klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Friday
Smackdown
Date: July 5, 2013
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
We now know everyone in the MITB matches at the PPV so tonight is likely to be all about building towards the match, much like on Raw. Other than that we're likely to get more between Ziggler and Del Rio after Dolph cost the champ a match against Cena. If we're lucky we'll even get more Daniel Bryan goodness. Let's get to it.
The opening airs for the second week in a row. It's better than the voiceover.
Here's Punk to get us going. We get a clip of him getting annoyed at Curtis Axel for stealing the pin in their tag match on Raw. Punk says if he was Cena, he'd come out here and make a big speech about the 4th of July and how awesome it is, but thankfully for the fans, his name is CM Punk. To him, the 4th of July is about independence. A group of like minded guys got together and decided to not live by someone else's rules. They were willing to die for what they believed in and that's something Punk can get behind.
If Punk is given rules to follow, odds are he's going to break them. When someone tells him to do something one way, odds are he's going to run in the other direction. When he was told he was going to be the big thing after Wrestlemania, he walked away. When someone told him that his chances at winning another MITB match were really low, he decided to line them up and yell at them. He has two goals: get his hands on Brock Lesnar and become WWE Champion again.
Cue Alberto (Punk: I wasn't done.) who says he was expecting more from Punk. Punk says he was expecting a cool car instead of just a guy in a cheap suit. Del Rio brags about being world champion and says this is his show. Alberto makes fun of Americans for stuffing themselves with hamburgers and hot dogs on Independence Day and then spending the rest of the year getting fatter and fatter. Then they come to Smackdown and cheer for Dolph Ziggler while chanting USA.
Punk wants to know why Del Rio has changed his tune so quickly. Just a few weeks ago Del Rio was bragging about being born in Mexico and made in the USA, but then everyone saw through him. Del Rio says Punk is a little chihuahua and someone like the world heavyweight champion needs to teach him some manners. Punk: That just makes you the #1 contender to my title: Best in the world. Nice line. Del Rio orders Punk out of his ring right now but remember Punk doesn't like being told what to do. Teddy, main event made, moving on. This was a solid opening segment but unfortunately it results in a Del Rio main event.
Post break Heyman asks Punk if he can get the match canceled because Punk has nothing to gain. Punk says he wants to fight so Heyman offers to be in Punk's corner at MITB. Punk declines again and Heyman looks annoyed.
Usos vs. Rhodes Scholars
The Scholars brag about winning MITB in nine days but the fans don't seem to buy it. Cody starts with Jimmy but ramming the Samoan's head into the buckle has no effect. I miss racial stereotypes in wrestling. Cody dropkicks Jimmy down and brings in Sandow to stomp away for a few seconds. The Russian legsweep sets up the Wind-Up Elbow for two before it's back to Rhodes. Things quickly break down and both Scholars get superkicked, setting up a double Superfly Splash for the pin on Sandow at 2:17.
Post match the Shield pops up on screen and says the loss on Raw isn't derailing their mission of justice. At Money in the Bank, the Usos are going to need more than luck. Ambrose says that Monday was Christian's one chance out of 100 to get lucky. Prepare to live in a world where Dean Ambrose is waiting in the shadows with a Money in the Bank briefcase.
Alicia Fox vs. Kaitlyn
Fox drives Kaitlyn into the corner to start and gets two off a quick suplex. We hit the chinlock thirty seconds into the match before Alicia slams Kaitlyn head first into the mat. Back to the chinlock but Kaitlyn fights up....and here's AJ to skip around the ring. Kaitlyn fights the urge to stare at AJ for a bit but finally knocks her off the apron, allowing Alicia to hit the most devastating move in all of wrestling: the ROLLUP OF DISTRACTION, for the pin at 2:45.
Post match the Bellas stop AJ and say that she needs to watch out because they'll be taking the Divas Title soon. Langston runs them off but AJ is scared of Kaitlyn coming to get her. It isn't that bad though because Kaitlyn is less aerodynamic because of those big man arms. Langston wants to know what AJ is going to do for Dolph's match later but she'll just text him and it'll be all cool.
We recap the events between Bryan, Kane and Orton in their match on Monday.
Christian says that he's beaten Orton before and he can do it again tonight. Orton says he's beaten Christian before and he'll do it again tonight in one more match.
Wyatt Family promo.
Randy Orton vs. Christian
Feeling out process to start with Orton taking Chrsitian down with a shoulder. A clothesline gets two for Randy but Christian sends him throat first into the middle rope. Christian tries the uppercut from the floor but Orton ducks away and tries the Elevated DDT, only to have Christian counter with a backdrop to the floor. We take a break and come back with Orton getting up from a missed knee drop but coming back with the Thesz Press.
Christian snaps Orton's throat across the top rope and gets two off the high cross before putting on a chinlock. Randy escapes and they slug it out again with Orton dropkicking Christian down. He tries the powerslam but Christian puts on the brakes to send Orton down. Instead Randy drives down punches in the corner and gets two off the falling powerbomb (think the Big Ending but with Christian facing up).
Christian avoids an RKO out of the corner but gets caught in a rolling cradle for two. Both finishers are countered and Christian puts Orton down with a belly to back suplex. The spear gets two but the Killswitch is countered into the Elevated DDT but Christian counters the RKO yet again. Christian jumps over Orton but walks into the RKO for the pin at 9:48 shown of 12:48.
Teddy Long tells Heyman to do commentary on the main event tonight.
We get a clip from the App with Ziggler telling AJ to see the big picture: forget Kaitlyn and become a power couple.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre
Before the match Ziggler talks about how fast the last few months have gone. He won the world title from Alberto Del Rio and then Del Rio was trying as hard as he could to make people like him. Ziggler may be cocky, but he's never claimed to be something he's not. At MITB, he's taking back his world title.
