klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 31, 2017
Location: PPG Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.
We’re in Kurt Angle country tonight and it’s already a stacked show. As announced last week, we’ll be seeing Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman vs. Samoa Joe in a triple threat match, along with Jason Jordan appearing on MizTV. If that’s not enough for you, Brock Lesnar is here too. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of last week’s announcement of the four way for the Universal Title at Summerslam.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Angle for the hero’s welcome to open the show. Angle is glad to be here and runs down tonight’s card. On a more personal note, it’s twenty one years to the day that he won an Olympic gold medal WITH A BROKEN FREAKING NECK. He wouldn’t be here without any of us and he thanks the fans before leaving….and here’s Lesnar.
Heyman knows what Angle is up to and sees the “angle” that he’s playing here. Kurt has to get the title from Lesnar so he put him into a four way with the most stacked heavyweight division in WWE history. There’s the power of Strowman, the Undertaker slaying Reigns and the Samoan disgrace, the latter of whom Heyman thinks Angle favors.
Angle’s bosses want to make sure that Lesnar loses the title so all three of the challenges are going to beat him down at once. Heyman thinks Angle has been told to pay the “ultimate” price so how about this: if Lesnar loses the title, he and Heyman are both gone from WWE. It won’t matter because Lesnar is going to be winning at Summerslam, whether Angle likes it or not.
Hardys vs. Anderson and Gallows
Revival is on commentary as we hear about the three way feud between these teams. Apparently Matt has been calling Dash an obsolete mule on Twitter. The brothers start in on Karl’s arm with a variety of wristlock. House is quickly cleaned and Poetry in Motion to Gallows sends us to an early break.
Back with Jeff Twist of Fating his way out of trouble but Anderson breaks up the slowest crawl to a corner ever. Karl misses a charge though and Matt gets the hot tag to clean house. Another Twist is broken up and Gallows kicks Matt in the back of the head. Dash: “See, we would never fall for that.” The Magic Killer is broken up and the Twist into the Swanton puts Gallows away at 9:09.
Post match the Hardys get in a brawl with the Revival. Anderson and Gallows come up to the stage as well, only to have all four villains sent to the floor for a big dive from Jeff.
Renee Young asks Dean Ambrose if he’s getting back together with Seth Rollins. Ambrose isn’t sure but Rollins come up. Dean says the people might want it and even Dean does to a degree, but he’s not getting burned again.
Post break Sheamus and Cesaro laugh at Seth for having no friends. He could even star in his own episode of Ride Along. Seth challenges either of them for tonight and Sheamus accepts.
Rich Swann/Cedric Alexander/Akira Tozawa vs. TJP/Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese
Only Tozawa gets an entrance. Cedric headscissors Nese around to start and snatches Ariya in an armdrag. Tozawa comes in and adds a backsplash but Ariya goes after the bad arm to take over. Back with Daivari holding the bad arm in an armbar for a bit until the diving tag brings in Swann. House is cleaned and everything breaks down with Alexander and Swann busting out stereo dives to put Nese and Daivari down. Tozawa adds one of his own, leaving Swann to trade rollups with TJP. A big kick to the head sets up Tozawa’s top rope backsplash for the pin at 8:48.
It’s time for MizTV with the Miztourage out in full. Jason Jordan is brought out as the guest but Miz keeps cutting him off to ask about the fans booing Jordan. Jason says he’s ok with the booing because he’s just going to keep going. Miz likes the attitude and offers him a spot in the Miztourage. Jordan says thanks but he’s good. We hear Miz’s resume but Jordan passes again. That’s cool with Miz, who thinks Jordan is cool with his dad handing him everything.
Jason would rather be chewed up and spit out than be associated with someone like Miz. That’s not cool with Miz, who doesn’t have to latch on to a different Olympian every week or rely on someone who was given a job out of pity. Jordan gets in Miz’s face over the Kurt insults but Miz calls off the Miztourage. A charge at Jason is countered into a belly to belly, sending Miz straight into the Miztourage and Jordan bailing before he gets destroyed.
Good but not great stuff here from Jason, who is still finding his rhythm with the talking. Having him hit the one suplex and bail is a good idea as him cleaning house wouldn’t have made the most sense. I could live with him winning the title, though a clean win over Miz would be a big stretch at this point.
Roman says tonight is about sending a message. No matter what those two do, the Big Dog isn’t going anywhere. He’s the only one who can beat Lesnar and tonight he’s going to prove it.
Sheamus vs. Seth Rollins
Seth’s music now features a voice screeching BURN IT DOWN. Just….no. I didn’t like the song in the first place and that makes it even worse. Sheamus headlocks him down to start as the announcers compare their careers. A Cesaro distraction sends Seth outside though and Sheamus posts him to take us to an early break.
Back with Sheamus hitting a super Regal Roll for two, only to get sent face first into the middle buckle. An enziguri knocks Sheamus to the floor and there’s the suicide dive. The Sling Blade sets up….a shot to knock Cesaro off the apron, followed by a rollup to put Sheamus away at 8:30.
The beatdown is on with Rollins being left laying. Ambrose FINALLY comes out for the save but takes a beating as well. Ambrose tells them to bring it so Cesaro beats him down some more.
Samoa Joe says he’s been putting people to sleep for twenty years and that’s what he’ll do to Brock at Summerslam.
Video on a Special Olympian.
Here’s Bray Wyatt for a chat. There is no escape for anyone, including Finn Balor. Everyone is held down by humanity’s shackles, doing everything they can to deal with pain. You can’t hide from him though because Bray Wyatt is everywhere. He’s right there when the honest man tries to validate stealing and he’s right there when everyone declares themselves as part of the Balor Club.
It’s a sickness that makes everyone think their life can be special. People think they can be like Balor and rise from the ashes but Bray sees Balor as the shell that he’s always been. Bray laughs at this I CAN DO IT attitude and here’s Balor, who appears behind Wyatt in the ring. Wyatt laughs at this as Balor poses with his back to Bray. An enziguri drops Bray to the floor and the brawl is on in a hurry. A dropkick sends Bray into the crowd and Balor stands tall without even taking off his jacket.
Strowman isn’t like most men because he breaks things when he doesn’t like people. Tonight he’s turning Reigns into a pile of broken bones.
Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman vs. Samoa Joe
Strowman starts running both of them over in the early going, sending both of them out to the floor. Back with Strowman missing a charge and getting kicked in the head for his efforts. Joe kicks Strowman in the head and gets in a fight with Roman, who he pulls down into a Fujiwara armbar. The fight heads outside for a bit with Joe grabbing the Koquina Clutch on Strowman over the barricade.
Strowman is almost out but Joe lets go to fight Reigns inside. The Rock Bottom is broken up and Reigns loads up the Superman Punch, only to have Joe roll outside in a smart move. That’s fine with Roman who hits the Superman Punch off the steps but Strowman is back up to block a spear with a big boot. Strowman LAUNCHES Reigns from the floor back inside but Joe gets in another kick.
The steps are put inside as Joe grabs the Clutch on Roman with Strowman making the save. There’s the powerslam for two on Joe as Reigns has to make a save this time. Strowman is back up with the steps but a Superman Punch knocks them away. The steps knock Strowman outside and the spear ends Joe at 14:38.
