klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Friday
Gail Kim is officially gone from WWE.
Impact got a 1.1.
Smackdown
Date: September 30, 2011
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
It's the go home show for Nigh....oh I'm sorry I seem to have gotten the wrong review. It seems like only a little while ago that it was a go home show and it can't be another one so soon. Only a bunch of idiots would have two PPVs for 45 bucks with one off week in between them. I mean you would have to be crazy to think that would be a good idea. Since there's no way this can be another go home show so soon, I'm curious as to what happens. Let's get to it.
Do you know your enemy? Mine is the Cleveland Indians who can't win one game to finish .500.
Rhodes vs. Sheamus for the title and Christian vs. Orton 10 later.
Here's Booker to open the show and he's going to interview Henry. Booker says he was a fan of Henry since the beginning and that since he's a 6 time champion, he knows what it takes to get there so congratulations. Henry wants to know if that means Booker thinks he's six times better than he is. Henry yells a lot and says he could put Booker through that announce table but he's here for Orton, not Booker.
Night of Champions was about the World Heavyweight Championship. He talks about how at home he has the heads of Lawler, Kane and Big Show mounted on his wall (I guess being future endeavored erases your head from existence) and there's a special place on the wall for Orton. Booker wants to know why it's all about the violence and pain. Henry says lower your tone and that for fifteen years he did the good things and took pictures and kissed babies. Now he wants to be dominate.
Booker asks about Sunday (wow they really are that stupid) and if Randy can hit the RKO...but Henry cuts him off saying that won't happen because it can't happen. Orton can't beat him and everyone knows it. Henry is going to beat down Khali tonight like he did on Monday so bring him out right now so we can do it. Henry won't shake Booker's hand to end this.
Mark Henry vs. Great Khali
Khali pounds away and Henry is staggered. It's a heavyweight slugfest and Henry is in trouble. Two chops put Henry down for two and here comes Henry's comeback. He pounds away and puts Khali down where two splashes only get a two count. I'd have thought that was it. There's the Slam and we're done at 2:51. This was a lot more fun than I was expecting but battles of the giants are an old standard and they almost always are worth at least a glance.
Post match Henry Pillmanizes Khali's leg.
Khali is being taken out on a stretcher and Mahal comes up to yell at him.
Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger
Bourne gets the big hometown boy pop. Swagger comes out to Ziggler's music to annoy me. I'm really liking these guys being on both shows as it lets you keep these stories going. Swagger takes over early as is his custom. Bourne fires off some kicks but Swagger catches a headscissors into a side slam.
Vader Bomb misses and Bourne fires off some offense, including that double knee to the neck thing he does. Ziggler interferes but the powerbomb is countered. Bourne sets for the Shooting Star but Vickie breaks it up and the ankle lock ends this at 2:32. Another fast paced match that sets up the probable tag title match at the PPV.
We get a video on the Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara feud and the match at the PPV is announced.
Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater
Slater has a boring southern rock song as his theme music now. At least it's supposed to be southern rock. It sounds like bad country. It took me longer to say that than the whole match which ends in 42 seconds with a Swanton Bomb.
The other Sin Cara pops up on screen and takes off his mask to reveal a new black one. He says the other Sin Cara stole his identity as Mistico so now it's time for him to do the same thing. Cool to hear an actual reason for what's going on.
Video on HHH and how things are going crazy in the company at the moment. He's not here tonight.
The group that wants to sue HHH is in the back and there are a lot of them: Team Vickie, Johnny Ace, Rhodes, Christian and Otunga as the lawyer. Otunga has an idea put together that could work. Christian says he's cool with Otunga doing this. It goes down Monday.
Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya
Well at least Kelly is in the white shorts. No entrance for Nattie. Beth sits in on commentary. Kelly goes off on her to start and hits a Thesz Press off the ropes but Nattie pounds away and hooks a chinlock. A victory roll gets the pin at 1:25. Can we get a match that breaks three minutes?
Post match Beth hits the Glam Slam and Natalya puts her in that freaky submission she used on Monday. Beth talks trash and Kelly screams a lot.
Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Sheamus
This is happening because Christian cost Sheamus the battle royal Monday. Cody says he's being discriminated against by the WWE, referencing being put in a battle royal after having his head injured by the bell. They slug it out to start and guess who gets the better of that. Sheamus tries his forearms in the ropes but Cody escapes. Sheamus is like ok then and beats Cody down a bit and then hits them the second time.
Cody gets in a mask shot and the Beautiful Disaster for two as we take a break. Back after a video about the Cell and Cody has a hammerlock on. Sheamus fires back but a single arm DDT gets two for the champ. This is a pretty boring match. Sheamus gets sent into the post for two.
Cody keeps working on the arm which is kind of stupid since one of Sheamus' big moves and the easier of his big moves to hit is a kick. Now Cody goes into the post and Sheamus makes his comeback with power moves and the the shoulder block. Brogue Kick misses but he breaks up the Beautiful Disaster for a close two. He sets for the Celtic Cross but here's Christian for the DQ at 8:37 shown of 12:07.
Video on HHH's movie. No one cares.
Zack Ryder vs. JTG
I know I've been liking NXT more but I don't want to see JTG anywhere else! Cole makes fun of JTG who wants to take over the WWE. Ryder is in the Fave Five which is currently at about 28 members. JTG takes over to start and makes fun of Ryder at the same time. Off to a chinlock and Booker has four nicknames for JTG already (and Cole makes fun of them all). Ryder starts his comeback and the Broski Boot gets two. Rough Ryder ends this at 2:56. Just a way to get Ryder on TV as his push continues.
Johnny Ace is texting someone when HHH comes up. HHH wants to know what's up with the meetings Ace has been having. Ace says he's behind him but HHH says it's about trust. Future endeavors are implied.
The same video that we've seen a million times on the Cell airs and we run down the card.
Orton says he's crazy and evil and isn't afraid of Henry. He doesn't regret hurting Orton last week.
Randy Orton vs. Christian
Feeling out process to start which is odd since they've spent more time with each other this summer than is healthy. A clothesline gets two for Orton but Christian hits a middle rope dropkick to take over. Spinebuster gets two and we take a break. Back with Christian having a neck crank broken so he hits a neckbreaker for two instead. Oh this is Orton's hometown too. I forgot about that.
Orton comes back for a few seconds but Christian smacks him down (nice touch) again and keeps the advantage. Orton comes back with his usual stuff including that awesome dropkick. WWE developmental can teach a pretty awesome one of those. Orton hits that powerbomb into a neckbreaker which is a favorite of mine and it gets two. In a nice bit of psychology, Christian escapes the DDT and goes to the corner for the sunset flip out of it. Orton jumps for the RKO but Christian fakes him out. Orton counters Christian's fake out though and gets a fast rollup for two. NICE.
Orton hits his powerslam but Christian misses a cross body. RKO is countered and Christian sets up for the spear. I'm so over the spear that I cant fathom it anymore. It hits this time but it only gets two because Christian is an average sized guy hitting a power move so it doesn't work as well. Killswitch is countered into the elevated DDT and Orton is all fired up. Christian hits the floor and runs but Orton catches him. He sends the Canadian into the steps and stalks him long enough for the double countout at 10:56 shown of 14:26.