Dolph fires off right hands in the corner but a hurricanrana attempt is countered into a buckle bomb for two. Drew stomps him in the corner and gets two off a snap suplex. A chinlock is quickly broken so Drew puts him down with a pair of backbreakers. Ziggler comes back with the corner splash and a dropkick before countering a tilt-a-whirl into the Zig Zag for the pin at 3:11.
Ziggler bails to avoid a three on one attack. He charges back in, gets in a few shots and then bails again to mess with the Band.
We get the career retrospective on Mark Henry from Raw.
Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel
Fandango quickly takes him down and dances a bit, only to have Gabriel kick his head off. Justin sends him face first into the apron but charges into a knee to the face. The top rope legdrop is good for the pin on Justin at 1:36.
We The People talk about how many Americans don't appreciate the Fourth of July.
Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk
Heyman is on commentary. They take turns shoving each other into the corner with Punk snapmaring him down and hitting a dropkick to the back of Alberto's head. Del Rio fires off right hands in the corner but misses a charge to put him down. Alberto rolls to the floor to avoid the Macho Elbow and we take a break. Back with Del Rio hitting a running kick to the arm in the corner before putting on an armbar. The low superkick gets two on Punk as Heyman talks about Cole being a Paul Heyman guy back in the day.
The armbar is countered into a GTS attempt but Del Rio escapes into the Codebreaker to the arm for two. A kick to the head gets two more and it's back to the armbar. Del Rio may be boring but his psychology is sound. If your finishing move is an arm hold, why focus on anything but softening up the arm? Punk slams him down and goes up top but Alberto hits a nasty running enziguri for two.
Punk comes back with some kicks and clotheslines but charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A baseball slide sends him to the floor and Del Rio whips him shoulder first into the barricade. Alberto loads up the announce table and punches Heyman down, sending Punk into a rage. It's a double countout at 7:40 shown of 10:40. Lillian calls it a no contest by way of a double countout. Are we not allowed to say draw anymore?
Del Rio takes the GTS and Punk checks on Heyman to end the show.
Results
Usos b. Rhodes Scholars Double Superfly Splash to Sandow
Alicia Fox b. Kaitlyn Rollup
Randy Orton b. Christian RKO
Dolph Ziggler b. Drew McIntyre Zig Zag
Fandango b. Justin Gabriel Top rope legdrop
CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio went to a double countout
Hardcore Justice 2
Date: July 5, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash
It's the third One Night Only show with an odd title. There were three regular PPVs called Hardcore Justice, so how can this be the second one? Anyway the theme of the night is obvious, but the bonus attraction is bringing back people who haven't performed for the company in a long time, such as Generation Me and Homicide. There are a ton of gimmick matches tonight so let's get to it.
The opening video is about how the company goes hardcore one night of the year. We get clips of the matches we're about to watch.
Every match tonight will be some form of a hardcore match.
We get a highlight reel of hardcore moments in TNA's history.
Disciples of the New Church vs. LAX
This is a street fight. The Disciples are a team from the early days of the company and are comprised of Sinn (Kizarny from about five years ago in WWE) and Slash (member of PG-13, a Memphis tag team). Sinn is in a tie and pink pants and Slash is in something resembling shoulder pads. Homicide starts with Slash (thankfully minus the pads) and the later howls a bit. A jumping back elbow gets two for Homicide as we're still in the tagging portion of the match. Homicide gets two more off a tornado DDT out of the corner and it's off to SuperMex.
Off to Slash who is immediately taken down by an over the shoulder backbreaker before being catapulted into a Homicide lariat for two. The Disciples take over on Homicide but Hernandez comes in to clean house as things break down. Hernandez puts on a hard hat for some reason as Homicide bulldogs Slash on the apron. Sinn gets beaten up with a stop sign before being sent back inside by Homicide.
All four guys are back in now and this is a pretty lame street fight. Slash misses a Swanton Bomb and gets choked by Homicide as we get back to the tagging. Homicide gets caught in a reverse FU from Slash but things break down again. Slash is sent to the floor and Homicide lays out Sinn with a Gringo Cutter, setting up a top rope splash from Hernandez for the pin.
ODB is ready to get hardcore with Jack......DANG IT JACKIE MOORE IS HERE AGAIN.
Video on Jackie and ODB being hardcore.
Jackie Moore vs. ODB
This is a regular hardcore match. ODB takes her to the floor for some HARDCORE spanking but Jackie chops her back. Jackie brings in a broom and what appears to be Vaseline. ODB comes back with hair mousse down Jackie's pants. Seriously just go with it. She finds some lipstick and a leather boot under the ring as my head is starting to hurt.
Jackie knocks her down with the boot before choking away with a veil. More broom stick shots to the back keep ODB down but she comes back with some forearms to the face followed by a Bronco Buster. Jackie throws powder in ODB's face but ODB spits beer (from the flask) in Jackie's face and the Bam (TKO) gets the pin.
Bad Influence says they're ready for Generation Me in their ladder match for $20,000. Daniels says he's more of a softcore guy (That Cinemax style.) and rhymes a bit about Generation Me.
Bad Influence vs. Generation Me
Ladder match as mentioned and Generation Me are Max and Jeremy Buck. They all shake hands to start but but everyone turns on everyone like true heels should. Generation Me takes over with some quick neckbreakers but Bad Influence takes them down with strikes. We get the first ladders brought in as this is moving very fast so far. Jeremy starts climbing but Kaz pelts another ladder at him for the save. The fans seem to be behind the Bucks as Kaz hits a TKO on Max from the top of the ladder.
