WPWA Massacre

[The Vintage One]

Let The Bodies Hit The Floor hits the arena and the pyro starts flying, it is time for the first ever episode of WPWA Massacre.

Bobby Heenan: Hello everybody and welcome to the first ever edition of WPWA Massacre. We are live from the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California, I am Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, and alongside me is none other then “The King” Jerry Lawler.

Jerry Lawler: And Bobby I am stoked to be here tonight. We will determine our first ever WPWA Global Champion, with our first ever Demolition Derby Match featuring every single superstar on the roster. Also we will have a four tag team tournament to determine who will face The Usos in three weeks to determine are first WPWA Global Tag Team Champions.

Bobby: But before we get everything started lets go to our great General Manger, Mr. McMahon.

Spoiler

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As Mr. McMahon’s music hits the ring, Mr. McMahon comes out to a chorus of boos, as he struts into the ring.

Vince: Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the first episode of WPWA Massacre. Now we have an unbelievable show for you tonight, as I plan to have every night considering I am booking it. Now mainly I will be backstage dealing with issues, and after this you will rarely see me out here, as at the top of the ramp you see a podium. On this podium will be my assistant, Mr. Michael Cole.

Michael Cole comes out to a chorus of boos.

Cole: Thank you Mr. McMahon.

Vince: Now Michael tell them about our main event tonight.

Cole: Well it is the first ever Demolition Derby match, it will have every superstar in the ring in an over the top battle royale.

Vince: And what about the stipulation to this match.

Cole: Ahh yes, the two men who make the most eliminations in the match, but do not win the Demolition Derby will be rewarded with a United States title fight on the second episode of Massacre.

Vince: That is it for me, Michael lead them out with the rest of the announcements as I head to my office.

Cole: No problem Sir. Well let’s hear the matches for the four tag team tournament to determine who faces the Usos in a couple of weeks. First we have Cryme Tyme vs Ink Inc. And our second matchup faces The Dude busters vs The Angel and The Beast, Justin Gabriel and Mark Henry. Now, for our first match of the night you will have to wait and see for yourself.

Spoiler

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Chimel: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 227 pounds, “Captain Charisma” Christian.

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And his opponent, from West Palm Beach, Florida, weighing in at 235 pounds, “The Fortunate Son” Ted DiBiase.

Heenan: DiBiase’s father who is a good friend of mine, tells me Ted has been waiting for a while now to get onto Massacre, and start to dominate with that million dollar trust fund he has. He feels like he can buy anything he wants.

Lawler: But that doesn’t mean he can buy himself victories.

The bell rings and the first ever match on Massacre is underway. The two lock up with DiBiase getting Christian into the corner. DiBiase goes for a quick blow but Christian ducks, and hits a slap to the face on DiBiase. DiBiase goes for another punch and the same result happens again. DiBiase is furious. As DiBiase and Christian lock up again, Christian gets the upper hand this time and gets DiBiase in an arm lock. DiBiase has no way to counter out of this except by backpedaling Christian into the turnbuckle. DiBiase lands several blows to Christian in the corner, as he then connects with an Irish whip. Christian bounces off the turnbuckle, only to be hit by a DiBiase clothesline. DiBiase goes for a quick cover.

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2.

Kick out

Heenan: DiBiase has the advantage early.

Jerry: Christian will battle back, he is too good and experienced to let him fall this down this early.

As DiBiase gets control of the match he then goes quickly into a headlock. Christian is in severe pain as the ref is asking him if he wants to continue. Christian says he is willing to continue, but deals with the pain of the headlock. DiBiase has complete control right now and Christian is trying to get the crowd behind him. The crowd starts clapping and DiBiase is shaking his head no as he has control of Christian with this brutal headlock. Christian starts to get to his feet, but he is struggling to get up. As Christian finally gets to his vertical base, he hits a couple of elbows to the stomach of DiBiase. DiBiase throws Christian off the ropes, but Christian holds on. DiBiase charges Christian for Christian to lower the bottom rope on him and DiBiase goes flying. Christian then goes to the top rope and hits the Cross body on DiBiase.

Heenan: What a great first match on Massacre, will DiBiase battle back or will Christian hang on? Find out after this commercial break.

COMMERICAL BREAK

Heenan: Welcome back to the first ever episode of WPWA Tuesday Night Massacre. Bobby Heenan here with Jerry Lawler beside me as we come back to Ted DiBiase in control of Christian once more. During the break, the ref was trying to break up Christian’s punches in the corner, which lead to a poke of the eye by DiBiase giving him control.

DiBiase has Christian once again in control as he has Christian in the corner, and DiBiase lands a beautiful head butt. DiBiase backs out of the corner and drags Christian by the head with him and connects with a DDT. DiBiase covers.

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2.