Orton goes after Christian post match and loads up the announce table. Cody comes out to beat down Orton but Sheamus makes the save and chases Christian through the crowd. Here's Henry and the Slam puts Orton down in just a few seconds. Henry goes to get a chair to Pillmanize him but Orton grabs an RKO out of nowhere to put Henry down and stand tall to end the show. They needed to do that before the PPV.
Results
Mark Henry b. Great Khali World's Strongest Slam
Jack Swagger b. Evan Bourne Ankle Lock
Sin Cara b. Heath Slater Swanton Bomb
Kelly Kelly b. Natalya Victory Roll
Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes via DQ when Christian interfered
Zack Ryder b. JTG Rough Ryder
Randy Orton vs. Christian went to a double countout
Saturday
Ring of Honor
Date: October 1, 2011
Location: Frontier Fieldhouse, Chicago Ridge, Illinois
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness
It's week two after the disaster that was their debut episode. Tonight it's the TV Title on the line as El Generico defends against Jay Lethal who apparently wasn't a fan of being Macho Lethal, even though it's the only time anyone actually cared about him. Let's see if they can break that streak of 30 minutes with no wrestling this time. Let's get to it.
After a quick recap of last week, here's the intro video.
It only took them a week to tell us that Nigel is a former world champion.
We open the show with an interview. Yeah because nothing says wrestling like TALKING. It's Haas/Benjamin to talk about how they're the best team in the company but especially want the Briscoes, a legendary ROH tag team. They're the team that beat down the champions after the four team elimination match, a beatdown we now see for the third time in two weeks. Haas and Benjamin have no problem putting the titles on the line RIGHT NOW. Cornette says he doesn't want to reward the Briscoes for what they did. Haas and Benjamin say they'll fight them one way or another.
Here's a video on The Prodigy Mike Bennett. Cornette talks about how great he is but Bennett is a joke. He looks a bit like Mike Sanders from WCW. Bennett wants to be a movie star and has a trainer named Bob Evans who looks like a young Mickey from Rocky. Yeah he's just a cocky heel that apparently has talent.
Mike Bennett vs. Jimmy Jacobs
Jacobs' manager is Steve Corino and they're trying to repent for past sins in ROH. Here's the opening bell for the first match, 18 minutes into the show. And now we have an opening focused on the idea that Jacobs won't hit him. Bennett takes over with really basic stuff and we have a Tweet of the Week which says You should watch ROH because I'm Batman and Batman says so. Seriously? I mean seriously?
Jacobs sends him to the floor and misses a dive to shift the little momentum he had going. Bennett pounds away with some of the most generic offense I've ever seen. Jacobs no sells a kick to the face and takes over with a clothesline and a neckbreaker. He sets for a tornado DDT but instead lands on his feet and hits a top suplex for two. Bennett grabs a spinebuster for two. Sliced Bread gets two for Jacobs. A senton backsplash eats knees and a sitout Rock Bottom called the Box Office Smash ends this at 5:56.
A fan thinks El Generico will win tonight.
Eddie Edwards talks about how he got the name Die Hard. He hurt his elbow and fought the next day so it was a huge deal.
Richards talks about facing Roderick Strong next week. I like Roderick but can't stand Richards so maybe it'll be better. Richards sums the match up well: We're fighting because we don't like each other and we never have. I can live with that.
Roderick says he'll beat Richards.
TV Title: Jay Lethal vs. El Generico
Well they have a lot of time for this one at least with over 20 minutes to go. And never mind as Kelly tells us there's a 15 minute time limit. McGuinness wants to know why he's more tanned than Generico who is from Mexico. Generico speeds things up to take over early. Lethal is like I can do moves that are flashy but don't really hurt that much either! Backbreaker gets two for Lethal but Lethal hooks on some weird surfboard variation with a Texas Cloverleaf leg grip.
Dropkick gets two for Lethal. Generico speeds things up with arm drags and hits a huge swan dive over the top to take Lethal out as we go to a break. Back with Lethal in control after Generico hit a moonsault off the guardrail. Ok scratch that as Generico gets two off something we missed while watching a replay. Lethal gets a sunset flip for two. This isn't much of a match but indy fans would love it.
They slug it out and Lethal is sent to the top for a missile dropkick. With three minutes remaining in a 15 minute time limit we're heading for a time limit draw (at the 12 minute mark that is). Lethal Injection gets two. Generico walks the corner and hits most of a tornado DDT for two. There's a minute left. Blue Thunder Bomb (go play No Mercy for a description) gets two and we have thirty seconds left. Time expires at 12:40 which is including the commercial time.
At 2:54 Jim Cornette comes out and says we have three minutes left in the show so put three minutes on the clock and get to it.
They slug it out like crazy after being all respectful. Generico hits the Yakuza kick and a half nelson suplex for two. Generico loads up the Brainbuster but Lethal escapes and goes up for a top rope elbow but Generico moves and the Brainbuster is blocked again. There's the elbow for two. A snap suplex sets up a second Yakuza kick but Lethal counters with a superkick and the Lethal Combination (called the Injection here) for the pin and the title at 2:24 of overtime. The overtime was better than the regular match.
And again we go off the air at 2:58. What's up with that?
Results
Mike Bennett b. Jimmy Jacobs Box Office Smash
Jay Lethal b. El Generico Lethal Injection
Sunday
Hell in a Cell 2011
Date: October 2, 2011
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Booker T
Well it's only two weeks after the last PPV and it's three weeks away from the next one so the build for this much be well developed right? Anyway the mains are a triple threat for Red and a rematch for Blue and as usual with the main events lately, Blue > Red. I'm really not wild on this show but the Cell should help things a little. Anyway let's get to it.
The opening video is your usual oh no the Cell is horrible even though it's the PG Era and the lack of brutality cripples this thing.
Miz and Truth are in the front row and are ejected by Johnny Ace. That was quick.
Christian vs. Sheamus
Sheamus uses his power stuff to start us off and Christian uses his size and speed to escape. I love power vs. speed matches. Christian tries to speed things up and slaps Sheamus on the floor. Yes, slap the big monster that already wants to hurt you. Back in the forearms to the chest start up. I'd say that needs a name but that could be stupider than having two PPVs in two weeks.
Christian tries going up and that fails also, resulting in a powerslam/spinebuster. The top rope shoulder block is broken up and Sheamus is knocked to the floor to finally give Captain Charisma (if that name still applies) the advantage. Back in and a jumping back elbow (still love that move) gets two. We head to a sleeper hold because someone thinks it's the 1980s and that move still means anything.
After it gets broken up, the Canadian just hammers away and actually beats Sheamus down. Score one for Canada I guess. Missile dropkick gets two. Sheamus is like screw this in an Irish accent and pounds Christian down. When all else fails, hit the other guy a lot. That should work almost every time. All Sheamus now as he hits some clotheslines but has a gorilla press countered into a Killswitch attempt which fails as usual.
Irish Curse (probably not called that anymore because 3 people in some tiny town in Ireland complained so WWE paid them some obscene sum so that they wouldn't complain to Linda's Senate campaign) gets two but Christian gets out of the Celtic Cross again. Christian heads up and that fails as well. He's just not having a good night. He manages to knock Sheamus back for a bit and we get close to even.
Tornado DDT puts Sheamus down but the Killswitch is countered. So is the flying shoulder there but Sheamus pulls himself from sitting down in the corner to the top rope using the rope for a backflip in an awesome move and there's the shoulder. Out to the floor and Christian drills him with a spear to put big Irish down. He gets back in at 8 and walks into another spear for a close two. I thought that might have been it. Christian tries for the Killswitch but it gets countered both times and after the Canadian's shoulder goes into the post, the Brogue Kick puts him down for the pin at.
