klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Raw
Date: June 28, 2010
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Host: Rob Zombie
Well after last week’s well highly watched show it makes me wonder what they’re going to follow it up with. There’s a host again tonight, but I’m not sure why they’re going with Zombie as I’m not sure what he’s going to do here. Oh and we get Vince fallout. Let’s get to it.
Speaking of Vince we open with the at least third reshowing of the beatdown from last week. As someone said in the LD last week, I can’t imagine how nervous Gabriel was when he went up for that 450.
And now to the arena where we all need to be somber. Barrett is at WWE Headquarters and is being yelled at for what he did.
Here’s Sheamus. He’s disgusted by all of the times he’s seen the beating on Vince. So he’s been watching the TV shows. As champion he needs to make a statement. The statement is that THE CHAMP IS HERE! The best thing to come out of this is that Cena isn’t the number one contender anymore because he used his rematch clause. This is cracking me up as he tells us all the things he won’t have to put up with anymore.
Cena won’t get another shot so here he is. I smell an e-mail coming very soon. Cena points out that they came after him when he was world champion so their next target is likely Sheamus. Cena asks Sheamus for help in fighting Nexus. Oh this is interesting. Cena calls out Nexus and there’s the e-mail. It gets great heat. Cole: Gentlemen, gentlemen, I BELIEVE I HAVE RECEIVED AN E-MAIL! That was the best overly dramatic announcement in years.
Oh damn it he has a podium now. He’ll take action next week and will listen to Barrett. If anyone in Nexus jumps anyone in WWE tonight, they’re terminated. This is the longest e-mail ever. If anyone from WWE touches Nexus they’re suspended. Cena suggests a title match and there’s another e-mail MAYBE 4 seconds after he finishes talking. The GM says it’s Sheamus vs. Henry tonight. Cena FREAKS and says his life is being ruined by the internet.
He gives Cole his e-mail address which is something like candypants or something like that. This is hysterical. There’s ANOTHER e-mail and we’re told we get the 8 Raw MITB guys tonight. And now a cage is being lowered in a “sign of the GM’s power”. There’s e-mail #4. At MITB, Sheamus vs. Cena in a cage. Where’s the Kool-Aid Man for an OH YEAH???
Hart Dynasty vs. Tamina/Usos
The non champions jump the Harts and beat the hell out of them on the floor and just leave them there. Ok no they don’t as Tamina comes after Natalya. She hits a splash off the top and just leaves Natalya there. So I guess the match didn’t happen?
Josh is with R-Truth who is asked about the Nexus. Truth says they’re acting like animals. It looks like he’s reading off a script. He says he’s a zookeeper and that’s the TRUTH. Uh….sure.
We recap the Dance Off from a few weeks ago. Ok then.
Vladimir Kozlov vs. Santino Marella
If Santino wins then he and Kozlov are tag champions. Santino can’t do shit here and tries to have a striking contest. Kozlov hits the big slam after about a minute. This was what you expected it to be. Kozlov tries to pick him up and he just falls back down. Then he does that again. And this man main evented Survivor Series people. And for no apparent reason here’s William Regal to beat the hell out of Santino. Kozlov makes the save.
Josh is now with Khali and is asked about Nexus. His translator runs down Khali and says he’s an idiot.
And hey the Guest Host is here only 37 minutes into the show. Cole says he likes one of Zombie’s theme songs. That’s very amusing. He says he’s here because he loves sick and twisted things which you often see in wrestling. He’s going to announce the 8 participants. In it will be Orton, Miz, R-Truth, Jericho, Bourne, DiBiase, Morrison and Edge. Edge and Zombie know each other which is kind of cool.
And here’s Edge on the monitor to be a dick. Edge talks about how he won the first MITB and Zombie just leaves. Even Cole says “that’s it?” We get clips of the first MITB match, including seeing Benoit. We then see him winning the belt at New Year’s Revolution. After he talks, we get another e-mail. The main event will have all 8 guys as Edge, Miz, DiBiase and Jericho vs. Bourne, Morrison, Truth and Orton. That could be decent.
Sheamus vs. Mark Henry
The champ doesn’t get an intro? What the hell? This is completely one sided with Henry even getting a splash for two. Then the Pump Kick ends it. Match MIGHT have been two minutes.
The Nexus guys are talking kind of and Sheffield punches a crew member. Ok then.
Lawler is in the ring to talk about Ricky Steamboat’s DVD. Oh hell yes. Even I might buy that. Here he is in the flesh too. This is one of the best in ring technicians of all time and he deserves any and all credit he gets. There are some guys that want to say hi. ARN ANDERSON, MICHAEL HAYES, MIKE ROTUNDO AND DEAN MALENKO!!!!! Sweet damnation. Dean says he wants to go home and watch the DVD.
He gets a nice jab in by saying most of the matches he wasn’t even born for yet. Rotundo says to make sure to pay the taxes on it. Hayes says he came out here since he hasn’t been on TV in a few years and wanted to dance. That was funny. And now, Arn Anderson.
This guy needs to be on TV more, period. He says he’s never been in the ring with anyone better. That might very well be true but if not it’s a great compliment. Steamboat thanks the fans and it’s Nexus time. The old guys IMMEDIATELY take off their jackets and roll up their sleeves. They beat the hell out of Slater to a huge pop, then Tarver, and then it all falls apart as they get Arn.
Ok maybe they just get Arn. They got got Dean too. WWE security freaking sucks. It truly does. Tarver gets Rotundo as there’s no commentary again which is a nice touch. It’s Lawler, Hayes and Steamboat left and here they come. Steamboat gets the two smallest guys and Lawler is knocked to the floor. Slater is beating up Steamboat and Tarver punches Hayes. They gang up on Steamboat and Gabriel hits the 450. This was GREAT and they got booed out of the building for it.
Back from break and the old guys are being carried out. The GM still isn’t going to take action because these guys aren’t superstars.
Eve Torres/Gail Kim vs. Maryse/Alicia Fox
Matthews is on commentary now. How many times can these four fight? This is of course freaking boring other than looking at the girls. Fox hits an axe kick on Gail for the pin. At least it’s over.
Next week we get the action taken against Nexus.
Edge/Ted DiBiase/Miz/Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton/Evan Bourne/John Morrison/R-Truth
The ladder is in the ring with a briefcase hanging over it. Edge is out first and climbs up to look all dramatic and stuff. The entrances of course take forever. Morrison pulls out a ladder during the intros and Orton gets a DAMN great pop. I think Bourne’s was bigger though. Morrison and DiBiase start. Don’t expect anything close to me saying who is in and out as it’ll be far too much to say.
The match is a total mess of course as it’s just random fights that have no particular rhyme or reason. It even gets a mid-match commercial so you know it’s a big match. Morrison is the face in peril for a little bit until we get more of Bourne vs. Jericho. Air Bourne misses and Jericho hits a one kneed Codebreaker. In one of the weakest endings I can ever remember, DiBiase and Orton both get hot tags, DiBiase comes at him and the RKO ends it.
