raw back in the day. EVERYTHING worth anything happened on this show, until Raw was introduced in January of 93. I’ve been lucky enough to get my hands on twelve episodes in order from 1987, beginning in the opening of the year and ending on the day before a show you might have heard of called Wrestlemania III. Let’s get to it, as I’ve never seen these before so this is ALL new territory for me.

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: January 10, 1987
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino

So we’re obviously on the Road to Wrestlemania. As far as I know, nothing is set for it yet as it’s about two and a half months away at this point. If my math is right, we might even get the origins of Savage vs. Steamboat soon enough. I’m drooling over this so let’s get to it.

Vince runs down the card and it’s sweet 80s goodness. Ok so the card sounds awful but this is epic sounding to someone like me. Yes I’m a total mark for this stuff.

Junkyard Dog/Billy Jack Haynes/George Steele vs. Mike Wuska/Tim Patterson/Frenchy Martin

Remember what I said about this being awesome? Maybe I was wrong. Haynes and Martin start us off. You might know Martin as Dino Bravo’s manager in about a year or so. Fink cuts off the announcers with a voiceover announcing a house show in Maine. My guess would be that’s where this TV station broadcasting it was.

That was a common thing back in the day as there were multiple house show tours back in the day much like today. Hogan vs. Savage would headline the A circuit while Steamboat vs. Roberts would be on the B circuit. Not bad either way. After about 100 slams Dog pins Wuska. This might have gone a minute.

Rating: N/A. The announcement of the house show went longer than the rest of the match. Steele and Dog were over as hell though so it makes sense.

We get an UPDATE with Gene. He talks about Paul Orndorff, who is fresh off an ungodly run with Hogan where he, the lower name of the match, was making twenty thousand dollars a week in the mid 80s. How scary is that? Heenan, his manager says that Paul is awesome. Paul says that he really is wonderful.

Honky Tonk Man is allegedly near Graceland and says he needs a bigger property. He wants to call it Honky Land. Oh my.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. British Bulldogs

The Dogs are the champions here so we HAVE to be close to the Harts taking the titles from them. I hope some idiot chants USA in this match. Vince says he wouldn’t mind going out with Matilda. That would be the dog that is the champion’s mascot. Slick cheats immediately to give the advantage to the heels. Danny Davis, the heel referee, is in there.

Keep him in mind in the coming weeks as he’ll play a big role soon. Smith’s power was straight up scary at times. For those of you that haven’t seen Dynamite, think Benoit with a British accent. Slick cheats again and Matilda chases him off. And that gives the heels the win on a DQ? Oh that’s right: Davis is cheating for the heels. Forgot about that even though I just said it.

Rating: N/A. Again not enough here to give it a fair grade. This was ALL storyline and Volkoff and Sheik could have been any two guys. I won’t spoil why, but Davis is going to be getting a lot of air time very soon. It was a nice angle if nothing else.

Piper’s Pit

RANDY SAVAGE IS THE GUEST!!! Savage and Piper in 1987 trading insults. I don’t know what to say. HOW did this feud never happen? I don’t get that one AT ALL. Savage pulls out a Ricky Steamboat figure. Savage has apparently already messed up Steamboat’s throat.

I think Piper is still borderline heel here. He’s feuding with Adonis already, which was an awesome feud that gets no credit which is sad. Steamboat is back next week apparently and Savage LOSES IT as Piper leaves. Sweet little segment.

Alex Knight vs. Hercules

Knight was a jobber in the AWA I think. Not sure though. Hercules was a freaking monster at this point and was on a collision course with Haynes. Yeah I don’t care either. Fink gives another announcement about the Maine house show listed earlier. Hercules has a bit of an afro going on there too. A torture rack ends it with ease.

Rating: N/A. I’m not sure if this was a minute long. It was a different time back then where this was very common.

Jesse is with Bobby Heenan and asks him why he wanted Andre unsuspended. Oh freaking YES! Heenan goes on about Hercules and Jesse is confused. Apparently it’s Heenan ducking the subject.

Some guy that I have no idea as to who he is talks about a Boston house show. Savage vs. Sammartino for the IC Title in a lumberjack match. Savage yells A LOT in his greatness.

We go down to Texas and hear about the Blackjacks. Blackjack Mulligan is coming back apparently. Yeah this was stupid.

Jake Roberts vs. Billy Anderson

Anderson gets a pop so I’m guessing hometown guy. Roberts is a heel here still but not for much longer at all. Davis is refereeing here again and is still evil. In a reference I can’t believe I’ve never gotten before, Jake talks about comparing Hogan’s arms, the Pythons, to his python. They didn’t run that feud as they tried it at a taping and Roberts got cheered. There we go. DDT ends it in like a minute of course.

Rating: N/A. This was of course just to get Jake over and it worked just fine. He was so far ahead of his time its unheard of.

Same guy talks about the same house show. Steamboat, with a raspy voice, says he’s glad to be back to action there.

We get a musical tribute to the bad boys of the WWF. Uh sure.

Jack Kruger/Kevin Collins vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers

The brothers are faces here. JUMPING BACK ELBOW! The Rougeaus wish us a happy new year. Nothing wrong with that I guess. Their standard finisher ends it. This was the shortest match yet.

Rating: N/A. It would pass because I like the Rougeaus to a certain extent.

We get a promo for Outback (Championship Wrestling!!!) Jack. The less you know here the better. In short, they hyped this guy all the way to hell and back, spending all kinds of money on his promos. There’s a reason you’ve never heard of him: he sucked. Like A LOT.

Butch Reed vs. Reggie Parks

Please…be quick. Jesse says next week he’ll talk to Andre. Good thing I have that one too. We’re at maybe two minutes now and it’s the longest match of the night by far. This whole thing is about Heenan and Andre here. Reed wins and isn’t acknowledged for 10 seconds afterwards. The idea is that Andre was suspended at Heenan’s insistence and now he’s back and Heenan is insane over it.

Rating: N/A. Longer but still nothing to speak of. Reed would somehow almost become a Horseman.

The Can-Am Connection arrives and girls attack them. Jesse is stunned.

Boston announcement #3. The guest this time is Bruno. The idea was that these were taped all in one long run. They would tape about 30-40 promos in a row, so this is about number 20 or so that Bruno has had to make. You would say one for every city they were going to hit and just plug in the right clip for the right market.

A lot of guys hated doing this, with one guy that I can’t remember at the moment literally losing his job because he walked out of them once. It might have been Ole Anderson. He says if he wins the IC Title Saturday he’ll vacate it and we’ll get a tournament.

We get a list of the matches next week and there’s not much special but Steamboat will be back! That ends the show.

Rating: B-. Now before X jumps down my damn throat over this, keep a few things in mind. First of all, this was 45 minutes long not counting commercials. This wasn’t supposed to be some big and epic show and it wasn’t. This was planting seeds for Mania and it did that very well indeed. We continued the Andre/Heenan issue as well as the Savage/Steamboat thing.

This wasn’t supposed to be an epic episode or anything but it did the job well. Also, Savage was on Piper’s Pit. I think that speaks for itself. I mean seriously, LOOK at how much was packed into this. Six matches, Honky, Can Am, Savage, Steamboat and Sammartino all got to talk and we advanced the two top stories. That's DAMN impressive.

 

[klunderbunker]

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: January 17, 1987
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino

So we’re back and tonight we have the return of Ricky Steamboat. Also allegedly we’ll hear from Andre about what he’s been up to lately, which is pretty damn historic I’d say. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is very 80s so I’m loving it. We hear the list of stars that are going to be squashing jobbers tonight.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Barry O

The O stands for Orton as he’s Randy’s uncle and Bob’s brother. Gee, I wonder who’s going to win here. Fink gives us the same voiceover talking about the house show in Maine. Steamboat is working the arm but can’t do that one arm press into the air that he liked to do. Savage does an inset interview, saying he’s not watching tonight. Steamboat is just MAD over here. There was no freaking way Steamboat vs. Savage wasn’t going to blow the roof off the fucking place. High crossbody ends it.

Rating: C+. Considering they had like two minutes, this was surprisingly decent. Not sure why but I liked this for some reason. Dragon is always solid and they let him be in a bit of trouble here which added a lot to the match. I liked this for some reason so there you are.

UPDATE!

