klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
John Morrison will be out for months due to having neck surgery. No word on how long itll be. Update: the surgery was only minor and he should be out about 4-6 weeks. Thats far less than expected Id assume.
Helms is being investigated for DUI in his motorcycle crash. My levels of concern have dropped a bit.
Smackdown got a 1.73, its lowest in weeks.
Chris Sabin has to have knee surgery.
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 9, 2011
Location: Thompson-Boling Arena, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
Were two weeks away from Over the Limit and unless Im overlooking it there arent any matches officially made. After the previous weeks birthday party for Rock we can finally get back to the regular stuff on Monday nights. Id bet on more with Miz and Cena as Miz can say he got a pinfall on Cena in a title match as a validation for another match. Lets get to it.
Heres Alberto to open the show. He says that he should be champion but Edge stole it from him. Why did we waste so much time on Rock last week? It should have been a celebration of the arrival of Alberto. He says he should get the title shot so heres Rey to offer a rebuttal. He says Alberto will one day be Ricardos announcer. Is that even an insult? Rey wants a match tonight for the #1 contendership.
Alberto starts to talk but Miz and Riley come out to interrupt. Miz blames Riley for losing the title last week but Alberto says that was his chance. Miz says he got the job done but the referee was prejudiced. He makes a Taco Bell joke which will probably get him criticized for making racial remarks because people are stupid. Truth comes out to no music and talks about ..hospital food?
Ah apparently its due to Morrison having a neck injury and being out for months for neck surgery. Truth gets in all their faces and calls Miz Kermit, Mysterio bottle-nosed and Alberto a pompous Mexican fence jumper. When an angry black man is talking yall need to shut it up. Something about kicking dogs and cats is mentioned but long story short, Truth wants the title shot. E-Mail says were going to have a triple threat match between Miz, Alberto and we get another E-Mail to announce that the third man is Rey Mysterio.
Truth doesnt like it and Mysterio wants Truth in the match which he says means he agrees with the GM. Did I miss something there? Anyway Miz says the next WWE Champion is ..but he cant finish as Ricardo cuts him off and says Ricardo. RICARDO DROPKICKS RILEY!!! Miz hits the floor and Rey dives on Ricardo to end this segment as we take a break.
Bella Twins vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres
I think thats Brie vs. Kelly to start us off. The Bellas double team her for two. Apparently Cena gets to pick the stipulation for the title match at the PPV. Kelly gets a headscissors to take down Nikki and spanks her a bit. Small package by Brie (I think) is reversed into one by Kelly for the pin at 1:25. We get to the point quickly as Kharma comes out. The Bellas try to sneak off and manage to get by. Eve tries to jump Kharma and gets left laying via a slam. Kelly runs off and its an Implant buster for Eve.
Kane vs. Mason Ryan next.
Kane vs. Mason Ryan
Punk and Show are here with their respective people. Ryan shoves him around with ease to start us off. Kane fires away and knocks him into the corner but gets his head taken off with a clothesline. We go WAY old school with an Oklahoma Stampede for two. Punk distracts Kane so Show kills him dead with the punch. McGillicutty and Otunga run in for the DQ at 2:14. Double chokeslam to Ryan and the tall guys stand ..well tall.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Santino Marella
Dolph is all evil and orange here as he beats down Santino quickly. After a quick beatdown Santino gets some offense in but a dropkick takes him down as he loads up the Cobra. Zig Zag ends this in 1:40.
We actually get a Smackdown Rebound for the first time in forever. Its of Christian having his moment as champion and losing the title that night to Orton.
Truth is about to leave and calls conspiracy. Apparently hes been getting letters asking him to sing and dance again. His eyes are bugging out of his head as he says this. Theres a country accent thrown in and theres no more, because thats the Truth. He leaves but comes back to get the interviewer to say Whats Up and then leaves.
Cena fist pumps with Ryder and heads to the ring.