Daniels gets backdropped onto a ladder and Kaz gets the same via a monkey flip. A ladder is bridged between the ring and the ladder so Max can spear Kaz down under said ladder. Daniels is dropkicked off the apron onto the ladder but Kaz saves his partner from being splashed through the ladder. Jeremy suplexes Kaz from the apron onto the ladder in a very painful looking landing.
Daniels is stuck in the ring with both Bucks but manages to shove Max off the ladder onto the top rope but Max lands on his feet on the rope and springboards down to take out Kaz. AWESOME bit of balance there. Jeremy goes up but Kaz pops back in with a springboard dropkick to make the save. All of the ladders are down now and a sliding dropkick from Kaz sends Max to the floor. Jeremy makes another save on Daniels by slamming him face first into the mat to put him down. Kaz and Max go up but Daniels throws the Appletini into Buck's face, allowing Kaz to pull the check down for the win.
Preview for the Ten Anniversary next month, which is a celebration of the first ten years of the company.
Joseph Park doesn't have a match tonight but is glad to be here. He talks about some hardcore matches Abyss had over the years. James Mitchel and Judas Mesias come in and say they're looking for Abyss for revenge. If Abyss doesn't show up, Park has to take his place in the monster's ball match.
We recap the first three matches. Do we really need to do that after less than an hour on the air?
Bad Influence is taking the world over, one Appletini at a time.
Hardcore Gauntlet Battle Royal
Everyone gets to bring a weapon with them and it's a new entrant every two minutes. Usually in TNA gauntlet matches it's over the top rope eliminations until the final two when it's pin/submission but there's no mention of the rules changing for the final two here. We start with Devon Storm who brings a golf club and Little Guido who brings in a dust bin. They fight over the golf club until Storm suplexes Guido down to take over.
Some golf club shots to the back have Guido in trouble but he comes back with a basement dropkick to take over. Guido puts on a Crossface with the club used to choke Storm until Crimson with his umbrella is #3 (out of nine). Crimson cleans house with the umbrella and a big book to Guido. Storm gets double teamed for a bit until Sam Shaw is #4 with a cane. Shaw spins out of a backdrop from Crimson before taking him down with a dropkick. There's nothing of note going on at all here.
Johnny Swinger is #5 with a crutch but he's gone in about 40 seconds at Guido's hands. Crimson hits Guido with the umbrella and leaves some impressive marks on his back as a result. Funaki of all people is #6 with a guardrail. We get the Terry Funk/Sandman/Tommy Dreamer spinning metal object spot from Funaki and the rail until Funaki superkicks Guido out. Gunner is #7 with a nightstick and the fans chant welcome back, showing the issues with a taped PPV.
Gunner tosses Storm out and hits Shaw in the face with a golf club. It's 2 Cold Scorpio at #8 with a broom to pop the crowd a bit. Shaw trades forearms with Scorpio but gets monkey flipped out. JB: Unbelievable! No, not really. Shark Boy is #9 with a bag ala Jake Roberts. It's Crimson/Gunner vs. Scorpio/Funaki/Sharky with Scorpio hitting a sunset bomb on Gunner to put him down. A middle rope Harlem Hangover hits Crimson and Funaki goes up as well, only to be tossed by Scorpio and Sharky.
Crimson clotheslines Scorpio out and hit a double chokeslam on Sharky. They start throwing weapons out but they're afraid of the bag. Both of them look in the bag and freak out, allowing Shark Boy to hit Chummers (Stunner) to both guys. Shark Boy pulls.....a fish out of the bag. The fish bites Gunner and a fish shot eliminates Crimson. Sharky backdrops Gunner out for the win.
Aces and 8's are ready for their six man tag tonight and don't care who Storm/Magnus' mystery partner is.
We recap Bully Ray's master plan with Aces and 8's. The amount of time (this runs like 5 minutes) they're spending on recaps here tells me they were running out of ideas for these marathon PPV tapings.
Aces and 8's vs. James Storm/Magnus/???
It's Brisco/Knux/Doc here and this is under hardcore elimination rules. Storm's surprise partner: Bob Hardcore Holly. Holly has a big chest/shoulder tattoo now which screams mid life crisis. He's in jeans and sneakers here as he starts with Knux and stomps him down in the corner. Off to Brisco who gets kicked between the legs before it's off to Storm. The fans are more fired up for this match than they've been for almost anything tonight.
Storm hits a quick running enziguri in the corner but gets caught in the back by Doc who comes in off a tag. James knocks him down by like a superstar knocking down a big enforcer before bringing in Magnus. They go to the floor for a bit until Magnus gets caught in the wrong corner. Brisco drives shoulders into the Brit's ribs before it's off to Doc for right hands. Magnus is crushed by a corner clothesline and it's back to Knux who gets two off a side slam.
Brisco hooks a cravate followed by a chinlock before it's back to Doc for a snap suplex. Magnus escapes a chokeslam and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Hot tag brings in Storm to face Brisco as things break down. It's off to Holly with what looks like a pipe to clean house, only to have Knux hit a big boot to slow him down.
A powerbomb is countered into the Alabama Slam to eliminate Knux but Brisco rolls Holly up for a quick elimination. Magnus blasts Brisco in the head with a trashcan lid and gets a pin off a falcon's arrow, only to walk into a chokeslam from Doc to get it down to one on one. Doc blasts Storm with the trashcan lid for two but spends too much time boasting, allowing Storm to hit the Closing Time and Last Call for the final pin.
We recap Abyss vs. James Mitchell which is a feud that went on for YEARS. Mitchell is Abyss' father (no word on if he's Park's dad) and brought in Judas Mesias (Abyss' stepbrother) to attack Abyss with barbed wire. A long blood feud followed.
