thatwasawesome
Dark Match Jobber
The show opens up in a sold out madison square garden the pyros explode and we're off:
Mike Tenay: Hello ladies and gentlemen, I'm Mike Tenay along with Jonathan Coachman and what a show we have in store for you. Tonight we're going to introduce the entire WWA roster along with all the WWA championships to you.
Jonathan Coachman: Not only that, but we'll also have a special match between the 1996 olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle and the icon, the showstopper him self HBK Shawn Michaels.
Tenay: Oh man I can not wait for that one! How 'bout you J.C.?
Coach: Oh, you know I'm excited about this company if I'm actually willing to sit next to you just to see it.
Tenay: Would you stop that?! You'll be out of here!
Coach: OK, OK, you know I'm ju...
The music of John Cena hits the arena as the Dr. of thuganomics himself makes his way to the ring.
Cena: Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo!!!! Allow me to introduce myself to all you morons out here in New York City(The crowd boos). My name is Jawn Cena. And I am the future WWA world heavyweight champion (Crowd boos)! And there is not a man back there that can change dat!
(The music of Triple hits the arena and the game comes out and stands on the stage area)
Triple H: (Claps his hands in a slow clap) Bravo Cena! Bravo! (he claps some more)
Cena: Man! Would you just get on wit it and say what you wanna say already?
Triple H: OK. OK. Ya see, the reason I came out here just now is simply because, well, this is the first ever show that the WWA is holding and I wanted to come out here and stop you from talking before this entire crowd fell asleep from hearing your squeaky voice! (The crowd erupts). I couldn't take it anymore so I KNOW these fans couldn't take it any more. But I also heard something else that I found to be a little... interesting. I heard you say something about how YOU were the future first ever WWA world heavyweight champion.
Cena: Yeah that's right.
Triple H: Well, everyone in this entire arena knows that if anyone deserves to be the first ever world heavyweight champion... it's ME (the crowd erupts)!
Cena: Well then why don't you come on down here and prove that!
(Triple H drops his microphone and starts walking down the aisle).
(The music of JBL hits the arena and he makes his way onto the stage area)
JBL: Hold it right there Triple H! This is MY show, and I'll be damned if anyone is going to ruin it for me by injuring eachother one week before we even have our first show! So if you don't want to be suspended then I recommend that you get out of that ring without laying one finger on Cena. We don't have time for a match right now, but I'll tell you what I'll do, next thursday when our first airing of WWA Rush shows, you two will fight eachother one on one to start the night off. By the way, if either one of you wants to show that you are the future WWA world heavyweight champion, you better win that match since it will be a part of the world championship tournament that will be ending on September 17 at our first pay-per-view Genesis. Now get the hell out of my ring!
(JBL's music hits and he leaves to the backstage area while Triple H and John Cena are left in the ring in a stare down.)
(Segment time: 7 minutes)
-commercial break(3 minutes)
(A promotion is shown on the screen)
(The WWA Extreme Title is shown)
Deep voice: This is the WWA Extreme Championship Title Belt.
Deep voice: Only the truly brutal...
(A clip of Sabu v. Abyss in a barb wire rope match from TNA is shown)
Deep voice: Courageous...
(A clip of Rhino goring Abyss through six tables from TNA is shown)
Deep voice: Truly insane...
(A clip of sandman in ECW [pick your favorite] is shown)
Deep voice: Can hold this covited title.
(A clip of Sabu throwing a chair at Test's head is shown)
Deep voice: Oh yeah...and every match they fight in will have NO RULES!!!!!
This is the Extreme Championship division:
Deep voice: Rhino
(A clip of rhino goring someone through a table is shown)
Deep voice: Abyss
(A clip of Abyss slamming spike dudley on tacks in TNA is shown)
Deep voice: Sabu
(A clip of Sabu throwing a chair at someone's head is shown)
Deep voice: Test
(A clip of Test in ECW is shown)
Deep voice: Sandman
(A clip of Sandman caining someone is shown)
Deep voice: Hardcore Holly
(A clip of Hardcore holly beating the crap out of that kid from tough enough is shown)
Deep voice: and Kane
(A clip of Kane being thrown into the fired dumpster by Shane McMahon is shown)
WWA is for the EXTREME!!!!
