WWE Shows Are The Model of Reliability and Consistency

[Coco]

I love the way the Stu’s camera hovers around the giant Ws right before Seth Rollins comes through the curtain. It gives me a warm, safe feeling. It reminds me that I’m watching WWE, and WWE is safe and familiar. It’s the safest you can feel in this cruel, unpredictable world. It’s like being held to your mother’s bosom every Monday night. And some Thursday nights. And the occasional Sunday night. That’s a lot of warm safety.

You know what else I love? I love the way WWE cuts to commercial in multi-segment matches after a spot that lays someone out on the floor. I like not having to stress out about the safety of the guy on the floor. I know he’ll be able to valiantly gut it out through the commercial break and contribute to a competitive, equitable finish to the match. It’s a similar warm, safe feeling. It’s the kind of safety that comes with trusting that your father is really working late and isn’t out banging his secretary. It’s the warm, safe feeling your mother gets from that fourth glass of wine on the aforementioned long nights. It’s a healthy routine that tells me everything is okay even when I can’t see the wrestlers and my mother can’t see my father.

You know what else I love? I love how in a big WWE main event match, you’ll get plenty of finisher kick-outs. Just like your parents won’t give up on their perfectly healthy and salvageable marriage, John Cena isn’t going to give up on that match until absolutely necessary. Even though Cena’s relentless kick-out-fests diminish the finishers of all competitors involved, similar to the way your father’s “work schedule” is diminishing your parents love for one another, it’s still safer than the alternative.

What are your favourite aspects of the familiar WWE format and formula?

 

[@smarkmouth]

I adore backstage segments, in which people converse with eachother, standing shoulder to shoulder with their heads turned to one another. It reminds me that these superstars are truly larger than life and don't do anything normal like us peasants.

 

[Azane]

I adore backstage segments, in which people converse with eachother, standing shoulder to shoulder with their heads turned to one another. It reminds me that these superstars are truly larger than life and don't do anything normal like us peasants.

Even better, is when they're discussing secret plans while a camera crew are staring at them.

 

[Jeff Deliverer of Mail]

I really love when a cameraman gets lost in the excitement of a match and has an epileptic fit on the zoom button. Strange enough, it only happens when a series of punches or kicks are being thrown. I love rubbing my eyes after everytime it happens.

 

[Jack-Hammer]

I just love...no scratch that, I absolutely adore, and I do mean A-D-O-R-E that no matter what WWE does, we always bitch about it. I mean, like seriously, all the complaints about how or why someone is or isn't getting pushed, who needs new entrance music or ring gear, how the wrestlers don't sell as long as they could, etc. are as much of the format as anything else when you get right down to it. No matter how well something is going, I know I can always count on someone to be there ready to take a giant shit all over it. 'Cuz, you know, I like totally get really nervous whenever nobody complains about anything and I think it's just the absolute bee's knees to see WWE especially get raked over the coals for practices or shortcomings that every other wrestling company is subjected to.

 

[Blade]

I love how the WWE title has customisable side-plates. From NWA to WWE, that's what's been missing from title belts throughout wrestling history: the champion having his cool logo on the belt. Because what's the point in being world champion if you can't change the belt to make it say, "FUCK YEAH, this guy's the champ!"

It's not a gimmick. It's a statement.

 

[@smarkmouth]

Even better, is when they're discussing secret plans while a camera crew are staring at them.

Indeed, who could forget the magical camera man remaining invisible to Heyman, Brad Maddox, and the SHIELD. Who knew WWE cameramen went to Hogwarts?

 

[Uncle Sam]

Edit: Don't worry, we already did mine.

 

[ShinChan]

When someone kicks outs of AA and Reigns' spear.

 

[Hollywood Naitch]

I love knowing that no matter how terrible life can become, I can always curl up on the sofa with a hot water bottle and a cup of cocoa, dim the lights and watch Stone Cold and Kurt Angle wearing cowboy hats while competing for Vince's affection on the WWE Network.

It makes me realise that maybe this cruel world isn't so bad after all...

 

[Coco]

Austin vs Angle at SummerSlam that year is one of the absolute best matches in company history. I know what I want to watch now.

 

[ヒュー　G.　レックション]

I would ALWAYS enjoy how people only hung on the second rope in Rey Mysterio matches.

 

[King Patrick Star]

I love how I can tune in on Monday nights from 8:00 – 8:15, and then from 9:00 to 9:15, and then from 10:00 – 10:15, and finally from 11:00 till when the show ends, just to see anything significantly important. I also love how I can just DVR every show, and only watch about 1/3 of the show for a little less than an hour, whenever I can’t catch it live.

Also…

I like big Belts and I cannot lie. You other fans can’t deny, that when a Champ walks in, with the leather round his waist, and the gold up in your face, you get sprung!!

 

[Poop Master Flex]

I love the fact that every Monday I can guarantee a good nights sleep, doesn't matter how twitchy I am throughout the day because after 3 hours of Raw, I'm ready for bed, even if the episode was good.

I love knowing every holiday episode will involve some sort of fight involving food or drinks.

I love knowing that Reigns will deliver whenever he has a big match, double that for Cena.

On top of that last point I love knowing the fans will bitch about their inability to wrestle, makes every match that much more enjoyable

 

[BaconBits]

I love finding the racists in the RAW LD threads.

 

[OYDK]

I love knowing that no matter how much fans bitch, there will always be other fans to bitch about those bitching fans.

Makes me all warm and tingly in funny places.

 

[Hollywood Naitch]

Austin vs Angle at SummerSlam that year is one of the absolute best matches in company history. I know what I want to watch now.

I need to rewatch that match, brilliant.

The Austin, Angle, McMahon storyline is probably my favourite period in wrestling ever. Absolutely hilarious and never gets old