klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Saturday
Uh .MITB is tomorrow. Yeah thats all Ive got.
Sunday
Money in the Bank
Date: July 18, 2010
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler
Well its about ten minutes before the show starts and I legitimately do not know who to pick for the winners in the major matches. Id expect a cash in tonight but Im not entirely sure. I cant imagine both will be cashed in, but Id think one. The Nexus is pretty clearly the most interesting bunch here as we have reason to believe theyll interfere in at least one Raw match. This should be fun though, although Im worried that theyll mess up the MITB appeal, but thats WWE for you. Lets get to it.
Apparently WWE has promised us a great main event here tonight.
The video is about risking it all to win it all. Not what I would have gone with but I can live with that.
Smackdown Money in the Bank
Kofi is probably the favorite here but I just dont see him getting it. Ziggler .no. Christian is the smark favorite but I doubt it, likely causing him to further his heel turn. Rhodes is out next with his sounding like Living on a Prayer music. Hardy kind of gets a pop. Drew is the likely favorite here. Dont expect a lot of commentary here as its mainly just a bunch of insane spots. Id like to see Kane win but thats not likely. Show is out last, sans mega ladder.
Everyone jumps the big guys to start which makes sense. That of course doesnt work so we continue one of the longest running feuds in company history. Those two have interacted on and off for over 11 years. Everyone not big and bald goes away for some reason. Theyve been gone for like a minute now and the ring is empty. Show tries to find his own ladder and everyone gang jumps on him.
Everyone is on the floor now and Show has a bad knee. We need a Public Enemy video explaining how to climb a ladder a la Mike Whipwreck. Matt almost gets there but Christian makes the save which the fans dont seem to like. I always get scared in matches like these. Theyre so freaking dangerous. In the words of JR, how do you learn to fall off a 20 foot ladder? Where do you find a 20 foot ladder? If these are 20 feet tall then Kofi apparently stands about 102.
Everyone is doing the one person climbs and then one person stops it while the rest do nothing of note. Christian is about to be pushed to the floor but he uses an ancient Chinese technique to save himself from maximum pain: he jumps off. Why has no one done that before? Matt and Christian team up for about as long as Dennis Rodman was married to Carmen Electra. Wow Im old.
We go back to what we started with as everyone goes after the big guys whenever they start. Thats some storytelling so I cant complain there. Drew cleans house, sending Cody into the post after a brief dash. Ill stop the puns on his name now. There must be like 8 ladders everywhere. Kane goes after Drew and rips up both tables. Make sure you move the monitors in your insane rage Kane. Theres a good employee.
No one is in the ring again. Drew is on the announce table and Kofi looks up at the huge ladder. The ring posts are green and the ropes are white. Its a very Irish looking ring. Kofi hits the Boom Drop to more or less murder Drew and kill himself. Ziggler almost gets it but Show shoves the ladder down and Dolph hits it on the way down. Striker says there has never been a giant in MITB. Uh, bullshit but whatever.
Show splashes a ladder with Christian and Matt under it. Just call him the Giant again. They say that like 4 times in a row without saying Big Show. Its mega ladder time. The ladder weighs more than Kane apparently and could hold 7 of the 8 people in this match. And he cant get it in the ring. There is little funnier than unintentional comedy. So after spending three days setting it up, Rhodes makes the save by hitting him in the knee with a step ladder.
Codys face and head slams into the ladder. I think it does at least. Either way it looked great. This whole no one is up thing is really annoying. Kofi goes Shelton and springboards up to the big ladder while Show takes forever to get up (his knee is hurt though so thats fine). Cody hits a SWEET dropkick to stop him from going up. We need more people in this at once though.
We bust out the finishers on the ladder and Kofi, Show, Dolph and Cody are all in the ring. Matt, Kane and Christian have been gone for like ever. At least Drew was taken down in a huge spot. This is already a 20 minute match. Kane shoves over the super ladder and Show goes over the top rope. The other guys pile ladders on top of Show which is a smart idea actually and a fairly innovative idea.
