klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Raw
Date: June 21, 2010
Location: Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole
Guest Host: N/A
They’re the NXT Seven now. Not horrible I guess. It’s the night after the Fatal Fourway PPV where Sheamus stole the belt from Cena thanks to the NXT guys. We begin the build to MITB here, so let’s get to it.
And here’s Vince. He botches the name of the PPV right off the bat. He blames Bret for what happened last night and blames him for everything, prompting a big WE WANT BRET chant. Bret is fired as GM. That lasted longer than I expected. YOU’RE FIRED. Oh like he wasn’t going to say it. The new GM will remain anonymous and will send e-mails to a computer, which Cole will announce via a microphone.
Here’s the first one while Vince talks. All of the NXT Seven are hired and they’ll be talking tonight, thereby making the entire NXT season worthless but whatever. Here’s Sheamus. He’s sad looking….and he VACATES THE BELT??? Ah ok never mind. That was GREAT. He said he couldn’t accept the title this way, but he will anyway after holding it up to Vince. That was hilarious. He thanks the NXT guys for all the hell they’ve raised.
This is a great idea as it implies the roster is divided, which makes sense as the Raw roster vs. NXT would be dominated. And here’s Cena, who Sheamus has beaten for both of his world titles. He likes the new GM because the hiring means he’s guaranteed they’ll show up. He also wants his rematch TONIGHT.
E-MAIL NUMBER TWO! It says the main event tonight is a WWE Title match between Sheamus and Cena, meaning we have a mixed GM. I like it. Ah here’s a third one, and the match will have a guest referee: Vince. Oh I like this.
Evan Bourne vs. Chris Jericho
Really? Ok then. He has a mic little to my shock. He says if he loses he’ll leave WWE FOREVER. Damn they’re hitting on a lot of cylinders here. We go to a break about 30 seconds into this. Bourne keeps going for a quick win which is a smart idea at least. He goes to the floor and BARELY makes it back in which was a nice touch. Jericho might be spitting up blood or something but as Jericho goes for the Walls Bourne gets a tornado DDT for two.
I love that butterfly suplex into a backbreaker that Jericho does. They repeat some spots from last night but Jericho pulls Bourne back to the middle of the ring in the Walls. This is an intriguing match and Bourne gets a BIG pop for reaching the ropes. They’re buying it.
Air Bourne hits knees to the face and the Codebreaker ends it. Maybe now we can hear the end of this jobbing bullshit. Jericho helps him up and then shoves him down like the asshole that he is. Nice and predictable with the emphasis on the nice.
Vince is on the phone with the GM and says to surprise everyone else, but not to surprise Vince.
Virgil is in the back with Ted who fires him and introduces Maryse as his new….whatever. Virgil asks what about protection. Without missing a beat, Ted says he’ll go to the drug store, making me laugh.
The Hart Dynasty say they don’t like the NXT guys. Kidd is BAD on the mic. Natalya isn’t bad and neither is David, but Kidd is BAD.
A LONG black limo is here.
Natalya vs. Tamina
The whole lifting Natalya up is cool for some reason. Cole says there’s no return address on the e-mails. Ok then. After not much, HERE THEY COME!
It’s the NXT guys and Barret tries to talk but Kidd dives on them. Ass kicking commences and it’s NXT in charge. And now it’s commercial time. Back from break, they say that since they have contracts now, things can be returned to normal, and they apologize. Damn it. Gabriel apologizes to Hart, Kidd and Smith. Young says they had to make a statement so they attacked Cena. I don’t like where this is going.
Young acknowledges that he is the Black John Cena. Barrett says that they’re united and it’ll never be broken. He also gets his PPV title shot back. They need to get in the ring and actually win some matches soon. Barrett wants Sheamus or whoever is the world champion after tonight.
John Morrison vs. Ted DiBiase
Morrison has Cottonwood with him and I’m starting to like him a bit I think. Ted comes out with Maryse, the belt and a mic. Ted says he has more important things to do so instead we get this.
John Morrison vs. Zach Ryder
Yep the music is awesome. This is about what you would expect with both of the rookies on the floor. Hey look it’s another chinlock. This is fairly short and fairly bad, ending with Morrison hitting Starship Pain.
Cena doesn’t buy the apology and wants to get his revenge and his title back. Vince comes up and says the best man will win.
Great Khali/Eve Torres vs. Alicia Fox/Primo Colon
Oh dear. The guys start us off and Primo runs. We can’t go gender vs. gender here so the girls go at it. I hope Eve is going to wear blue all the time now. And that’s about it for the guys. Alicia takes a moonsault and then the guys are in again. Punjabi Plunge ends it. They dance afterwards. PLEASE not a romance thing here.
Orton is on the way to the ring.
And here’s Orton. At least he didn’t pull a Jericho from 99 and get lost, even though those were some absolutely hilarious segments. He says he’s going to punt all of the NXT guys in the skull. He focuses on Barrett and accepts his apology and wants him to win the WWE Title, because if he does then Orton is going to take it from him…..AND HERE IS MIZ. OH I LIKE THIS A LOT.
Miz talks about how sick he is of Orton and then fucks up his line by saying he’s held the US Title and WWE Title at the same time. He wants the next title shot. He goes for the catchphrase and it’s on. RKO is blocked and Miz runs….and here’s Edge to spear Orton. Edge says that now the real fun begins. As long as that doesn’t mean Edge/Miz as a tag team I’ll be somewhat happy.
World title match is next.
Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. John Cena
The tie dude gives us the big match intros. There’s a regular referee here too for no apparent reason. They get going early and Sheamus is dominating, which isn’t something you see that often. The dueling chants start up and the CENA SUCKS voices are deeper, which implies guys hate him. WHITE hot crowd here also. Back from break and we’re more or less even.
You can feel something coming here as both guys are down from a double clothesline. The kick misses and here comes Superman (Lawler’s words not mine). FU is blocked and Sheamus hits the Irish Curse which is a great name. Cean counters the Celtic Cross into the STFU. And there are the ropes of course but damn they’re doing a great job at building suspense. Cena doesn’t break until four because HE HAS TIL FIVE.
We head to the floor now and both guys are down. Sheamus sets the steps up on their end in the aisle. Cena is more or less out cold and gets thrown into them which isn’t a DQ somehow. The fans are looking around for the NXT guys and after the Bicycle Kick HERE THEY COME.
They go for Sheamus and Skip is directing traffic. There go the announcers as I’m guessing it’s a no contest. Cena goes onto the table and damn there are a lot of wires under there. BUT HOW WILL WE CHECK OUR EMAIL NOW? Vince has a mic and gets in the ring and asks if Cena is still breathing. He invites the NXT guys into the ring and says he can take at least partial responsibility and wants applause.