That was all Orton was in the match for. Post match it’s a big clusterfuck involving the ladder. Miz almost gets up the ladder at the end but Orton shoves him off and gets the case to end the show.
Results
Vladimir Kozlov b. Santino Marella – Mat Slam
Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Pump Kick
Alicia Fox/Maryse b. Eve Torres/Gail Kim – Axe kick to Kim
R-Truth/Randy Orton/Evan Bourne/John Morrsion b. Ted DiBiase/Chris Jericho/Edge/Miz – RKO to DiBiase
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.3 which is down from the previous week or two.
In FAR more important news though the angle about Drew being deported wasn’t an angle. His work Visa has really expired and he’s trying to get a new one set up to work. In even BIGGER news though, the same is true for Wade Barrett. He’s in England trying to get a new one sorted out. First thing that came to my mind was simple: how did no one get this beforehand?
NXT
Date: June 29, 2010
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Berry, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
The first poll is released tonight. That’s all that matters here. It’s 50/50 with the pros and the fans having an equal share.
The host or whatever botches her opening line and then introduces the rookies.
Alex Riley – The Miz
Husky Harris – Cody Rhodes
Titus O’Neil – Zach Ryder
Kaval – Laycool
Eli Cottonwood – John Morrison
Percy Watson – MVP
Lucky Cannon – Mark Henry
Michael McGillicutty – Kofi Kingston
Not only do we get a poll but whoever is last is GONE. Hokey smoke. Cole and Matthews blast Ashley for no apparent reason. We have a challenge tonight and it’s the keg carry from last season. The winner gets immunity.
Joe Hennig (McGillicutty but it’s easier to type his real name) goes first but drops the keg like a second into it and he’s done.
Cannon is a bit better as it looks like they’re going in reverse order. He gets a time of 12.7 seconds (12.7 seconds for those of you that use the metric system).
Watson smiles the whole way through this. He has the charisma to put it mildly. He gets 13 flat even though it looks like he beat it.
Cottonwood is fourth and he’ll wind up messing it up because he’s too damn big. He’s really just walking fast. 13.3.
Can Kaval even pick the damn thing up? Instead he takes the mic and says it weighs as much as he does and says he isn’t risking his body unless it’s in the ring. I like that.
O’Neil trips over his own feet and is done before the first turn. There’s a guy in the front row with his back to it and he turns around to see Titus on the ground. Titus says this is what happens when you try to drink and drive which is I think cool but I’m not sure. Good message if nothing else.
Harris drops the keg on his foot after about 5 seconds. I guess he isn’t that good at…..dashing? He gives Striker a small shove afterwards.
Riley gets close but loses too. Damn it Lucky Cannon is still around. The worst of the 8 is still here.
We get a profile on Watson which is him far more toned down which helps him a lot. He used to play for the Giants.
MVP vs. Husky Harris
Harris is 0-1. They go really slowly to start. Harris apparently is mad at Rhodes for embarrassing him on Friday. Crowd isn’t that thrilled here. Mark Henry is on assignment apparently. Damn Harris is boring as hell. This is just a slow and boring match with NOTHING of interest going on in it.
Harris misses his back splash as the crowd is DEAD. When Ballin is barely able to get a pop you can tell the match sucks. MVP hits a Downward Spiral and Harris is 0-2. Damn I hate that move too. PLEASE vote Harris off. Harris won’t shake his hand.
We recap the Keg Carry and it’s time for a 6 man.
Joe Hennig/Lucky Cannon/Kaval vs. Eli Cottonwood/Alex Riley/Titus O’Neil
Joe and Eli start which sounds like a bad comedy team. No match for Watson tonight? Miz is apparently like Doc Rivers on NXT. Cole, I hate you. I truly do. Riley has a medical background and speaks Spanish. This is like some weird beauty pageant or something. Kaval gets something resembling a hot tag and kicks a lot. Yeah I’m shocked too. O’Neil and Cottonwood double team Kaval. That’s just awesome.
Hennig takes care of every opponent not named O’Neil. Kaval hits the Warrior’s Way on Riley. That’s going to be botched to hell and back one day and he’s going to nearly kill someone.
We see the legends beatdown from last night and thankfully they clip it down. There’s no need to show the whole segment 24 hours after it happened like they’ve been doing. Steamboat has cracked ribs and a bad neck. Matthews says Raw is under siege and they’re pretty much right.
It’s poll time!
1. Kaval (WTF???)
2. Percy Watson
3. Michael McGillicutty
4. Alex Riley
5. Lucky Cannon (bullshit!)
6. Eli Cottonwood
7. Husky Harris
8. Titus O’Neil
Ok, the WWE fans are IDIOTS. He cuts a solid promo and then leaves. Be careful not to slip on the grease pile that Harris left behind.
Results
MVP b. Husky Harris – 305
Kaval/Michael McGillicutty/Lucky Cannon b. Eli Cottonwood/Alex Riley/Titus O’Neil – Warrior’s Way to Riley
Titus O’Neil was eliminated in 8th place
Punk is hurt and will be out 6-8 weeks. Damn it.
Wednesday
NXT got a .93.
Thursday
Ricky Steamboat is legit in a hospital with an aneurysm. Apparently he’s not in terrible shape though which is a very good thing.
Allegedly the Visa issues with McIntyre and Barrett are allegedly cleared up so they could be back next week.
Impact
Date: July 1, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Voices in My Head
We get a recap of Hogan vs. Abyss which is mainly about THEY are coming.
We open in the arena with Abyss going crazy and throwing chairs into the ring. Hogan comes out and we’re told he needs back surgery. Bicshoff comes out before anything happens and Hogan tells him to step aside. TWO security guards come in to stop things. BISCHOFF SLAPS ABYSS. Hogan pops him with a chair which does nothing and Hardy comes out for the save. A Twist of Fate puts Abyss down but a Hogan chair shot doesn’t? He adds a Swanton for the hell of it.
AJ vs. Joe later. That should work. Abyss comes up to the announce table and points at Taz, doing the YOU thing. It’s really going to be the ECW thing isn’t it?
Abyss vs. Hardy tonight.
Ink Inc vs. Motor City Machine Guns
First match for the #1 contenders in….4 weeks? Shelley and Shannon to start which makes me think this is a Divas match for a second. This is a decently fast paced match which tells me we’re going to be done with Ink Inc soon. D-Von comes down to keep an eye on this and does commentary, saying he’s making sure Bubba doesn’t screw this up.
Neal hits Shelley with a spear for two and here’s Bubba just like the obvious would suggest. Neal gets distracted, setting up a SWEET double team move as Shelley hits Sliced Bread #2 while Sabin hits a sitout powerbomb on Neal for the pin.
Pope is back tonight.
Bischoff makes Abyss vs. Hardy for the main event.
Dixie is just getting here. WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GET TO A TV SHOW ON TIME?
AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe
Ok, these two are usually AWESOME. Let’s see if they can manage to mess this up. Flair and Kaz come out behind AJ. That chant Joe gets every time has to be intimidating. Joe allegedly has the home field advantage….in the house that AJ built. Got it. AJ slams Joe and looks for approval from Flair. Eh that’s fine I guess. There is no one in Fourtune yet.
