Young Love

[Jane]

I might have posted this in the Bar Room, but I'm sure I would get nothing but spam and a subject change before the end of the first page. So I'll talk here.

I was talking to a friend of mine, a girl, who recently broke up with her boyfriend. Keep in mind they're both 14. She told me how sad she was and how she thought she would never love again. I immediately stopped her and asked, "Oh, you loved him?" She said yes. Now this is one of those things that always bothers me. So I argued back saying in a few years she would mean nothing to him, and she would look back on this and laugh that about how she thought she truly loved him. It was kinda advice to get her over him, but she blew up saying how much she loved him. Gave me the whole "my heart stops when I'm with him!" speech. I kept telling her this was stupid, and my that older sisters, one of whom is married, and the other is in a long term relationship, always tell me that when they look back at their younger relationships they just laugh and realize how dumb they were for thinking they were in love. So she just says "Well, that's them! I'm in love!"

I then told her I give up. But now I want an opinion from you guys. Do you believe that when you are my age, haven't had any REAL life experiences yet, can truly fall in love? I definitely don't think so. We don't know what it means yet. I understand really liking someone or wanting to date them, but love is something I don't think kids my age can contemplate. What do ya think?

 

[OIL]

At 14? She doesn't know what love is, and she's making a bold statement by saying she'll never love again, lol. At 14 you don't fall in love, you just have a great deal of affection towards someone. That's about it. It's only until you turn about 16 that you have an IDEA of what love is. Even at my age, I highly doubt I understand it compared to someone who is older. Love is a word used SO much for the wrong reasons, and at 14 it's way too young.

 

[The Rob]

I hate the way 14 year olds always plaster comments like "I love you with all my heart, your my everything, together forever" all over their Bebo/Facebook/Myspace pages about their boyfriend or girlfriend. You just wanna shout in their face that they don't even know what love is yet!

 

[OIL]

I hate the way 14 year olds always plaster comments like "I love you with all my heart, your my everything, together forever" all over their Bebo/Facebook/Myspace pages about their boyfriend or girlfriend. You just wanna shout in their face that they don't even know what love is yet!

What he said is so true. Everyone who's said that that I know of at a young age isn't with their so called 'everything' anymore. Love is a fickle thing. It just goes to show, at 14, you don't know what love is. I'd love to see a couple together after a few years who met at 14 and proclaimed their love for eachother.

 

[HBK-aholic]

It's arguable. I mean, I had no idea what love was at 14, but does that mean someone else can't? There are people who have been with their partners since High School, and are now married. But my point is, what is the 'correct' age to realise what love is? I'd argue that now, at 17, I know what I mean when I say 'love', but people may disagree with that. Some say you have to be 18, maybe in your 20s..when is it?

 

[The Rob]

Also when 14 year olds have this little silly discussion where they say:

"I love you"...
"I love you more"...
"No, I love you more"...
"Not possible"...

Arghhh just shut the fuck up, neither of you love each other at such a young age!

 

[OIL]

It's arguable. I mean, I had no idea what love was at 14, but does that mean someone else can't? There are people who have been with their partners since High School, and are now married. But my point is, what is the 'correct' age to realise what love is? I'd argue that now, at 17, I know what I mean when I say 'love', but people may disagree with that. Some say you have to be 18, maybe in your 20s..when is it?

How to the person I guess. But no-one at 14 knows what love is. It's just a great deal of affection. They'll do all the little romantic things, but after a few months they'll get bored with eachother and break up. You find a couple who started out when they were 14 and said they were in love then. It's bullshit.

 

[HBK-aholic]

How to the person I guess. But no-one at 14 knows what love is. It's just a great deal of affection. They'll do all the little romantic things, but after a few months they'll get bored with eachother and break up. You find a couple who started out when they were 14 and said they were in love then. It's bullshit.