We recap Big Cass vs. Big Show.
Enzo comes in to see Show and apologizes for getting him into this. Show says Cass needs to learn a lesson and he can teach that.
Here’s Elias (yes just Elias now), who happens to be a hometown boy. He grew up here and it was the people of Pittsburgh that inspired him to write this song. Of course it rips on the town and its sports teams until Kalisto cuts him off for a match.
Elias vs. Kalisto
Elias starts fast and throws Kalisto to the floor for a break about a minute in because THAT’S HOW EVERY MATCH HAS TO GO NOW. Back with Elias holding a chinlock and booting Kalisto square in the mask. We hit an over the back backbreaker before Elias just drops him down. Kalisto gets in a few kicks and a springboard seated senton sets up the hurricanrana driver. He might have hurt his back though and it’s a quick swinging neckbreaker (Drift Away) to give Elias the pin at 8:13.
Alexa Bliss mocks Sasha Banks for the loss to Bayley last week. Banks isn’t here tonight so there’s no one to help Bayley against Nia Jax.
Rollins comes in to thank Ambrose for what he did but Dean still doesn’t buy it. He knows Rollins wouldn’t have done the same for him and walks off.
Bayley vs. Nia Jax
Nia throws her to the apron but Bayley slips back in and scores with a shot to the jaw. That just earns her a headbutt and an attempt at a powerslam. Nia slams her down hard and throws her outside for, say it with me, a break a little over a minute in. Back with Nia grabbing a double chickenwing and dropping Bayley flat on her face.
With Bayley on the floor, Nia throws her hair up in a side pony tail for a somewhat odd look. Bayley’s arm is banged up but she’s able to fight back with a bulldog and a dropkick. Another dropkick puts Nia on the floor and there’s a crossbody from the apron. Cue Alexa for a failed distraction though and Nia goes into the steps for the countout at 8:39.
The problem though is instead of having her be the fallen hero who has to fight her way back to the top, she just started winning again and is suddenly in a huge match at a major show. Characters aside, that’s poor storytelling. Outside of some videos on YouTube, we didn’t ever hear Bayley talking about how she had to rise back up the card or how she had to get back to her roots or how devastated she was. It’s Point A to Point D or so with nothing in between and that doesn’t work.
Big Cass is ready to teach Show a lesson.
We recap MizTV.
Big Cass vs. Big Show
Before the match, Enzo says he’d rather eat a banana peel before he associates with Cass again. Show jumps Cass during the entrances and hammers away, including the loud chop in the corner. Cass can’t whip him so Show sends him outside instead. It’s too late for a break though so an elbow drop gives Show two. Cass starts taking out the leg though and it’s off to a leglock. A big boot to the jaw just seems to wake Show up though and he chops Cass out of the air. Another big boot drops Show….and Enzo comes in for the DQ at 5:07.
Post match Cass throws Enzo down but walks into the KO Punch to end the show.
Results
Hardys b. Anderson and Gallows – Swanton Bomb to Gallows
Rich Swann/Akira Tozawa/Cedric Alexander b. TJP/Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese – Top rope backsplash to TJP
Seth Rollins b. Sheamus – Rollup
Roman Reigns b. Samoa Joe and Braun Strowman – Spear to Joe
Elias b. Kalisto – Drift Away
Bayley b. Nia Jax via countout
Big Cass b. Big Show via DQ when Enzo Amore interfered
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: August 1, 2017
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s one heck of a big show tonight as we have two major matches announced in advance (which thankfully seems to be a bit more of a trend lately). Tonight it’s AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens for the US Title but the big match is an actual dream match between Shinsuke Nakamura and John Cena for the Smackdown World Title shot at Summerslam. Let’s get to it.
The opening video looks at the setup of both matches.
US Title: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens
Owens is challenging and sends AJ into the corner to start. The drop down into a dropkick is blocked and a forearm to the back of the head knocks Styles outside. Owens is right there after him with a clothesline for a break because that’s what Raw does and if one show does it, the other has to as well.
Back with AJ hitting a dropkick and dropping the knee to the face for two. A suplex is good for one and AJ stomps away in the corner, which isn’t very common for him. The threat of the Phenomenal Forearm sends Owens to the floor so AJ hits one out there instead. Owens sends him into the barricade for a Cannonball though and we go to another break. Back with AJ hitting the fireman’s carry neckbreaker but the Styles Clash is countered with a backdrop.
A superkick gives Owens two more but he has to use a headbutt to break up the Calf Crusher. AJ is right back with a Pele and grabs the hold again in the middle of the ring, sending Owens crawling over to the ropes for another break. Owens nails two more superkicks but misses a punch and “hits” the referee by mistake. The Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into a rollup for the pin at 16:49, even though Owens had his shoulder WAY up, which JBL and Tom loudly point out.
In the back, the bosses are checking on the referee and saying that was a mistake. Owens comes storming in and yells a lot with a very orange Shane McMahon saying Owens needs to respect the referee. There’s going to be a rematch at Summerslam with Shane as the guest referee. Owens calls Shane the most incompetent of them all.
We look back at the Usos beating down New Day last week.
Here are the Usos with Jimmy doing Big E.’s signature entrance. The Usos are the reasons New Day isn’t here because they’re not grown men riding a tricycle throwing out fake cereal. They’re be taking the titles and the catchphrase because U-SO ROCKS.
It’s time for the Fashion Files, or Fashion Peaks in this case. Tyler Breeze is on his own in a suit talking about how Fandango has been kidnapped, perhaps by extraterrestrials, and wondering why he’s recording this message instead of just calling the person he’s recording it for.
The lights dim and here’s Fandango, seemingly in a trance. The Ascension are next to him and pour syrup on what looks like a big piece of bread. Fandango stings himself on a rose and the three laugh as Breeze shouts about not understanding any of this. Breeze: “NO MORE METAPHORS!” And of course it’s a dream sequence with Breeze waking up next to some pastries. Breeze knows who kidnapped him.
Sami Zayn vs. Aiden English
English sings his way to the ring. A wristlock has Sami in some very early trouble but he’s right back up and spins English down into an armbar. English turns that into a rollup though and gets the completely clean pin at 1:59.
Both English and Zayn are stunned but here are the Kannellises to say they love Sami losing.
Becky Lynch/Naomi vs. Natalya/Carmella
Natalya and Becky fight over arm control to start with Lynch possibly tweaking her knee coming out of the corner (she tweaked it last week too but seemed fine coming into the match). Naomi comes in and takes Natalya down for a very big legdrop. It’s off to Carmella, in a James Ellsworth shirt, for a slap to Naomi’s face. Naomi actually gets caught in the wrong corner and a hard spinebuster from Natalya sets up the Sharpshooter. She makes it over to the ropes so Carmella comes in for the Code of Silence, which is quickly countered into Naomi’s reverse Rings of Saturn for the tap at 3:57.
Jinder Mahal is sick of xenophobia and doesn’t care if he’s facing the American or the man from Japan. No one can end his reign so it really doesn’t matter.
Rusev vs. Chad Gable
Gable can’t take him down to start and gets thrown outside without too much effort. Back in and Gable gets him down this time before starting in on the knee. That earns Chad a knee to the chest though and a gutwrench suplex takes us to a break. Back with Gable hitting a German suplex followed by a moonsault for two.