The midcard squad stops Kane and we get a fight between Matt and Cody. This has to be the end. Cody is almost there but Kane saves. Its Kane by himself but Dolph gets the sleeper on him for like a second but cant get it. Theres the full sleeper. Kane does exactly what I thought he should do and ducks his head a bunch of times, ramming it into the ladder.
This is a LONG match, probably the longest of all the MITB matches. Id call Drew winning since hes been gone for such a long time, although that isnt much of a limb to go out on. Kofi gets chokeslammed on the pile of ladders. Kane and Cody go up the ramp to a MITB armored truck. Kane comes back to stop Matt as were almost at 30 minutes. Matt has it but Christian is right there. Huge fucking spot coming. Theyre both standing on top of the ladder and there they go off of it.
Everyone is dead and here comes Drew. Kane comes back and its save time. Downw he goes and HOLY SHIT KANE WINS! He does the fire out of the corners thing from the mega ladder in an AWESOME visual. Im a huge Kane fan so this is awesome to me.
Sheamus cuts a long promo about how he doesnt get any respect from anyone especially Cena. I liked this as it gave him some much needed character development.
Raw Womens Title: Eve Torres vs. Alicia Fox
Id bet on the champion retaining here but then again Eve is about ten times hotter so there we are. Eve is freaking gorgeous but allegedly management is REALLY happy with Fox for no apparent reason. Matt points out that the Divas Title hasnt ever changed hands in Kansas City. Could that be because the belt has only been around for like three years and its only had like 4 holders?
The crowd is of course dead for this as theyre spent from the first match. But remember, the Divas are IMPORTANT and NOT eye candy. Yeah the only think I care about here is how good Eve looks in those gold shorts. She has great legs and abs. Alicia works on the back a lot and it sucks even more life out of this if thats possible.
Eve gets the weakest clap from the audience Ive ever heard. Eve does some decent stuff but this just needs to end. Cross body only gets one. The match isnt terrible but its just not interesting at all. WE GET PSYCHOLOGY as Eve gets hit in the back and it sets up the Axe Kick to end it. THANK YOU! Now is THAT so hard to work into a match?
We review Swagger being a dick on Friday which was great for him. Allegedly that was Bunkhouse Buck from WCW. Swagger is on the phone with his mom and says his dad was living through him so this was deserved. This is GREAT.
Unified Tag Titles: Uso Brothers vs. Hart Dynasty
Given the fact that we havent seen anything from the Usos other than 6 man tags and a squash win on Superstars, I cant picture them winning yet. The Uso in shorts starts vs. David. We go through the list of guys from the Hart Dungeon and barely scratch the surface. Thats Jay apparently and the crowd is somehow even MORE dead for this. Wow this is basic stuff.
We get the Umaga ass smash of death to the face of Smith as this is more or less just a Raw match. They mention the taped up thumb which is a tribute to a fallen Samoan who they dont name. That would be Umaga but he never existed. Kidd makes what is supposed to be a hot tag but might as well be in Siberia. Kidd hits a SWEET sunset flip into a rollup but gets caught in an Alley-Oop Samoan Drop.
The top rope splash from Jimmy gets knees though and David gets a small reaction on a tag. The girls go at it for a bit as Kidd beats up Jay. The Sharpshooter on Jimmy ends this fairly easy. Just a somewhat longer Raw match. Cole says this could elevate them to a new level. Uh, what level is that? Venezuelan tag champions?
Ad for Criss Angels new season which is the shows sponsor.
We recap Swagger vs. Rey which is just a rematch from Swagger not losing the title in a one on one match. Oh and Rey has a bad ankle thanks to Swagger.
Smackdown World Title: Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio
I love that little run around the ring that he does when he gets there. Rey limps a lot which makes me accept that hes going to retain here. Big match intros make almost any match better. This should be good anyway though as both guys tend to work well together. Apparently being educated is a huge thing for Swagger and gives him an advantage. WWE supports education and since Linda McMahon is a WWE person, Linda McMahon supports education. Thats almost as much of a stretch as WWE has a tag division.