This is a decent back and forth match but I wish they could have it be more like their old ones without AJ constantly looking for approval. AJ goes for the figure four and gets caught in the clutch for the tap out. Post match AJ gets yelled at AGAIN by Flair. Kaz gets all smirky and I wonder what the point in making AJ into this is. AJ gets a mic and calls out Kaz for a match next week and it’s on.
Dixie is with Hogan and Bischoff and in one of the funniest segments ever, Hogan calls Sting cancer, says Sting can’t handle success and says that Sting wants to destroy everything that’s successful and always has. I almost had to pause the show to clear the tears from my eyes from laughing so hard. Oh and Nash had a cameo.
Brian Kendrick vs. Desmond Wolfe
This is a submission match and Williams is on commentary. Wolfe dominates early so you know that Wolfe is jobbing here again. Williams vs. Jeremy Buck next week in a ladder match. Uh….WHY? He’s having an Ultimate X match at the PPV so shouldn’t he be doing that instead? Chelsea walks off and Kendrick gets the cobra clutch on Wolfe for the eventual tap. Yep that was predictable and pay no attention to the hold looking HORRIBLE.
Tommy Dreamer won’t comment on attending Impact.
Pope gets a video package.
And here he is. The fans chant hallelujah. He starts crying and says he’s glad to be back and thanks everyone. He says he wants Anderson and he’ll get back to him later. He wants the title back and talks for awhile. And cue Angle. He gets far more cheers and takes the entire segment which is expected I guess. Pope is the future of TNA apparently. The match is made for Victory Road, which makes me wonder who isn’t allowed to make matches.
We recap Flair vs. Lethal and continue to see how irritating Flair is now.
Jay Lethal vs. Matt Morgan
Lethal calls out Flair and AJ but gets his opponent instead. Morgan has been asked to join Fourtune apparently. Morgan jumps him and goes for the elbows in the corner, most of which miss but whatever. After Morgan kind of dominates, Hernandez comes out and causes the distraction so that a missile dropkick can end Morgan.
Abyss makes a 2x4 with nails in it.
Madison Rayne vs. Taylor Wilde
WOW the champions is actually wrestling! I don’t believe it. This is of course not very good. It’s nice to see some fresh blood in there though so I’ll give them that. We lay around a lot as the ECW guys, this time plus Rhyno, show up to completely take away the spotlight from the match at hand as everyone cheers for ECW. In a funny line Taz points out that none of these guys liked him in ECW anyway. Rayne hits that knee to the back of the head on Wilde to win it. Love comes out and beats her up with a chair.
Sarita beats the crap out of Wilde for no apparent reason other than a heel turn. She looks good in black too.
We run down the Victory Road card to waste some time.
Dixie finds Sting and he asks if she gets it now. She blames Sting for everything and she suspends him for 30 days without pay. Sting says she’s been conned but won’t explain. Dixie isn’t listening apparently. He’s about to explain and here’s Bischoff with security to get rid of Sting. He says let’s just make it indefinite instead of 30 days.
Abyss vs. Jeff Hardy
Van Dam is referee here. We get rid of the 2x4 board almost immediately. The ECW guys are gone too. Abyss takes over and that lasts only a bit as Abyss loses focus. This is fairly back and forth and is getting some time. Jeff “hits” a “Twist of Fate” but doesn’t get the Swanton. And then the Swanton does hit and gets the completely clean pin. Oh sure…why not. Anderson comes in for the save with a chair but accidently hits Hardy and takes Shock Treatment to end the show with Abyss standing tall.
Results
Motor City Machine Guns b. Ink Inc – Sliced Bread #2/Sitout Powerbomb combination on Neal
Samoa Joe b. AJ Styles – Coquina Clutch
Brian Kendrick b. Desmond Wolfe – Cobra Clutch
Jay Lethal b. Matt Morgan – Missile Dropkick
Madison Rayne b. Taylor Wilde – Knee to the back of the head
Jeff Hardy b. Abyss – Swanton Bomb
Friday
Alex Riley got cut open badly at an FCW show. No word on how serious this is or if he’ll be out of action yet.
Smackdown
Date: July 2, 2010
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Berry, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Matt Striker, Todd Grisham
Odds are tonight we find out the MITB contestants. Also tonight we get more on the Kane vs. Punk thing. That has potential, but at the same time I can’t imagine the SES are the ones behind all this. I really hope it doesn’t wind up being Kane. That would just flat out suck, but whatever. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Kane vs. Punk from last week. This was likely just a way to get Punk off TV for awhile since his arm is hurt. At least we got a real reason. Grisham saying the SES has ceased to exist is a scary line.
Theme song. Awesome. Drew is still in the video, which means it’s likely he’ll be back soon.
Kane vs. Gallows tonight.
Swagger is here. Striker calls the title the World Championship instead of World Heavyweight Championship. Rey can alter history now. That’s either awesome or bad. He talks about how awesome he is and we see the ankle lock from last week where he hurt Show’s leg/ankle/knee somehow all at once. He talks about how MITB is coming and how that’s where his journey started. He’s sad that he lost the belt and I’m not sure if this is supposed to be intense or sad.
Here’s Show anyway so it doesn’t really matter. He’s still selling the knee which is a plus. Show really can talk pretty well when it comes to comedy. He calls him Jackie Boy which sounds like some bad indy movie. This segment is kind of dragging but it’s not bad. It might help a bit if we actually you know, saw the champion? Show talks about fantasy and reality. In Swagger’s fantasy he can break Show’s ankle, but in reality Show will break Swagger’s jaw.
Show comes towards the ring but Cody Rhodes chop blocks him. Both guys work on the ankle and the leg to hurt him as Show is continuously called the Giant. He fights back and Rey makes the save. Hey the champion is on TV! I don’t believe it either! I smell a tag match.
We get some MITB guys: Kane, Cody Rhodes, Matt Hardy, Christian, Kofi Kingston and Big Show. They only say six names and that there will be two more named.
I was right about that tag match. Show/Rey vs. Swagger/Rhodes.
Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler
Kofi comes out first and then Ziggler comes down the hall. Vickie stops him and makes sure that he doesn’t look at Rosa doing jumping jacks. Ziggler could be ok but I see Vickie as a step down for him. She’s far more annoying than anything else and makes Ziggler seem hard to take seriously. Nothing of note happens and we take a break because this much lack of anything is tiring let me tell you.
The blonde guy is in control when we come back which isn’t that surprising. A top rope crossbody by Kofi gets two. The man can jump if nothing else. Here let me run two laps around Dolph, touch his chest, shout three times and then jump into the air. I’m sure Dolph won’t have a clue what’s coming. Fameasser gets two for Dolph. What is with so many people using that lately? Ziggler looks at Vickie and walks into Trouble in Paradise to end it.
We go to the SES in the back and Serena tells Punk (with his arm in a sling) that they should give up and tell Kane the truth. Punk and Gallows say no. Serena says she felt helpless when Punk was taken to the operating room for his ten hour arm surgery. She says if they don’t take care of Kane then she will. Ok then.
