klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Friday
Impact got a .98, virtually the same as last week. Viewership was up which is a good sign as the NFL season started last night.
Smackdown
Date: September 6, 2013
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
We're almost three weeks into the new Corporation and not a lot has really changed. Daniel Bryan is still getting destroyed every week, the roster still won't help him and it still makes all the good guys look like cowards who won't stand up for anyone. The other main story is Punk vs. Heyman which is set for a handicap tag at Night of Champions. After that I could see the two stories merging with Punk helping Bryan in his war with the Corporation. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of Cody getting a match against Orton and losing his job as a result. No mention of Bryan and Big Show in the intros here.
Opening sequence.
HHH and the GM's are in the ring (with a red carpet) and the roster on the stage with Shield standing guard at ringside. HHH says as of Monday, Cody Rhodes is no longer a WWE Superstar. He talks about Cody being insubordinate to the COO of the WWE, making him disrespectful to the fans since HHH is the WWE. How long do you think he's wanted to say that line? He gave Cody a chance to fight for his job but Rhodes lost, meaning Cody Rhodes fired Cody Rhodes.
That was hard since HHH is friends with the Rhodes Family but as COO he has to make some hard decisions. However, tonight he's going to allow for an open forum for any superstar to air their grievances. No one says anything so HHH begs them to open up to him so he can work hard for everyone here. Damien Sandow supports the firing of Cody Rhodes because Cody embodied everything that was bad for business.
HHH says he appreciates that but doesn't want this to be all about kissing up to him. Kofi Kingston goes to the mic and says the entire locker room has been living in fear since Cody was fired and that's not good for business. HHH took Cody's livelihood away and that makes everyone else live in fear. HHH is about to respond but 3MB cuts him off to complain about Big Show just standing around watching everything. Oh and thank you HHH for having an awesome management style.
RVD comes to the mic and says HHH brought him back to WWE a few months ago. Rob expected things to be better now but the vibe isn't very cool around here. HHH: I've been waiting since 2000 to have RVD call me dude. HHH thinks Rob is still cool and asks to hear from someone else.
Ryback is tired of being called a bully and HHH agrees because it wasn't Ryback's fault Ziggler was hurt on Raw. Therefore tonight it's Ryback vs. Ziggler again. HHH stops for a minute to say that Daniel Bryan isn't here because Bryan thinks he's above everyone else on the stage. Tonight it's Bryan vs. a member of the Shield of Bryan's choice. HHH thanks the stars for their honesty and gives Kofi a non-title match against Curtis Axel. RVD gets a non-title match as well against Randy Orton. Orton gets his big introduction to end this segment.
Time for a sidebar. This segment shows a lot of what's wrong with this whole story: it's a HHH story and everyone else is just there. A few weeks ago after Bryan destroyed the Escalade, HHH said Orton was just holding the WWE Title for him. Tonight HHH said he was the WWE. The guys that all said stuff were treated to HHH's unfunny jokes as HHH tries to be a cool heel.
Much like the far too long feud with Lesnar, this is a HHH story which we don't need. Everyone else is just there in the background but it's HHH front and center every week. More people are going to be elevated throughout the story but so far it's only pushed HHH. It's still entertaining and has potential, but there's too much HHH dominance so far and it's hurting things.
Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam
Del Rio sits in on commentary. Rob starts with some shoulder into the ribs and a kick to the face for two. Another kick to the face gets two more and a slingshot legdrop has Randy writhing around on the mat. A top rope kick to the face gets two for Rob but Orton counters Rolling Thunder into a powerslam for two. Orton stomps Van Dam's head but Rob comes back with yet another kick for two. The fans chant for ECW as Randy pounds away at Rob's head for two.
Rob comes back with the fifth kick to the face of the match as Del Rio says Ricardo was stealing money from him, hence the split. We head to the floor with Orton being draped across the barricade, only to move from Rob's kick to the back. I don't think I've ever seen that move miss before. Back in and Orton goes after the leg with a Robinsdale Crunch before stopping to pose.
Randy throws him back to the floor and we take a break. Back with Rob fighting out of the chinlock and getting two off a superkick and a standing moonsault. A spinwheel kick in the corner staggers Orton but he avoids a monkey flip and kicks Rob's leg out for two. The Elevated DDT puts Rob down but the RKO is countered with, say it with me, a kick to the head. A rollup gets two for Rob and now Rolling Thunder connects.
The Five Star misses and Rob rolls to the floor for a second, only to come back in for another kick to Randy's face. Alberto gets off commentary and sends Ricardo into the post, drawing Rob into a dive to the floor, taking Del Rio out. Randy sends RVD into the announce table and hits the Elevated DDT on the floor (the same move that wrote RVD out of the WWE six years ago, not mentioned here of course) before the RKO gets the pin at 10:18 shown of 13:18.
Post match Del Rio beats up Rob and puts him in the cross armbreaker.
Daniel Bryan says that he wasn't invited to the town hall meeting and the only attitude problem he has is that he wants to be WWE Champion. Shield can pick a member to face him because any of them are fine with him.
AJ runs into Layla, Aksana and Alicia Fox (who is at least six inches taller than all three of them) and says that she'd rather face any of them rather than the Total Divas because the three of them are actual wrestlers. AJ has a plan.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Ryback
This is a rematch from Monday where Ambrose jumped Ziggler before the match. Ziggler escapes a quick gorilla press and low bridges Ryback out to the floor. Back in and Ziggler hits a quick dropkick but misses a splash into the corner to give Ryback control. Dean Ambrose jumps in on commentary out of nowhere and goes into that creepy voice of his.
Ryback puts on a bearhug and gets a two count out of it before lifting Ziggler back into the air. A BIG DDT gets Dolph out of trouble and he pounds away on Ryback in the corner. Dolph gets two off a neckbreaker and the Fameasser gets the same. Ryback knocks Ziggy to the floor but misses a charge into the steps. Ziggler goes after Ambrose but walks into the Meat Hook to take his head off. Back in and the Shell Shock ends Ziggler at 4:32.
Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston
Non-title. They fight over a top wristlock to start and the fans are entirely behind the hometown boy Axel here. Axel takes him to the mat as we open with some nice chain wrestling. Off to a headlock by Axel but Kofi fights out for the double leapfrog and jumping back elbow to the jaw. Curtis has a quick consultation with Heyman and walks right into a headscissors.
Kofi dropkicks him to the floor but Axel steps to the side before Kofi can launch the suicide dive. Instead Axel tries to send Kingston into the steps, only to have Kofi jump over the steps, turn around and use the steps as a springboard for a clothesline. A Heyman distraction lets Axel shoulder Kofi to the floor and we take a break. Back with Axel holding a chinlock but Kofi comes back with kicks to the ribs. Axel will have none of that though and hits a clothesline to the back of the head for a close two.
The fans want to see a PerfectPlex but instead they get Axel jumping into Kofi's boots to put both guys down. Kofi speeds things up but walks into a great looking dropkick for two more. The dueling chants begin but Kofi misses a charge into the corner and gets caught in a quick Tree of Woe. Not that it matters as Kofi escapes and hooks the SOS out of nowhere for the pin at 6:44 shown of 9:44.
