klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Friday
Impact got a 1.1, down from last week.
Smackdown
Date: September 23, 2011
Location: Wright State University Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
We're in the Mark Henry Era here on Smackdown which is still weird to hear. It's 9 days before Hell in a Cell which is still stupid to hear as we're five days past the previous PPV. Orton has already said he's cashing in his rematch in the Cell which is a stretch but it's the only match they have given the circumstances. There isn't much else to say about this show so let's get to it.
Do you know your enemy? Mine is rain when you're supposed to be having a vacation.
We open with everyone at ringside and Johnny Ace in the ring, drawing a lot of boos. HHH isn't here tonight so he's brought out everyone to talk about the issues HHH has caused. He mentions the firings and says that he's changed his mind and HHH hasn't lost control. On Monday he saw determination in HHH's eyes so everything is cool. HHH will be here later.
Ace brings out Henry. Henry says it took him 15 years to win the title and he's not going to lose it for 15 more years. He calls out various people for not believing in him and here's HHH. Nice to see that they let Ace have a full assembly since HHH was five minutes late. Henry won't shake HHH's hand. Well to be fair he has the mic in one hand and the belt in the other. He does hand the boss the mic though.
Before the Game can say anything, here's Christian to interrupt. I guess he brought his own mic. He sucks up to HHH and says he appreciates how Smackdown has been treated. Christian talks about how he's more marketable than Henry. He asks if you can picture Henry's face on a box of cereal. I'd eat that. Christian asks for one more match and says you know who is going to choke in his match.
HHH talks about how he's in charge in a scary calm voice. Later on tonight there's going to be a lumberjack match with Christian vs. You Know Who (Voldermort?), presumably for the title with the winner facing Orton at Hell in a Cell. Shouldn't that be the other way around? Why does the champion have to qualify for the title match at the PPV? HHH leaves and Henry gets in Christian's face, sending the Canadian scampering.
Sheamus vs. Heath Slater
Cole calls it Ronald McDonald vs. the girl from Wendy's. My money is on the Burger King in a run-in. Sheamus pounds him down and hits those forearms to the chest in the ropes to a nice reaction. Slater fires back with a neckbreaker for two and pounds away a bit. He slaps Sheamus in the back of the head and I'll give you two guesses as to what happens next. Powerslam, top rope shoulder, Brogue Kick, 4:32.
Christian tries to get Khali's help in the title match later. After a big rant about how Khali would want to face a small person, Khali's response is you are small.
Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel
Booker calls Barrett a British nobleman and a former bare knuckle pugilist. Barrett beats Gabriel down quickly and the fans are almost silent. Gabriel avoids and shot and we head to the floor with Gabriel hitting a pretty sweet front flip dive over the top to take out Barrett. The kicks take Barrett down but he breaks up the 450 and Wasteland ends this at 2:32. That wasn't quite a squash but it was a pretty quick pin for Barrett.
Orton vs. Rhodes tonight....again.
Orton says he doesn't want to comment about Rhodes. He talks about going to hell in 9 days and when he comes back, he'll have the World Heavyweight Championship.
Video on how evil the Cell is.
Christian tries to recruit Big Zeke and insults him. Just like with Khali, Christian leaves thinking he has a partner.
Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. AJ/Kaitlyn
I forgot how good looking Kaitlyn can be. She starts with Nattie and this goes badly for Kaitlyn McBigboobs. Kaitlyn gets in a shot to Beth and brings in AJ who does a bit better. Shining Wizard gets two and everything breaks down. Beth is against someone not named Kelly though so the Glam Slam ends this at 2:04. More or less just a squash.
Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton
Cody is sent to the floor quickly by a fired up Orton. Orton has a bad left knee but because he's intelligent, he doesn't tape it up. Cody goes after it anyway so it wasn't successful but he tried at least. The knee goes around the post and Rhodes unhooks a buckle. Using the distraction Cody gets in a shot to the head with the mask for two. Orton clocks him with the mask at 3:28 for a DQ, even though it's been established that the mask is legal.