Kick out

DiBiase is furious over the count and covers again

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Kick out

DiBiase out of frustration grabs Christian’s head off the mat and slams him right back down. DiBiase then drops an elbow on Christian. He gets up and does it once more, and again for a third time. DiBiase then poses for the crowd as he goes for a fourth elbow, but this time Christian rolls out of the way. Both men are down as Referee Charles Robinson begins to count.

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Both men start to get to two feet

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Both men reach a vertical base but Christian gets up first. They begin to go blow to blow, and after three or four punches Christian gets the upper hand as he blocks several DiBiase punches and continues to hit his own punches. Christian runs off the ropes and connects with a clothesline. DiBiase quickly gets up and Christian goes for a shoulder block but DiBiase caught him, but Christian counters and hits a tornado DDT.

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2.

Kick out

Bobby: DiBiase will not quit.

Lawler: Wait till Christian hits the Killswitch, and DiBiase might need to use his money to buy some puppies to make him feel better.

As Christian gets up he begins to clap his hands signaling he his going for The Killswitch. DiBiase slowly gets up, and Christian tries to hit it, but DiBiase pushes him out of the way, and hits a kick to the midsection. He goes for Dream Street, but Christian battled out of it and out of nowhere KILLSWITCH!!!

Heenan: The Killswitch!!

Lawler: Wait, what is going on??

Instead of going for the cover, Christian jumps off the second rope and hits a dropkick out of nowhere on Tomko who came charging down the ramp. Christian then leans over the ropes to look at Tomko on the floor and when he turns around he runs into Dream Street. DiBiase hooks the leg and he goes for the cover.

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Chimel: Here is your winner, “The Fortunate Son” Ted DiBiase

Heenan: DiBiase wins.

Lawler: DiBiase steals a win is more like it.

Heenan: A win is a win, doesn’t matter how he does it, in the record books, DiBiase is 1-0, and the first ever winner on WPWA Massacre.

As DiBiase celebrates in the ring in comes Tomko, who then raises the hand of Ted DiBiase. DiBiase then orders Tomko to get a steel chair, which he follows with by grabbing two chairs. Tomko puts one chair under Christian’s head, and then uses the second one to hit the Conchairto!

Heenan: Oh my god, the Conchairto, and that is Christian’s patented move.

Lawler: It looks like DiBiase paid off another victory. I wonder if Christian will be able to compete in the Demolition Derby later on tonight.

Heenan: Shut up Jerry, somebody important like Teddy here as something to say.

DiBiase: You see that Christian, your time is up, it is a new era now. And we are here in a new company and a fresh beginning. But unfortunately for you, your beginning has already ended. I have your old buddy Tomko now, and I paid him to join me. As unfortunately for you, when he was your associate you still couldn’t win but with me, I will win championship after championship, and it will be Priceless.

Tomko: Christian, you sicken me. Back in the day, you were cocky and arrogant and didn’t a crap about what these pathetic fans thought of you. That is why I did this, this is why I joined Ted. He is a man, who wants to get the job done, and he doesn’t care how he does it, or who likes him for it. And plus he pays much better then you.

DiBiase: And Christian when I win the Demolition Derby tonight, and when Tomko gets the most eliminations in that match, and then next week goes on to win the U.S. Title match, we will be the most dominant group in the ENTIRE WPWA!!!!

Tomko: But boss, there is still one more title left on Massacre.

DiBiase: That reminds me to bring out the other two members of my faction. They are Jimmy and Jey Uso, The Uso Brothers!!!

Spoiler

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The Usos come down to the ring with a very loud chorus of boos.

Jimmy: Thanks Ted. Now why do you think we got the automatic bye to the finals of the tag team tournament.

Jey: Well because we are the best team on the roster, and everybody knows it.

Ted: And also because I paid off Vince McMahon. We are The Fortunate Four and we are here to make the rest of Massacre fortunate enough to have us carry all the gold.

The four pose in the center of the ring, as the camera heads off to commercial.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

The camera fades back into Josh Matthews backstage with his guest The Big Show.

Josh: My guest at this time is “The World’s Largest Athlete” The Big Show. Now Big Show, you are the odds on favorite to win the Demolition Derby later on tonight, and if you don’t win, you are expected to get the most eliminations to get you a U.S. Title shot. What is your strategy?

Big Show: Josh look at me.

Big Show flexes his muscles

Big Show: I don’t need a strategy. I just got to lift them up like this.

Big Show lifts Josh up and then puts him back down.

Big Show: And then throw them over the top rope. It really is as simple as that. I do not have a match other then the Derby, so I will be fresh and ready to go for this. I don’t plan on losing lets put it at that.

The camera fades out and fades back in to the entrance ramp.

