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Copeland:I don’t think Barbosa is very happy that someone stopped him from confronting Kravinoff.
Barbosa turns around and sees Holmes with the chair. Holmes looks at the chair and then shakes his head “no.” He shouts, “It wasn’t me.” But it is too late. Barbosa is enraged as he grabs the chair from Holmes and yanks it out of his hands. He slams it into the head of Holmes, who drops to the ground and rolls out of the ring. Celeste is there to help him as she quickly pulls him over to the announcer’s table to retrieve his world championship. However, Barbosa is already out of the ring and is there to greet them. Celeste rushes at him, but Barbosa nails her with a chair shot! The crowd is crazy as Barbosa proceeds to send a chair shot into the gut of Holmes.
Cohen:He has lost it!
Barbosa drops the chair and tucks Holmes’ head in-between his legs. The crowd is cheering wildly as Barbosa picks up Holmes and drops him into the announcer’s table!
Copeland:OH MY GOD! BARBOSA HAS JUST DROPPED THE WZCW WORLD CHAMPION INTO A TABLE VIA A POWERBOMB!
The crowd is roaring in approval as Barbosa stares coldly down at Holmes.
Copeland:WE HAVE TO CUT FOR A BREAK. WE HAVE TO GET THIS UNDER CONTROL!
Cohen:WHAT HAS HE DONE?!
The shot ends with Barbosa standing over the wreckage and the crowd roaring in the background as security and officials begin piling out from the back.
The crowd is buzzing within the arena as the video replay from Ascension 65 goes off of the titantron. Suddenly, a familiar song and video takes its place.
[YOUTUBE]e8WCwLwgPog[/YOUTUBE]
The crowd erupts in boos as Celeste Crimson storms out of the gorilla position with a rolled up piece of paper in her hand. She marches down the entrance ramp and scowls at the fans lining the ramp.
Connor:Well, we are wasting no time here on Ascension 65 as Celeste Crimson starts us off by storming from the back and making her way to the ring. Last night her boyfriend, Steven Holmes, suffered a devastating attack from the madman known as Barbosa.
Cohen:It was out of line and insulting to the men and women that come out here to complete on a bi-weekly basis. Barbosa should be suspended, maybe even fired!
If looks could kill, Celeste would have dropped the entire audience dead as she now stands in the middle of the ring with a microphone in her hand. The crowd is mildly booing as she raises the mic up to her lips.
Celeste:Meltdown 90 was a night that will live on in infamy. The fact that WZCW Management would allow someone like Barbosa to remain active on the roster even after what he did to my man is despicable. It is indicative of a biased and broken system!
The crowd boos at Celeste’s sharp words.
Celeste:Now, my man, the WZCW World Heavyweight Champion and face of this company, is lying in a hospital bed at this very moment and is robbed of being able to grace all of you with his presence.
The crowd scoffs at Celeste’s statement.
Celeste:Luckily he still has me here to represent him in his concerns and demands.
Celeste proceeds to unravel the paper that is in her hand. She clears her throats and begins.
Celeste:“Dear Beloved WZCW, It is I, Steven Holmes, writing to you.”
The crowd are extremely displeased with the presentation.
Celeste:“Unfortunately, I have been sidelined for the remainder of the week. However, while my body may be meek for the time being, my voice will be powerful and heard. Injustice has been done in WZCW, and retributions must be paid. First, the rat known as Drake Callahan. His interference in my match on WZCW was a defecation of my character. I therefore demand that his Lethal Lottery win be revoked and he be expunged from the Kingdom Come main-event.”
The crowd hates Callahan, but even they are repulsed by Holmes’ outrageous claims.
Celeste:“Second, the man who is a liability to us all, Barbosa. His off-the-wall actions have injured several superstars in the past and now have came at a great cost. Through his madness, he placed the reigning WZCW World Heavyweight Champion on the injury list and has jeopardized the main-event of Kingdom Come all-together. I therefore demand that action be swift and harsh. I am calling for the firing of Barbosa at this very moment and demand that my request be heard from the ears of management-”
The crowd boos heavily! Celeste has to speak up.
Celeste:“If my demands are not met, I will have no choice but to pursue leg-
The crowd comes unglued as “Showtime” David Cougar pops out of the gorilla position. He smiles and shakes his head at the silly requests everyone just had to hear.
Cohen:Great, what is he doing here! Celeste was just getting to the good parts!
Connor:David Cougar is clearly not amused by Holmes’ whining!
We see Showtime enter the ring and proceed to work the crowd as they continue to cheer. He finally asks for a microphone from an official and addresses Celeste. She does not seem amused at all.
Showtime:Man, even when Holmes is in the hospital he is still bitching!
The crowd pops at the cuss word! Celeste grows an even angrier look upon her face. Showtime just grins.
Showtime:Holmes is all about demands. Well, I think I can speak for everyone else here in NORTH DAKOTA!
The crowd pops.
Showtime:And say that we are sick and tired of hearing about his demands!
The crowd pops once again. Celeste holds up the letter from Holmes and points at it furiously, but Showtime just snags it and rips it! Celeste shakes her head in disbelief as the crowd goes wild. Celeste is about to attack Showtime, but he holds up his hands.
Showtime:Now wait a minute!
Celeste stops.
Showtime:Don’t you want to hear about my demand?
Celeste seems confused as the crowd responds with curious cheers.
Showtime:Last time I checked I still have a WZCW World Heavyweight Championship rematch clause!
The crowd really lights up as Celeste shakes her head “no.”
Cohen:Wait, what!?
Showtime:How would everyone feel if I demanded my rematch next week and robbed Steven Holmes of the WZCW World Heavyweight Championship and his spot in the main event at Kingdom Come!?
The crowd goes absolutely crazy as Celeste keeps shaking her head “no.”
Vance Bateman comes out on the entrance stage to some boos.
Bateman:Can’t let you do that Showtime!
The crowd boos.
Bateman:But I’ll get to you in a minute. Celeste-
The crowd cuts him off with boos.
Bateman:Trust me when I say that WZCW Management is extremely sorry about what happened to Holmes. Our thoughts go out to him and please let him know that I will do everything in my power to make sure justice is dealt promptly.
The crowd is displeased with Bateman’s response.
Bateman:Now, I’m sorry but Drake Callahan will not be stripped of his Lethal Lottery win. Also, I do not have it in my power to remove Barbosa from our roster. That is a decision that has to be made by all of the general managers in unison. However, I can give you a taste at revenge Celeste. I can give you and Holmes both that, because next round it will be Steven Holmes and Celeste Crimson vs. Technosa!
The crowd pops, but Celeste isn’t sure what to make of the news she just received.
Bateman:If that doesn’t not satisfy your appetite Celeste, come see me and we will discuss further measures. Now, as for you Showtime.
The crowd pops at the sound of his name. Showtime grins as he looks up at Bateman.
Bateman:I cannot allow you to challenge Holmes for the title next round. Both Holmes and Callahan have already signed contracts that guarantee their spot in the main-event will not be compromised.
The crowd boos.
Bateman:However, if you can beat Celeste tonight in our main-event, the WZCW Board will honour your request at a rematch. But, you won’t get it during next round. It’ll be against Steven Holmes and Drake Callahan in the main-event at Kingdom Come V!
The crowd goes wild as Showtime just smiles.
Celeste:HEY!
The crowd goes deadly silent as Celeste screams in the microphone.
Celeste:I beat Drake Callahan last week and tonight I am going to beat Showtime. If I win the match, then what happens.
Celeste stares down Bateman up on the stage. Bateman hesitates and seems to be actually thrown off by Celeste’ interjection.
Bateman:If that happens... we will just cross that bridge when it gets here.
With that, Bateman’s music begins to play as he exits to the back. We see Showtime and Celeste staring at each other intensely in the ring as the crowd buzzes in the arena.
Connor:Ladies and gentlemen, you heard it first here on Ascension 65. If Showtime beats Celeste tonight, he will be inserted into the Kingdom Come main-event for the WZCW World Championship!
Cohen:But, if Celeste wins then who knows what will happen!
Connor:What an exciting way to kick off our show tonight, don’t go away! Ascension as only begun!
The last shot we get is of Celeste staring at Showtime as he exits the ring.
Anderson: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
[YOUTUBE]5t_e-j05Pb0[/YOUTUBE]
Anderson: Introducing first, from Somewhere Up a Hill, weighing 350 pounds, The Big Bad Bear, Grizzly Bob!
Grizzly Bob's music hits, accompanied by the growl of a bear and bright green and yellow lighting. Bob comes strolling down the ramp, high-fiving kids and lifting a few over his head. He takes off his flannel shirt, slingshots himself over the top rope, tosses his beanie into the crowd and lets out an almighty roar while beating his chest.
Connor:Grizzly Bob is one of the brighter newcomers in WZCW, and he, like so many others, has found himself inexplicably wound up in the increasingly odd saga of Krypto and Mister Alhazred.
Cohen:It's probably the strangest feud I've ever seen in WZCW, and it's no surprise that it's attracted other freaks of nature, like Grizzly Bob here.