Tenay: Welcome back everybody, and ooooh J.C. how excited are you about WWA's extereme division?
Coach: Well, professor, you know I'm definitely excited about this division, and how can you not be? This division is LOADED with wrestlers that were once a part of the legendary ECW. People such as Sandman who just canes his opponents until every bone in their body breaks.
Tenay: Rhino, the last ever ECW world champion and TV champion.
Coach: Sabu, a man that THROWS chairs at peoples faces just to win a match! He has fought in matches with a broken arm and a missing finger!
Tenay: Abyss, he's never been in ECW, however, he is without a doubt one of the best hardcore wrestlers of all time and his career is just getting started.
Coach: And Kane, Hardcore Holly, and Test have been known to be some of the sickest wrestlers in wrestling history!
Tenay: Well I'll tell you I can't wait to see those guys wrestle.
Coach: Well you won't have to wait too long Mike because on August 24th, WWA Rush will be airing for the first time at 9:00 ET/8:00 CT on Spike TV. Now, let's take it to the back with Todd Grisham standing by with Shawn Michaels and Traci Brooks. Take it Todd.
(Todd grisham is shown with Shawn Michaels and Traci Brooks)
Grisham: Thanks Mike, I'm standing by wit...
HBK: Shut up Grisham you little shemale!!!! (Traci laughs and hangs all over shawn) I'm sick of hearing idiots like you, Tenay, Coach, and that idiot Triple H moan all night long. So I've been making Traci here moan all night long, however, that's a type of moaning I do wanna hear. Anyways, tonight, I'm going one on one with the olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle in the first match that WWA has ever had. Do you know why they picked me Todd?... Well, do you?!
Grisham: I...um...don't know...Shawn...I...
HBK: You don't know? (Todd shakes his head) You're seriously going to stand here, face to face with me, the heart break kid, the show stopper, and seriously tell me that you don't know why they picked me to fight in the first ever WWA match? (Grisham just stares at Shawn with a scared look on his face) I'll tell ya why they picked me Todd. They picked me because of all the wrestlemania's that I've headlined. They picked me because of all the shows I've stole. They picked me because they know that I am the best in the business. They picked me because I got sex appeal and I'm the real deal. I lay my opponents out with... (Shawn super kicks Todd Grisham) my trusty heel (Traci laughs an evil laugh and hangs all over Shawn) (Shawn grabs Traci by the hand). Let's go baby, it's almost showtime, you can warm me up a bit more.
(segment time: 10 minutes)
-commercial-(3 minutes)
show time: 0:25
(The music of Gail Kim hits and she makes her way down to the ring)
Gail: How is everyone here in New York City?!!!(The crowd cheers) Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Gail Kim, and I am the sexiest (she starts to dance a bit), hottest, most talented woman on the WWA roster. I'd just like to say that...
(The music of Edge hits the ring and he makes his way down to the ring along with Lita).
Lita: Did I just hear you say that you're the most talented woman on the roster?
Gail: That's right.
Lita: Well, let me tell you something. I am the most talented woman on the WWA roster and you better learn to accept that bitch!
Gail: Most talented at what, getting on your knees for every guy in the back?!
(Lita tries to slap Gail, but Gail blocks it. Gail hits a standing hurricarana on Lita. As she waits for Lita to get back up, she turns around only to get a spear from Edge. Lita stands back up with a little help from Edge. Edge holds her back and Lita slaps Gail's face off. When Gail falls down Lita and Edge pick her back up. They each grab a chair and seem to be going for the conchairto. Right before they can pull the move off, Samoa Joe comes out and grabs Lita, but Edge manages to escape. Edge refuses to help Lita, and Samoa Joe grabs Lita and gives her the muscle buster off the top turnbuckle while Edge just watches. Tenay and Coach comment on how much of a coward Edge is. Joe helps Gail up and he and Edge yell at eachother as we cut to a commercial break.