Joseph Park is in the back and is panicking since no one has seen Abyss.
We get a video on the history of Monster's Ball, which is TNA's signature hardcore match.
Mesias vs. Joseph Park
There's no Abyss so Park has to take his place in this monster's ball match. Park shoves the much smaller Mesias around and avoids a charge in the corner, only to get jumped from behind and pounded against the ropes. Park misses a charge in the corner and gets taken down by a spear, allowing for the first weapons to come in. Park gets a trashcan lid but gets hit in the stomach with a hockey stick before he can swing it.
They head to the outside with Park's comeback being stopped cold by a whip into the steps. Back in and Mesias stays on offense with a faceplant, only to miss a top rope splash. Park comes back with some shoulder blocks and puts the trashcan over Mesias' crotch for a shot with a steel pipe. A chair is wedged between the ropes but Mesias comes back with a trashcan shot to Park's back for two.
Park hits him low with a cheese grater and gets in some shots with a kendo stick for two. He tries a seated senton onto a chair onto Mesias but gets crotched just in time. Park sends him head first into the wedged chair but the middle rope splash only gets two. A hockey stick shot busts Park's nose, Abyss mode, Black Hole Slam and pin.
Post match Park goes after Mitchell but comes back to reality just in time.
Team 3D says they're reuniting in a tables match tonight against Brother Runt and some mystery partner. It won't be Dreamer, Sandman or Sabu because they're either fat, drunk or in a hospital. D-Von does the Dudley Commandments for the first time in years.
Video on people going through tables.
Team 3D vs. Brother Runt/???
Tables match of course. It's surprising to see Bully as an Ace when that turn wasn't until months after this was taped. D-Von corners So Cal Val in the corner but doesn't shove his crotch in her face at least. Bully Ray cuts a long and dull promo before the match about the awesomeness of Tea 3D while insulting a bunch of fans. Ray takes some jabs at Holly for no apparent reason before talking about using Runt as a pawn during the wedding to Brooke. He makes the same jokes about Dreamer and Sandman while saying Runt has no partner. Runt comes out and has a partner: Jeff Hardy.
The Dudleys send Jeff to the floor before Bubba drives Runt's glasses into his forehead. D-Von beats on Runt with basic power stuff but Runt blocks a suplex, only to be taken down by a clothesline. Off to Ray for a wishbone split before yelling at Earl Hebner in the corner. Ray blocks the Dudley Dog and breaks up a sunset flip attempt but D-Von misses a middle rope headbutt, allowing Runt to make the hot tag.
Jeff cleans house with a low dropkick on D-Von as things break down. Bully kicks Jeff down but the Dudleys can't hit What's Up. Instead it's Runt hitting one on D-Von before calling for the tables. Jeff brings in a table but Team 3D takes over again. A double suplex to Runt misses the table and Jeff hits a Twisting Stunner on D-Von. Runt adds the Dog to put D-Von on the table but Ray makes the save. Jeff and Runt take over again and Hardy splashes D-Von through a table (barely) for the win. It's as lame of a build as it sounds.
Results
LAX b. Disciples of the New Church Top rope splash to Slash
ODB b. Jackie The Bam
Bad Influence b. Generation Me Kazarian pulled down the check
Shark Boy won a hardcore gauntlet battle royal last eliminating Gunner
James Storm/Magnus/Bob Holly b. Aces and 8's Last Call to Doc
Joseph Park b. Mesias Black Hole Slam
Jeff Hardy/Brother Runt b. Team 3D Hardy splashed D-Von through a table
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing else.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Shield b. Usos/Christian Rollup to Christian
Dolph Ziggler b. Jinder Mahal Zig Zag
Kane b. Randy Orton Big Boot
Sheamus b. Fandango via countout
The Miz b. Ryback via surrender
CM Punk/Curtis Axel b. Prime Time Players GTS to Young
Kaitlyn b. Alicia Fox Spear
Antonio Cesaro b. Cody Rhodes Neutralizer
John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio Attitude Adjustment
NXT
Paige b. Alicia Fox Paige Turner
Conor O'Brien b. Andy Baker Legdrop
Xavier Woods b. Scott Dawson Lost in the Woods
Mason Ryan b. Enzo Amore Right Hand
Mason Ryan b. Colin Cassady Cobra Clutch
Bo Dallas b. Antonio Cesaro Belly to belly suplex
Impact Wrestling
AJ Styles b. Kazarian Calf Killer
Hernandez b. Jay Bradley Shoulder Block
Gunner/James Storm b. Bro Mans Powerslam/neckbreaker combo to Godderz
Jeff Hardy b. Joseph Park via DQ when Park gave the referee a Black Hole Slam
Chris Sabin b. Austin Aries and Manik Hail Sabin from the middle rope to Aries
Smackdown
Usos b. Rhodes Scholars Double Superfly Splash to Sandow
Alicia Fox b. Kaitlyn Rollup
Randy Orton b. Christian RKO
Dolph Ziggler b. Drew McIntyre Zig Zag
Fandango b. Justin Gabriel Top rope legdrop
CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio went to a double countout
Hardcore Justice 2
LAX b. Disciples of the New Church Top rope splash to Slash
ODB b. Jackie The Bam
Bad Influence b. Generation Me Kazarian pulled down the check
Shark Boy won a hardcore gauntlet battle royal last eliminating Gunner
James Storm/Magnus/Bob Holly b. Aces and 8's Last Call to Doc
Joseph Park b. Mesias Black Hole Slam
Jeff Hardy/Brother Runt b. Team 3D Hardy splashed D-Von through a table
Smackdown
Date: July 5, 2013
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
We now know everyone in the MITB matches at the PPV so tonight is likely to be all about building towards the match, much like on Raw. Other than that we're likely to get more between Ziggler and Del Rio after Dolph cost the champ a match against Cena. If we're lucky we'll even get more Daniel Bryan goodness. Let's get to it.