Henry cuts off Striker and makes fun of his voice and the usual interviews they have, saying Orton is joining the Hall of Pain no matter what.
Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara
This could be horrible. For the sake of sanity I'll call them Black and Blue with Blue being the botchtastic original and Black being the replacement. They feel each other out and Blue frustrates Black a bit. Blue sends him to the floor and hits a big old flip dive. He looks a bit better than he did before he left so maybe the time for practice helped him. Black takes over and we head back into the ring.
And let's hit the chinlock. I mean let's hit it for awhile. Yes because in a match over who the real crazy high flier is, the right thing to do is go to a rest hold. I guess Black is supposed to be the evil one but it's pretty stupid. The fans chant boring and I can't say I disagree. Blue takes offense to it I guess and sends him to the floor for a big dive and back in for some kicks and a rana for two.
Black counters into a layout powerbomb for a close two. Booker talks about hitting someone in the mask area. Cole: You mean the head? Cole can be annoying but when he's on with his jokes, he's very on. As Cole makes fun of the Spanish of both guys, Blue hits a top rope armdrag for two but a swanton misses. Not that it matters as a sunset bomb hits a few seconds later for the pin at 9:40. Blue won if that wasn't clearn.
Otunga comes up to Punk in the back and lawyer jokes abound. Punk doesn't want to talk to him and Punk makes fun of him some more and says he doesn't need a lawyer even when he wins the title tonight. Otunga even has a sweater and bowtie tonight. Punk tells him to vanish.
Tag Titles: Air Boom vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger
Cole: And yes folks that name is your fault! Ziggler vs. Kofi to start us off. See, this is old school booking: these were four guys in two singles feuds and they didn't really have anything else to do after that so they were combined into one feud and made into tag teams which gives them new matches down the road while still being able to feud with the same people in a different feud. See it's not that hard.
Ziggler gets beaten down for awhile but gets a boot up in the corner to take down Bourne and bring in Swagger. Everyone but Ziggler is in blue. We get into the standard Air Boom formula: hot start, then they get into trouble and by that I mean Bourne gets beaten down for awhile. Cole talks about how Vickie is going to get Swagger matches and spots he wants which is what you do as a manager. You have someone like Vickie who is a heat magnet and you have two guys like Swagger and Ziggler with talent but limited charisma. It's a perfect match as they can do in the ring and she supplements it with the talking. Everyone wins.
Kofi comes in and Swagger pulls the rope down to send him to the floor so Ziggy can take over. Cole goes on a long rant about HHH and how horrible he is and Booker is like man I was in WCW so don't try to tell me about politics. Not in so many words but it's almost kind of maybe in a way implied. We mix up the formula a bit here so that Kofi is the one getting beaten down.
After Ziggler gets his beating in it's the ankle lock by Swagger. Kofi escapes and hits a DDT to put both guys down. There's the hot tag to Bourne and everything breaks down. Ziggler bails so Kofi takes Swagger down and breaks up the ankle lock with a top rope cross body. Bourne hits a standing moonsault to Dolph for two. The challengers set for some assisted powerbomb off the top but Bourne counters into a rana off the top to pin Swagger at 11:13.
HHH trailer.
We recap Henry vs. Orton and I think you know the story here by now. Henry is a monster, beat up everyone then beat Orton for the title two weeks ago and that warrants the biggest gimmick match in the company. Clear connection right?
Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry
Vengeance is pushed and it's in three weeks. Are you serious? They head to the floor quickly and Orton sends him into the cage and beats him down. Orton tries the elevated DDT but it's too early for that so Henry fights it off and Orton's shoulder goes into the post and gets pulled on. Orton gets sent into the cage but fights back in the ring. Henry is like FRIED CHICKEN AND BISCUITS and hits a powerslam for two. Henry goes for the steps and slams them into Orton (or was it the other way around?) to keep up the dominance.
Henry uses more step stuff and sends him into the cage then yells about pizza and twinkies before we go back inside. Orton tries to hammer away but Henry is just too fat. He picks Orton up into the World's Strongest Slam position but hits a backbreaker instead. Then he does it again. I guess he wanted to go back for seconds. Off to a bearhug so Henry can think of peach cobbler and Skittles.
JR drops some alliteration on us as Henry keeps dominating. At Mania 13 Shawn was on commentary and said of Sid that he didn't stray from the power game because it took him everywhere he needed to go. That's Henry in a nutshell: why change things if they work? More bearhuggery as my money is on prime rib wishes and burrito dreams for the champion.
Orton tries to hammer away but Henry is like THE POWER OF PUMPKIN PIE COMPELS YOU and sends him to the floor again. He sets to plant Orton like a patch of carrots into the steps with the Slam but Orton grabs onto the cage and climbs up a bit so he can DDT Henry onto the steps. Momentum shifts now and Henry is in trouble. Thesz Press and punches set up a dropkick to put Henry on the apron.
The elevated DDT actually works and the RKO does as well but Henry kicks out at two. Orton is shocked and isn't sure what to do now. That's a great plot device as Randy only had one big weapon to use but it only got two. Cole says Orton can't beat him. Booker says hit it again. I never got why after a finisher can't get a pin that everyone thinks they can't get the pin. I mean...you can do it again. Orton loads up the Punt but Henry grabs him into the World's Strongest Slam and gets the pin at 16:00. Sweet.
Post match Henry goes to leave but goes back in for dessert. He hits another Slam on Orton and sets up for Pillmanization. Orton moves (smart guy) and gets the chair. He pounds Henry down and they go up the aisle. Orton keeps pounding away and goes for a big chair shot but Henry gets a kick to the ribs and Henry runs. So yeah, there's going to be a third one, probably in another gimmick match because the Cell is just a stop in the road on a feud anymore.
Alberto says he can win in the Cell and he'll be like an animal trapped in a cage. You'll see a new side of him tonight.
Here's Rhodes and he has a surprise. He unveils a new IC Title which looks like the old style and has the white strap instead of the black. I think I'm digging this. Cody says he'll defend the title anywhere anytime. Here's Johnny Ace to complain though and he says HHH says the title is on the line tonight and it's right now.
Intercontinental Title: John Morrison vs. Cody Rhodes
They needed a filler match so this is a good thing. Yeah I'm digging the white belt. Cody is in street clothes and is rolled up for two very quickly. Cole stands up for Cody (instead of WWE) and Cody can't do anything because of his attire. Morrison takes over and sends Cody to the floor. Rhodes gets his shirt off and Morrison throws it into the crowd. Cody keeps heading to the floor and looks like he wants to leave.
Morrison is like *insert stupid expression here* and heads to the floor. Back in and Rhodes takes over for a bit. Well of course he can. I mean, Morrison is just a former champion and a world class athlete so of course a non warmed up guy can take over on him while in street clothes. Ok so he used the mask but you get the idea. Off to a seated abdominal stretch. Yeah because the weak spot on Morrison is his abs right?
Alabama Slam is countered but Rhodes grabs a Figure Four of all things. Ok so now he's working on the knee. I guess it's better than the ribs/abs. Now he's focusing on the face. And I used to say he had psychology. Here's Morrison's comeback and a kick sets up Starship Pain but Rhodes breaks it up. Belly to back is countered but Morrison hits a Pele (called that) and sets for whatever he calls the Beautiful Disaster but Rhodes ducks and a rollup lets him retain at 7:23.