We get the Bray Wyatt promo from Raw on Kane disappearing while talking about Icarus. The myth, not the indy guy.
Heyman is panicking over what might happen at the PPV when Renee asks him about that very thing. Paul calls tonight an error in judgment and takes the blame instead of putting it on Axel. Renee says that Punk has promised to give Heyman the beating of his life which freaks Paul out even worse.
Naomi vs. Brie Bella
Have we ever gotten an explanation of why she's Naomi in WWE and Trinity on Total Divas? Brie kicks her down and puts on a chinlock while shouting that she'll be Divas Champion. Trinity fights out and hits a flipping clothesline for two before they tumble to the floor where AJ, Alicia, Aksana and Layla run to the ring for the DQ at 1:39.
The Total Divas are beaten down and AJ declares herself Divas Champion. This is somewhat booed, which makes me chuckle as they're really going with the Total Divas as the good people here.
Los Matadores are coming.
Real Americans vs. Usos
Antonio now has a We The People cape, making him even more amazing than he was before. Cesaro charges right at Jey with a dropkick at the bell to send him to the floor. Swagger gets the tag and runs Jey down with a clothesline on the floor before heading back inside. The Vader Bomb crushes Jey and a double stomp from Cesaro makes it even worse. Back to Swager for a double arm trap but Jey fights up and backdrops Jack to the floor.
The hot tag brings in Jimmy who throws Antonio to the floor and hits a big dive to take him down again. Back in and the running Umaga attack in the corner gets two as Swagger saves. Jey superkicks Cesaro down and loads up the Superfly Splash but Swagger shoves him right into the European uppercut for the pin by Cesaro at 3:37. Jey sold that perfectly by stopping cold on impact and looking like he ran into a building.
HHH comes up to see Big Show and gives him a handicap match against 3MB for what they said earlier. Big Show can use the like stress balls.
The Raw ReBound covers the Big Show/HHH/Bryan stuff that closed the show.
Big Show vs. 3MB
Slater is the first lamb to be slaughtered and Show takes out the knee. The other two are knocked to the floor and the carnage begins. Show unleashes the chops on Mahal's chest and spears Drew in half. Back in and a double chokeslam takes out Mahal and McIntyre but it's the WMD to pin Slater at 2:35. Exactly what you would expect here.
Shield comes out as Show leaves but HHH takes the giant to the back.
Seth Rollins vs. Daniel Bryan
Reigns steps forward to distract Bryan and give Seth a cheap shot to start. Bryan comes back with a knee to the ribs and fires off the kicks to a kneeling Rollins. A Cactus Clothesline sends both guys to the floor but Bryan heads inside with Shield closing in on him. Rollins knocks him back to the floor and kicks Bryan in the side of the head for two. Off to a chinlock for a bit before Bryan comes back with forearms and a release German suplex. Bryan hits the corner dropkick and its missile cousin for two.
Back up and Bryan fires off more kicks but the Rollins ducks the roundhouse kick and shoves Daniel to the apron. An enziguri puts Bryan on the floor and Reigns gets in a cheap shot to take Bryan down. Bryan is whipped into the steps but Rollins' top rope knee is countered into the YES Lock. A Reigns distraction breaks it up though and Bryan hits the FLYING GOAT to take out Roman. Not that it matters though as the running knee to the head pins Rollins at 6:06.
Bryan bails to escape Shield and poses on the stage.....but Orton lays him out with the belt to end the show. This would be the seventh consecutive show to end with Daniel Bryan laid out since he won the WWE Championship.
Results
Randy Orton b. Rob Van Dam RKO
Ryback b. Dolph Ziggler Shell Shock
Kofi Kingston b. Curtis Axel SOS
Naomi vs. Brie Bella went to a double DQ when Layla, Alicia Fox, Aksana and AJ Lee interfered
Real Americans b. Usos European Uppercut to Jey Uso
Big Show b. 3MB WMD to Slater
Daniel Bryan b. Seth Rollins Running knee to the head
Knockout Knockdown
Date: September 6, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
It's time for another one of these shows because having four months between regular PPVs is perfectly fine in TNA. Tonight's theme is pretty obvious: it's all about the girls with a bunch of singles matches and the winners going into a battle royal to determine who is the best Knockout EVER. In other words, it's the same one idea show as the tag team and X-Division shows. Let's get to it.
The opening video basically says it's all about the Knockouts and that's it. Oh and it's produced by Brooke Hogan so she can get her name on something else.
All of the Knockouts come to the ring to open the show. A lot of these girls are from OVW or have never appeared in TNA before. They're here for a speech from Brooke to make sure we know she exists. She explains the tournament like it's a regular tournament despite everything else I can find saying it's a battle royal at the end with the winners of the previous match.
We get a clip from Bound For Glory 2007 where Gail Kim beat Roxxi Leveaux in the final match of a gauntlet match to become the first champion.
Gail Kim is in the back and lists off her accomplishments and says she'll be the winner tonight. Madison Rayne pops in and says it would be awesome for Gail to become the new Queen of TNA.
Gail Kim vs. Alissa Flash
Flash is more famous as Cheerleader Melissa and Raisha Saed in TNA. Gail grabs a headlock to start as Taz complains about being ranked too low in PWI one year. Now it's on to the Cauliflower Alley Club as Flash counters into an arm crank, only to have Gail take her down with relative ease. Flash comes back with a German suplex to send Gail to the outside for a breather.
A quick chase scene goes nowhere until Gail sends her into the barricade to take over. Back in and Gail chokes away before getting two off a missile dropkick. Off to an Octopus Hold (AJ's Black Widow, even though the Octopus Hold is normally the name of a different hold entirely) but Flash counters into something resembling the Edgecator. Gail gets to the ropes and manages to kick Flash in the head to escape.
Flash goes nuts for a second and pounds away before taking Gail down with a Samoan drop. Some clotheslines put Gail down and Flash hits some rapid fire punches in the corner. Something like a curb stomp gets two and a missile dropkick gets the same for Alissa. A dragon screw leg whip puts Gail down but Alissa walks into Eat Defeat out of nowhere for the pin.
Video on Lei'D Tapa who has only been wrestling for two years now. She cries because her uncle, the Barbarian, is so proud of her. I think this is her Gut Check video. It still should have been Ivelisse.
We get Ivelisse's Gut Check video as well. Again, she has more experience, a better look, an MMA background (remember that the Gut Check with her and Tapa was around the time that Ronda Rousey was headlining a UFC show) and is very good looking, but she's not the Barbarian's niece so she has no future right?
Ivelisse vs. Lei'D Tapa
Tapa takes her down with ease and sends Ivelisse into the corner. Ivelisse gets all fired up and kicks Tapa back before a kick to the ribs sends Lei'D down. Tapa tries to sit down onto Ivelisse to block a sunset flip but only hits mat. A shot to the ribs takes Ivelisse down and a bad looking slam does the same. Ivelisse chops away but gets clotheslined back down followed by something like an AA for no cover.