We see the end of Harley Race vs. Billy Jack Haynes for no apparent reason. He gets the full nelson on Heenan, leading to an interview with Heenan who says he’s got someone in store for Haynes.

George Steele flips through WWF Magazine and then freaks when Savage is on the cover.

Kamala vs. Don Diggers

Something tells me this isn’t going to be very competitive. Kamala was a guy that legit scared the hell out of me back in the day. Splash and top rope splash ends this in less than 20 seconds.

Rating: N/A. What else did you expect here?

We hear promos for the same big Boston show as we heard last week. Sammartino says he’ll win the IC Title and vacate it.

The jobber gets taken out on a stretcher.

Race says he’s the king of wrestling.

JYD says he’ll never bow.

Hey, did you know there was a show in Boston? Ray Rougeau says they’re ready for the Harts.

Outback Jack is still coming and he’s bringing his pet bull. Ok then.

Mario Mancini/Salvatore Bellomo vs. Demolition

This is when Johnny V is managing the team and this is their debut. Now at this time, Smash wasn’t the same man. His name is Randy Colley and he would be better known as one of the Moondogs. Johnny V talks about how awesome his teams are. The standard finisher ends it.

Rating: N/A. I love bits of history like this. Always cool to see a big team like this debut, at least kind of.

Piper’s Pit

There’s a big trophy. This is it! Jack Tunney is brought out and reads the trophy, which is talking about how Hogan has been champion for three years now. In a great example of issues with canned heat, the crowd is shown exploding but the sound isn’t that great.

Actually that's’ backwards but you get the idea. Hogan’s best friend Andre comes out and says that three years to be a champion is a long time. We don’t get the rest of the story yet, but it’s coming. Sweet damn this angle was well done. It was so simple too.

Jim Parks vs. Hercules

Jesse immediately wants to talk about Piper’s Pit. Damn I’m loving this already. It’s amazing to hear the little lines in there and know what’s coming from them. Hercules debuts his full nelson and lays the seeds for Haynes vs. Hercules at Mania. Heenan calls out Billy Jack Haynes and here he is. He volunteers to be put in the hold but goes after Heenan again. Haynes gets beaten up of course. This was all on Mania 3 as the buildup package for the match.

Rating: N/A. Nothing but a vehicle to get the match set up and that’s fine.

Terry Gibbs/Mike Sharpe vs. Killer Bees

Gibbs was actually given a push around this time. See why I have to explain this to you? Yeah it didn’t work. Vince doesn’t like Danny Davis. The Bees wore masks at this time so you had no idea who was who. It was an interesting idea as that’s usually a heel thing but it’s switched here. The Hart Foundation say they can beat the bees. According to Bret they wrestled about 500 times over the years so I’d hope once or twice the Harts beat them in there.

We actually get a mention about Wrestlemania. Always cool to hear. In a nice spot, one of the Bees gets an abdominal stretch into a rollup but Davis says he didn’t see a tag, even though it was the same guy in the ring the whole time. They rip the masks off and get a regular pin. I like that.

Rating: C-. Boring squash, but it made Davis seem even more evil. He was getting great heat if nothing else. This was the longest match in Superstars for me so far.

The Harts talk about dissecting a frog for no apparent reason to talk about beating up the Rougeaus. Most odd indeed.

Savage does his usual crazy sounding promo.

We run down next week’s appearances and we’re out.

Overall Rating: C+. They went far more towards setting things up here and I liked what I saw. You have to remember that this was a very different time in wrestling so all squashes was the natural thing. The big matches were saved for major house shows which were the primary source of revenue for the company.

This was all about planting seeds for Mania and it worked very well I thought. I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes, so well done indeed. Also seeing something historic like Demolition debuting is always cool.

 

[pyrusane]

KB, I love all of your reviews, but this set you are reviewing right now is very special to me, indeed. The reason being that these shows you are reviewing right now form the beginning of my wrestling experiences. This was the time frame when I became a fan of wrestling, so reliving some of the very first shows I saw as a child through these reviews is an awesome experience. Thank you.

Let me see if I can help explain one thing for you:

The Harts talk about dissecting a frog for no apparent reason to talk about beating up the Rougeaus. Most odd indeed..

The Rougeaus were a "French" tag team. Frog is a derogatory word for a Frenchman, kind of like a racial slur. It's like calling a Hispanic person a spic or an Irish person a mick or anything like that...detestable, but sound heel strategy for the time frame you're looking at. It really is remarkable how much was allowable back in the 80s. Nudity and cursing were watched like hawks by the censors, but racial slurs were thrown around left and right on television. Very odd, indeed...

Look forward to seeing you continue this walk down memory lane m'man...

 

[klunderbunker]

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: January 24, 1987
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Bruno Sammartino

If you’re not sure what’s going on here, just check out the other two reviews as it’s just the next week of stuff. Hogan vs. Andre is of course about to explode and we’re closing in on Mania III so this is an historic time to put it mildly.

Jimmy has on a David Bowie from Labyrinth wig here and it somehow works. You know you’re over when you can pull that shit off. It gets an amusing look from Vince if nothing else.

Cue theme song. They run down the card and we’re ready to go.

Paul Roma vs. Paul Orndorff

Orndorff is still using Hogan’s music which is just awesome. Someone should bring that back. I need to do the two SNMEs in this stretch of Superstars I think. Roma is a total jobber here so at least some things never change. How in the world did he become a Horseman? I just do not get that.

Heenan says Orndorff is great and should be world champion. That feud was over if nothing else. They had the cage match two weeks ago so there we are. Fink does his usual voiceover. They should use him a lot more often just for his voice alone. Piledriver and it’s academic.

Rating: N/A. Just a squash over slightly tougher than usual competition but nothing special at all. Orndorff would go on to…well to do nothing of note really. He would fire Heenan again and turn face by November but until then there was nothing to talk about with him.

UPDATE with Mean Gene!

We’re focusing on Bundy and Kamala here for no apparent reason. Kamala’s splashes were cool looking if nothing else as his jumping was underrated. Apparently they don’t like each other. Bundy says he doesn’t like Kamala.

Steve Lombardi vs. Koko B. Ware

LET THE JOBBERS EXPLODE! Lombardi would become the Brooklyn Brawler soon enough. He beats up Roma who is still there after getting beaten down. That’s probably his biggest accomplishment of the decade. Fink does another voiceover and advertises Special Delivery Jones.

DAMN that card must have sucked. Lombardi hits a decent spinning neckbreaker. Not bad at all. Koko has a muscle shirt on which looks very odd on him. The darker skinned jobber takes over and looks completely stupid. Lombardi is tough apparently. Koko hits the missile dropkick after WAY too long of an amount of time on offense to get the win.

Rating: C-. Longer match here but not terrible I guess. It’s fine for what it was is a good way to put this. The fans seemed to boo the ending though which is rather odd to say the least. Boring stuff but not terrible at all.

We have to get to this Boston show so I don’t have to hear about it anymore. Steamboat says he’ll be a lumberjack and wants Savage. Oh he’ll get him eventually and it’s awesome to put it mildly.

Random Mania 3 on March 29 graphic. Ok then.

We see Lombardi beat up Roma again for no apparent reason. Lombardi calls out Roma. Please don’t tell me we’re getting a feud out of this.

Don Muraco/Bob Orton vs. Can-Am Connection

This would eventually open Mania III. I’ve always liked that one so this should be at least good too. They start immediately which is fun. Danny Davis is the referee here. Fink does his third voiceover of the night. Damn he’s getting paid tonight. We have Martel vs. Orton here. The Connection was good but I’ll take Strike Force any day. Fuji calls out the Connection in an inset interview. Speed vs. what you could call power I guess is always fun.

Zenk was good but his attitude was absurd. This isn’t as good as Mania would be but it’s ok for what it is. Also that’s what a show like this is for: polishing for the major show which I’d certainly say Mania was. You know, just the biggest card of all time. It’s a big brawl and they throw it out. Solid until then I guess.

Rating: C-. Not bad for what it was. It’s rare enough to see four big names in a match here but this worked fine. The Connection was a good team and the heels were always good for a quick one. Decent enough.

We talk about the show on the 7th again as even I kind of want to see it now. Billy Jack Haynes says that’s hard to understand. His hat is just comical as he looks like a damn Pilgrim. He even drops the Hernandez line. I see why he didn’t get to talk that much.

Outback Jack is STILL coming.