Post match Orton goes crazy and beats down Cody with his usual stuff. Now what you won't see is the ending of this beating. Orton pounded away on Cody with the mask and whatever else he could find. He hit Rhodes with the bell, and this was the result:
http://i52.tinypic.com/2mnorj9.jpg
From a friend that was at the show, that was hardway and the announce table was covered in blood.
Christian offers Sheamus a potato because he's Irish. It's a peace offering for Sheamus to help him later in the show. Christian offers him the first shot and Sheamus says Christian can count on him. Christian leaves and Sheamus bites into the potato and spits it out, saying it's from Idaho and not Ireland.
Great Khali vs. Jinder Mahal
Khali has the happy music back and gets a decent pop on his entrance. Mahal says lay down and Khali shakes his head no. The Plunge doesn't work and Mahal gets a DDT to take over. Khali fights back with clotheslines and the Plunge ends this at 2:05. This wasn't much.
Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan
This one has blonde hair so he's the real one. When they're near each other, the easiest way to tell is the fake one is taller. They shake hands so it's pretty clear that he's a good guy. We talk about how Bryan has fallen off a bit since winning MITB. He grabs a surfboard but Cara makes the rope. An enziguri puts Bryan down and Booker talks about how Cara has black marks on his boots. Josh says Booker said the same thing about the other one last week so Booker is a little confused.
Cara tries a Tajiri elbow and it looks like it's edited for a botch. Out to the floor with Cara hitting a rana off the apron to send Bryan into the steps. Back in and Cara goes up but is shoved off by...Sin Cara. The impostor kicks Bryan in the head and hits a bit Swanton Bomb for the pin at 3:00. That one had more torque on it than any one Jeff Hardy has done in years.
Christian knocks on Orton's door and Ryder comes out. The Canadian tries to recruit Ryder but he says it would be a conflict of interest. Ryder's phone rings and it's Hugh Jackman. Orton is in on...something. Christian leaves without knocking again.
Air Boom vs. Usos
Bourne starts with Jey (he has the chest tattoo) but it's off to Jimmy who hits a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Booker talks about being in Harlem Heat and Bourne gets beaten down as is his custom. Kofi gets the hot tag and hits the top rope chop but Jimmy sends him into the corner. The cross body hits and it's Trouble in Paradise time. Jey breaks it up, letting Jimmy hit a superkick to put Kofi down. Trouble in Paradise sets up Air Bourne for the pin at 3:30.
Raw ReBound eats up about three minutes and it's only about Ryder/Jackman/Ziggler.
Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Mark Henry
This is a lumberjack match for no apparent reason. At least two of the NXT rookies are at ringside plus Watson. Make that all three of them are there. Henry looks sad during Big Match Intros. The bell rings after a break and Christian wants to run but doesn't want to run at O'Neil, Kingston and Bryan. Christian can't do anything with Henry so Mark throws him to the floor. Big Zeke says for everyone to stay back then knees Christian in the ribs.
Henry throws Christian into the air like on a backdrop but lets Christian crash down. Off to the nerve hold and then a bear hug. Christian pounds away with all of the offense he can get in, culminating in a middle rope dropkick to put Henry down. He shoves Christian off with ease and Christian is scared. Killswitch is broken up and Christian tries the sunset flip out of the corner but Henry drops down, only to hit mat. They head to the floor and Henry shoves all the faces around when they jump on him. Christian tries to run but Sheamus pops up to throw him back in for the World's Strongest Slam to end things at 6:19.
Post match Orton comes out to fight Henry and dropkicks him to the floor to end the show.
Results
Sheamus b. Heath Slater Brogue Kick
Wade Barrett b. Justin Gabriel Wasteland
Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. AJ/Kaitlyn Glam Slam to AJ
Cody Rhodes b. Randy Orton via DQ when Orton hit Rhodes with the mask
Great Khali b. Jinder Mahal Punjabi Plunge
Air Boom b. The Usos Air Bourne to Jey
Mark Henry b. Christian World's Strongest Slam
Saturday
Ring of Honor
Date: September 24, 2011
Location: Frontier Fieldhouse, Chicago Ridge, Illinois
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness
This is the debut episode under the new owners of Sinclair Broadcasting and since I get the channel that it airs on, I'll be reviewing it weekly now. I won't be doing it live but it'll be up by the end of Saturday. This should be interesting as I've heard nothing but how great ROH is and now I can watch it. I'm not sure how great it'll be but maybe it's worth seeing. Anyway, I don't watch a ton of ROH but I know of it and follow it to a certain degree. Let's get to it.