[YOUTUBE]_zlgzWZSN0Y[/YOUTUBE]
Anderson: And his opponent, from Out of this World, the Sexual Savior of the Solar System.....Krrrypto!
The lights go out in the arena, two spotlights pan around the people until one of them finds Krypto entering the arena through the crowd. He is then picked up by a helpful fan and proceeds to crowd surf until he is passed over the barricade, he then runs around the ring hyping up the crowd, showing off his pelvic thrusts and his mighty, mighty Power Glove.
Cohen:It continually blows my mind, to this day, that someone signed Krypto to a contract and thought it was a good idea.
Connor:It's funny, I've heard other say the same thing about you, Jack...
Referee Elizabeth Prince wrangles Krypto into the ring, after rolling her eyes at his continues pelvic thrusting. Krypto subtly slips on the power glove, and as is traditional, through a little known loophole in Alhazred's contract, it is ignored. Grizzly Bob looks on with a half grin on his face, looking in parts bemused and amused, but he shrugs his shoulders as the bell rings and we are underway. Krypto charges right at Bob and Bob drops to a knee, and uses his opponent's momentum to toss him over his shoulders and slam him down to the mat. Krypto hits the mat face down and Bob gets over him, hooks an arm, and drags him to his feet. The wild man yells and hurls Krypto up and over the ropes, crashing on the outside! Bob waits for Krypto to get to his own feet and slide into the ring, where he meets him with stomps that keep the alien grounded. Grizzly Bob pulls Krypto to his feet once more and tries to toss him outside the ring again, but Krypto keeps himself low, and is able to rebound off the ropes and turn the momentum back on Bob, sending the big man to the mat! Both of them are on their feet at the same time and Bob throws a clothesline, Krypto ducks underneath, he leaps onto the ropes and sprinboards, hits a hurricanrana! Bob stumbles to a knee and Krypto pulls him up by the arm, and lays into his chest with high kicks. Krypto pulls Bob across the ring with him, climbs up to the top turnbuckle, but Bob shrugs away from him - and Krypto crotches himself on the top rope! He collapses into the ring holding his precious alien jewels as the sexual salvation of the universe has never been in greater jeopardy!
Connor:I don't know if any move could have been more devastating to Krypto, frankly.
Cohen:Oh, I think a good sharp blow to the head would still be worse. Let's hope we find out.
Bob takes a breather and wipes his mouth before going after Krypto again, stomping on him near the corner. Bob pulls Krypto to his feet, elevates him high into the air, holding him up with the Gorilla press...and he slams him down across his knees with a gutbuster! Bob forgoes the cover, instead slowly pulling Krypto to his feet and locking in an abdominal stretch. Krypto desperately fights out of it by elbowing Bob with his free arm, then he hits the ropes, rebounds - but Bob counters it with a jumping DDT! He goes for the cover and gets one, two, but only two! He gets back to his feet, stomps Krypto once, then hits the ropes, rebounds, leaps and drops a knee on Krypto! He goes for the cover and gets one, two, but only two! Bob wastes no time in pulling Krypto to his feet and locking in the abdominal stretch once more. Krypto struggles with it for a good while, looks like he might tap, referee Prince is asking but he is shaking his head. He finally gets out of with a quick front jawbreaker, he doesn't get all of it but he gets a little separation and retreats to the corner. Bob takes a moment to gather himself and charges - Krypto gets a leg up, staggers Bob back! Krypto charges quickly, hits a rapid flurry of chops, he hits the ropes, leaps and springboards, nails a flying forearm smash on the big man! Krypto hits the ropes again, Bob is quickly on his feet, Bob throws a clothesline, Krypto ducks under, springboards again, this time wipes him out with a crossbody! He goes for the cover and gets one, two, but only two!
Connor:This is the pace Krypto wants to work at to get a win tonight.
Cohen:It is worth remembering that Grizzly Bob has held his own with agile superstars in the past, so maybe he'll catch up here.
Krypto gets to his feet and pulls Bob up with him - as best he can, taking a while to get the big man to his feet. Bob is able to shrug Krypto off of him and Krypto hits the mat, rolls to the outside and gets up. Bob growls and charges him, Krypto gets a leg up and kicks him square in the face! Krypto takes a moment to show off his Power Glove, and the devastating dastardly device has been fully powered! Krypto springboards in and nails Bob in the face with it, totally wiping out the big man! Krypto rapidly scrambles to the corner, ascends the top rope, he leaps off and NAILS THE FLYING SAUCER! He covers and gets one, two, and three!
Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, Krypto!
Krypto raises his Power Gloved hand to the sky as Grizzly Bob clutches at his gut. Referee Prince lifts Krypto's other hand as the little alien celebrates his win.
Connor:A quick and rapidly paced contest and the Power Glove proved to be the difference for Krypto. You can certainly see why Mister Alhazred wants it back so desperately.
Cohen:I'm telling you, someone really needs to revise that contract, it's a mess. Provisions for baskets of pickles to be delivered to his locker room, the right to bring a sex doll on road trips, and the Power Glove is legal? Who signed Alhazred to that deal?
Connor:Well, probably the same person who signed Krypto.
[YOUTUBE]JOaWQ0BGIBE[/YOUTUBE]
Connor:Oh, this doesn't bode well...
Mister Alhazred is quickly charging down the ring...and he's followed the SMASHER OF SPINES, THE CRUSHER OF FACES, FACECRUSH MCSPINESMASHER!
Cohen:Good, let's get the whole pack of freaks out here, shall we?
Alhazred is barking orders at Facecrush, who for once looks focused. He is almost in the ring before he mistakes a small child's head for a chocolate doughnut, but fortunately Alhazred is able to return him to task. Krypto looks at them warily but doesn't back down as Alhazred cuts off his escape route. Facecrush climbs into the ring and the alien swings with the Power Glove! But the mightiest of all men is, indeed, the facecrushiest of facecrushers, Facecrush McSpinesmasher, and therefore the Power Glove is like the bite of a flea to such a man. Facecrush grabs Krypto by the throat and casually, no doubt contemplating how fine it is to smash a spine, chokeslams Krypto. Alhazred clambers into the ring behind him stomps on his face a few times, just for good measure, before he drops to one knee and steals back his power glove. He raises it to the sky and then clutches it to his chest like a small child, before demanding a microphone from ringside. He gets it, and still clutching the Power Glove to his chest, begins to speak.
Alhazred:Ahem....ahem....NOW THAT THE POWER GLOVE IS MINE, YOU ALIEN FREAK...
He is interrupted by a screaming Facecrush.
Facecrush:FACECRUSH RECOMMEND INSIDE VOICE!
His hair blown back by the sheer intensity of Facecrusher's most mighty spine smashing voice, Alhazred does indeed lower his voice.
Alhazred:As I was saying...now that the power glove has been returned to me, its rightful owner, I have no reason not to kill you, Krypto.
Alhazred smiles evilly as all the women and children of the crowd gasp in fear, while the men only smolder with rage, knowing that if they interfered their spines would be irrevocably smashed.
Alhazred:EXCEPT....for one! The lovely, the sensuous, the beautiful...Missy!
Alhazred does a grotesque pelvic thrust. Facecrush, for his part, looks duly embarrassed. Thought that may, in fact, be gas.
Alhazred:For reasons I cannot understand, Missy has left me for this little alien freak, and I want an explanation. So Krypto will live...if Missy provides me with an explanation for her actions in two weeks time, live on WZCW.
Alhazred drops the mic and exits the ring. Halfway up the ramp, he realizes Facecrush hasn't followed him and yells at the Master Smasher to follow him. After a brief look of bewilderment, the mightiest of all men, who graduated community college with a GPA of Smash.0, follows Alhazred meekly.
[YOUTUBE]MabuNr-wQkk[/YOUTUBE]
Their exit is interrupted the arrival of Vance Bateman!
Bateman:Now listen, this is getting to be absolutely preposterous. Aliens, freaks, giant men, power gloves, pickles...WZCW is better than this nonsense. Myself, Big Dave, and Chuck Myles are all agreed that we are sick and tired of this ridiculous feud of yours.
Alhazred licks his lips as he contemplates Bateman's words.
Bateman:So I am going to be sure that this ends one way or another...at Kingdom Come, where Mister Alhazred and Krypto will face off one on one...in a Power Glove on a pole match!
The crowd pops for the announcement of a new Kingdom Come match as Alhazred's eyes look ready to pop out of his head. He tries to bring the mic to his mouth and find the words to express his rage, but Bateman stares him down as we go to commercial.
Connor:Welcome back ladies and gentlemen, we are moments away from a grudge match that has been a long time coming. Former student takes on former master as Derek Jacobs takes on Grand Mystique.
Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Anderson: Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing 285 pounds, he is Dr. Pain: Derek Jacobs!
Jacobs emerges from behind the curtain to a mixed reaction. He raises his arms at the top of the ramp, the crowd still a mix of cheers and boos. He makes his way to the ring, slapping hands with a single fan, before rolling into the ring.
Connor:Derek Jacobs, who has had a recent change of heart, looking to pick up a big win over his former mentor tonight.