Rey hits a seated senton to the floor and hurts his leg again. Striker thinks Swagger hurt his head when he rams his head into the buckle. Gee you think? Striker hits the running up the ropes belly to belly which is always nice. Swagger stands on Reys ankle on the floor. Why couldnt he be this ruthless when he was champion? At least theyre going with a basic story here before Rey makes his Superman comeback.
Rey hits one oh his thousand rana variations to send Swagger into the buckle but hurts his ankle on the modified moonsault. Swagger is getting better with every match he has. Swagger gets the powerbomb but Rey gets the foot on the ropes because he hooks the wrong leg like an idiot. Why does that never happen any other time? Swagger goes for .something off the middle rope but Rey reverses into a tornado DDT. I think it was a powerslam off the top but it didnt work.
Rey is finally called Superman as he hits the 619. Amazing that a guy with a torn tendon could manage to get a running start for a move like that. Ankle lock is on but he makes the ropes. Vader Bomb hits but no cover. A second one hits and still no cover. Rey takes the boot off of his foot like Eddie (yeah Im shocked too) and rolls up Swagger for the pin. Swagger beats him up post match and hooks the ankle lock. Kane comes out for the save and chases Swagger off but doesnt cash in.
SCRATCH THAT! Kane comes back, this time with music, a referee and the briefcase! If he loses here .sweet damn Ill hurt someone.
Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kane
Rey tries to run but Kane hits a chokeslam and then a Tombstone. YES! KANE IS WORLD CHAMPION!!!!!! Screw any kind of unbiasedness or whatever. THIS IS AWESOME!
Rating: A+. The tiny man loses and Kane is world champion. This is GREAT!
Jericho and Edge both say theyll win.
Smackdown Womens Title: Layla vs. Kelly Kelly
Kelly looks awesome tonight as does Michelle. No one cares about this obviously but theyre a bit awake here. Kelly hits her K2 thing but Michelle grabs the leg and puts it on the ropes. Kelly goes for a sunset flip off the second rope and Layla goes British Bulldog on her for the pin. Yeah whatever.
Raw Money in the Bank
Orton gets the kind of home town pop but its still a huge one as you would expect. Miz is the dark horse pick to win but he likely wont. Mark Henry needs to get lost in the desert somewhere. DiBiase is growing on me. Theyre going through the intros much faster here than they did in the first match. Maryse in a red dress works very well. Morrison is someone that is a wild card here but Id bet on him not winning. Him giving away the sunglasses is great. Jericho is the main event filler guy here which is fine for a guy at his state in his career. Bourne is here for high spots more than likely. Edge is probably the Drew McIntyre here: the guy you expect to win but doesnt.
They do a lot of basic stuff to get us going which is what you would expect. Edge stops Bourne but Bourne hits a sweet rana to take him down. Orton this the DDT off the second rung of the ladder which is a nice little variation on it. Morrison kind of falls down and hits his head on the ladder which wasnt planned. He looks ok though. Morrison gets some solid reactions here and takes out Miz and DiBiase.
This match suffers from being the second of these matches in less than two hours. The spots dont look as impressive as they did when we hadnt seen them in four months. Henry shoves four guys off two ladders and everyone is down. Maryse goes into the ring and sets up a ladder with everyone down. She takes forever to climb the thing as the question of can anyone climb the ladder and get the case is raised. Morrison stops her and nothing really comes of it.
Everyone is apparently dead again as people are all out on the floor other than Miz. Striker names Mizs fans Mizfits. Dude, stop trying so hard. Morrison does a modified Shelton spot by being slingshotted into the ladder on the floor but holding on. He then grabs one standing in the corner and slides over on it to get on the ladder Edge is on. Nice spot. Edge and Miz get Morrison stuck between the rungs of a ladder and beat him up. Edge slams the ladder into Mizs face in a perfectly Edge spot.
Henry takes over for a bit but gets the Big Show treatment from earlier including a Codebreaker and Spear on the floor. Everything goes insane again and Air Bourne hits. He almost gets up to the case but cant unhook it a la Swagger. We get Canadian violence as Edge and Jericho fight atop the ladder. RKO OFF THE LADDER ON JERICHO!
