Which Law and Order is the least shit?

Gelgarin

Gentleman of the Old School
I find myself with some free time and nothing worthwhile to fill it on account of everyone around me being Russian. My original plans of *********ion, self harm and cookery all fell through, so I thought I might try marathoning a mediocre TV series for a bit.

With that in mind, which Law and Order should I watch? There seem to be a hundred million of the fuckin' things and I don't know where to start. I like my police procedurals to border on realism as much as possible, I like my main casts to stay consistent between series as much as possible unless their departure is an actual plot point (guy dies in season finale is OK, guy randomly doesn't show up because actor left the show, not fine) and I generally like things no to be shite.

I'm going to go and buy some paint to sniff; I eagerly await your recommendations.
 
If I cant find Dragnet anywhere then I wont bother with police procedurals. If you must watch Law & Order however then I know the UK one aint too bad as long as you only watch the parts with Bradley Walsh.
 
I find myself with some free time and nothing worthwhile to fill it on account of everyone around me being Russian. My original plans of *********ion, self harm and cookery all fell through, so I thought I might try marathoning a mediocre TV series for a bit.

With that in mind, which Law and Order should I watch? There seem to be a hundred million of the fuckin' things and I don't know where to start. I like my police procedurals to border on realism as much as possible, I like my main casts to stay consistent between series as much as possible unless their departure is an actual plot point (guy dies in season finale is OK, guy randomly doesn't show up because actor left the show, not fine) and I generally like things no to be shite.

I'm going to go and buy some paint to sniff; I eagerly await your recommendations.
Law and Order SVU has a consistent cast starting with (I think) Season 2, when Ice T joins. The next major cast-change didn't happen for a good 10 years (which is a "guy doesn't show up because actor left the show), but it's probably the best one, especially considering it's the only one left.
 
Why would you watch this when there are at least two dozen television shows that are better than any incarnation of Law and Order?
 
Because I am unable to think of anything that I either haven't already seen or already decided that I dislike.

That being said, SVU is getting shelved after one episode due to being unbelievably badly acted. That was the worst monologue on the subject of getting raped with a broom handle that I have ever heard.

Now I need to find something new; be a sport and name those two dozen franchises would you?
 
Not surprised. I didn't expect you to stay with something starring a man named "Ice T."
 
I went on an SVU kick for awhile, but after so long, I got tired of the same, repeated rape stories. So now I stick mainly to the original, reruns obviously. But if you don't like changing cast then I wouldn't recommend it. I haven't seen seasons all the way through since I just watch it on TV, but I don't know if the plethora of changes occur through storylines. I know a few do, but that's it.
 
SVU might be one of the most depressing shows I have ever had the displeasure of watching. I wouldn't call any incarnation of L&O mediocre so much as I describe it as absolute shit.

Have you tried Luther, or The Shield?
 
I've always heard that Homicide was pretty much like Law and Order, but better. You should try Homicide.
 
Барбоса;4346427 said:
I'd go for all five series of Boston Legal instead though.
For fans of James Spader making preachy political monologues?

I haven't seen the show. But that's how I imagine it.
 
I've watched every episode of Law and Order SVU. It's my favorite show. Sue me.

I always found Criminal Intent to be a chore to get through one episode.

I miss Jerry Orbach.
 
I found Vincent D'onofrio working stuff out from staring at a room in Law & Order: Criminal Intent stupidly awesome.
 
Барбоса;4346487 said:
Oh there is preachiness in it, all right. Most of it liberal.

But it is overshadowed by the lunacy surrounding Denny Crane, Alan Shore, Shirley Schmitt, Jerry Espenson et al.
Since I'm familiar with your taste, I'll ask:

We're not talking House-style lunacy, are we?
 
I have no problem with silliness. But the House-Wilson relationship went so OTT and violated so many boundaries after a while that it stopped resonating with me.
 
Барбоса;4346427 said:
SVU is fine for some mindless viewing, as is any of the Law and Order franchise.

I'd go for all five series of Boston Legal instead though.

I watched the first season quite recently but couldn't get past my contempt for the protagonist.