Tom Sharpe vs. Randy Savage

Any bets here? I wonder if Tom is related to Mike. Damn Vince wanted Liz BAD. Granted who didn’t? Savage hits the axehandle inside of 10 seconds and Sharpe is in the crowd. Savage is just going off here. Elbow hits and we’re done in 20 seconds. Savage never took his glasses off. That’s cool.

Rating: N/A. About what I expected. Ventura says Savage is his favorite wrestler. That’s saying a lot.

Piper’s Pit

He brings out Jack Tunney who has a trophy presentation, in this case for Andre the Giant for being undefeated (not quite) for 15 years. His trophy isn’t as big as Hogan’s was for being world champion for three years. Andre has a legit complaint here I’d say. Andre says he has something to say and Hogan runs out to steal the spotlight. There’s your match being planted right there. Andre is clearly annoyed here and he walks off. Say it with me: uh oh. Piper isn’t happy either.

We go to the Heartbreak Hotel Restaurant with Honky Tonk Man. He had perhaps the first fan influenced heel turn ever. He debuted as a face and no one bought it. They set up an address to send in cards and letters where you could say whether you supported him or not. The overwhelming result was NO so he was turned heel. Don’t think that’s been done since.

Hart Foundation vs. Scott McGee/Tony Garea

Hey it’s already longer than the Savage match! The stands look a bit empty. Matilda barks at the Harts in a pointless moment. The Bulldogs would defend against the Harts very soon, perhaps next week. Fink does his thing. I wonder if there’s commentary at that point. It amazes me how Hart is still around 23 years later. Scary thing: Flair has 7 years on him without much of a break. That’s just terrifying. Hart Attack ends it.

Rating: N/A. Just a squash to get the Harts ready for the Bulldogs. Nothing special really but the Harts are the textbook definition of how to work a power/speed tag team.

Mania III is still on March 29.

Gladiator/Jimmy Jack Funk/Ron Bass vs. Dan Spivey/Mike Rotundo/Blackjack Mulligan

Well that’s a team for you. On an interesting note, Mulligan is the father of the man that Spivey replaced in the US Express: Barry Windham. Not sure if there’s a point to this or not but whatever. Jesse says his report on Andre and Hogan is coming next week on Piper’s Pit.

You have no idea how awesome this sounds to me. Ron Bass doesn’t like Mulligan. Yeah this went nowhere thank goodness. This is mainly about Vince arguing with Ventura so it’s more or less awesome. I have no idea who the Gladiator is but Mulligan pins him.

Rating: N/A. I have no idea what the point here was but I’m assuming Mulligan vs. Bass which makes little sense. Whatever though. It filled in time which I would guess was the bigger idea.

More on the Boston show as Savage says he’s not afraid of Sammartino. This of course takes minute or two.

We talk about next week’s lineup and that’s it.

Overall Rating: D. Pretty weak this week other than the Hogan/Andre furthering. The matches were a bit longer this week though which helps a bit. Not great but not terrible I guess. If you like the 80s you’ll like it but newer fans would be bored. To be fair though they’re 45 minutes long without commercials so you can’t complain that much. Weakest of the three so far though.

 

[klunderbunker]

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: January 31, 1987
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Bruno Sammartino, Vince McMahon

So tonight we get the findings of one Jesse Ventura on what’s going on with Andre and Hogan. Do I need to explain this any further?

Vince does his thing.

Tito Santana/Pedro Morales vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

WOW there are a lot of stereotypes in there. Morales is a guy that I haven’t gotten to comment on much but he’s a straight up legend. He’s the first Triple Crown winner if nothing else. Volkoff’s singing was a great gimmick. I love that. The heels get jumped like good heels should and the Latin stereotypes take over. Morales and Volkoff start us off and Morales is put simply old and fat.

He’s still firey though so I can give him that one. Sheik’s in ring work is underrated I think. For no apparent reason we get no mention of Sheik and Morales being former world champions. That would be a big selling point to me if nothing else. Slick swings the cane but I think it hits Volkoff by mistake. It’s not really clear though. Tito beats up Slick and that might be a DQ.

They were feuding so it adds up at least. Yeah the faces win on a DQ…I guess because of Slick interfering? Butch Reed comes out which I guess sets up…Koko vs. Reed at Mania?

Rating: C+. Actually what we saw here was pretty good. Nothing great but for four guys that are ok and two of which are over the hill, not bad at all. I guess Reed is feuding with Santana now. Whatever.

UPDATE with Gene Okerlund!

Ricky Steamboat is with some kids in Maryland. He’s overcoming the odds and so can they. It’s cooler than it sounds. Damn I want some of those WWF Magazines. They were awesome back in the day.

Mania is indeed still on March 29.

We go to the back where Slick is in pain and Reed says he’ll get Santana.

Greg Banks vs. Harley Race

Think it’s going to be a squash? Race is the King here. Allegedly he won two King of the Ring tournaments. No he didn’t. I think his name is Banks. Does it matter though? JYD says he will never bow. Insert your own Breaking Benjamin line here. Race hits what would later become known as the Perfectplex to end it.

Rating: N/A. The promo literally was longer than the match. Race could still kind of go back then.

We hear about the Boston show. Oddly enough I want to see the show now. Damn maybe this strategy works. Sammartino says something that I think is English but I’m not sure.

Honky says he’s going to have a lot of gold records.

Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. Al Navarro/Chung Lee

Yeah I don’t think this is going to go long. Fink does his voiceover, so I’m guessing this isn’t going to be that long. Apparently a tag team match is the main event. No clue who is in it but that’s the main event indeed. We get a jumping back elbow making the match awesome. Vince shills the WWF Fan Club. Dino Bravo is doing French commentary. Ok then. The usual finishes Navarro.

Rating: C-. Not bad here. They’re starting to give the matches more time here which is making things far more interesting. This wasn’t bad but clearly it was just the way to have the Rougeaus show off. It got a bit of time though so I’m happy.

Bundy says he’ll beat up Pete Doherty for costing him a battle royal. Doherty was a very annoying guy that only wrestled in Boston. Yeah it means nothing.

We see Roma and Lombardi again from last week and it still means nothing. Vince forgets that it was last week due to the long taping schedule. Roma knows he can beat Lombardi.

Adrian Adonis vs. Jack Kruger

Adonis is wearing purple and is fat now. There you are. Sleeper ends it in about a minute. Adonis beats on him even more afterwards.

Rating: N/A. What, no Piper? What else do you want me to say here man?

Piper’s Pit

Jesse is in the Pit this week and both trophies are there too. He suggests Heenan had something to do with Andre being reinstated. Now keep in mind, this made NO sense back in the day. Heenan got Andre suspended and hated him to say the least.

Jesse says he knows what no one else knows and he’s not talking. BIG heat for that. Jesse points out the trophies being shorter and Jesse suggests that Hogan has ducked Andre. Piper defending Hogan is just not right. They argue and Jesse suggests a match. BIG pop for that. Instead, next week in the Pit, Andre and Hogan. Yep it’s THAT Pit.

Outback Jack is STILL on his way. Did he get lost or something? He’s been coming for like a month or so. Damn that doesn’t sound that bad. Hey he’s at the airport! The airport ticket lady has NO issue with this guy having a camera and cutting a short promo while he’s getting his ticket made or his theme song playing. I love wrestling.

Greg Valentine vs. Haku

The Islanders were actually faces here so Haku is a face. Wow that’s weird to type. It’s weird to think of Haku as a total rookie. Wow that is weird. Jesse says this is power vs. power. Really? Beefcake is at ringside. This is half of a tag team vs. half of a tag team in case you were wondering. I don’t remember these two feuding but it’s very possible they were feuding on house shows. That’s something you don’t get anymore but it’s very possible here. Both partners are at ringside of course. And Tama interferes for no apparent reason for the DQ to give Valentine the win.

Rating: N/A. Ah replays show that Beefcake cheated first. This was nothing special clearly and like I said was more than likely just to set up a house show feud or something like that. Nothing great here but quick and with big name vs. big name so that’s good.

Jake Roberts vs. Jerry Allen

No intros here as we come back to Jake in control. Jake was starting to get cheers here and it’s a 20 second shown match. Ok then. The snake thing follows of course.

Rating: N/A. The DDT is always awesome.

