You Used To Be A Brat; But Now You Crave Attention

[ABMorales787]

You know back in the day, an attitude problem was as easy to fix as it was to whack you in the mouth. Behavior problems were common, but nothing outside parent's control. Nowadays... Not the same. Hell, there isn't even such a thing as being a brat or ill behaved is there? Now it's that they have some condition like craving for attention or have psychological trauma of some kind. It's not that simple anymore. Yeah, you have legit cases like Autism. But when it's not that, it's stuff like craving attention or repressed memories or some other stuff parents wouldn't know unless taken to a psychologist. Which is something else. Parent's, instead of enforcing discipline, would rather choose a shrink to figure out what's wrong instead.

Thing is, is this better? Or was our antiquated and more simple way of just enforcing disciple better? With a shrink, you find some repressed issues you could never solve by cutting TV off for a month. But by relying more on that than your own parenting, what does that say about your skills as parents? Or the child's ability to learn what's right and what's wrong? I mean telling the kid he's doing what he's doing because he has issues doesn't exactly tell him it's wrong.

In my eyes, parent's are the parents. And they should be one's to figure out how to solve the issues their kids have. Not a shrink. Kids are young and are still learning. Any repressed memory is repressed for a reason. It's no excuse for bad behavior. if your child has these kind of issues, it's simply because you're not that good of a parent.

 

[Loveless]

Nice idea but the problem is most parents are fucking morons when it comes to the emotional health of their children and have no idea how to help, that's if they care at all.
As for your theory on repressed memories, I lol'd. If repression causes unusal behaviour, then surely it's a good idea to deal with it. Also your labelling it as "bad behaviour" is callous. The very fact that it's repressed means the child is unaware and is probably suffering for it.

"Any repressed memory is repressed for a reason. It's no excuse for bad behavior."

Except it is because repression often takes the form of compulsive behaviour and unusual coping mechanisms. But hell, let's just call the child bad instead, it's easier (see my first paragraph).

 

[LSN80]

You know back in the day, an attitude problem was as easy to fix as it was to whack you in the mouth. Behavior problems were common, but nothing outside parent's control. Nowadays... Not the same. Hell, there isn't even such a thing as being a brat or ill behaved is there? Now it's that they have some condition like craving for attention or have psychological trauma of some kind. It's not that simple anymore. Yeah, you have legit cases like Autism. But when it's not that, it's stuff like craving attention or repressed memories or some other stuff parents wouldn't know unless taken to a psychologist. Which is something else. Parent's, instead of enforcing discipline, would rather choose a shrink to figure out what's wrong instead.

What youre saying here is what I tell about 50% of parents, honestly. I don't believe in medicating a child unless absolutely necessary, unless behavior is out of control. I think it IS up to the parents to teach their kids right from wrong, appropriate from not. But taking a child to see a therapist or a psychologist isn't necessarily bailing on discipline. Find me a professional who thinks discipline is a BAD idea, and you've found a bad one.

What differentiates the other 50%? Well, it's the kids who've experienced trauma in their lives, and do act out because of it. Divorce rates are esssentially the highest they've ever been, and kids from a young age see and hear some terrible things, from their own parents even. Some kids are quite resiliant, but others suffer greatly because of things they've eperienced. And these are issues that at times do need to be resolved. Im not saying that this is an excuse for the behavior, quite the opposite. The child does need to be held responsible, but it's also nice for kds to be able to know and identify the why of what they do, which is where professional help is important. Sometimes kids act out and they're not sure why, honestly, and the more they get insight into the behavior, you
see it reduced.

Thing is, is this better? Or was our antiquated and more simple way of just enforcing disciple better? With a shrink, you find some repressed issues you could never solve by cutting TV off for a month. But by relying more on that than your own parenting, what does that say about your skills as parents? Or the child's ability to learn what's right and what's wrong? I mean telling the kid he's doing what he's doing because he has issues doesn't exactly tell him it's wrong.

That parents are necessarily traine to understand thir child and their behavior. I don't see the problem with a parent getting their child professional help, and its not them shirking their parenting duties either. If anything, its saying "I care enough about my child that I want and want them to understand their behavior", more times then not. The goal of a therapist is to move parents towards less reliance on them, and more upon their own skills. There are things that parents simply don't understand, and they need help with. Same with kids. One of the goals of therapy is to get children to understand both the "why" of their behavior, and the "how" of why its wrong. Sometimes, a child needs both, rather then to just be told their wrong and punished. There's a time and place for both.

In my eyes, parent's are the parents. And they should be one's to figure out how to solve the issues their kids have. Not a shrink. Kids are young and are still learning. Any repressed memory is repressed for a reason. It's no excuse for bad behavior. if your child has these kind of issues, it's simply because you're not that good of a parent.

But you would want your child to be completely healthy, right? I don't see the harm and I see it as a sign of a progressive society when parents are able to acknowledge they DONT have all the answers. To me, thats being a better parent then just trying the same measures over and over again, even if they aren't working. Each child is different and unique, so to say "its on the parent" if a child acts out continually isn't getting the whole picture. And sometimes, it's nice having a little help along the way in finding how to best deal with your child. Its empowering to the parents alot of times, and helps make them better parents.

 

[Calderownz]

Statistically, a lot of these diseases seem to be new situations. But in reality, many people suffered from these types of things and they simply weren't diagnosed.

That being said, parents and psychiatrists are far too quick to just give a kid another pill to pop. There has to be a balance.

I don't see anything wrong with talking to your kid, and figuring out whether they need to just be handled as a brat or if they have something deeper than that. But neither should be assumed. Going to a shrink doesn't mean that they are right. And not going to one doesn't mean that they wouldn't know what's going on with your child.

At the end of the day, parents simply have to pay attention to their kids. Not in an overboard way, but they have to be thinking about them as much as possible. Simply the safest way to handle your child.