Wrestling: Still Real in Australia?

[Turd Ferguson]

http://deadspin.com/5407896/wrestling-still-real-on-one-misguided-continent

Haha, you silly Australians.

It's laughable that some American newspapers put pro wrestling in the sports section, but it could be worse. It could be in the news section, as it is for one Aussie paper that doesn't seem to understand it's fake.

Now, if you just cried out, "What are you talking about? Of course it's real," please leave. Now.

This is an actual lede in the Daily Telegraph, the largest paper in Sydney:

Wrestler Hulk Hogan has been badly injured after a violent bloody brawl broke out at The Hulkamania promotional press conference at Star City today.

Oh, it gets worse. The paper goes on to breathlessly report that

[t]he press conference veered violently out of control today as Hogan and ring rival Ric Flair let their animosity break into a full-scale bloody brawl.

Sydney Central's photographer Phil Rogers has his flash broken when Flair threw a table off the stage and into the press gathering before diving on photographers. See the photo of the Hulk.

Media were stunned as Hogan's head began bleeding profusely and confusion broke out when the veteran wrestling star was unable to get to his feet.

Journalists narrowly missed being struck with the table and photographers ducked and weaved as Flair took off his trouser belt and began to whip anyone within range.

Not once is there even a wink to the audience that this was anything less than a premeditated assault in broad daylight, and Flair ought to be prosecuted for it. I considered that perhaps Australian sarcasm is so finely tuned as to elude us boorish Americans, but then I read some of the comments on the story.

These guys get seriously worked up about their sport! I hope Terry "The Hulk" Hogan is OK to wrestle. Ric Flair is a goose. HULK HULK HULK HULK HULK HULK HULK HULK HULK HULK HULK HULK HULK

Welcome to Sydney the lawlessness continues.

Ric Flair should be charged.

is this a gee up or is this for real

While Flair may or may not be "a goose," I'm pretty sure this was a "gee up." Ahh, Australia: same language, different planets.

 

[The Doctor]

"Terry 'The Hulk' Hogan"

Listen, I would love it if an article like that was in my newspaper. That's the kind of stuff that should be happening. It makes it more fun to get lost in the illusion.

 

[Lee]

Nintendo magazine called Donald Duck "donald the duck" I laughed

 

[Hip2bsquare]

Is a disgrace to all Australians. I had an email go around work yesterday say whoa look at this.

 

[J-Dogg]

The Aussie media are morons.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Journalists narrowly missed being struck with the table and photographers ducked and weaved as Flair took off his trouser belt and began to whip anyone within range.

Oh god, they don't specify what he was whipping them with

 

[Hip2bsquare]

The Aussie media are morons.

This. Saw it so many stations last night it was embarassing. Didnt look even one bit real.

 

[J-Dogg]

Yeah, and im not even going to the Tour.

 

[The Gribbler]

Yeah I must say the australian media latched on to this, although all the reports I saw knew it was a work. I can only hope and prey that the intellegence of my nations media is beyond this. Honestly I prey they were joking or we Aussies need to be more selective of our media.

Just My Opinion