Peep Show
The guest is Matt Hardy and there are about 5 or 6 ladders in the ring with them as you would expect. Christian asks about McIntyre and says it was nice to see them in the ring together last week and not see Matt get dropped on his head for a change. Matt talks about how much his time in WWE has sucked but he keeps coming back. He says his WILL NOT DIE thing but Christian cuts him off and says Will Not Win MITB. Preach it brother.
They talk about how great their careers have been and so on. According to Matt, the ECW Title was NOT a real world title. They both climb the ladder and go for the case which they would have had to be standing on top of the ladder to get and have had to move the ladder back about three feet to reach but whatever. They say at the same time that it’s going to be them that wins at MITB. This was a different kind of interview segment but it worked.
Christian starts to leave but comes back and Matt pops him. The Canadian is thrown into a ladder and Matt leaves to his music. That’s good as he needs the momentum more than Christian does.
Alberto Del Rio is still coming to Smackdown. I think this might be the same promo from last week, but I really don’t care enough to think back that far. This guy is going to be pretty bad in my eyes, but I guess he could be decent. He talks about honesty again and this goes nowhere.
Cody Rhoes is in front of a mirror making sure he looks perfect. He interviews himself in a funny moment. I keep wanting Dusty to pop up behind him and shout BOY ARE YOU CRAZY?
Kane vs. Luke Gallows
Punk is with Gallows. Kane of course dominates early as we’re somehow halfway done with this show. That doesn’t seem possible. The masked man runs in maybe two minutes in for the DQ. He goes down and Kane goes after Punk. Serena bounces down to ringside and says she has proof that Punk didn’t do it.
Serena says that Punk was saving her on Memorial Day which was when Taker was hurt. A video is played with the date on it of Serena walking into a bar. She hesitates for a LONG time and has a drink. Then she has a second and guy buys her more. The crowd reacts to her doing shots. And then Punk walks in with Gallows and the masked man, obviously pissed off. There’s no sound here which is a very nice touch like it has been on Raw.
Kane shoves Punk off and leaves. Serena apologizes to Punk but he’s too pissed off to accept it. He asks if she knows what she just did and leaves her there.
MVP vs. Chavo Guerrero
We see MVP and Kofi signing autographs at a Toys R Us where the new WWE action figures are being released. See, THIS is what Chavo should be doing. It’s better than JTG at least. Chavo says he’ll prove to Vickie how it’s done unlike what Drew failed at. He wants an IC Title shot too. At least there are guys talking about wanting the title. That’s a big step in the right direction at least.
Chavo hits the Three Amigos on MVP and the Frog Splash misses, most likely because he rolled through it. Less than thirty seconds later MVP hits the 305 to end it. This was nothing for the most part and just kind of came and went.
This week in WWE history: this time it’s Luger doing the bodyslam on Yoko on the USS Intrepid. That was indeed awesome. We do have to hear that incredibly obnoxious I’ll Be Your Hero song. Alfred Hayes gets a cameo and we see Luger win by count out at Summerslam in one of the strangest moments in WWF history.
Kelly Kelly vs. Michelle McCool
Does Tiffany actually serve any kind of purpose? Grisham says both of them are knockouts. That’s kind of a funny line for some reason. I could watch Laycool’s entrance all day. Michelle stalls a lot before we actually get going as the heels spray air freshener. Tiffany gets jumped and might have hurt her shoulder. Tiffany gets up long enough to distract Michelle and Kelly rolls her up for the pin. This again was too short to mean anything. I guess that might be the point though.
We see the legends beatdown on Raw.
Rey addresses us next.
Alberto Del Rio talks about accomplishing the impossible or something. And something about inspiration. Get this guy off my TV.
Rey gets the full on huge introduction and shows off the belt and all that jazz. This would have been a lot better, oh I don’t know, LAST WEEK? He says nothing at all of note other than Swagger won’t beat him. This of course gets like 4 minutes.
Jack Swagger/Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio/Big Show
The Dashing name works well as while it sounds like an indy name, he’s talented enough to make it work I think. Rey and Rhodes start us off which is an interesting pairing. Striker points out that it sucks that there are 7 months between Twilight movies and 11 years between Toy Story sequels. He’s absolutely right. Show throws Cody over the top onto Swagger and we take a break.
Back and it’s the starters in there again. Rey hits a seated senton for two. Swagger kicks his head off and goes higher up on my list of favorites because of it. Again with the big boots! Striker points out why Cody is dashing. Ok then. Cody hits more or less the Morrison spinkick off the ropes as Striker says he needs a name for that. He suggests the Dashiell Hammett but realizes no one will get that (guy that wrote Maltese Falcon).
Show comes in off the hot tag and cleans house but his leg gives out. Rey drops the dime on Swagger for two. 619 is countered into the ankle lock but Rey is in the rope. Same thing as last week as he won’t let go for the DQ. Rey taps of course, thereby making him look weak again. Is there something against Smackdown champions? The heels leave as the faces’ ankles hurt to end the show.
Results
Kofi Kingston b. Dolph Ziggler – Trouble in Paradise
Kane b. Luke Gallows via DQ when the masked man ran in
MVP b. Chavo Guerrero – 305
Kelly Kelly b. Michelle McCool – Rollup
Rey Mysterio/Big Show b. Cody Rhodes/Jack Swagger via DQ when Swagger wouldn’t release the Ankle Lock
Saturday
Steamboat seems to be doing much better.
It appears that both guys' visa issues are resolved and Barrett should be back Monday. I would tell you the same about Drew but who cares.
Sunday
No word on Riley’s condition and no Impact rating yet.
Quick Results
Raw
Vladimir Kozlov b. Santino Marella – Mat Slam
Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Pump Kick
Alicia Fox/Maryse b. Eve Torres/Gail Kim – Axe kick to Kim
R-Truth/Randy Orton/Evan Bourne/John Morrsion b. Ted DiBiase/Chris Jericho/Edge/Miz – RKO to DiBiase
NXT
MVP b. Husky Harris – 305
Kaval/Michael McGillicutty/Lucky Cannon b. Eli Cottonwood/Alex Riley/Titus O’Neil – Warrior’s Way to Riley
Titus O’Neil was eliminated in 8th place
Impact
Motor City Machine Guns b. Ink Inc – Sliced Bread #2/Sitout Powerbomb combination on Neal
Samoa Joe b. AJ Styles – Coquina Clutch
Brian Kendrick b. Desmond Wolfe – Cobra Clutch
Jay Lethal b. Matt Morgan – Missile Dropkick
Madison Rayne b. Taylor Wilde – Knee to the back of the head
Jeff Hardy b. Abyss – Swanton Bomb
Smackdown
Kofi Kingston b. Dolph Ziggler – Trouble in Paradise
Kane b. Luke Gallows via DQ when the masked man ran in
MVP b. Chavo Guerrero – 305
Kelly Kelly b. Michelle McCool – Rollup
Rey Mysterio/Big Show b. Cody Rhodes/Jack Swagger via DQ when Swagger wouldn’t release the Ankle Lock
Raw
Date: June 28, 2010
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Host: Rob Zombie
Well after last week’s well highly watched show it makes me wonder what they’re going to follow it up with. There’s a host again tonight, but I’m not sure why they’re going with Zombie as I’m not sure what he’s going to do here. Oh and we get Vince fallout. Let’s get to it.