Please keep in mind I haven't watched an ROH show in about a year so if I don't get a reference or miss something big, please bear with me.
The arena looks kind of small and it's dark like the old WCW arenas were but with better production values obviously.
Kevin Kelly welcomes us to the show and announces the main event of the show as being for the tag titles with Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team (Haas/Benjamin) defending against the Kings of Wrestling (both in WWE now). He also brings out the returning Nigel McGuinness (Desmond Wolfe) as the analyst. Nigel talks about how he's here for the boys in the back and how he wanted to be a part of this.
Adam Cole and Kyle O'Riley (Futureshock) says they're going to take over the tag division.
The Bravados (didn't catch their first names) say they're going to destroy Futureshock and parents shouldn't let their kids watch. These teams had a match before and one of the Bravados was injured so there's a story to this.
Futureshock vs. The Bravados
Both teams appear to be faces and the Bravados are Cherokees. Their names are Harlem and Lance and Kevin Kelly says their win/loss record isn't great. They're shaking hands to follow the Code of Honor (not defined here) and it's Adam vs. Harlem to start. Ok so Adam has the long hair. Got it. Futureshock uses some speed moves to take out Harlem and it breaks down quickly as Lance doesn't have much more success. They hook a weird move where the Bravados' legs are intertwined and both Futureshock guys hook armbars.
The Bravados make a blind tag (Kelly: He didn't see that one.) and take over on Cole. I have no idea which Bravado is which but one gets a Justin Bieber chant. Yeah he does look a bit like him and the pin spotted trunks and boots don't help. Ok Harlem looks like Bieber and Lance has long hair. Got it also. There's a Tweet of the Week which makes fun of Russo's booking by saying You should watch ROH because it's not 1997.
The Bravados hit a double team superkick/German suplex combo called Gentlemen's Choice for two. Adam tries to fight out of the corner and eventually rolls through to O'Riley. He's part of Team Richards, meaning he trains with Davey Richards, meaning I'm probably not going to like him at all. He uses a double dragon screw leg whip (he whips one Bravado and that Bravado whips his partner because letting go is too much of a stretch I guess) and a double dropkick takes the Bravados down for two.
Futureshock does a bunch of combo suplexes and Adam hits a suicide dive to take both Bravados out. A missile dropkick off the apron puts a Bravado down and top rope cross body gets two for both guys. They take out Harlem with something that has a name but I couldn't understand Kelly. It's Total Elimination but with a clothesline rather than a spin kick and it gets the pin at 7:20.
We get a report from Best in the World, a show back in I think June. Uh yeah....shouldn't we be seeing new stuff instead of clips from old shows? It focuses on a four team elimination match won by Haas/Benjamin and followed by a post match beatdown by the Briscos. Now we talk about the world title match where Davey Richards finally won the title by beating Eddie Edwards. Never been a fan of Richards and I don't think I'll start now. This eats up like 6 minutes, or 10% of the show.
Here's a segment called Inside Ring of Honor which explains the Code of Honor. Jim Cornette says that it's a self imposed code. The idea is you shake hands pre and post match as a show of respect etc. It's not mandatory but the guys that don't use it aren't that popular. In other words, take away the aspect of hatred for the sake of a Code and respect. That's the same issue that TNA has far too often and it gets old.
Jay Lethal vs. El Generico for the TV Title next week. Lethal says he tried to be someone else for years (Savage) but here it's about competition and not politics. He's taking the TV Title so he can get the respect of the fans.
Since it's been long enough since we've had an actual match, here's a second look at the elimination tag match. Is there a point to this? I mean, it's like an ad for the website/DVD instead of talking about the show itself. I don't get this. WE SAW THIS TEN MINUTES AGO. This is eating up like 5 more minutes. They do know they only have an hour a week right???
