..We've all done it. Being the wingman. Wingmanning it up. Doing what has to be done to make sure your bud goes home with the lady of choice. It has variations under Man Law and Bro Code, but it is always the same. Do your manly duty.
Disclaimer: When in Wingman mode many men do not think as chivalrously or as "politely" as they would normally. The goal is to get your friend with who they want, not to be nice. If you are offended by the contents of this thread, I wasn't trying to pick you up last night so it's fine.
I, yesterday, was called upon to Wingman for my bro. He was wanting to date a chick, and he needed an opening to seal the deal for a date later on in the week. He was hoping a excursion to a local club on Dixon for the weekly "Gay Night" (which happens to be a favorite Sunday excursion for straight women in Fayetteville...I'll never know why.) would be just the window. However, the chick he was hoping to bang was bringing along a friend. And so, the Trumpets were sounded.
I alone answered the call, after the obligatory Facebook search of the friend in question. It was going to be the ultimate test of my Wingman arsenal. The friend was needy and slightly emo, with a dash of crazy. I would need the help of the Cosmic Dude for this one.
My friend and I went to Gibson, the dorm in which the ladies resided. As I was running over various games to run in the course of the night, 4 girls exited the building. One was the girl in question, my friend's hopeful date for next week. The 3 other girls were coming along, and my challenging night of Wingman duty suddenly turned into an impossible Wingman Marathon. How would I, the Razor, handle such a daunting task? Easy. I manned up and took the challenge head on.
As we were walking down Dixon Street to the club it was easy enough to distract the 3 girls and get my friend and his potential date alone for the walk. However, when in line for the club, I had to fall back and allow the group to mingle. One of the girls started crying because of something a group behind us said about her, of which I did not catch. However, I saw an opening. This girl would be the one to pick up, and hopefully the other two girls would break away and dance by themselves. This would leave my friend and his target date alone to do their business. I was proud of the idea, yet ashamed that I would think such a thing. My ethics were still in effect, but the Wingman duty overrode.
We were in the club, dancing. The chick I was trying to separate from the group to start the plan into affect starting grinding on me. I took this opportunity to slightly separate her from the group and create a chasm. It worked. The two excess chicks dispersed, the chick I was dancing with was focused solely on me, and my friend had his target girl all to himself.
However, after the night ended, I came to realize that a double play was in effect. The target girl was, in fact, separating the group out so that I would end up in bed with the girl I was dancing with. My friend was not the target of the target girl's advances, but rather a pawn in this play that I thought I had orchestrated. I was the target of counter-wingman action, and I was about to pay the price.
I quickly got out of the club, claiming sickness. My buddy rushed outside with me, and it was there that I communicated my worries. He wouldn't have any of it, and in the midst of arguing the target girl and her friends walked up. Needless to say, the argument was cut short and my friend had won. Bro Code dictated that I stick it out until I was relieved of my Wingman Duties.
We went back to Gibson, and the group separated inside. The target girl and my friend went up to her room, as was expected on my end. No counter-wingman action would be complete without this touch. The two girls went their respective room, and I was alone with the girl I was dancing with. I bugged out of there, using the tried and true "My friend just got really wasted and puked all over my bed/half of the room. I need to go see what I can salvage" excuse.
And now I have one girl, the girl I was dancing with, after my wang like it was a bubblegum flavored lollipop and she was Violet Beauregard. To top it all off, my friend couldn't seal the date for later this week. Despite my every attempt, I was foiled by the cunning actions of a counter-Wingman maneuver, and couldn't cover my bases. Hoepfully Cosmic Dude doesn't hate me so.
This thread is for a few things.
1) Critique my Wingman plan, and console me on how it wasn't all my fault that my friend didn't get the date.
2) Discuss your own Wingman activities and adventures
3) Discuss the awesome that is the Cosmic Dude. If you do not know of the Cosmic Dude, then I shall post a description of the Cosmic Dude for all to read and be enlightened
4) Discuss Man Law or the Bro Code. We only accept the International Law of Man, or the one without the blasphemous Law "Thou shalt not be gay." There are plenty of manly gay men, and this thread will not be subject to the tomfoolery of the other Man Law.