Ace comes up to HHH on the phone and cuts HHH off from yelling at him. Awesome Truth is in the back. HHH runs to the back and finds them having destroyed Air Boom. Ace gets yelled at as the champions are down.
Divas Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly
Kelly runs at her and hits what are supposed to be Thesz Presses (popular move tonight) and the screaming headscissors which is countered into a backbreaker. Beth takes over and chokes her down with what looks like a dragon sleeper. Off to another backbreaker but this time she bends Kelly over her knee but Kelly counters into a rollup for two. Slingshot suplex gets two for Beth.
Kelly starts her comeback and uses generic offense and a neckbreaker for two. She tries the bad bulldog but Beth counters into a Glam Slam attempt. Beth pounds away in the corner but Kelly fights out and hits the handspring elbow. Cole calls it vintage and Great Muta rolls his eyes somewhere. Top rope bulldog by Kelly gets a very close two. Eve and Nattie get into it on the floor and Eve goes flying into the barricade.
K2 is countered and Beth kicks Kelly between the legs for some reason. Beth hooks up that freaky submission that Natalya has been using lately and Nattie gets on the mic and tells Kelly to scream. Is this WWE's version of porn? Kelly makes the ropes and Natalya pops her with the mic which somehow the referee didn't hear. Glam Slam FINALLY ends Kelly's reign at 8:34. Yes they're that long on time.
Vengeance is coming.
We recap the Raw World Title which is clouded or something because of what happened at MITB and Summerslam. Not really but whatever. Either way it's Cell match time.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk
After big match intros we're ready to go. There's a TON of time for this as it's only about 10 minutes after 10. They emphasize that the fall has to be in the ring. Fair enough. Alberto immediately hits the floor and runs a lot. Both guys chase him and they slide in to get in what they can and the Super Best Friends fight over who gets to beat up Del Rio. Punk tries to steal the title on a rollup but it only gets two.
The big stars face off and both escape the other's finishers. Del Rio tries to take Cena out but gets caught in an AA attempt on the floor. Punk dives onto Del Rio and Cena to break it up for some reason and back in the ring a neckbreaker gets two on Del Rio. The dueling chants begin but after being a CM Punk/Let's Go Cena chant it's turned into Cena Sucks very quickly. See the issue? It's not so much pro Punk but rather anti-Cena.
Del Rio gets back into this and sends Punk into the cage. Cena is down also and Punk is the only one left standing after he takes out Alberto. He loads up a table on the floor but Cena shoves him into the cage to avoid a bulldog. Alberto gets a chair in and hits a belly to back onto the chair with Cena slowing breaking the chair down. That looked good. There are the chants again.
Cena is in the Tree of Woe and Del Rio misses a charge, sending his shoulder into the post. Off to Punk vs. Del Rio and with Punk in trouble, Cena dives off the top with the legdrop and gets two on both guys. This is good so far. AA is escaped by Alberto and he goes for the ribs/back of Cena. Del Rio is sent to the floor and Ricardo fans him off. Cena and Punk slug it out and it's boo/yay time. GTS is broken up by a chair swung by Del Rio.
He picks up the chair and comes off the top with it to land on both of the Super Best Friends, getting two on each. Del Rio charges at Punk in the corner but is dropped over the top and hits the stairs on the way out. You couldn't see it but you could hear it. AA out of nowhere gets two on Punk with Alberto saving. Del Rio is sent to the floor again and this time it's the GTS to Cena for two. Del Rio saves again and sends Punk into the steps. He's been the wild card in this so far and it's working.
Cena is sent into the cage again so it's Punk vs. Del Rio in the ring. Punk fights back and the Macho Elbow gets two. Cena comes back in and sends Punk through the table at ringside. Cena grabs the STF and Ricardo takes down the referee and breaks into the Cell. Ricardo has a pipe with him but Cena takes him down and throws him out of the Cell. Del Rio gets the pipe and bashes Cena with it. He throws Cena out and locks him outside with the key inside. Ok this is interesting.
The Mexican hits a German on the American for two. Punk goes up and Del Rio hits the running enziguri for two. Cross armbreaker is broken up and Punk fires off the kicks. Leg lariat puts Del Rio down and Cena is just now getting up and figures out that he's locked out. Punk hits the bulldog as Cena looks for the key. Springboard clothesline gets two and Cena is trying to break the chain and the lock open. Alberto goes to the floor and grabs the pipe. It's only about 10:30 so there's plenty of time here. Two pipe shots put Punk down and Del Rio wins it at 24:12. I guess there isn't a lot of time left.
Post match the Cell raises up and Cena gets in as do men in black hoodies. It's Miz/Truth with pipes or something and the beating is on. HHH comes out and gets beaten down also as the Cell lowers again. HHH is on the floor, outside of the cage. The locker room comes out but no one has the idea of bolt cutters. Miz and Truth beat up cameramen and referees as some cops come in with cutters and get in. Truth and Miz surrender to the police and are cuffed. HHH beats up the cuffed men and is taken out by security...and we're off the air at 10:37.
Results
Sheamus b. Christian Brogue Kick
Sin Cara b. Sin Cara Sunset Bomb
Air Boom b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler Top rope hurricanrana to Swagger
Mark Henry b. Randy Orton World's Strongest Slam
Cody Rhodes b. John Morrison Rollup
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly Glam Slam
Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena and CM Punk Pin after a pipe shot to Punk
Quick Results
Raw
Cody Rhodes won a battle royal last eliminating Sheamus
Natlya/Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres Glam Slam to Kelly Kelly
John Cena b. Christian via disqualification when Alberto Del Rio interfered
Dolph Ziggler b. Zach Ryder Zig Zag
Air Boom/Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler/Mason Ryan Rough Ryder to Ziggler
CM Punk b. Alberto Del Rio High Kick
NXT
Jinder Mahal b. Yoshi Tatsu Full Nelson Slam
Tyson Kidd b. Percy Watson Springboard Elbow
Usos b. Darren Young/JTG Top rope splash to Young
Impact Wrestling
Brian Kendrick b. Kid Kash, Alex Shelley, Zima Ion and Jesse Sorensen Kendrick pulled down the contract
Madison Rayne b. Tara Rollup
D'Angelo Dinero b. Mr. Anderson Pin after Bully Ray hit Anderson with a kendo stick
Robert Roode b. AJ Styles Crossface
Smackdown
Mark Henry b. Great Khali World's Strongest Slam
Jack Swagger b. Evan Bourne Ankle Lock
Sin Cara b. Heath Slater Swanton Bomb
Kelly Kelly b. Natalya Victory Roll
Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes via DQ when Christian interfered
Zack Ryder b. JTG Rough Ryder
Randy Orton vs. Christian went to a double countout
Ring of Honor
Mike Bennett b. Jimmy Jacobs Box Office Smash
Jay Lethal b. El Generico Lethal Injection
Hell in a Cell 2011
Sheamus b. Christian Brogue Kick
Sin Cara b. Sin Cara Sunset Bomb
Air Boom b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler Top rope hurricanrana to Swagger
Mark Henry b. Randy Orton World's Strongest Slam
Cody Rhodes b. John Morrison Rollup
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly Glam Slam
Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena and CM Punk Pin after a pipe shot to Punk
Gail Kim is officially gone from WWE.
