Issue #8: Not A Casino RP
Haven waves after his fellow tag team champion as he disappears and merges into the countless number of faces littering the Comic Con event. With a breath of eagerness, Haven turns and begins perusing the various booths at the event. Haven begins to think as he swims his way through the sea of people.
Wow, WZCW Tag Team Champions.
Haven reaches down and grabs the belt on his waist as he continues to walk.
Not only did Hyada and I stop evil at All or Nothing, but we got rewarded for it in the form of these belts. Heh, I never was one to win many awards, so this is something special for me. I mean, my grades were sub-par at best in the Hero Academy, and I was never good at any sports, except hacky sack. Boy, was I good at hacky sack! I’d be all like, *hack* *hack* *sack* *sack*. Yeah, those were the days… Well, this thought is going nowhere, let’s see what I can do to accommodate my ADH-
Never before has Haven seen such an eclectic taste of interests and people. Even the Hero Academy didn’t have such diversity. He sniffs the unique air as it tickles his nose. It is a mix of Axe body spray and a rich sturdy body odor from heavy breathing fanboys. This sense of smell is complemented by the sight of others passing by him, which conducts a pattern as follows: Cleavage, fat gut, shitty cosplay, and repeat.
Suddenly, he hears a mucus strained voice echo nearby.
???: You fool! You activated my weapon card!
Haven: Huh?
Haven tapers off to the side out of the stream of Comic Con walkers and finds himself at a booth where two rotund individuals are competing in some kind of WZCW themed card game. There is a man with a “I <3 Cup” shirt breathing heavily as he glares at his card-game opponent. His opponent resembles a sausage casing as he dawns a skin tight King Shabba cosplay outfit.
Shabba Fan: Like I said, I activate my weapon card. Steel Ladder! I use it with my Amber Warren card to destroy your El Califa card.
Cup Fan: Argggggh!
Haven is fascinated by what is happening.
Haven: Hey, this is awesome! What is this?!
The two rotund duelist don’t even look up from the card game.
Cup Fan: Like, duh. It is only the best fan-made card game ever for WZCW. *under his breath* Dweeb.
Shabba Fan: I set one backstage card facedown and end my turn.
Cup Fan: Alright, get ready. First, I summon the team of Hyada and Haven, Young Justice!
Haven’s eyes fill with delight as he sees a playing card with his face on it.
Haven: Yeah! Young Justice! Woo! Kick Warren's ass!
Cup Fan: Then I sacrifice them both-
Haven: Wait, no. : (
Cup Fan: To special summon the mammoth, Rush!
The Cup fan slams down a limited edition holographic Rush card. The Shabba fan is in shock!
Cup Fan: I use his super ability of being badass to attack your ring points directly!
Shabba Fan: You activated my backstage card! It is called “Delayed Push”. It is super effective against wrestlers Rush and Sam Smith. Your card has to leave the field and go directly into retirement. You don’t pass go, you don’t collect 200 dollars, and I activate a chain effect card on Amber Warren called "Awesome Swerve"! If nothing interesting is going on your side of the field, I automatically win the duel! Game, set, and match, bitch!
Cup Fan: Bull shit!
The Cup fan throws his cards in the air in frustration. He is extremely pissed until he looks over and sees a shining gold belt. He looks at it in awe and then looks up to see it is attached to
THE WZCW Tag Team Champion, Haven.
Cup Fan: Dude..
Shabba Fan: Sorry, bro. I won! Hahaha!
Cup Fan: No, dude, look!
The Shabba fan stops gloating and looks up at Haven, who is standing there with a sad face. He speaks like a whimpering puppy.
Haven: You sacrificed me…
Shabba Fan: Oh my Ty Burna, you are THE Haven!
Both of them stand up in excitement and reach in their pockets.
The Cup fan pulls out a sharpie.
Cup Fan: Will you sign my diabetes?
The Shabba fan pulls out his Iphone.
Shabba Fan: Can I get a picture of you holding up the belt?!
Haven snaps out of the sadness over being sacrificed.
Haven: Uh, no to the first, but yes to the second!