Tapa chokes her down and pounds on Ivelisse's back some more but charges into a kick in the corner. A bad looking rana (since Tapa is a freaking giant) puts Tapa down to the floor and a BIG dive takes her down again. The fans are into Ivelisse, giving TNA even more proof that they screwed up. Back in and Ivelisse puts on a guillotine choke but Tapa swings her forward into a slam for the pin.
We get a clip from BFG 2012 where Tara won the Knockouts Title and introduced Jesse Godderz as her Hollywood boyfriend.
Tara brags about being awesome and Jesse acts like a jerk of course.
Tara vs. Mia Yim
Yim is another indy chick that I've never seen before. Tara shoves her down to start before going to chill next to Jesse. A hiptoss puts Mia down as the announcers ignore the match with one of their stupid conversations about nothing at all. Mia comes back with some hiptosses to send Tara to the floor and a missile dropkick sends her right back outside. We get another chase with Jesse grabbing Mia's leg to give Tara control.
Tara clotheslines her down for two but Mia Matrixes out of it in a nice counter. We hit the chinlock on Yim but she gets the knees up to block Tara's standing moonsault. Mia comes back with a bunch of kicks and a Lionsault gets no cover as Mia injures her ribs. Instead a German suplex gets two on Tara but a Jesse distraction causes Mia to miss a corkscrew splash. The Widow's Peak sends Tara to the battle royal.
Video on some campaign called Dare To Be, which is little more than a way to show a swimsuit photo shoot. Nothing wrong with that other than ODB. It basically turns into a music video with a lot of shots of a graphic for the Knockouts website.
Video of Tessmacher winning the Knockouts Title.
Miss Tessmacher vs. Santana
Santana Garrett is another indy chick who is rather good looking. Both girls pose on the corner to start with Tessmacher being more popular. Santana takes over with a quick clothesline and a Russian legsweep for two. Off to a Fujiwara Armbar on Tessmacher but she rolls through and kicks Santana in the head for two. Santana hits a low kick of her own for two and it's off to a freaky looking double arm submission.
Tess fires off a headbutt and avoids a middle rope cross body before a forearm puts Santana down. A Stinkface annoys Santana so she slams Tess down but a Tajiri handspring into a moonsault hits knees. The Tess Shocker (the belly to back suplex into a face plant) gets the pin on Santana in a quick match.
ODB says she's tough and doesn't care who she's fighting tonight. She's fighting Trinity and promises to out drink her.
Now, for more proof that these are a waste of time, here's the ENTIRE ODB and Eric Young wedding. Literally, they spent fifteen minutes showing us the ENTIRE SEGMENT. Are they that strapped for cash that they can't take one of the girls in the three way tonight and thrown a few hundred bucks at some indy chick to give her the biggest match of her career? Instead we get this entire thing which really has nothing to do with the Knockouts. It's a comedy angle that came and went and that's about it. Egads what a waste of time.
ODB vs. Trinity
Trinity still looks good. She talks trash to start so ODB rubs her crotch at Trinity to show how classy she is. A clothesline puts Trinity on the floor for our first move in a minute and a half. ODB follows her out and rams Trinity into the apron before a LOUD chop fires the crowd up a bit. ODB uses a handshake to pull Trinity into a clothesline but Trinity takes her down and stomps a bit. This is going nowhere. ODB keeps crawling towards her flask before coming back with another clothesline. She finally gets the flask and goes nuts with a bronco buster for two. The Bam is good for the pin on Trinity to finally end this.
Video on Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell, including their awesome last Knockout standing match.
Taryn Terrell vs. Jackie Moore
In case you've never heard my opinion on Moore, we'll keep it simple and say I wouldn't mind if she was trampled by stampeding camels. Why she keeps getting spots on shows is beyond me, but I'm sure she can shout really loudly and explain why, because shouting really loudly is just as good as anything else right?
Jackie pounds away but Taryn comes back with an elbow to the face. Terrell pounds away in the corner but Jackie slams her down and calls her Barbie. Some hair drags have Taryn down even more and we hit the chinlock. A back elbow drops Taryn for two and it's back to the chinlock. Back up and a double clothesline puts both girls down as the crowd isn't all that interested. Taryn fires off some clotheslines and gets two off a clothesline. A middle rope clothesline puts Jackie down and a spear gets two more. Taryn misses a middle rope bulldog and Jackie dropkicks her down for the pin. Just go with it.
Video on British Boot Camp to introduce us to the Blossom Twins.
Hannah Blossom is excited to be here even though her sister Holly is still in England.
Taeler Hendrix vs. Sojournor Bolt vs. Hannah Blossom
Hendrix was a Gut Check chick who got released, Bolt wrestled here for a bit a few years back and Blossom is a British blonde with a twin, both of whom wrestled in OVW for years before the Boot Camp show. Taeler looks great here. Before the match Bolt says since she's been gone, no one has been bigger, better or blacker. Bolt and Hendrix tease an alliance as the fans chant USA.
We get a three way test of strength to start with Blossom getting double teamed. A double hiptoss puts Hannah down and the argument begins between the friends. Hannah rams their heads together to take over, only to have Bolt take her down and grab a leg lock. Hendrix adds a chinlock at the same time to make the Brit scream. Taeler takes off her skirt to reveal some shorts, making the crowd love her even more.
Hendrix and Bolt chop it out as Taz and Tenay make stupid Twitter jokes. Bolt is sent to the floor so Hannah can take over on Taeler. Bolt pulls Hendrix to the floor and hits a Death Valley Driver for two on Blossom. Taeler and Bolt get in a shouting match before Bolt holds Hannah, only to have Taeler run Bolt over. A bicycle kick from Hannah takes Taeler down for the pin.
Another music video on the Knockouts.
Jillian Hall vs. Velvet Sky
You probably remember Jillian from her bad singing schtick in WWE which may or may not have been a Brooke Hogan parody. Jillian does the singing bit here which stopped being funny years ago. The fans are entirely behind Velvet as she accuses Jillian of a hair pull. Some forearms stagger Jillian and she charges into a boot in the corner.
Velvet sends her into the buckle over and over and spanks her for good measure. A bulldog gets two on Jillian but she sends Velvet out to the floor. Sky is sent into the steps so Jillian can ram her head into the mat a few times. A backbreaker gets two on Velvet as Taz shouts about Jillian fooling him or some nonsense like that.
Off to an arm crank from Hall before she stomps on Velvet's back a bit. Sky blocks a suplex and hits a kind of front DDT to put both girls down. Jillian takes over and pounds away but a clothesline is only good for two. Jillian's handspring elbow is countered into a victory roll but Hall drops down into a rollup for two (think Bret vs. Owen at WM X). Not that it matters as Velvet wins with In Yo Face a few seconds later.
Video on Mickie James' career in TNA, mainly focusing on beating Madison in a cage at Lockdown in about 30 seconds.
Serena vs. Mickie James
Serena is the chick who used to be in the Straightedge Society but now she has long hair which really works for her. I believe this is before Mickie's heel turn. They hug it out and shake hands to start. Taz: WHAT THE HECK IS THIS??? Serena takes her to the mat as Tenay and Taz talk about Lance Russell for no apparent reason. Mickie gets caught in a headscissors on the mat but she bounces out, giving the male fans some nice shots. After some nice mat work it's off to a wristlock by Serena leading to a standoff.