Impact got a 1.1.
Smackdown
Date: September 30, 2011
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
It's the go home show for Nigh....oh I'm sorry I seem to have gotten the wrong review. It seems like only a little while ago that it was a go home show and it can't be another one so soon. Only a bunch of idiots would have two PPVs for 45 bucks with one off week in between them. I mean you would have to be crazy to think that would be a good idea. Since there's no way this can be another go home show so soon, I'm curious as to what happens. Let's get to it.
Do you know your enemy? Mine is the Cleveland Indians who can't win one game to finish .500.
Rhodes vs. Sheamus for the title and Christian vs. Orton 10 later.
Here's Booker to open the show and he's going to interview Henry. Booker says he was a fan of Henry since the beginning and that since he's a 6 time champion, he knows what it takes to get there so congratulations. Henry wants to know if that means Booker thinks he's six times better than he is. Henry yells a lot and says he could put Booker through that announce table but he's here for Orton, not Booker.
Night of Champions was about the World Heavyweight Championship. He talks about how at home he has the heads of Lawler, Kane and Big Show mounted on his wall (I guess being future endeavored erases your head from existence) and there's a special place on the wall for Orton. Booker wants to know why it's all about the violence and pain. Henry says lower your tone and that for fifteen years he did the good things and took pictures and kissed babies. Now he wants to be dominate.
Booker asks about Sunday (wow they really are that stupid) and if Randy can hit the RKO...but Henry cuts him off saying that won't happen because it can't happen. Orton can't beat him and everyone knows it. Henry is going to beat down Khali tonight like he did on Monday so bring him out right now so we can do it. Henry won't shake Booker's hand to end this.
Mark Henry vs. Great Khali
Khali pounds away and Henry is staggered. It's a heavyweight slugfest and Henry is in trouble. Two chops put Henry down for two and here comes Henry's comeback. He pounds away and puts Khali down where two splashes only get a two count. I'd have thought that was it. There's the Slam and we're done at 2:51. This was a lot more fun than I was expecting but battles of the giants are an old standard and they almost always are worth at least a glance.
Post match Henry Pillmanizes Khali's leg.
Khali is being taken out on a stretcher and Mahal comes up to yell at him.
Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger
Bourne gets the big hometown boy pop. Swagger comes out to Ziggler's music to annoy me. I'm really liking these guys being on both shows as it lets you keep these stories going. Swagger takes over early as is his custom. Bourne fires off some kicks but Swagger catches a headscissors into a side slam.
Vader Bomb misses and Bourne fires off some offense, including that double knee to the neck thing he does. Ziggler interferes but the powerbomb is countered. Bourne sets for the Shooting Star but Vickie breaks it up and the ankle lock ends this at 2:32. Another fast paced match that sets up the probable tag title match at the PPV.
We get a video on the Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara feud and the match at the PPV is announced.
Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater
Slater has a boring southern rock song as his theme music now. At least it's supposed to be southern rock. It sounds like bad country. It took me longer to say that than the whole match which ends in 42 seconds with a Swanton Bomb.
The other Sin Cara pops up on screen and takes off his mask to reveal a new black one. He says the other Sin Cara stole his identity as Mistico so now it's time for him to do the same thing. Cool to hear an actual reason for what's going on.
Video on HHH and how things are going crazy in the company at the moment. He's not here tonight.
The group that wants to sue HHH is in the back and there are a lot of them: Team Vickie, Johnny Ace, Rhodes, Christian and Otunga as the lawyer. Otunga has an idea put together that could work. Christian says he's cool with Otunga doing this. It goes down Monday.
Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya
Well at least Kelly is in the white shorts. No entrance for Nattie. Beth sits in on commentary. Kelly goes off on her to start and hits a Thesz Press off the ropes but Nattie pounds away and hooks a chinlock. A victory roll gets the pin at 1:25. Can we get a match that breaks three minutes?
Post match Beth hits the Glam Slam and Natalya puts her in that freaky submission she used on Monday. Beth talks trash and Kelly screams a lot.
Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Sheamus
This is happening because Christian cost Sheamus the battle royal Monday. Cody says he's being discriminated against by the WWE, referencing being put in a battle royal after having his head injured by the bell. They slug it out to start and guess who gets the better of that. Sheamus tries his forearms in the ropes but Cody escapes. Sheamus is like ok then and beats Cody down a bit and then hits them the second time.
Cody gets in a mask shot and the Beautiful Disaster for two as we take a break. Back after a video about the Cell and Cody has a hammerlock on. Sheamus fires back but a single arm DDT gets two for the champ. This is a pretty boring match. Sheamus gets sent into the post for two.
Cody keeps working on the arm which is kind of stupid since one of Sheamus' big moves and the easier of his big moves to hit is a kick. Now Cody goes into the post and Sheamus makes his comeback with power moves and the the shoulder block. Brogue Kick misses but he breaks up the Beautiful Disaster for a close two. He sets for the Celtic Cross but here's Christian for the DQ at 8:37 shown of 12:07.
Video on HHH's movie. No one cares.
Zack Ryder vs. JTG
I know I've been liking NXT more but I don't want to see JTG anywhere else! Cole makes fun of JTG who wants to take over the WWE. Ryder is in the Fave Five which is currently at about 28 members. JTG takes over to start and makes fun of Ryder at the same time. Off to a chinlock and Booker has four nicknames for JTG already (and Cole makes fun of them all). Ryder starts his comeback and the Broski Boot gets two. Rough Ryder ends this at 2:56. Just a way to get Ryder on TV as his push continues.
Johnny Ace is texting someone when HHH comes up. HHH wants to know what's up with the meetings Ace has been having. Ace says he's behind him but HHH says it's about trust. Future endeavors are implied.
The same video that we've seen a million times on the Cell airs and we run down the card.
Orton says he's crazy and evil and isn't afraid of Henry. He doesn't regret hurting Orton last week.
Randy Orton vs. Christian
Feeling out process to start which is odd since they've spent more time with each other this summer than is healthy. A clothesline gets two for Orton but Christian hits a middle rope dropkick to take over. Spinebuster gets two and we take a break. Back with Christian having a neck crank broken so he hits a neckbreaker for two instead. Oh this is Orton's hometown too. I forgot about that.
Orton comes back for a few seconds but Christian smacks him down (nice touch) again and keeps the advantage. Orton comes back with his usual stuff including that awesome dropkick. WWE developmental can teach a pretty awesome one of those. Orton hits that powerbomb into a neckbreaker which is a favorite of mine and it gets two. In a nice bit of psychology, Christian escapes the DDT and goes to the corner for the sunset flip out of it. Orton jumps for the RKO but Christian fakes him out. Orton counters Christian's fake out though and gets a fast rollup for two. NICE.
Orton hits his powerslam but Christian misses a cross body. RKO is countered and Christian sets up for the spear. I'm so over the spear that I cant fathom it anymore. It hits this time but it only gets two because Christian is an average sized guy hitting a power move so it doesn't work as well. Killswitch is countered into the elevated DDT and Orton is all fired up. Christian hits the floor and runs but Orton catches him. He sends the Canadian into the steps and stalks him long enough for the double countout at 10:56 shown of 14:26.