Nigel interviews a fan who says the champs will retain.
Tag Titles: Kings of Wrestling vs. Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team
Each time someone comes to the ring they get streamers thrown at them. It's annoying but I guess it's something to get used to. The Kings are Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli. The champs (Haas/Benjamin) took the belts from them after the Kings held them forever. This is the first match in 24 minutes, meaning 40% of this show had zero wrestling on it due to highlight packages. That would be like 48 minutes without wrestling on Raw. Oh wait WE HAVE A COMMERCIAL BEFORE THE BELL.
There's the bell and it's been 27 minutes since the last match ended, or 54 minutes in Raw time. Haas vs. Hero to start us off. How did a guy like Haas get Jackie Gayda? Off to Nigel quickly so maybe he started and I wasn't paying enough attention. Haas counters a few hip tosses and takes Claudio down with arm drags. This is match #4 in their series and the champs are 2-1 so far.
Blind tag brings in Benjamin and he hits a top rope clothesline to take over. Off to hero who gets caught in a small package for two. Hero sells a lot and things start to break down. Benjamin can't hit the dragon whip and the Kings take over with nefarious means. Benjamin is thrown outside and Hero hits a baseball slide to take him out again. We take a break and come back with Claudio holding a headlock and hitting a powerslam for two.
Benjamin tries the tag and hits Dragon Whip this time but Hero pulls Haas off the apron. Charlie comes in and lets Hero hit an elbow to the back of the head for two. Off to Hero (Claudio got the two) and Hero hits a senton backsplash for two. Benjamin counters a double suplex into a double neckbreaker and there's a leaping hot tag. Roaring Elbow by Hero is countered into a German and Claudio takes a T-Bone for two.
A rana and a big boot gets the same. Haas gets taken down and another elbow called the KTFO (you figure it out) gets two for Hero. Was there a tag there? The third spinning forearm/elbow (WE GET IT ALREADY) sets up a giant swing by Claudio as we go back to the 70s. The Kings set for their finisher (KRS 1) but it's broken up by Benjamin. A hot shot sets up the thing where Shelton jumps over Charlie to land on the other dude's back and a Hart Attack ends this at 16:48.
They're off the air at 2:58. We didn't even get the whole hour. WOW.
Results
Futureshock b. The Bravados Ride the Lightning to Harlem
Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team b. The Kings of Wrestling Wrestling's Greatest Finisher to Hero
Sunday
Nothing today.
Quick Results
Raw
Air Boom/Justin Gabriel/Sheamus b. Christian/Wade Barrett/David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty Celtic Cross to Otunga
Alberto Del Rio b. John Morrison Cross Armbreaker
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Natalya/Beth Phoenix Rollup to Natalya
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler Rough Ryder
John Cena/CM Punk b. Awesome Truth GTS to Miz
NXT
AJ b. Maxine Shining Wizard
Yoshi Tatsu b. Derrick Bateman via DQ with Tyson Kidd interfered
Darren Young/JTG b. Titus O'Neil/Percy Watson Gutbuster to O'Neil
Impact Wrestling
Mickie James b. Brooke Tessmacher Jumping DDT
Austin Aries b. Jesse Sorensen Rollup
Bully Ray/Jerry Lynn b. Mr. Anderson Chain to the throat
Kurt Angle vs. James Storm went to a no contest
Smackdown
Sheamus b. Heath Slater Brogue Kick
Wade Barrett b. Justin Gabriel Wasteland
Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. AJ/Kaitlyn Glam Slam to AJ
Cody Rhodes b. Randy Orton via DQ when Orton hit Rhodes with the mask
Great Khali b. Jinder Mahal Punjabi Plunge
Air Boom b. The Usos Air Bourne to Jey
Mark Henry b. Christian World's Strongest Slam
Ring of Honor
Futureshock b. The Bravados Ride the Lightning to Harlem
Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team b. The Kings of Wrestling Wrestling's Greatest Finisher to Hero
Impact got a 1.1, down from last week.