Next week the GM is going to reveal something. The NXT guys stare Vince down and look PISSED. And then they all smile. That was awesome again. He makes a joke about Wade and they all circle him. There’s a Daniel Bryan chant as THEY BEAT DOWN VINCE! Sheffield hits a huge clothesline and Barrett hits his mat slam.
This is amazing as the 450 hits as well. The fans chant for NXT, showing how much Vince really is hated. That’s either awesome or awful and I’m not sure which. Justin “NO NOT A TIE” Roberts calls for help as the show ends.
Results
Chris Jericho b. Evan Bourne – Codebreaker
Natalya vs. Tamina went to a no contest due to the NXT Seven interfering
John Morrison b. Zach Ryder – Starship Pain
Eve Torres/Great Khali b. Primo Colon/Alicia Fox – Punjabi Plunge to Colon
John Cena vs. Sheamus went to a no contest due to the NXT Seven interfering
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.5 and over 5 million viewers. I believe that’s 4 straight weeks of ratings increasing.
Owen Hart’s wife is suing WWE over some agreement they had being broken about using anything related to Owen because his kids, who are at least 11 at this point, shouldn’t be reminded about his death. Somehow showing his face reminds them of his death. So, wouldn’t her suing over it remind them of it also?
NXT
Date: June 22, 2010
Location: Verizon Wireless Center, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
Lucky Cannon vs. Cody Rhodes. That’s all that’s been announced so far I think.
There’s my theme song. I have it on my IPOD now and it sounds far different than this one does. The first Pro’s Poll is next week.
Some new chick is in the ring to do the announcing/hosting. Ok then. The pros come out first and I’ll spare you a big long list. And here’s the first match.
Alex Riley/The Miz vs. MVP/Percy Watson
Seriously, just hire Riley now. The new chick says Watson and MVP combine to weigh less than 250lbs. I know MVP sucks but he can suck away over 200lbs? Riley vs. MVP starts us off. And they never touch at all as here’s Watson. The guy can work a crowd. I’ll give him that. And he can throw a DAMN fine dropkick.
After Watson dominates for the most part, it all breaks down of course. Watson hits a nice spinning splash for two, but it all breaks WAY down and the Skull Crushing Finale crushes Watson’s skull finally to end it.
Titus O’Neil talks about how he was a troubled youth but he got help and now cares about his kids a lot. He talks about playing for the Florida Gators and being awesome there. This REALLY humanized him as he came off as sounding very intelligent and well-read, which he needs.
Titus O’Neil vs. Michael McGillicutty
O’Neil is a face here, slapping hands with the crowd. Again I’ll be referring to him as Joe Hennig because that’s his name and it works FAR better. He cuts a promo about calling his mom after his first win which is hammy but tugs at the heart strings which is the best thing he can do. They actually acknowledge where his name comes from by saying that’s his mother’s maiden name.
Pay no attention to them talking about how much he’s into his lineage and that his father and grandfather wrestled under their own last names. They botch the hell out of I think a backdrop as the match more or less grinds to a halt. And then Hennig hits a REALLY fast spinning neckbreaker for the pin which I think he used last week.
Kaval vs. Cottonwood next.
Kaval vs. Eli Cottonwood
No intro for Kaval and Laycool gets hotter and hotter every week. Damn. Well it’s David vs. Goliath and I’m not sure how well this can work as Kaval’s offense is fairly limited and Cottonwood is just limited in general. His look is great though. We hit a bearhug maybe a minute in and Kaval is in trouble.
Is there a reason Cottonwood is wearing dress pants? Kaval hits a SICK kick like the one Morrison uses. And then Cottonwood just grabs him by the head and throws him over the ropes. Kaval hits a springboard dropkick to the back of the head which looked VERY stiff. Cottonwood hits what I can only describe as a reverse chokeslam to get the pin.
Lucky Cannon has gotten lucky before. I’m older than him and that’s just not right.
Laycool give Kaval a pink shirt and literally force him to smile. This was amusing because Laycool has this thing DOWN.
We recap the ending of NXT last week and the whole Rhodes vs. Cannon build up. Striker got hit by Rhodes but he says it’s about the rookies and not him. He sounded mad here, but he came off very well I think. I liked it.
We reshow, not recap, the Vince beatdown from last night. I get that it’s big, but couldn’t we have a quick match in this time span instead? The Raw GM says the actions will be handled accordingly.
Cody Rhodes vs. Lucky Cannon
Cody makes this a five minute challenge instead of a regular match. Ok then. Cody takes him down to the mat and Cole is already suckling on Cody. Matthews kind of goes off on Cole which I like as he has limited personality. There was a new announcer chick here for no apparent reason also. Cody hooks an inverted Gory Special and kills time with it as we’re down to 2:10 left. Rhodes kicks the HELL out of Cannon with a minute ten to go. Cross Rhodes ends it with about a minute left.
We bring out all the rookies here for a chance to give their closing arguments for the poll. They all have 45 seconds.
Riley wants to know if they recognize him because ten years ago he was stuffing everyone in lockers. He sounds damn charismatic and very articulate. It works. He goes past four buzzers which is kind of funny.
Kaval, in the pink shirt and sounding like Rikishi, talks about how he wasn’t given a chance to prove himself ten years ago when he was told he was too small. He gets four buzzers and then gets his mic cut off.
O’Neil is freaking INTENSE and says he’s like all of us and that he’s worked hard and in the end he’ll win. He didn’t use all of his time.
Hennig says he has no weakness and that he’s the next breakout star. He didn’t say much, but he had the poise here which is good.
Cottonwood says he’s patient and threatens to strike, and that his actions will speak louder than his words.
Watson says he likes to have a good time like the WWE Universe. He talks VERY fast and does his thing which the crowd reacts to.
Cannon says he appreciates what he has and knows he’s Lucky. I still don’t like him.
Husky Harris says he doesn’t need 45 seconds and BLASTS STRIKER. Striker back in the ring soon? That ends the show.
Results
The Miz/Alex Riley b. MVP/Percy Watson – Skull Crushing Finale to Watson
Michael McGillicutty b. Titus O’Neil – Spinning neckbreaker
Eli Cottonwood b. Kaval – Reverse Chokeslam
Cody Rhodes b. Lucky Cannon – Cross Rhodes
Wednesday
Savannah was released. Ok then.
NXT got a .86.
Thursday
Apparently Bret is gone, likely due to the lawsuit. Damn it Owen's wife. Let it go already and get a lump sum.
ReAction is off the Spike schedule. That has to be a good thing in my eyes as four hours is just WAY too much in a row.