They shake hands again as Taz loudly shouts HARDCORE COUNTRY over and over. Mickie rides Serena on the mat a bit and Serena can't armdrag out of it. A Jackknife cover gets two for James and an Oklahoma Roll gets the same. Back up and Serena wants a test of strength but Mickie shouts that she has bigger hands than Serena. Mickie takes her down to the mat but Serena bridges up to take over. Now it's James with a bridge which Serena can't even break by bouncing down onto her.
Mickie fights up and hits a basement dropkick to send Serena to the floor as this is by far already the best match of the night so far. Back in and Serena offers another handshake but pulls Mickie into a headlock to take over. A back elbow sends Mickie to the floor just like she did to Serena a few seconds ago. Serena blasts Mickie in the face as she comes back in as we have our mid match heel turn. Mickie is slammed head first into the mat by the hair for two and Serena poses a lot.
We hit the chinlock as Taz scores the match for some reason. Back up and Serena misses a charge into the post and Mickie gets a needed breather. They slug it out with both girls throwing haymakers and Mickie taking over. A clothesline puts Deeb down and the top rope Thesz Press (minus the Press) sets up the MickieDT for the pin on Serena.
We recap the show so far to set up the gauntlet.
Gauntlet Match
So apparently it's the usual Royal Rumble style until we get to the final two where it's pin/submission for the win. All of the winners from earlier in the night are involved. Hannah Blossom and Gail Kim get us going for presumably two minutes. Gail goes right at Hannah to start and takes her down with a backbreaker. Some corner choking has the Brit in even more trouble as this is one sided so far. Hannah comes back with a quick suplex and an elbow drop for a cover before realizing how the rules work. Not that it matters as Gail knocks her to the apron and then the floor for the elimination.
Lei'D Tapa is #3 after about a minute and fifty seconds, though they probably sped it up for the sake of time. Either that or it's an actual gauntlet with the next person coming in after an elimination. Gail pounds on her in the corner to start but Tapa comes back with some power choking and a big boot to the face. Tapa can't get her out due to a rake of the eyes and here's Tara at #4. Tara goes after Lei'D but can't lift her up in a fireman's carry. Tapa takes her over to the ropes but Gail makes the same and the two normal sized girls double team the monster.
Mickie is #5 as Tapa beats on both other girls. James fires off kicks in the corner to the big girl and the other two help her out, only to be shoved away by Tapa. Tenay makes Andre the Giant comparisons and Taz goes off on him for stupidity, despite the comparison making sense. In a bad looking botch, Mickie tries a hurricanrana on Tapa with the other girls helping, only to see Mickie fall to the floor as well. She gets back in and it's never acknowledged but it looked horrible. Either way it eliminates Tapa as Tessmacher is in at #6.
Tessmacher goes after Tara as Mickie and Gail fight for the 1000th time. Gail is sent to the apron but gets back in as Tara sends Tessmacher to the apron for the same result. Jackie Moore is in at #7 to bring the match down a few pegs. Gail and Jackie stomp on Tessmacher and Mickie kicks at Tara in the corner. ODB is #8 as everyone is laying around. She and Jackie get into it almost immediately before ODB opts to spank Tara a bit. ODB takes a shot from the flash and spits it in Jackie's face before eliminating her.
Velvet Sky is #8, giving us a final grouping of Gail, ODB, Tara, Mickie, Tessmacher and Sky. Everyone pairs off as this is in full on traditional battle royal formula. Tessmacher kicks Mickie to the apron but can't get her any further than that. Velvet and ODB wind up on the apron and slug it out with Velvet knocking ODB to the floor for an elimination. Gail easily eliminates Velvet and we're down to four.
Gail and Tara throw Tessmacher out before double teaming James in the corner. Tara turns on Gail and hits the fireman's carry into the side slam, allowing Mickie to get back up and hammer on Tara a bit. Mickie throws Tara out to get us down to two, meaning it's Gail vs. Mickie, first fall wins. Gail is in early trouble and gets caught by the Thesz Press for two. Gail blocks the MickieDT but gets slammed out of the corner, injuring her ankle in the process. Mickie totally falls for it as the trainer comes out, but it's a ruse (SHOCKING!) as Gail rolls up Mickie with a handful of shorts for the pin and the Miss TNA crown.
Post match Madison comes out to give Gail her crown. Gail makes Madison leave after being crowned to end the show.
Results
Gail Kim b. Alissa Flash Eat Defeat
Lei'D Tapa b. Ivelisse Side Slam
Tara b. Mia Yim Widow's Peak
Miss Tessmacher b. Santana Tess Shocker
ODB b. Trinity Bam
Jackie Moore b. Taryn Terrell Dropkick
Hannah Blossom b. Taeler Hendrix and Sojourner Bolt Bicycle kick to Hendrix
Velvet Sky b. Jillian Hall In Yo Face
Mickie James b. Serena MickieDT
Gail Kim won a gauntlet match last eliminating Mickie James
Saturday
Tyson Kidd returned to the ring at last night's house show.
Sunday
Olympic wrestling will return in 2020.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
The Miz b. Fandango Figure Four
Ryback b. Dolph Ziggler Shell Shock
Prime Time Players b. 3MB Clash of the Titus to Mahal
Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes RKO
Natalya vs. Brie Bella vs. Naomi went to a no contest when AJ Lee interfered
Rob Van Dam b. Damien Sandow Five Star Frog Splash
Daniel Bryan b. Big Show via DQ when Shield interfered
NXT
Bayley/Charlotte b. Alicia Fox/Aksana Rollup to Fox
Corey Graves b. Rick Victor Small Package
Alexander Rusev b. Mason Ryan Camel Clutch
Jack Swagger b. Sami Zayn Patriot Lock
Impact Wrestling
Knux b. Chris Sabin via DQ when Sabin used a hammer
AJ Styles won a gauntlet match last eliminating Christopher Daniels
Wes Brisco/Garrett Bischoff b. James Storm/Gunner Bischoff pinned Gunner after hitting him with a chain
Sting b. Bully Ray Scorpion Deathlock
Smackdown
Randy Orton b. Rob Van Dam RKO
Ryback b. Dolph Ziggler Shell Shock
Kofi Kingston b. Curtis Axel SOS
Naomi vs. Brie Bella went to a double DQ when Layla, Alicia Fox and AJ Lee interfered
Real Americans b. Usos European Uppercut to Jey Uso
Big Show b. 3MB WMD to Slater
Daniel Bryan b. Seth Rollins Running knee to the head
Knockout Knockdown
Gail Kim b. Alissa Flash Eat Defeat
Lei'D Tapa b. Ivelisse Side Slam
Tara b. Mia Yim Widow's Peak
Miss Tessmacher b. Santana Tess Shocker
ODB b. Trinity Bam
Jackie Moore b. Taryn Terrell Dropkick
Hannah Blossom b. Taeler Hendrix and Sojourner Bolt Bicycle kick to Hendrix
Velvet Sky b. Jillian Hall In Yo Face
Mickie James b. Serena MickieDT
Gail Kim won a gauntlet match last eliminating Mickie James
Impact got a .98, virtually the same as last week. Viewership was up which is a good sign as the NFL season started last night.