Spoiler

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Chimel: This following contest is a first round match of the tag team tournament. Introducing first from Brooklyn, New York, at a combined weight of 525 pounds, Shad and JTG, Cryme Tyme!

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And their opponents, at a combined weight of 395 pounds, Shannon Moore and Jesse Neal, Ink Inc.

Heenan: Two punk teams here in this contest, maybe they can get a double count out and both lose.

Lawler: I like these teams, they got a lot of energy, and who doesn’t love all those tattoos. Makes me feel like me drawing as a kid on the walls, but instead it is all over their bodies.

Heenan: Shut up Jerry, nobody cares about 100 years ago.

As the ref rings the bell, it is JTG from Cryme Tyme and Shannon Moore from Ink Inc. starting the match off. The two lock up and JTG gets a quick side headlock but Moore throws him off the ropes, JTG ducks the first clothesline comes back with a shoulder block. Moore quickly gets up and JTG runs off the ropes again, but this time is caught with a missile dropkick from Moore. JTG quickly up after the dropkick, and this time Moore hits a kick to the midsection then drags JTG over to his corner and tags in Jesse Neal.

Moore is still holding on to the arm of JTG, as Neal climbs to the top rope and lands on the arm of JTG. JTG is screaming in pain, as Neal locks in the arm and then shove JTG into the corner. After a couple of blows, Neal lifts up JTG and slams him onto the mat, and then tags in Moore.

Heenan: Ink Inc. looking impressive early on.

Lawler: JTG needs to battle back or Cryme Tyme will have an early exit from the tournament

Moore is on the top rope and drops an elbow from the top rope. Moore covers.

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Kick out.

Moore is in shock, but then goes straight back to the injured arm of JTG, and he has it locked behind his back, as Moore has control. Shad is trying to pump up the crowd by waving his arm and slamming the turnbuckle, and JTG starts to respond to it by starting to get to a vertical base. As he is on one foot, he gets an elbow to the midsection. But Moore realizes that JTG is starting to comeback and just grabs JTG’S hair and slams it to the mat. Moore then quickly tags in Jesse Neal. Jesse Neal charges JTG who is lying in the mat on pain. Neal grabs the legs of JTG but JTG kicks him off. Both men are down on the mat as they begin to crawl to their teammates. They are both closer to Ink Inc.’s side, and Neal reaches Moore first and JTG is still in the middle of the ring. Moore chases after JTG, but as Moore turns JTG over to lift him up, JTG gets a small package out of nowhere. But instead of letting the ref count, JTG gets out of it and jumps towards Shad.

Bobby: And here comes the big man.

Lawler: It is a whole different game now.

Shad comes in off the hot tag and first at him is Shannon Moore who gets a big back body drop. Jesse Neal comes in to help out Moore but gets a big boot to the face. Shannon Moore recovered quick enough from the big back body drop to jump on the back of Shad and land a sleeper hold. Shad is struggling to one knee, as JTG comes in and drags Moore off the back of Shad. Neal charges at JTG, but JTG ducks and over the top rope goes Neal. Moore then goes to clothesline JTG out of the ring but JTG ducked. As Moore turns around, Shad picks him up and does a Samoan drop and JTG hits a running corkscrew neck breaker, also know as the G9!!! Shad the legal man makes the cover.

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Chimel: Here are your winners, Shad and JTG, Cryme Tyme.

Heenan: And Cryme Tyme steals another victory.

Lawler: How did they steal that one? Cryme Tyme actually won that match fair and square.

Heenan: Are you blind Lawler?

Lawler: Nope, as I am pretty sure I can see Husky Harris heading down to the ring right now.

Spoiler

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Chimel: Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome Husky Harris.

Husky: WPWA Massacre. Really, this is the brand I get put on. Vince McMahon didn’t like me back in the day so why would he put me on his roster? He thinks I am too fat to succeed. But guess what I am the Army tank with the Ferrari engine. And the reason Vince put me on his roster was to hold me back, and that is it. He likes his stars cookie cuttered and that is why he didn’t like me. It is why I was held back when I was trying to earn my way, and here I am today. I am the most athletic man on this roster, and Vince hates that. He is going to hold me back, know matter how good I do.

The lights flicker on and off.

Cole: Excuse me, Mr. Harris, but our General Manager, Mr. McMahon has just called me up and has told me something very important. He says that you are going to have a match tonight. And there are some stipulations to this match.

Husky: And what are they?

Cole: If you win, then you will be given a Global Championship shot at any time, and that doesn’t include The Demolition Derby.

Husky: Now that is what I am talking about.

Cole: But if you lose, you are out of The Demolition Derby match, and will not receive a title shot of any kind for 60 days. And here is your opponent….

Spoiler

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Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first on his way to the ring from Ghana, West Africa, weighing in at 221 pounds, Kofi Kingston.