Speaking of Vince we open with the at least third reshowing of the beatdown from last week. As someone said in the LD last week, I can’t imagine how nervous Gabriel was when he went up for that 450.
And now to the arena where we all need to be somber. Barrett is at WWE Headquarters and is being yelled at for what he did.
Here’s Sheamus. He’s disgusted by all of the times he’s seen the beating on Vince. So he’s been watching the TV shows. As champion he needs to make a statement. The statement is that THE CHAMP IS HERE! The best thing to come out of this is that Cena isn’t the number one contender anymore because he used his rematch clause. This is cracking me up as he tells us all the things he won’t have to put up with anymore.
Cena won’t get another shot so here he is. I smell an e-mail coming very soon. Cena points out that they came after him when he was world champion so their next target is likely Sheamus. Cena asks Sheamus for help in fighting Nexus. Oh this is interesting. Cena calls out Nexus and there’s the e-mail. It gets great heat. Cole: Gentlemen, gentlemen, I BELIEVE I HAVE RECEIVED AN E-MAIL! That was the best overly dramatic announcement in years.
Oh damn it he has a podium now. He’ll take action next week and will listen to Barrett. If anyone in Nexus jumps anyone in WWE tonight, they’re terminated. This is the longest e-mail ever. If anyone from WWE touches Nexus they’re suspended. Cena suggests a title match and there’s another e-mail MAYBE 4 seconds after he finishes talking. The GM says it’s Sheamus vs. Henry tonight. Cena FREAKS and says his life is being ruined by the internet.
He gives Cole his e-mail address which is something like candypants or something like that. This is hysterical. There’s ANOTHER e-mail and we’re told we get the 8 Raw MITB guys tonight. And now a cage is being lowered in a “sign of the GM’s power”. There’s e-mail #4. At MITB, Sheamus vs. Cena in a cage. Where’s the Kool-Aid Man for an OH YEAH???
Hart Dynasty vs. Tamina/Usos
The non champions jump the Harts and beat the hell out of them on the floor and just leave them there. Ok no they don’t as Tamina comes after Natalya. She hits a splash off the top and just leaves Natalya there. So I guess the match didn’t happen?
Josh is with R-Truth who is asked about the Nexus. Truth says they’re acting like animals. It looks like he’s reading off a script. He says he’s a zookeeper and that’s the TRUTH. Uh….sure.
We recap the Dance Off from a few weeks ago. Ok then.
Vladimir Kozlov vs. Santino Marella
If Santino wins then he and Kozlov are tag champions. Santino can’t do shit here and tries to have a striking contest. Kozlov hits the big slam after about a minute. This was what you expected it to be. Kozlov tries to pick him up and he just falls back down. Then he does that again. And this man main evented Survivor Series people. And for no apparent reason here’s William Regal to beat the hell out of Santino. Kozlov makes the save.
Josh is now with Khali and is asked about Nexus. His translator runs down Khali and says he’s an idiot.
And hey the Guest Host is here only 37 minutes into the show. Cole says he likes one of Zombie’s theme songs. That’s very amusing. He says he’s here because he loves sick and twisted things which you often see in wrestling. He’s going to announce the 8 participants. In it will be Orton, Miz, R-Truth, Jericho, Bourne, DiBiase, Morrison and Edge. Edge and Zombie know each other which is kind of cool.
And here’s Edge on the monitor to be a dick. Edge talks about how he won the first MITB and Zombie just leaves. Even Cole says “that’s it?” We get clips of the first MITB match, including seeing Benoit. We then see him winning the belt at New Year’s Revolution. After he talks, we get another e-mail. The main event will have all 8 guys as Edge, Miz, DiBiase and Jericho vs. Bourne, Morrison, Truth and Orton. That could be decent.
Sheamus vs. Mark Henry
The champ doesn’t get an intro? What the hell? This is completely one sided with Henry even getting a splash for two. Then the Pump Kick ends it. Match MIGHT have been two minutes.
The Nexus guys are talking kind of and Sheffield punches a crew member. Ok then.
Lawler is in the ring to talk about Ricky Steamboat’s DVD. Oh hell yes. Even I might buy that. Here he is in the flesh too. This is one of the best in ring technicians of all time and he deserves any and all credit he gets. There are some guys that want to say hi. ARN ANDERSON, MICHAEL HAYES, MIKE ROTUNDO AND DEAN MALENKO!!!!! Sweet damnation. Dean says he wants to go home and watch the DVD.
He gets a nice jab in by saying most of the matches he wasn’t even born for yet. Rotundo says to make sure to pay the taxes on it. Hayes says he came out here since he hasn’t been on TV in a few years and wanted to dance. That was funny. And now, Arn Anderson.
This guy needs to be on TV more, period. He says he’s never been in the ring with anyone better. That might very well be true but if not it’s a great compliment. Steamboat thanks the fans and it’s Nexus time. The old guys IMMEDIATELY take off their jackets and roll up their sleeves. They beat the hell out of Slater to a huge pop, then Tarver, and then it all falls apart as they get Arn.
Ok maybe they just get Arn. They got got Dean too. WWE security freaking sucks. It truly does. Tarver gets Rotundo as there’s no commentary again which is a nice touch. It’s Lawler, Hayes and Steamboat left and here they come. Steamboat gets the two smallest guys and Lawler is knocked to the floor. Slater is beating up Steamboat and Tarver punches Hayes. They gang up on Steamboat and Gabriel hits the 450. This was GREAT and they got booed out of the building for it.
Back from break and the old guys are being carried out. The GM still isn’t going to take action because these guys aren’t superstars.
Eve Torres/Gail Kim vs. Maryse/Alicia Fox
Matthews is on commentary now. How many times can these four fight? This is of course freaking boring other than looking at the girls. Fox hits an axe kick on Gail for the pin. At least it’s over.
Next week we get the action taken against Nexus.
Edge/Ted DiBiase/Miz/Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton/Evan Bourne/John Morrison/R-Truth
The ladder is in the ring with a briefcase hanging over it. Edge is out first and climbs up to look all dramatic and stuff. The entrances of course take forever. Morrison pulls out a ladder during the intros and Orton gets a DAMN great pop. I think Bourne’s was bigger though. Morrison and DiBiase start. Don’t expect anything close to me saying who is in and out as it’ll be far too much to say.
The match is a total mess of course as it’s just random fights that have no particular rhyme or reason. It even gets a mid-match commercial so you know it’s a big match. Morrison is the face in peril for a little bit until we get more of Bourne vs. Jericho. Air Bourne misses and Jericho hits a one kneed Codebreaker. In one of the weakest endings I can ever remember, DiBiase and Orton both get hot tags, DiBiase comes at him and the RKO ends it.