We get a recap of the title match last week and Riley costing Miz the title. Miz yells at Riley all over again. He calls Riley a troglodyte and says hes stupid. Riley says hell make it up to Miz so watch this.
Riley walks down the hall and out into the arena. Did Cena get lost on his way to the ring? Riley says the only person that he cares about is the Miz. He challenges Cena to a match and heres the champ.
John Cena vs. Alex Riley
Very pro-Cena crowd tonight. Cena takes Riley down with ease and then does it again. A charge misses in the corner though and Riley gets a clothesline for two. Chinlock goes on by Riley but Cena starts up his ending sequence. A pair of AAs as Miz comes out sets up the STF to end this at 3:12.
Cole announces his retirement from in ring competition. Lawler comes in and wants a clip of the beatdown from Rock last week. Cole talks about going into the Hall of Fame and Lawler says if Cole can beat Lawler again, hell give Cole his HOF ring and induct Cole into the Hall of Fame. Cole turns it down in a bit of a surprise.
Cole gets in the Cole Mine and makes fun of Tennessee. His mind was made up yesterday about his retirement because it was Mothers Day. Cole flew his mother into Texas and they watched Cole beat him at Mania. Lawler wouldnt be able to spend Mothers Day with his mom because his mom died in February. Lawler storms the Cole Mine but Swagger makes the save as we take a break.
US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston
Technical stuff to start here as Cole imitates breaking news to say that Lawler is in pain. Swagger gets sent to the floor but gets a shot to Kofi, sending him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Swagger sending Kofi into the corner, only to get knocked backwards. Running knee to the gut takes Kofi down again though.
Vader Bomb eats knees but Trouble in Paradise misses. Top rope cross body gets two. Kofi tries to skin the cat (why is it called that anyway?) but Swagger grabs the ankle. Kofi tries a tornado DDT but gets shoved off and the ankle gives out. Lawler comes out and the distraction is enough for Trouble in Paradise to end this at 8:23 total.
Post match Lawler sends Swagger into the post and then the crowd and goes to the Cole Mine but cant get in. Lawler throws a chair into the Mine but settles for reaching into the glory hole to grab the tie. He pulls the tie, ramming Coles head into the wall time after time. Coles face all stuck up against the wall had me dying from laughter. Swagger says Lawler is fired but Lawler says he just touched his tie. Swagger accepts the match for Cole which he isnt happy with.
Video about the premiere of Thats What I Am, which apparently is being well received.
The Miz vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio
Winner gets Cena at Over the Limit. No Riley with Miz. Standard formula here as we have two guys go at it while the third is down. The bad guys fight in the ring and Miz escapes the cross armbreaker. Rey comes back in and gets a sunset flip for two on Del Rio. Miz vs. Mysterio now but Del Rio breaks up the 619. Rey gets sent to the floor by Alberto so Miz tries the Skull Crushing Finale. That misses and a double clothesline puts everyone down as we take a break.
Back with Alberto kicking Miz back to the floor so he can work on Mysterio some more. After more of a beating on Rey, Miz pulls the rope down to send Del Rio to the floor. Sunset flip doesnt hit and Rey hits a kick to the head for two. They all go to the floor with Rey diving on Alberto to take him down. Alberto and Rey go back into the ring and Rey speeds things up again and takes him down with a headscissors.
Miz pops back up and heads up top, only to get crotched. Rollup gets two on Alberto. Sweet top rope rana by Rey to Miz but he gets caught in the Codebreaker to the arm and the Cross Armbreaker. Miz breaks it up and gets rolled up for two. DDT gets two on Alberto. Finale is blocked by Rey and Miz hits the floor again. Riley comes back out to help Miz as Del Rio cant powerbomb Rey. 619 to Alberto sets up the top rope splash but Riley makes the save. Miz runs in with a rollup to get the pin on Rey at 13:45 total.