Orton goes after Christian post match and loads up the announce table. Cody comes out to beat down Orton but Sheamus makes the save and chases Christian through the crowd. Here's Henry and the Slam puts Orton down in just a few seconds. Henry goes to get a chair to Pillmanize him but Orton grabs an RKO out of nowhere to put Henry down and stand tall to end the show. They needed to do that before the PPV.
Results
Mark Henry b. Great Khali World's Strongest Slam
Jack Swagger b. Evan Bourne Ankle Lock
Sin Cara b. Heath Slater Swanton Bomb
Kelly Kelly b. Natalya Victory Roll
Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes via DQ when Christian interfered
Zack Ryder b. JTG Rough Ryder
Randy Orton vs. Christian went to a double countout
Saturday
Ring of Honor
Date: October 1, 2011
Location: Frontier Fieldhouse, Chicago Ridge, Illinois
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness
It's week two after the disaster that was their debut episode. Tonight it's the TV Title on the line as El Generico defends against Jay Lethal who apparently wasn't a fan of being Macho Lethal, even though it's the only time anyone actually cared about him. Let's see if they can break that streak of 30 minutes with no wrestling this time. Let's get to it.
After a quick recap of last week, here's the intro video.
It only took them a week to tell us that Nigel is a former world champion.
We open the show with an interview. Yeah because nothing says wrestling like TALKING. It's Haas/Benjamin to talk about how they're the best team in the company but especially want the Briscoes, a legendary ROH tag team. They're the team that beat down the champions after the four team elimination match, a beatdown we now see for the third time in two weeks. Haas and Benjamin have no problem putting the titles on the line RIGHT NOW. Cornette says he doesn't want to reward the Briscoes for what they did. Haas and Benjamin say they'll fight them one way or another.
Here's a video on The Prodigy Mike Bennett. Cornette talks about how great he is but Bennett is a joke. He looks a bit like Mike Sanders from WCW. Bennett wants to be a movie star and has a trainer named Bob Evans who looks like a young Mickey from Rocky. Yeah he's just a cocky heel that apparently has talent.
Mike Bennett vs. Jimmy Jacobs
Jacobs' manager is Steve Corino and they're trying to repent for past sins in ROH. Here's the opening bell for the first match, 18 minutes into the show. And now we have an opening focused on the idea that Jacobs won't hit him. Bennett takes over with really basic stuff and we have a Tweet of the Week which says You should watch ROH because I'm Batman and Batman says so. Seriously? I mean seriously?
Jacobs sends him to the floor and misses a dive to shift the little momentum he had going. Bennett pounds away with some of the most generic offense I've ever seen. Jacobs no sells a kick to the face and takes over with a clothesline and a neckbreaker. He sets for a tornado DDT but instead lands on his feet and hits a top suplex for two. Bennett grabs a spinebuster for two. Sliced Bread gets two for Jacobs. A senton backsplash eats knees and a sitout Rock Bottom called the Box Office Smash ends this at 5:56.
A fan thinks El Generico will win tonight.
Eddie Edwards talks about how he got the name Die Hard. He hurt his elbow and fought the next day so it was a huge deal.
Richards talks about facing Roderick Strong next week. I like Roderick but can't stand Richards so maybe it'll be better. Richards sums the match up well: We're fighting because we don't like each other and we never have. I can live with that.
Roderick says he'll beat Richards.
TV Title: Jay Lethal vs. El Generico
Well they have a lot of time for this one at least with over 20 minutes to go. And never mind as Kelly tells us there's a 15 minute time limit. McGuinness wants to know why he's more tanned than Generico who is from Mexico. Generico speeds things up to take over early. Lethal is like I can do moves that are flashy but don't really hurt that much either! Backbreaker gets two for Lethal but Lethal hooks on some weird surfboard variation with a Texas Cloverleaf leg grip.
Dropkick gets two for Lethal. Generico speeds things up with arm drags and hits a huge swan dive over the top to take Lethal out as we go to a break. Back with Lethal in control after Generico hit a moonsault off the guardrail. Ok scratch that as Generico gets two off something we missed while watching a replay. Lethal gets a sunset flip for two. This isn't much of a match but indy fans would love it.
They slug it out and Lethal is sent to the top for a missile dropkick. With three minutes remaining in a 15 minute time limit we're heading for a time limit draw (at the 12 minute mark that is). Lethal Injection gets two. Generico walks the corner and hits most of a tornado DDT for two. There's a minute left. Blue Thunder Bomb (go play No Mercy for a description) gets two and we have thirty seconds left. Time expires at 12:40 which is including the commercial time.
At 2:54 Jim Cornette comes out and says we have three minutes left in the show so put three minutes on the clock and get to it.
They slug it out like crazy after being all respectful. Generico hits the Yakuza kick and a half nelson suplex for two. Generico loads up the Brainbuster but Lethal escapes and goes up for a top rope elbow but Generico moves and the Brainbuster is blocked again. There's the elbow for two. A snap suplex sets up a second Yakuza kick but Lethal counters with a superkick and the Lethal Combination (called the Injection here) for the pin and the title at 2:24 of overtime. The overtime was better than the regular match.
And again we go off the air at 2:58. What's up with that?
Results
Mike Bennett b. Jimmy Jacobs Box Office Smash
Jay Lethal b. El Generico Lethal Injection
Sunday
Hell in a Cell 2011
Date: October 2, 2011
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Booker T
Well it's only two weeks after the last PPV and it's three weeks away from the next one so the build for this much be well developed right? Anyway the mains are a triple threat for Red and a rematch for Blue and as usual with the main events lately, Blue > Red. I'm really not wild on this show but the Cell should help things a little. Anyway let's get to it.
The opening video is your usual oh no the Cell is horrible even though it's the PG Era and the lack of brutality cripples this thing.
Miz and Truth are in the front row and are ejected by Johnny Ace. That was quick.
Christian vs. Sheamus
Sheamus uses his power stuff to start us off and Christian uses his size and speed to escape. I love power vs. speed matches. Christian tries to speed things up and slaps Sheamus on the floor. Yes, slap the big monster that already wants to hurt you. Back in the forearms to the chest start up. I'd say that needs a name but that could be stupider than having two PPVs in two weeks.
Christian tries going up and that fails also, resulting in a powerslam/spinebuster. The top rope shoulder block is broken up and Sheamus is knocked to the floor to finally give Captain Charisma (if that name still applies) the advantage. Back in and a jumping back elbow (still love that move) gets two. We head to a sleeper hold because someone thinks it's the 1980s and that move still means anything.
After it gets broken up, the Canadian just hammers away and actually beats Sheamus down. Score one for Canada I guess. Missile dropkick gets two. Sheamus is like screw this in an Irish accent and pounds Christian down. When all else fails, hit the other guy a lot. That should work almost every time. All Sheamus now as he hits some clotheslines but has a gorilla press countered into a Killswitch attempt which fails as usual.
Irish Curse (probably not called that anymore because 3 people in some tiny town in Ireland complained so WWE paid them some obscene sum so that they wouldn't complain to Linda's Senate campaign) gets two but Christian gets out of the Celtic Cross again. Christian heads up and that fails as well. He's just not having a good night. He manages to knock Sheamus back for a bit and we get close to even.
Tornado DDT puts Sheamus down but the Killswitch is countered. So is the flying shoulder there but Sheamus pulls himself from sitting down in the corner to the top rope using the rope for a backflip in an awesome move and there's the shoulder. Out to the floor and Christian drills him with a spear to put big Irish down. He gets back in at 8 and walks into another spear for a close two. I thought that might have been it. Christian tries for the Killswitch but it gets countered both times and after the Canadian's shoulder goes into the post, the Brogue Kick puts him down for the pin at.