Orton LOOKS at a ladder and gets the biggest pop of the night. He almost has it but Miz makes the save. MIZ WINS IT! HOLY FLYING FUCKSTICK! Miz gets a mic as the announcers cant believe what theyre seeing. Miz says that everyone here is living in his moment. He says this means he made it and hes right. This is totally believable here and given where he was just like three years ago (chick magnet) two years ago (in a tag team like say David Hart Smith is now) or even a year ago (parodying Cena) this is AMAZING.
We recap Cena vs. Sheamus with the Nexus involved, which makes this a very interesting main event.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Sheamus
Its in a cage, which is somehow supposed to stop the Nexus somehow. Theres no top on it that I can see so I dont get the theory there. This starts pretty slowly and then picks up a bit. The fans are anti-Cena. He also has stitches from a cut on Raw Monday. Cena wants an ELBOW apparently. Theyre pretty much just killing time here until the Nexus stuff starts. Its not bad or anything but its kind of uneventful.
After about five minutes of somewhat interesting stuff, Sheamus hooks a sleeper and Cena climbs up the ropes with him on his back. This is pin, submission or escape in case you were wondering. Cena stars his usual ending sequence but of course it doesnt work. Sheamus gets him tied up in the ropes and does a nice pose. Why he doesnt leave through the door and then come back for the beatdown is anyones guess.
Sheamus climbs over him but the less white guy gets out and hits a bulldog from the top. Were just going through the motions here but its picking up pretty well. Pump Kick and FU get two and HERE THEY COME! Tarver has boltcutters but they want the key anyway. The referee on the floor throws it into the crowd. FU is blocked and down goes the referee. Sheamus taps to the STFU but theres no referee .other than the one outside thats looking at it but whatever.
Nexus stops Cena from getting out with Gabriel climbing up to stop him. Cena knocks him into the cage but gets stopped again. Sheamus goes up and gets stopped too by Slater. He gets out though and Sheamus gets out before SPRINTING away. No Miz tonight I guess which is good.
Cena is left alone with Young and Tarver for some reason which I guess means hes not alone. Young has less hair here too it seems. Let the beatdown begin. He rams the steps into Tarver, more or less killing him. He takes an armband and leaves, sans title to end the show.
Results
Kane won the Smackdown MITB match
Alicia Fox b. Eve Torres Axe Kick
Hart Dynasty b. Uso Brothers Sharpshooter to Jay
Rey Mysterio b. Jack Swagger Standing Hurricanrana
Kane b. Rey Mysterio Tombstone Piledriver
Layla b. Kelly Kelly Reversed Sunset Flip
Sheamus b. John Cena Escaped cage
Quick Results
Raw
Alicia Fox b. Gail Kim Axe Kick
Usos/Tamina b. Hart Dynasty Top rope splash to Smith
Edge b. Randy Orton Edge-O-Matic
The Miz vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest
Santino Bunch b. Regal Bunch Khali Chop to Doink
Nexus b. John Cena 450 Splash
NXT
Mark Henry/Lucky Cannon b. Alex Riley/Miz Worlds Strongest Slam to Riley
Nexus won a Battle Royal
Impact
Sarita b. Taylor Wilde Choked Wilde out with a womans purse
Brian Kendrick b. Doug Williams Cobra Clutch
Beer Money b. Motor City Machine Guns Storm grabbed the contract
DAngelo Dinero b. Matt Morgan Codebreaker
Jeff Hardy b. Jay Lethal Swanton Bomb
Smackdown
Kofi Kingston vs. Cody Rhodes went to a no contest Kane interference
Drew McIntyre b. Christian Futureshock DDT
Chris Masters/Kelly Kelly b. Layla/Trent Baretta K2 to Layla
Dolph Ziggler b. Matt Hardy Zig Zag
Money in the Bank
Kane won the Smackdown MITB match
Alicia Fox b. Eve Torres Axe Kick
Hart Dynasty b. Uso Brothers Sharpshooter to Jay
Rey Mysterio b. Jack Swagger Standing Hurricanrana
Kane b. Rey Mysterio Tombstone Piledriver
Layla b. Kelly Kelly Reversed Sunset Flip
Sheamus b. John Cena Escaped cage
Uh .MITB is tomorrow. Yeah thats all Ive got.