(segment time: 10 minutes)
-commercial-(3 minutes)
show time: 0:36
(The No Limits title is shown).
Voice: This is the no limits championship.
(A clip of Senshi doing a double stomp off the turnbuckle is shown)
Voice: This title can only belong to those who take it to the limits in all of their matches.
(A clip of Sonjay Dutt doing a standing shooting star press is shown)
Voice: This title belongs to the wrestlers who are willing to take high risks.
(A clip of Amazing Red doing a 360 degree flip from the top turnbuckle is shown)
Voice: This title belongs to the wrestlers who give everything they have, simply for the entertainment of the wrestling fans.
(A clip of Ron Killings doing a springboard suicide dive to the outside is shown)
Voice: This is the no limits title. Also known as the NL title.
(End of promo)
Tenay: Coach, this is exactly why, I believe WWA is going to be a success. It's because WWA has something to offer to every wrestling fan.
Coach: That's right, if you're a hardcore fan, you'll love the extreme division. If you're a high flying fan, you'll love the NL division, if you're a fan of female matches or just love watching beautiful women tangle up with eachother, you'll LOOOOVE our women's division. If you're a fan of tag team matchups you'll love our stacked tag team division. And if you just like classic wrestling, you will also love our Heavyweight division and Continental division.
Tenay: That's right Coach. And you can catch all of those divisions on WWA Rush at 9:00ET/8:00CT on Spike TV starting next Thursday. But now, let's take a closer look at that continental division right now with wrestling analyst Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.
Bobby Heenan: The Continental title is so unique and is great simply because it gives an olympic type feel to it. The way this continental title works, is wrestlers from every continent match up to win the championship for their continent.
segment: 5 minutes
-commercial: 3 minutes
show time: 0: 44
Shawn Michaels v. Kurt Angle
Stipulation: 10 minute iron man match / Tournament for the WWA title
Winner: Shawn Michaels
(The referee becomes knocked out and Traci Brooks throws powder in the eyes of Angle giving Michaels the chance to lay him out with a chair for the win)
(segment: 16 minutes)
show time: 1:00
Mike Tenay: Hello ladies and gentlemen, I'm Mike Tenay along with Jonathan Coachman and what a show we have in store for you. Tonight we're going to introduce the entire WWA roster along with all the WWA championships to you.
Jonathan Coachman: Not only that, but we'll also have a special match between the 1996 olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle and the icon, the showstopper him self HBK Shawn Michaels.
Tenay: Oh man I can not wait for that one! How 'bout you J.C.?
Coach: Oh, you know I'm excited about this company if I'm actually willing to sit next to you just to see it.
Tenay: Would you stop that?! You'll be out of here!
Coach: OK, OK, you know I'm ju...
The music of John Cena hits the arena as the Dr. of thuganomics himself makes his way to the ring.
Cena: Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo!!!! Allow me to introduce myself to all you morons out here in New York City(The crowd boos). My name is Jawn Cena. And I am the future WWA world heavyweight champion (Crowd boos)! And there is not a man back there that can change dat!
(The music of Triple hits the arena and the game comes out and stands on the stage area)
Triple H: (Claps his hands in a slow clap) Bravo Cena! Bravo! (he claps some more)
Cena: Man! Would you just get on wit it and say what you wanna say already?
Triple H: OK. OK. Ya see, the reason I came out here just now is simply because, well, this is the first ever show that the WWA is holding and I wanted to come out here and stop you from talking before this entire crowd fell asleep from hearing your squeaky voice! (The crowd erupts). I couldn't take it anymore so I KNOW these fans couldn't take it any more. But I also heard something else that I found to be a little... interesting. I heard you say something about how YOU were the future first ever WWA world heavyweight champion.
Cena: Yeah that's right.
Triple H: Well, everyone in this entire arena knows that if anyone deserves to be the first ever world heavyweight champion... it's ME (the crowd erupts)!
Cena: Well then why don't you come on down here and prove that!
(Triple H drops his microphone and starts walking down the aisle).