Smackdown
Date: September 6, 2013
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
We're almost three weeks into the new Corporation and not a lot has really changed. Daniel Bryan is still getting destroyed every week, the roster still won't help him and it still makes all the good guys look like cowards who won't stand up for anyone. The other main story is Punk vs. Heyman which is set for a handicap tag at Night of Champions. After that I could see the two stories merging with Punk helping Bryan in his war with the Corporation. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of Cody getting a match against Orton and losing his job as a result. No mention of Bryan and Big Show in the intros here.
Opening sequence.
HHH and the GM's are in the ring (with a red carpet) and the roster on the stage with Shield standing guard at ringside. HHH says as of Monday, Cody Rhodes is no longer a WWE Superstar. He talks about Cody being insubordinate to the COO of the WWE, making him disrespectful to the fans since HHH is the WWE. How long do you think he's wanted to say that line? He gave Cody a chance to fight for his job but Rhodes lost, meaning Cody Rhodes fired Cody Rhodes.
That was hard since HHH is friends with the Rhodes Family but as COO he has to make some hard decisions. However, tonight he's going to allow for an open forum for any superstar to air their grievances. No one says anything so HHH begs them to open up to him so he can work hard for everyone here. Damien Sandow supports the firing of Cody Rhodes because Cody embodied everything that was bad for business.
HHH says he appreciates that but doesn't want this to be all about kissing up to him. Kofi Kingston goes to the mic and says the entire locker room has been living in fear since Cody was fired and that's not good for business. HHH took Cody's livelihood away and that makes everyone else live in fear. HHH is about to respond but 3MB cuts him off to complain about Big Show just standing around watching everything. Oh and thank you HHH for having an awesome management style.
RVD comes to the mic and says HHH brought him back to WWE a few months ago. Rob expected things to be better now but the vibe isn't very cool around here. HHH: I've been waiting since 2000 to have RVD call me dude. HHH thinks Rob is still cool and asks to hear from someone else.
Ryback is tired of being called a bully and HHH agrees because it wasn't Ryback's fault Ziggler was hurt on Raw. Therefore tonight it's Ryback vs. Ziggler again. HHH stops for a minute to say that Daniel Bryan isn't here because Bryan thinks he's above everyone else on the stage. Tonight it's Bryan vs. a member of the Shield of Bryan's choice. HHH thanks the stars for their honesty and gives Kofi a non-title match against Curtis Axel. RVD gets a non-title match as well against Randy Orton. Orton gets his big introduction to end this segment.
Time for a sidebar. This segment shows a lot of what's wrong with this whole story: it's a HHH story and everyone else is just there. A few weeks ago after Bryan destroyed the Escalade, HHH said Orton was just holding the WWE Title for him. Tonight HHH said he was the WWE. The guys that all said stuff were treated to HHH's unfunny jokes as HHH tries to be a cool heel.
Much like the far too long feud with Lesnar, this is a HHH story which we don't need. Everyone else is just there in the background but it's HHH front and center every week. More people are going to be elevated throughout the story but so far it's only pushed HHH. It's still entertaining and has potential, but there's too much HHH dominance so far and it's hurting things.
Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam
Del Rio sits in on commentary. Rob starts with some shoulder into the ribs and a kick to the face for two. Another kick to the face gets two more and a slingshot legdrop has Randy writhing around on the mat. A top rope kick to the face gets two for Rob but Orton counters Rolling Thunder into a powerslam for two. Orton stomps Van Dam's head but Rob comes back with yet another kick for two. The fans chant for ECW as Randy pounds away at Rob's head for two.
Rob comes back with the fifth kick to the face of the match as Del Rio says Ricardo was stealing money from him, hence the split. We head to the floor with Orton being draped across the barricade, only to move from Rob's kick to the back. I don't think I've ever seen that move miss before. Back in and Orton goes after the leg with a Robinsdale Crunch before stopping to pose.
Randy throws him back to the floor and we take a break. Back with Rob fighting out of the chinlock and getting two off a superkick and a standing moonsault. A spinwheel kick in the corner staggers Orton but he avoids a monkey flip and kicks Rob's leg out for two. The Elevated DDT puts Rob down but the RKO is countered with, say it with me, a kick to the head. A rollup gets two for Rob and now Rolling Thunder connects.
The Five Star misses and Rob rolls to the floor for a second, only to come back in for another kick to Randy's face. Alberto gets off commentary and sends Ricardo into the post, drawing Rob into a dive to the floor, taking Del Rio out. Randy sends RVD into the announce table and hits the Elevated DDT on the floor (the same move that wrote RVD out of the WWE six years ago, not mentioned here of course) before the RKO gets the pin at 10:18 shown of 13:18.
Post match Del Rio beats up Rob and puts him in the cross armbreaker.
Daniel Bryan says that he wasn't invited to the town hall meeting and the only attitude problem he has is that he wants to be WWE Champion. Shield can pick a member to face him because any of them are fine with him.
AJ runs into Layla, Aksana and Alicia Fox (who is at least six inches taller than all three of them) and says that she'd rather face any of them rather than the Total Divas because the three of them are actual wrestlers. AJ has a plan.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Ryback
This is a rematch from Monday where Ambrose jumped Ziggler before the match. Ziggler escapes a quick gorilla press and low bridges Ryback out to the floor. Back in and Ziggler hits a quick dropkick but misses a splash into the corner to give Ryback control. Dean Ambrose jumps in on commentary out of nowhere and goes into that creepy voice of his.
Ryback puts on a bearhug and gets a two count out of it before lifting Ziggler back into the air. A BIG DDT gets Dolph out of trouble and he pounds away on Ryback in the corner. Dolph gets two off a neckbreaker and the Fameasser gets the same. Ryback knocks Ziggy to the floor but misses a charge into the steps. Ziggler goes after Ambrose but walks into the Meat Hook to take his head off. Back in and the Shell Shock ends Ziggler at 4:32.
Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston
Non-title. They fight over a top wristlock to start and the fans are entirely behind the hometown boy Axel here. Axel takes him to the mat as we open with some nice chain wrestling. Off to a headlock by Axel but Kofi fights out for the double leapfrog and jumping back elbow to the jaw. Curtis has a quick consultation with Heyman and walks right into a headscissors.
Kofi dropkicks him to the floor but Axel steps to the side before Kofi can launch the suicide dive. Instead Axel tries to send Kingston into the steps, only to have Kofi jump over the steps, turn around and use the steps as a springboard for a clothesline. A Heyman distraction lets Axel shoulder Kofi to the floor and we take a break. Back with Axel holding a chinlock but Kofi comes back with kicks to the ribs. Axel will have none of that though and hits a clothesline to the back of the head for a close two.
The fans want to see a PerfectPlex but instead they get Axel jumping into Kofi's boots to put both guys down. Kofi speeds things up but walks into a great looking dropkick for two more. The dueling chants begin but Kofi misses a charge into the corner and gets caught in a quick Tree of Woe. Not that it matters as Kofi escapes and hooks the SOS out of nowhere for the pin at 6:44 shown of 9:44.