Disclaimer: When in Wingman mode many men do not think as chivalrously or as "politely" as they would normally. The goal is to get your friend with who they want, not to be nice. If you are offended by the contents of this thread, I wasn't trying to pick you up last night so it's fine.
I, yesterday, was called upon to Wingman for my bro. He was wanting to date a chick, and he needed an opening to seal the deal for a date later on in the week. He was hoping a excursion to a local club on Dixon for the weekly "Gay Night" (which happens to be a favorite Sunday excursion for straight women in Fayetteville...I'll never know why.) would be just the window. However, the chick he was hoping to bang was bringing along a friend. And so, the Trumpets were sounded.
I alone answered the call, after the obligatory Facebook search of the friend in question. It was going to be the ultimate test of my Wingman arsenal. The friend was needy and slightly emo, with a dash of crazy. I would need the help of the Cosmic Dude for this one.
My friend and I went to Gibson, the dorm in which the ladies resided. As I was running over various games to run in the course of the night, 4 girls exited the building. One was the girl in question, my friend's hopeful date for next week. The 3 other girls were coming along, and my challenging night of Wingman duty suddenly turned into an impossible Wingman Marathon. How would I, the Razor, handle such a daunting task? Easy. I manned up and took the challenge head on.
As we were walking down Dixon Street to the club it was easy enough to distract the 3 girls and get my friend and his potential date alone for the walk. However, when in line for the club, I had to fall back and allow the group to mingle. One of the girls started crying because of something a group behind us said about her, of which I did not catch. However, I saw an opening. This girl would be the one to pick up, and hopefully the other two girls would break away and dance by themselves. This would leave my friend and his target date alone to do their business. I was proud of the idea, yet ashamed that I would think such a thing. My ethics were still in effect, but the Wingman duty overrode.
We were in the club, dancing. The chick I was trying to separate from the group to start the plan into affect starting grinding on me. I took this opportunity to slightly separate her from the group and create a chasm. It worked. The two excess chicks dispersed, the chick I was dancing with was focused solely on me, and my friend had his target girl all to himself.
However, after the night ended, I came to realize that a double play was in effect. The target girl was, in fact, separating the group out so that I would end up in bed with the girl I was dancing with. My friend was not the target of the target girl's advances, but rather a pawn in this play that I thought I had orchestrated. I was the target of counter-wingman action, and I was about to pay the price.
I quickly got out of the club, claiming sickness. My buddy rushed outside with me, and it was there that I communicated my worries. He wouldn't have any of it, and in the midst of arguing the target girl and her friends walked up. Needless to say, the argument was cut short and my friend had won. Bro Code dictated that I stick it out until I was relieved of my Wingman Duties.
We went back to Gibson, and the group separated inside. The target girl and my friend went up to her room, as was expected on my end. No counter-wingman action would be complete without this touch. The two girls went their respective room, and I was alone with the girl I was dancing with. I bugged out of there, using the tried and true "My friend just got really wasted and puked all over my bed/half of the room. I need to go see what I can salvage" excuse.
And now I have one girl, the girl I was dancing with, after my wang like it was a bubblegum flavored lollipop and she was Violet Beauregard. To top it all off, my friend couldn't seal the date for later this week. Despite my every attempt, I was foiled by the cunning actions of a counter-Wingman maneuver, and couldn't cover my bases. Hoepfully Cosmic Dude doesn't hate me so.
This thread is for a few things.
1) Critique my Wingman plan, and console me on how it wasn't all my fault that my friend didn't get the date.
2) Discuss your own Wingman activities and adventures
3) Discuss the awesome that is the Cosmic Dude. If you do not know of the Cosmic Dude, then I shall post a description of the Cosmic Dude for all to read and be enlightened
4) Discuss Man Law or the Bro Code. We only accept the International Law of Man, or the one without the blasphemous Law "Thou shalt not be gay." There are plenty of manly gay men, and this thread will not be subject to the tomfoolery of the other Man Law.