Haven unlatches the belt and holds it up in the air with one hand like a Greek warrior offering up the gold belt as a sacrament to a beloved Greek god. The sight is so beautiful that the Shabba fan puts down his Iphone and sheds a tear.
Shabba Fan: So majestic.
Cup Fan: I have the weirdest boner right now.
Suddenly, a sizzling voice breaks up the nerdgasm.
???: Hey, boys.
All three men turn to see a steaming seductress dressed in a skintight black latex outfit with a black mask on. She has a duffel bag hanging off the side of her right shoulder. The zipper at the top of her latex is down to the middle of her-chest, displaying a sample of her luscious body.
The Shabba Fan is speechless as his jaw drops.
Cup Fan: Is it possible to have a super boner?
Haven timidly speaks up as he continues to hold his belt in the air.
Haven: H-- Hi.
Woman: Mind if I hold your belt for a second?
Haven looks over at the two fat nerds. They nod furiously.
Haven: I mean, I don’t know why I shouldn’t trust an extremely hot woman in black latex.
He hands her the belt. She gazes into her golden reflection and winks at Haven.
Woman: Thanks, babe.
She suddenly sprints away with the belt in hand.
Haven: Wait, no!
Haven runs after her in a panic. The two heavy duelist are left in shock.
Shabba Fan: I’m so gonna vlog about this.
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We switch back to Haven frantically weeding his way through a heavy concentrated area of cosplayers. The woman in black latex is just up ahead, as she herself pushes her way through the crowd. Suddenly, they both find themselves trapped in an encircled social area where cosplayers can meet and greet each other. As the latex woman tries to figure out where to escape, Haven yells after her as he confronts her in an open circle in the middle of the chattering cosplayers.
Haven: Hey!
The woman laughs as she knows she has nowhere to run, and must now face the man she robbed.
Woman: What’s a matter, hun?
The woman kisses the tag team title belt and glares playfully at Haven.
Haven: Do you always steal from green themed heroes, or do you just like me?
The woman laughs evilly as she unzips the duffel bag hanging from her shoulder.
Haven: Why do you want my belt anyways?
Woman: Let's just say I'm a sucker for authentic accessories.
She smirks at Haven.
Haven: Why don’t you give the belt back nicely, I don’t want to fight you.
Woman: You fool, you don’t know who you are messing with.
The woman shoves the belt in her duffel bag. She then reaches in her duffel bag and twirls around in a tornado like fashion. After the whirlwind disappears, the woman is now dressed in a Spidergirl costume. Haven is amazed.
Haven: Who are you?
Woman: Oh, me? I’m the Cosplay Queen!
The Cosplay Queen leaps at Haven with a kick, but the green hero dodges the assault. The Queen quickly recovers and lunges at Haven with a punch. Haven grabs her arm and then pushes her back. Haven then lunges at her to grab the duffel bag, but she leaps backwards and into the crowd of cosplayers that surround their open circle. Haven frantically tries to find her, but she has fused into the crowd. Suddenly, she begins to laugh and jumps back out of the crowd. This time dressed like Master Chief from Halo.
Haven is confused, and perhaps doesn’t realize that it is her.
Haven: Huh?
The Queen runs up to Haven and socks him in the gut. Spit flies out of Haven’s mouth as he falls to his knees.
Queen: Give up, Haven. You can’t beat me. I have too many forms.
Haven gasps for air, but then clinches his fist. He pushes himself up to his feet.
Haven: No, I won’t let you take away my belt. Not after I just won it! Give it back youuuuuuuuuuuuuu bitch!
Haven lunges at the Cosplay Queen in Master Chief form. She goes for a block, but Haven turns it into a toss, and throws her back into the crowd. The sound of a whirlwind occurs and she jumps back out in a Captain America outfit. Haven combats her again until she jumps back into the crowd. Suddenly, Batman steps out of the circle. Haven runs up to him and prepares to punch, but he stops when he realizes the Batman cosplayer is not the Queen.
Queen: Behind you.
Haven turns around to see her dressed up as Superman. She socks Haven in the jaw and he tumbles backwards.
Queen: What’s the matter? Too much?
Haven rubs the pain out of his chin as he stands up.
Haven: Yeah, right. I fight tougher competitors on a weekly basis.