(The music of JBL hits the arena and he makes his way onto the stage area)
JBL: Hold it right there Triple H! This is MY show, and I'll be damned if anyone is going to ruin it for me by injuring eachother one week before we even have our first show! So if you don't want to be suspended then I recommend that you get out of that ring without laying one finger on Cena. We don't have time for a match right now, but I'll tell you what I'll do, next thursday when our first airing of WWA Rush shows, you two will fight eachother one on one to start the night off. By the way, if either one of you wants to show that you are the future WWA world heavyweight champion, you better win that match since it will be a part of the world championship tournament that will be ending on September 17 at our first pay-per-view Genesis. Now get the hell out of my ring!
(JBL's music hits and he leaves to the backstage area while Triple H and John Cena are left in the ring in a stare down.)
(Segment time: 7 minutes)
-commercial break(3 minutes)
(A promotion is shown on the screen)
(The WWA Extreme Title is shown)
Deep voice: This is the WWA Extreme Championship Title Belt.
Deep voice: Only the truly brutal...
(A clip of Sabu v. Abyss in a barb wire rope match from TNA is shown)
Deep voice: Courageous...
(A clip of Rhino goring Abyss through six tables from TNA is shown)
Deep voice: Truly insane...
(A clip of sandman in ECW [pick your favorite] is shown)
Deep voice: Can hold this covited title.
(A clip of Sabu throwing a chair at Test's head is shown)
Deep voice: Oh yeah...and every match they fight in will have NO RULES!!!!!
This is the Extreme Championship division:
Deep voice: Rhino
(A clip of rhino goring someone through a table is shown)
Deep voice: Abyss
(A clip of Abyss slamming spike dudley on tacks in TNA is shown)
Deep voice: Sabu
(A clip of Sabu throwing a chair at someone's head is shown)
Deep voice: Test
(A clip of Test in ECW is shown)
Deep voice: Sandman
(A clip of Sandman caining someone is shown)
Deep voice: Hardcore Holly
(A clip of Hardcore holly beating the crap out of that kid from tough enough is shown)
Deep voice: and Kane
(A clip of Kane being thrown into the fired dumpster by Shane McMahon is shown)
WWA is for the EXTREME!!!!
Tenay: Welcome back everybody, and ooooh J.C. how excited are you about WWA's extereme division?
Coach: Well, professor, you know I'm definitely excited about this division, and how can you not be? This division is LOADED with wrestlers that were once a part of the legendary ECW. People such as Sandman who just canes his opponents until every bone in their body breaks.
Tenay: Rhino, the last ever ECW world champion and TV champion.
Coach: Sabu, a man that THROWS chairs at peoples faces just to win a match! He has fought in matches with a broken arm and a missing finger!
Tenay: Abyss, he's never been in ECW, however, he is without a doubt one of the best hardcore wrestlers of all time and his career is just getting started.
Coach: And Kane, Hardcore Holly, and Test have been known to be some of the sickest wrestlers in wrestling history!
Tenay: Well I'll tell you I can't wait to see those guys wrestle.
Coach: Well you won't have to wait too long Mike because on August 24th, WWA Rush will be airing for the first time at 9:00 ET/8:00 CT on Spike TV. Now, let's take it to the back with Todd Grisham standing by with Shawn Michaels and Traci Brooks. Take it Todd.
(Todd grisham is shown with Shawn Michaels and Traci Brooks)
Grisham: Thanks Mike, I'm standing by wit...
HBK: Shut up Grisham you little shemale!!!! (Traci laughs and hangs all over shawn) I'm sick of hearing idiots like you, Tenay, Coach, and that idiot Triple H moan all night long. So I've been making Traci here moan all night long, however, that's a type of moaning I do wanna hear. Anyways, tonight, I'm going one on one with the olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle in the first match that WWA has ever had. Do you know why they picked me Todd?... Well, do you?!
Grisham: I...um...don't know...Shawn...I...