One of my best friends and her boyfriend have been together 4 years, and she's the same age as me. But that's besides the point. You say that no one knows what love is at 14..Can they at 15? 16? What's the difference? I'm not arguing love is possible at 14, because I don't know myself. But who are we to say 2 14 year olds don't love each other?

 

[The Rob]

I know someone who went out with a girl for 2 months and only saw her 5 times in those 2 months and he only got a handful of kisses from her at the most... and they kept saying that they loved each other and that they would last forever etc etc (over Bebo of course). Everytime they left comments of that nature I had to try not to s****** too loudly.

 

[OIL]

You say that no one knows what love is at 14..Can they at 15? 16? What's the difference? I'm not arguing love is possible at 14, because I don't know myself.

People mature at different ages. But generally they mature at 16. At least then they have SOME idea of what love is. Even then, I highly doubt it. Relationships won't last that long at that age most of the time, but there are exceptions as there is with everything.

But who are we to say 2 14 year olds don't love each other?

More educated people compared to the 14 year olds who say 'ILYYY BABEH, 4EVA N EVAH!! <3<3'.

 

[AnthonyMango/NoFate007]

Its completely possible to actually love someone at the age of 14 - just very highly unlikely. Teenagers are roller coasters of emotions. Extreme highs, vicious lows, and wild squiggly line in the center. Many of them think that the slightest bad thing to happen to them is the worst thing ever and they'll never spring back from it, so its only natural that the counter balance of that is when they get something good and think its some miracle cure.

Its all a matter of perceptions. To Bill Gates, 300 bucks is nothing. To me, I don't want to buy a Blu-Ray player because 300 bucks is too much to spend on it. If someone eats subpar food their whole life, they don't know what they're missing out on, so to them, that's the pinnacle, just as if someone ate at 5-star restaurants and then was forced to eat dirt. So to a 14 year old with limited life experience, that little tingle they feel when they like someone (both the physical tingle and the emotional one) combines together to be the pinnacle of their whole experience thus far, and to them, why isn't that love? All they've ever heard was that love dominates all, and if this is the most dominant feeling they've ever felt towards someone, well then it must coincide, right? But later on in life, they've gone through more, so they can look back and realize that previously, they didn't have the full picture, but now they do.

In retrospect, everything changes. As a kid, you're proud that you have 5 dollars to spend. A few years later, you look back and realize that 5 dollars means nothing since you now know the true value of currency, so you throw it around more easily. A few years later, you're older, wiser, and you change once more and realize that 5 dollars means nothing to be excited about like when you were a kid, but its also nothing to be frivolous about.

Most people fall into this because you can't teach a perspective, but at the same time in a rather confusing notion, you do have to learn one. Nobody can simply tell you "this is what your point of view is", because they're not you, but eventually you realize that "this was what my point of view was" once you've learned how to step outside that environment.

But there are always exceptions to the rule. These exceptions are extremely rare, so its ridiculous if you automatically think you're different, and I've always hated hearing kids throw "I love you" around after practically just meeting someone, but you should never 100% dismiss it, as once in a while, you come across a needle in a haystack.

 

[Sparky]

I fall in love waaay to easily. I was 13 and went out with the same girl right up until Valentines day when i was 16 (almost 17). I loved here like crazy. Some people know what love is no matter what age. Age, isn't really a barrier. you can find love (while not meaning too) when your five even.

Like my friend who admitted she has been in love with me since that age. You don't know your in love then, but you know your feeling something, but you most likely think its gas. when you get older you realise it isn't you act on it.

 

[Azrael Cain]

At the young age when puberty just begins to kick in, the hormones are raging and most of the feelings we experience are lust and attraction. As the years go on and we mature, we learn to appreciate people not just for their bulging muscles but for their personalities and qualities. The argument can be made that some mature faster than others, but there are exceptions to every rule and exceptions generally do not apply to the "average norm," wherein most of "us" fall.