This will upset Sly, but he's exactly the kind of nerd-bait Mary Sue I've never been able to stomach. Supremely intelligent and totally unflappable with a witty comeback for every occasion. Moral but plays by his own rules because he's above the system. Antisocial and dismissive towards all of his "intellectual inferiors" yet unaccountably irresistible to every single attractive female on the show. Oh, and he always wins. Maybe he gets better in later seasons - thought if I were a betting man I'd wager on him staying exactly the same and just being increasingly angsty about it.
This is probably the same reason I never liked Dr House.

The practice took a lot of similar traits for Bobby Donnell, but Donnell was portrayed as a human, relatable and utterly tragic figure, as opposed to some kind of all powerful legal demigod.

Did you have to put all your books in the fireplace?

A steaming inferno known as the UK. I have read all the books I brought with me except for The God of Small Things, which is doing Stirling work propping up one corner of my laptop to keep it from overheating.

I'm currently reading copy of Master and Margarita (which is fuckin' amazing, read it) that I stole from another teacher, but I left it at the office and I can't be having with making the two minute walk in order to get and get it.

I eventually settled on season one of Damages, and I've found it to be astonishingly competent and watchable for something I've never heard of. The first episode in particular is exceptional, though I have a feeling in my stomach that the plot is going to become increasingly convoluted and illogical as time goes by.

Still, fingers crossed.
 
I liked the very short lived Trial By Jury.

Seeing how it was canceled I was probably in the Minority
 
This is probably the same reason I never liked Dr House.

The comparison between Shore and House is a good one. Both are immensely good at what they do despite being emotionally/physically damaged.

Cracks certainly do appear in Alan Shore from time to time - his affliction with Word Salad being particularly memorable - but they rarely last.

The writers and producers of Boston Legal do pick up on Shore's repeatedly long winded closings and poke fun at it and he does lose on occasion (unlike Denny, who remains undefeated regardless of the ridiculousness of the case).

The one thing that the makers of Boston Legal do better than those of House is that they do manage to diversify the focus of the show enough that it is not solely about Alan and Denny's interactions. Some of the secondary cast is rather poor at times - season 1 has decent characters in Brad Chase, Sally Heap, Tara Wilson, Paul Lewiston and Lori Colsen but aside from Lori they are largely redundant as they usually just interact in some way with Denny or Alan while season 3 has the awful paralegals in Garret and Sara - but the additions of Shirley Schmitt, Jerry Espenson, Clarence Bell and later Carl Sack and Katie Lloyd work well and can even take the main story away from Denny and Alan on occasion.

However, for House I found a lot of the guest stars/secondary characters and even the team are completely swamped by the character of House.
 
I watched the first season quite recently but couldn't get past my contempt for the protagonist.
I was going to make some suggestions, but now....screw off. ;)

As mentioned, the best police procedural is easily Dragnet. I prefer the color version in 1967. But of the Law and Orders, I prefer SVU. The first season is a little rough, but by the time the 4th season comes around, they are really rolling. Oh, and the first season is definitely the weakest season of Boston Legal.

This will upset Sly
The only knife more damaging would have been one with Matt Damon's name on it.

Supremely intelligent and totally unflappable with a witty comeback for every occasion.
Not really, especially as you get further in. There are numerous times when he's rendered inarticulate, though usually due to some psychological or emotional scarring which occurred in his life before he appeared in The Practice.

Moral but plays by his own rules because he's above the system.
I wouldn't say that nearly as much as I would say he doesn't allow the system to interfere with his morals. But this changes over time also, and it's openly acknowledged on the show by Shore himself, as is the reason for his change.

Antisocial and dismissive towards all of his "intellectual inferiors" yet unaccountably irresistible to every single attractive female on the show.
Most of them yes, but not all. I'm thinking mostly of Shirley Schmidt, which makes sense as two of the most attractive qualities women find in men are power and wealth, and Schmidt is more powerful and more wealthy. And of the ones you would have seen in the first season, two of the three who are attracted to him became attracted to him during the last season of the The Practice (Sally and Tara), so only Lori Colson is the inexplicably and unexplainably attracted to Shore woman.