Cohen:He made a mistake if you ask me. Mystique and Westhoff were on a roll and he turns his back on them? I hope his punishment is swift.
Anderson: And his opponent, from The Deepest, Darkest Corner of the Universe, weighing 364 pounds, The Grand Mystique!
After a few seconds the lights go off, but the music continues to the arena. Spotlights come up and shine down on all four corners of the ring. The lights returns and the music starts back up again. GM is in ring, sitting on a turnbuckle. He is facing in the ring with his arms outstretched and back towards the crowd.
Cohen:Be honest Cat, why would anyone leave the tutelage of a man like Mystique? Better teachers are few and far between.
Connor:Maybe Jacobs saw the error of his ways. Maybe he was tired of being a pawn. For whatever reason it may be, I think he made the right call.
Cohen:Guess we will have to agree to disagree Cat. I think we can both agree though, neither of us will be envious of Elizabeth Prince tonight.
The ref calls for the bell and the two men waste no time, meeting in the center of the ring. They begin to trade shots back and forth. Heavy blow after heavy blow hands from each man, neither backing down. Finally Jacobs ducks a hay maker and tugs at the mask of Mystique, throwing him off balance. He takes the opportunity to hit a knee to the gut and a double axe handle to the back. Mystique falls to a knee, allowing Jacobs to hit a running boot to the face. Mystique rolls to his back, and Jacobs follows it up with an elbow drop. He jumps into an early cover...
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And Mystique kicks out.
Cohen:Looks like Jacobs isn't completely on the straight and narrow, using his opponent's mask to his advantage.
Connor:For a few moments I thought this was going to turn into a heavy weight slug fest. Fans of the Sweet Science surely enjoyed that opening sequence.
Jacobs keeps up the pressure with some stomps to his grounded foe. He takes a few steps back before hitting a leg drop. He stands and drops another elbow, again attempting a pin...
1
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And again, Mystique kicks out.
Connor:Jacobs still in control, working over Mystique with quick but powerful moves.
Cohen:Credit where credit is due, but he needs to do more to put this one away.
Jacobs begins to lift Mystique, but the sheer size of the masked villain makes it a chore. When Jacobs finally gets his opponent to his feet, Mystique lands an unseen knee to the family jewels, allowing him to take control. He Irish whips Jacobs into the ropes and flips him high into the air with a back body drop. Jacobs gets to his feet and charges, but he runs into a reverse atomic drop. Mystique follows it up with a clothesline, putting Jacobs down. The leader of The Sacrificial Altar kneels beside Jacobs and starts to deliver vicious punches to the forehead, threatening to split the former collegiate athlete wide open. Referee Elizabeth Prince gets to a count of four before Mystique slams Jacobs' head hard to the canvas. As she tries to warn Mystique to follow her rules, he stares her down, towering over her. This allows Jacobs to hit a low blow of his own. Mystique doubles over in pain as Jacobs takes a moment to catch his breath and check his forehead for blood. As both men get back to their feet they again trade blows. A swift kick to the chest allows Mystique to grab the upper hand this time around. He follows it up with a snapmare, leaving Jacobs on his behind. He follows it up with a stiff kick to the spine, the crowd letting out a gasp at the sound. Mystique runs into the ropes, rebounding off and hitting a dropkick to the side of Jacobs' head. He goes to cover his opponent...
1
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2
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And Jacobs kicks out!
Connor:Jacobs isn't out yet, but this one may not continue much longer.
Mystique shakes his head as he lifts his opponent to his feet. He Irish whips him hard into the corner, then takes a running start and leaps, landing back first into Jacobs. Jacobs collapses, but Mystique raises him back to his feet. He lifts him over his head, preparing to hit The Hand of Prophecy! He slams Jacobs down hard and rolls him over, hooking the leg for the cover!
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3! NO! The referee informs Mystique that Jacobs had his foot on the ropes. The two begin to argue over the call.
Cohen:She should have just given Mystique the win. No way Jacobs is coming back from that one.
Connor:Hard to see Jacobs coming back after such a devastating move, but this pointless arguing may allow Jacobs time to recover and.....wait what is this?
During the argument, Mystique signals to the back and three men emerge from either side of the ramp. Mason Westhoff and DC on one side and a hooded figure on the other. Jacobs has managed to get to his knees, but all four sides of the ring are covered.
Connor:Derek Jacobs in a tight spot, he could use a miracle here.
[YOUTUBE]4urONwPHnp0[/YOUTUBE]
As if on cue, Strikeforce come charging from the back, accompanied by Ricky Runn. Chaos begins to ensue as Westhoff and DC meet Stormrage at the foot of the ramp. The rotund nerd uses his head of steam to barrel through both men. Runn and Howard leap over the pile, going in separate directions around the ring. Runn runs up the ring steps and takes out the hooded figure with a cross body, while Howard grabs a chair from the timekeepers area and slides into the ring. He takes a mighty swing and cracks the chair across the back of Mystique. The referee calls for the bell before she wisely exits the ring.
Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner as a result of a disqualification, Grand Mystique!
Connor:Mystique officially the winner here, but I don't think any of that matters at this point.
Cohen:I love a good out and out brawl, and I have a feeling we are gonna get a good one.
Howard drops the chair and helps Jacobs to his feet. As the two try to exit the ring, Mystique stands, chair in hand. Mikey quickly jumps onto the apron, shoving Howard to the ground just in time. The chair connects with Jacobs however, leaving an impression in the seat the same shape as the back of Jacobs' head. Mikey pulls Howard from the ring and quickly tries to retreat up the ramp. Howard however shoves him away and turns to check on Jacobs.
Stormrage:Come on!
Howard:No, he needs us!
The two exchange stern looks before Mikey shakes his head and walks back up the ramp. Before Howard is able to return to the fight Westhoff and DC are on their feet. Ricky again runs up the steel steps in an attempt to launch himself into battle but he slips and hits his head on the ring post. Mystique slides out of the ring and is joined by the hooded figure. The four men surround Howard, who does his best to fight them off. The numbers game proves too much, and they begin to beat Howard down. Westhoff holds back the arms of the former mixed martial artist and DC kicks him hard in the stomach. The hooded figure follows it up with a knife edge chop across the chest. Finally Mystique sizes up a punch to the face. Westhoff allows Howard to fall, kicking him in the ribs for good measure. As the four begin to walk away Jacobs begins to stir and Mystique stops. He orders Westhoff to retrieve his former tag partner while DC and the hooded figure pull the ringside padding back. Westhoff drags Jacobs by his hair to Mystique, who lifts him and plants him down on the exposed concrete with the Hand of Prophecy! Not satisfied, Mystique grabs Westhoff by the shoulder and points to Howard. DC and the hooded figure drag Howard to the top of the ramp. They position him on the edge of the stage, each man holding him up. Westhoff looks apprehensive, but Mystique orders him again. Westhoff charges and connects with Divine Intervention off the stage!
Cohen:The Sacrificial Altar have made a statement here tonight! Derek Jacobs and James Howard are lying in broken heaps!
Connor:Just as it appeared that Strikeforce was going to pull one over on their rivals, Mikey Stormrage walked out. Why would he walk out on his best friend?
Cohen:He is a coward Cat. His true colors are finally showing. He played the tough guy as long as he could, but the armor is starting to crack.
Anderson: The following contest is set for one fall! And it is for the Elite X Championship!
[YOUTUBE]kIlTOoa0L2I[/YOUTUBE]
S.H.I.T. emerges from backstage and does a quick analysis of its environment. Once he has deduced that it is safe for him to continue, the mechanical marvel makes its way to the ring.
Cohen:Well we got this whacko here, but where is the other whacko?
Connor:I can only assume that you are referring to S.H.I.T.’s tag team partner, Barbosa. If what we saw happen earlier is any indication, it looks like Barbosa is going to sit this one out.
Cohen:Ohhhh how cute, Barbosa can’t stand to see his best-friend with a new buddy. As far as I’m concerned, Hunter Kravinoff upgraded, and Barbosa is going to need to accept that.
S.H.I.T. has already entered the ring and is currently waiting in its corner, eyes set on the entrance ramp.
[YOUTUBE]c-OeaRnQrs0[/YOUTUBE]
Constantine slowly emerges onto the top of the ramp, head bowed down, his Elite X Championship displayed proudly around his waist. After a few moments he raises his head, throws his arms to the side, and poses as his pyro marks his arrival. After this grandiose display is through, Hunter Kravinoff meets his partner at the top of the ramp. Constantine puts his arm around Hunter and the two begin to walk to the ring.
Connor:They seem awfully chummy.
Cohen:I’m sure they’re talking strategy right now, CC, which is exactly the type of thing Kravinoff needs. Barbosa would lead him on congo lines through fast food restaurants; Constantine will make him a winner!
Kravinoff runs ahead and hops onto the apron where he holds the ropes open for Constantine. Constantine nods his head before entering the ring, at which point he climbs the nearest turnbuckle and poses with his belt one last time before the match is set to begin. He dismounts the turnbuckle and leans in his corner.