Rusev is slow to get up so Gable tries Rolling Chaos Theory. That’s quickly countered though and Rusev kicks him in the head for two. I’d have bet on that for the pin. The Accolade is broken up and Gable grabs an ankle lock, which is eventually kicked off to send Gable outside. Back in and Rusev eats the superkick, setting up the Accolade for the tap at 9:03.
Rusev says he wants competition (please ban that line already) and knows he can’t be beaten. He wants an opponent for Summerslam….and here’s Randy Orton for a staredown. Orton can’t get in the ring so he grabs the mic and says if he were Rusev, he wouldn’t want Orton in the ring either. Rusev takes a step back so Orton gets in and the match is set. Rusev rants in Bulgarian and eats an RKO for his efforts. These two have never actually had a singles match so it’s a genuinely fresh match.
We look at the ending of Styles vs. Owens again.
John Cena vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
The winner gets Mahal, who is watching from a sky box, at Summerslam. Nakamura wastes no time in sending him into the corner for the head on the chest with the arm shakes. Cena gets taken into the corner for Good Vibrations as John doesn’t know what to do with him yet. Another attempt at Good Vibrations is countered as Cena lifts the boot (You could say he’s picking up good vibrations.) and grabs a belly to belly to take us to a break.
Back with Nakamura winning a slugout with a spinning kick to the head. More kicks stagger Cena and the running knee to the ribs gets two. Cena tries his finishing sequence but gets reversed into an attempt at an armbar. Nakamura settles for a triangle choke which is reversed with a powerbomb. The STF is countered into a cross armbreaker which is turned into a rollup for two.
Cena’s big running clothesline that he uses when he needs to get out of trouble gets him out of trouble but Nakamura is right back up with the sliding knee. An AA gives Cena two and we get a triple reaction shot, including one that is shown again while we see the replay. Another AA is countered into a guillotine choke but Cena powers up into a second AA. Cena isn’t done yet and tries a third, only to be reversed into the reverse Exploder. Kinshasa sends Nakamura to Summerslam at 13:19.
Cena raises Nakamura’s hand so posing can end the show.
Results
AJ Styles b. Kevin Owens – Rollup
Aiden English b. Sami Zayn – Rollup
Becky Lynch/Naomi b. Natalya/Carmella – Reverse Rings of Saturn to Carmella
Rusev b. Chad Gable – Accolade
Shinsuke Nakamura b. John Cena – Kinshasa
Wednesday
NXT
Date: August 2, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson
With just over two weeks to go to before Takeover: Brooklyn III, it’s time to get some things moving. We already have a lot of the card set so now we can focus on building up what’s already announced and set up some other stuff. Tonight the main focus seems to be on Aleister Black, who currently doesn’t have a match for the big show. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Johnny Gargano vs. Raul Mendoza
Johnny comes out to the old DIY music and video but stops so they can both change to Gargano versions. Gargano takes him to the mat with a front facelock into a headlock but Mendoza nips up and gets two off a rollup. That earns Raul a superkick to the jaw and Johnny starts in on the arm. Mendoza gets in a dropkick for two of his own, only to miss a springboard and eat the spear through the ropes. Raul hits an enziguri and goes up but dives right into the modified Crossface for the tap at 4:13.
We look at last week’s brawl between Sanity and the Authors of Pain. The title match is official for Brooklyn.
Paul Ellering says the Authors will write the chapter at Brooklyn. Until then though, be prepared because the monsters are real.
Here’s Asuka with something to say. As usual, she keeps it very simple by saying she’s beaten Ember Moon before and Ember isn’t ready to face her again. Cue Moon, to say she knows that she’s ready, just as Asuka knows. Asuka offers the handshake but slaps Ember instead. The fight is on with Ember getting in some right hands but eating a kick to to the face. Asuka poses with the title….and turns right into the Eclipse to knock her cold. Ember won’t pick up the title, saying she’ll touch it when she earns it. Good segment here with Asuka putting the Eclipse over huge.
Bobby Roode talks about proving that he’s a better man than Roderick Strong but of course Roderick wants to play the lottery again. As for Drew McIntyre, Bobby is more than willing to have a chat with him in the ring next week. Roode goes to leave when Strong charges in for a fight. William Regal and security break it up with Strong saying he’ll do anything to face Roode. Regal says his hands are tied because the match is made.
The Street Profits are here next week.
Sonya Deville vs. Jenna Van Bimmel
Sonya offers to let the much bigger Jenna have some free shots but does some head faking to avoid them. A hard clothesline sets up some knees to the ribs have Jenna in trouble as this is looking squashish. Jenna hits a charge in the corner but gets pulled down into a triangle choke for the tap at 2:06.
Hideo Itami is tired of not being respected so he’s not going to respect anyone. He rants in Japanese and ignores a need to go back to the arena. Instead he steals the mic and walks into the arena, saying he deserves respect. He doesn’t care who’s next but it’s Aleister Black cutting him off. After the long entrance, Itami goes to leave but tries a sneak attack. That goes bad for him though Black Mass drops Itami with one shot. Black just sitting there staring at Itami’s unconscious body is great stuff.
Kyle O’Reilly vs. Aleister Black
This is Kyle’s debut. Nigel: “HE’S HERE TOO!” Feeling out process to start and they fight over some grappling. Some striking doesn’t last long and they go back to the grappling with Kyle not being able to get a triangle choke. A chinlock is countered into a hammerlock as Mauro is trying to get in every MMA reference he can.
Back up and a spinning legsweep into the sitting pose has Kyle in trouble as we take a break. It’s not much better for Kyle when we come back as Aleister kicks him square in the chest for two. Black charges into a boot to the jaw though and Kyle snaps off some kicks of his own.
Kyle grabs a leglock on the mat and it’s a slap off until Black finally gets out. Black blocks a cross armbreaker so Kyle settles for a hammerlock and knees to the arm. Back from a second break with Black telling Kyle to hit him and grabbing a snap suplex for two. Kyle snaps the throat across the top though and it’s right back to another arm hold.
Black kicks him in the head to escape and gets two off a Lionsault press. A second attempt is blocked with a kick to the leg though and a big forearm to the back of the head gets two on Black. Aleister fires off more strikes but charges into a jumping knee. Not that it matters as Black Mass puts Kyle away at 22:56.
Results
Johnny Gargano b. Raul Mendoza – Crossface
Sonya Deville b. Jenna Van Bimmel – Triangle choke
Aleister Black b. Kyle O’Reilly – Black Mass
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: August 3, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash
The battle for Mexican pride continues as Alberto El Patron’s feud with LAX is still going. Last week saw the Veterans of War save El Patron from a post match beatdown, because he just wasn’t beating the group badly enough yet. I’m really not sure what the end game of this is but LAX could use a top guy in a hurry. Let’s get to it.
Konnan promises a new member of LAX tonight and says there’s a new level of violence coming.
Long recap of the Super X Cup as tonight will see the finals set.