Henry cuts off Striker and makes fun of his voice and the usual interviews they have, saying Orton is joining the Hall of Pain no matter what.
Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara
This could be horrible. For the sake of sanity I'll call them Black and Blue with Blue being the botchtastic original and Black being the replacement. They feel each other out and Blue frustrates Black a bit. Blue sends him to the floor and hits a big old flip dive. He looks a bit better than he did before he left so maybe the time for practice helped him. Black takes over and we head back into the ring.
And let's hit the chinlock. I mean let's hit it for awhile. Yes because in a match over who the real crazy high flier is, the right thing to do is go to a rest hold. I guess Black is supposed to be the evil one but it's pretty stupid. The fans chant boring and I can't say I disagree. Blue takes offense to it I guess and sends him to the floor for a big dive and back in for some kicks and a rana for two.
Black counters into a layout powerbomb for a close two. Booker talks about hitting someone in the mask area. Cole: You mean the head? Cole can be annoying but when he's on with his jokes, he's very on. As Cole makes fun of the Spanish of both guys, Blue hits a top rope armdrag for two but a swanton misses. Not that it matters as a sunset bomb hits a few seconds later for the pin at 9:40. Blue won if that wasn't clearn.
Otunga comes up to Punk in the back and lawyer jokes abound. Punk doesn't want to talk to him and Punk makes fun of him some more and says he doesn't need a lawyer even when he wins the title tonight. Otunga even has a sweater and bowtie tonight. Punk tells him to vanish.
Tag Titles: Air Boom vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger
Cole: And yes folks that name is your fault! Ziggler vs. Kofi to start us off. See, this is old school booking: these were four guys in two singles feuds and they didn't really have anything else to do after that so they were combined into one feud and made into tag teams which gives them new matches down the road while still being able to feud with the same people in a different feud. See it's not that hard.
Ziggler gets beaten down for awhile but gets a boot up in the corner to take down Bourne and bring in Swagger. Everyone but Ziggler is in blue. We get into the standard Air Boom formula: hot start, then they get into trouble and by that I mean Bourne gets beaten down for awhile. Cole talks about how Vickie is going to get Swagger matches and spots he wants which is what you do as a manager. You have someone like Vickie who is a heat magnet and you have two guys like Swagger and Ziggler with talent but limited charisma. It's a perfect match as they can do in the ring and she supplements it with the talking. Everyone wins.
Kofi comes in and Swagger pulls the rope down to send him to the floor so Ziggy can take over. Cole goes on a long rant about HHH and how horrible he is and Booker is like man I was in WCW so don't try to tell me about politics. Not in so many words but it's almost kind of maybe in a way implied. We mix up the formula a bit here so that Kofi is the one getting beaten down.
After Ziggler gets his beating in it's the ankle lock by Swagger. Kofi escapes and hits a DDT to put both guys down. There's the hot tag to Bourne and everything breaks down. Ziggler bails so Kofi takes Swagger down and breaks up the ankle lock with a top rope cross body. Bourne hits a standing moonsault to Dolph for two. The challengers set for some assisted powerbomb off the top but Bourne counters into a rana off the top to pin Swagger at 11:13.
HHH trailer.
We recap Henry vs. Orton and I think you know the story here by now. Henry is a monster, beat up everyone then beat Orton for the title two weeks ago and that warrants the biggest gimmick match in the company. Clear connection right?
Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry
Vengeance is pushed and it's in three weeks. Are you serious? They head to the floor quickly and Orton sends him into the cage and beats him down. Orton tries the elevated DDT but it's too early for that so Henry fights it off and Orton's shoulder goes into the post and gets pulled on. Orton gets sent into the cage but fights back in the ring. Henry is like FRIED CHICKEN AND BISCUITS and hits a powerslam for two. Henry goes for the steps and slams them into Orton (or was it the other way around?) to keep up the dominance.
Henry uses more step stuff and sends him into the cage then yells about pizza and twinkies before we go back inside. Orton tries to hammer away but Henry is just too fat. He picks Orton up into the World's Strongest Slam position but hits a backbreaker instead. Then he does it again. I guess he wanted to go back for seconds. Off to a bearhug so Henry can think of peach cobbler and Skittles.
JR drops some alliteration on us as Henry keeps dominating. At Mania 13 Shawn was on commentary and said of Sid that he didn't stray from the power game because it took him everywhere he needed to go. That's Henry in a nutshell: why change things if they work? More bearhuggery as my money is on prime rib wishes and burrito dreams for the champion.
Orton tries to hammer away but Henry is like THE POWER OF PUMPKIN PIE COMPELS YOU and sends him to the floor again. He sets to plant Orton like a patch of carrots into the steps with the Slam but Orton grabs onto the cage and climbs up a bit so he can DDT Henry onto the steps. Momentum shifts now and Henry is in trouble. Thesz Press and punches set up a dropkick to put Henry on the apron.
The elevated DDT actually works and the RKO does as well but Henry kicks out at two. Orton is shocked and isn't sure what to do now. That's a great plot device as Randy only had one big weapon to use but it only got two. Cole says Orton can't beat him. Booker says hit it again. I never got why after a finisher can't get a pin that everyone thinks they can't get the pin. I mean...you can do it again. Orton loads up the Punt but Henry grabs him into the World's Strongest Slam and gets the pin at 16:00. Sweet.
Post match Henry goes to leave but goes back in for dessert. He hits another Slam on Orton and sets up for Pillmanization. Orton moves (smart guy) and gets the chair. He pounds Henry down and they go up the aisle. Orton keeps pounding away and goes for a big chair shot but Henry gets a kick to the ribs and Henry runs. So yeah, there's going to be a third one, probably in another gimmick match because the Cell is just a stop in the road on a feud anymore.
Alberto says he can win in the Cell and he'll be like an animal trapped in a cage. You'll see a new side of him tonight.
Here's Rhodes and he has a surprise. He unveils a new IC Title which looks like the old style and has the white strap instead of the black. I think I'm digging this. Cody says he'll defend the title anywhere anytime. Here's Johnny Ace to complain though and he says HHH says the title is on the line tonight and it's right now.
Intercontinental Title: John Morrison vs. Cody Rhodes
They needed a filler match so this is a good thing. Yeah I'm digging the white belt. Cody is in street clothes and is rolled up for two very quickly. Cole stands up for Cody (instead of WWE) and Cody can't do anything because of his attire. Morrison takes over and sends Cody to the floor. Rhodes gets his shirt off and Morrison throws it into the crowd. Cody keeps heading to the floor and looks like he wants to leave.
Morrison is like *insert stupid expression here* and heads to the floor. Back in and Rhodes takes over for a bit. Well of course he can. I mean, Morrison is just a former champion and a world class athlete so of course a non warmed up guy can take over on him while in street clothes. Ok so he used the mask but you get the idea. Off to a seated abdominal stretch. Yeah because the weak spot on Morrison is his abs right?
Alabama Slam is countered but Rhodes grabs a Figure Four of all things. Ok so now he's working on the knee. I guess it's better than the ribs/abs. Now he's focusing on the face. And I used to say he had psychology. Here's Morrison's comeback and a kick sets up Starship Pain but Rhodes breaks it up. Belly to back is countered but Morrison hits a Pele (called that) and sets for whatever he calls the Beautiful Disaster but Rhodes ducks and a rollup lets him retain at 7:23.