And in the ring from Brooksville, Florida, weighing in at 295 pounds, he is “The Army Tank with the Ferrari Engine” Husky Harris.

Lawler: Great ruling by our boss here, Husky is just one big fat loudmouth.

Heenan: I kind of like him. He has that swagger and athleticism for such a big guy. He is kind of remarkable.

As soon as Kofi enters the ring, Husky Harris charges at Kofi Kingston, but Kofi ducks out of the way. As Husky turns around he runs into Trouble In Paradise. Cover.

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Chimel: Here is your winner, Kofi Kingston.

Heenan: What? The match didn’t even start.

Lawler: Yes it did, Husky made the first move and it backfired.

Heenan: I demand a restart.

Lawler: Too bad for Husky, he is now out of the Demolition Derby and doesn’t get a title shot of any kind for 60 days.

I can’t believe this is happening, but coming up after this commercial break we will have the first ever Cutting Edge on Massacre, and Edge’s special guest is none other then Kaval.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Spoiler

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Edge hits the ring and gets a standing ovation of boos. It is now time for the first ever edition of the Cutting Edge on WPWA Massacre.

Edge: Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the first edition of The Cutting Edge on WPWA Massacre. I am your amazing host, “The Rated R Superstar” Edge. And tonight, I will be the first ever WPWA Global Champion, as well as the first ever Demolition Derby winner. Every single roster member besides Husky Harris will be in this match. And every single one of these men will fall. In this Demolition Derby, it is unlike any battle royale, as anything goes. If somebody wants to bring in a weapon, then so be it. And since I am Rated “R”, that type of environment suits me perfectly. However, unfortunately there is one man in this match who the match type certainly does not favor, as he can barely see over the top ropes. This man is Kaval.

Spoiler

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Kaval: Ha ha Edge very funny. Well there is one thing that I will always have an advantage over you and that is heart. I will do whatever it takes to win this match, I am a Warrior, and I certainly can kick your ass in order to win too.

Edge: Whoa whoa there buddy calm down there. Take a seat, actually maybe you should stand on the seat so we can see face to face.

Kaval: That is so original there Edge. I am original, I am unique, and you are boring. You thing you are so tough, but what happens when somebody who is 60 pounds lighter and 6 inches shorter then you throws you over the top rope. Then what is going to happen.

Edge gets up out of his stool.

Edge: You know what is going to happen here, Kaval. You know what. I could make sure that doesn’t even happen, I can beat the living crap out of you right now and just like Husky Harris and probably Christian’s pathetic ass you can be sitting on the sidelines. Now you don’t want that to happen to you, now don’t we little one.

Kaval jumps out of his chair and lands on Edge and pummels him to the ground. Kaval starts to land punch after punch, until Edge rolls him over, and Edge gets his shots in. Then Kaval rolls over and gets up. He hits a couple of kicks, Kaval runs off the ropes and bam a dropkick out of nowhere. Kaval is heading to the top ropes, but before he can do The Warrior’s Way, the lights go on and off.

Cole: Kaval, I recommend you reconsider that. Because according to Mr. McMahon if you lay another hand on Edge, you will be thrown out of the Demolition Derby match and suspended on the spot.

Kaval jumps off the top rope, and is in complete shock as what just happened. Edge then rolls out of the ring, and stumbles up the ramp.

Cole: Good, now both of you head to the back, as The Demolition Derby is almost here.

Heenan: Before we can get to the Demolition Derby, we our second and final first round match of the tag team tournament. Who will face Cryme Tyme in the finals, will it be Angel and The Beast or The Dude busters? Find out after this commercial break.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Heenan: Welcome back to WPWA Massacre, and we have had an amazing show so far, but lets keep this ball rolling, and head straight into the final first round match of the tag tournament.

Spoiler

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Chimel: The following contest is a first round match of the tag team tournament with the winners facing Cryme Tyme next week. Introducing first, at a combined weight of 607 pounds, Justin Gabriel and Mark Henry, The Angel and The Beast.

Spoiler

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And their opponents, with a combined weight of 450 pounds, Caylen Croft and Trent Barretta, The Dude Busters.

Heenan: I love that name.

Lawler: How about The Angel and The Beast? That is creative.

Heenan: Oh yeah, very creative.

Lawler: Well these two teams aren’t really worried about their names at this point as they got a lot on the line right now.