Super X Cup Semifinals: Dezmond Xavier vs. Dragon
They run the ropes to start with Drago hitting a dropkick for two. Back up and both guys miss a few strikes until Xavier grabs a running hurricanrana for two of his own. Drago sends him outside for a suicide dive and we take a break. We come back with both guys hitting kicks to the head to put both of them down.
Back up and it’s another double knockdown, followed by Desmond picking things WAY up and headscissoring him out to the floor for a bit flip dive. Drago hits a superkick back inside, followed by a top rope Orton DDT for two. A Batista Bomb gives Drago the same and stereo strikes put both guys down again. Back up and Drago gets two off a rollup, only to have Xavier hit a 619 around the post. The Final Flash sends Xavier to the finals at 15:18.
Ethan Carter III says he’s a hot commodity and is ready to win the Grand Championship because he’s in Moose’s head. He’ll win no matter what stupid judges he has to deal with, even if it’s Bruce Prichard.
We recap Bobby Lashley vs. Matt Sydal, who meet at Destination X.
The Patron family is ready to face LAX tonight but Alberto thinks one of them might join the team. Alberto thinks that his brother might have turned as he and Konnan are friends. An argument breaks out so here’s Karen Jarrett to say family is important. Bruce comes in to say he’s got this and asks to talk to Karen alone.
Mumbai Cat vs. Trevor Lee
Lee is still wrestling in the belt. Cat is sent outside early on and we get a switch with another masked man who was underneath the ring. The second Cat (let’s call him Sonjay, just for a name) takes Lee down with some clotheslines and a superkick, followed by a tornado DDT. The top rope splash ends Lee at 1:38.
Of course it’s Sonjay and here’s Bruce to complain (and to get his quota of screen time). Sonjay tells him to hang on and says he’s still the champ. We’ll have a ladder match for the title in two weeks at Destination X.
Video on Lashley’s MMA training.
Joseph Park tells Grado to focus on his match tonight and he’ll have Laurel Van Ness ready for the wedding later. His grandmother told him something he’ll never forget for situations like this. He can’t come up with it right off hand but it was great.
Eli Drake vs. Eddie Edwards
Hang on as Eddie has been attacked by Kongo Kong. No match.
Post break Laurel is shouting at Kong as he beats up Richard Justice (the designated wrestler from last week).
Grand Championship: Ethan Carter III vs. Moose
Moose is defending and Bruce Prichard, Scott D’Amore and Dutch Mantel are the judges. Some early chops and a toss across the ring have Ethan in early trouble but Moose misses a charge into the steps. Carter hammers away and tells Bruce to SCORE THAT. Back in and Carter sits down on Moose’s back as the first round ends. Carter wins the first round and sends Moose face first into the apron to start round two.
We hit a quickly broken chinlock before Moose fights up with the running charges in the corner. A hesitation dropkick has Carter reeling and the round ends. Moose wins round two and after a break, throws Carter to the floor to start the third round. A bicycle kick gives Moose two and a Low Down from the corner gets the same. Neither finisher can hit but the second attempt at the 1%er connects for two.
Moose blocks the ECD and hits a sitout chokeslam as time expires at 9:00. Carter wins via split decision (two ties) with Prichard giving him the winning vote with a score of 10-8. This is billed as controversial, which is true considering Moose dominated the third round save for the 1%er.
OVE (the Crist Brothers) debut at Destination X.
KM/Mario Bokara/Fallah Bahh vs. Suicide/Braxton Sutter/Grado
International six man tag, meaning “here’s a bunch of people to fill time”. The bad guys are knocked into the corner and it’s time for some dancing. Bahh’s bare feet take a few stomps to send him outside but the dive is broken up. Back in and Bahh rolls over Grado but Grado slugs away for his comeback. Everything breaks down and Grado school boys KM for the pin at 3:41.
Post match Park brings out Laurel for the proposal but Kongo Kong comes in and destroys Grado. Sutter leaves as Park gets Grado out of the ring before the top rope splash can hit.
Konnan tells “random white girl number five” that violence is about to come to the Patron family.
Ethan Carter III comes out to brag about being the grandest champion of them all. He’s now in love with his title and gives it a kiss before asking if it wants to get out of here. As usual, Carter is one of the most entertaining things on this show.
LAX vs. El Hijo de Dos Caras/Dos Caras/Alberto El Patron
Caras (sixty six years old) starts with Homicide and pulls him down into a rollup for no count as the shoulder is up. Chops knock Homicide into the corner and it’s off to Hijo for a suicide dive as we take a break. Back with Alberto hitting a basement dropkick for no count, allowing LAX to get in a few cheap shots to take over.
Santana’s chinlock keeps things slow and it’s off to Ortiz with a slam. Alberto crotches him on top though and the not hot tag brings in Hijo for a high crossbody. Santana crotches Hijo on top as well and LAX takes over again. A superplex gives Ortiz two and the triple teaming begins.
Santana misses an elbow though and the hot tag brings in Alberto to clean house. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Homicide as everything breaks down. Hijo misses a dive and it’s Santana getting caught in the ropes for the top rope double stomp. No cover though as we have a ref bump, leaving no one to see Ortiz tap to the armbreaker.
Hijo comes in with a chair and takes out Homicide to prove his loyalty to his brother. Santana gets caught in another armbreaker but here’s Low Ki in an LAX jacket with a Warrior’s Way to Alberto. The announcers freak out as Santana gets the pin on El Patron at 16:48.
The announcers treat this as LAX becoming invincible because they have the memories of a WWE Creative staff member.
Results
Dezmond Xavier b. Drago – Final Flash
Mumbai Cat b. Trevor Lee – Top rope splash
Ethan Carter III b. Moose via split decision
Suicide/Braxton Sutter/Grado b. KM/Mario Bokara/Fallah Bass – Rollup to KM
LAX b. Alberto El Patron/El Hijo de Dos Caras/Dos Caras – Warrior’s Way to El Patron
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Hardys b. Anderson and Gallows – Swanton Bomb to Gallows
Rich Swann/Akira Tozawa/Cedric Alexander b. TJP/Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese – Top rope backsplash to TJP
Seth Rollins b. Sheamus – Rollup
Roman Reigns b. Samoa Joe and Braun Strowman – Spear to Joe
Elias b. Kalisto – Drift Away
Bayley b. Nia Jax via countout
Big Cass b. Big Show via DQ when Enzo Amore interfered
Smackdown
AJ Styles b. Kevin Owens – Rollup
Aiden English b. Sami Zayn – Rollup
Becky Lynch/Naomi b. Natalya/Carmella – Reverse Rings of Saturn to Carmella
Rusev b. Chad Gable – Accolade
Shinsuke Nakamura b. John Cena – Kinshasa
NXT
Johnny Gargano b. Raul Mendoza – Crossface
Sonya Deville b. Jenna Van Bimmel – Triangle choke
Aleister Black b. Kyle O’Reilly – Black Mass
Impact Wrestling
Dezmond Xavier b. Drago – Final Flash
Mumbai Cat b. Trevor Lee – Top rope splash
Ethan Carter III b. Moose via split decision
Suicide/Braxton Sutter/Grado b. KM/Mario Bokara/Fallah Bass – Rollup to KM
LAX b. Alberto El Patron/El Hijo de Dos Caras/Dos Caras – Warrior’s Way to El Patron
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 31, 2017
Location: PPG Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.