The opening airs for the second week in a row. It's better than the voiceover.
Here's Punk to get us going. We get a clip of him getting annoyed at Curtis Axel for stealing the pin in their tag match on Raw. Punk says if he was Cena, he'd come out here and make a big speech about the 4th of July and how awesome it is, but thankfully for the fans, his name is CM Punk. To him, the 4th of July is about independence. A group of like minded guys got together and decided to not live by someone else's rules. They were willing to die for what they believed in and that's something Punk can get behind.
If Punk is given rules to follow, odds are he's going to break them. When someone tells him to do something one way, odds are he's going to run in the other direction. When he was told he was going to be the big thing after Wrestlemania, he walked away. When someone told him that his chances at winning another MITB match were really low, he decided to line them up and yell at them. He has two goals: get his hands on Brock Lesnar and become WWE Champion again.
Cue Alberto (Punk: I wasn't done.) who says he was expecting more from Punk. Punk says he was expecting a cool car instead of just a guy in a cheap suit. Del Rio brags about being world champion and says this is his show. Alberto makes fun of Americans for stuffing themselves with hamburgers and hot dogs on Independence Day and then spending the rest of the year getting fatter and fatter. Then they come to Smackdown and cheer for Dolph Ziggler while chanting USA.
Punk wants to know why Del Rio has changed his tune so quickly. Just a few weeks ago Del Rio was bragging about being born in Mexico and made in the USA, but then everyone saw through him. Del Rio says Punk is a little chihuahua and someone like the world heavyweight champion needs to teach him some manners. Punk: That just makes you the #1 contender to my title: Best in the world. Nice line. Del Rio orders Punk out of his ring right now but remember Punk doesn't like being told what to do. Teddy, main event made, moving on. This was a solid opening segment but unfortunately it results in a Del Rio main event.
Post break Heyman asks Punk if he can get the match canceled because Punk has nothing to gain. Punk says he wants to fight so Heyman offers to be in Punk's corner at MITB. Punk declines again and Heyman looks annoyed.
Usos vs. Rhodes Scholars
The Scholars brag about winning MITB in nine days but the fans don't seem to buy it. Cody starts with Jimmy but ramming the Samoan's head into the buckle has no effect. I miss racial stereotypes in wrestling. Cody dropkicks Jimmy down and brings in Sandow to stomp away for a few seconds. The Russian legsweep sets up the Wind-Up Elbow for two before it's back to Rhodes. Things quickly break down and both Scholars get superkicked, setting up a double Superfly Splash for the pin on Sandow at 2:17.
Post match the Shield pops up on screen and says the loss on Raw isn't derailing their mission of justice. At Money in the Bank, the Usos are going to need more than luck. Ambrose says that Monday was Christian's one chance out of 100 to get lucky. Prepare to live in a world where Dean Ambrose is waiting in the shadows with a Money in the Bank briefcase.
Alicia Fox vs. Kaitlyn
Fox drives Kaitlyn into the corner to start and gets two off a quick suplex. We hit the chinlock thirty seconds into the match before Alicia slams Kaitlyn head first into the mat. Back to the chinlock but Kaitlyn fights up....and here's AJ to skip around the ring. Kaitlyn fights the urge to stare at AJ for a bit but finally knocks her off the apron, allowing Alicia to hit the most devastating move in all of wrestling: the ROLLUP OF DISTRACTION, for the pin at 2:45.
Post match the Bellas stop AJ and say that she needs to watch out because they'll be taking the Divas Title soon. Langston runs them off but AJ is scared of Kaitlyn coming to get her. It isn't that bad though because Kaitlyn is less aerodynamic because of those big man arms. Langston wants to know what AJ is going to do for Dolph's match later but she'll just text him and it'll be all cool.
We recap the events between Bryan, Kane and Orton in their match on Monday.
Christian says that he's beaten Orton before and he can do it again tonight. Orton says he's beaten Christian before and he'll do it again tonight in one more match.
Wyatt Family promo.
Randy Orton vs. Christian
Feeling out process to start with Orton taking Chrsitian down with a shoulder. A clothesline gets two for Randy but Christian sends him throat first into the middle rope. Christian tries the uppercut from the floor but Orton ducks away and tries the Elevated DDT, only to have Christian counter with a backdrop to the floor. We take a break and come back with Orton getting up from a missed knee drop but coming back with the Thesz Press.
Christian snaps Orton's throat across the top rope and gets two off the high cross before putting on a chinlock. Randy escapes and they slug it out again with Orton dropkicking Christian down. He tries the powerslam but Christian puts on the brakes to send Orton down. Instead Randy drives down punches in the corner and gets two off the falling powerbomb (think the Big Ending but with Christian facing up).
Christian avoids an RKO out of the corner but gets caught in a rolling cradle for two. Both finishers are countered and Christian puts Orton down with a belly to back suplex. The spear gets two but the Killswitch is countered into the Elevated DDT but Christian counters the RKO yet again. Christian jumps over Orton but walks into the RKO for the pin at 9:48 shown of 12:48.
Teddy Long tells Heyman to do commentary on the main event tonight.
We get a clip from the App with Ziggler telling AJ to see the big picture: forget Kaitlyn and become a power couple.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre
Before the match Ziggler talks about how fast the last few months have gone. He won the world title from Alberto Del Rio and then Del Rio was trying as hard as he could to make people like him. Ziggler may be cocky, but he's never claimed to be something he's not. At MITB, he's taking back his world title.
