What stresses you out?

[LSN80]

We talked a few weeks ago about coping skills and how we put them into effect upon stressful situations. What we didn't discuss, and I'd like to here, is those things in life that cause the stress that forces one to use those coping skills. Sadly, studies have shown that there is an approximate 3:1 ratio in terms of things that stress you out as compared to coping skills available to the average person. And for those with underdeveloped coping skills, stressful situations tend to lead to exaggerated responses that lead to more stress. But from what I read from your posts, many of you have some well-defined go-to coping skills, and good backup ones as well. So what I'd like to do is look at the other side of the equation from the last thread, and look at what causes you the most stress in life. Feel free also to either state or re-state the coping skill that helps ease the stress as well.

For me, it's the first week of every month. In order to save money of having a secretary do the billing for my agency, I do it myself. However, it's due at the end of the first week of every month, but I can't even start until the final working day of the past month, finishing my reports as well as allowing my staff to finish theirs as well. But work doesn't stop for me that week so I can do paperwork, I have to keep my full client load as I can't abandon their needs just to do the billing. What it leads to is 60-70 hours of work that week, which is incredibly stressful in the mental health field. I barely see my wife during that week as well, which doesn't please her, making it all the more stressful.

In this specific situation, I blank out that entire weekend following. I pull myself off of call for clients in crisis, and I have my staff alternate. I avoid anything and everything to do with work, and I don't see my friends or family during that time either. I make sure that one weekend each month(not that I don't try other times!) is special and just between myself and my wife. If not for that weekend, and knowing it's looming, I don't know that I would handle the stress very well. Now, I want to hear from you:

What is the one thing/situation that's unavoidable that causes you the most stress?

What's the situation specific way you cope with the stress?

All other thoughts and discussion on this topic are more then welcome, and encouraged.

 

[Mustang Sally]

What is the one thing/situation that's unavoidable that causes you the most stress?

The newspaper business consists of deadlines.......consistent, eternal deadlines. I'm in editing and production and the hardest aspect of it all...... and what causes constant stress..... is getting other people to meet their deadlines. The managing editor doesn't want to hear from me or the other production people that some reporter hasn't cranked in his assignment on time. Yes, it will ultimately fall on the reporter if he doesn't get it done, but in the immediate, it's my butt that gets chewed out by the managing editor. Sometimes, the reporter doesn't get it done at all and it falls to people like me to find something else to put in the damn paper. It isn't good work for folks with frazzled nerves.

So, how do I cope with it? By getting in the faces of the folks who have to get their assignments in. Since I can't hear, telephones are useless to me, and I have to get up close and personal with these good folks. They have to look at my face and listen to my toneless voice......and they don't like it, especially since yelling back at me yields little satisfaction for them. They can avoid it by getting their work done in time, which keeps from having to deal with me.

But does all this cause stress?.....Hell yeah, it does!...... and I relieve it by working every day to transfer the stress onto those who have given it to me.

It's just a tough old world, isn't it?

 

[Dagger Dias]

Something that causes an extreme amount of stress for me is disorder because I like for things to be organized and have some form of structure. Especially my home. Coming home to an unmade bed, a den full of junk, a sink full of dishes (although I loathe doing the dishes....), a trash can overflowing with garbage, and a laundry bin with too many clothes in it after a long day at work is one of the worst feelings in the world for me. A man's home is his castle. It should be a stress free environment. I try to make the bed and clear out any junk every day for that reason.

It holds true at work too. I try to keep my desk in the MCA office clean and organized while others' are full of clutter. The girl who had my job before me never kept the desk clean. Old signs for sales several months ago and all sorts of papers were still there on her last day before I took over. I made her clean it before she left. I am in there on a daily basis sorting new signs so that on the next sale I have them all ready to go. I didn't have time to sort for Black Friday and was freaking out trying to get a monstrous unorganized stack of signs hung up correctly in time.

The specific way I cope with this source of stress is to demand order amongst the chaos as best I can. At work I sort signs into organized stacks and keep the desk clear of clutter. At home I do my share of the chores so the wifey and I have a nicer looking place to come home to relax at.

 

[Harthan]

School is a major one. I'm good at it, don't get me wrong. I maintained a 4.0 in highschool and I pulled the same in my first semester at college. But it freaks me out constantly. I think it's mostly due to my procrastination. I put things off for too long and then fine myself cramming all night or writing a 10 page essay in 6 hours, or what have you. On the one hand, I hate doing this. On the other hand, it seems to work out. I also find that I need stress to get anything productive done. If I have a week to write something, I will legitimately try to work on it the first night. But it will be literally impossible to motivate myself to do it. Well, that's an overstatement, not literally impossible. I could motivate myself, maybe. I don't know. I'm going to try to do better next semester, but I'm probably kidding myself.