We’re in Kurt Angle country tonight and it’s already a stacked show. As announced last week, we’ll be seeing Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman vs. Samoa Joe in a triple threat match, along with Jason Jordan appearing on MizTV. If that’s not enough for you, Brock Lesnar is here too. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of last week’s announcement of the four way for the Universal Title at Summerslam.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Angle for the hero’s welcome to open the show. Angle is glad to be here and runs down tonight’s card. On a more personal note, it’s twenty one years to the day that he won an Olympic gold medal WITH A BROKEN FREAKING NECK. He wouldn’t be here without any of us and he thanks the fans before leaving….and here’s Lesnar.
Heyman knows what Angle is up to and sees the “angle” that he’s playing here. Kurt has to get the title from Lesnar so he put him into a four way with the most stacked heavyweight division in WWE history. There’s the power of Strowman, the Undertaker slaying Reigns and the Samoan disgrace, the latter of whom Heyman thinks Angle favors.
Angle’s bosses want to make sure that Lesnar loses the title so all three of the challenges are going to beat him down at once. Heyman thinks Angle has been told to pay the “ultimate” price so how about this: if Lesnar loses the title, he and Heyman are both gone from WWE. It won’t matter because Lesnar is going to be winning at Summerslam, whether Angle likes it or not.
Hardys vs. Anderson and Gallows
Revival is on commentary as we hear about the three way feud between these teams. Apparently Matt has been calling Dash an obsolete mule on Twitter. The brothers start in on Karl’s arm with a variety of wristlock. House is quickly cleaned and Poetry in Motion to Gallows sends us to an early break.
Back with Jeff Twist of Fating his way out of trouble but Anderson breaks up the slowest crawl to a corner ever. Karl misses a charge though and Matt gets the hot tag to clean house. Another Twist is broken up and Gallows kicks Matt in the back of the head. Dash: “See, we would never fall for that.” The Magic Killer is broken up and the Twist into the Swanton puts Gallows away at 9:09.
Post match the Hardys get in a brawl with the Revival. Anderson and Gallows come up to the stage as well, only to have all four villains sent to the floor for a big dive from Jeff.
Renee Young asks Dean Ambrose if he’s getting back together with Seth Rollins. Ambrose isn’t sure but Rollins come up. Dean says the people might want it and even Dean does to a degree, but he’s not getting burned again.
Post break Sheamus and Cesaro laugh at Seth for having no friends. He could even star in his own episode of Ride Along. Seth challenges either of them for tonight and Sheamus accepts.
Rich Swann/Cedric Alexander/Akira Tozawa vs. TJP/Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese
Only Tozawa gets an entrance. Cedric headscissors Nese around to start and snatches Ariya in an armdrag. Tozawa comes in and adds a backsplash but Ariya goes after the bad arm to take over. Back with Daivari holding the bad arm in an armbar for a bit until the diving tag brings in Swann. House is cleaned and everything breaks down with Alexander and Swann busting out stereo dives to put Nese and Daivari down. Tozawa adds one of his own, leaving Swann to trade rollups with TJP. A big kick to the head sets up Tozawa’s top rope backsplash for the pin at 8:48.
It’s time for MizTV with the Miztourage out in full. Jason Jordan is brought out as the guest but Miz keeps cutting him off to ask about the fans booing Jordan. Jason says he’s ok with the booing because he’s just going to keep going. Miz likes the attitude and offers him a spot in the Miztourage. Jordan says thanks but he’s good. We hear Miz’s resume but Jordan passes again. That’s cool with Miz, who thinks Jordan is cool with his dad handing him everything.
Jason would rather be chewed up and spit out than be associated with someone like Miz. That’s not cool with Miz, who doesn’t have to latch on to a different Olympian every week or rely on someone who was given a job out of pity. Jordan gets in Miz’s face over the Kurt insults but Miz calls off the Miztourage. A charge at Jason is countered into a belly to belly, sending Miz straight into the Miztourage and Jordan bailing before he gets destroyed.
Good but not great stuff here from Jason, who is still finding his rhythm with the talking. Having him hit the one suplex and bail is a good idea as him cleaning house wouldn’t have made the most sense. I could live with him winning the title, though a clean win over Miz would be a big stretch at this point.
Roman says tonight is about sending a message. No matter what those two do, the Big Dog isn’t going anywhere. He’s the only one who can beat Lesnar and tonight he’s going to prove it.
Sheamus vs. Seth Rollins
Seth’s music now features a voice screeching BURN IT DOWN. Just….no. I didn’t like the song in the first place and that makes it even worse. Sheamus headlocks him down to start as the announcers compare their careers. A Cesaro distraction sends Seth outside though and Sheamus posts him to take us to an early break.
Back with Sheamus hitting a super Regal Roll for two, only to get sent face first into the middle buckle. An enziguri knocks Sheamus to the floor and there’s the suicide dive. The Sling Blade sets up….a shot to knock Cesaro off the apron, followed by a rollup to put Sheamus away at 8:30.
The beatdown is on with Rollins being left laying. Ambrose FINALLY comes out for the save but takes a beating as well. Ambrose tells them to bring it so Cesaro beats him down some more.
Samoa Joe says he’s been putting people to sleep for twenty years and that’s what he’ll do to Brock at Summerslam.
Video on a Special Olympian.
Here’s Bray Wyatt for a chat. There is no escape for anyone, including Finn Balor. Everyone is held down by humanity’s shackles, doing everything they can to deal with pain. You can’t hide from him though because Bray Wyatt is everywhere. He’s right there when the honest man tries to validate stealing and he’s right there when everyone declares themselves as part of the Balor Club.
It’s a sickness that makes everyone think their life can be special. People think they can be like Balor and rise from the ashes but Bray sees Balor as the shell that he’s always been. Bray laughs at this I CAN DO IT attitude and here’s Balor, who appears behind Wyatt in the ring. Wyatt laughs at this as Balor poses with his back to Bray. An enziguri drops Bray to the floor and the brawl is on in a hurry. A dropkick sends Bray into the crowd and Balor stands tall without even taking off his jacket.
Strowman isn’t like most men because he breaks things when he doesn’t like people. Tonight he’s turning Reigns into a pile of broken bones.
Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman vs. Samoa Joe
Strowman starts running both of them over in the early going, sending both of them out to the floor. Back with Strowman missing a charge and getting kicked in the head for his efforts. Joe kicks Strowman in the head and gets in a fight with Roman, who he pulls down into a Fujiwara armbar. The fight heads outside for a bit with Joe grabbing the Koquina Clutch on Strowman over the barricade.
Strowman is almost out but Joe lets go to fight Reigns inside. The Rock Bottom is broken up and Reigns loads up the Superman Punch, only to have Joe roll outside in a smart move. That’s fine with Roman who hits the Superman Punch off the steps but Strowman is back up to block a spear with a big boot. Strowman LAUNCHES Reigns from the floor back inside but Joe gets in another kick.
The steps are put inside as Joe grabs the Clutch on Roman with Strowman making the save. There’s the powerslam for two on Joe as Reigns has to make a save this time. Strowman is back up with the steps but a Superman Punch knocks them away. The steps knock Strowman outside and the spear ends Joe at 14:38.