Dolph fires off right hands in the corner but a hurricanrana attempt is countered into a buckle bomb for two. Drew stomps him in the corner and gets two off a snap suplex. A chinlock is quickly broken so Drew puts him down with a pair of backbreakers. Ziggler comes back with the corner splash and a dropkick before countering a tilt-a-whirl into the Zig Zag for the pin at 3:11.
Ziggler bails to avoid a three on one attack. He charges back in, gets in a few shots and then bails again to mess with the Band.
We get the career retrospective on Mark Henry from Raw.
Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel
Fandango quickly takes him down and dances a bit, only to have Gabriel kick his head off. Justin sends him face first into the apron but charges into a knee to the face. The top rope legdrop is good for the pin on Justin at 1:36.
We The People talk about how many Americans don't appreciate the Fourth of July.
Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk
Heyman is on commentary. They take turns shoving each other into the corner with Punk snapmaring him down and hitting a dropkick to the back of Alberto's head. Del Rio fires off right hands in the corner but misses a charge to put him down. Alberto rolls to the floor to avoid the Macho Elbow and we take a break. Back with Del Rio hitting a running kick to the arm in the corner before putting on an armbar. The low superkick gets two on Punk as Heyman talks about Cole being a Paul Heyman guy back in the day.
The armbar is countered into a GTS attempt but Del Rio escapes into the Codebreaker to the arm for two. A kick to the head gets two more and it's back to the armbar. Del Rio may be boring but his psychology is sound. If your finishing move is an arm hold, why focus on anything but softening up the arm? Punk slams him down and goes up top but Alberto hits a nasty running enziguri for two.
Punk comes back with some kicks and clotheslines but charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A baseball slide sends him to the floor and Del Rio whips him shoulder first into the barricade. Alberto loads up the announce table and punches Heyman down, sending Punk into a rage. It's a double countout at 7:40 shown of 10:40. Lillian calls it a no contest by way of a double countout. Are we not allowed to say draw anymore?
Del Rio takes the GTS and Punk checks on Heyman to end the show.
Results
Usos b. Rhodes Scholars Double Superfly Splash to Sandow
Alicia Fox b. Kaitlyn Rollup
Randy Orton b. Christian RKO
Dolph Ziggler b. Drew McIntyre Zig Zag
Fandango b. Justin Gabriel Top rope legdrop
CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio went to a double countout
Hardcore Justice 2
Date: July 5, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash
It's the third One Night Only show with an odd title. There were three regular PPVs called Hardcore Justice, so how can this be the second one? Anyway the theme of the night is obvious, but the bonus attraction is bringing back people who haven't performed for the company in a long time, such as Generation Me and Homicide. There are a ton of gimmick matches tonight so let's get to it.
The opening video is about how the company goes hardcore one night of the year. We get clips of the matches we're about to watch.
Every match tonight will be some form of a hardcore match.
We get a highlight reel of hardcore moments in TNA's history.
Disciples of the New Church vs. LAX
This is a street fight. The Disciples are a team from the early days of the company and are comprised of Sinn (Kizarny from about five years ago in WWE) and Slash (member of PG-13, a Memphis tag team). Sinn is in a tie and pink pants and Slash is in something resembling shoulder pads. Homicide starts with Slash (thankfully minus the pads) and the later howls a bit. A jumping back elbow gets two for Homicide as we're still in the tagging portion of the match. Homicide gets two more off a tornado DDT out of the corner and it's off to SuperMex.
Off to Slash who is immediately taken down by an over the shoulder backbreaker before being catapulted into a Homicide lariat for two. The Disciples take over on Homicide but Hernandez comes in to clean house as things break down. Hernandez puts on a hard hat for some reason as Homicide bulldogs Slash on the apron. Sinn gets beaten up with a stop sign before being sent back inside by Homicide.
All four guys are back in now and this is a pretty lame street fight. Slash misses a Swanton Bomb and gets choked by Homicide as we get back to the tagging. Homicide gets caught in a reverse FU from Slash but things break down again. Slash is sent to the floor and Homicide lays out Sinn with a Gringo Cutter, setting up a top rope splash from Hernandez for the pin.
ODB is ready to get hardcore with Jack......DANG IT JACKIE MOORE IS HERE AGAIN.
Video on Jackie and ODB being hardcore.
Jackie Moore vs. ODB
This is a regular hardcore match. ODB takes her to the floor for some HARDCORE spanking but Jackie chops her back. Jackie brings in a broom and what appears to be Vaseline. ODB comes back with hair mousse down Jackie's pants. Seriously just go with it. She finds some lipstick and a leather boot under the ring as my head is starting to hurt.
Jackie knocks her down with the boot before choking away with a veil. More broom stick shots to the back keep ODB down but she comes back with some forearms to the face followed by a Bronco Buster. Jackie throws powder in ODB's face but ODB spits beer (from the flask) in Jackie's face and the Bam (TKO) gets the pin.
Bad Influence says they're ready for Generation Me in their ladder match for $20,000. Daniels says he's more of a softcore guy (That Cinemax style.) and rhymes a bit about Generation Me.
Bad Influence vs. Generation Me
Ladder match as mentioned and Generation Me are Max and Jeremy Buck. They all shake hands to start but but everyone turns on everyone like true heels should. Generation Me takes over with some quick neckbreakers but Bad Influence takes them down with strikes. We get the first ladders brought in as this is moving very fast so far. Jeremy starts climbing but Kaz pelts another ladder at him for the save. The fans seem to be behind the Bucks as Kaz hits a TKO on Max from the top of the ladder.