Anderson: Introducing first: the challenger, from Mechanical Mecca, weighing 230 pounds, S.H.I.T.!
The crowd cheers for the favorite in this match, “We like S.H.I.T.! We like S.H.I.T.! We like S.H.I.T.!”
Anderson: And its opponent: from The King's Court, weighing 265 pounds, Constantine, he is your Elite X Champion… CONSTANTIIIIIINE!
A large portion of the crowd starts to book Constantine, but the “We like S.H.I.T.!” chants are still very audible.
Constantine and Kravinoff meet official Elizabeth Prince in the middle of the ring, and S.H.I.T. follows suit. Kravinoff takes the Elite X Championship off from around Constantine’s waist and hands it to the referee. She shows the title to S.H.I.T. and then back to Constantine before raising it so the entire WZCW universe can see what’s at stake. While Price hands the belt to a ring hand, the two competitors go back to their corners, Kravinoff leaves the ring. Price calls for the bell, and the match is set to being.
*Ding ding ding*
S.H.I.T. and Constantine meet in the middle of the ring and lock each other into an elbow and collar tie-up. It doesn’t take long for S.H.I.T. to get the better of its opponent, transitioning Constantine into a side headlock. S.H.I.T. immediately starts punching its opponent’s head, but Constantine uses his strength to push S.H.I.T. off and into the ropes. S.H.I.T. rebounds at Constantine and as he’s running… he raises its hand for a Piston Chop! But Constantine sees it coming and dives out of the way and into the safety of a corner. S.H.I.T. heads towards the corner to unleash more offense, but Constantine manages to fend off the mechanical man with several punches to the midsection. This backs S.H.I.T. off temporarily, allowing Constantine to get to his feet, but he’s in for a nasty surprise as S.H.I.T. charges at Constantine and hits him with a running knee attack in the corner. Constantine stumbles forward, dazed, and S.H.I.T. capitalizes with a neckbreaker from behind. Constantine crashes to the mat and S.H.I.T. makes the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
The crowd is disappointed by the kickout, but are still excited to see S.H.I.T. in control of the match.
Connor:S.H.I.T. is off to an amazing start here as Constantine is struggling out of the gate.
Cohen:Constantine’s style is that of absorb and adapt. He’ll take some punishment at the beginning to determine his opponent’s game plan, and then he counters that with a plan of his own.
Despite what Cohen said, Constantine does not seem to be ready to launch his counter attack as he struggles to get to his feet. He reaches a knee before S.H.I.T. hits Constantine with a kick to the face, sending him back to the mat. Constantine isn’t down for long as he scrambles to his feet, but S.H.I.T. is right behind him and quickly wraps its arms around Constantine’s waist, heaving him upwards and backwards for a German suplex! S.H.I.T. bridges the suplex and has Constantine pinned.
ONE!
TWO!
TWO AND A HALF!
KICKOUT!
Constantine gets out in the nick of time, but his problems have only just begun. S.H.I.T. quickly moves on its prone opponent and begins to lock on the Industrial Strength Vice! Constantine is struggling and flailing around, making it difficult for S.H.I.T. to lock on the full hold, but the hold S.H.I.T. has Constantine in is still deadly, and the rope is still a foot away from Constantine’s outstretched arm! It looks like it is only a matter of time before S.H.I.T. has the full submission applied and Constantine will have nowhere to go… but a hand grabs Constantine’s wrist and pulls him to the rope! The referee sees this and has words with Kravinoff, but the hold must be broken. S.H.I.T. releases the hold and stands up to stare down Kravinoff. Hunter climbs onto the apron and gets into S.H.I.T.’s face, taunting him and calling him rude names. S.H.I.T. stands stationary, seemingly unresponsive to Kravinoff… BUT SUDDENLY SWINGS HIS HAND RIGHT INTO KRAVINOFF’S SKULL! PISTON CHOP! KRAVINOFF IS DOWN! And Constantine capitalizes on the distraction by rolling S.H.I.T. up!
ONE!
TWO!
TWO AND THREE QUARTERS!
KICKOUT!
S.H.I.T. is quickly back up but Constantine has caught a second wind and levels his opponent with a lariat. Constantine takes advantage my mounting S.H.I.T. and throwing punch after punch at S.H.I.T.’s head. The radical robot covers up in an attempt to avoid any further damage to its processors, but even this extra defense is likely not enough to stop the power of Constantine. Constantine dismounts his opponent but locks in a facelock.
Cohen:What did I tell you CC? Absorb and adapt!
Connor:And Constantine can thank Kravinoff for helping him gain this unfair advantage... after he comes to anyway.
Cohen:Well what did you think Kravinoff was out here to do? Wave a pair of pompoms and root for the home team? He’s here to help Constantine win by any means necessary!
Constantine has had the facelock applied for nearly half a minute now, and the crowd is growing restless. “S.H.I.T. S.H.I.T. S.H.I.T. S.H.I.T. S.H.I.T. S.H.I.T.!” the audience chants their hero’s name in rapid fire. S.H.I.T. seems to be responding to it as it is slowly able to get to its knees… then to its feet… it’s finally standing upright as Constantine struggles to hold onto the facelock! S.H.I.T. fires an elbow into Constantine’s gut, but the hold is still on! S.H.I.T. fires another elbow, Constantine is holding on for dear life! One more elbow from S.H.I.T. and the hold is broken! S.H.I.T. hits the ropes and explodes off of them, running towards Constantine and levling him with a clothesline! Constantine is back to his feet, but S.H.I.T. is now rebounding off the other rope and hits Constantine with another clothesline! Constantine climbs back to his feet, but S.H.I.T. hits the ropes one more time and is flying at its opponent with a full head of steam… but Constantine catches his opponent and puts it to the mat with a spinning spinebuster!
Connor:OH MY GOODNESS! What a counter by John Constantine! Axis of Evil!
Constantine quickly pounces on S.H.I.T. for a pin.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
A loud moan can be heard from the audience as Constantine…
WAIT! NO! Referee Elizabeth Prince is waving her arms wildly before holding up two fingers! S.H.I.T. got its shoulder up a fraction of a second before her hand hit the mat! Constantine gets right into Prince’s face, but Prince will not back down, pointing to the WZCW logo on her shirt and reminding Constantine that she is in charge of the match. Constantine yells in frustration and starts pacing around the ring wildly.
Connor:It looks like Constantine is starting to lose it. What will he have to do to put S.H.I.T. down for good?
Cohen:He's so close! He just needs to mount one more heavy assault and this match is his!
Constantine has made his way over to S.H.I.T. and stomps him a few times before backing off. “Come on! Get up!” Constantine appears to be yelling at his opponent, and S.H.I.T. seems to be obliging. Constantine licks his lips, ready to strike. S.H.I.T. reaches its feet, and Constantine moves forward and throw a vicious punch that sends S.H.I.T. staggering backwards. But S.H.I.T. returns the favor with knife-edge chop across Constantine’s chest!
Constantine throws a punch that sends S.H.I.T. staggering.
BOO!
S.H.I.T. hits another knife-edge chop.
YAY!
A punch from Constantine.
BOO!
A chop from S.H.I.T.
YAY!
A punch from Constantine… but it’s blocked! S.H.I.T. catches Constantine’s arm and counters with a punch of his own! S.H.I.T. throws another punch, and another, and with each punch the audience roars in approval! Soon enough S.H.I.T. has Constantine backed up against the ring ropes, and it is at this time that S.H.I.T. throws a heavy European uppercut… and it knocks Constantine silly, sending him halfway over the top rope. Constantine starts to fall back into the ring, but S.H.I.T. uses this as an advantage and simply dumps its opponent to the floor! S.H.I.T. staggers backwards and looks around, possibly running calculations on what its next move should be, or possibly enjoying the reaction it is getting from the WZCW faithful.
“We like S.H.I.T.! We like S.H.I.T.! We like S.H.I.T.!”
S.H.I.T. backs up a few steps before turning and hitting the ring ropes. It’s charging towards the side of the ring where it just recently dumped Constantine. Could it be looking to hit a high risk move?! S.H.I.T. is nearly ready to spring…
[YOUTUBE]3BeKhlUzPUc[/YOUTUBE]
S.H.I.T. stops dead in its tracks. It turns around to face the entrance way, scanning for new elements in the battlefield. It stands there, prepared for any potential interference.
Meanwhile, on the outside of the ring, Kravinoff appears to be awake and has crawled over to Constantine. Hunter helps his partner to his feet and Constantine gingerly rolls back into the ring.
S.H.I.T. is still looking towards the entrance ramp as Constantine attempts to sneak up on him. The music suddenly cuts, and S.H.I.T. turns around to see Constantine approaching… but it’s too late! S.H.I.T. is caught completely off guard and Constantine lifts him up and puts him down with Collateral Damage! Constantine rolls into the pin attempt.
ONE!
TWO!
TWO AND A HALF!
THREE!
There is no doubt about it this time, Constantine has gotten the three count.
Anderson: Your winner, and STILL Elite X Champion, John… CONSTANTIIIIINE!