We recap Big Cass vs. Big Show.
Enzo comes in to see Show and apologizes for getting him into this. Show says Cass needs to learn a lesson and he can teach that.
Here’s Elias (yes just Elias now), who happens to be a hometown boy. He grew up here and it was the people of Pittsburgh that inspired him to write this song. Of course it rips on the town and its sports teams until Kalisto cuts him off for a match.
Elias vs. Kalisto
Elias starts fast and throws Kalisto to the floor for a break about a minute in because THAT’S HOW EVERY MATCH HAS TO GO NOW. Back with Elias holding a chinlock and booting Kalisto square in the mask. We hit an over the back backbreaker before Elias just drops him down. Kalisto gets in a few kicks and a springboard seated senton sets up the hurricanrana driver. He might have hurt his back though and it’s a quick swinging neckbreaker (Drift Away) to give Elias the pin at 8:13.
Alexa Bliss mocks Sasha Banks for the loss to Bayley last week. Banks isn’t here tonight so there’s no one to help Bayley against Nia Jax.
Rollins comes in to thank Ambrose for what he did but Dean still doesn’t buy it. He knows Rollins wouldn’t have done the same for him and walks off.
Bayley vs. Nia Jax
Nia throws her to the apron but Bayley slips back in and scores with a shot to the jaw. That just earns her a headbutt and an attempt at a powerslam. Nia slams her down hard and throws her outside for, say it with me, a break a little over a minute in. Back with Nia grabbing a double chickenwing and dropping Bayley flat on her face.
With Bayley on the floor, Nia throws her hair up in a side pony tail for a somewhat odd look. Bayley’s arm is banged up but she’s able to fight back with a bulldog and a dropkick. Another dropkick puts Nia on the floor and there’s a crossbody from the apron. Cue Alexa for a failed distraction though and Nia goes into the steps for the countout at 8:39.
The problem though is instead of having her be the fallen hero who has to fight her way back to the top, she just started winning again and is suddenly in a huge match at a major show. Characters aside, that’s poor storytelling. Outside of some videos on YouTube, we didn’t ever hear Bayley talking about how she had to rise back up the card or how she had to get back to her roots or how devastated she was. It’s Point A to Point D or so with nothing in between and that doesn’t work.
Big Cass is ready to teach Show a lesson.
We recap MizTV.
Big Cass vs. Big Show
Before the match, Enzo says he’d rather eat a banana peel before he associates with Cass again. Show jumps Cass during the entrances and hammers away, including the loud chop in the corner. Cass can’t whip him so Show sends him outside instead. It’s too late for a break though so an elbow drop gives Show two. Cass starts taking out the leg though and it’s off to a leglock. A big boot to the jaw just seems to wake Show up though and he chops Cass out of the air. Another big boot drops Show….and Enzo comes in for the DQ at 5:07.
Post match Cass throws Enzo down but walks into the KO Punch to end the show.
Results
Hardys b. Anderson and Gallows – Swanton Bomb to Gallows
Rich Swann/Akira Tozawa/Cedric Alexander b. TJP/Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese – Top rope backsplash to TJP
Seth Rollins b. Sheamus – Rollup
Roman Reigns b. Samoa Joe and Braun Strowman – Spear to Joe
Elias b. Kalisto – Drift Away
Bayley b. Nia Jax via countout
Big Cass b. Big Show via DQ when Enzo Amore interfered
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: August 1, 2017
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s one heck of a big show tonight as we have two major matches announced in advance (which thankfully seems to be a bit more of a trend lately). Tonight it’s AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens for the US Title but the big match is an actual dream match between Shinsuke Nakamura and John Cena for the Smackdown World Title shot at Summerslam. Let’s get to it.
The opening video looks at the setup of both matches.
US Title: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens
Owens is challenging and sends AJ into the corner to start. The drop down into a dropkick is blocked and a forearm to the back of the head knocks Styles outside. Owens is right there after him with a clothesline for a break because that’s what Raw does and if one show does it, the other has to as well.
Back with AJ hitting a dropkick and dropping the knee to the face for two. A suplex is good for one and AJ stomps away in the corner, which isn’t very common for him. The threat of the Phenomenal Forearm sends Owens to the floor so AJ hits one out there instead. Owens sends him into the barricade for a Cannonball though and we go to another break. Back with AJ hitting the fireman’s carry neckbreaker but the Styles Clash is countered with a backdrop.
A superkick gives Owens two more but he has to use a headbutt to break up the Calf Crusher. AJ is right back with a Pele and grabs the hold again in the middle of the ring, sending Owens crawling over to the ropes for another break. Owens nails two more superkicks but misses a punch and “hits” the referee by mistake. The Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into a rollup for the pin at 16:49, even though Owens had his shoulder WAY up, which JBL and Tom loudly point out.
In the back, the bosses are checking on the referee and saying that was a mistake. Owens comes storming in and yells a lot with a very orange Shane McMahon saying Owens needs to respect the referee. There’s going to be a rematch at Summerslam with Shane as the guest referee. Owens calls Shane the most incompetent of them all.
We look back at the Usos beating down New Day last week.
Here are the Usos with Jimmy doing Big E.’s signature entrance. The Usos are the reasons New Day isn’t here because they’re not grown men riding a tricycle throwing out fake cereal. They’re be taking the titles and the catchphrase because U-SO ROCKS.
It’s time for the Fashion Files, or Fashion Peaks in this case. Tyler Breeze is on his own in a suit talking about how Fandango has been kidnapped, perhaps by extraterrestrials, and wondering why he’s recording this message instead of just calling the person he’s recording it for.
The lights dim and here’s Fandango, seemingly in a trance. The Ascension are next to him and pour syrup on what looks like a big piece of bread. Fandango stings himself on a rose and the three laugh as Breeze shouts about not understanding any of this. Breeze: “NO MORE METAPHORS!” And of course it’s a dream sequence with Breeze waking up next to some pastries. Breeze knows who kidnapped him.
Sami Zayn vs. Aiden English
English sings his way to the ring. A wristlock has Sami in some very early trouble but he’s right back up and spins English down into an armbar. English turns that into a rollup though and gets the completely clean pin at 1:59.
Both English and Zayn are stunned but here are the Kannellises to say they love Sami losing.
Becky Lynch/Naomi vs. Natalya/Carmella
Natalya and Becky fight over arm control to start with Lynch possibly tweaking her knee coming out of the corner (she tweaked it last week too but seemed fine coming into the match). Naomi comes in and takes Natalya down for a very big legdrop. It’s off to Carmella, in a James Ellsworth shirt, for a slap to Naomi’s face. Naomi actually gets caught in the wrong corner and a hard spinebuster from Natalya sets up the Sharpshooter. She makes it over to the ropes so Carmella comes in for the Code of Silence, which is quickly countered into Naomi’s reverse Rings of Saturn for the tap at 3:57.
Jinder Mahal is sick of xenophobia and doesn’t care if he’s facing the American or the man from Japan. No one can end his reign so it really doesn’t matter.
Rusev vs. Chad Gable
Gable can’t take him down to start and gets thrown outside without too much effort. Back in and Gable gets him down this time before starting in on the knee. That earns Chad a knee to the chest though and a gutwrench suplex takes us to a break. Back with Gable hitting a German suplex followed by a moonsault for two.