Daniels gets backdropped onto a ladder and Kaz gets the same via a monkey flip. A ladder is bridged between the ring and the ladder so Max can spear Kaz down under said ladder. Daniels is dropkicked off the apron onto the ladder but Kaz saves his partner from being splashed through the ladder. Jeremy suplexes Kaz from the apron onto the ladder in a very painful looking landing.
Daniels is stuck in the ring with both Bucks but manages to shove Max off the ladder onto the top rope but Max lands on his feet on the rope and springboards down to take out Kaz. AWESOME bit of balance there. Jeremy goes up but Kaz pops back in with a springboard dropkick to make the save. All of the ladders are down now and a sliding dropkick from Kaz sends Max to the floor. Jeremy makes another save on Daniels by slamming him face first into the mat to put him down. Kaz and Max go up but Daniels throws the Appletini into Buck's face, allowing Kaz to pull the check down for the win.
Preview for the Ten Anniversary next month, which is a celebration of the first ten years of the company.
Joseph Park doesn't have a match tonight but is glad to be here. He talks about some hardcore matches Abyss had over the years. James Mitchel and Judas Mesias come in and say they're looking for Abyss for revenge. If Abyss doesn't show up, Park has to take his place in the monster's ball match.
We recap the first three matches. Do we really need to do that after less than an hour on the air?
Bad Influence is taking the world over, one Appletini at a time.
Hardcore Gauntlet Battle Royal
Everyone gets to bring a weapon with them and it's a new entrant every two minutes. Usually in TNA gauntlet matches it's over the top rope eliminations until the final two when it's pin/submission but there's no mention of the rules changing for the final two here. We start with Devon Storm who brings a golf club and Little Guido who brings in a dust bin. They fight over the golf club until Storm suplexes Guido down to take over.
Some golf club shots to the back have Guido in trouble but he comes back with a basement dropkick to take over. Guido puts on a Crossface with the club used to choke Storm until Crimson with his umbrella is #3 (out of nine). Crimson cleans house with the umbrella and a big book to Guido. Storm gets double teamed for a bit until Sam Shaw is #4 with a cane. Shaw spins out of a backdrop from Crimson before taking him down with a dropkick. There's nothing of note going on at all here.
Johnny Swinger is #5 with a crutch but he's gone in about 40 seconds at Guido's hands. Crimson hits Guido with the umbrella and leaves some impressive marks on his back as a result. Funaki of all people is #6 with a guardrail. We get the Terry Funk/Sandman/Tommy Dreamer spinning metal object spot from Funaki and the rail until Funaki superkicks Guido out. Gunner is #7 with a nightstick and the fans chant welcome back, showing the issues with a taped PPV.
Gunner tosses Storm out and hits Shaw in the face with a golf club. It's 2 Cold Scorpio at #8 with a broom to pop the crowd a bit. Shaw trades forearms with Scorpio but gets monkey flipped out. JB: Unbelievable! No, not really. Shark Boy is #9 with a bag ala Jake Roberts. It's Crimson/Gunner vs. Scorpio/Funaki/Sharky with Scorpio hitting a sunset bomb on Gunner to put him down. A middle rope Harlem Hangover hits Crimson and Funaki goes up as well, only to be tossed by Scorpio and Sharky.
Crimson clotheslines Scorpio out and hit a double chokeslam on Sharky. They start throwing weapons out but they're afraid of the bag. Both of them look in the bag and freak out, allowing Shark Boy to hit Chummers (Stunner) to both guys. Shark Boy pulls.....a fish out of the bag. The fish bites Gunner and a fish shot eliminates Crimson. Sharky backdrops Gunner out for the win.
Aces and 8's are ready for their six man tag tonight and don't care who Storm/Magnus' mystery partner is.
We recap Bully Ray's master plan with Aces and 8's. The amount of time (this runs like 5 minutes) they're spending on recaps here tells me they were running out of ideas for these marathon PPV tapings.
Aces and 8's vs. James Storm/Magnus/???
It's Brisco/Knux/Doc here and this is under hardcore elimination rules. Storm's surprise partner: Bob Hardcore Holly. Holly has a big chest/shoulder tattoo now which screams mid life crisis. He's in jeans and sneakers here as he starts with Knux and stomps him down in the corner. Off to Brisco who gets kicked between the legs before it's off to Storm. The fans are more fired up for this match than they've been for almost anything tonight.
Storm hits a quick running enziguri in the corner but gets caught in the back by Doc who comes in off a tag. James knocks him down by like a superstar knocking down a big enforcer before bringing in Magnus. They go to the floor for a bit until Magnus gets caught in the wrong corner. Brisco drives shoulders into the Brit's ribs before it's off to Doc for right hands. Magnus is crushed by a corner clothesline and it's back to Knux who gets two off a side slam.
Brisco hooks a cravate followed by a chinlock before it's back to Doc for a snap suplex. Magnus escapes a chokeslam and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Hot tag brings in Storm to face Brisco as things break down. It's off to Holly with what looks like a pipe to clean house, only to have Knux hit a big boot to slow him down.
A powerbomb is countered into the Alabama Slam to eliminate Knux but Brisco rolls Holly up for a quick elimination. Magnus blasts Brisco in the head with a trashcan lid and gets a pin off a falcon's arrow, only to walk into a chokeslam from Doc to get it down to one on one. Doc blasts Storm with the trashcan lid for two but spends too much time boasting, allowing Storm to hit the Closing Time and Last Call for the final pin.
We recap Abyss vs. James Mitchell which is a feud that went on for YEARS. Mitchell is Abyss' father (no word on if he's Park's dad) and brought in Judas Mesias (Abyss' stepbrother) to attack Abyss with barbed wire. A long blood feud followed.