Results
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Bella Twins Small Package to Brie
Kane b. Mason Ryan via disqualification when Nexus ran in
Dolph Ziggler b. Santino Marella Zig Zag
John Cena b. Alex Riley STF
Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger Trouble in Paradise
The Miz b. Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio Rollup to Mysterio
Tuesday
NXT
Date: May 10, 2011
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal
This is the tenth week and we still have no word on eliminations so Im just going to forget about them now. Theres nothing to note on this show other than the potential of this being the week when Novak fights Regal. This would be the second week when that is supposed to happen so who knows. Anyway lets get to it.
Regal is in gear and apparently its his birthday.
Striker is back as a host here and brings out Maryse. We get a clip of her getting beaten down by Kharma which means we see Kelly in those tiny white shorts which means I smile a bit. Im not sure if its just my video but the video is going in semi-fast forward. Striker talks about the Redemption Points which Titus leads with 13. Naturally this contest is worth six, making the previous few weeks completely pointless.
THERE IS AN ELIMINATION NEXT WEEK!!!! THANK GOODNESS!!! This is called King of the Hill and all you have to do is run up to the stage, grab a flag and come back to the ring and sound off an air horn. Everyone goes at once so this takes like 15 seconds. The fast forward thing makes it even funnier. Titus wins, giving him 19 total points with second being something like 7. Titus gets on the mic and says he doesnt know where Horny is and no one else does. He accuses Young of knowing something about it and says if Young doesnt admit it hell beat it out of him.
Darren Young vs. Titus ONeil
Look at these fresh matches NXT is giving us! Theyre still in fast motion here and the times will be just in seconds as I dont know what else to do. Young tries to leave but Titus pulls him back, shouting WHERE IS HE. Young takes over and works on the arm. Im not sure if the sound is sped up also or not. Chavo criticizes Young, saying he wasnt known in the first season of NXT. Did no one watch the show?
Some forearms get two for Young. Crowd flat out does not care. An electric chair gets Titus out of trouble and gets a gasp from the crowd for some reason. Chavo again denies that he took Horny as a powerslam gets two for Titus. A few seconds later a rollup ends Titus, giving him his first loss at 5:22
Kozlov and OBrian (sans mustache) do some sambo which OBrian isnt that good at.
Conor OBrian vs. Byron Saxton
Theyre still moving in fast motion. I refreshed my browser and all that jazz so Im guessing the production guys want this show to be over even more than I do. OBrian works on the arm for a bit as Regal says Cannon is in the lead in his eyes. Hes making people notice him which makes sense.
The crowd flat out does not care and theres nothing at all going on. Regal points out the lack of fire in the guys too so its probably one of them going home next week. OBrian stays on offense the majority of the time here and puts on a stepover toehold. Saxton fights back with a downward stunner and a bulldog type move before a middle rope elbow to the chin ends this at 4:57.
Saxton goes even more heel by saying Tatsu is too stupid to get that he doesnt want him as his pro anymore.
Cannon gives Maryse a nice purse and she likes him now. Theres your romance triangle this season.
Smackdown Rebound is about Christian and Orton from Friday.
We recap Regal vs. Novak, which is old school vs. new school for the most part.
William Regal vs. Jacob Novak
Novak has a little Grandmaster Sexay going on. Novak represents the 3 Ss: street, skills and style. JTG is heel now apparently and he makes fun of country music to prove it. Regal sends him to the floor with relative ease. Crowd cheers for Regal louder than they have for everything else all night. Elbow in the corner sends Regal to the floor where JTG adds a dropkick.
Novak takes over and a knee lift gets two. We hit the chinlock for awhile as we talk about the elimination a bit. Clothesline puts Regal down again. Striker talks about how good Novak is and I keep wondering what these people are talking about when they say that. Back to the chinlock which doesnt last as long. Regal fights back and takes over with relative ease and the Regal Stretch ends this at 6:20.
Results
Titus ONeil won the King of the Hill Challenge
Darren Young b. Titus ONeil Rollup
Byron Saxton b. Conor OBrian Middle rope elbow
William Regal b. Jacob Novak Regal Stretch
Wednesday
Nothing as usual.