We get the Bray Wyatt promo from Raw on Kane disappearing while talking about Icarus. The myth, not the indy guy.
Heyman is panicking over what might happen at the PPV when Renee asks him about that very thing. Paul calls tonight an error in judgment and takes the blame instead of putting it on Axel. Renee says that Punk has promised to give Heyman the beating of his life which freaks Paul out even worse.
Naomi vs. Brie Bella
Have we ever gotten an explanation of why she's Naomi in WWE and Trinity on Total Divas? Brie kicks her down and puts on a chinlock while shouting that she'll be Divas Champion. Trinity fights out and hits a flipping clothesline for two before they tumble to the floor where AJ, Alicia, Aksana and Layla run to the ring for the DQ at 1:39.
The Total Divas are beaten down and AJ declares herself Divas Champion. This is somewhat booed, which makes me chuckle as they're really going with the Total Divas as the good people here.
Los Matadores are coming.
Real Americans vs. Usos
Antonio now has a We The People cape, making him even more amazing than he was before. Cesaro charges right at Jey with a dropkick at the bell to send him to the floor. Swagger gets the tag and runs Jey down with a clothesline on the floor before heading back inside. The Vader Bomb crushes Jey and a double stomp from Cesaro makes it even worse. Back to Swager for a double arm trap but Jey fights up and backdrops Jack to the floor.
The hot tag brings in Jimmy who throws Antonio to the floor and hits a big dive to take him down again. Back in and the running Umaga attack in the corner gets two as Swagger saves. Jey superkicks Cesaro down and loads up the Superfly Splash but Swagger shoves him right into the European uppercut for the pin by Cesaro at 3:37. Jey sold that perfectly by stopping cold on impact and looking like he ran into a building.
HHH comes up to see Big Show and gives him a handicap match against 3MB for what they said earlier. Big Show can use the like stress balls.
The Raw ReBound covers the Big Show/HHH/Bryan stuff that closed the show.
Big Show vs. 3MB
Slater is the first lamb to be slaughtered and Show takes out the knee. The other two are knocked to the floor and the carnage begins. Show unleashes the chops on Mahal's chest and spears Drew in half. Back in and a double chokeslam takes out Mahal and McIntyre but it's the WMD to pin Slater at 2:35. Exactly what you would expect here.
Shield comes out as Show leaves but HHH takes the giant to the back.
Seth Rollins vs. Daniel Bryan
Reigns steps forward to distract Bryan and give Seth a cheap shot to start. Bryan comes back with a knee to the ribs and fires off the kicks to a kneeling Rollins. A Cactus Clothesline sends both guys to the floor but Bryan heads inside with Shield closing in on him. Rollins knocks him back to the floor and kicks Bryan in the side of the head for two. Off to a chinlock for a bit before Bryan comes back with forearms and a release German suplex. Bryan hits the corner dropkick and its missile cousin for two.
Back up and Bryan fires off more kicks but the Rollins ducks the roundhouse kick and shoves Daniel to the apron. An enziguri puts Bryan on the floor and Reigns gets in a cheap shot to take Bryan down. Bryan is whipped into the steps but Rollins' top rope knee is countered into the YES Lock. A Reigns distraction breaks it up though and Bryan hits the FLYING GOAT to take out Roman. Not that it matters though as the running knee to the head pins Rollins at 6:06.
Bryan bails to escape Shield and poses on the stage.....but Orton lays him out with the belt to end the show. This would be the seventh consecutive show to end with Daniel Bryan laid out since he won the WWE Championship.
Results
Randy Orton b. Rob Van Dam RKO
Ryback b. Dolph Ziggler Shell Shock
Kofi Kingston b. Curtis Axel SOS
Naomi vs. Brie Bella went to a double DQ when Layla, Alicia Fox, Aksana and AJ Lee interfered
Real Americans b. Usos European Uppercut to Jey Uso
Big Show b. 3MB WMD to Slater
Daniel Bryan b. Seth Rollins Running knee to the head
Knockout Knockdown
Date: September 6, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
It's time for another one of these shows because having four months between regular PPVs is perfectly fine in TNA. Tonight's theme is pretty obvious: it's all about the girls with a bunch of singles matches and the winners going into a battle royal to determine who is the best Knockout EVER. In other words, it's the same one idea show as the tag team and X-Division shows. Let's get to it.
The opening video basically says it's all about the Knockouts and that's it. Oh and it's produced by Brooke Hogan so she can get her name on something else.
All of the Knockouts come to the ring to open the show. A lot of these girls are from OVW or have never appeared in TNA before. They're here for a speech from Brooke to make sure we know she exists. She explains the tournament like it's a regular tournament despite everything else I can find saying it's a battle royal at the end with the winners of the previous match.
We get a clip from Bound For Glory 2007 where Gail Kim beat Roxxi Leveaux in the final match of a gauntlet match to become the first champion.
Gail Kim is in the back and lists off her accomplishments and says she'll be the winner tonight. Madison Rayne pops in and says it would be awesome for Gail to become the new Queen of TNA.
Gail Kim vs. Alissa Flash
Flash is more famous as Cheerleader Melissa and Raisha Saed in TNA. Gail grabs a headlock to start as Taz complains about being ranked too low in PWI one year. Now it's on to the Cauliflower Alley Club as Flash counters into an arm crank, only to have Gail take her down with relative ease. Flash comes back with a German suplex to send Gail to the outside for a breather.
A quick chase scene goes nowhere until Gail sends her into the barricade to take over. Back in and Gail chokes away before getting two off a missile dropkick. Off to an Octopus Hold (AJ's Black Widow, even though the Octopus Hold is normally the name of a different hold entirely) but Flash counters into something resembling the Edgecator. Gail gets to the ropes and manages to kick Flash in the head to escape.
Flash goes nuts for a second and pounds away before taking Gail down with a Samoan drop. Some clotheslines put Gail down and Flash hits some rapid fire punches in the corner. Something like a curb stomp gets two and a missile dropkick gets the same for Alissa. A dragon screw leg whip puts Gail down but Alissa walks into Eat Defeat out of nowhere for the pin.
Video on Lei'D Tapa who has only been wrestling for two years now. She cries because her uncle, the Barbarian, is so proud of her. I think this is her Gut Check video. It still should have been Ivelisse.
We get Ivelisse's Gut Check video as well. Again, she has more experience, a better look, an MMA background (remember that the Gut Check with her and Tapa was around the time that Ronda Rousey was headlining a UFC show) and is very good looking, but she's not the Barbarian's niece so she has no future right?
Ivelisse vs. Lei'D Tapa
Tapa takes her down with ease and sends Ivelisse into the corner. Ivelisse gets all fired up and kicks Tapa back before a kick to the ribs sends Lei'D down. Tapa tries to sit down onto Ivelisse to block a sunset flip but only hits mat. A shot to the ribs takes Ivelisse down and a bad looking slam does the same. Ivelisse chops away but gets clotheslined back down followed by something like an AA for no cover.