Sunday
Money in the Bank
Date: July 18, 2010
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler
Well its about ten minutes before the show starts and I legitimately do not know who to pick for the winners in the major matches. Id expect a cash in tonight but Im not entirely sure. I cant imagine both will be cashed in, but Id think one. The Nexus is pretty clearly the most interesting bunch here as we have reason to believe theyll interfere in at least one Raw match. This should be fun though, although Im worried that theyll mess up the MITB appeal, but thats WWE for you. Lets get to it.
Apparently WWE has promised us a great main event here tonight.
The video is about risking it all to win it all. Not what I would have gone with but I can live with that.
Smackdown Money in the Bank
Kofi is probably the favorite here but I just dont see him getting it. Ziggler .no. Christian is the smark favorite but I doubt it, likely causing him to further his heel turn. Rhodes is out next with his sounding like Living on a Prayer music. Hardy kind of gets a pop. Drew is the likely favorite here. Dont expect a lot of commentary here as its mainly just a bunch of insane spots. Id like to see Kane win but thats not likely. Show is out last, sans mega ladder.
Everyone jumps the big guys to start which makes sense. That of course doesnt work so we continue one of the longest running feuds in company history. Those two have interacted on and off for over 11 years. Everyone not big and bald goes away for some reason. Theyve been gone for like a minute now and the ring is empty. Show tries to find his own ladder and everyone gang jumps on him.
Everyone is on the floor now and Show has a bad knee. We need a Public Enemy video explaining how to climb a ladder a la Mike Whipwreck. Matt almost gets there but Christian makes the save which the fans dont seem to like. I always get scared in matches like these. Theyre so freaking dangerous. In the words of JR, how do you learn to fall off a 20 foot ladder? Where do you find a 20 foot ladder? If these are 20 feet tall then Kofi apparently stands about 102.
Everyone is doing the one person climbs and then one person stops it while the rest do nothing of note. Christian is about to be pushed to the floor but he uses an ancient Chinese technique to save himself from maximum pain: he jumps off. Why has no one done that before? Matt and Christian team up for about as long as Dennis Rodman was married to Carmen Electra. Wow Im old.
We go back to what we started with as everyone goes after the big guys whenever they start. Thats some storytelling so I cant complain there. Drew cleans house, sending Cody into the post after a brief dash. Ill stop the puns on his name now. There must be like 8 ladders everywhere. Kane goes after Drew and rips up both tables. Make sure you move the monitors in your insane rage Kane. Theres a good employee.
No one is in the ring again. Drew is on the announce table and Kofi looks up at the huge ladder. The ring posts are green and the ropes are white. Its a very Irish looking ring. Kofi hits the Boom Drop to more or less murder Drew and kill himself. Ziggler almost gets it but Show shoves the ladder down and Dolph hits it on the way down. Striker says there has never been a giant in MITB. Uh, bullshit but whatever.
Show splashes a ladder with Christian and Matt under it. Just call him the Giant again. They say that like 4 times in a row without saying Big Show. Its mega ladder time. The ladder weighs more than Kane apparently and could hold 7 of the 8 people in this match. And he cant get it in the ring. There is little funnier than unintentional comedy. So after spending three days setting it up, Rhodes makes the save by hitting him in the knee with a step ladder.
Codys face and head slams into the ladder. I think it does at least. Either way it looked great. This whole no one is up thing is really annoying. Kofi goes Shelton and springboards up to the big ladder while Show takes forever to get up (his knee is hurt though so thats fine). Cody hits a SWEET dropkick to stop him from going up. We need more people in this at once though.
We bust out the finishers on the ladder and Kofi, Show, Dolph and Cody are all in the ring. Matt, Kane and Christian have been gone for like ever. At least Drew was taken down in a huge spot. This is already a 20 minute match. Kane shoves over the super ladder and Show goes over the top rope. The other guys pile ladders on top of Show which is a smart idea actually and a fairly innovative idea.