Croft and Gabriel start it off for their respective teams with Gabriel getting the upper hand. Croft reverses out and now he gains control. The two are still struggling for position here, but Croft still has control and eventually just gets Gabriel to the corner. As Barreta enters the ring he goes for a kick to the midsection, but hits the turnbuckle, as Gabriel dives out of the way, and then jumps for Mark Henry. Henry slowly enters the ring and Barreta goes straight for him but gets quickly pushed away. In comes Croft to help out but gets the same result as Barreta. Croft quickly rolls out of the ring. Barreta gets back to his feet and charges Henry again but this time Henry lifts Barreta up and launches him onto Croft onto the outside. As the two slowly start to get up, Justin Gabriel goes to the top rope and does a 450 splash and lands on The Dude busters. Gabriel then rolls back into the ring as Henry and Gabriel pose for the crowd.

Heenan: The Angel and The Gorilla, I mean Beast are rolling. Will this continue when we come back to Massacre.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Heenan: Welcome back to WPWA Massacre, Bobby Heenan here and unfortunately alongside me is Jerry Lawler, and right now The Dude busters are in control.

Lawler: I feel the love too Bobby. But during the break, Henry was cheap shotted by Barreta with a chop block while Croft, the legal man, distracted the ref.

Heenan: It is all fair and game Jerry.

Barreta as Henry down and he lands a couple kicks to the back of Henry. Barreta then lands a quick neck breaker on Henry. Barreta quickly covers.

1.

Kick out.

Henry launches Barreta into the air as he kicked out. Barreta quickly goes to tag in Croft, and the two struggle to lift up Henry to his feet. The two then both run off the ropes and go for a double shoulder block, but Henry still doesn’t fall to his feet. This time Croft holds down Henry and Barreta runs off the ropes and goes for a cross body, but Henry shakes off Croft and Barreta lands it on Henry. Henry quickly goes in and tags in Justin Gabriel. Gabriel makes the hot tag and here he comes! Lands a punch on Barreta followed by a clothesline. Croft then gets clotheslined himself. They both go after Gabriel at the same time, but Gabriel ducks in and runs off the ropes and hits a double dropkick. Gabriel then covers the legal Croft.

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2.

Barreta breaks it up!!!

Heenan: Barreta saves the matchup there. Great strategy.

Lawler: We’ll see if it even matters in the end. Barreta after the breakup of the pin goes straight for Gabriel landing numerous blows to the head. Mark Henry comes in and lifts up Barreta and throws him to the outside of the ring. Henry is waiting for Croft to get up and as he does he hits the World’s Strongest Slam. Justin Gabriel heads to the top ropes, but as he does, The Usos come charging down the ramp, and Gabriel and Henry wait eagerly at the ring ropes for them to charge in. The Usos slowly make their way onto the apron, but from behind both Dude busters drop kick Henry and he falls to the outside but narrowly missing the Usos who jumped down to ringside. Gabriel then turns around and Croft lifts up Gabriel and does a power bomb as Barreta hits a neck breaker. Croft the legal man makes the cover as Barreta watches Henry on the outside.

1.

2.

3.

Chimel: Here are your winners, Caylen Croft and Trent Barreta, The Dude Busters!

Lawler: The Usos help the Dude Busters steal one here.

Heenan: Can you blame them? Now they will never deal with that gorilla Mark Henry.

Lawler: That is a cheap way to do it but nonetheless next week it is The Dude Busters vs Cryme Tyme next week and the winner will face The Usos for the WPWA Global Tag Team Championship.

Heenan: And coming up next is our Demolition Derby. Well, before we get to this lets head backstage to Josh Matthews with news on Christian.

Matthews: Thanks Bobby. Unfortunately it doesn’t look good for Captain Charisma, as the doctors have informed me that Christian will need to sit out the Demolition Derby match due to a concussion but he should be able to return in two weeks for the second episode of Massacre, where he will definitely look to seek revenge on The Fortunate Four. Back to you guys.

 

[The Vintage One]

Heenan: Lets get straight into our Demolition Derby match, and now here is Tony Chimel.

Chimel: The following contest is the main event and it is The Demolition Derby match. The rules are simple. Every member of the WPWA Massacre roster will be in this match except for Husky Harris and Christian. All of the competitors will start in the ring at the same time, and it will be an over the top battle royale and both feet must hit the floor for one to be eliminated. The two men who get the most eliminations will get a United States Title match in two weeks on the next edition of Massacre. And the last man standing will be the winner of the Demolition and the first ever WPWA Global Champion!!!!

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Introducing first, from West Palm Beach, Florida, weighing in at 235 pounds, “The Fortunate Son” Ted DiBiase.

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Introducing next, from Ghana, West Africa, weighing in at 221 pounds, Kofi Kingston.

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Introducing next, from parts unknown, weighing in at 350 pounds, “The Monster” Abyss.

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Introducing next, from Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 174 pounds, Kaval.

Heenan: When we come back, we will have the first ever Demolition Derby on the first edition of Massacre!!

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Heenan: Welcome back to WPWA Massacre and it is just about time for our first ever Demolition Derby match, just about everybody is in the ring as there are only two guys left to come out.