Tapa chokes her down and pounds on Ivelisse's back some more but charges into a kick in the corner. A bad looking rana (since Tapa is a freaking giant) puts Tapa down to the floor and a BIG dive takes her down again. The fans are into Ivelisse, giving TNA even more proof that they screwed up. Back in and Ivelisse puts on a guillotine choke but Tapa swings her forward into a slam for the pin.
We get a clip from BFG 2012 where Tara won the Knockouts Title and introduced Jesse Godderz as her Hollywood boyfriend.
Tara brags about being awesome and Jesse acts like a jerk of course.
Tara vs. Mia Yim
Yim is another indy chick that I've never seen before. Tara shoves her down to start before going to chill next to Jesse. A hiptoss puts Mia down as the announcers ignore the match with one of their stupid conversations about nothing at all. Mia comes back with some hiptosses to send Tara to the floor and a missile dropkick sends her right back outside. We get another chase with Jesse grabbing Mia's leg to give Tara control.
Tara clotheslines her down for two but Mia Matrixes out of it in a nice counter. We hit the chinlock on Yim but she gets the knees up to block Tara's standing moonsault. Mia comes back with a bunch of kicks and a Lionsault gets no cover as Mia injures her ribs. Instead a German suplex gets two on Tara but a Jesse distraction causes Mia to miss a corkscrew splash. The Widow's Peak sends Tara to the battle royal.
Video on some campaign called Dare To Be, which is little more than a way to show a swimsuit photo shoot. Nothing wrong with that other than ODB. It basically turns into a music video with a lot of shots of a graphic for the Knockouts website.
Video of Tessmacher winning the Knockouts Title.
Miss Tessmacher vs. Santana
Santana Garrett is another indy chick who is rather good looking. Both girls pose on the corner to start with Tessmacher being more popular. Santana takes over with a quick clothesline and a Russian legsweep for two. Off to a Fujiwara Armbar on Tessmacher but she rolls through and kicks Santana in the head for two. Santana hits a low kick of her own for two and it's off to a freaky looking double arm submission.
Tess fires off a headbutt and avoids a middle rope cross body before a forearm puts Santana down. A Stinkface annoys Santana so she slams Tess down but a Tajiri handspring into a moonsault hits knees. The Tess Shocker (the belly to back suplex into a face plant) gets the pin on Santana in a quick match.
ODB says she's tough and doesn't care who she's fighting tonight. She's fighting Trinity and promises to out drink her.
Now, for more proof that these are a waste of time, here's the ENTIRE ODB and Eric Young wedding. Literally, they spent fifteen minutes showing us the ENTIRE SEGMENT. Are they that strapped for cash that they can't take one of the girls in the three way tonight and thrown a few hundred bucks at some indy chick to give her the biggest match of her career? Instead we get this entire thing which really has nothing to do with the Knockouts. It's a comedy angle that came and went and that's about it. Egads what a waste of time.
ODB vs. Trinity
Trinity still looks good. She talks trash to start so ODB rubs her crotch at Trinity to show how classy she is. A clothesline puts Trinity on the floor for our first move in a minute and a half. ODB follows her out and rams Trinity into the apron before a LOUD chop fires the crowd up a bit. ODB uses a handshake to pull Trinity into a clothesline but Trinity takes her down and stomps a bit. This is going nowhere. ODB keeps crawling towards her flask before coming back with another clothesline. She finally gets the flask and goes nuts with a bronco buster for two. The Bam is good for the pin on Trinity to finally end this.
Video on Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell, including their awesome last Knockout standing match.
Taryn Terrell vs. Jackie Moore
In case you've never heard my opinion on Moore, we'll keep it simple and say I wouldn't mind if she was trampled by stampeding camels. Why she keeps getting spots on shows is beyond me, but I'm sure she can shout really loudly and explain why, because shouting really loudly is just as good as anything else right?
Jackie pounds away but Taryn comes back with an elbow to the face. Terrell pounds away in the corner but Jackie slams her down and calls her Barbie. Some hair drags have Taryn down even more and we hit the chinlock. A back elbow drops Taryn for two and it's back to the chinlock. Back up and a double clothesline puts both girls down as the crowd isn't all that interested. Taryn fires off some clotheslines and gets two off a clothesline. A middle rope clothesline puts Jackie down and a spear gets two more. Taryn misses a middle rope bulldog and Jackie dropkicks her down for the pin. Just go with it.
Video on British Boot Camp to introduce us to the Blossom Twins.
Hannah Blossom is excited to be here even though her sister Holly is still in England.
Taeler Hendrix vs. Sojournor Bolt vs. Hannah Blossom
Hendrix was a Gut Check chick who got released, Bolt wrestled here for a bit a few years back and Blossom is a British blonde with a twin, both of whom wrestled in OVW for years before the Boot Camp show. Taeler looks great here. Before the match Bolt says since she's been gone, no one has been bigger, better or blacker. Bolt and Hendrix tease an alliance as the fans chant USA.
We get a three way test of strength to start with Blossom getting double teamed. A double hiptoss puts Hannah down and the argument begins between the friends. Hannah rams their heads together to take over, only to have Bolt take her down and grab a leg lock. Hendrix adds a chinlock at the same time to make the Brit scream. Taeler takes off her skirt to reveal some shorts, making the crowd love her even more.
Hendrix and Bolt chop it out as Taz and Tenay make stupid Twitter jokes. Bolt is sent to the floor so Hannah can take over on Taeler. Bolt pulls Hendrix to the floor and hits a Death Valley Driver for two on Blossom. Taeler and Bolt get in a shouting match before Bolt holds Hannah, only to have Taeler run Bolt over. A bicycle kick from Hannah takes Taeler down for the pin.
Another music video on the Knockouts.
Jillian Hall vs. Velvet Sky
You probably remember Jillian from her bad singing schtick in WWE which may or may not have been a Brooke Hogan parody. Jillian does the singing bit here which stopped being funny years ago. The fans are entirely behind Velvet as she accuses Jillian of a hair pull. Some forearms stagger Jillian and she charges into a boot in the corner.
Velvet sends her into the buckle over and over and spanks her for good measure. A bulldog gets two on Jillian but she sends Velvet out to the floor. Sky is sent into the steps so Jillian can ram her head into the mat a few times. A backbreaker gets two on Velvet as Taz shouts about Jillian fooling him or some nonsense like that.
Off to an arm crank from Hall before she stomps on Velvet's back a bit. Sky blocks a suplex and hits a kind of front DDT to put both girls down. Jillian takes over and pounds away but a clothesline is only good for two. Jillian's handspring elbow is countered into a victory roll but Hall drops down into a rollup for two (think Bret vs. Owen at WM X). Not that it matters as Velvet wins with In Yo Face a few seconds later.
Video on Mickie James' career in TNA, mainly focusing on beating Madison in a cage at Lockdown in about 30 seconds.
Serena vs. Mickie James
Serena is the chick who used to be in the Straightedge Society but now she has long hair which really works for her. I believe this is before Mickie's heel turn. They hug it out and shake hands to start. Taz: WHAT THE HECK IS THIS??? Serena takes her to the mat as Tenay and Taz talk about Lance Russell for no apparent reason. Mickie gets caught in a headscissors on the mat but she bounces out, giving the male fans some nice shots. After some nice mat work it's off to a wristlock by Serena leading to a standoff.