More about Boston. We need to get to this show so we can have a new batch of these things. The Hart Foundation, including the rare bare chested Bret, says they’ll run over the Rougeaus. Hercules says he’s the master of the Full Nelson now. Savage says he’s not afraid of Steamboat who is one of the lumberjacks.

Hogan, with a SWANK Hulk Hogan workout bag, has Piper come in. Hogan agrees to be on the Pit. Yeah that’s it. No explanation is made of how Vince knew these comments were coming or anything.

Outback Jack wrestles next week! And there’s a tag title match! That’s the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Far more meat here this week and it made for a better show. You have to remember that these are hour long shows. Factoring that in, look at everything they get in here. Yes the Boston ads are annoying but at the same time remember that those were the main source of revenue as you had two PPVs this whole year so instead you would get big house shows like the Boston show once a month. Those were BIG money makers back then. Anyway, next week is stacked so I’m looking forward to getting to February.

 

[klunderbunker]

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: February 7, 1987
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Bruno Sammartino

So today the tag titles are on the line and Andre will confront Hogan. Oh sweet damn that sounds good. Most importantly of course though: OUTBACK JACK DEBUTS!!! Let’s get to this.

David Gold vs. Randy Savage

Oh this could go very badly for Mr. Gold. Liz of course looks good. Gold gets some jobber offense in and that’s about it. Liz says Savage is awesome. Savage pulls Gold up off the mat. The elbow is more like a splash here but whatever. There was no way that match with Steamboat could have been anything but awesome.

Rating: N/A. Savage looked great. Did you expect anything else really?

UPDATE WITH GENE OKERLUND!

Mania 3 will be in Detroit at the Silverdome. It’s amazing that they would just announce it here. I think I like that better. Obviously it was set far before this but the announcement this late is nice.

Tag Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Hart Foundation

No intros at all here. How weird is it that the guy in the best shape of these four today is likely Neidhart? Jimmy hit Dynamite with the Megaphone apparently. Oh and evil Danny Davis is referee. Remember that. So it’s Smith vs. both guys and he’s handling them fairly well actually. He gets the powerslam on Anvil but Davis intentionally just goes to the floor to yell at Dynamite who is out cold.

This is happening in like 2-3 minutes. After the double team, a Hart Attack and an accelerated count ends this to give the Harts their first titles. MAD heat on the heels. Like I said, this whole thing was less than 4 minutes so I didn’t have time to go into commentary or anything.

Rating: N/A. Not even a match really as they were just all over the place and it was an angle rather than a match. That’s fine though as they were going this fast. For that though, it was interesting if nothing else and more or less the peak of the Davis is Evil angle. There would be a six man at Mania with Davis and the Harts vs. Bulldogs and Santana who Davis had screwed over also.

Savage talks about the Boston show which is FINALLY tonight so I don’t have to hear about it anymore.

Hercules vs. Buddy Blake

Might as well just go ahead and say N/A right here. Is there a store for jobber attire? Theirs is never anywhere near as well done as regular guys. In the inset interview, Billy Jack challenges for the Battle of the Full Nelsons. This is actually going for awhile. Vince is of course FURIOUS over Davis’ evilness. Hercules just massacres this guy for a few minutes in one of the longest squashes on here. Full Nelson ends it of course.

Rating: N/A. Like I said, it was long but it’s what you would expect here. Nothing wrong with it though as it did its job.

More about the Boston show which is later in this day, with Hercules and Heenan. Pay no attention to Hercules wearing different tights than he was just in. These are about as cut and paste as you could ask for.

Steve Lombardi vs. Hillbilly Jim

Ok now somehow this is star powered. Jim introduces Outback Jack. Just so you know this is what I’ve had to listen to every damn time I watch this fucking show.

[youtube]–yXYsPtGYFU[/youtube]

And you wonder why I want to scream? Oh apparently he’s fighting Lombardi. So noted.

Outback Jack vs. Steve Lombardi

Seriously, how did I never make this guy OCW Champion? Don’t you always love how over the top wrestlers and characters like Jim and Jack have such great wrestling training? Isn’t that amusing? Lombardi gets some offense in here and controls for a few seconds. Jack is really bad. He wins with a bulldog that would be called a clothesline to the back of the head later named the Boomerang. Now if he used a clothesline to the front, he could be world champion for 9 months.

Rating: F+. It went long enough and wasn’t a total squash. That being said, it was just boring. Yeah Piper’s Pit is next and it’s kind of the biggest angle ever so that’s all you get here.

Piper’s Pit

Piper brings out Hogan and Jesse brings out Andre….AND HEENAN! Freeze it for a second. You have to get the backstory here to get why this is stunning. For YEARS Heenan and his cronies had feuded with Andre, dating back to before the first Mania. There had been an angle where Andre had (kayfabe) skipped a show and Tunney suspended him indefinitely.

A trio of Japanese guys known as the Machines eventually showed up (two at first then joined by a third). They were clearly Americans posing as Japanese guys under masks which was the joke. Giant Machine was Andre, although he would often sit out due to injuries and be replaced by guys like Animal Machine, Piper Machine or Hulk Machine. You get the idea.

So Heenan went on this rampage screaming (the obvious) that Giant Machine was Andre who wasn’t allowed to be there. If he could prove it, Andre was gone forever. Naturally he couldn’t do it and the Machines just left on their own. Tunney lifted the suspension due to being convince by some unknown man around the beginning of 87 and Heenan more or less became a blithering idiot because of it.

That set in motion the angle we’re at now, with everyone trying to find out who got Andre’s suspension lifted while at the same time Andre is acting strange over the trophy size. Remember also that it was Andre who was the first to congratulate Hogan when he won the title back in 84. See how much more intricate things were back then?

So anyway, this was STUNNING. This is up there with the Higher Power or Cena returning at the Rumble as the audience gets it all at once and the reaction is great. Even Jesse is shocked. Anyway, Hogan FREAKS. It’s some of the best acting he’s ever done, and considering this is the guy from Mr. Nanny, he can say whatever he wants.

Oddly enough, I’m watching Jeopardy and Andre was a clue! Anyway Hogan says Andre is the guy that got him into wrestling and who he looks at as his role model, so if nothing else we know who to blame. Andre just stares down at Hogan and this is all great. Piper’s head flying back and forth from both guys is hilarious for some reason. Andre is magnificent here, just not moving an inch and glaring down at Hulk.

Hogan puts his hand on Andre’s shoulder and begs him not to do this and Andre says to take his hands off of Andre. Heenan and Hogan go at it and it’s all revealed that Andre can’t stand Hogan and is tired of being looked at as someone taking a backseat to Hogan. Finally, Heenan says Andre has one more thing to say and we get the legendary moment as Andre challenges Hogan for a title match at Mania, ripping off his shirt and breaking the cross he wore which makes Hogan’s chest bleed.

He leaves Hogan on his knees and begging Andre to come back. Easily, without a doubt, the biggest angle and the biggest heel turn ever at this point in time. This was huge to say the least and while it looks basic now, this would be like when Hogan turned heel and formed the NWO. It’s that big.

Killer Bees vs. Jimmy Jack Funk/Al Someone

Seriously does his last name matter? Good luck here guys as you’re following a moment like that. Funk wears a mask for no apparent reason. Naturally nothing is spoken of about the match. Normally that annoys me, but there are exceptions such as this. Ted DiBiase showing up on Nitro isn’t one of those though.

Also when you don’t even know the last name of one of the heels, does it really matter anyway? In an amusing line, Jesse criticizes the Bees for using masks as the heel Jimmy Jack Funk adjusts his mask. The Bees win of course.

Rating: D+. Boring as hell, but give them credit for having to follow that as no one cared about anything but Hogan of course.

Butch Reed vs. David Stoudamire

Again, a squash here. The most important thing is Koko challenging Reed for a Mania match. Oh apparently it’s not a challenge for that specific show but rather in general. A gorilla press and an elbow drop end this. Slick yells at Santana afterwards.

Rating: N/A. Short and bitter here as I just want this show to end already.

Billy Jack talks about the Boston show that happens in a few hours by talking about matches he’s not in. Ok then. His nearly Pilgrim hat is funny if nothing else. Steamboat says he’ll beat Sika and he’ll beat Savage later. He talks about being a lumberjack at the Boston show, which is an amusing visual. Sammartino comes in of course and says the same things he’s said for weeks now.

Highlights take us out.