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Chimel: And introducing next, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 250 pounds “The Rated “R” Superstar” Edge.

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Chimel: And introducing next, from Winnipeg, Manitoba Calgary, Alberta, weighing in at 226 pounds, he is the best in the World at what he does, Chris Jericho.

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Chimel: And introducing last, he is 7 feet tall and weighs in at 500 pounds, he is “The World’s Largest Athlete” The Big Show

Heenan: Finally that is everybody.

Lawler: Let’s get this on the road.

As the bell rings, every member of the roster look at each other and go straight for The Big Show. Big Show tries to punch away each of the members, and he successfully does. Everybody is down and the first man up is Lucky Cannon. Lucky charges the Big Show and he caught him. Big Show then throws him over the top rope and Cannon is eliminated. After that elimination everybody starts to go away from Show and battle each other. In one corner is Ted DiBiase working on Michael McGillicutty, and opposite him is Abyss working on Kofi Kingston. Tag teams are sticking together as The Dude Busters are fighting Mark Henry. Croft and Barreta are doing the best they can to get Henry over the top rope but Henry shoves them away. The Dude Busters then charge Henry but Henry ducks and lowers the bottom rope and both Dude Busters are eliminated. Henry turns around to stare down the Dude Busters from earlier tonight, and Abyss from behind lifts Mark Henry by himself over the top rope. Henry is extremely pissed off. He is kicking the steel steps and banging on the apron, and Abyss is taunting him from the ring. Justin Gabriel tries to avenge his tag team partner but Abyss lifts up Gabriel and throws him to the outside, only to be caught by Henry and he throws him back in the ring.

Heenan: That’s cheating.

Lawler: Gabriel’s feet never hit the floor therefore he is not eliminated and Abyss can’t be happy, as he loses demolition elimination. So far four men have been eliminated, one by the Big Show, one by Abyss, and two by the eliminated Mark Henry.

Now back into the action we go, and we have Kaval, Kofi and Cryme Tyme fighting off the Fortunate Four. Kaval is dealing with Ted, Kofi on Tomko, and Cryme Tyme with the Usos. Kaval is landing some serious kicks on DiBiase’s legs, but Tomko breaks away from Kofi to help out Ted, and Tomko tries to body press Kaval but as he lifts him up Kofi from behind hits a dropkick causing Kaval to land on Tomko. Kofi then takes Ted out of the picture and Kaval heads to the top rope to do the Warrior’s Way. As Kaval attempts it out of nowhere is Edge with a SPEAR!!!!

Heenan: SPEAR!!! That’s what you get for going to the top rope midget.

Lawler: Whoa there Bobby, calm down. Kaval is a Warrior and is not out yet.

As Edge lands the spear, Abyss comes out of nowhere and picks up the damaged Kaval and throws him over the top rope.

Heenan: You spoke too soon Jerry.

Lawler: I guess so. But look at Edge, he isn’t happy with Abyss

Heenan: Well he stole his Demolition. That’s another for Abyss and 0 for Edge. But we have 5 men eliminated and who will be eliminated by the time we come back as our last commercial of the night is right now.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Heenan: And welcome back to WPWA Massacre, during the break we saw Michael McGillicutty eliminated by The Usos. Another man gone is Vladimir Koslov, who was tossed by Cryme Tyme. Also eliminated was Justin Gabriel by Abyss, for the second time, getting him up to three.

Lawler: And don’t forget Edge’s brutal elimination of Titus O’Neill.

Heenan: Yeah it was brutal and it goes Edge on the scoreboard. Lets see who is left. We have Abyss, Chris Jericho, Edge, Jesse Neal, The Usos, JTG, Kofi Kingston, Orlando Jordan, Shad, Shannon Moore, Ted DiBiase, Tyson Tomko, and The Big Show. That leaves us a total of 14 left and Abyss and Mark Henry are tied at two for most eliminations.

Lawler: Lets go back to the action now, shall we?

Jesse Neal and Shannon Moore are currently working on Orlando Jordan in the corner, and are trying to push him over. But instead Abyss comes out of nowhere, and lifts up Shannon Moore. Neal kicks Abyss to midsection making Moore head back to the mat. They are trying to lift up Abyss but it isn’t working and instead do a double DDT. Abyss is down and Neal heads to the top rope but Orlando Jordan who was still by the corner got up and tossed Neal off the top ropes and eliminates him. Moore cant believe it, who then tries to get Jordan over. Moore has him in the corner trying to lift him up but the recovered Abyss gets Moore from behind, and throws him into Jordan who was leaning on the ropes and they both fall over.

Heenan: If Abyss doesn’t win this thing he is almost a lock for the U.S Title match.

Lawler: It sure looks this way but at this point he has to be the favorite to win.