Impact
Date: June 24, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Episode Title: Monster on the Loose
Hogan comes out and calls out Abyss. It’s going to be Abyss vs. Hardy vs. Anderson vs. RVD at the PPV. Abyss says that someone is coming that will take over TNA and there’s nothing Hogan or anyone can do about it. Abyss rips off the ring and literally shoves it into Hogan’s mouth and chokes him down. He gets the glass out but here’s RVD. He gets beaten down. And here’s Anderson with a chair. That doesn’t work either even though Abyss lets him pop him with the chair.
Hogan and Bischoff can’t believe that a PSYCHO named Abyss that shot his father and loves glass and barbed wire went crazy. The brilliance here astounds me.
The Beautiful People argue about Angelina Love.
Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky
The main event is Anderson vs. Abyss in a No DQ match. Sky actually gets in some offense here but you can feel the ending coming. It’s mostly Sky here as Love’s arm looks bruised. Love gets a chair like she did last week but it doesn’t connect. Wow this is sloppy. I know the WWE is also, but damn this is almost Candice Michelle levels. Ok no it’s not that bad but whatever. Love counters a DDT into one of her own on the chair for the DQ. At least they did the right ending.
Lethal’s brother is here. I’m sure nothing bad will happen to him at all.
Nash and Young are in the back. I still don’t get why they couldn’t keep the tag belts.
Matt Morgan is here. He says he told us so. What did he tell us? Ah that he was going to leave Slammiversary with a win. SuperMex is in Mexico this week so Morgan calls him out. There’s a cage match at the PPV between them and Homicide jumps Morgan. He does the kick to the head to the post that he did to Hernandez.
AJ cowers before Flair and talks about a package of some sort. They’re looking for someone, who I would bet is either Lethal or related to him.
Kazarian vs. Jay Lethal
Lethal is number seven in the rankings and Kaz is unranked. Those things make my head hurt so I’ll drop it at that. After about a minute we see Lethal’s brother getting beaten up by the WORST chops I’ve ever seen. This turns into a pretty technically sound match with Lethal hitting a SWEET side roll for two. Kaz goes for the piledriver thing but Lethal counters into the throw in the air neckbreaker thing he’s been doing which finally has a name: the Lethal Injection.
Flair and AJ pop up on the screen and beat the brother up even more. Lethal stands there for a bit before going to the back and taking us to a break.
Jarrett is coming to the ring.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting
Sting is in the rafters so we go up. Jarrett beats the hell out of Sting and of course Sting is really in the ring. It’s 1999 all over again as Sting destroys him and says something about if you stand with them you’ll fall with them. No match obviously.
We recap Angle vs. Wolfe from back in October. Ah there’s actually a point to this.
Kurt Angle vs. Desmond Wolfe
Alas, if only Wolfe had a snowball’s chance in hell here. Chelsea is with him despite her costing him a bunch and turning on him at least once. Naturally this is technically sound as you have two greats in there. Wolfe gets a NICE reversal to a wristlock and slams Kurt into the mat with it in a nice one.
This is of course a damn good match as Wolfe is allowed to actually do something impressive in the ring for once. He hits some decent stuff but the Tower of London is blocked into the Angle Slam. The leg lace Ankle Lock ends it.
Anderson promises to teach Abyss how to wrestle. There’s more jokes there than there is paper to write them on.
We see a video of Williams vs. Kendrick and Williams is in the ring. Williams calls Kendrick out and Kendrick says he wants an Ultimate X match that you can also win by submission. Uh…actually that makes sense. Williams of course tries to jump him and yet Kendrick hooks the cobra clutch and gets the tap out.
Abyss again talks about how they are coming. If it’s the ECW guys I don’t know what I’ll do.
Ink Inc and 3D fight in the back….again. D-Von shoves Bubba and yells at him.
Tag Championship Series: Beer Money vs. Ink Inc.
Neal is out in the back so it’s 2-1. The Guns are on commentary, making their token appearance this month. Dreamer, Richards and Raven come into the crowd. Neal comes out holding his head. This is kind of a mess but kind of not. Neal can barely move so at least he can sell. Moore hits a nice dive over the top to take out Roode. Storm misses a super kick but the Mooregasm is blocked. I still hate that name. DWI ends it.
AJ and Kaz do a fairly stupid bit as AJ gets an AJ action figure delivered to the arena for some reason.
Mr. Anderson vs. Abyss
This is hardcore which means very little. There isn’t much at all to say here as Anderson dominated for the most part. Somehow for a ten minute match, this wasn’t much. As was said in the LD, for a falls count anywhere match this didn’t really go anywhere. Anderson gets some nice shots with the kendo stick but once we get in the ring
Abyss realizes he’s the monster heel and goes insane (er…maybe he went sane. It’s hard to tell with him) and hits Shock Treatment which has to hurt like hell for the pin. Post match they fight up to the ramp and Abyss throws him off. Hogan comes out and pops him with a chair that does nothing at all. The point and YOU end the show.
Results
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love via DQ – Love DDT’ed Sky on a chair
Jay Lethal b. Kazarian – Lethal Injection
Kurt Angle b. Desmond Wolfe – Ankle Lock
Beer Money b. Ink Inc. – DWI
Abyss b. Mr. Anderson – Shock Treatment
Friday
Impact got another 1.0.
Smackdown
Date: June 25, 2010
Location: Verizon Wireless Center, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Matt Striker, Todd Grisham
We open with Teddy and Vickie in the GM’s office and we’re told about Rey winning the title. He’ll defend it at MITB and there will also be an 8 man MITB match. So there are going to be 16 men in two matches. Great. There’s no time table given on how long the contract is good for which is odd. Drew comes in and yells at Teddy for not caring about Vince. Teddy has full control now since Vince is hurt. Matt Hardy is no longer suspended and it’s Drew vs. Matt tonight. Teddy has a spine now.
Cue theme song.
Big Show vs. Jack Swagger
Striker says ginormous isn’t a word when it actually is. I love him being wrong. Kane vs. Punk tonight in a No DQ match. Interesting. Swagger looks PISSED. He’s protesting this match and that he had to defend in the Fatal Fourway. He’s using the rematch clause at MITB, meaning he’s out of the ladder match I guess. He’s going to make everyone suffer because of his loss, starting with Big Show. Solid promo I though. Nothing great but solid.
Ok so the contract is good for a year. Got it. Show dominates early and hits a SUPERPLEX from the top. NICE. Show stands on his arm after we get back. That’s not something you see that often. Big Show chant starts up. ALL Show so far as Swagger has had nothing at all. Swagger hits a shoulder block to the leg which makes sense at least to take him down.