Constantine has his hand raised by the referee as Kravinoff brings him his title. Constantine drapes the title over his shoulder and puts his arm around Hunter.
Connor: Constantine and Kravinoff both look a little worse for wear after that match, and might not be walking away as the victors if it wasn’t for that odd distraction. Why would Wasabi Toyota’s music play though? He hasn’t been seen around WZCW in almost a year!
Cohen:It doesn’t matter, CC. John Constantine is a winner, and he displayed it again with this match tonight. It’s like I was saying, he…
Connor:Say, “absorb and adapt,” one more time and I’ll strangle you with your own boa.
Cohen:He’s a great champion! I was going to say that he’s a great champion! Sheesh!
S.H.I.T. has recovered and is trudging up the ramp. Constantine and Kravinoff are still in the ring as Constantine compliments Kravinoff on a job well done.
Connor: Regardless, Constantine retains his Elite X Championship in fantastic fashion here on Ascension! We have plenty of action yet to come tonight, so stay tuned everybody!
We cut to commercial, but instead get static.
???: This is not a test of the emergency broadcast system.
Faces of people in horrible pain flash in rapid succession across the screen before settling on a blurred image. The image gradually becomes clearer until we see The Sacrificial Altar standing at attention. D.C. and Mason Westhoff stand at attention in the foreground while Grand Mystique stands in the background, elevated above them.
Grand Mystique:Despite a few setback within the past couple of weeks, The Sacrificial Altar remains a strong, cohesive unit, bent on dominating WZCW and bringing this world into enlightenment, even if that means dragging you kicking and screaming.
More images flash across the screen, this time of people being dragged out of their homes by armed forces.
Grand Mystique:The End is nigh my children, and it starts at Kingdom Come! When our final preparations are complete and we show to you what we are truly capable of, you will cower in fear and beg for forgiveness, and I shall grant it to you... but only if you repent.
Images of medieval torture devices flash across the screen.
Grand Mystique:Repent to the Almighty and beg for His forgiveness, and perhaps you shall receive it! It is not too late for you, but it is too late for Strikeforce. At Kingdom Come we will act as the Almighty's sword and shield and smite Strikeforce with fury of one million exploding suns, and you shall watch as you see His power manifest itself in amazing ways.
The camera has a closeup on a beautiful tea set in the middle of the ring. The gold trimmed tea cups are set atop of a lace table cloth, and on the table is a tray of delicious looking pastries to accompany the tea. It is the prefect image of class.
Saboteur:Welcome to tea time with Saboteur and Action Saxton!
The camera cuts to reveal that there are two people seated at the table: Action Saxton, and Saboteur. Saboteur is wearing a top hat, and Action Saxton is wearing a very large bowler hat, and both are wearing blazers over their normal garb. In addition to the tag team champions, a life-sized Chinese sex doll is seated at the table next to Saboteur.
Saboteur:I am your host for this tea party, Saboteur, and I am joined by my partner, Action Saxton…
The crowd cheers for the duo and Saxton tips his hat to the crowd to acknowledge their appreciation.
Saboteur:As well as my lady friend, Chelsea. Forgive her for not talking; she’s very shy.
A few audience members can be heard whistling at Chelsea whom, while lifeless, is a very attractive looking doll.
Saboteur:The point of this tea party is simple, really. As many of you know, Action Saxton and I have always prided ourselves on bringing a certain level of, well, sophistication to the tag team division. Isn’t that right, Saxton?
Saxton:Indeed.
Saboteur:And as such, we would like to make sure our upcoming match with Rush and Sam Smith is as above board and classy as possible. With that, I would like to invite our future opponents down to the ring.
A few moments pass…
Sam Smith and Rush emerge on the top of the stage in t-shirts and trunks. They look a little puzzled, but they make their way to the ring nonetheless. The fans give them an icy reception as they walk down the ramp, but the two of them don’t seem to mind. The duo climbs into the ring and are about to sit down in their chairs when Saboteur stops them.
Saboteur:Gentlemen, as pleased as I am that you were able to make our party, I must advise you that we have a dress code. Isn’t that right, Saxton?
Saxton:Indeed.
Saboteur:Fortunately, I brought extra blazers and hats for you just in case.
Saboteur reaches under the table and pulls out a pair of blazers as well as two hats: a fez and a propeller hat with a WZCW logo on it. Smith and Rush slide into the blazers and grab a hat (the fez for Rush, the propeller hat for Sam Smith) before taking a seat at the table. Saboteur soon joins them and sits between Saxton and Chelsea while Smith and Rush are across the table from him.
Saboteur:Excellent! Welcome to our tea party sirs, may I offer to fill your cups.
Smith:Look Saboteur, we’re not here to drink your tea or eat or pastries or anything, we’re hear to let you know what’s going to happen in our match tonight.
Saboteur:Cutting right to the chase then? Fantastic! This will save us lots of time, won’t it Saxton?
Saxton:Indeed.
Smith:We are going to destroy you in our match tonight. It’s clowns like you that are ruining this company, and it’s people like us that are going to save it.
Saboteur:Hmmm, this sounds like a familiar premise. And how exactly do you plan on stopping us?
Rush:Because we understand you and have the means with which to crush you.
Smith:And we have an honorable goal, whereas all you have is your insane notions of being worthy champions.
Saxton clenches the table and stands up from his chair in anger.
Saboteur:Oh my, this is not how I expected this to go at all! Saxton, why don’t you sit down, we should treat our guests civilly.
Saxton slowly sits down, but still looks on at Sam Smith very angrily.
Smith:Oh, before I forget, we brought you something.
Sam Smith reaches in his pocket and pulls out a black armband with the initial CO on it.
Smith:These are armbands Rush and I had made to commemorate the life of Master Chop Onion. You may have noticed that we’re both wearing them now.
Smith and Rush take off their blazers and point to the black armbands. The camera cuts to Saxton whose face is growing increasingly red with anger.
Smith:Here, Saxton, this one is for you.
Smith reaches the armband towards Saxton, and Saxton reaches to take it… but Smith quickly pulls it back and throws it to the ground and stomps on it. He looks at Saxton and smiles.
Smith:Whoopsie.
Saxton explodes up from his seat and flips the table over, sending the beautiful tea set crashing to the floor. Saboteur immediately jumps in front of his partner to hold him back.
Saboteur:Okay, well, clearly this tea party was not my best idea. How about we just forgo an ugly brawl now and save our fighting for our match. How’s that sound to everyone?
Smith and Rush look at each other and smile, happy to know that they managed to get under Action Saxton’s skin. The two remove their hats and drop them on the ground and go to exit the ring whilst Saboteur gets between the pair and Saxton, trying to separate them. However, whilst Saboteur's back is turned, the two men instantly turn around and go for an ambush. Saxton throws Saboteur out of the way and does his best to defend himself as the two men quickly take advantage of the uneven numbers.
Connor:Seriously?
Cohen:Never turn your back on your opponents, even if they are your guests for your tea party... how did they get this approved by Bateman?
Saboteur gets to his feet and aids his partner, tackling Smith to the corner. He begins working over Smith but Rush comes to save Smith, attacking Saboteur from behind. Smith and Rush nod before moving Saboteur to the ropes, sending him across the ring for a ride. They go for a double clothesline but Saboteur ducks, rebounding off the opposite ropes and hitting a Double Super Saboteur! on both Rush & Smith, knocking Smith down whilst Rush staggers. The crowd cheers heavily as Saxton is up to his feet, delivering a clothesline to Rush and sending him to the outside. Smith tries getting to his feet but Saboteur hits a dropkick, sending him to the outside. The tag team champions stand tall in the ring as the Smith & Rush are on the outside, trying to recover from their failed attacks.
The crowd begins to boo as the four men in the centre of the arena take notice of Vance Bateman, General Manager of Ascension, who walks on the stage with a microphone in hand, looking to comment on the situation.
Connor:He doesn't look too happy.
Bateman:I knew this little experiment you guys were concocting with this tea party gag wasn't going to far well but before anyone gets put through the announcer's desk, let's get that ring cleaned up because we aren't going to wait any longer for the match between the four of you. Get a referee out here!
The crowd cheers at the announcement of the tag team match starting sooner than expected, catching the four men a little off-guard. Rush and Smith have finally gotten to their feet and immediately being discussing strategy whilst Saboteur is moving in an agitated fashion, worried that he hasn't done his pre-match exercises. Saxton tries to calm him down whilst referee Dillon Morse heads down the ramp.
Connor:We've got ourselves some tag team action coming right up but unfortunately, it's going to start after the break.
We return to the arena to see the crowd buzzing as Saboteur is getting a neck message by Saxton who is on the apron whilst Smith is jumping up and down with Rush giving him a couple more words before the match starts. Saboteur has refused to remove his blazer and hat for the match despite the suggestions by referee Dillon Morse.
Connor:We are about to get underway for this tag team match and it seems like Saboteur is going to remain a professional gentlemen for this match; no doubt a nice little tribute for the Gent who has recently gone on a hiatus.