Joseph Park is in the back and is panicking since no one has seen Abyss.
We get a video on the history of Monster's Ball, which is TNA's signature hardcore match.
Mesias vs. Joseph Park
There's no Abyss so Park has to take his place in this monster's ball match. Park shoves the much smaller Mesias around and avoids a charge in the corner, only to get jumped from behind and pounded against the ropes. Park misses a charge in the corner and gets taken down by a spear, allowing for the first weapons to come in. Park gets a trashcan lid but gets hit in the stomach with a hockey stick before he can swing it.
They head to the outside with Park's comeback being stopped cold by a whip into the steps. Back in and Mesias stays on offense with a faceplant, only to miss a top rope splash. Park comes back with some shoulder blocks and puts the trashcan over Mesias' crotch for a shot with a steel pipe. A chair is wedged between the ropes but Mesias comes back with a trashcan shot to Park's back for two.
Park hits him low with a cheese grater and gets in some shots with a kendo stick for two. He tries a seated senton onto a chair onto Mesias but gets crotched just in time. Park sends him head first into the wedged chair but the middle rope splash only gets two. A hockey stick shot busts Park's nose, Abyss mode, Black Hole Slam and pin.
Post match Park goes after Mitchell but comes back to reality just in time.
Team 3D says they're reuniting in a tables match tonight against Brother Runt and some mystery partner. It won't be Dreamer, Sandman or Sabu because they're either fat, drunk or in a hospital. D-Von does the Dudley Commandments for the first time in years.
Video on people going through tables.
Team 3D vs. Brother Runt/???
Tables match of course. It's surprising to see Bully as an Ace when that turn wasn't until months after this was taped. D-Von corners So Cal Val in the corner but doesn't shove his crotch in her face at least. Bully Ray cuts a long and dull promo before the match about the awesomeness of Tea 3D while insulting a bunch of fans. Ray takes some jabs at Holly for no apparent reason before talking about using Runt as a pawn during the wedding to Brooke. He makes the same jokes about Dreamer and Sandman while saying Runt has no partner. Runt comes out and has a partner: Jeff Hardy.
The Dudleys send Jeff to the floor before Bubba drives Runt's glasses into his forehead. D-Von beats on Runt with basic power stuff but Runt blocks a suplex, only to be taken down by a clothesline. Off to Ray for a wishbone split before yelling at Earl Hebner in the corner. Ray blocks the Dudley Dog and breaks up a sunset flip attempt but D-Von misses a middle rope headbutt, allowing Runt to make the hot tag.
Jeff cleans house with a low dropkick on D-Von as things break down. Bully kicks Jeff down but the Dudleys can't hit What's Up. Instead it's Runt hitting one on D-Von before calling for the tables. Jeff brings in a table but Team 3D takes over again. A double suplex to Runt misses the table and Jeff hits a Twisting Stunner on D-Von. Runt adds the Dog to put D-Von on the table but Ray makes the save. Jeff and Runt take over again and Hardy splashes D-Von through a table (barely) for the win. It's as lame of a build as it sounds.
Results
LAX b. Disciples of the New Church Top rope splash to Slash
ODB b. Jackie The Bam
Bad Influence b. Generation Me Kazarian pulled down the check
Shark Boy won a hardcore gauntlet battle royal last eliminating Gunner
James Storm/Magnus/Bob Holly b. Aces and 8's Last Call to Doc
Joseph Park b. Mesias Black Hole Slam
Jeff Hardy/Brother Runt b. Team 3D Hardy splashed D-Von through a table
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Nothing else.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Shield b. Usos/Christian Rollup to Christian
Dolph Ziggler b. Jinder Mahal Zig Zag
Kane b. Randy Orton Big Boot
Sheamus b. Fandango via countout
The Miz b. Ryback via surrender
CM Punk/Curtis Axel b. Prime Time Players GTS to Young
Kaitlyn b. Alicia Fox Spear
Antonio Cesaro b. Cody Rhodes Neutralizer
John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio Attitude Adjustment
NXT
Paige b. Alicia Fox Paige Turner
Conor O'Brien b. Andy Baker Legdrop
Xavier Woods b. Scott Dawson Lost in the Woods
Mason Ryan b. Enzo Amore Right Hand
Mason Ryan b. Colin Cassady Cobra Clutch
Bo Dallas b. Antonio Cesaro Belly to belly suplex
Impact Wrestling
AJ Styles b. Kazarian Calf Killer
Hernandez b. Jay Bradley Shoulder Block
Gunner/James Storm b. Bro Mans Powerslam/neckbreaker combo to Godderz
Jeff Hardy b. Joseph Park via DQ when Park gave the referee a Black Hole Slam
Chris Sabin b. Austin Aries and Manik Hail Sabin from the middle rope to Aries
Smackdown
Usos b. Rhodes Scholars Double Superfly Splash to Sandow
Alicia Fox b. Kaitlyn Rollup
Randy Orton b. Christian RKO
Dolph Ziggler b. Drew McIntyre Zig Zag
Fandango b. Justin Gabriel Top rope legdrop
CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio went to a double countout
Hardcore Justice 2
LAX b. Disciples of the New Church Top rope splash to Slash
ODB b. Jackie The Bam
Bad Influence b. Generation Me Kazarian pulled down the check
Shark Boy won a hardcore gauntlet battle royal last eliminating Gunner
James Storm/Magnus/Bob Holly b. Aces and 8's Last Call to Doc
Joseph Park b. Mesias Black Hole Slam
Jeff Hardy/Brother Runt b. Team 3D Hardy splashed D-Von through a table