Unfamiliar social situations are another. I freak out in a scenario where I don't know anyone. I resolve this by drinking or smoking. I know, I have really great coping habits. But whatever. I loosen up when I'm tipsy or high, so hey, it works.

 

[Notorious718]

At the moment, getting the classes I need and paying for college stresses me out the most. I don't know about most other campuses but my university has its sophomores get last picks for classes when it comes time for class registration. This is an even bigger pain in the ass now than in past years due to budget cuts and classes being dropped. Paying for classes is also stressful especially now that I've been laid off and am still finding work. And because I'm paying for classes, that gives me even more incentive to do well in my classes (moreso than in high school for sure). In regards to schoolwork, I think I put a lot of that stress on myself. I'm with Harthan; I procrastinate A LOT. Hell, I did it just a couple weeks ago prior to winter break. Had three ten page essays that were assigned about a month beforehand and didn't start until the week before they were due. They all worked out in the end though but I feel that I stress myself out by forcing myself to work with a deadline just around the corner as opposed to ahead of time. I don't really have a way with coping with this stress, I usually just take in stride. Then once it's all said and done, I can finally unwind like I'm doing right now.

 

[LilacFray]

School
The amount of work just keeps increasing and to top it off, I reach home at 4:00 PM whereas other students reach home at around 2:30 - 3:00 PM. I'm quite the Procrastinator but this year, I finally came to a conclusion that I can't keep it up. But the thing is now I spend less time with my family and I don't like it.. I have to wake up at 5:00 AM to get ready for school, which means I go to sleep early. Living far away from school sucks. Besides, I don't get to take part in extra school activities either. The reason I live far away is that it's closer to my Dad's Workplace. All in all I find more meaning in the weekend than any of my friends. xD

Crazy Home
No. Crazy Homes are awesome but when I come home after a stressful day, with all the work that's got to be done in my mind, I see this crazy place with all kinds of things everywhere. All because of my two little sisters. So my stress goes to a whole new level and I end up crying because I'm angry. >.< I often just start clearing up my room when I get home because it looks like a living hell.

 

[George Steele's Barber]

Confrontation with people I care about, respect or unfortunately fear. I have no problem speaking my mind when there is nothing on the line but I don't want to hurt anyone that I care about or respect and I don't want to get hurt by someone that could do me or my family harm.

Fortunately for me when I don't share my thoughts I end up either having a very short memory or can just let it go or just bottle things up.

I used to have a job that stressed me out as well but I have moved on to a job with a very bright motivated collegial group of peers.

 

[Bernkastel]

Right now school is casuing a lot of stress for me. I'm double majoring in Architecture and Construction Managament, and it's taking me what seems like forever to get out. On top of that, my management at my current apartment complex has really turned to shit. I've been trying for weeks to get out of my lease, but the only way to do so without paying it in full is to sign it over to someone. Everyone i've talked to so far either cannot do it right now, or they have a major felony against them with prohibits them from living there.

I endure loads of stress from those two things alone.

 

[Paralyzer Z]

Parties or Social gatherings

I am really pessimistic when it comes to these things, especially parties. When I don't know anyone I keep my mouth shut and wait for the "Who is this kid" question. Most of my friends moved up the social pyramid when I got to middle school (by taking interest in trouble-making and Girlfriends) while I have been told that I moved down in it (by taking an interest in academics and trivia). Naturally our parents think we are still tight and I usually end up having to go to parties where everyone sees me as a geek because "I'm not popular". My parents still make me go to these things even as I am in high school and the experiences are usually un-enjoyable. I expect the worst going into it and it consumes my focus thus ruining the rest of the day. How do I cope with it? I sit through it and mask any emotions while at parties. I recently learned in health class about the different defense mechanisms for distress and ways to induce eustress on them but I can't remember any of them at the moment. Only on rare occasions do I have to deal with this but I enjoy life when I don't have parties slapped onto my agenda.

 

[Trill Co$by]

LSN80 stresses me out with all of his brain cramping topics that make me think!


But no seriously, I would have to say that as much as I love him to death and wish that I could spend more time with him, my four year old son is the biggest cause for most of my stress. Sure with college and work throughout the week, and all the bills, you could say that those are stressful too... but after a while, you learn that those things can be put into a filing cabinet and taken care of easily. When it comes to kids, they are a nightmare. Especially if you have my son. Again, he's my world and I love him with everything there is to love with... but the way that he's always wanting something and not having a way to figure out what it is can become a headache.

It's funny because growing up, my mother always had a saying that went something like "Throughout centuries they've created books on how to cook, clean, build, pamper, love, and hate... but never in all these years has a book been able to universally tell you how to be a parent, and that's why it's a stressful job."

