The old large wooden doors required Eve Taylor pressing her entire body against them and digging her heels into the ground to push the stubborn slammers open. She never remembered using this amount of strength before for these doors; they were more welcoming to her when she was a child. Eve recalls always being the first person to stand outside, and when Father Angelo called upon the community to enter church, it was the young Eva Pellegrini who burst through without hassle. She remembers running straight through to the front pew, getting as close to the altar as she could to listen to the stories told. She loved listening to Father talk endlessly; as a child, Eva didn't have the chance to read much. She was working many hours on the family farm, and any deviation from work was considered a mortal sign by her father. He always looked down upon Eva. Eve hated him for that. So, when the Pellegrini family went to church early on a Sunday morning to fulfil their Catholic requirements, Eva was excited to go. She got to enjoy some time off doing what she enjoyed, and for a moment, she felt like she had a real father. Like the ones the other kids said they had...
... but that was a lifetime ago, when Eve Taylor was Eva Pellegrini. Those days are gone. Buried in history. A history she tried to forget; yet, for some unknown reason, she decided that on this day, very late on a Saturday night, she needed to be here. She wish she could say the same for the ancient structure, somehow still standing: the refusal of the doors wanting to open made Eve Taylor think she was not invited inside. It was almost divine intervention preventing her from stepping foot in God's house. Eve couldn't really blame the reasoning, for she was not exactly a patron saint. There were many things Eve Taylor had committed which could be seen as crimes; as sin, beginning with her abandoning her family to pursue a life of fame and success. It was all downhill from there, she supposed... maybe that's why she felt compelled to be here. Maybe she wanted to revisit the church of her past to atone for her sins? Get a weight of the world off her shoulders before heading into Gold Rush against Constantine?
Eventually, Eve had pried the doors open, and managed to close them shut to keep the cool wind from invading the warm temperatures that were inside the church. Taking a few steps forward, she looked around and noticed how proud the church remained. It knew it was old, and required restoration, but it stood strong, somehow managing to hold everything together... stability: another thing Eve needed in her life... the place wasn't exactly how she remembered it as a child, but then again, she never really paid much attention to anything inside the church. All she really did was go to the front, and watch Father Angelo perform at the altar. So, Eve decided to do just that. Go to the front.
Slowly, she took step after step, trying to do her best to not get her heel caught in the cracks of the stone floor. Every step felt like she was being careful not to fall. One of the prices to pay for being fashionable was understanding that not all environments would be accessible. She stopped, and looked around. Nobody was inside the church that she could see. She looked down, and decided it would be best to remove her stiletto's. She felt a little relief removing the straps, and taking the shoes off. The stone floor was cold but her feet were able to be free again. When she took her next step, she took it carefully, but her feet landed firmly on the ground. There was no worries for Eve this time. She cracked a small smile as she began to walk, a little more confidently this time, as if she was on the runway. Her smile grew wider as Eve picked up the pace, go from a model's walk to a child's run. She sprinted down the church aisle, with the biggest smile on her face, and letting out some laughter. Eva ran straight to the front pew. As she made it, she felt like she placed first in a marathon and jumped in the air for joy, raising her hands. Quickly, she slide along the front pew, and it sent her almost near the end of the seat! She laughed as Eva almost toppled over, somehow managing to keep control of her position. She adjusted herself as she still laughed, and sat in the spot she always sat at it. Slowly, she regained her composure, fixed her hair, tidied her clothes, and sat firmly in the pew. Her feet were getting cold now. She felt a little cold now. She put her stiletto's back on. Eve wrapped her arms around herself. Something didn't feel right. It was starting to feel like a really stupid idea.
"Why am I here?" Eve asked herself. "I don't belong here any more."
"God invites everyone inside his home."
Shocked, Eve looked around frantically to see who spoke. The echoes inside the church made it hard to pinpoint the source of the sound, and she felt very worried for a second. That is, until she recognised the voice, and she turned into the very direction where the person had emerged: it was Father Angelo, a lot older than her memories serve, and he was walking past the altar.
"Even you, Eva."