The midcard squad stops Kane and we get a fight between Matt and Cody. This has to be the end. Cody is almost there but Kane saves. Its Kane by himself but Dolph gets the sleeper on him for like a second but cant get it. Theres the full sleeper. Kane does exactly what I thought he should do and ducks his head a bunch of times, ramming it into the ladder.
This is a LONG match, probably the longest of all the MITB matches. Id call Drew winning since hes been gone for such a long time, although that isnt much of a limb to go out on. Kofi gets chokeslammed on the pile of ladders. Kane and Cody go up the ramp to a MITB armored truck. Kane comes back to stop Matt as were almost at 30 minutes. Matt has it but Christian is right there. Huge fucking spot coming. Theyre both standing on top of the ladder and there they go off of it.
Everyone is dead and here comes Drew. Kane comes back and its save time. Downw he goes and HOLY SHIT KANE WINS! He does the fire out of the corners thing from the mega ladder in an AWESOME visual. Im a huge Kane fan so this is awesome to me.
Sheamus cuts a long promo about how he doesnt get any respect from anyone especially Cena. I liked this as it gave him some much needed character development.
Raw Womens Title: Eve Torres vs. Alicia Fox
Id bet on the champion retaining here but then again Eve is about ten times hotter so there we are. Eve is freaking gorgeous but allegedly management is REALLY happy with Fox for no apparent reason. Matt points out that the Divas Title hasnt ever changed hands in Kansas City. Could that be because the belt has only been around for like three years and its only had like 4 holders?
The crowd is of course dead for this as theyre spent from the first match. But remember, the Divas are IMPORTANT and NOT eye candy. Yeah the only think I care about here is how good Eve looks in those gold shorts. She has great legs and abs. Alicia works on the back a lot and it sucks even more life out of this if thats possible.
Eve gets the weakest clap from the audience Ive ever heard. Eve does some decent stuff but this just needs to end. Cross body only gets one. The match isnt terrible but its just not interesting at all. WE GET PSYCHOLOGY as Eve gets hit in the back and it sets up the Axe Kick to end it. THANK YOU! Now is THAT so hard to work into a match?
We review Swagger being a dick on Friday which was great for him. Allegedly that was Bunkhouse Buck from WCW. Swagger is on the phone with his mom and says his dad was living through him so this was deserved. This is GREAT.
Unified Tag Titles: Uso Brothers vs. Hart Dynasty
Given the fact that we havent seen anything from the Usos other than 6 man tags and a squash win on Superstars, I cant picture them winning yet. The Uso in shorts starts vs. David. We go through the list of guys from the Hart Dungeon and barely scratch the surface. Thats Jay apparently and the crowd is somehow even MORE dead for this. Wow this is basic stuff.
We get the Umaga ass smash of death to the face of Smith as this is more or less just a Raw match. They mention the taped up thumb which is a tribute to a fallen Samoan who they dont name. That would be Umaga but he never existed. Kidd makes what is supposed to be a hot tag but might as well be in Siberia. Kidd hits a SWEET sunset flip into a rollup but gets caught in an Alley-Oop Samoan Drop.
The top rope splash from Jimmy gets knees though and David gets a small reaction on a tag. The girls go at it for a bit as Kidd beats up Jay. The Sharpshooter on Jimmy ends this fairly easy. Just a somewhat longer Raw match. Cole says this could elevate them to a new level. Uh, what level is that? Venezuelan tag champions?
Ad for Criss Angels new season which is the shows sponsor.
We recap Swagger vs. Rey which is just a rematch from Swagger not losing the title in a one on one match. Oh and Rey has a bad ankle thanks to Swagger.
Smackdown World Title: Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio
I love that little run around the ring that he does when he gets there. Rey limps a lot which makes me accept that hes going to retain here. Big match intros make almost any match better. This should be good anyway though as both guys tend to work well together. Apparently being educated is a huge thing for Swagger and gives him an advantage. WWE supports education and since Linda McMahon is a WWE person, Linda McMahon supports education. Thats almost as much of a stretch as WWE has a tag division.