Smackdown
Date: September 23, 2011
Location: Wright State University Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
We're in the Mark Henry Era here on Smackdown which is still weird to hear. It's 9 days before Hell in a Cell which is still stupid to hear as we're five days past the previous PPV. Orton has already said he's cashing in his rematch in the Cell which is a stretch but it's the only match they have given the circumstances. There isn't much else to say about this show so let's get to it.
Do you know your enemy? Mine is rain when you're supposed to be having a vacation.
We open with everyone at ringside and Johnny Ace in the ring, drawing a lot of boos. HHH isn't here tonight so he's brought out everyone to talk about the issues HHH has caused. He mentions the firings and says that he's changed his mind and HHH hasn't lost control. On Monday he saw determination in HHH's eyes so everything is cool. HHH will be here later.
Ace brings out Henry. Henry says it took him 15 years to win the title and he's not going to lose it for 15 more years. He calls out various people for not believing in him and here's HHH. Nice to see that they let Ace have a full assembly since HHH was five minutes late. Henry won't shake HHH's hand. Well to be fair he has the mic in one hand and the belt in the other. He does hand the boss the mic though.
Before the Game can say anything, here's Christian to interrupt. I guess he brought his own mic. He sucks up to HHH and says he appreciates how Smackdown has been treated. Christian talks about how he's more marketable than Henry. He asks if you can picture Henry's face on a box of cereal. I'd eat that. Christian asks for one more match and says you know who is going to choke in his match.
HHH talks about how he's in charge in a scary calm voice. Later on tonight there's going to be a lumberjack match with Christian vs. You Know Who (Voldermort?), presumably for the title with the winner facing Orton at Hell in a Cell. Shouldn't that be the other way around? Why does the champion have to qualify for the title match at the PPV? HHH leaves and Henry gets in Christian's face, sending the Canadian scampering.
Sheamus vs. Heath Slater
Cole calls it Ronald McDonald vs. the girl from Wendy's. My money is on the Burger King in a run-in. Sheamus pounds him down and hits those forearms to the chest in the ropes to a nice reaction. Slater fires back with a neckbreaker for two and pounds away a bit. He slaps Sheamus in the back of the head and I'll give you two guesses as to what happens next. Powerslam, top rope shoulder, Brogue Kick, 4:32.
Christian tries to get Khali's help in the title match later. After a big rant about how Khali would want to face a small person, Khali's response is you are small.
Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel
Booker calls Barrett a British nobleman and a former bare knuckle pugilist. Barrett beats Gabriel down quickly and the fans are almost silent. Gabriel avoids and shot and we head to the floor with Gabriel hitting a pretty sweet front flip dive over the top to take out Barrett. The kicks take Barrett down but he breaks up the 450 and Wasteland ends this at 2:32. That wasn't quite a squash but it was a pretty quick pin for Barrett.
Orton vs. Rhodes tonight....again.
Orton says he doesn't want to comment about Rhodes. He talks about going to hell in 9 days and when he comes back, he'll have the World Heavyweight Championship.
Video on how evil the Cell is.
Christian tries to recruit Big Zeke and insults him. Just like with Khali, Christian leaves thinking he has a partner.
Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. AJ/Kaitlyn
I forgot how good looking Kaitlyn can be. She starts with Nattie and this goes badly for Kaitlyn McBigboobs. Kaitlyn gets in a shot to Beth and brings in AJ who does a bit better. Shining Wizard gets two and everything breaks down. Beth is against someone not named Kelly though so the Glam Slam ends this at 2:04. More or less just a squash.
Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton
Cody is sent to the floor quickly by a fired up Orton. Orton has a bad left knee but because he's intelligent, he doesn't tape it up. Cody goes after it anyway so it wasn't successful but he tried at least. The knee goes around the post and Rhodes unhooks a buckle. Using the distraction Cody gets in a shot to the head with the mask for two. Orton clocks him with the mask at 3:28 for a DQ, even though it's been established that the mask is legal.