HBK: You don't know? (Todd shakes his head) You're seriously going to stand here, face to face with me, the heart break kid, the show stopper, and seriously tell me that you don't know why they picked me to fight in the first ever WWA match? (Grisham just stares at Shawn with a scared look on his face) I'll tell ya why they picked me Todd. They picked me because of all the wrestlemania's that I've headlined. They picked me because of all the shows I've stole. They picked me because they know that I am the best in the business. They picked me because I got sex appeal and I'm the real deal. I lay my opponents out with... (Shawn super kicks Todd Grisham) my trusty heel (Traci laughs an evil laugh and hangs all over Shawn) (Shawn grabs Traci by the hand). Let's go baby, it's almost showtime, you can warm me up a bit more.
(segment time: 10 minutes)
-commercial-(3 minutes)
show time: 0:25
(The music of Gail Kim hits and she makes her way down to the ring)
Gail: How is everyone here in New York City?!!!(The crowd cheers) Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Gail Kim, and I am the sexiest (she starts to dance a bit), hottest, most talented woman on the WWA roster. I'd just like to say that...
(The music of Edge hits the ring and he makes his way down to the ring along with Lita).
Lita: Did I just hear you say that you're the most talented woman on the roster?
Gail: That's right.
Lita: Well, let me tell you something. I am the most talented woman on the WWA roster and you better learn to accept that bitch!
Gail: Most talented at what, getting on your knees for every guy in the back?!
(Lita tries to slap Gail, but Gail blocks it. Gail hits a standing hurricarana on Lita. As she waits for Lita to get back up, she turns around only to get a spear from Edge. Lita stands back up with a little help from Edge. Edge holds her back and Lita slaps Gail's face off. When Gail falls down Lita and Edge pick her back up. They each grab a chair and seem to be going for the conchairto. Right before they can pull the move off, Samoa Joe comes out and grabs Lita, but Edge manages to escape. Edge refuses to help Lita, and Samoa Joe grabs Lita and gives her the muscle buster off the top turnbuckle while Edge just watches. Tenay and Coach comment on how much of a coward Edge is. Joe helps Gail up and he and Edge yell at eachother as we cut to a commercial break.
(segment time: 10 minutes)
-commercial-(3 minutes)
show time: 0:36
(The No Limits title is shown).
Voice: This is the no limits championship.
(A clip of Senshi doing a double stomp off the turnbuckle is shown)
Voice: This title can only belong to those who take it to the limits in all of their matches.
(A clip of Sonjay Dutt doing a standing shooting star press is shown)
Voice: This title belongs to the wrestlers who are willing to take high risks.
(A clip of Amazing Red doing a 360 degree flip from the top turnbuckle is shown)
Voice: This title belongs to the wrestlers who give everything they have, simply for the entertainment of the wrestling fans.
(A clip of Ron Killings doing a springboard suicide dive to the outside is shown)
Voice: This is the no limits title. Also known as the NL title.
(End of promo)
Tenay: Coach, this is exactly why, I believe WWA is going to be a success. It's because WWA has something to offer to every wrestling fan.
Coach: That's right, if you're a hardcore fan, you'll love the extreme division. If you're a high flying fan, you'll love the NL division, if you're a fan of female matches or just love watching beautiful women tangle up with eachother, you'll LOOOOVE our women's division. If you're a fan of tag team matchups you'll love our stacked tag team division. And if you just like classic wrestling, you will also love our Heavyweight division and Continental division.
Tenay: That's right Coach. And you can catch all of those divisions on WWA Rush at 9:00ET/8:00CT on Spike TV starting next Thursday. But now, let's take a closer look at that continental division right now with wrestling analyst Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.
Bobby Heenan: The Continental title is so unique and is great simply because it gives an olympic type feel to it. The way this continental title works, is wrestlers from every continent match up to win the championship for their continent.
segment: 5 minutes
-commercial: 3 minutes
show time: 0: 44
Shawn Michaels v. Kurt Angle
Stipulation: 10 minute iron man match / Tournament for the WWA title
Winner: Shawn Michaels
(The referee becomes knocked out and Traci Brooks throws powder in the eyes of Angle giving Michaels the chance to lay him out with a chair for the win)
(segment: 16 minutes)
show time: 1:00