Oh, and he always wins. Maybe he gets better in later seasons - thought if I were a betting man I'd wager on him staying exactly the same and just being increasingly angsty about it.
Actually, he loses quite often. But remember, Shore is playing the character of an incredibly gifted lawyer at an incredibly prestigious firm in an incredibly prominent legal city. By the very nature of the character, he has to win often. Most lawyers in his position do win often, or they are not in his position.

The practice took a lot of similar traits for Bobby Donnell, but Donnell was portrayed as a human, relatable and utterly tragic figure, as opposed to some kind of all powerful legal demigod.
I'm not sure how you can call Shore any different. Alan Shore, outside of his incredible ability to practice law, is an absolute wretch of a man, incapable of being in love and/or being loved, whose childhood was broken by terrible parenting and has rarely allowed anyone to become close to him. And yet, despite his flaws, his empathy for humanity is nearly unwavering and those he does choose to care about, he is extremely loyal to them.

Барбоса;4347133 said:
The writers and producers of Boston Legal do pick up on Shore's repeatedly long winded closings and poke fun at it and he does lose on occasion (unlike Denny, who remains undefeated regardless of the ridiculousness of the case).
Shore's closings are simply amazing and his first time before the Supreme Court is easily one of my favorite moments in television.

while season 3 has the awful paralegals in Garret and Sara
Actually, those two were in Season 2. And, if I remember correctly, Garret and Sara were added in because the first few episodes of Season 2 were originally planned to be in Season 1 (but weren't), and the paralegals were added in to flesh out the story with Denise. Denise WAS part of the Season 2 cast, but since the first few episodes were not going to include her (since she wasn't part of Season 1), they shot the side story with Denise and gave the paralegals a role to help carry the side story. You'll notice that after the first few episodes of Season 2, Sara is gone completely and Garret shows up much less often.

but the additions of Shirley Schmitt, Jerry Espenson, Clarence Bell and later Carl Sack and Katie Lloyd work well and can even take the main story away from Denny and Alan on occasion.
Jerry Espenson's character is phenomenal. In many ways, several episodes revolve around him instead of Alan and Denny.
 
Actually, those two were in Season 2. And, if I remember correctly, Garret and Sara were added in because the first few episodes of Season 2 were originally planned to be in Season 1 (but weren't), and the paralegals were added in to flesh out the story with Denise. Denise WAS part of the Season 2 cast, but since the first few episodes were not going to include her (since she wasn't part of Season 1), they shot the side story with Denise and gave the paralegals a role to help carry the side story. You'll notice that after the first few episodes of Season 2, Sara is gone completely and Garret shows up much less often.

Ah of course. Silly mistake there. Season 3 is Jeffrey Coho and Claire Sims, along with Clarence. Definitely plenty of turn over with characters in Boston Legal. Hadn't heard about the first few episodes of season 2 being season 1 episodes.

I do love me some Jerry Espenson though. Great stuff and I think his partnership with Katie Lloyd is good too.

Funny you should mention the first Supreme Court appearance as it is the next episode I am about to get to in my watch through.
 
Барбоса;4347193 said:
Ah of course. Silly mistake there. Season 3 is Jeffrey Coho and Claire Sims, along with Clarence.
Coho is hard to watch. Sims is okay and I like Clarence.

Hadn't heard about the first few episodes of season 2 being season 1 episodes.
When you go back and watch them again, you'll notice how little overlap there is between the Denise story and everyone else. It will make sense. I think the story is that somebody (network or show) wanted the execution case which ended the first season to be the last episode of the season. You'll also notice how Tara "leaves" 2 episodes into the second season, which again, makes more sense if you figure those first 2 episodes were originally planned for the first season.

I do love me some Jerry Espenson though. Great stuff and I think his partnership with Katie Lloyd is good too.
Agree completely.

Funny you should mention the first Supreme Court appearance as it is the next episode I am about to get to in my watch through.
If you haven't seen it yet, then I'll just let you appreciate it for what it is.
 

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