But yeah, aside from my son the rest of the stressful things aren't really stressful as much as they are annoying. I don't like payday anymore because with College, Work, Bills, and all that stuff it's like whenever it does come around, 9/10 of my check is gone before I even realize what happened. Even still, being a parent is the most stressful responsibility anybody can take up.


Edit: And yes, for those counting, my son was born when I was still in high school. I'm proud to be a father and wouldn't trade that feeling in for the world.

 

[Suibon]

I'm currently taking up Architecture while at the same time managing a fledging pizzeria of my own partly to pay for tuition. You can only imagine the amount of stress my body goes through every school day - especially at payday and when I have to pay the rent and taxes and shit. I thank God I can stomach hours of paperwork.

(Though it seems there are people in far more stressful situations than mine. Well, misery loves company, as they say.)
​

 

[JWGunslinger]

Family Drama
No matter how hard you try it is always there, you can take steps to lower the amount of stress it brings to you and how often it comes up but it will always be there and my family can be a major pain. My mother never gets rid of anything and it makes the house(mainly garage) look horrible, and it stresses her out but she never takes the steps to fix it and it drives everyone else crazy.
Dad can be a hardass and a prick sometimes, everyone can but nobody wants to be around him when he is. On top of that he is on a diet and that has him even more ornery.
My little brother has a voice like Alvin from The Chimpunks, so you can see how that would get old. But he takes things very literally, and he will describe anything and everything with extreme detail even when you tell him to stop. I'll put it this way, he can make Wrestling annoying.....that takes alot for me.
Last but not least my little sister is normally a little ball of sunshine but but she's becoming a bit of a diva, annoyying but not too bad.

Work
This one is the most pressing and stressful for me and has been running my life for some time now. Between having to move home for now because rent was too high in LA and getting hurt at work and trying to pursue a career in MMA and get out on my own again is extremely stressful, especially since I'm having to deal with work insurance stuff since I'm getting covered by my work's insurance. As soon as I'm out of that and back on my own I will be a much happier and stress free guy, but all I can do is wait right now.

As for coping I just try to look at every situation with a positive attitude, that is really the best thing that I can do and it helps alot. Just looking at how important little things are and whether they're really worth getting upset over. I've seen what a positive outlook can do for other people so that is my main weapon of choice against stress.

 

[Miko]

Nothing. Is that a good answer? I really dont give a shit, seriously, if its out of my control I dont worry about it, if its in my control I get it done, if I fail, I fail, fuck it. I dont care. There are other people in my life with far bigger concerns than mine, perspective. You know?

 

[Captain Morgan Freeman]

If there's one thing that stresses me out it's owing people money. I have no problem lending people money if i trust they will pay me back. However i hate having to borrow money of somebody no matter how small an amount it may be, i guess im just too proud sometimes. Even when i was 12 and my Dad used to give me money if i was going somewhere i would feel guilty taking it of him, like i had no right to be wasting money that was his. So owing money to people is what stresses me out and at the moment i owe a lot of money to my parents in college fees.
I started college last year but hated the course i was doing so i changed to a business course that im enjoying a lot more. However because i changed course my grant was suspended for the year meaning my parents had to pay over 5000 euro in college fees. Not a day goes by i don't feel guilty for putting that burden on my parents and that burden won't be lifted until i pay back every cent. They aren't poor by any means but that fact that i owe that much money at my age really can get overwhelming sometimes.

What's the situation specific way you cope with the stress?
When it comes to coping with the stress of owing my parents money i try to keep myself busy most of the time which is why i don't post here as often as id like to. If im chilling with friends, doing college work or watching a movie it tends to take my mind off it. Listening to music and letting my mind drift often helps too.

 

[CleverName51]

1) What is the one thing/situation that's unavoidable that causes you the most stress?

Work, easily work, I work in medical research, specifically neuroscience and on a day to day basis I see people who are in really bad shape from car accidents, sports injuries, brain destroying diseases like Parkinson's, etc...

Even though I have coping training, I'm just out of school (got my degree back in June of 2011) so I still haven't fully adjusted yet...there are days when I pretty much feel so horrible at the end of them, that I end up locking myself in my room when I get home and basically lurking these boards (and watching wrestling clips on YouTube) to escape my job.


What's the situation specific way you cope with the stress?

I mentioned part of it above, lurking/posting on this forum. I also play a lot of video games, World of Warcraft mostly. Basically I like to do things that I allow me to enter a world devoid of reality...I love wrestling because I can suspend my disbelief. Hence, I end up being a straight 23 yr old male who likes John Cena's current superhero character.