Post match Orton goes crazy and beats down Cody with his usual stuff. Now what you won't see is the ending of this beating. Orton pounded away on Cody with the mask and whatever else he could find. He hit Rhodes with the bell, and this was the result:
http://i52.tinypic.com/2mnorj9.jpg
From a friend that was at the show, that was hardway and the announce table was covered in blood.
Christian offers Sheamus a potato because he's Irish. It's a peace offering for Sheamus to help him later in the show. Christian offers him the first shot and Sheamus says Christian can count on him. Christian leaves and Sheamus bites into the potato and spits it out, saying it's from Idaho and not Ireland.
Great Khali vs. Jinder Mahal
Khali has the happy music back and gets a decent pop on his entrance. Mahal says lay down and Khali shakes his head no. The Plunge doesn't work and Mahal gets a DDT to take over. Khali fights back with clotheslines and the Plunge ends this at 2:05. This wasn't much.
Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan
This one has blonde hair so he's the real one. When they're near each other, the easiest way to tell is the fake one is taller. They shake hands so it's pretty clear that he's a good guy. We talk about how Bryan has fallen off a bit since winning MITB. He grabs a surfboard but Cara makes the rope. An enziguri puts Bryan down and Booker talks about how Cara has black marks on his boots. Josh says Booker said the same thing about the other one last week so Booker is a little confused.
Cara tries a Tajiri elbow and it looks like it's edited for a botch. Out to the floor with Cara hitting a rana off the apron to send Bryan into the steps. Back in and Cara goes up but is shoved off by...Sin Cara. The impostor kicks Bryan in the head and hits a bit Swanton Bomb for the pin at 3:00. That one had more torque on it than any one Jeff Hardy has done in years.
Christian knocks on Orton's door and Ryder comes out. The Canadian tries to recruit Ryder but he says it would be a conflict of interest. Ryder's phone rings and it's Hugh Jackman. Orton is in on...something. Christian leaves without knocking again.
Air Boom vs. Usos
Bourne starts with Jey (he has the chest tattoo) but it's off to Jimmy who hits a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Booker talks about being in Harlem Heat and Bourne gets beaten down as is his custom. Kofi gets the hot tag and hits the top rope chop but Jimmy sends him into the corner. The cross body hits and it's Trouble in Paradise time. Jey breaks it up, letting Jimmy hit a superkick to put Kofi down. Trouble in Paradise sets up Air Bourne for the pin at 3:30.
Raw ReBound eats up about three minutes and it's only about Ryder/Jackman/Ziggler.
Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Mark Henry
This is a lumberjack match for no apparent reason. At least two of the NXT rookies are at ringside plus Watson. Make that all three of them are there. Henry looks sad during Big Match Intros. The bell rings after a break and Christian wants to run but doesn't want to run at O'Neil, Kingston and Bryan. Christian can't do anything with Henry so Mark throws him to the floor. Big Zeke says for everyone to stay back then knees Christian in the ribs.
Henry throws Christian into the air like on a backdrop but lets Christian crash down. Off to the nerve hold and then a bear hug. Christian pounds away with all of the offense he can get in, culminating in a middle rope dropkick to put Henry down. He shoves Christian off with ease and Christian is scared. Killswitch is broken up and Christian tries the sunset flip out of the corner but Henry drops down, only to hit mat. They head to the floor and Henry shoves all the faces around when they jump on him. Christian tries to run but Sheamus pops up to throw him back in for the World's Strongest Slam to end things at 6:19.
Post match Orton comes out to fight Henry and dropkicks him to the floor to end the show.
Results
Sheamus b. Heath Slater Brogue Kick
Wade Barrett b. Justin Gabriel Wasteland
Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. AJ/Kaitlyn Glam Slam to AJ
Cody Rhodes b. Randy Orton via DQ when Orton hit Rhodes with the mask
Great Khali b. Jinder Mahal Punjabi Plunge
Air Boom b. The Usos Air Bourne to Jey
Mark Henry b. Christian World's Strongest Slam
Saturday
Ring of Honor
Date: September 24, 2011
Location: Frontier Fieldhouse, Chicago Ridge, Illinois
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness
This is the debut episode under the new owners of Sinclair Broadcasting and since I get the channel that it airs on, I'll be reviewing it weekly now. I won't be doing it live but it'll be up by the end of Saturday. This should be interesting as I've heard nothing but how great ROH is and now I can watch it. I'm not sure how great it'll be but maybe it's worth seeing. Anyway, I don't watch a ton of ROH but I know of it and follow it to a certain degree. Let's get to it.