Here we go. Wait, does this EVER work? I can’t think of anytime that it has. Swagger hits a pair of very unique DDT’s to the foot. That’s innovative if nothing else. Swagger hits a middle rope shoulder block which is one of my favorite moves. The Vader Bomb hits once but the second time he catches in a chokeslam.
Wouldn’t that like, hurt his arm in theory? I mean it’s just a 260lb guy landing on his arm. Swagger busts out an ANKLE LOCK of all things and then the leg lock too, but Show makes the ropes. Swagger doesn’t let go though and Show TAPS, even though it’s a DQ.
We recap Archer and Hawkins beating MVP and Christian last week.
Vance Archer/Curt Hawkins/Dolph Ziggler vs. MVP/Christian/Kofi Kingston
So after about 5 minutes of intros we’re ready to go. Hawkins and MVP start us off and Grisham talks about how we haven’t seen Hawkins and Archer wrestle in a regular match. You know, because it’s not like there was a clip of their match last week or anything else that Grisham talked about less than 2 minutes ago. The faces all hit planchas or medium height spots. Back from a break and it’s MVP vs. Ziggler.
Grisham asks if Striker can imagine Kofi jumping off a ladder. Yeah because that’s nothing we’ve ever seen before. This is a fairly standard six man so far bit this has been fine. Ziggler is a guy that interests me a bit but they need to give him a significant win once in awhile. Everything breaks down and it’s all six in at once. Trouble in Paradise for Hawkins as MVP and Archer go to the floor. Zig Zag is blocked and Killswitch hits on Ziggler for the pin.
Rey is on Smackdown….next week. You know because the world champion can’t be on TV right?
We see the Vince beatdown segment again, which is a big deal but do we need to see it on both shows not named Raw? I do like that they’re acknowledging it on Smackdown now though.
Kane vows to the coffin that he’ll destroy the SES tonight by cutting off its head.
Matt is on the way to the ring.
Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre
Matt is in an undershirt now which might be the best thing for him. It worked for Swagger if nothing else. They actually go back and forth for awhile here with Drew hitting a Michinoku Driver from the top. Oddly enough Striker calls it the proper name first and then just calls it a Driver on the second one.
This is a fairly back and forth match, but I don’t think many people wanted to see a match go this long between these two. This is supposed to be a huge and violent feud and instead we’re getting a regular match out of it with Drew dominating for the most part.
Future Shock is countered and Matt takes over by shouting a lot before his moves. Is this WOW or something where you have powerups for moves? Drew goes for the stomp on the stairs like he did a few months ago but Hardy avoids it. Back in the ring a Twist of Fate hits to a pop for the pin out of nowhere.
Teddy pops up on screen and says he’s been doing some research and says that McIntyre’s Visa has expired and he has to go back to Scotland. Apparently it lasts for 90 days. Oddly enough he was IC Champion for longer than that but why pay attention to details?
Cody Rhodes and Husky Harris are here. Cody says he’s naturally good looking and is the most handsome star in WWE. He has a poll from WWE.com which has him, Jericho, Orton, Cena and MVP. Rhodes wins with 35% of the poll which is more or less dominance. NO ONE cares at all.
He says Harris is nothing special and says that it’s not because of his genetics that he’s hot since his dad and brother are ugly. He goes around ringside and tells a fan, Grisham and Chimmel that it’s not their fault that they’re ugly. He wants Teddy and Vickie to consider him for MITB and calls himself Dashing Cody Rhodes at least 15 times. Ok then.
Dolph wants Vickie to get him gold or else.
Rosa Mendes is jumping rope. Ok then.
Kelly Kelly vs. Rosa Mendes
And here’s Laycool with Kaval. Rosa keeps jumping rope. Kelly hits her Fameasser thing and this is over in ten seconds. Now Kelly jumps rope. Ok then. No rating obviously.
We recap Swagger hurting Show. Ok then.
Kane vs. Punk STILL later tonight.
We see a vignette for a guy named Alberto del Rio. He’s Dos Caras from FCW. This is painful to watch. He talks about lies etc.
And no, Rey still won’t be here this week. Wow he never stops making my head hurt.
Kane vs. CM Punk
Punk asks if this is the face of a liar while wearing a mask. Nicely done. Kane dominates early and might have new tights. Gallows comes out and gets taken down. The masked guy is here and gets taken down too. All three of them beat on Kane and finally take him down. That lasts not long at all and it’s all Kane now.
Kane and Gallows look alike. The could even be twins. Nah maybe not. Gallows goes through the table and Punk runs through the crowd. We’re out in the lobby now and it’s Kane destroying him. We break some concession stands and merchandise tables. Punk goes outside and runs away. Pay no attention to the sweaty man in the mask and underwear running down the street.
Results
Big Show b. Jack Swagger via DQ – Swagger refused to break the ankle lock
Christian/MVP/Kofi Kingston b. Vance Archer/Dolph Ziggler/Curt Hawking – Killswitch to Ziggler
Matt Hardy b. Drew McIntyre – Twist of Fate
Kelly Kelly b. Rosa Mendes – K2
Kane vs. CM Punk went to a no contest
Saturday
This was a
Sunday
Very boring weekend.
Quick Results
Raw
Chris Jericho b. Evan Bourne – Codebreaker
Natalya vs. Tamina went to a no contest due to the NXT Seven interfering
John Morrison b. Zach Ryder – Starship Pain
Eve Torres/Great Khali b. Primo Colon/Alicia Fox – Punjabi Plunge to Colon
John Cena vs. Sheamus went to a no contest due to the NXT Seven interfering
NXT
The Miz/Alex Riley b. MVP/Percy Watson – Skull Crushing Finale to Watson
Michael McGillicutty b. Titus O’Neil – Spinning neckbreaker
Eli Cottonwood b. Kaval – Reverse Chokeslam
Cody Rhodes b. Lucky Cannon – Cross Rhodes
Impact
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love via DQ – Love DDT’ed Sky on a chair
Jay Lethal b. Kazarian – Lethal Injection
Kurt Angle b. Desmond Wolfe – Ankle Lock
Beer Money b. Ink Inc. – DWI
Abyss b. Mr. Anderson – Shock Treatment
Smackdown
Big Show b. Jack Swagger via DQ – Swagger refused to break the ankle lock
Christian/MVP/Kofi Kingston b. Vance Archer/Dolph Ziggler/Curt Hawking – Killswitch to Ziggler
Matt Hardy b. Drew McIntyre – Twist of Fate
Kelly Kelly b. Rosa Mendes – K2
Kane vs. CM Punk went to a no contest
Raw
Date: June 21, 2010
Location: Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole
Guest Host: N/A
They’re the NXT Seven now. Not horrible I guess. It’s the night after the Fatal Fourway PPV where Sheamus stole the belt from Cena thanks to the NXT guys. We begin the build to MITB here, so let’s get to it.