Rey hits a seated senton to the floor and hurts his leg again. Striker thinks Swagger hurt his head when he rams his head into the buckle. Gee you think? Striker hits the running up the ropes belly to belly which is always nice. Swagger stands on Reys ankle on the floor. Why couldnt he be this ruthless when he was champion? At least theyre going with a basic story here before Rey makes his Superman comeback.
Rey hits one oh his thousand rana variations to send Swagger into the buckle but hurts his ankle on the modified moonsault. Swagger is getting better with every match he has. Swagger gets the powerbomb but Rey gets the foot on the ropes because he hooks the wrong leg like an idiot. Why does that never happen any other time? Swagger goes for .something off the middle rope but Rey reverses into a tornado DDT. I think it was a powerslam off the top but it didnt work.
Rey is finally called Superman as he hits the 619. Amazing that a guy with a torn tendon could manage to get a running start for a move like that. Ankle lock is on but he makes the ropes. Vader Bomb hits but no cover. A second one hits and still no cover. Rey takes the boot off of his foot like Eddie (yeah Im shocked too) and rolls up Swagger for the pin. Swagger beats him up post match and hooks the ankle lock. Kane comes out for the save and chases Swagger off but doesnt cash in.
SCRATCH THAT! Kane comes back, this time with music, a referee and the briefcase! If he loses here .sweet damn Ill hurt someone.
Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kane
Rey tries to run but Kane hits a chokeslam and then a Tombstone. YES! KANE IS WORLD CHAMPION!!!!!! Screw any kind of unbiasedness or whatever. THIS IS AWESOME!
Rating: A+. The tiny man loses and Kane is world champion. This is GREAT!
Jericho and Edge both say theyll win.
Smackdown Womens Title: Layla vs. Kelly Kelly
Kelly looks awesome tonight as does Michelle. No one cares about this obviously but theyre a bit awake here. Kelly hits her K2 thing but Michelle grabs the leg and puts it on the ropes. Kelly goes for a sunset flip off the second rope and Layla goes British Bulldog on her for the pin. Yeah whatever.
Raw Money in the Bank
Orton gets the kind of home town pop but its still a huge one as you would expect. Miz is the dark horse pick to win but he likely wont. Mark Henry needs to get lost in the desert somewhere. DiBiase is growing on me. Theyre going through the intros much faster here than they did in the first match. Maryse in a red dress works very well. Morrison is someone that is a wild card here but Id bet on him not winning. Him giving away the sunglasses is great. Jericho is the main event filler guy here which is fine for a guy at his state in his career. Bourne is here for high spots more than likely. Edge is probably the Drew McIntyre here: the guy you expect to win but doesnt.
They do a lot of basic stuff to get us going which is what you would expect. Edge stops Bourne but Bourne hits a sweet rana to take him down. Orton this the DDT off the second rung of the ladder which is a nice little variation on it. Morrison kind of falls down and hits his head on the ladder which wasnt planned. He looks ok though. Morrison gets some solid reactions here and takes out Miz and DiBiase.
This match suffers from being the second of these matches in less than two hours. The spots dont look as impressive as they did when we hadnt seen them in four months. Henry shoves four guys off two ladders and everyone is down. Maryse goes into the ring and sets up a ladder with everyone down. She takes forever to climb the thing as the question of can anyone climb the ladder and get the case is raised. Morrison stops her and nothing really comes of it.
Everyone is apparently dead again as people are all out on the floor other than Miz. Striker names Mizs fans Mizfits. Dude, stop trying so hard. Morrison does a modified Shelton spot by being slingshotted into the ladder on the floor but holding on. He then grabs one standing in the corner and slides over on it to get on the ladder Edge is on. Nice spot. Edge and Miz get Morrison stuck between the rungs of a ladder and beat him up. Edge slams the ladder into Mizs face in a perfectly Edge spot.
Henry takes over for a bit but gets the Big Show treatment from earlier including a Codebreaker and Spear on the floor. Everything goes insane again and Air Bourne hits. He almost gets up to the case but cant unhook it a la Swagger. We get Canadian violence as Edge and Jericho fight atop the ladder. RKO OFF THE LADDER ON JERICHO!