That was all Orton was in the match for. Post match it’s a big clusterfuck involving the ladder. Miz almost gets up the ladder at the end but Orton shoves him off and gets the case to end the show.
Results
Vladimir Kozlov b. Santino Marella – Mat Slam
Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Pump Kick
Alicia Fox/Maryse b. Eve Torres/Gail Kim – Axe kick to Kim
R-Truth/Randy Orton/Evan Bourne/John Morrsion b. Ted DiBiase/Chris Jericho/Edge/Miz – RKO to DiBiase
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.3 which is down from the previous week or two.
In FAR more important news though the angle about Drew being deported wasn’t an angle. His work Visa has really expired and he’s trying to get a new one set up to work. In even BIGGER news though, the same is true for Wade Barrett. He’s in England trying to get a new one sorted out. First thing that came to my mind was simple: how did no one get this beforehand?
NXT
Date: June 29, 2010
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Berry, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
The first poll is released tonight. That’s all that matters here. It’s 50/50 with the pros and the fans having an equal share.
The host or whatever botches her opening line and then introduces the rookies.
Alex Riley – The Miz
Husky Harris – Cody Rhodes
Titus O’Neil – Zach Ryder
Kaval – Laycool
Eli Cottonwood – John Morrison
Percy Watson – MVP
Lucky Cannon – Mark Henry
Michael McGillicutty – Kofi Kingston
Not only do we get a poll but whoever is last is GONE. Hokey smoke. Cole and Matthews blast Ashley for no apparent reason. We have a challenge tonight and it’s the keg carry from last season. The winner gets immunity.
Joe Hennig (McGillicutty but it’s easier to type his real name) goes first but drops the keg like a second into it and he’s done.
Cannon is a bit better as it looks like they’re going in reverse order. He gets a time of 12.7 seconds (12.7 seconds for those of you that use the metric system).
Watson smiles the whole way through this. He has the charisma to put it mildly. He gets 13 flat even though it looks like he beat it.
Cottonwood is fourth and he’ll wind up messing it up because he’s too damn big. He’s really just walking fast. 13.3.
Can Kaval even pick the damn thing up? Instead he takes the mic and says it weighs as much as he does and says he isn’t risking his body unless it’s in the ring. I like that.
O’Neil trips over his own feet and is done before the first turn. There’s a guy in the front row with his back to it and he turns around to see Titus on the ground. Titus says this is what happens when you try to drink and drive which is I think cool but I’m not sure. Good message if nothing else.
Harris drops the keg on his foot after about 5 seconds. I guess he isn’t that good at…..dashing? He gives Striker a small shove afterwards.
Riley gets close but loses too. Damn it Lucky Cannon is still around. The worst of the 8 is still here.
We get a profile on Watson which is him far more toned down which helps him a lot. He used to play for the Giants.
MVP vs. Husky Harris
Harris is 0-1. They go really slowly to start. Harris apparently is mad at Rhodes for embarrassing him on Friday. Crowd isn’t that thrilled here. Mark Henry is on assignment apparently. Damn Harris is boring as hell. This is just a slow and boring match with NOTHING of interest going on in it.
Harris misses his back splash as the crowd is DEAD. When Ballin is barely able to get a pop you can tell the match sucks. MVP hits a Downward Spiral and Harris is 0-2. Damn I hate that move too. PLEASE vote Harris off. Harris won’t shake his hand.
We recap the Keg Carry and it’s time for a 6 man.
Joe Hennig/Lucky Cannon/Kaval vs. Eli Cottonwood/Alex Riley/Titus O’Neil
Joe and Eli start which sounds like a bad comedy team. No match for Watson tonight? Miz is apparently like Doc Rivers on NXT. Cole, I hate you. I truly do. Riley has a medical background and speaks Spanish. This is like some weird beauty pageant or something. Kaval gets something resembling a hot tag and kicks a lot. Yeah I’m shocked too. O’Neil and Cottonwood double team Kaval. That’s just awesome.
Hennig takes care of every opponent not named O’Neil. Kaval hits the Warrior’s Way on Riley. That’s going to be botched to hell and back one day and he’s going to nearly kill someone.
We see the legends beatdown from last night and thankfully they clip it down. There’s no need to show the whole segment 24 hours after it happened like they’ve been doing. Steamboat has cracked ribs and a bad neck. Matthews says Raw is under siege and they’re pretty much right.
It’s poll time!
1. Kaval (WTF???)
2. Percy Watson
3. Michael McGillicutty
4. Alex Riley
5. Lucky Cannon (bullshit!)
6. Eli Cottonwood
7. Husky Harris
8. Titus O’Neil
Ok, the WWE fans are IDIOTS. He cuts a solid promo and then leaves. Be careful not to slip on the grease pile that Harris left behind.
Results
MVP b. Husky Harris – 305
Kaval/Michael McGillicutty/Lucky Cannon b. Eli Cottonwood/Alex Riley/Titus O’Neil – Warrior’s Way to Riley
Titus O’Neil was eliminated in 8th place
Punk is hurt and will be out 6-8 weeks. Damn it.
Wednesday
NXT got a .93.
Thursday
Ricky Steamboat is legit in a hospital with an aneurysm. Apparently he’s not in terrible shape though which is a very good thing.
Allegedly the Visa issues with McIntyre and Barrett are allegedly cleared up so they could be back next week.
Impact
Date: July 1, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Voices in My Head
We get a recap of Hogan vs. Abyss which is mainly about THEY are coming.
We open in the arena with Abyss going crazy and throwing chairs into the ring. Hogan comes out and we’re told he needs back surgery. Bicshoff comes out before anything happens and Hogan tells him to step aside. TWO security guards come in to stop things. BISCHOFF SLAPS ABYSS. Hogan pops him with a chair which does nothing and Hardy comes out for the save. A Twist of Fate puts Abyss down but a Hogan chair shot doesn’t? He adds a Swanton for the hell of it.
AJ vs. Joe later. That should work. Abyss comes up to the announce table and points at Taz, doing the YOU thing. It’s really going to be the ECW thing isn’t it?
Abyss vs. Hardy tonight.
Ink Inc vs. Motor City Machine Guns
First match for the #1 contenders in….4 weeks? Shelley and Shannon to start which makes me think this is a Divas match for a second. This is a decently fast paced match which tells me we’re going to be done with Ink Inc soon. D-Von comes down to keep an eye on this and does commentary, saying he’s making sure Bubba doesn’t screw this up.
Neal hits Shelley with a spear for two and here’s Bubba just like the obvious would suggest. Neal gets distracted, setting up a SWEET double team move as Shelley hits Sliced Bread #2 while Sabin hits a sitout powerbomb on Neal for the pin.
Pope is back tonight.
Bischoff makes Abyss vs. Hardy for the main event.
Dixie is just getting here. WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GET TO A TV SHOW ON TIME?
AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe
Ok, these two are usually AWESOME. Let’s see if they can manage to mess this up. Flair and Kaz come out behind AJ. That chant Joe gets every time has to be intimidating. Joe allegedly has the home field advantage….in the house that AJ built. Got it. AJ slams Joe and looks for approval from Flair. Eh that’s fine I guess. There is no one in Fourtune yet.