And here’s Vince. He botches the name of the PPV right off the bat. He blames Bret for what happened last night and blames him for everything, prompting a big WE WANT BRET chant. Bret is fired as GM. That lasted longer than I expected. YOU’RE FIRED. Oh like he wasn’t going to say it. The new GM will remain anonymous and will send e-mails to a computer, which Cole will announce via a microphone.
Here’s the first one while Vince talks. All of the NXT Seven are hired and they’ll be talking tonight, thereby making the entire NXT season worthless but whatever. Here’s Sheamus. He’s sad looking….and he VACATES THE BELT??? Ah ok never mind. That was GREAT. He said he couldn’t accept the title this way, but he will anyway after holding it up to Vince. That was hilarious. He thanks the NXT guys for all the hell they’ve raised.
This is a great idea as it implies the roster is divided, which makes sense as the Raw roster vs. NXT would be dominated. And here’s Cena, who Sheamus has beaten for both of his world titles. He likes the new GM because the hiring means he’s guaranteed they’ll show up. He also wants his rematch TONIGHT.
E-MAIL NUMBER TWO! It says the main event tonight is a WWE Title match between Sheamus and Cena, meaning we have a mixed GM. I like it. Ah here’s a third one, and the match will have a guest referee: Vince. Oh I like this.
Evan Bourne vs. Chris Jericho
Really? Ok then. He has a mic little to my shock. He says if he loses he’ll leave WWE FOREVER. Damn they’re hitting on a lot of cylinders here. We go to a break about 30 seconds into this. Bourne keeps going for a quick win which is a smart idea at least. He goes to the floor and BARELY makes it back in which was a nice touch. Jericho might be spitting up blood or something but as Jericho goes for the Walls Bourne gets a tornado DDT for two.
I love that butterfly suplex into a backbreaker that Jericho does. They repeat some spots from last night but Jericho pulls Bourne back to the middle of the ring in the Walls. This is an intriguing match and Bourne gets a BIG pop for reaching the ropes. They’re buying it.
Air Bourne hits knees to the face and the Codebreaker ends it. Maybe now we can hear the end of this jobbing bullshit. Jericho helps him up and then shoves him down like the asshole that he is. Nice and predictable with the emphasis on the nice.
Vince is on the phone with the GM and says to surprise everyone else, but not to surprise Vince.
Virgil is in the back with Ted who fires him and introduces Maryse as his new….whatever. Virgil asks what about protection. Without missing a beat, Ted says he’ll go to the drug store, making me laugh.
The Hart Dynasty say they don’t like the NXT guys. Kidd is BAD on the mic. Natalya isn’t bad and neither is David, but Kidd is BAD.
A LONG black limo is here.
Natalya vs. Tamina
The whole lifting Natalya up is cool for some reason. Cole says there’s no return address on the e-mails. Ok then. After not much, HERE THEY COME!
It’s the NXT guys and Barret tries to talk but Kidd dives on them. Ass kicking commences and it’s NXT in charge. And now it’s commercial time. Back from break, they say that since they have contracts now, things can be returned to normal, and they apologize. Damn it. Gabriel apologizes to Hart, Kidd and Smith. Young says they had to make a statement so they attacked Cena. I don’t like where this is going.
Young acknowledges that he is the Black John Cena. Barrett says that they’re united and it’ll never be broken. He also gets his PPV title shot back. They need to get in the ring and actually win some matches soon. Barrett wants Sheamus or whoever is the world champion after tonight.
John Morrison vs. Ted DiBiase
Morrison has Cottonwood with him and I’m starting to like him a bit I think. Ted comes out with Maryse, the belt and a mic. Ted says he has more important things to do so instead we get this.
John Morrison vs. Zach Ryder
Yep the music is awesome. This is about what you would expect with both of the rookies on the floor. Hey look it’s another chinlock. This is fairly short and fairly bad, ending with Morrison hitting Starship Pain.
Cena doesn’t buy the apology and wants to get his revenge and his title back. Vince comes up and says the best man will win.
Great Khali/Eve Torres vs. Alicia Fox/Primo Colon
Oh dear. The guys start us off and Primo runs. We can’t go gender vs. gender here so the girls go at it. I hope Eve is going to wear blue all the time now. And that’s about it for the guys. Alicia takes a moonsault and then the guys are in again. Punjabi Plunge ends it. They dance afterwards. PLEASE not a romance thing here.
Orton is on the way to the ring.
And here’s Orton. At least he didn’t pull a Jericho from 99 and get lost, even though those were some absolutely hilarious segments. He says he’s going to punt all of the NXT guys in the skull. He focuses on Barrett and accepts his apology and wants him to win the WWE Title, because if he does then Orton is going to take it from him…..AND HERE IS MIZ. OH I LIKE THIS A LOT.
Miz talks about how sick he is of Orton and then fucks up his line by saying he’s held the US Title and WWE Title at the same time. He wants the next title shot. He goes for the catchphrase and it’s on. RKO is blocked and Miz runs….and here’s Edge to spear Orton. Edge says that now the real fun begins. As long as that doesn’t mean Edge/Miz as a tag team I’ll be somewhat happy.
World title match is next.
Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. John Cena
The tie dude gives us the big match intros. There’s a regular referee here too for no apparent reason. They get going early and Sheamus is dominating, which isn’t something you see that often. The dueling chants start up and the CENA SUCKS voices are deeper, which implies guys hate him. WHITE hot crowd here also. Back from break and we’re more or less even.
You can feel something coming here as both guys are down from a double clothesline. The kick misses and here comes Superman (Lawler’s words not mine). FU is blocked and Sheamus hits the Irish Curse which is a great name. Cean counters the Celtic Cross into the STFU. And there are the ropes of course but damn they’re doing a great job at building suspense. Cena doesn’t break until four because HE HAS TIL FIVE.
We head to the floor now and both guys are down. Sheamus sets the steps up on their end in the aisle. Cena is more or less out cold and gets thrown into them which isn’t a DQ somehow. The fans are looking around for the NXT guys and after the Bicycle Kick HERE THEY COME.
They go for Sheamus and Skip is directing traffic. There go the announcers as I’m guessing it’s a no contest. Cena goes onto the table and damn there are a lot of wires under there. BUT HOW WILL WE CHECK OUR EMAIL NOW? Vince has a mic and gets in the ring and asks if Cena is still breathing. He invites the NXT guys into the ring and says he can take at least partial responsibility and wants applause.