Rusev is slow to get up so Gable tries Rolling Chaos Theory. That’s quickly countered though and Rusev kicks him in the head for two. I’d have bet on that for the pin. The Accolade is broken up and Gable grabs an ankle lock, which is eventually kicked off to send Gable outside. Back in and Rusev eats the superkick, setting up the Accolade for the tap at 9:03.
Rusev says he wants competition (please ban that line already) and knows he can’t be beaten. He wants an opponent for Summerslam….and here’s Randy Orton for a staredown. Orton can’t get in the ring so he grabs the mic and says if he were Rusev, he wouldn’t want Orton in the ring either. Rusev takes a step back so Orton gets in and the match is set. Rusev rants in Bulgarian and eats an RKO for his efforts. These two have never actually had a singles match so it’s a genuinely fresh match.
We look at the ending of Styles vs. Owens again.
John Cena vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
The winner gets Mahal, who is watching from a sky box, at Summerslam. Nakamura wastes no time in sending him into the corner for the head on the chest with the arm shakes. Cena gets taken into the corner for Good Vibrations as John doesn’t know what to do with him yet. Another attempt at Good Vibrations is countered as Cena lifts the boot (You could say he’s picking up good vibrations.) and grabs a belly to belly to take us to a break.
Back with Nakamura winning a slugout with a spinning kick to the head. More kicks stagger Cena and the running knee to the ribs gets two. Cena tries his finishing sequence but gets reversed into an attempt at an armbar. Nakamura settles for a triangle choke which is reversed with a powerbomb. The STF is countered into a cross armbreaker which is turned into a rollup for two.
Cena’s big running clothesline that he uses when he needs to get out of trouble gets him out of trouble but Nakamura is right back up with the sliding knee. An AA gives Cena two and we get a triple reaction shot, including one that is shown again while we see the replay. Another AA is countered into a guillotine choke but Cena powers up into a second AA. Cena isn’t done yet and tries a third, only to be reversed into the reverse Exploder. Kinshasa sends Nakamura to Summerslam at 13:19.
Cena raises Nakamura’s hand so posing can end the show.
Results
AJ Styles b. Kevin Owens – Rollup
Aiden English b. Sami Zayn – Rollup
Becky Lynch/Naomi b. Natalya/Carmella – Reverse Rings of Saturn to Carmella
Rusev b. Chad Gable – Accolade
Shinsuke Nakamura b. John Cena – Kinshasa
Wednesday
NXT
Date: August 2, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson
With just over two weeks to go to before Takeover: Brooklyn III, it’s time to get some things moving. We already have a lot of the card set so now we can focus on building up what’s already announced and set up some other stuff. Tonight the main focus seems to be on Aleister Black, who currently doesn’t have a match for the big show. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Johnny Gargano vs. Raul Mendoza
Johnny comes out to the old DIY music and video but stops so they can both change to Gargano versions. Gargano takes him to the mat with a front facelock into a headlock but Mendoza nips up and gets two off a rollup. That earns Raul a superkick to the jaw and Johnny starts in on the arm. Mendoza gets in a dropkick for two of his own, only to miss a springboard and eat the spear through the ropes. Raul hits an enziguri and goes up but dives right into the modified Crossface for the tap at 4:13.
We look at last week’s brawl between Sanity and the Authors of Pain. The title match is official for Brooklyn.
Paul Ellering says the Authors will write the chapter at Brooklyn. Until then though, be prepared because the monsters are real.
Here’s Asuka with something to say. As usual, she keeps it very simple by saying she’s beaten Ember Moon before and Ember isn’t ready to face her again. Cue Moon, to say she knows that she’s ready, just as Asuka knows. Asuka offers the handshake but slaps Ember instead. The fight is on with Ember getting in some right hands but eating a kick to to the face. Asuka poses with the title….and turns right into the Eclipse to knock her cold. Ember won’t pick up the title, saying she’ll touch it when she earns it. Good segment here with Asuka putting the Eclipse over huge.
Bobby Roode talks about proving that he’s a better man than Roderick Strong but of course Roderick wants to play the lottery again. As for Drew McIntyre, Bobby is more than willing to have a chat with him in the ring next week. Roode goes to leave when Strong charges in for a fight. William Regal and security break it up with Strong saying he’ll do anything to face Roode. Regal says his hands are tied because the match is made.
The Street Profits are here next week.
Sonya Deville vs. Jenna Van Bimmel
Sonya offers to let the much bigger Jenna have some free shots but does some head faking to avoid them. A hard clothesline sets up some knees to the ribs have Jenna in trouble as this is looking squashish. Jenna hits a charge in the corner but gets pulled down into a triangle choke for the tap at 2:06.
Hideo Itami is tired of not being respected so he’s not going to respect anyone. He rants in Japanese and ignores a need to go back to the arena. Instead he steals the mic and walks into the arena, saying he deserves respect. He doesn’t care who’s next but it’s Aleister Black cutting him off. After the long entrance, Itami goes to leave but tries a sneak attack. That goes bad for him though Black Mass drops Itami with one shot. Black just sitting there staring at Itami’s unconscious body is great stuff.
Kyle O’Reilly vs. Aleister Black
This is Kyle’s debut. Nigel: “HE’S HERE TOO!” Feeling out process to start and they fight over some grappling. Some striking doesn’t last long and they go back to the grappling with Kyle not being able to get a triangle choke. A chinlock is countered into a hammerlock as Mauro is trying to get in every MMA reference he can.
Back up and a spinning legsweep into the sitting pose has Kyle in trouble as we take a break. It’s not much better for Kyle when we come back as Aleister kicks him square in the chest for two. Black charges into a boot to the jaw though and Kyle snaps off some kicks of his own.
Kyle grabs a leglock on the mat and it’s a slap off until Black finally gets out. Black blocks a cross armbreaker so Kyle settles for a hammerlock and knees to the arm. Back from a second break with Black telling Kyle to hit him and grabbing a snap suplex for two. Kyle snaps the throat across the top though and it’s right back to another arm hold.
Black kicks him in the head to escape and gets two off a Lionsault press. A second attempt is blocked with a kick to the leg though and a big forearm to the back of the head gets two on Black. Aleister fires off more strikes but charges into a jumping knee. Not that it matters as Black Mass puts Kyle away at 22:56.
Results
Johnny Gargano b. Raul Mendoza – Crossface
Sonya Deville b. Jenna Van Bimmel – Triangle choke
Aleister Black b. Kyle O’Reilly – Black Mass
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: August 3, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash
The battle for Mexican pride continues as Alberto El Patron’s feud with LAX is still going. Last week saw the Veterans of War save El Patron from a post match beatdown, because he just wasn’t beating the group badly enough yet. I’m really not sure what the end game of this is but LAX could use a top guy in a hurry. Let’s get to it.
Konnan promises a new member of LAX tonight and says there’s a new level of violence coming.
Long recap of the Super X Cup as tonight will see the finals set.