Cohen:I have no idea how that man wrestles in a full body spandex costume - how the hell is he going to wrestle with extra clothing? At least Saxton had the right idea by taking it off.
Dillon checks both competitors before signalling for the bell, officially starting the match.
* DING DING DING*
Smith is quick to head for Saboteur, making sure to remain in his defensive stance so he can be ready to grapple his opponent. Saboteur, on the other hand, doesn't want to give into Smith's sudden start to the match and circles around the ring with Smith controlling the center. When Saboteur is ready, the two go for a tie-up with Saboteur getting the advantage, pushing Smith into the corner. Dillon waits for a couple of seconds before he begins counting and warns Saboteur but by that time, Saboteur has already let go of the hold. Smith complains but Dillon insists he continue the match. Saboteur uses his hands to imitate moose antlers to mock Smith, causing him to charge out of the corner and get into another tie-up with Smith easily pushing Saboteur into the corner. Dillon warns Smith but he refuses as he pushes Sab into the turnbuckles, forcing Dillon to count. On four, Smith lets go and slaps the hat off of Saboteur's head. The crowd boos at this display and Saboteur just looks at where the hat had landed. He slowly turns to Smith who is taunting Saboteur back with the same moose antlers. Saboteur begins shaking as Smith chuckles before Saboteur screams out, causing Smith to anticipate an attack. Saboteur begins doing some variation of Karate and Martial Arts, unidentifiable to Saxton who scratches his head as Smith falls back on his rump, startled by Saboteur's display of nothing. As Saboteur readies his weird self-nipple grabbing stance, Smith gets to his feet and laughs it off before going to sucker punch Saboteur. The masked warrior detects this and dodges the attack to then deliver a face-palm to Smith, causing him to stagger backwards. Smith gets angry at this disrespectful display as Saboteur tells Smith to bring it. As Smith charges at him, Saboteur screams like a schoolgirl (as he didn't think Smith would actually bring it) and charges at Smith as well. Smith goes for an attack but Saboteur evades with a baseball slide. He gets up and charges at Smith who turns around into a spinning wheel kick. The crowd cheers and laughs at these antics as Saboteur decides to tag in the big guns - Saxton enters the ring as Smith rolls to his partner Rush and tags him in. The two big men have now entered the ring and are sizing each other up, much to the delight and anticipation of the fans.
Cohen:Excellent, Saboteur is out of the match. Now we can have a real fight!
Connor:You do realise that Saboteur used his... unorthodox style of fighting to defeat some of the toughest opponents in WZCW, right Jack?
Cohen:True but now we get to see two powerhouses meet - true strength against a hard-hitting striker. That's much better than sliding around and yelling in a high-pitch.
The two men go to tie-up but unlike the Smith/Saboteur encounters, neither man is able to get any sort of advantage and stalemate in the centre. The two stop the tie-up before slowly walking around the ring, trying to pick a weakness in the other. They attempt for a second time but Rush decides to take the less honourable way out and hit Saxton with a quick knee strike before hitting Saxton with a bionic elbow across the back of Saxton who gets pushed back to the ropes. Rush throws the big man for an Irish whip, catching Saxton with a big boot that knocks Saxton silly but not down to the canvas. Rush turns around and picks up Saxton, finishing off the combination with a spinning sidewalk slam. Rush goes for a pinfall... 1... kick-out by Saxton. Rush kneels and tells the referee to count faster before getting to his feet. Rush grabs the head of Saxton and brings him over to his partner, tagging in Smith whilst hooking Saxton's arms behind his back. Smith takes aim and delivers a series of roundhouse kicks to the chest of Saxton before Rush lets go, allowing Smith to hit Saxton with a roundhouse kick to the head. Saxton drops to his knees as Smith leans back on the ropes, gaining a small amount of momentum to perform a front dropkick to knock Saxton to the canvas. He goes for the cover... 1... 2... Saxton powers out of the pin. Smith isn't impressed that he Saxton powered out as he tags back his partner Rush. He keeps Saxton pressed down as best he can as Rush hits a stalling elbow drop on Saxton's chest. Smith exits the ring as Rush goes for a pin... 1... 2... kick-out by Saxton. Rush sits up as Saxton looks to get to his feet, slowly getting to his. Rush delivers a clubbing blow to the back of Saxton that knocks him into the ropes, allowing Rush to contort Saxton's body in such a way that his torso is trapped between the second and top rope, hitting 10 forearm clubs across the chest of Saxton, allowing Saxton to drop to the ground. Rush tags his partner in and cockily gets back on the apron as Sam slowly ascends to the top, taking his time. He taunts to the crowd who boo him before Smith dives off with an elbow drop... but Saxton moves out of the way, just in time! The crowd cheers as Smith clutches his elbow whilst Saxton looks to make a tag.
Connor:The constant tags were getting the job done up until the point where Rush was confident that he inflicted enough damage to not help Smith execute the elbow drop.
Cohen:It's definitely cost them a huge blow but with Saxton potentially tagging in Saboteur, it shouldn't be too much of a threat for Rush & Smith.
Smith gets to his feet as Saxton is able to tag Saboteur to a cheering audience. Saboteur hops over the ropes as Smith tries to contain his quirky opponent but Saboteur evades the contact, causing Smith to hit the turnbuckles with nobody home. He turns around to see Saboteur charging, hitting a Stinger splash on Smith. Saboteur hits a few quick blows and a couple of European uppercuts to turn the tide before attempting to deliver a snapmare. He does so before finishing off the combo by kicking Smith in the back of the head. Smith isn't knocked out just yet as he looks to get to his feet whilst Saboteur sets up for a quick finish. Rush attempts to get into the ring but referee Morse is there to prevent him from doing so, allowing enough of a distraction for Smith (as Saboteur has turned away for a second) to deliver a roundhouse kick to Saboteur who drops to the ground. Smith goes to one knee and recovers with the crowd booing the illegal tactics of Rush who happily goes back to his corner after the damage has been done. Saboteur is able to get up as Smith takes his breath, allowing Smith to go over to Saboteur and hit a neckbreaker for good measure. He covers... 1... 2... kick-out as Smith argues the count.
Cohen:Back to the tag team strategy you were promoting, CC.
Connor:This is becoming more like cheating than strategic tag team moves.
Cohen:How else do you think tag teams become successful? You've got a partner - use him!
Smith tags in Rush who gets into the ring and quickly locks in a bearhug onto Saboteur, trying to squeeze the life and energy out of him as to take him out of the equation at the very least. Rush's huge reach is no match for Saboteur's body who feels the intense pressure, letting out a few screams of pain. Saxton gets anxious on the apron and begins riling the fans to cheer for Saboteur, who begin a clapping chant for him. Saboteur can hear the fans and uses it to adrenalise himself, building up enough energy to hit one of his signature bell claps to Rush which stuns him somewhat. The crowd chants for more cowbell as Saboteur obliges, hitting a couple of bell claps before finishing off with a devastating headbutt that knocks both men a little silly, causing Rush to let go. Saboteur staggers for a second but recovers, looking to hit a clobbering strike but Rush evades and is able to position himself behind Saboteur, looking for a back suplex. However, Saboteur is the king of back suplex reversal and turns the move into a shiranui! Both men are on the ground and are looking to recover with Saboteur slowly crawling to Saxton. The crowd cheers loudly for Saboteur as Rush gets to his feet, finally getting the tag. Saxton enters the ring with a fire inside, hitting a punching combination on Rush before finishing up with a twirling punch that knocks Rush backwards. Saxton follows Rush to the corner where he has taken refuge and hits a series of knife-edge chops. Smith comes to interfere whilst walking on the apron but Saxton gives him a shuffle side kick, knocking him off the apron.
Connor:Thanks for playing, Smith!
Rush has staggered to the centre of the ring, allowing Saxton to prepare himself for a spin kick before finishing off with a Megaton punch. Rush steps back, allowing Saxton to nail his finishing move - the Black Lightning. The crowd is cheering loudly as Saxton goes for the cover, looking to end the match... 1... 2...
* CRACK *
The sound of the chair shot across Saxton echoes throughout the arena as Smith stands tall over him, looking without remorse as the referee calls for the end of the match much to the dismay of the crowd.
Harrys: Here are your winners by disqualification; Saboteur & Action Saxton!
Connor:What was the purpose of Smith bringing in the chair to this match?
Cohen:To end the match by other means - Saxton didn't decisively win the match for his team; it was Smith who decided the outcome.
As Smith stands over Saxton who looks to get up, Smith readies the chair and looks to cause more damage but we see Saboteur enter the picture, charging at Smith and taking him down, dropping the chair in the process. Saboteur pushes the chair to the outside as Smith gets up and begins mounted punches on Saboteur as the crowd boos. Saboteur covers up as Smith hits the shot after shot. Before he can finish off though, Saxton is up and pulls Smith off his tag team partner and is about to take care of him but Rush hits Saxton with a low blow whilst still in a crawling/kneeling position, trying to recover from the Black Lightning kick. Saxton holds his crotch as Smith smiles, hitting a DDT to take care of Saxton. Saboteur tries to get up and mount a comeback but with Rush getting to his feet, the two men over-power Saboteur and get him into a position where Rush hits the Rushing Powerbomb on Saboteur. The crowd boos relentlessly as Smith kicks Saxton out of the ring and Rush remains seated as he throws Saboteur out of the ring as well. Smith helps his partner up and two celebrate in the ring as if they just won their matches.