Overall Rating: B-. Well the show itself sucks, but clearly it was about the angle and not the matches tonight as we gear up for Mania. There’s one thing to check out on here and if you don’t know what that is, you’re a fucking idiot.

 

[klunderbunker]

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: February 14, 1987
Commentators: Bruno Sammartino, Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon

It’s Valentine’s Day, but more importantly: WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO WITHOUT THE BOSTON SHOW??? Let’s get to it.

Apparently Hogan will make his announcement of whether or not he’ll fight Andre. Vince runs down the card and we’re ready to go. We recap the tag title switch from last week and Davis being a big meanie. And by recap I mean show the ending of with the same commentary.

Davis runs out to referee here but Jack Tunney RUNS after him. Yes you read that right.

Tito Santana vs. A.J. Obber

Tunney suspends Davis for life before the match and before Tito can kill him. Jimmy comes out to calm Davis down and they leave together. The forearm hits and we’re done in MAYBE 20 seconds.

Rating: N/A. Oh never mind.

We go to a replay? Why?

UPDATE!

Mania starts at 4pm? It was a different time I guess. Wait what are we updating here?

Bob Orton/Don Muraco vs. Leo Strohein/Lanny Poffo

Poffo has a poem, where he talks about Andre for no apparent reason. He says hell. Ok then. He gets a pop if nothing else. Jesse talks about his face being insured by Lloyd’s of London. And now let’s hear from Hillbilly Jim, who talks about Hogan vs. Andre. Ok then. A move that we would call the Tombstone ends it. No attention was paid to this at all.

Rating: N/A. Just a squash here to get the heels to look good. Nothing over a minute and a half at best.

Time for more Boston shows. The Hart Foundation vs. The Fabulous Rougeaus. Hercules, Orndorff and Adonis vs. Haynes, Piper and Hogan in elimination rules. This was a new concept at the time but the matches drew like crazy, resulting in the debut of Survivor Series. Hogan talks about the match with his eye bandaged. Why is it bandaged? Never explained. Then again, this was possibly taped back in 86 so there you are.

Adonis wants to beat up Piper.

John Balboa vs. Junkyard Dog

Balboa is a 400lb guy that looks like a taller Jerry Blackwell. The Junkyard Dog is a joke that looks like a bad wrestler. The US Express say if they think Hogan will accept. I sense a theme in this show. The fat tub of goo known as JYD manages to hit the Thump, which is a dumb as fuck name for a move, to win it. I want to punch those kids that dance with him.

Rating: F. JYD is always a failure.

We talk about the next Boston show again. We have the US Express vs. Muraco and Orton. Here we have the Rougeaus talking about their title match.

Mario Mancini/Sivi Afi vs. Demolition

This is old school Demolition without the more commonly known Smash and Johnny V as their manager. What do you think is going to happen here? The Decapitator ends this fast.

Rating: N/A. Another squash, but again they’re getting on TV so that’s the point.

Piper’s Pit

The guest is Hogan, and you know what’s coming. Piper recaps the whole ordeal and brings out Hogan. He of course comes out in wrestling gear with the pieces of the cross in his hands. At least he has a band-aid on his chest from the cut. After a promo, Piper point blank asks him if he’ll fight him. Hogan shouts yes and the arena ERUPTS! This is still the biggest match ever so there we are.

Danny Davis joins the Hart Foundation.

Tom Laxton vs. Ricky Steamboat

I’d be impressed with it making it 150 seconds. Laxton is Hollywood Tom Laxton apparently. Steele talks about Steamboat. Ok then. Apparently he’ll be in Ricky’s corner. A big jumping chop ends it. These are really too short to talk about.

Rating: N/A. Steamboat vs. Savage hasn’t been announced yet, but it was by far the other big match on the card.

The tag line for Mania is Bigger, Better, Badder. Make fun of that for yourselves.

Honky needs a bigger plane.

Can-Am Connection vs. Tiger Chung Singh/The Gladiator

Something tells me I know the ending. Apparently the IC Title match is already signed. Zenk buts out an enziguri of all things. You just don’t see that in the late 80s. Not in America that is. Muraco/Orton say they’re not worried about the Can-Am Connection. Good to know. Something I’m noticing about the faces here: they’re sloppy AS HELL. They’re botching basic moves. A slingshot splash gets the pin.

Rating: D. FAR too sloppy to be considered even upgradable.

Bobby talks about the main event of the Boston Show. Oh Hercules is with him. Take a guess what he says.

We run down the card, which includes a tag title match.

Overall Rating: D. Weak show today as Mania is mostly set so we’re just padding things out today. The Hogan announcement is a big deal obviously, but at the same time, the rest of the show is just awful. The announcement is on the Mania DVD, so there is nothing worth seeing here.

 

[The Bearded One]

Thanks for these reviews KB. I am going back and watching all of the Big Four PPVs, and I'm starting with Wrestlemania. I just watched Wrestlemania 3 the other day. While they showed the promo videos for the main feuds, I was still kind of blurry about what was actually leading to some of these matches. Reading these reviews clears a lot of stuff up. Are you going to do the Sperstars of Wrestling leading up to any other Wrestlemanias? Or were they even still showing Superstars of Wrestling?

 

[klunderbunker]

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: February 21, 1987
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Bruno Sammartino

There’s a tag title match and other than that it’s nothing but jobbers. We’re 5 weeks from Mania though, so this should kick ass based on that alone. Let’s get to it.

We get the theme song and who all will be here. Standard stuff.

WWF Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. The Islanders

The Islanders are faces here with Tama being awesome and Haku being newly named that. Danny Davis is introduced as the newest member of the Foundation. Egads what shorts. That’s very disturbing. He would switch to regular tights soon enough. Bret and Tama start so that’s the best combination to go with. That reverse leap frog is just awesome. It always has been and it always will be.

Hillbilly Jim pops in to say nothing of note. The heels shockingly cheat. Yeah I didn’t see that coming either. It’s weird to think that Tama and Haku would be heels so quickly. Haku got a hot tag. That’s just weird to type. He managed to botch throwing a guy to the floor. That’s hard to do. He hits a solid superkick if nothing else. Crowd is losing it over this. And then Bret cheats so Anvil gets the pin. Oh ok Davis shoved Haku off the top. That makes things better.

Rating: B-. Far too short to be anything great but at the same time, this was a quick formula match with the crowd eating it up. For a match this short to have that much heat, that’s damn impressive. Not great of anything but it’s ok.

UPDATE!

Gene wants to know if Piper is going to retire so they sit in an otherwise empty arena and Piper says he’s retiring after Mania where he’s fighting Adrian Adonis. Decent match and he would be gone for like two years.

Salvatore Bellomo vs. Harley Race

Bellomo used to be something close to a medium sized deal. That’s his career resume. Race vs. Dog is mentioned at Mania. The loser has to bow. Vince says that’s too much to explain. Ok then. Dog says he’ll win and Race will bow. Ok then. Race busts out a Fisherman’s Suplex to win it. That was an odd finisher but I don’t think he had a normal one in this company.

Rating: N/A. Total clinic here with him just doing random moves. That’s all well and good I guess though as that’s the point of a squash.

Time for the first Boston ad. 15 minutes in. Not bad. The Hart Foundation comes in and says they’re ready for the Rougeaus. Bret isn’t very good on the mic yet.

Apparently Danny has open contracts for singles, tags or 6 man matches. Ok then. Tito and the Bulldogs accept the 6 man for Mania. They freaking killed Davis there. See how much sense the Mania card makes when they’re put in context?

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Morgan Bastien

The jobber is the worst looking wrestler I have ever seen. He looks like a homeless ballerina. Hercules is in the back watching the match. We don’t see the match at this point but we do see Hercules talking about him like he wants to do serial killer related things to him. The full nelson ends it.

Rating: N/A. Obviously more about the Hercules angle than the match. Damn that guy looked bad.

Come watch Mania at these locations!

Randy Savage is talking about Mania. Wow not about Boston?

Dream Team vs. Paul Roma/Frankie Rose

So we have Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake vs. a jobber and a future Horsemen. Dino Bravo is with the heels here and still has dark hair. That’s just odd to see. The Rougeaus are ready for their match at Mania. Is this an upgrade over the Lombardi feud for Roma? They talk about the midget match. In other words, they’re still not talking about the match that’s going on. Rose taps to the figure four.