He remembered who she was. After all these years, he still recognised her.
"How did you know it was me?" She queried.
"I heard your laughter." Father answered. "There was only one girl I remember with such a beautiful laugh like that, running down the aisle. It always put a smile on my face."
"You heard all that?" Eve said, quite embarrassed about her outburst.
Father Angelo descended the steps from the altar, and to the floor with the pews. He went to sit right next to Eve, taking his time due to his body beginning to give out on him.
"The acoustics in here aren't exactly the greatest. I was able to hear you, and your heavy feet, run and laugh through the church." Father Angelo let out a sighing breath as he sat down on the church pew to relax. "It has been a long time, Eva."
"I know, Father..." She responded sheepishly. "I've been gone for a long time."
"Yes, you're family told me."
Eve's eyes lit up with curiosity. "My family?"
"They come here every Sunday morning without fail. Your parents. Your sisters, and their families. And your grandmother. All of them attend Sunday morning mass."
"I didn't think my family cared for me, any more."
"No matter what has happened in the past, your family will always care for you, Eva."
Eve turned to her handbag, fumbling through the insides until she pulled out an envelope. She handed the envelope to Father Angelo, who opened it carefully. He lifted the letter inside only a fraction out of the envelope before seeing exactly what it was. He slowly put it back inside, and handed it to Eve. Father Angelo readjusted himself in the chair, and reflected on how his words came to bite him back.
"I'm not exactly allowed to visit them. Or talk to them. Or be in the vicinity of them, or the authorities will haul me away for breaching that... stupid piece of paper. I can't have that happening so close to such an important event."
"It is your grandmother who discusses you with me. She does so in the confessional box. I recall her mentioning you having a restraining order placed against you, but the manner in which she spoke, I did not believe. This is probably why she talked to me in private in matters revolving around yourself. I am sorry you've been put through this. Was it your father?"
"Yes. How did you know?"
"Ah!" Father Angelo laughed. "Your father has always been a rather difficult man to deal with. I do no envy Saint Peter at the Gates of Heaven when your father's time comes to pass."
The two shared their own laugh, trying to make light of a horrible situation. Seconds later, they both realised the reality and remained neutral.
"What are you doing up so late?" Eve asked, attempting to change the subject as she wiped her nose with her forearm. "I figured you'd be asleep for such early masses on a Sunday."
"The patrons who attend Saturday evenings are normally less taken care of than those who attend on Sundays. I have quite a bit of clean-up to do before the church is ready." Father Angelo paused to ponder before asking the next question. "May I ask the same question to you? What you doing here? If you wish to confess, I'll have to get my other robes o-"
"I am not here to confess, Father." Eve interrupted. "Confession is for those that wish for a clean slate, and restore themselves to a place where they consider themselves a good person. The last time I was a good person was when I went by the name of Eva Pellegrini. If I confess, I wipe away Eve Taylor. I do not wish for that."
"Do you feel Eve Taylor is not a good person?"
"I know Eve Taylor is not a good person."
"There is still time to change, Eva. Whatever sins you bear you can repent, and be forgiven."
Eve could not help herself as she chuckled at the idea, shaking her head. Father Angelo looks at her with some confusion. He sits up.
"Do you not believe a person can change?"
Eve paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts.
"When I came here to this church, I did not know the reason why. What purpose do I have revisiting a place in the memories of the person whom I have since abandoned? Surely it would only bring suffering and pain for me to remember the horrible history that Eva Pellegrini has stored away? Ignoring my own instruction, I entered the church. I did not expect you to be here, nor anyone else... and I guess I was going to monologue. Didn't really matter who was listening to my words - God, myself, no-one - but all I know is that I required a question to ask: can a person change? That was what I wanted to ask when I initially arrived, I think, but when you came here, and you greeted me, I got my answer."
Eve turned to Father Angelo.
"No."
She stared into the eyes of the priest. She could tell he did not like that answer, and the thought process that Eve Taylor had begun. He wanted to say something but he allowed her to continue speaking.