They shake hands again as Taz loudly shouts HARDCORE COUNTRY over and over. Mickie rides Serena on the mat a bit and Serena can't armdrag out of it. A Jackknife cover gets two for James and an Oklahoma Roll gets the same. Back up and Serena wants a test of strength but Mickie shouts that she has bigger hands than Serena. Mickie takes her down to the mat but Serena bridges up to take over. Now it's James with a bridge which Serena can't even break by bouncing down onto her.
Mickie fights up and hits a basement dropkick to send Serena to the floor as this is by far already the best match of the night so far. Back in and Serena offers another handshake but pulls Mickie into a headlock to take over. A back elbow sends Mickie to the floor just like she did to Serena a few seconds ago. Serena blasts Mickie in the face as she comes back in as we have our mid match heel turn. Mickie is slammed head first into the mat by the hair for two and Serena poses a lot.
We hit the chinlock as Taz scores the match for some reason. Back up and Serena misses a charge into the post and Mickie gets a needed breather. They slug it out with both girls throwing haymakers and Mickie taking over. A clothesline puts Deeb down and the top rope Thesz Press (minus the Press) sets up the MickieDT for the pin on Serena.
We recap the show so far to set up the gauntlet.
Gauntlet Match
So apparently it's the usual Royal Rumble style until we get to the final two where it's pin/submission for the win. All of the winners from earlier in the night are involved. Hannah Blossom and Gail Kim get us going for presumably two minutes. Gail goes right at Hannah to start and takes her down with a backbreaker. Some corner choking has the Brit in even more trouble as this is one sided so far. Hannah comes back with a quick suplex and an elbow drop for a cover before realizing how the rules work. Not that it matters as Gail knocks her to the apron and then the floor for the elimination.
Lei'D Tapa is #3 after about a minute and fifty seconds, though they probably sped it up for the sake of time. Either that or it's an actual gauntlet with the next person coming in after an elimination. Gail pounds on her in the corner to start but Tapa comes back with some power choking and a big boot to the face. Tapa can't get her out due to a rake of the eyes and here's Tara at #4. Tara goes after Lei'D but can't lift her up in a fireman's carry. Tapa takes her over to the ropes but Gail makes the same and the two normal sized girls double team the monster.
Mickie is #5 as Tapa beats on both other girls. James fires off kicks in the corner to the big girl and the other two help her out, only to be shoved away by Tapa. Tenay makes Andre the Giant comparisons and Taz goes off on him for stupidity, despite the comparison making sense. In a bad looking botch, Mickie tries a hurricanrana on Tapa with the other girls helping, only to see Mickie fall to the floor as well. She gets back in and it's never acknowledged but it looked horrible. Either way it eliminates Tapa as Tessmacher is in at #6.
Tessmacher goes after Tara as Mickie and Gail fight for the 1000th time. Gail is sent to the apron but gets back in as Tara sends Tessmacher to the apron for the same result. Jackie Moore is in at #7 to bring the match down a few pegs. Gail and Jackie stomp on Tessmacher and Mickie kicks at Tara in the corner. ODB is #8 as everyone is laying around. She and Jackie get into it almost immediately before ODB opts to spank Tara a bit. ODB takes a shot from the flash and spits it in Jackie's face before eliminating her.
Velvet Sky is #8, giving us a final grouping of Gail, ODB, Tara, Mickie, Tessmacher and Sky. Everyone pairs off as this is in full on traditional battle royal formula. Tessmacher kicks Mickie to the apron but can't get her any further than that. Velvet and ODB wind up on the apron and slug it out with Velvet knocking ODB to the floor for an elimination. Gail easily eliminates Velvet and we're down to four.
Gail and Tara throw Tessmacher out before double teaming James in the corner. Tara turns on Gail and hits the fireman's carry into the side slam, allowing Mickie to get back up and hammer on Tara a bit. Mickie throws Tara out to get us down to two, meaning it's Gail vs. Mickie, first fall wins. Gail is in early trouble and gets caught by the Thesz Press for two. Gail blocks the MickieDT but gets slammed out of the corner, injuring her ankle in the process. Mickie totally falls for it as the trainer comes out, but it's a ruse (SHOCKING!) as Gail rolls up Mickie with a handful of shorts for the pin and the Miss TNA crown.
Post match Madison comes out to give Gail her crown. Gail makes Madison leave after being crowned to end the show.
Results
Gail Kim b. Alissa Flash Eat Defeat
Lei'D Tapa b. Ivelisse Side Slam
Tara b. Mia Yim Widow's Peak
Miss Tessmacher b. Santana Tess Shocker
ODB b. Trinity Bam
Jackie Moore b. Taryn Terrell Dropkick
Hannah Blossom b. Taeler Hendrix and Sojourner Bolt Bicycle kick to Hendrix
Velvet Sky b. Jillian Hall In Yo Face
Mickie James b. Serena MickieDT
Gail Kim won a gauntlet match last eliminating Mickie James
Saturday
Tyson Kidd returned to the ring at last night's house show.
Sunday
Olympic wrestling will return in 2020.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
The Miz b. Fandango Figure Four
Ryback b. Dolph Ziggler Shell Shock
Prime Time Players b. 3MB Clash of the Titus to Mahal
Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes RKO
Natalya vs. Brie Bella vs. Naomi went to a no contest when AJ Lee interfered
Rob Van Dam b. Damien Sandow Five Star Frog Splash
Daniel Bryan b. Big Show via DQ when Shield interfered
NXT
Bayley/Charlotte b. Alicia Fox/Aksana Rollup to Fox
Corey Graves b. Rick Victor Small Package
Alexander Rusev b. Mason Ryan Camel Clutch
Jack Swagger b. Sami Zayn Patriot Lock
Impact Wrestling
Knux b. Chris Sabin via DQ when Sabin used a hammer
AJ Styles won a gauntlet match last eliminating Christopher Daniels
Wes Brisco/Garrett Bischoff b. James Storm/Gunner Bischoff pinned Gunner after hitting him with a chain
Sting b. Bully Ray Scorpion Deathlock
Smackdown
Randy Orton b. Rob Van Dam RKO
Ryback b. Dolph Ziggler Shell Shock
Kofi Kingston b. Curtis Axel SOS
Naomi vs. Brie Bella went to a double DQ when Layla, Alicia Fox and AJ Lee interfered
Real Americans b. Usos European Uppercut to Jey Uso
Big Show b. 3MB WMD to Slater
Daniel Bryan b. Seth Rollins Running knee to the head
Knockout Knockdown
Gail Kim b. Alissa Flash Eat Defeat
Lei'D Tapa b. Ivelisse Side Slam
Tara b. Mia Yim Widow's Peak
Miss Tessmacher b. Santana Tess Shocker
ODB b. Trinity Bam
Jackie Moore b. Taryn Terrell Dropkick
Hannah Blossom b. Taeler Hendrix and Sojourner Bolt Bicycle kick to Hendrix
Velvet Sky b. Jillian Hall In Yo Face
Mickie James b. Serena MickieDT
Gail Kim won a gauntlet match last eliminating Mickie James