Queen: Oh? Then how about this?
The Queen goes into a whirlwind and turns into Matt Tastic. She lunges at him, but Haven rolls out of the way.
Queen: No? How about this?
Another whirlwind turns her into The Beard. She lunges at Haven for a punch, but he dodges once again. However, he stumbles in the process and lands flat on the ground.
Queen: Come on, now.
She begins a series of whirlwinds and turns into various superstars as she walks towards Haven. Finally, she stops on one.
As Haven is getting up, he finds himself getting picked up by the collar. He is face to face with Ty Burna. The Cosplay Queen has turned herself into the ultimate challenge in WZCW.
Queen: You are just an ant among Kings and Queens.
Suddenly, Haven shoves her back. She is taken back while still maintaining her Ty Burna form.
Haven: It doesn’t matter who I face, or the fact that I may be an ant among giants. I’ll still fight, and I’ll still bite. You can count on that!
Haven lunges at the Cosplay Queen and connects with a kick. The blow is so hard that her Ty Burna wig flies off. Haven then sweeps her legs out from underneath her. However, she quickly responds by flipping herself back on her feet.
Haven: It doesn’t matter who you try to be from the WZCW. I’ll take on any challenge that comes my way.
Queen: Oh, really?
The Queen spins in a frenzy and gets right in the face of Haven. She is dawning the outfit of our hero’s tag team partner, Hyada, with Haven's half of the tag team championships around her waist. Haven is stunned in fear. A cold sweat breaks out on the back of his neck.
Queen: Can you fight me? Your friend?
The Queen punches Haven down to his knees in her Hyada form. She grabs his collar and begins wailing on his face.
Queen: Can you bite back against your partner? Can You?!
Punch after punch connects as Haven just takes each one. Finally, the Queen stops to shake her hand from the self-inflicted hurt of hitting Haven. She walks away for a moment to collect herself.
Queen: You are pathetic.
Haven stays on his knees with a bruised face. His mind slowly begins to stew.
How, how can I fight back against my partner? My friend?! This upcoming round of shows, it is the roulette round… It is very possible that I might just end up in this exact predicament. I can’t, I can’t fight him. I can’t. I CAN’T!
Haven: I WON’T HURT MY FRIEND!
Suddenly, all of the cosplayers circling the two turn and look at Haven as he yells from a kneeling position. The Cosplay Queen shakes her head in disgust as she walks back towards Haven. Haven just stares at her as she mirrors his best friend. However, a voice suddenly echoes in Haven’s head.
Haven, you fool!
God? God is that you?
No, you idiot!
Hyada, is that you?
Yes, what are you doing?
I can’t… I can’t fight you... You have done so much for me. I just can’t!
Haven, that isn’t me. She is trying to mentally attack you.
But, Hyada… The roulette rounds...
Look, if we happen to face each other in the ring, I want nothing but your best. Not only are we partners, but we are rivals. We help each other become better by competing alongside each other. You hear me?!
Wow, thanks Hyada.
Don’t thank me, I’m just saying what you knew all along. Don’t let fear consume what you know is true! NOW GET UP AND FIGHT!
The Cosplay Queen gets to Haven, but she is taken back as Haven leaps up and uppercuts her stomach, just above the tag belt. Haven then grabs her duffel bag and swings it into her. She flies backwards as her cosplay outfit crumbles, revealing her black latex suit.
She screams at Haven.
Queen: No, my outfits!
She tries to get up, but Haven walks up to her and presses his foot down on her chest.
Haven: No.
Haven tosses the bag side and reaches down to unlatch the belt around her waist.
Haven: My belt.
He smirks down at the Cosplay Queen as he puts the belt back around his own waist.
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We transition to a shot of the Cosplay Queen being put in a police car. Haven is watching this unfold as he puts a hand down on the tag team championship gilding his waist. It glistens under the fading sun. Suddenly, Hyada walks up next to him, with his belt on his shoulder. Hyada watches the police car zoom away and then smiles at his partner.
Hyada: So, what have you been up to today?
Haven: Eh, nothing much.
They share a smile as Hyada pats his friend on his back. The two begin to walk away from the Comic Con event as the scene fades to black.