This is a decent back and forth match but I wish they could have it be more like their old ones without AJ constantly looking for approval. AJ goes for the figure four and gets caught in the clutch for the tap out. Post match AJ gets yelled at AGAIN by Flair. Kaz gets all smirky and I wonder what the point in making AJ into this is. AJ gets a mic and calls out Kaz for a match next week and it’s on.
Dixie is with Hogan and Bischoff and in one of the funniest segments ever, Hogan calls Sting cancer, says Sting can’t handle success and says that Sting wants to destroy everything that’s successful and always has. I almost had to pause the show to clear the tears from my eyes from laughing so hard. Oh and Nash had a cameo.
Brian Kendrick vs. Desmond Wolfe
This is a submission match and Williams is on commentary. Wolfe dominates early so you know that Wolfe is jobbing here again. Williams vs. Jeremy Buck next week in a ladder match. Uh….WHY? He’s having an Ultimate X match at the PPV so shouldn’t he be doing that instead? Chelsea walks off and Kendrick gets the cobra clutch on Wolfe for the eventual tap. Yep that was predictable and pay no attention to the hold looking HORRIBLE.
Tommy Dreamer won’t comment on attending Impact.
Pope gets a video package.
And here he is. The fans chant hallelujah. He starts crying and says he’s glad to be back and thanks everyone. He says he wants Anderson and he’ll get back to him later. He wants the title back and talks for awhile. And cue Angle. He gets far more cheers and takes the entire segment which is expected I guess. Pope is the future of TNA apparently. The match is made for Victory Road, which makes me wonder who isn’t allowed to make matches.
We recap Flair vs. Lethal and continue to see how irritating Flair is now.
Jay Lethal vs. Matt Morgan
Lethal calls out Flair and AJ but gets his opponent instead. Morgan has been asked to join Fourtune apparently. Morgan jumps him and goes for the elbows in the corner, most of which miss but whatever. After Morgan kind of dominates, Hernandez comes out and causes the distraction so that a missile dropkick can end Morgan.
Abyss makes a 2x4 with nails in it.
Madison Rayne vs. Taylor Wilde
WOW the champions is actually wrestling! I don’t believe it. This is of course not very good. It’s nice to see some fresh blood in there though so I’ll give them that. We lay around a lot as the ECW guys, this time plus Rhyno, show up to completely take away the spotlight from the match at hand as everyone cheers for ECW. In a funny line Taz points out that none of these guys liked him in ECW anyway. Rayne hits that knee to the back of the head on Wilde to win it. Love comes out and beats her up with a chair.
Sarita beats the crap out of Wilde for no apparent reason other than a heel turn. She looks good in black too.
We run down the Victory Road card to waste some time.
Dixie finds Sting and he asks if she gets it now. She blames Sting for everything and she suspends him for 30 days without pay. Sting says she’s been conned but won’t explain. Dixie isn’t listening apparently. He’s about to explain and here’s Bischoff with security to get rid of Sting. He says let’s just make it indefinite instead of 30 days.
Abyss vs. Jeff Hardy
Van Dam is referee here. We get rid of the 2x4 board almost immediately. The ECW guys are gone too. Abyss takes over and that lasts only a bit as Abyss loses focus. This is fairly back and forth and is getting some time. Jeff “hits” a “Twist of Fate” but doesn’t get the Swanton. And then the Swanton does hit and gets the completely clean pin. Oh sure…why not. Anderson comes in for the save with a chair but accidently hits Hardy and takes Shock Treatment to end the show with Abyss standing tall.
Results
Motor City Machine Guns b. Ink Inc – Sliced Bread #2/Sitout Powerbomb combination on Neal
Samoa Joe b. AJ Styles – Coquina Clutch
Brian Kendrick b. Desmond Wolfe – Cobra Clutch
Jay Lethal b. Matt Morgan – Missile Dropkick
Madison Rayne b. Taylor Wilde – Knee to the back of the head
Jeff Hardy b. Abyss – Swanton Bomb
Friday
Alex Riley got cut open badly at an FCW show. No word on how serious this is or if he’ll be out of action yet.
Smackdown
Date: July 2, 2010
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Berry, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Matt Striker, Todd Grisham
Odds are tonight we find out the MITB contestants. Also tonight we get more on the Kane vs. Punk thing. That has potential, but at the same time I can’t imagine the SES are the ones behind all this. I really hope it doesn’t wind up being Kane. That would just flat out suck, but whatever. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Kane vs. Punk from last week. This was likely just a way to get Punk off TV for awhile since his arm is hurt. At least we got a real reason. Grisham saying the SES has ceased to exist is a scary line.
Theme song. Awesome. Drew is still in the video, which means it’s likely he’ll be back soon.
Kane vs. Gallows tonight.
Swagger is here. Striker calls the title the World Championship instead of World Heavyweight Championship. Rey can alter history now. That’s either awesome or bad. He talks about how awesome he is and we see the ankle lock from last week where he hurt Show’s leg/ankle/knee somehow all at once. He talks about how MITB is coming and how that’s where his journey started. He’s sad that he lost the belt and I’m not sure if this is supposed to be intense or sad.
Here’s Show anyway so it doesn’t really matter. He’s still selling the knee which is a plus. Show really can talk pretty well when it comes to comedy. He calls him Jackie Boy which sounds like some bad indy movie. This segment is kind of dragging but it’s not bad. It might help a bit if we actually you know, saw the champion? Show talks about fantasy and reality. In Swagger’s fantasy he can break Show’s ankle, but in reality Show will break Swagger’s jaw.
Show comes towards the ring but Cody Rhodes chop blocks him. Both guys work on the ankle and the leg to hurt him as Show is continuously called the Giant. He fights back and Rey makes the save. Hey the champion is on TV! I don’t believe it either! I smell a tag match.
We get some MITB guys: Kane, Cody Rhodes, Matt Hardy, Christian, Kofi Kingston and Big Show. They only say six names and that there will be two more named.
I was right about that tag match. Show/Rey vs. Swagger/Rhodes.
Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler
Kofi comes out first and then Ziggler comes down the hall. Vickie stops him and makes sure that he doesn’t look at Rosa doing jumping jacks. Ziggler could be ok but I see Vickie as a step down for him. She’s far more annoying than anything else and makes Ziggler seem hard to take seriously. Nothing of note happens and we take a break because this much lack of anything is tiring let me tell you.
The blonde guy is in control when we come back which isn’t that surprising. A top rope crossbody by Kofi gets two. The man can jump if nothing else. Here let me run two laps around Dolph, touch his chest, shout three times and then jump into the air. I’m sure Dolph won’t have a clue what’s coming. Fameasser gets two for Dolph. What is with so many people using that lately? Ziggler looks at Vickie and walks into Trouble in Paradise to end it.
We go to the SES in the back and Serena tells Punk (with his arm in a sling) that they should give up and tell Kane the truth. Punk and Gallows say no. Serena says she felt helpless when Punk was taken to the operating room for his ten hour arm surgery. She says if they don’t take care of Kane then she will. Ok then.