Abyss poses for the crowd, and then turns around and focuses on Kofi Kingston. Abyss then begins to charge Kofi, but of nowhere hits The Trouble in Paradise. The Big Show then comes to help get Abyss off the ground, and Big Show lifts him up handily. Big Show got Abyss up and over the ropes and he lands him on the aprons. Kofi comes from behind and drop kicks the Big Show who knocks Abyss off the apron. Big Show is teetering off the ropes and Kofi jumps over Show and lands a neck breaker which ultimately gets Big Show over the ropes, and his two feet hit the floor as Kofi stays on the apron.

Lawler: Unbelievable!!!! Kofi got rid of Abyss and The Big Show.

Heenan: Are you kidding? The Big Show knocked Abyss off, but Mr. McMahon has told Michael Cole who just told me in my head phones that both men will be credited with an elimination. So we got 9 left, and they are Chris Jericho, Edge, all four members of the Fortunate Four, which include Ted DiBiase, Tomko, The Usos, also in the match is Shad and JTG from Cryme Tyme, and Kofi Kingston.

Lawler: Abyss leads with 5 eliminations and in a 3 way tie for second is Kofi, Big Show and Mark Henry.

As Kofi gets back into the ring, he turns around into Shad trying to land a big boot on him, but Kofi ducks and Shad gets caught on the top rope. Jericho out of nowhere hits The Code Breaker on Shad who falls off the rope and lands on the floor, and he is eliminated. Jericho turns around and Edge tries to land a Spear, but Jericho side stepped it. Jericho then attempts to throw Edge over, but he lands on the apron. Edge and Jericho go blow to blow, until Edge finally gets the upper hand and gets Jericho out of the way. But before Edge can even attempt to get back in, Kofi Kingston out of nowhere hits Trouble in Paradise, which knocks Edge off the apron and we are now down to 7!

Heenan: Kofi is unbelievable!

Lawler: And with that, Kofi gets sole position of second place in eliminations.

JTG tries to go after Ted DiBiase but that was a mistake, as Tomko and The Usos are right there to help DiBiase. The Usos lift up JTG, and allow Tomko to hit a big boot. The Usos lift him up again and DiBiase lands Dream Street. Tomko then picks up JTG and easily throws him over the top rope.

Heenan: Thanks for coming JTG.

Lawler: It was 4 on 1 what do you expect?

Heenan: For JTG to use his brains, but then I realized he is a street thug and has no brains

As The Fortunate Four turn around, they see that Kofi Kingston is alone as Jericho has decided to join forces with the Fortunate Four for the time being. Jericho then backs off as The Four try to stalk Kofi in the corner. They then begin to lay several blows on Kofi Kingston. Kofi is getting nailed with punch after punch, and The Fortunate Four are going to try the same strategy they did to JTG. The Usos lift him up and Tomko goes for a Big Boot. However, Kofi ducks it and it lands Jey Uso in the face. As Kofi tries to avoid the Fortunate Four, he runs into Chris Jericho who lands the Code Breaker! Jericho seems to have pleased himself and starts showing off to the Fortunate Four, and begins to slap the chest of Tomko in joy. Tomko, however, is not pleased and tries to lift Jericho up and throw him over how Jericho slides out before he can get tossed and Jey Uso charges Jericho and Jericho lowers the bottom rope and Uso falls to the floor. Jimmy then tries to do the same thing as Jey but gets the same result as Jey and Jericho lowers the top rope and Jimmy falls right over to the floor.

Heenan: Unbelievable!! Jericho got rid of both Usos and we are down to four. Jericho now has 3 eliminations and that ties him with Kofi Kingston.

Lawler: We have Jericho, Kofi, Ted and Tomko. Ted and Tomko will most certainly work together and do whatever it takes to get The Fortunate Four’s leader Ted DiBiase the gold, so he is my choice.

Heenan: For once Jerry, we may agree on something.

Tomko and DiBiase are on side of the ring, and Jericho and Kofi are on the other half. Kofi and Jericho nod at each other, then begin to charge DiBiase and Tomko, but then Jericho pushes Kofi into Tomko who lands a clothesline. Tomko then begins to lift up Kofi, and as Kofi goes to his feet out of nowhere hits Trouble in Paraidse. DiBiase doesn’t led Kofi get any momentum, and he then goes right for Kofi and lands a clothesline of his own. Jericho then tries to gain on the opportunity and lift Kofi over the top rope but DiBiase isn’t happy and goes for Jericho and lets Kofi stay in the match. Jericho and Ted then stare each other down, and get into a shoving match. Kofi finally gets up and hits a dropkick nailing both of them in the face. Tomko recovered from Trouble in Paradise and goes for Kofi, but Kofi doesn’t let it happen and continue to gain control of Tomko, and tries to eliminate him but Tomko lifts Kofi up and throws him over, but Kofi manages to hang on to the apron. Tomko doesn’t realize it as he turned around back to the ring but as soon as he once turns around again he realizes Kofi does a hurricanarana on Tomko and tries to throw him over, but Tomko only lands to the apron. Jericho then jumps off the ropes and hits a kick to the face of Tomko, but it still doesn’t eliminate Tomko. Kofi then tries to push Tomko off, and Ted DiBiase realizes this. He charges Kofi but Kofi ducks out of the way and Ted ends up pushing Tomko off the apron and onto the floor.