Next week the GM is going to reveal something. The NXT guys stare Vince down and look PISSED. And then they all smile. That was awesome again. He makes a joke about Wade and they all circle him. There’s a Daniel Bryan chant as THEY BEAT DOWN VINCE! Sheffield hits a huge clothesline and Barrett hits his mat slam.
This is amazing as the 450 hits as well. The fans chant for NXT, showing how much Vince really is hated. That’s either awesome or awful and I’m not sure which. Justin “NO NOT A TIE” Roberts calls for help as the show ends.
Results
Chris Jericho b. Evan Bourne – Codebreaker
Natalya vs. Tamina went to a no contest due to the NXT Seven interfering
John Morrison b. Zach Ryder – Starship Pain
Eve Torres/Great Khali b. Primo Colon/Alicia Fox – Punjabi Plunge to Colon
John Cena vs. Sheamus went to a no contest due to the NXT Seven interfering
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.5 and over 5 million viewers. I believe that’s 4 straight weeks of ratings increasing.
Owen Hart’s wife is suing WWE over some agreement they had being broken about using anything related to Owen because his kids, who are at least 11 at this point, shouldn’t be reminded about his death. Somehow showing his face reminds them of his death. So, wouldn’t her suing over it remind them of it also?
NXT
Date: June 22, 2010
Location: Verizon Wireless Center, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
Lucky Cannon vs. Cody Rhodes. That’s all that’s been announced so far I think.
There’s my theme song. I have it on my IPOD now and it sounds far different than this one does. The first Pro’s Poll is next week.
Some new chick is in the ring to do the announcing/hosting. Ok then. The pros come out first and I’ll spare you a big long list. And here’s the first match.
Alex Riley/The Miz vs. MVP/Percy Watson
Seriously, just hire Riley now. The new chick says Watson and MVP combine to weigh less than 250lbs. I know MVP sucks but he can suck away over 200lbs? Riley vs. MVP starts us off. And they never touch at all as here’s Watson. The guy can work a crowd. I’ll give him that. And he can throw a DAMN fine dropkick.
After Watson dominates for the most part, it all breaks down of course. Watson hits a nice spinning splash for two, but it all breaks WAY down and the Skull Crushing Finale crushes Watson’s skull finally to end it.
Titus O’Neil talks about how he was a troubled youth but he got help and now cares about his kids a lot. He talks about playing for the Florida Gators and being awesome there. This REALLY humanized him as he came off as sounding very intelligent and well-read, which he needs.
Titus O’Neil vs. Michael McGillicutty
O’Neil is a face here, slapping hands with the crowd. Again I’ll be referring to him as Joe Hennig because that’s his name and it works FAR better. He cuts a promo about calling his mom after his first win which is hammy but tugs at the heart strings which is the best thing he can do. They actually acknowledge where his name comes from by saying that’s his mother’s maiden name.
Pay no attention to them talking about how much he’s into his lineage and that his father and grandfather wrestled under their own last names. They botch the hell out of I think a backdrop as the match more or less grinds to a halt. And then Hennig hits a REALLY fast spinning neckbreaker for the pin which I think he used last week.
Kaval vs. Cottonwood next.
Kaval vs. Eli Cottonwood
No intro for Kaval and Laycool gets hotter and hotter every week. Damn. Well it’s David vs. Goliath and I’m not sure how well this can work as Kaval’s offense is fairly limited and Cottonwood is just limited in general. His look is great though. We hit a bearhug maybe a minute in and Kaval is in trouble.
Is there a reason Cottonwood is wearing dress pants? Kaval hits a SICK kick like the one Morrison uses. And then Cottonwood just grabs him by the head and throws him over the ropes. Kaval hits a springboard dropkick to the back of the head which looked VERY stiff. Cottonwood hits what I can only describe as a reverse chokeslam to get the pin.
Lucky Cannon has gotten lucky before. I’m older than him and that’s just not right.
Laycool give Kaval a pink shirt and literally force him to smile. This was amusing because Laycool has this thing DOWN.
We recap the ending of NXT last week and the whole Rhodes vs. Cannon build up. Striker got hit by Rhodes but he says it’s about the rookies and not him. He sounded mad here, but he came off very well I think. I liked it.
We reshow, not recap, the Vince beatdown from last night. I get that it’s big, but couldn’t we have a quick match in this time span instead? The Raw GM says the actions will be handled accordingly.
Cody Rhodes vs. Lucky Cannon
Cody makes this a five minute challenge instead of a regular match. Ok then. Cody takes him down to the mat and Cole is already suckling on Cody. Matthews kind of goes off on Cole which I like as he has limited personality. There was a new announcer chick here for no apparent reason also. Cody hooks an inverted Gory Special and kills time with it as we’re down to 2:10 left. Rhodes kicks the HELL out of Cannon with a minute ten to go. Cross Rhodes ends it with about a minute left.
We bring out all the rookies here for a chance to give their closing arguments for the poll. They all have 45 seconds.
Riley wants to know if they recognize him because ten years ago he was stuffing everyone in lockers. He sounds damn charismatic and very articulate. It works. He goes past four buzzers which is kind of funny.
Kaval, in the pink shirt and sounding like Rikishi, talks about how he wasn’t given a chance to prove himself ten years ago when he was told he was too small. He gets four buzzers and then gets his mic cut off.
O’Neil is freaking INTENSE and says he’s like all of us and that he’s worked hard and in the end he’ll win. He didn’t use all of his time.
Hennig says he has no weakness and that he’s the next breakout star. He didn’t say much, but he had the poise here which is good.
Cottonwood says he’s patient and threatens to strike, and that his actions will speak louder than his words.
Watson says he likes to have a good time like the WWE Universe. He talks VERY fast and does his thing which the crowd reacts to.
Cannon says he appreciates what he has and knows he’s Lucky. I still don’t like him.
Husky Harris says he doesn’t need 45 seconds and BLASTS STRIKER. Striker back in the ring soon? That ends the show.
Results
The Miz/Alex Riley b. MVP/Percy Watson – Skull Crushing Finale to Watson
Michael McGillicutty b. Titus O’Neil – Spinning neckbreaker
Eli Cottonwood b. Kaval – Reverse Chokeslam
Cody Rhodes b. Lucky Cannon – Cross Rhodes
Wednesday
Savannah was released. Ok then.
NXT got a .86.
Thursday
Apparently Bret is gone, likely due to the lawsuit. Damn it Owen's wife. Let it go already and get a lump sum.
ReAction is off the Spike schedule. That has to be a good thing in my eyes as four hours is just WAY too much in a row.