Please keep in mind I haven't watched an ROH show in about a year so if I don't get a reference or miss something big, please bear with me.
The arena looks kind of small and it's dark like the old WCW arenas were but with better production values obviously.
Kevin Kelly welcomes us to the show and announces the main event of the show as being for the tag titles with Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team (Haas/Benjamin) defending against the Kings of Wrestling (both in WWE now). He also brings out the returning Nigel McGuinness (Desmond Wolfe) as the analyst. Nigel talks about how he's here for the boys in the back and how he wanted to be a part of this.
Adam Cole and Kyle O'Riley (Futureshock) says they're going to take over the tag division.
The Bravados (didn't catch their first names) say they're going to destroy Futureshock and parents shouldn't let their kids watch. These teams had a match before and one of the Bravados was injured so there's a story to this.
Futureshock vs. The Bravados
Both teams appear to be faces and the Bravados are Cherokees. Their names are Harlem and Lance and Kevin Kelly says their win/loss record isn't great. They're shaking hands to follow the Code of Honor (not defined here) and it's Adam vs. Harlem to start. Ok so Adam has the long hair. Got it. Futureshock uses some speed moves to take out Harlem and it breaks down quickly as Lance doesn't have much more success. They hook a weird move where the Bravados' legs are intertwined and both Futureshock guys hook armbars.
The Bravados make a blind tag (Kelly: He didn't see that one.) and take over on Cole. I have no idea which Bravado is which but one gets a Justin Bieber chant. Yeah he does look a bit like him and the pin spotted trunks and boots don't help. Ok Harlem looks like Bieber and Lance has long hair. Got it also. There's a Tweet of the Week which makes fun of Russo's booking by saying You should watch ROH because it's not 1997.
The Bravados hit a double team superkick/German suplex combo called Gentlemen's Choice for two. Adam tries to fight out of the corner and eventually rolls through to O'Riley. He's part of Team Richards, meaning he trains with Davey Richards, meaning I'm probably not going to like him at all. He uses a double dragon screw leg whip (he whips one Bravado and that Bravado whips his partner because letting go is too much of a stretch I guess) and a double dropkick takes the Bravados down for two.
Futureshock does a bunch of combo suplexes and Adam hits a suicide dive to take both Bravados out. A missile dropkick off the apron puts a Bravado down and top rope cross body gets two for both guys. They take out Harlem with something that has a name but I couldn't understand Kelly. It's Total Elimination but with a clothesline rather than a spin kick and it gets the pin at 7:20.
We get a report from Best in the World, a show back in I think June. Uh yeah....shouldn't we be seeing new stuff instead of clips from old shows? It focuses on a four team elimination match won by Haas/Benjamin and followed by a post match beatdown by the Briscos. Now we talk about the world title match where Davey Richards finally won the title by beating Eddie Edwards. Never been a fan of Richards and I don't think I'll start now. This eats up like 6 minutes, or 10% of the show.
Here's a segment called Inside Ring of Honor which explains the Code of Honor. Jim Cornette says that it's a self imposed code. The idea is you shake hands pre and post match as a show of respect etc. It's not mandatory but the guys that don't use it aren't that popular. In other words, take away the aspect of hatred for the sake of a Code and respect. That's the same issue that TNA has far too often and it gets old.
Jay Lethal vs. El Generico for the TV Title next week. Lethal says he tried to be someone else for years (Savage) but here it's about competition and not politics. He's taking the TV Title so he can get the respect of the fans.
Since it's been long enough since we've had an actual match, here's a second look at the elimination tag match. Is there a point to this? I mean, it's like an ad for the website/DVD instead of talking about the show itself. I don't get this. WE SAW THIS TEN MINUTES AGO. This is eating up like 5 more minutes. They do know they only have an hour a week right???