"When I heard me enter, and saw me sitting here, you saw only Eva Pellegrini. The same little girl that came to every Sunday mass. Today is not Sunday. It is Saturday night. I am no longer a little girl. I am a grown woman. I do not go by the name of Eva. It is Eve Taylor now. Yet, you managed to see right through all of it, and see me for who I really am. But do you really know who I am, Father Angelo? Do you know who Eva Pellegrini was? Do you know who Eva Pellegrini is?"
The Father shakes his head. "Don't you mean who Eva Pellegrini was, and who Eve Taylor is? You said you were Eve Taylor now? I am quite confused."
"Eva Pellegrini was treated horribly when she was a child. It did not matter what Eva wanted to do; she was told she had to do exactly what her father told her to do. When I woke up, I could not pretend to be a princess or envision myself as a famous person. When I woke up, father told me I had to work on the farm, and anything else I did resulted in him yelling at me... and that was when he was in a good mood. I hated my life, and all I wanted to do when I grew up was be somebody else. Anyone else. Someone other than Eva Pellegrini. When that opportunity arose, I ran away from home, I abandoned my family and my old life, and created the Eve Taylor persona. I used that persona as my stage name when I was a model, and that name became my brand, and eventually, it became me. Everything I have ever done since I left home was to try and validate my own existence as Eve Taylor, and prove that Eve Taylor was the real person. Not Eva Pellegrini. As far as my fourteen year old self is concerned, I am living the dream. I have been living a FUCKING FAIRY TALE! I should be proud of myself that I was able to even have this opportunity, but I am not. I finally have the chance at the finals of the Gold Rush Tournament to prove to the entire world that Eve Taylor is legitimate, yet I feel more fragile than ever. I question myself. I doubt myself. I look myself in the mirror, and everything that I've done to create this image of Eve Taylor - all the evil things I've done - come back running through my head to remind me the price I had to pay to get what I wanted. I might be Eve Taylor, but I am not a good person."
Eve Taylor pauses for a moment. Father Angelo takes a moment to process. Before he can answer, Eve Taylor continues.
"And then there are men like John Constantine. A person who has been evil for as long as I've known him for. He's a former politician, you see. The antithesis of a good person. Every chance that man has gotten to find a way to the top, he's taken it. Never you mind how immoral or unethical the practice might be, Constantine will take that opportunity. He's deceived many people. He's manipulated many others. He's made questionable alliances and had those allies do his dirty work... all so he can find his way to the top. I truly believe he is the scum of the Earth, and nothing he does will ever change what I feel about him. Now, I am not suggesting that I am any better than he is, Father Angelo, because I am not. I have followed in the footsteps of Constantine before. I have read the book of John Constantine before, and I subscribed to his methods of practice before. I've been immoral. I've been unethical. I've formed alliances with questionable folk. I did the exact same things he did to achieve the exact same goals that he wished to complete. I've been in his shoes before, and I hate that I've done it...
"... but what I am most annoyed is that he wished for forgiveness. Can you imagine the gall of that man? After everything that has happened in his life, he wishes to repent for his sins, go to confession, have a clear conscience - you should know the whole bit by now, Father. He wants to do all of this. And for what reason? Because he feels guilty? Because he has a change of heart? Because he wants to change? No, that is not it, because people don't change. People can't have a change of heart. Constantine is guilty, and he wishes to manipulate the minds of the audience because Justin Cooper, the World champion, stole the questionable alliance he created, and by facing me, he gets the opportunity to take him down. He's doing the whole redemption storyline against Justin Cooper and his cronies, and he's telling us that it's because he wants everyone to know he is can be a good person. He wants to show the entire world that there is a good bone in his body, and he wants to leave the company, with the little time he has left, riding off into the sunset to a standing ovation."
Eve started laughing to herself. Father Angelo waited to see why she found that funny. Eve could tell he thought that Constantine's actions could be considered noble, but she did not blame Father Angelo for he always tried to find the good in everyone. It's what made him a great priest. Past tense.