Impact
Date: June 24, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Episode Title: Monster on the Loose
Hogan comes out and calls out Abyss. It’s going to be Abyss vs. Hardy vs. Anderson vs. RVD at the PPV. Abyss says that someone is coming that will take over TNA and there’s nothing Hogan or anyone can do about it. Abyss rips off the ring and literally shoves it into Hogan’s mouth and chokes him down. He gets the glass out but here’s RVD. He gets beaten down. And here’s Anderson with a chair. That doesn’t work either even though Abyss lets him pop him with the chair.
Hogan and Bischoff can’t believe that a PSYCHO named Abyss that shot his father and loves glass and barbed wire went crazy. The brilliance here astounds me.
The Beautiful People argue about Angelina Love.
Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky
The main event is Anderson vs. Abyss in a No DQ match. Sky actually gets in some offense here but you can feel the ending coming. It’s mostly Sky here as Love’s arm looks bruised. Love gets a chair like she did last week but it doesn’t connect. Wow this is sloppy. I know the WWE is also, but damn this is almost Candice Michelle levels. Ok no it’s not that bad but whatever. Love counters a DDT into one of her own on the chair for the DQ. At least they did the right ending.
Lethal’s brother is here. I’m sure nothing bad will happen to him at all.
Nash and Young are in the back. I still don’t get why they couldn’t keep the tag belts.
Matt Morgan is here. He says he told us so. What did he tell us? Ah that he was going to leave Slammiversary with a win. SuperMex is in Mexico this week so Morgan calls him out. There’s a cage match at the PPV between them and Homicide jumps Morgan. He does the kick to the head to the post that he did to Hernandez.
AJ cowers before Flair and talks about a package of some sort. They’re looking for someone, who I would bet is either Lethal or related to him.
Kazarian vs. Jay Lethal
Lethal is number seven in the rankings and Kaz is unranked. Those things make my head hurt so I’ll drop it at that. After about a minute we see Lethal’s brother getting beaten up by the WORST chops I’ve ever seen. This turns into a pretty technically sound match with Lethal hitting a SWEET side roll for two. Kaz goes for the piledriver thing but Lethal counters into the throw in the air neckbreaker thing he’s been doing which finally has a name: the Lethal Injection.
Flair and AJ pop up on the screen and beat the brother up even more. Lethal stands there for a bit before going to the back and taking us to a break.
Jarrett is coming to the ring.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting
Sting is in the rafters so we go up. Jarrett beats the hell out of Sting and of course Sting is really in the ring. It’s 1999 all over again as Sting destroys him and says something about if you stand with them you’ll fall with them. No match obviously.
We recap Angle vs. Wolfe from back in October. Ah there’s actually a point to this.
Kurt Angle vs. Desmond Wolfe
Alas, if only Wolfe had a snowball’s chance in hell here. Chelsea is with him despite her costing him a bunch and turning on him at least once. Naturally this is technically sound as you have two greats in there. Wolfe gets a NICE reversal to a wristlock and slams Kurt into the mat with it in a nice one.
This is of course a damn good match as Wolfe is allowed to actually do something impressive in the ring for once. He hits some decent stuff but the Tower of London is blocked into the Angle Slam. The leg lace Ankle Lock ends it.
Anderson promises to teach Abyss how to wrestle. There’s more jokes there than there is paper to write them on.
We see a video of Williams vs. Kendrick and Williams is in the ring. Williams calls Kendrick out and Kendrick says he wants an Ultimate X match that you can also win by submission. Uh…actually that makes sense. Williams of course tries to jump him and yet Kendrick hooks the cobra clutch and gets the tap out.
Abyss again talks about how they are coming. If it’s the ECW guys I don’t know what I’ll do.
Ink Inc and 3D fight in the back….again. D-Von shoves Bubba and yells at him.
Tag Championship Series: Beer Money vs. Ink Inc.
Neal is out in the back so it’s 2-1. The Guns are on commentary, making their token appearance this month. Dreamer, Richards and Raven come into the crowd. Neal comes out holding his head. This is kind of a mess but kind of not. Neal can barely move so at least he can sell. Moore hits a nice dive over the top to take out Roode. Storm misses a super kick but the Mooregasm is blocked. I still hate that name. DWI ends it.
AJ and Kaz do a fairly stupid bit as AJ gets an AJ action figure delivered to the arena for some reason.
Mr. Anderson vs. Abyss
This is hardcore which means very little. There isn’t much at all to say here as Anderson dominated for the most part. Somehow for a ten minute match, this wasn’t much. As was said in the LD, for a falls count anywhere match this didn’t really go anywhere. Anderson gets some nice shots with the kendo stick but once we get in the ring
Abyss realizes he’s the monster heel and goes insane (er…maybe he went sane. It’s hard to tell with him) and hits Shock Treatment which has to hurt like hell for the pin. Post match they fight up to the ramp and Abyss throws him off. Hogan comes out and pops him with a chair that does nothing at all. The point and YOU end the show.
Results
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love via DQ – Love DDT’ed Sky on a chair
Jay Lethal b. Kazarian – Lethal Injection
Kurt Angle b. Desmond Wolfe – Ankle Lock
Beer Money b. Ink Inc. – DWI
Abyss b. Mr. Anderson – Shock Treatment
Friday
Impact got another 1.0.
Smackdown
Date: June 25, 2010
Location: Verizon Wireless Center, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Matt Striker, Todd Grisham
We open with Teddy and Vickie in the GM’s office and we’re told about Rey winning the title. He’ll defend it at MITB and there will also be an 8 man MITB match. So there are going to be 16 men in two matches. Great. There’s no time table given on how long the contract is good for which is odd. Drew comes in and yells at Teddy for not caring about Vince. Teddy has full control now since Vince is hurt. Matt Hardy is no longer suspended and it’s Drew vs. Matt tonight. Teddy has a spine now.
Cue theme song.
Big Show vs. Jack Swagger
Striker says ginormous isn’t a word when it actually is. I love him being wrong. Kane vs. Punk tonight in a No DQ match. Interesting. Swagger looks PISSED. He’s protesting this match and that he had to defend in the Fatal Fourway. He’s using the rematch clause at MITB, meaning he’s out of the ladder match I guess. He’s going to make everyone suffer because of his loss, starting with Big Show. Solid promo I though. Nothing great but solid.
Ok so the contract is good for a year. Got it. Show dominates early and hits a SUPERPLEX from the top. NICE. Show stands on his arm after we get back. That’s not something you see that often. Big Show chant starts up. ALL Show so far as Swagger has had nothing at all. Swagger hits a shoulder block to the leg which makes sense at least to take him down.