Connor:So not only could they let Saboteur & Action Saxton gain a clean win over them, they also beat up the Tag Team champions post-match.
Cohen:Saboteur started it. He was the first to land a blow before Smith defended himself.
Connor:By hitting him with multiple punches to the face without stopping?
Cohen:It's how you teach someone like Saboteur to never attack you after a match. They sent a message to the tag team champions and even though they lost, this display of dominance will surely put everyone on notice in the tag team division that Rush & Smith aren't looking to play nice.
Connor:Let's see what the GM's have to say about this when they have to discuss this incident.
Rush and Smith exit the ring and head up the ramp with their heads held high as Saxton & Saboteur begin to recover.
Leon:I am joined now by Elite X Champion John Constantine and his associate, Hunter Kravinoff.
Constantine and Kravinoff both look worse for wear after their match tonight, but the duo are wearing matching grins on their faces.
Constantine:I’m proud to be here Leon, and even prouder that the Elite X Championship is exactly where it belongs.
Leon:Constantine, I can’t help but wonder if you have any idea why Wasabi Toyota’s music came on during your match. Have you been in contact with Toyota? Was this just a trick to get into the heads of S.H.I.T. and Barbosa?
Constantine: I just put on a heroic performance and you want to talk about that fat lump of sushi? I’ll answer your question, no matter how dense it is: I have no idea why Wasabi Toyota’s music hit. For all I know the sound guy pressed the wrong button. I’m pretty sure he drinks on the job anyway.
Leon:Very well. And Hunter, I have a question for you as well: what is the status of your relationship with Barbosa?
Kravinoff opens his mouth to answer the question but is promptly cut off by Constantine.
Constantine: Hunter is very happy to be working with me now. His working relationship with Barbosa is over since Barbosa has made it perfectly clear that he does not think as highly of Kravinoff as I do. I value Kravinoff’s abilities, and in turn, he values mine. That is what makes us the greatest duo in WZCW, and that is why this Elite X Championship will never leave my waist.
Constantine walks off and Kravinoff follows right behind him.
Leon:Ladies and gentlemen, John Constantine and Hunter Kravinoff.
--------
We cut backstage to the image of “Showtime” David Cougar walking down a corridor. The crowd roars with delight.
Connor:Coming up next is our main event between “Showtime” David Cougar and Celeste Crimson where personal scores are going to be sett--what the..?
Just as Cat Connor prepares to finish running down the upcoming main event, two men dressed in all black jump “Showtime.” They start beating on him and beat him down to the ground. One of the men holds Showtime up as another man speaks to him.
Man #1:We were told to send you a message Mr. Cougar. Don't mess with the bosses' gal!
The man speaking slaps Cougar in the face, but he finally responds with a few right hands of his own after breaking free from the other. Cougar scuffles with both of them, but finally lands on a spear to one and then clothesline's another! With heavy breathing, Cougar staggers away from the grounded goons towards the gorilla position for his match.
Connor:I think those were some hired guns by Steven Holmes! Cougar is making his way to the ring for his match up next, but he seems to be wounded! Celeste vs. Showtime is up next, don't go away!
We return to our arena, scanning the crowd before a bell sounds and the crowd lets out a short breath of excitement, prepared for the closing battle for this evening’s festivities. We cut to the ring where Selena Anderson and Elizabeth Prince in the ring, ready for our main event. Anderson prepares for the official announcement as the crowd quietens down:
Anderson: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for your main event, and it is set for one fall!
The cheers grow louder as the crowd prepares for this battle between perceived good and evil. Then, a wave of negative reaction strikes:
[YOUTUBE]e8WCwLwgPog[/YOUTUBE]
As the opening notes strike, a spotlight falls onto the entrance way before, after a few moments delay, WZCW’s Submission Queen enters, bathed in the glow.
Celeste has a cunning smile on her face. She has witnessed the events that plagued David Cougar earlier in the evening and knows his participation is potentially doubtful. She strolls to the ring, the light following her as she goes.
Connor:Look at that sickening smirk on Celeste’s face. She clearly had something to do with what we’ve just witnessed.
Cohen:Did you not catch Steven Holmes’ address on WZCW.com CC? He stated it was open season on Cougar; clearly what we just saw was an example of this.
Connor:Whatever the case, if “Showtime” can’t compete here tonight, it will be a true injustice.
Cohen:I’m sure the irony of that won’t be lost on Celeste.
Climbing into the ring, Celeste stands in the centre, her eyes closed, she absorbs the hatred of the crowd. She is almost feeding off of it and relishes her chance to shine. Then, as her theme dies down, and the house lights return to normality, she opens wide, cocking her head towards the entrance ramp, the warped smile returning to her face, knowing that a victory over David Cougar, by any means, would work out splendidly for her own career as well as Steven Holmes’ title defence plans. The booing that had accompanied Celeste’s entrance is slowly morphing now. It is being drowned out by a “We Want Showtime!” chant. This seems to peeve Celeste who narrows her eyes and snorts and shakes her head at the crowd. This turns into a light chuckle, her belief being that “Showtime” is done for the evening and he has been struck down, but then;
[YOUTUBE]hWRvUlhrHEM[/YOUTUBE]
As the theme of former Heavyweight Champion David Cougar strikes, the roof explodes. The fans go wild, Celeste stares intently at the entrance way, her smile and chuckle gone in favour of a serious demeanour. There is a slight delay, as doubt starts to creep slightly into the fans consciousness, but then he arrives! The noise somehow grows louder and “Showtime” smiles.
Anderson: And her opponent, from Winnipeg, Canada, weighing 219 pounds, "Showtime" David Cougar!
In the ring, Celeste is clearly frustrated by the arrival of “Showtime” and is starting to pace back and forth. Rather than waste time, “Showtime” is ready for his revenge and he storms to the ring, taking Celeste down early as the official calls for the bell to start this contest!
Connor:And here we go! The fight is on, and it’s on early!
Fists fly from the taped up fists of David Cougar as he throws them furious in the face of Celeste Crimson. Some connect crisply; others miss, sloppy in execution. On her back, Celeste knows she’s in trouble. The martial arts black belt tries to turn the tide, forcing “Showtime” onto his back, but the Canadian continues firing fists across Celeste’s mug. Eventually she cracks a forearm of her own off of David’s face. Noting that it is delaying “Showtime’s” strikes, Celeste continues to batter forearms across his face. After he starts covering up himself, Celeste realises that his midsection is open and in a surprisingly fast move, leaps to her feet, bringing her feet together in his midsection. Cougar lets out a scream of anguish as Celeste follows up by coming down on top of Cougar with a perfect elbow to the midsection: 1...2...KICK-OUT! “Showtime” shoves Celeste in the face to get her off of him. They both take a second to regain their composure before “Showtime” spears her to the mat again. This time though, rather than flying in with a melee of fists though, “Showtime” drops a leg across Celeste’s throat. He is straight to his feet and he quickly gazes into the crowd before his eye wanders towards the top turnbuckle. He grins mischievously, the first time since his loss to Holmes perhaps.
Connor:I think it’s very telling that “Showtime” didn’t go straight for the cover there, even with a spot in the Kingdom Come main event at stake. He still clearly needs to exercise the demon that is Celeste.
Cohen:Well the Canuck better be careful that doesn’t bite him in the rear-end.
“Showtime” points upwards, signalling some sort of high-flying antics. He exits through the second rope and proceeds to climb. As he checks his footing upon reaching the top rope, Celeste Crimson pops up and sprints up the turnbuckle, cracking a wicked kick across Cougar who flip over her. He falls hard to the mat below. Celeste raises her feet to the top turnbuckle and cautiously, she stands up tall on the top rope. “Showtime” is rising, staggered slightly. Taking a deep breath and noting the grand slam winner’s position, she leaps and throws a massive kick across the chops of David Cougar! The crowd gasps as the sound is crisp, indicating a vicious connection. There is a moment in the ring where both competitors are down and movement comes from neither of them, but then Celeste starts to crawl. The kick seems to have Cougar out cold and she senses victory. She shoves him over and collapses onto his body: 1...2...KICK-OUT! “Showtime” throws his left arm into the air and Celeste’s eyes are wide open as she glares at match official Prince. She shakes her head and shoves “Showtime” over onto his back again, this time throwing her full body weight on-top to try and keep the former champion down: 1...2...KICK-OUT! Celeste sits up now and breathes deep and heavy. She is normally a cold, calculating performer, but he adversary is resilient and overwhelmingly tough, causing her to lose some of that ice queen demeanour she has become famous for. She slaps the mat out of frustration and rises to her feet, pacing back and forth, just as she did at Cougar’s entrance.
Connor:Looks like Celeste is starting to melt a little.