Orton LOOKS at a ladder and gets the biggest pop of the night. He almost has it but Miz makes the save. MIZ WINS IT! HOLY FLYING FUCKSTICK! Miz gets a mic as the announcers cant believe what theyre seeing. Miz says that everyone here is living in his moment. He says this means he made it and hes right. This is totally believable here and given where he was just like three years ago (chick magnet) two years ago (in a tag team like say David Hart Smith is now) or even a year ago (parodying Cena) this is AMAZING.
We recap Cena vs. Sheamus with the Nexus involved, which makes this a very interesting main event.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Sheamus
Its in a cage, which is somehow supposed to stop the Nexus somehow. Theres no top on it that I can see so I dont get the theory there. This starts pretty slowly and then picks up a bit. The fans are anti-Cena. He also has stitches from a cut on Raw Monday. Cena wants an ELBOW apparently. Theyre pretty much just killing time here until the Nexus stuff starts. Its not bad or anything but its kind of uneventful.
After about five minutes of somewhat interesting stuff, Sheamus hooks a sleeper and Cena climbs up the ropes with him on his back. This is pin, submission or escape in case you were wondering. Cena stars his usual ending sequence but of course it doesnt work. Sheamus gets him tied up in the ropes and does a nice pose. Why he doesnt leave through the door and then come back for the beatdown is anyones guess.
Sheamus climbs over him but the less white guy gets out and hits a bulldog from the top. Were just going through the motions here but its picking up pretty well. Pump Kick and FU get two and HERE THEY COME! Tarver has boltcutters but they want the key anyway. The referee on the floor throws it into the crowd. FU is blocked and down goes the referee. Sheamus taps to the STFU but theres no referee .other than the one outside thats looking at it but whatever.
Nexus stops Cena from getting out with Gabriel climbing up to stop him. Cena knocks him into the cage but gets stopped again. Sheamus goes up and gets stopped too by Slater. He gets out though and Sheamus gets out before SPRINTING away. No Miz tonight I guess which is good.
Cena is left alone with Young and Tarver for some reason which I guess means hes not alone. Young has less hair here too it seems. Let the beatdown begin. He rams the steps into Tarver, more or less killing him. He takes an armband and leaves, sans title to end the show.
Results
Kane won the Smackdown MITB match
Alicia Fox b. Eve Torres Axe Kick
Hart Dynasty b. Uso Brothers Sharpshooter to Jay
Rey Mysterio b. Jack Swagger Standing Hurricanrana
Kane b. Rey Mysterio Tombstone Piledriver
Layla b. Kelly Kelly Reversed Sunset Flip
Sheamus b. John Cena Escaped cage
Quick Results
Raw
Alicia Fox b. Gail Kim Axe Kick
Usos/Tamina b. Hart Dynasty Top rope splash to Smith
Edge b. Randy Orton Edge-O-Matic
The Miz vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest
Santino Bunch b. Regal Bunch Khali Chop to Doink
Nexus b. John Cena 450 Splash
NXT
Mark Henry/Lucky Cannon b. Alex Riley/Miz Worlds Strongest Slam to Riley
Nexus won a Battle Royal
Impact
Sarita b. Taylor Wilde Choked Wilde out with a womans purse
Brian Kendrick b. Doug Williams Cobra Clutch
Beer Money b. Motor City Machine Guns Storm grabbed the contract
DAngelo Dinero b. Matt Morgan Codebreaker
Jeff Hardy b. Jay Lethal Swanton Bomb
Smackdown
Kofi Kingston vs. Cody Rhodes went to a no contest Kane interference
Drew McIntyre b. Christian Futureshock DDT
Chris Masters/Kelly Kelly b. Layla/Trent Baretta K2 to Layla
Dolph Ziggler b. Matt Hardy Zig Zag
Money in the Bank
Kane won the Smackdown MITB match
Alicia Fox b. Eve Torres Axe Kick
Hart Dynasty b. Uso Brothers Sharpshooter to Jay
Rey Mysterio b. Jack Swagger Standing Hurricanrana
Kane b. Rey Mysterio Tombstone Piledriver
Layla b. Kelly Kelly Reversed Sunset Flip
Sheamus b. John Cena Escaped cage