Rating: C. It was short but it worked fine I guess. It was kind of long so it qualifies for a grade. Nothing great here but that’s fine I guess.

Snake Pit

The guest is Honky Tonk Man and I think this is a rather well known incident. Jake teasing him with the snake is funny. And Honky can’t sing or play the guitar. He runs, but then we get the first ever guitar shot as Jake goes down. Allegedly it was a fiberglass guitar and it fucked up Jake’s back for years, resulting in his addiction to booze and pain pills, which is you watch his documentary you would know is bullshit but whatever.

REPORT!

How is this different than update? He runs down the card, and I mean the whole card. It really doesn’t look that bad when you see all the backstories here. While for the most part it was a big house show, the two big matches really were huge deals. Gene mentions a possibility of someone being in Hulk’s corner. Ok then. UECKER IS GOING TO BE THERE! We ask the fans who will win. Steamboat says Hogan. Harts say Andre. Hillbilly says Hulk. Ok never mind. The faces say Hogan and the heels say Andre. Screw the names.

Koko B. Ware vs. The Red Demon

Generic masked jobber. His mask is leopard print. Ok then. Butch Reed says he’s not afraid of Koko. Slick is taller than him. That’s odd. The demon loads up his mask to hit Koko with. I wonder if he got it from Hell. Koko hits a missile dropkick and then a brainbuster because he absolutely sucks.

Rating: N/A. Cool jobber if nothing else, and I’d think he’s more suited for the Hall of Fame.

Hogan and Haynes talk about their match in Boston. Wow these must have been tiring to do so many of in a row. Haynes look like a fucking idiot.

Haynes vs. Bundy next week!

Overall Rating: C. Definitely accomplished the goal of filling out the card here. You can actually see most of Mania and that’s the important thing. The feuds are working and the angles are all there. This should be a fun five more shows to get through on the way to Mania. Decent show today with some ok wrestling but as usual, nothing great. Oh and to whoever asked: I gave him the name A.J. Obber last time. His name wasn’t given.

 

[klunderbunker]

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: February 28, 1987
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino

So we’re closing out February this time as we’re getting dangerously close to Mania. I don’t remember any announced matches for this so let’s get to it and find out.

After the normal intro, Vince runs down the card. We get Billy Jack Haynes vs. Bundy. Eh that’s not terrible for a show like this actually. Those two are in the ring, but we go to the contract signing for Hogan vs. Andre. Naturally they’re both in wrestling gear. That makes perfect sense right? Heenan is there with Andre of course. They actually call him Mr. Rousimoff. WOW. Heenan wants a new belt made to fit Andre.

Allegedly that was made but I don’t think it was ever shown. If it was then it was only one time. Hogan is freaking strung out here and it’s kind of funny. I mean DAMN. He seems like he’s had about a kilo of coke or something. He’s hyperventilating and demanding that Andre speak English when he already is. This was WEIRD.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. King Kong Bundy

This could be interesting actually. I want Haynes’ hat. There is some logic here as Heenan manages Bundy and Hercules who Haynes is fighting at Mania. Hillbilly Jim is with his midgets and says they won’t get hurt. Yeah that worked really well for him. Seriously, why did this guy main event a Wrestlemania?

According to Jesse this is a main event anywhere in the world. Then why is it opening the show here? Bundy misses a splash and the full nelson goes on. Heenan comes in for the DQ and of course here’s Herc for the double team.

Rating: N/A. This could have been a decent match but it did its thing well enough. I could see this being interesting if given 3 more minutes or so.

UPDATE!

We talk about George Steele stealing Liz. They never actually said how she got back to Savage I don’t think. Liz says George is a nice guy but Savage doesn’t like that. So George Steele is in the HOF but Savage isn’t? Got it.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dave Wagner/Rick Renslow

My money is on the bigger guys. I think they’re due. Hey let’s talk about Dino Bravo, the enforcer for the team the Rougeaus get at Mania. He has brown hair here and is barely recognizable. Do you need an explanation as to what happens here? I wouldn’t think so. They win with a cannonball move that the Quebecers would wind up using in like 7 years.

Rating: N/A. I’ve always liked the French guys. They’re fun to watch for some reason.

Boston show time. I’m assuming that this is from a Boston TV station. Haynes and Hogan are here to talk about the kind of Survivor Series main event. Here’s a surprise: they win the match. There’s no point to explaining these as they’re very generic and almost always the same.

We recap Honky beating up Jake last week which was more important because of how long term the injuries to Jake wound up being.

Jerry Monty vs. Honky Tonk Man

Honky has his old music here that most of you haven’t heard more than likely. Seriously, who came up with a wrestling Elvis impersonator? That’s either a stroke of genius or the result of a stroke. He’s still in suspenders at this point so this is WAY old. Jimmy says he has a surprise but he won’t reveal it until the Mania report later. At this point, Jake vs. Honky hasn’t been made yet. The Shake Rattle and Roll ends this in like 90 seconds.

Rating: N/A. Honky didn’t wrestle much at this time so getting to see him was a rarity. He was about to hit it huge and he didn’t likely know it.

BOB UECKER!!! He’s with Gene and talks about Andre but the famous moment wasn’t until Mania 4. They have Andre’s sports coat for some reason and Uecker can barely wear it. That’s kind of amusing. The PPV starts at 4pm. That’s just odd.

We go to the Boston interview where Gene is in completely different clothes. See what I mean about the continuity issues? The Killer Bees are the guests here and Brunzell can’t talk at all really. They’ve got the Iron Sheik and Volkoff at Mania. Wait…this wasn’t about Boston.

Mary Hart, the timekeeper for Mania, which means she’s making an appearance, is with Heenan. This is awkward and not funny or anything like that.

Kamala vs. Steve Stoudamire

We hear from some newcomer that says he’s not afraid of Kamala. His name is Jim Duggan. WOW that’s weird. A top rope splash with the jobber’s shoulder up ends this.

Rating: N/A. Literally a squash. Next please.

Piper’s Pit

The guests are non existent apparently. He accepts Adonis’ challenge for Mania. Wait didn’t we know that already? Oh he does have guests: Santana and the British Bulldogs. Piper as a face is just wrong. Smith is hard to understand. Dynamite is worse. Basically they all want to kill Danny Davis and that’s what they did at the PPV.

Wrestlemania Report

They announce Honky vs. Jake which I think gives us the whole card. Yeah they say 12 matches which was the final total. Alice Cooper will be in the corner. They run down the card which kills a lot of time. This takes like 5 minutes of just talking. Oh hey here are Uecker and Heenan, oddly enough in front of the same backdrop and in the same clothes. Uecker is a riot. No one can say he wasn’t having fun though. Jesse is with Mary Hart. I don’t care either. To be fair she was a far bigger star back in the day.

Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine/Adrian Adonis vs. Rick Martel/Tom Zenk/Lanny Poffo

The heels have Johnny V, Jimmy Hart and Dino Bravo with them. Poffo does a REALLY bad poem. This is actually a big time main event for this show. Adrian isn’t afraid of Piper. They go back and forth here with like seven minutes left in the show. Wow this is actually getting some time.

It’s not very good, but it’s such a rarity on this show that I can’t complain a bit. Adrian gets a pair of scissors and accidently cuts Beefcake’s hair. It makes sense in context. In his shock, Beefcake gets rolled up for the pin. Oddly enough the “replay” is comprised of just still shots.

Rating: D. Not a great match by any stretch, but it set up Adonis getting his hair cut at Mania. Having this stuff, that makes sense all of a sudden.

Another Boston thing, this time with Hercules and Adonis, the heels in the main event plus Orndorff.

The usual stuff ends it.

Rating: D-. Just a bleh show overall with only Honky vs. Jake being advertised. The contract signing is just thrown in there like it’s nothing at all which is odd. The problem is that Mania is more or less totally set so there’s no point to having more build at this point. A lack of Savage hurt this too. Not a very good show at all other than for nostalgia.

 

[klunderbunker]

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: March 7, 1987
Commentators: Bruno Sammartino, Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon

Do you really need an intro after the last 8 shows? You all know the drill by this point I’m sure. Let’s get to it.

Guys like Steamboat and Andre will be here and there’s a non title tag team match.

Mary Hart, one of the celebrities is here. Well, in studio. She’s enthusiastic if nothing else.