Heenan: TED ELIMINATED TOMKO!!!

Lawler: And now lets see how Ted does on his own. We are down to 3.

Heenan: This is epic!

DiBiase can’t believe what just happened. And when he turns around Kofi then tries to throw Ted off the ropes but can only get him onto the apron. DiBiase is on the ropes closest to the ramp, and he then begins to fight off Kofi and lands a couple of punches, and eventually pushes Kofi away. Jericho then goes for the Code Breaker but Ted avoids it and Jericho hits the mat. As soon as Ted tries to get into the ring, Christian comes from behind and starts pulling the leg of DiBiase. DiBiase is trying to shake him off and after about 3 or 4 seconds he finally does. He then once again tries to get in the ring but at that point Kofi hits another Trouble in Paradise and Ted is eliminated. After Ted hits the floor he is screaming at the ref and is furious. When he turns around to head back to the backstage area, he runs into The Killswitch! Christian then poses for the crowd as heads to the back.

Heenan: Ted got screwed! Ted got screwed!

Lawler: No Christian got his revenge. That was unbelievable, and now we have our final two.

Kofi is leaning over the top ropes as he watched Christian hit the Killswitch on Ted after Kofi eliminated him. And as he is leaning on the ropes, Chris Jericho comes from nowhere and pushes Kofi off the top ropes and eliminates him.

Chimel: Here is your winner, and the NEWWWWW WPWA Global Champion, Chris Jericho!

Heenan: Jericho did it ladies and gentleman. He won the first ever Demolition Derby and is our new Global Champion. And according to my score tallies, Abyss had 5 eliminations, Kofi had 4, and Jericho had 4. But since Jericho won it will be Kofi vs. Abyss for the U.S. Title in two weeks.

Lawler: This has been a crazy first show and I can’t wait for two weeks and we will see who faces The Usos to crown our first Global Tag Team Champs and then as you said our U.S. Title shot.

Heenan: What else will be in stored for Massacre in two weeks in Portland Oregon? You will have to come back and find out, for Jerry “The King” Lawler, I am Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, goodnight everybody!

Camera Fade Out!

 

[Uncle Sam]

That was pretty good. Pretty, pretty, pretty good. The ideas on show were pretty interesting. Some stream-of-consciousness type notes - forgive me if they seem out of order.

• The Fortunate Four are an interesting variation on - I'm guessing - the Four Horseman. I say that because, well, they have "four" in their name. And there's four of them. I'm a sharp one, me. I'm interested to see how you'll develop the DiBiase/Christian feud.
• I'm sold on the idea of Gabriel and Henry as a tag team; which I wasn't expecting to be. I particularly enjoyed the spot where Henry caught Gabriel and put him back in the ring.
• Your tag division as a whole is pretty, um, full. There's a better word that I was searching for but it escapes me right now.
• The way that everyone was given an incentive to go after eliminations was good. I never understood why people don't just try and sit most of the match out so you plugged up the logic there.
• I was hoping for a Kofi win and will be disappointed if you don't develop a Kofi/Jericho feud. It would seem, however, that you're putting Kofi in the US Title part of the show. Sad face.
• A lot of Heenan and Lawler's back and forth was pretty snappy. I think you made the right choice in making Lawler the face. However, I feel as if sometimes their personalities aren't coming through and they're just being used for exposition.
• I'm not entirely sure of the idea of Cole being the "acting GM." I'd definitely recommend throwing in some backstage segments with Mr. McMahon.
• I don't like Cryme Tyme or Abyss, so I didn't like that they were built up. You can hardly be blamed for that though.
• I feel as if your matches could be more concise and would read better with more simple sentences and less complex ones. For example, "Christian is in severe pain as the ref is asking him if he wants to continue." reads better as "Christian is in severe pain. The ref asks him if we wants to continue."
• Let The Bodies Hit The Floor? OK, I appreciate my theme uses the word "mug" copiously but come on man, show some creativity.
• Oh, and I like how Kaval was booked. Not unlike Daniel Bryan making The Great Khali tap out. Not like it either - but not unlike it...

Um, yeah, I think that's about it. Impressive stuff.