Cohen:Maybe, but few are as experienced as our “Queen”. No doubt she is dreaming up a thousand new submission holds to punish “Showtime” right now.
That appears to be the case as Celeste drops a couple of swift knees into Cougar’s collarbone area, looking to expose it and weaken it. Now on her knees, she drills the targeted area with the point of her elbow. She drills repeatedly, continuing to wear that part of “Showtime’s” anatomy down. The elbows become faster and more furious as the referee begins to intervene in a bid to avoid lasting damage being inflicted upon David Cougar. Celeste backs off, but she is straight back with a swift boot to that wounded collarbone. She then smothers “Showtime”, pinning his shoulders to the mat whilst forcing her elbow into the target-zone: 1...2...KICK-OUT! Popping that wounded arm up, “Showtime” survives. Celeste slinks round and props the former Stantime alumni up. She grabs the collarbone area and slaps on a vile looking nerve hold. “Showtime” grits his teeth and grimaces, the pain clearly starting to affect him. Battering his feet off the mat, Cougar is desperate to alleviate the pain somehow. He uses his good arm to rake his nails across the features of Celeste. She too grits her teeth, but out of annoyance. She breaks the holds full potential by using one of her arms to swat the raking hand away. It is the opening “Showtime” had hoped for, and he rolls round, getting back to a kneeled position. The fans stomp, hoping it will help bring their hero to his feet and he starts to, but Crimson won’t have any of this, and a swift kick to the gut brings David back to his knees.
Backing off for a second, Celeste loads up a kick and cracks it off the chest of Cougar. Noting its effectiveness, she repeats over, and over and over. Each hit increases with power until the submission mistress loads up a near decapitating final kick to the skull. Cougar though ducks it and Celeste’s momentum carries her to where she is no longer facing Cougar. The ex-Heavyweight Champion capitalises with a schoolboy: 1...2...KICK-OUT! Celeste escapes the pinning predicament, but not in the conventional sense, rather she wraps her legs around “Showtime’s” arm and twists until he is on his belly and she has the arm locked between her legs. Now, once again, the collarbone region is vulnerable and Celeste drills carefully positioned elbows into the weakened zone. She repeats until the referee begins to count and then ceases, voting instead to lock another submission in, this time reaching across Cougar’s face. She hooks him from the nostrils and pulls his head back. The crowd gasps as the camera gets a close-up of the gruesome view. Once again resorting to scraping and scratching, “Showtime” claws Celeste’s hand so the “sword of justice” switches things up, opting for the more obvious crossface submission. A cold smirk comes across the face of Celeste...
Cohen:This one is done; Celeste is familiar with the damage this hold can do and with the assault on the collarbone, she has the battle here all but won!
Connor:You might be right Jack, “Showtime” is certainly struggling and that move is synched in tight.
As the commentators speculate on what David Cougar will do, the man himself attempts to reach the ropes behind him with his legs. They run back and forth across where he assumes the apron is and he tries to extend them as much as possible to force a break. He lifts his feet from time to time to make sure he isn’t just barely out of reach of escaping. Then, he clips the bottom rope. Celeste can see the leg action out of the corner of her eye and rears back as much as possible, hoping to apply as much pressure and exert as much pain as possible with this crossface. Digging his fingers into the mat, Cougar tries to take the pain away and force himself back slightly. It is a horrifically painful task, but he does just enough to make sure he can keep him foot on the bottom rope. He latches onto it with both feet. The referee taps Celeste to indicate she needs to break the hold, but crimson maintains the submission and so the referee starts to count: 1...2...3...4...CELESTE BREAKS!
Cohen:I’m impressed “Showtime” managed to get to the ropes before tapping or passing out, but Celeste has done a significant deal of damage to that shoulder and collarbone region. That’s got to have taken out both of Cougar’s finishing moves.
Holding her hands up, Celeste protests innocence to official Prince, insisting she was within the rules and within her rights to keep that move held on until a four count as she did. However, as she remonstrates it buys Cougar valuable time, something he uses to great effect, popping up with a swift reverse neckbreaker. He doesn’t cover, instead using it to create further breathing room for him to recover. Both competitors begin to rise, Cougar holding his injured arm. They rise meet one another, but back to back rather than face-to-face. “Showtime” is swift and spins round, grabbing Celeste before she can do the same. He has her in position for his reverse DDT; Backstage! He takes a moment to adjust himself, but this proves damning as Celeste spins out of the move, twisting “Showtime’s” good arm. She pulls him into her and she chucks him backwards; a huge belly-to-belly suplex! Shaking off any cobwebs, Celeste proceeds to dip down and grab the host of “The Show”, but is met with a fast and furious inside cradle! 1...2...REVERSAL! Celeste switches her body weight, forcing Cougar’s shoulders to the mat; 1...2...KICK-OUT! This time it is David Cougar who kicks out, forced to release his own pinning predicament. Again the two rise to meet one another. This time Celeste drops “Showtime” with a stiff clothesline. Raising a single digit, Celeste proceeds to indicate with her index finger that the end is coming as she imitates a throat slit. She indicates for “Showtime” to rise. With increasing speed, Crimson throws her hands up in the air to try and bring the Winnipeg native up in position for Spirit Crusher, a high speed roundhouse kick finisher. As Cougar gets in position for the move, she fires off the kick, but like before, Cougar ducks and her momentum carries her through into a position ripe for a roll-up. “Showtime” grabs the schoolboy as déjà-vu sets in. Celeste again tries to latch on a submission to counter-act the move, but Cougar has it scouted and at the expense of further injury to himself, he flips over into a bridge, pinning Celeste’s shoulders down and making it incredibly awkward for Celeste to do anything to escape: 1...2...3! The crowd roars triumphantly!
Anderson: Here is your winner; “SHOWTIME” DAVID COUGAR!
Popping out of the cover, “Showtime” dives out of the way of Celeste. He breathes a sigh of relief, knowing he was lucky to escape the submission queen’s clutches this time. He rises to his feet, but in a reversal from the start of the contest, Celeste attempts to take him down in anger. “Showtime” though side-steps the move. Celeste stops in her tracks and spins, trying to smash a clothesline over Cougar’s head, but our favourite Canadian talk-show host catches it and delivers a beautiful standing C4 despite the poor health of one of his arms. The crowd is overjoyed and the cheer is fantastic as “Showtime” pops up, grabbing his arm in pain, but grinning through it all.
Connor:Tonight, “Showtime” David Cougar didn’t just win this match to secure his spot in the main event of the biggest event in KC history, he gained a measure of retribution for what happened at Lethal Lottery.
Cohen:Perhaps, but Cougar still has the business to do at Kingdom Come and with not only Steven Holmes there, but his arch ene--
[YOUTUBE]6x3ORCFLaWE[/YOUTUBE]
The crowd turns, somewhat surprised by the entrance music that blares out. “Showtime” has a death stare on his face. He releases his wounded arm and tightens his fists, prepared to fight if need be. Then, Drake Callahan, the Lethal Lottery winner himself, emerges onto the top of the ramp. He wears street clothes having participated in combat at Meltdown 90. He stands, locked in a stare with his greatest foe, David Cougar. Both men are deathly serious and a hush comes over the arena, as this intense moment occurs. Then, Drake dissolves all that intensity with a hearty laugh. He chuckle marvellously, holding his belly as he does. “Showtime” remains bitterly unimpressed. Then, Drake begins to mockingly applaud “Showtime”, still laughing as he does so. Finally, he points to the Kingdom Come sign high above the arena. He nods, a grin still fixed on his face.
Connor:It appears that tensions are rising once more between Drake and "Showtime" ahead of their presence together in the Kingdom Come main event. That said, we're out of time. I'd like to thank you for watching. I'm Cat Connor and he's Jack Cohen so until next time we'll be seeing you, but remember, Aftershock 24 is tomorrow night. Goodnight everyone.
As our announcers sign off, we cut to our final, lasting shots from Ascension 65; David Cougar stood, staring at Drake Callahan who chuckles lightly. Then, we fade to black to conclude our broadcast.
Many people were very helpful, except for JGlass. Sum contributions and awards presented by the Academy of Wrestling Arts and Sciences include:
Funkay - Celeste Crimson vs "Showtime" Cougar and associated segment, Most Well Dressed FalKon - Sabosax vs Rush Smith, Most Benevolent Leader JGlass - Constantine vs S.H.I.T. and associated segment (sorry it was so bad), tea time segment (embarrassing), Least Coolest Yazloz - Grand Mystique vs Derek Jacobs, Most Rotund Harthan - Krypto vs Grizzly Bob and associated segment, Most Average Male Kermit - Opening and a butt-ton (metric) of other segments, Most Inspiring Racial Minority Killjoy - Love, moral support, and a segment we didn't use because of communication errors, Most Likely to Cease Pleasantries
These are your leaders and my stalwart comrades. Please consider extending their e-manhood with a little bit of precious green rep. Just a little bit. Just a taste. Please also consider rotten eggs and tomatoes for JGlass, who is the worst.
Please enjoy the coming Aftershock which will be posted circa 2016.
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