Pete Doherty vs. Junkyard Dog

We must be in Boston if Doherty is there as I don’t think he ever wrestled anywhere else. It’s a total squash of course. That can’t mean much though as neither are any good in the first place. JYD hits his powerslam which at least looks good for the pin. He gets the kids dancing at the end.

Rating: N/A. Standard stuff here with a bigger name jobber, at least in that town.

UPDATE!

Honky vs. Jake for Mania. We see Jake and Alice Cooper talking. When I was a kid I honestly didn’t know if Cooper was a man or a woman. They’re old school apparently.

We recap Adonis cutting Beefcake’s hair, which makes the post match antics at Mania make SO MUCH more sense.

Demolition vs. Two Unnamed Jobbers

This is the original Demolition still with Johnny V as the manager. They actually look alike at this point. We hear an ad for a show in Worchester. The best wrestler there is Roddy Piper. The second best is Adrian Adonis. You do the rest of the math about the show. Based on that and the names of the jobbers not even being said, you should get the idea about this show. The usual ends it.

Rating: N/A. When the names of the wrestlers aren’t even known, that can’t be a good sign.

We hear about a Boston show that is tonight. Adonis and Hercules are the heel representatives tonight. They’re in an elimination tag match with Orndorff vs. Hogan, Piper and Haynes. Not bad and there would be a PPV of them eventually: Survivor Series.

Uecker and Mary Hart make some jokes that are kind of funny.

Terry Gibbs vs. Ricky Steamboat

I think I’ve seen this match before. Gibbs was a slight step ahead of most jobbers as he would beat them on occasion but it didn’t happen often. However his opponent is one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. I don’t like his odds. Savage says he isn’t worried about Steamboat. To be fair, that should get talked about more as it was the 2nd billed match on the card. This actually gets a few minutes with Gibbs getting a short comeback in. Of course the crossbody wins it.

Rating: C. For something short like this, not bad. Steamboat is always worth looking at though.

Uecker and Okerlund make beaver jokes.

Orton and Muraco talk about the Can-Am Connection. Orton sounds like Harley Race.

Hacksaw, driving a blue truck of all things talks about how he doesn’t like the Russians. Ok then.

Iron Sheik/Nikilai Volkoff vs. SD Jones/Brad Rhengians

Rhengians was an AWA guy and a trainer for the majority of his career. How he became a trainer is beyond me as he was terrible so there we are. Both he and Sheik were “Olympians” though so there we are. We hear from the Killer Bees who are better on the mic than I would have thought they were. The two jobbers are the A-list jobbers. Think of them like Khali and…another guy of Khali’s stature that never wins. Heel shenanigans and the Camel Clutch on Jones ends it.

Rating: C-. Again they’re actually getting some time out there and it makes things more interesting. Not bad here but nothing to write home, or even a review, about. The jobbers being out there helped as they were at least cometent.

Piper’s Pit

Heenan is called a weasel by a guy in the crowd. This was before it meant much so that was a funny thing. Andre is the guest here and Heenan is with him of course. Heenan says his usual stuff and Piper says he wants to talk to Andre. Lou Albano wanders over, likely not sure where he is. He goes off on Andre and this is a cool moment as we get Andre the Giant vs. Mario. That’s a hell of a video game. The Giant runs him off.

We go to the control center with Gene. The main thing is the recap of the contract signing between Hogan and Andre. This really is an epic moment. As Jesse put it, this is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling. He’s absolutely right. Hogan cutting a promo at the signing is funny for some reason. We go to Aretha Franklin with Jimmy Hart to talk about singing America the Beautiful. Bob Uecker talks about all of his predictions in various other things. None of them are right. He’s hilarious to put it mildly.

Gene runs down the card. This takes a LONG time.

We see a clip of the Harts winning the belts from the Bulldogs with all kinds of cheating.

Jim Powers/Jerry Allen vs. Hart Foundation

Powers would soon team up with Paul “I was a Horseman damn it” Roma to form the Young Stallions who weren’t completely awful. The Harts were pretty great at this point. Danny Davis cuts a mini promo and says he’ll surprise people. We go with the squash formula here as the Harts destroy them and put on a clinic. Hart Attack ends it in like 90 seconds. Davis is wearing a jacket like what Miz wears recently. Vince saying the jobbers are no British Bulldogs made me laugh a lot.

Rating: N/A. Just more momentum for the Harts before Mania and that’s fine.

Hogan and Piper talk about their match in Boston tonight. These two as friends is just WRONG.

After a brief rundown of next week’s lineup, we’re out.

Overall Rating: D. Just a big commercial for Mania. However, it’s three weeks away from the biggest show in the history of wrestling. Do you really expect something new? Fine for what it was, boring as hell overall though.

 

[klunderbunker]

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: March 14, 1987
Commentators: Bruno Sammartino, Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

I’m bored and there are three of these left. Let’s do it.

You know how they do the intros here. Hogan is in the Pit this week.

Tiger Chung Lee/Iron Mike Sharpe vs. Killer Bees

Take a guess as to who wins this one. The Bees are wearing their usual yellow and black trunks but they have black tights under them. They look weird to say the least and they didn’t last. Sheik and Volkoff say they’ll make honey out of the Bees. Cute I guess. Wow those tights look stupid as hell. Vince talks about Uecker being in the front row with the bodies and sweat all around him. There’s something deeper there. I know there is.

Vince says Jesse can’t make fun of anyone’s career given his lackluster career. BURN. Especially funny since Jesse is in the WWF HOF and Uecker is in the WWF and the baseball one. That’s hilarious. The heels try to cheat and botch it allowing Lee to get dropkicked for the pin. The tights would be gone next time thank goodness.

Rating: B+. That’s for the commentary which was absolutely hilarious here. I was cracking up over it.

UPDATE!

We get the tale of the tape for Hogan vs. Andre, which is something they could do more often. They built this up as the biggest match in wrestling history and that’s what it came off as. Amazing stuff.

Don Driggers vs. Harley Race

The camera comes back from commercial on this VERY attractive woman at ringside. No clue who she is but damn. We hear the word stable on TV which is odd. Uecker makes some jokes and is of course funny. Andre is his friend apparently. That’s amusing. We get an old school criss cross and see JYD watching the match. Not that we can see the match or anything. What difference would that make? Race wins with a fisherman’s suplex.

Rating: N/A. Short and sweet but a clinic on basics.

We get a Mania ad, but we only have selected PPV providers. Yeah this was a different time.

The Can-Am Connection talk about their Mania match.

Butch Reed is ready for Koko. Slick being taller than Reed is odd looking.

Barry O vs. Koko B. Ware

The O stands for Orton of all people. The whole crowd starts dancing like a bird. That’s rather….I’m not sure what it is actually. Koko does little more than dance. That sums up his Hall of Fame career. Tito says Koko is cool. Missile Dropkick and Brainbuster ends this quick.

Rating: N/A. Total filler here and nothing more.

Aretha Franklin says nothing of note.

Hogan is out of his mind on something, talking about immortality and how Andre is keeping him from it. He’s CRAZY sounding here. If he’s not on cocaine I’ll eat my hat. Ok I’ll go by a hat and then eat it.

Uecker interviews Andre, which is to say Andre scares the hell out of him.

Hercules vs. Mario Mancini

That sounds like a good pizza place rather than a jobber. Haynes says he’s ready for Hercules. These shows are really just dying to get to Mania as nothing new is set up at all. Full Nelson ends it in like 90 seconds.

Rating: N/A. Get this over with please.

Piper’s Pit

The guest is Hogan, but Roddy has to kind of give his goodbye first. That’s rather sad. Hogan and Piper being friends is downright sickening. This is more sucking the dick of Hogan. Yeah I’m stunned too.

Wrestlemania Report

This is going to take time. Celebrities are going to be there. Jimmy Hart talks to Uecker in an amusing bit. Uecker really is awesome. He seemed like he was having fun if nothing else which is the biggest and most important thing. Mary Hart talks to Heenan and Andre. She’s annoying as all hell.

She asks Andre why he needs a manager. Andre: You talk too much. AWESOME. We run down the lineup which takes forever. Haynes says the same thing he’s said for like EVER. The Dream Team say they’ll beat the Rougeaus. Seriously, these are boring as hell. The Harts and Davis want to talk because they hate me for some reason.

Sivi Afi vs. Randy Savage

You know what? I don’t give a damn anymore. Savage with the elbow. Did you expect anything else?