Here we go. Wait, does this EVER work? I can’t think of anytime that it has. Swagger hits a pair of very unique DDT’s to the foot. That’s innovative if nothing else. Swagger hits a middle rope shoulder block which is one of my favorite moves. The Vader Bomb hits once but the second time he catches in a chokeslam.
Wouldn’t that like, hurt his arm in theory? I mean it’s just a 260lb guy landing on his arm. Swagger busts out an ANKLE LOCK of all things and then the leg lock too, but Show makes the ropes. Swagger doesn’t let go though and Show TAPS, even though it’s a DQ.
We recap Archer and Hawkins beating MVP and Christian last week.
Vance Archer/Curt Hawkins/Dolph Ziggler vs. MVP/Christian/Kofi Kingston
So after about 5 minutes of intros we’re ready to go. Hawkins and MVP start us off and Grisham talks about how we haven’t seen Hawkins and Archer wrestle in a regular match. You know, because it’s not like there was a clip of their match last week or anything else that Grisham talked about less than 2 minutes ago. The faces all hit planchas or medium height spots. Back from a break and it’s MVP vs. Ziggler.
Grisham asks if Striker can imagine Kofi jumping off a ladder. Yeah because that’s nothing we’ve ever seen before. This is a fairly standard six man so far bit this has been fine. Ziggler is a guy that interests me a bit but they need to give him a significant win once in awhile. Everything breaks down and it’s all six in at once. Trouble in Paradise for Hawkins as MVP and Archer go to the floor. Zig Zag is blocked and Killswitch hits on Ziggler for the pin.
Rey is on Smackdown….next week. You know because the world champion can’t be on TV right?
We see the Vince beatdown segment again, which is a big deal but do we need to see it on both shows not named Raw? I do like that they’re acknowledging it on Smackdown now though.
Kane vows to the coffin that he’ll destroy the SES tonight by cutting off its head.
Matt is on the way to the ring.
Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre
Matt is in an undershirt now which might be the best thing for him. It worked for Swagger if nothing else. They actually go back and forth for awhile here with Drew hitting a Michinoku Driver from the top. Oddly enough Striker calls it the proper name first and then just calls it a Driver on the second one.
This is a fairly back and forth match, but I don’t think many people wanted to see a match go this long between these two. This is supposed to be a huge and violent feud and instead we’re getting a regular match out of it with Drew dominating for the most part.
Future Shock is countered and Matt takes over by shouting a lot before his moves. Is this WOW or something where you have powerups for moves? Drew goes for the stomp on the stairs like he did a few months ago but Hardy avoids it. Back in the ring a Twist of Fate hits to a pop for the pin out of nowhere.
Teddy pops up on screen and says he’s been doing some research and says that McIntyre’s Visa has expired and he has to go back to Scotland. Apparently it lasts for 90 days. Oddly enough he was IC Champion for longer than that but why pay attention to details?
Cody Rhodes and Husky Harris are here. Cody says he’s naturally good looking and is the most handsome star in WWE. He has a poll from WWE.com which has him, Jericho, Orton, Cena and MVP. Rhodes wins with 35% of the poll which is more or less dominance. NO ONE cares at all.
He says Harris is nothing special and says that it’s not because of his genetics that he’s hot since his dad and brother are ugly. He goes around ringside and tells a fan, Grisham and Chimmel that it’s not their fault that they’re ugly. He wants Teddy and Vickie to consider him for MITB and calls himself Dashing Cody Rhodes at least 15 times. Ok then.
Dolph wants Vickie to get him gold or else.
Rosa Mendes is jumping rope. Ok then.
Kelly Kelly vs. Rosa Mendes
And here’s Laycool with Kaval. Rosa keeps jumping rope. Kelly hits her Fameasser thing and this is over in ten seconds. Now Kelly jumps rope. Ok then. No rating obviously.
We recap Swagger hurting Show. Ok then.
Kane vs. Punk STILL later tonight.
We see a vignette for a guy named Alberto del Rio. He’s Dos Caras from FCW. This is painful to watch. He talks about lies etc.
And no, Rey still won’t be here this week. Wow he never stops making my head hurt.
Kane vs. CM Punk
Punk asks if this is the face of a liar while wearing a mask. Nicely done. Kane dominates early and might have new tights. Gallows comes out and gets taken down. The masked guy is here and gets taken down too. All three of them beat on Kane and finally take him down. That lasts not long at all and it’s all Kane now.
Kane and Gallows look alike. The could even be twins. Nah maybe not. Gallows goes through the table and Punk runs through the crowd. We’re out in the lobby now and it’s Kane destroying him. We break some concession stands and merchandise tables. Punk goes outside and runs away. Pay no attention to the sweaty man in the mask and underwear running down the street.
Results
Big Show b. Jack Swagger via DQ – Swagger refused to break the ankle lock
Christian/MVP/Kofi Kingston b. Vance Archer/Dolph Ziggler/Curt Hawking – Killswitch to Ziggler
Matt Hardy b. Drew McIntyre – Twist of Fate
Kelly Kelly b. Rosa Mendes – K2
Kane vs. CM Punk went to a no contest
Saturday
This was a
Sunday
Very boring weekend.
Quick Results
Raw
Chris Jericho b. Evan Bourne – Codebreaker
Natalya vs. Tamina went to a no contest due to the NXT Seven interfering
John Morrison b. Zach Ryder – Starship Pain
Eve Torres/Great Khali b. Primo Colon/Alicia Fox – Punjabi Plunge to Colon
John Cena vs. Sheamus went to a no contest due to the NXT Seven interfering
NXT
The Miz/Alex Riley b. MVP/Percy Watson – Skull Crushing Finale to Watson
Michael McGillicutty b. Titus O’Neil – Spinning neckbreaker
Eli Cottonwood b. Kaval – Reverse Chokeslam
Cody Rhodes b. Lucky Cannon – Cross Rhodes
Impact
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love via DQ – Love DDT’ed Sky on a chair
Jay Lethal b. Kazarian – Lethal Injection
Kurt Angle b. Desmond Wolfe – Ankle Lock
Beer Money b. Ink Inc. – DWI
Abyss b. Mr. Anderson – Shock Treatment
Smackdown
Big Show b. Jack Swagger via DQ – Swagger refused to break the ankle lock
Christian/MVP/Kofi Kingston b. Vance Archer/Dolph Ziggler/Curt Hawking – Killswitch to Ziggler
Matt Hardy b. Drew McIntyre – Twist of Fate
Kelly Kelly b. Rosa Mendes – K2
Kane vs. CM Punk went to a no contest