Super X Cup Semifinals: Dezmond Xavier vs. Dragon
They run the ropes to start with Drago hitting a dropkick for two. Back up and both guys miss a few strikes until Xavier grabs a running hurricanrana for two of his own. Drago sends him outside for a suicide dive and we take a break. We come back with both guys hitting kicks to the head to put both of them down.
Back up and it’s another double knockdown, followed by Desmond picking things WAY up and headscissoring him out to the floor for a bit flip dive. Drago hits a superkick back inside, followed by a top rope Orton DDT for two. A Batista Bomb gives Drago the same and stereo strikes put both guys down again. Back up and Drago gets two off a rollup, only to have Xavier hit a 619 around the post. The Final Flash sends Xavier to the finals at 15:18.
Ethan Carter III says he’s a hot commodity and is ready to win the Grand Championship because he’s in Moose’s head. He’ll win no matter what stupid judges he has to deal with, even if it’s Bruce Prichard.
We recap Bobby Lashley vs. Matt Sydal, who meet at Destination X.
The Patron family is ready to face LAX tonight but Alberto thinks one of them might join the team. Alberto thinks that his brother might have turned as he and Konnan are friends. An argument breaks out so here’s Karen Jarrett to say family is important. Bruce comes in to say he’s got this and asks to talk to Karen alone.
Mumbai Cat vs. Trevor Lee
Lee is still wrestling in the belt. Cat is sent outside early on and we get a switch with another masked man who was underneath the ring. The second Cat (let’s call him Sonjay, just for a name) takes Lee down with some clotheslines and a superkick, followed by a tornado DDT. The top rope splash ends Lee at 1:38.
Of course it’s Sonjay and here’s Bruce to complain (and to get his quota of screen time). Sonjay tells him to hang on and says he’s still the champ. We’ll have a ladder match for the title in two weeks at Destination X.
Video on Lashley’s MMA training.
Joseph Park tells Grado to focus on his match tonight and he’ll have Laurel Van Ness ready for the wedding later. His grandmother told him something he’ll never forget for situations like this. He can’t come up with it right off hand but it was great.
Eli Drake vs. Eddie Edwards
Hang on as Eddie has been attacked by Kongo Kong. No match.
Post break Laurel is shouting at Kong as he beats up Richard Justice (the designated wrestler from last week).
Grand Championship: Ethan Carter III vs. Moose
Moose is defending and Bruce Prichard, Scott D’Amore and Dutch Mantel are the judges. Some early chops and a toss across the ring have Ethan in early trouble but Moose misses a charge into the steps. Carter hammers away and tells Bruce to SCORE THAT. Back in and Carter sits down on Moose’s back as the first round ends. Carter wins the first round and sends Moose face first into the apron to start round two.
We hit a quickly broken chinlock before Moose fights up with the running charges in the corner. A hesitation dropkick has Carter reeling and the round ends. Moose wins round two and after a break, throws Carter to the floor to start the third round. A bicycle kick gives Moose two and a Low Down from the corner gets the same. Neither finisher can hit but the second attempt at the 1%er connects for two.
Moose blocks the ECD and hits a sitout chokeslam as time expires at 9:00. Carter wins via split decision (two ties) with Prichard giving him the winning vote with a score of 10-8. This is billed as controversial, which is true considering Moose dominated the third round save for the 1%er.
OVE (the Crist Brothers) debut at Destination X.
KM/Mario Bokara/Fallah Bahh vs. Suicide/Braxton Sutter/Grado
International six man tag, meaning “here’s a bunch of people to fill time”. The bad guys are knocked into the corner and it’s time for some dancing. Bahh’s bare feet take a few stomps to send him outside but the dive is broken up. Back in and Bahh rolls over Grado but Grado slugs away for his comeback. Everything breaks down and Grado school boys KM for the pin at 3:41.
Post match Park brings out Laurel for the proposal but Kongo Kong comes in and destroys Grado. Sutter leaves as Park gets Grado out of the ring before the top rope splash can hit.
Konnan tells “random white girl number five” that violence is about to come to the Patron family.
Ethan Carter III comes out to brag about being the grandest champion of them all. He’s now in love with his title and gives it a kiss before asking if it wants to get out of here. As usual, Carter is one of the most entertaining things on this show.
LAX vs. El Hijo de Dos Caras/Dos Caras/Alberto El Patron
Caras (sixty six years old) starts with Homicide and pulls him down into a rollup for no count as the shoulder is up. Chops knock Homicide into the corner and it’s off to Hijo for a suicide dive as we take a break. Back with Alberto hitting a basement dropkick for no count, allowing LAX to get in a few cheap shots to take over.
Santana’s chinlock keeps things slow and it’s off to Ortiz with a slam. Alberto crotches him on top though and the not hot tag brings in Hijo for a high crossbody. Santana crotches Hijo on top as well and LAX takes over again. A superplex gives Ortiz two and the triple teaming begins.
Santana misses an elbow though and the hot tag brings in Alberto to clean house. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Homicide as everything breaks down. Hijo misses a dive and it’s Santana getting caught in the ropes for the top rope double stomp. No cover though as we have a ref bump, leaving no one to see Ortiz tap to the armbreaker.
Hijo comes in with a chair and takes out Homicide to prove his loyalty to his brother. Santana gets caught in another armbreaker but here’s Low Ki in an LAX jacket with a Warrior’s Way to Alberto. The announcers freak out as Santana gets the pin on El Patron at 16:48.
The announcers treat this as LAX becoming invincible because they have the memories of a WWE Creative staff member.
Results
Dezmond Xavier b. Drago – Final Flash
Mumbai Cat b. Trevor Lee – Top rope splash
Ethan Carter III b. Moose via split decision
Suicide/Braxton Sutter/Grado b. KM/Mario Bokara/Fallah Bass – Rollup to KM
LAX b. Alberto El Patron/El Hijo de Dos Caras/Dos Caras – Warrior’s Way to El Patron
Friday
Nothing.
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Hardys b. Anderson and Gallows – Swanton Bomb to Gallows
Rich Swann/Akira Tozawa/Cedric Alexander b. TJP/Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese – Top rope backsplash to TJP
Seth Rollins b. Sheamus – Rollup
Roman Reigns b. Samoa Joe and Braun Strowman – Spear to Joe
Elias b. Kalisto – Drift Away
Bayley b. Nia Jax via countout
Big Cass b. Big Show via DQ when Enzo Amore interfered
Smackdown
AJ Styles b. Kevin Owens – Rollup
Aiden English b. Sami Zayn – Rollup
Becky Lynch/Naomi b. Natalya/Carmella – Reverse Rings of Saturn to Carmella
Rusev b. Chad Gable – Accolade
Shinsuke Nakamura b. John Cena – Kinshasa
NXT
Johnny Gargano b. Raul Mendoza – Crossface
Sonya Deville b. Jenna Van Bimmel – Triangle choke
Aleister Black b. Kyle O’Reilly – Black Mass
Impact Wrestling
Dezmond Xavier b. Drago – Final Flash
Mumbai Cat b. Trevor Lee – Top rope splash
Ethan Carter III b. Moose via split decision
Suicide/Braxton Sutter/Grado b. KM/Mario Bokara/Fallah Bass – Rollup to KM
LAX b. Alberto El Patron/El Hijo de Dos Caras/Dos Caras – Warrior’s Way to El Patron