Nigel interviews a fan who says the champs will retain.
Tag Titles: Kings of Wrestling vs. Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team
Each time someone comes to the ring they get streamers thrown at them. It's annoying but I guess it's something to get used to. The Kings are Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli. The champs (Haas/Benjamin) took the belts from them after the Kings held them forever. This is the first match in 24 minutes, meaning 40% of this show had zero wrestling on it due to highlight packages. That would be like 48 minutes without wrestling on Raw. Oh wait WE HAVE A COMMERCIAL BEFORE THE BELL.
There's the bell and it's been 27 minutes since the last match ended, or 54 minutes in Raw time. Haas vs. Hero to start us off. How did a guy like Haas get Jackie Gayda? Off to Nigel quickly so maybe he started and I wasn't paying enough attention. Haas counters a few hip tosses and takes Claudio down with arm drags. This is match #4 in their series and the champs are 2-1 so far.
Blind tag brings in Benjamin and he hits a top rope clothesline to take over. Off to hero who gets caught in a small package for two. Hero sells a lot and things start to break down. Benjamin can't hit the dragon whip and the Kings take over with nefarious means. Benjamin is thrown outside and Hero hits a baseball slide to take him out again. We take a break and come back with Claudio holding a headlock and hitting a powerslam for two.
Benjamin tries the tag and hits Dragon Whip this time but Hero pulls Haas off the apron. Charlie comes in and lets Hero hit an elbow to the back of the head for two. Off to Hero (Claudio got the two) and Hero hits a senton backsplash for two. Benjamin counters a double suplex into a double neckbreaker and there's a leaping hot tag. Roaring Elbow by Hero is countered into a German and Claudio takes a T-Bone for two.
A rana and a big boot gets the same. Haas gets taken down and another elbow called the KTFO (you figure it out) gets two for Hero. Was there a tag there? The third spinning forearm/elbow (WE GET IT ALREADY) sets up a giant swing by Claudio as we go back to the 70s. The Kings set for their finisher (KRS 1) but it's broken up by Benjamin. A hot shot sets up the thing where Shelton jumps over Charlie to land on the other dude's back and a Hart Attack ends this at 16:48.
They're off the air at 2:58. We didn't even get the whole hour. WOW.
Results
Futureshock b. The Bravados Ride the Lightning to Harlem
Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team b. The Kings of Wrestling Wrestling's Greatest Finisher to Hero
Sunday
Nothing today.
Quick Results
Raw
Air Boom/Justin Gabriel/Sheamus b. Christian/Wade Barrett/David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty Celtic Cross to Otunga
Alberto Del Rio b. John Morrison Cross Armbreaker
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Natalya/Beth Phoenix Rollup to Natalya
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler Rough Ryder
John Cena/CM Punk b. Awesome Truth GTS to Miz
NXT
AJ b. Maxine Shining Wizard
Yoshi Tatsu b. Derrick Bateman via DQ with Tyson Kidd interfered
Darren Young/JTG b. Titus O'Neil/Percy Watson Gutbuster to O'Neil
Impact Wrestling
Mickie James b. Brooke Tessmacher Jumping DDT
Austin Aries b. Jesse Sorensen Rollup
Bully Ray/Jerry Lynn b. Mr. Anderson Chain to the throat
Kurt Angle vs. James Storm went to a no contest
Smackdown
Sheamus b. Heath Slater Brogue Kick
Wade Barrett b. Justin Gabriel Wasteland
Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. AJ/Kaitlyn Glam Slam to AJ
Cody Rhodes b. Randy Orton via DQ when Orton hit Rhodes with the mask
Great Khali b. Jinder Mahal Punjabi Plunge
Air Boom b. The Usos Air Bourne to Jey
Mark Henry b. Christian World's Strongest Slam
Ring of Honor
Futureshock b. The Bravados Ride the Lightning to Harlem
Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team b. The Kings of Wrestling Wrestling's Greatest Finisher to Hero