Peep Show
The guest is Matt Hardy and there are about 5 or 6 ladders in the ring with them as you would expect. Christian asks about McIntyre and says it was nice to see them in the ring together last week and not see Matt get dropped on his head for a change. Matt talks about how much his time in WWE has sucked but he keeps coming back. He says his WILL NOT DIE thing but Christian cuts him off and says Will Not Win MITB. Preach it brother.
They talk about how great their careers have been and so on. According to Matt, the ECW Title was NOT a real world title. They both climb the ladder and go for the case which they would have had to be standing on top of the ladder to get and have had to move the ladder back about three feet to reach but whatever. They say at the same time that it’s going to be them that wins at MITB. This was a different kind of interview segment but it worked.
Christian starts to leave but comes back and Matt pops him. The Canadian is thrown into a ladder and Matt leaves to his music. That’s good as he needs the momentum more than Christian does.
Alberto Del Rio is still coming to Smackdown. I think this might be the same promo from last week, but I really don’t care enough to think back that far. This guy is going to be pretty bad in my eyes, but I guess he could be decent. He talks about honesty again and this goes nowhere.
Cody Rhoes is in front of a mirror making sure he looks perfect. He interviews himself in a funny moment. I keep wanting Dusty to pop up behind him and shout BOY ARE YOU CRAZY?
Kane vs. Luke Gallows
Punk is with Gallows. Kane of course dominates early as we’re somehow halfway done with this show. That doesn’t seem possible. The masked man runs in maybe two minutes in for the DQ. He goes down and Kane goes after Punk. Serena bounces down to ringside and says she has proof that Punk didn’t do it.
Serena says that Punk was saving her on Memorial Day which was when Taker was hurt. A video is played with the date on it of Serena walking into a bar. She hesitates for a LONG time and has a drink. Then she has a second and guy buys her more. The crowd reacts to her doing shots. And then Punk walks in with Gallows and the masked man, obviously pissed off. There’s no sound here which is a very nice touch like it has been on Raw.
Kane shoves Punk off and leaves. Serena apologizes to Punk but he’s too pissed off to accept it. He asks if she knows what she just did and leaves her there.
MVP vs. Chavo Guerrero
We see MVP and Kofi signing autographs at a Toys R Us where the new WWE action figures are being released. See, THIS is what Chavo should be doing. It’s better than JTG at least. Chavo says he’ll prove to Vickie how it’s done unlike what Drew failed at. He wants an IC Title shot too. At least there are guys talking about wanting the title. That’s a big step in the right direction at least.
Chavo hits the Three Amigos on MVP and the Frog Splash misses, most likely because he rolled through it. Less than thirty seconds later MVP hits the 305 to end it. This was nothing for the most part and just kind of came and went.
This week in WWE history: this time it’s Luger doing the bodyslam on Yoko on the USS Intrepid. That was indeed awesome. We do have to hear that incredibly obnoxious I’ll Be Your Hero song. Alfred Hayes gets a cameo and we see Luger win by count out at Summerslam in one of the strangest moments in WWF history.
Kelly Kelly vs. Michelle McCool
Does Tiffany actually serve any kind of purpose? Grisham says both of them are knockouts. That’s kind of a funny line for some reason. I could watch Laycool’s entrance all day. Michelle stalls a lot before we actually get going as the heels spray air freshener. Tiffany gets jumped and might have hurt her shoulder. Tiffany gets up long enough to distract Michelle and Kelly rolls her up for the pin. This again was too short to mean anything. I guess that might be the point though.
We see the legends beatdown on Raw.
Rey addresses us next.
Alberto Del Rio talks about accomplishing the impossible or something. And something about inspiration. Get this guy off my TV.
Rey gets the full on huge introduction and shows off the belt and all that jazz. This would have been a lot better, oh I don’t know, LAST WEEK? He says nothing at all of note other than Swagger won’t beat him. This of course gets like 4 minutes.
Jack Swagger/Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio/Big Show
The Dashing name works well as while it sounds like an indy name, he’s talented enough to make it work I think. Rey and Rhodes start us off which is an interesting pairing. Striker points out that it sucks that there are 7 months between Twilight movies and 11 years between Toy Story sequels. He’s absolutely right. Show throws Cody over the top onto Swagger and we take a break.
Back and it’s the starters in there again. Rey hits a seated senton for two. Swagger kicks his head off and goes higher up on my list of favorites because of it. Again with the big boots! Striker points out why Cody is dashing. Ok then. Cody hits more or less the Morrison spinkick off the ropes as Striker says he needs a name for that. He suggests the Dashiell Hammett but realizes no one will get that (guy that wrote Maltese Falcon).
Show comes in off the hot tag and cleans house but his leg gives out. Rey drops the dime on Swagger for two. 619 is countered into the ankle lock but Rey is in the rope. Same thing as last week as he won’t let go for the DQ. Rey taps of course, thereby making him look weak again. Is there something against Smackdown champions? The heels leave as the faces’ ankles hurt to end the show.
Results
Kofi Kingston b. Dolph Ziggler – Trouble in Paradise
Kane b. Luke Gallows via DQ when the masked man ran in
MVP b. Chavo Guerrero – 305
Kelly Kelly b. Michelle McCool – Rollup
Rey Mysterio/Big Show b. Cody Rhodes/Jack Swagger via DQ when Swagger wouldn’t release the Ankle Lock
Saturday
Steamboat seems to be doing much better.
It appears that both guys' visa issues are resolved and Barrett should be back Monday. I would tell you the same about Drew but who cares.
Sunday
No word on Riley’s condition and no Impact rating yet.
Quick Results
Raw
Vladimir Kozlov b. Santino Marella – Mat Slam
Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Pump Kick
Alicia Fox/Maryse b. Eve Torres/Gail Kim – Axe kick to Kim
R-Truth/Randy Orton/Evan Bourne/John Morrsion b. Ted DiBiase/Chris Jericho/Edge/Miz – RKO to DiBiase
NXT
MVP b. Husky Harris – 305
Kaval/Michael McGillicutty/Lucky Cannon b. Eli Cottonwood/Alex Riley/Titus O’Neil – Warrior’s Way to Riley
Titus O’Neil was eliminated in 8th place
Impact
Motor City Machine Guns b. Ink Inc – Sliced Bread #2/Sitout Powerbomb combination on Neal
Samoa Joe b. AJ Styles – Coquina Clutch
Brian Kendrick b. Desmond Wolfe – Cobra Clutch
Jay Lethal b. Matt Morgan – Missile Dropkick
Madison Rayne b. Taylor Wilde – Knee to the back of the head
Jeff Hardy b. Abyss – Swanton Bomb
Smackdown
Kofi Kingston b. Dolph Ziggler – Trouble in Paradise
Kane b. Luke Gallows via DQ when the masked man ran in
MVP b. Chavo Guerrero – 305
Kelly Kelly b. Michelle McCool – Rollup
Rey Mysterio/Big Show b. Cody Rhodes/Jack Swagger via DQ when Swagger wouldn’t release the Ankle Lock