Ace comes up to HHH on the phone and cuts HHH off from yelling at him. Awesome Truth is in the back. HHH runs to the back and finds them having destroyed Air Boom. Ace gets yelled at as the champions are down.
Divas Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly
Kelly runs at her and hits what are supposed to be Thesz Presses (popular move tonight) and the screaming headscissors which is countered into a backbreaker. Beth takes over and chokes her down with what looks like a dragon sleeper. Off to another backbreaker but this time she bends Kelly over her knee but Kelly counters into a rollup for two. Slingshot suplex gets two for Beth.
Kelly starts her comeback and uses generic offense and a neckbreaker for two. She tries the bad bulldog but Beth counters into a Glam Slam attempt. Beth pounds away in the corner but Kelly fights out and hits the handspring elbow. Cole calls it vintage and Great Muta rolls his eyes somewhere. Top rope bulldog by Kelly gets a very close two. Eve and Nattie get into it on the floor and Eve goes flying into the barricade.
K2 is countered and Beth kicks Kelly between the legs for some reason. Beth hooks up that freaky submission that Natalya has been using lately and Nattie gets on the mic and tells Kelly to scream. Is this WWE's version of porn? Kelly makes the ropes and Natalya pops her with the mic which somehow the referee didn't hear. Glam Slam FINALLY ends Kelly's reign at 8:34. Yes they're that long on time.
Vengeance is coming.
We recap the Raw World Title which is clouded or something because of what happened at MITB and Summerslam. Not really but whatever. Either way it's Cell match time.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk
After big match intros we're ready to go. There's a TON of time for this as it's only about 10 minutes after 10. They emphasize that the fall has to be in the ring. Fair enough. Alberto immediately hits the floor and runs a lot. Both guys chase him and they slide in to get in what they can and the Super Best Friends fight over who gets to beat up Del Rio. Punk tries to steal the title on a rollup but it only gets two.
The big stars face off and both escape the other's finishers. Del Rio tries to take Cena out but gets caught in an AA attempt on the floor. Punk dives onto Del Rio and Cena to break it up for some reason and back in the ring a neckbreaker gets two on Del Rio. The dueling chants begin but after being a CM Punk/Let's Go Cena chant it's turned into Cena Sucks very quickly. See the issue? It's not so much pro Punk but rather anti-Cena.
Del Rio gets back into this and sends Punk into the cage. Cena is down also and Punk is the only one left standing after he takes out Alberto. He loads up a table on the floor but Cena shoves him into the cage to avoid a bulldog. Alberto gets a chair in and hits a belly to back onto the chair with Cena slowing breaking the chair down. That looked good. There are the chants again.
Cena is in the Tree of Woe and Del Rio misses a charge, sending his shoulder into the post. Off to Punk vs. Del Rio and with Punk in trouble, Cena dives off the top with the legdrop and gets two on both guys. This is good so far. AA is escaped by Alberto and he goes for the ribs/back of Cena. Del Rio is sent to the floor and Ricardo fans him off. Cena and Punk slug it out and it's boo/yay time. GTS is broken up by a chair swung by Del Rio.
He picks up the chair and comes off the top with it to land on both of the Super Best Friends, getting two on each. Del Rio charges at Punk in the corner but is dropped over the top and hits the stairs on the way out. You couldn't see it but you could hear it. AA out of nowhere gets two on Punk with Alberto saving. Del Rio is sent to the floor again and this time it's the GTS to Cena for two. Del Rio saves again and sends Punk into the steps. He's been the wild card in this so far and it's working.
Cena is sent into the cage again so it's Punk vs. Del Rio in the ring. Punk fights back and the Macho Elbow gets two. Cena comes back in and sends Punk through the table at ringside. Cena grabs the STF and Ricardo takes down the referee and breaks into the Cell. Ricardo has a pipe with him but Cena takes him down and throws him out of the Cell. Del Rio gets the pipe and bashes Cena with it. He throws Cena out and locks him outside with the key inside. Ok this is interesting.
The Mexican hits a German on the American for two. Punk goes up and Del Rio hits the running enziguri for two. Cross armbreaker is broken up and Punk fires off the kicks. Leg lariat puts Del Rio down and Cena is just now getting up and figures out that he's locked out. Punk hits the bulldog as Cena looks for the key. Springboard clothesline gets two and Cena is trying to break the chain and the lock open. Alberto goes to the floor and grabs the pipe. It's only about 10:30 so there's plenty of time here. Two pipe shots put Punk down and Del Rio wins it at 24:12. I guess there isn't a lot of time left.
Post match the Cell raises up and Cena gets in as do men in black hoodies. It's Miz/Truth with pipes or something and the beating is on. HHH comes out and gets beaten down also as the Cell lowers again. HHH is on the floor, outside of the cage. The locker room comes out but no one has the idea of bolt cutters. Miz and Truth beat up cameramen and referees as some cops come in with cutters and get in. Truth and Miz surrender to the police and are cuffed. HHH beats up the cuffed men and is taken out by security...and we're off the air at 10:37.
Results
Sheamus b. Christian Brogue Kick
Sin Cara b. Sin Cara Sunset Bomb
Air Boom b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler Top rope hurricanrana to Swagger
Mark Henry b. Randy Orton World's Strongest Slam
Cody Rhodes b. John Morrison Rollup
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly Glam Slam
Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena and CM Punk Pin after a pipe shot to Punk
Quick Results
Raw
Cody Rhodes won a battle royal last eliminating Sheamus
Natlya/Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres Glam Slam to Kelly Kelly
John Cena b. Christian via disqualification when Alberto Del Rio interfered
Dolph Ziggler b. Zach Ryder Zig Zag
Air Boom/Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler/Mason Ryan Rough Ryder to Ziggler
CM Punk b. Alberto Del Rio High Kick
NXT
Jinder Mahal b. Yoshi Tatsu Full Nelson Slam
Tyson Kidd b. Percy Watson Springboard Elbow
Usos b. Darren Young/JTG Top rope splash to Young
Impact Wrestling
Brian Kendrick b. Kid Kash, Alex Shelley, Zima Ion and Jesse Sorensen Kendrick pulled down the contract
Madison Rayne b. Tara Rollup
D'Angelo Dinero b. Mr. Anderson Pin after Bully Ray hit Anderson with a kendo stick
Robert Roode b. AJ Styles Crossface
Smackdown
Mark Henry b. Great Khali World's Strongest Slam
Jack Swagger b. Evan Bourne Ankle Lock
Sin Cara b. Heath Slater Swanton Bomb
Kelly Kelly b. Natalya Victory Roll
Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes via DQ when Christian interfered
Zack Ryder b. JTG Rough Ryder
Randy Orton vs. Christian went to a double countout
Ring of Honor
Mike Bennett b. Jimmy Jacobs Box Office Smash
Jay Lethal b. El Generico Lethal Injection
Hell in a Cell 2011
Sheamus b. Christian Brogue Kick
Sin Cara b. Sin Cara Sunset Bomb
Air Boom b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler Top rope hurricanrana to Swagger
Mark Henry b. Randy Orton World's Strongest Slam
Cody Rhodes b. John Morrison Rollup
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly Glam Slam
Alberto Del Rio b. John Cena and CM Punk Pin after a pipe shot to Punk