Rating: N/A. These squashes are making my soul ache. DO SOMETHING ELSE!

Hercules says basic stuff.

The usual stuff ends it.

Overall Rating: F. This was just a big commercial for Mania and by this point, I’m fed up with these. Thank goodness I only have two left, which I might not do but whatever. Boring as hell show.

 

[klunderbunker]

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: March 21, 1987
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Bruno Sammartino

Two left. I can do this. I know I can. Let’s just get this one the hell over.

The photo of the Bulldogs have them with the tag titles, despite us being a month removed from them losing the belts.

Iron Sheik vs. Jim Duggan

This is Duggan’s debut I believe. While Volkoff is doing his singing thing, we go to Duggan in the back who says his pro-America promo. He hears the singing and storms to the ring, which at least makes sense in the context of Mania 3. He chases the heels off and…are we going to have a match? We’re in a really small arena here by the looks of things. Ok apparently no match. Was there a point to that? Actually there was as it set up the ending of their tag match at Mania.

UPDATE!

We get a clip of Hayes vs. Race which ended with Heenan running in for the DQ. Hayes talks about Heenan and Hercules as you would expect him to.

Slick and his cronies are mad about what just happened. Sheik looks like he’s about 2 years old.

Don Muraco/Bob Orton vs. Corporal Kirschner/Mario Mancini

The Can-American Connection cut a basic promo at the beginning of the match. You know, I wonder how we get these jobber combinations. Do they go up to each other and say “wanna get killed by some great team today?” We get a poem from Lanny Poffo and while he talks a double team suplex/cross body combination get the win for the heels.

Rating: N/A. Just there for the promos I guess but Poffo's poetry was always kind of cute.

The Harts and Davis talk about their six man. Hart is just ok at talking but you get a few gems in there that give you hope for him.

We see the Rougeaus training by riding snowmobiles. Good for them.

Adrian Adonis vs. Jim Young

Something tells me this isn’t going to be very good. Wow Adonis is freaking fat. Beefcake says he’s mad at Adonis. Wow he didn’t turn face until Mania? Could have fooled me. Sleeper ends this in like 90 seconds. Oddly enough the referee holds up both arms on the jobber. Weird looking thing.

Rating: N/A. Par for the course at this point. This show is flying by though.

Mary Hart continues to be worthless. She’s energetic if nothing else.

JYD comes in to talk to Gene. Gene: “JYD, I don’t know how someone could have the ba…the guts to sign a contract like this.” That’s the most amusing thing so far today. Randy Savage comes in with a chair and JYD leaves. Odd. This is quick if nothing else.

Uecker and Jimmy Hart do some talking which is rather funny.

Al Navarro/Steve Lombardi/Rick Renslow vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Practice match I guess. The faces are all great still at this point so if nothing else it’s fun to watch guys give a clinic like that. Davey is beating all three up on his own. Forearm ends it though. I could watch Santana all day.

Rating: C+. And that’s just because I like Santana.

Piper’s Pit

Naturally he yells about Adonis. The guest is Jack Tunney who has the belt for Andre if he wins. It’s as big as the ECW Title was but longer. Piper holding the world title is a great sight. Also, Tunney either grew a few inches or lost about 80lbs, or that’s not Jack Tunney as he looks COMPLETELY different than he did in 91. The massive belt doesn’t fit Andre either.

Wrestlemania Report.

Be right back. Have a roast to make. Ok I’m back and we’re nowhere near done apparently as Gene is still talking. Savage is Intercontinental Champion of the World. Got it. We get clips of a battle royal from SNME. We’ll get to that soon. Hogan and Andre went at it and Andre throws him out. Hercules won it. Andre cuts a nice little promo on Hogan. Or was he saying he wanted to molest a duck. With his accent you never could tell. Uecker and Mary Hart have a fairly funny thing. And Aretha Franklin is here too. So is Alice Cooper. Why not tell us who the caterers were too?

Aretha talks. I don’t care.

Alice Cooper and Jake Roberts talk a bit.

Lanny Poffo vs. Honky Tonk Man

Poffo was more or less the Santino of this time, as he would win a match every now and then but was mostly a comedy character. It’s about a minute long with a few quick shots but the Shake Rattle and Roll ends it.

Rating: N/A. Poffo’s offense was WAY ahead of its time in America if nothing else as he even had a moonsault back then, which was unheard of in WWF.

Hogan says his usual stuff to take us out.

Overall Rating: D-. Just slightly better than last week’s as for some reason this FLEW by. It wasn’t good, but last week I was begging for this to end. Not as bad and I want to rewatch Mania due to this show which is definitely a good sign.

 

[klunderbunker]

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: March 28, 1987
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino, Jesse Ventura

This is the last one I have of these and we’re a day before Wrestlemania. Something tells me not much is going to happen here.

You know how they open these things now.

Uecker is with Andre and Heenan for their usual stuff. They coach him on how to announce Andre as the new champion. Funny stuff.

Steve Lombardi/Johnny K-9 vs. Can-Am Connection

K-9 is from Romania apparently. Good to know. Jesse gets cut off as he’s talking about the face team by a Fink thing talking about Mania. Muraco and Orton mumble a lot. The jobbers have done nothing at all. Ah there’s a thumb in the eye. That’s more like it. The heels are in control for about 8 seconds before Zerk gets the hot tag. A double team finisher ends it.

Rating: N/A. Sweet damn the Can-Ams were over as hell. Strike Force got their push.

UPDATE!

Steamboat says he’ll win etc.

Butch Reed vs. Jim Powers

Powers would be in a semi-successful tag team in a few months called the Young Stallions. Koko talks like an idiot. Reed hits his top rope clothesline for the pin.

Rating: N/A. It made sense if nothing else.

It’s a commercial for Mania. No I mean a designed one rather than the entire show.

The Rougeaus talk about how they’ll win. They don’t do that.

Hart Foundation vs. Rick Hunter/Joe Myrtle

Oh just get this shit over with already. We get comments from Matilda. I’m not making that up. We get a Stu Hart reference as a Hart Attack ends it.

Rating: N/A. Usual stuff here. I want this series to end.

Jake Roberts and Alice Cooper talk about Jimmy Hart.

Andre is with Gene and the size difference is downright hilarious. Heenan shows up before Andre can talk. He would be heel for three years. Wow I didn’t realize that before.

Hacksaw says no Russian will sing his national anthem again. Volkoff tries to but the Xenophobe Jim Duggan stops him. Oh that was last week.

Slick and the Sheik call out Duggan for next week. Why not this week?

Duggan accepts the challenge for pugilism next week.

Jake Roberts vs. Moondog Spot

This should be quick. The Moondogs were better in Memphis. Honky says very generic heel things. DDT hits out of nowhere and it’s over.

Rating: N/A. Stupid but quick.

Piper’s Pit

This would be the last one I guess. Wow. This one is about the fans apparently. He talks about wanting to wrestle since he was a kid. Cool interview. He talks about never retreating. Remember that tomorrow is his farewell match. He’s going to Hollywood, but he’s going home to his family. Made no sense, but it’s Piper in the 80s so what did you expect?

Wrestlemania Report

At least it’s the last one. Mary and Jimmy Hart argue over nothing of note. Aretha Franklin and Bobby Heenan do the same. We run down the card….again. JYD says he will not bow. I wonder if he will break. I like Breaking Benjamin. Give me a break. The Harts talk a bit too.

Uecker and Hart talk more. Kind of funny.

Harley Race vs. Jerry Allen

Final match I’d assume. Belly to belly hits like 3 seconds in. JYD wastes oxygen by speaking. Fisherman’s Suplex ends it again. Allen is forced to bow afterwards which is a great touch.

Rating: N/A. Fitting that it ends on a total squash.

Hogan talks like you would expect him to. And that’s it.

Overall Rating: D-. Better than both of the previous weeks so I can live with that. Not great at all, but I want to see Mania if nothing else so that’s a good sign.

And so ends the Superstars shows that I have. It’s a good show, but towards the end there was NOTHING but talking about Mania. To be fair though, that’s the point here. Not a terrible show as it did its job. There were some epic moments on there though, so it got the point across. Nicely done I guess, but these last 2-3 shows were BRUTAL. Nostalgia value aside though, these were bearable I guess, just nothing great. It was cool to see a totally different style of presentation though and I thought it worked for the most part. And that’s it.