Like I said in the thread about love, I'll be damned if I can explain to you what it is, but it is something that grabs a hold and does not let go. It is unlike lust and unlike attraction, it is grater and stronger than they and yet similar and different simultaneously. In other words, "we know it when we feel it." But that feeling can get lost amongst the hormones and everything else raging on inside of us during those early chaotic years.

It isn't out of the realm of the impossible that thirteen and fourteen year olds fall in love. However, more often than not it's horniness that dominates. And onces that's "out of our system," love is free to wreak its havoc and toy with us as it pleases. Only by then we're older, wiser and prepared...

 

[Jane]

I absolutely understand that some people can fall in love at this age, whether they know it or not, but most people just use the term so loosely. This girl I'm talking about got dumped after 6 months with absolutely no notice.. if it was love it would not end so abruptly. I get so pissed off when I see Facebook status or msn names as "I Love You ____!" after a few days of dating. I know this kid who is in Grade 7, extremely immature, who asked a girl out ON A DATE. The day after their date his msn status said he loved her. They were not even officially dating! It's things like this that make me doubt everyone who says they're in love to a certain age. I just don't believe it's as easy as these people think.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

I'm not saying this to upset anyone under the Age of 17-18, or even 20 for that matter.. but the fact is I find it incredibly hard to believe anyone, especially at the age of 14 could possibly know the true meaning and value of love.

The way you explained your story, it appears that the girl is more upset over losing a boyfriend.. than losing a love. And typically, around that age is when you first begin dating. So in essence, she lost her first boyfriend, or first remotely meaningful one. But was it love? Doubtful.

It was likely her first real experience in this area. Nothing more. And if she's had previous boyfriends, than it needs to be seen for how long each relationship lasted. Because at that age, relationships to teens are like candy to fat people. You don't know how much you've went through, you just know you like doing it.

I, myself, thought I was in love many times before I actually realized when I very first fell in love. I thought I loved every single girl I had an infatuation for. From the age of 15 on, through until I was 19.

Its a new area to explore, that's roughly it. When you're 14, you have no concept of love because you haven't even had enough time to develop what a real relationship is. I find it hard to believe you could understand and know for a definite fact that it was indeed love, when in most cases relationships at that age don't last beyond a couple weeks, or months at the very most.

 

[Mrs Sexy]

It's a new feeling at that age. I know 2 couples that I went to school with. Both couples have dated off and on all throughout middle school and high school. So that shows right there that they really weren't IN love, but infatuated with each other. In the end both couples got married. I hope the best for them. If they were truly in love from middle school and on, then I don't think they would have been off and on all throughout. When 14 year olds and even 17 year olds post on their msn, facebook, myspace, bebo, what have you, it's so annoying. Maybe when those people are older, then maybe they will realize they weren't IN love at that time. Granted some people don't change much as they get older. It hurts being broken up with, but that doesn't mean the world is going to end, or you will never find anyone else. There's a saying I was always told, "there's other fish out in the sea." Which is true. In time this girl will realize that. It may take a few years.

 

[HEEL Blazy]

I had my first girlfriend in Pre-K but I know that wasn't love it was just meh kids being kids lol.

But I had my first serious girlfriend at 14 and you know what hell I still miss her but meh it wasn't love but hell people can find love at 14 I guess.

Now the first girl I ever loved I started dating while I was 16 and damn when I found out she cheated on me I was hurt bad. I mean she was like a real great girlfriend. First girl I ever cried over because she was just different you know. I really felt the world crash before me.

 

[OIL]

Now the first girl I ever loved I started dating while I was 16 and damn when I found out she cheated on me I was hurt bad. I mean she was like a real great girlfriend. First girl I ever cried over because she was just different you know. I really felt the world crash before me.

Sorry to hear about that mate.

& at 16 apparently it's the time when people usually first feel love properly. Whether that is true or not I'm not sure, as I wouldn't say Ive been in love properly, in it's fullest form. Anyway, it's just further proof that people don't know what love is at 14. Way, way too young to know anything about what it means.