"Constantine does not want redemption. He wants glory. He wants fame. He wants success. Sure, the story he is writing tells us that he gets to win the Gold Rush tournament, and become the leader who takes down his questionable alliance known as Vis Imperium. He gets to face the World champion, who is their leader, and remove the title from him, eventually dismantling it from within... and he will finish his career as the World champion, and the conquering hero who saved the company. Everybody will cheer. Everybody will applaud. And everybody will accept him as the next Hall of Fame inductee with open arms."
Father Angelo sits forward, re-positioning himself. Eve can tell he wishes to speak, and let's him talk.
"Forgive me, Eva... what has this got to do with you? I am hearing anger and frustration, but I also detect some jealousy in your voice? Do you envy him?"
Eve wanted to chuckle, but she held it back.
"You hear right, Father. I am jealous of John Constantine. He has created the type of brand, identity, and name that I have been seeking since I was given the freedom to not be Eva Pellegrini. I made the name Eve Taylor to do exactly what he has done... and John is about to do it. He is about to leave a lasting legacy of debauchery and lies with a cute little bow that says 'I saved WZCW', and the people will remember him forever for that. I can not allow that to happen. I can't let John Constantine walk past me at the Gold Rush tournament finals, and go on to have his moment in the spotlight as the conquering hero. That can't happen. He does not deserve to have that redemption."
"Why?"
"Because is an evil asshole who deserves nothing."
She pauses.
"What about me? What about my chance to prove myself? How about my story? I know I am not a good person. I have sacrificed friendships. I have sacrificed family. And I have sacrificed myself to get there... so why does John Constantine get that opportunity? I know I'm not a good person, but God dammit what about me? Constantine has had many opportunities in the past to proven himself a great person, yet time and time again, he fell back into his old habits. Every. Single. Time. Why should we trust him now? Because he says so? He has said so before, and he reverted back to his old self. He has had many opportunities to be World champion, even going so far as to win the title... why does he deserve another? Because his intentions are better than mine? He only wishes to win the championship because it will aid in the destruction of Vis Imperium, and my intentions to win the title is only because I want success?
"I disregard everything he says, Father. Everything. He has proven to me that people don't change. He will always be the sly, hate-filled villain that preys on the innocent and the gullible. Nothing he can say will convince me. Nothing he does will change my mind. I know who he is because I am exactly the same. The only difference between Constantine and myself is that I am intelligent enough to recognise who I am, and brave enough to wear the sins weighing heavy on my soul in my smile. When you see me, you know exactly who Eve Taylor is, and what she has done to get to this point. When Constantine smiles, he wants you to forget. I will make sure that nobody forgets who John Constantine truly is."
Eve Taylor stands up from the pew, and looks directly at the cross hanging on the wall. Father Angelo slowly gets to his feet with a look of concern on his face.
"I do not like where your mind is heading, child. I know you were hurt when you were a young one, and you want people to know you are good... but going down this path isn't the choice you should be making."
Eve turns to Father Angelo, looking into his eyes which fear for the life of Eva Pellegrini. She turns back to the cross of God, and looks into his condescending eyes. She stands tall and proud.
"The path you believe is good is the path you want me to take. Sounds like you did not listen to me at all, Father. I created Eve Taylor because I wanted to be free from instruction. I will not listen to you. I will follow my own path; the path I believe. I believe John Constantine does not deserve his day. I will not grant him his wish. I will go to the Gold Rush tournament finals, and I will take everything he has to throw at me. I will absorb it all, and I will not go down. He will fall before me, and I will go on to face the World Heavyweight champion. For once in my life, it is time for me to indulge myself... and I will do so at the expense of John Constantine."
Eve turns her back to the cross hanging on the wall, and begins walking down the church aisle. She feels confident in her steps, even wearing her stiletto's. The cracks in the ground do not bother her any more. She does not care for the straight and narrow. Eve Taylor likes the idea of playing with fire as she could slip into the cracks. This is how much it means for Eve Taylor to finally have her chance at the World championship. It has gotten to this point. In what feels like her final shot, she will take away the opportunity from Constantine and seize it for herself. She knows the risks. She knows the consequences of her actions. She knows she wants to win the Gold Rush tournament, and become the next World champion.