Thursday
Impact
Date: May 12, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Networks Revenge
Tonight is a big night for TNA as we find out the identities of both Kurt Angles mistress and the network executive. It should be remembered that last week Sting said a network representative would be here and not necessarily the network representative, so theres no guarantee this ends tonight. Oh and Sacrifice is Sunday. Im sure well fit that in somewhere if we have time. Lets get to it.
We open with a shot of Hogan with his pipe, waiting for the Network representative. Bischoff comes up and says that he needs to think this through, not beat it out of them. They should play the game but play to win.
We get a video on the Jarretts and Angles mistress. That transitions into Hogan and Bischoff going through a few possible identities of the representative.
Here are the Jarretts to open the show. They want a truce with Kurt and say that Karen could never hurt a fly. Its a crime to have anyone hurt Karen apparently. Karen says shes a good person and has been a good ex-wife. Everything has been for Kurt, including the restraining order against him.
Heres Kurt who says its done. After ten years of marriage you would think shed learn to not push him. Karen is going to wind up taking Jeff for everything hes worth before Jeff figures that out. Theres going to be a mixed tag at Sacrifice between the Jarretts and Angle/the mistress. Jeff knows who the chick is apparently, despite Angle saying two weeks ago that no one knew who she is.
Miss Tessmacher/Mickie James vs. Tara/Madison Rayne
All four girls looking especially hot tonight. Tara and Mickie start us off with Tara acting respectful towards Mickie, namely due to the possibility of getting out of her contract with Madison. Speaking of Madison she comes in being all evil to Mickie with a kick to the head. Tessmacher comes in and quickly gets a victory roll to Madison for the clean pin at 2:11. Can we just look at the girls for about two more hours?
Flair goes into Hogans office and Hogan rants at Flair, saying hes the Network rep. Flair says he was out with a shoulder injury and Hogan apologizes.
A black limo is here.
Tara wants to be free from Madison. Madison comes up and hears the end of the rant and doesnt like it.
Tommy Dreamer doesnt want to talk but says its a personal thing. The interviewer wont shut up and AJ pops up, also demanding answers. Tommy says AJ is too young to understand. AJ says hes a grown man with three kids and thinks its about EV 2.0. Dreamer still wont answer so AJ challenges him for Sacrifice. Dreamer backs off and AJ calls him out on it. Tommy says maybe no one ever knew him. He asks what would Tommy Dreamer do, and Dreamer leaves.
Sting is doing a photo shoot with the title and says his hands are full with RVD. The network person is here apparently.
Heres Beer Money to find out who Matts mystery partner is, implying that its Jeff Hardy. Matt comes out quickly and talks to Roode about calling out Hogan last week. He gets on Roode for being a worthless drunk as I begin to chuckle. Matt runs down Canadians like Roode and says he and his partner will win at Sacrifice.
Beer Money comes out to face Matt and James takes a long drink. He says hes the man that would walk into a bar, punch you in the face and leave with his girl. The partner isnt Jeff, but rather Storms old partner: Chris Harris. WWE fans might remember him as Braden Walker, the guy that was on WWECW for about three weeks. Harris stares Beer Money down as we go to a break.
Sangriento vs. Suicide
Rematch from last week. Suicide jumps him to start but gets taken down with relative ease. Corkscrew plancha to the floor by Sangriento and a dropkick back in the ring take Suicide down. Suicide fights back as the announcers talk about the identity of the mistress. Sangriento gets the same double spin kick that Amazing Red uses in the clip from the New York house show to Jay Lethal.
I guess hes been watching his film (and yes I know who Sangriento is for those that dont get tongue in cheek humor). Tornado DDT by Sangriento gets two. Suicide takes over again for a bit but the springboard cutter from last week returns, giving Sangriento the pin at 3:50.
Immortals leaders in the form of Hogan, Bischoff and Flair come out just after the match ends. Flair kicks Suicide in the balls and sends him to the floor. Hogan rants about the Network representative, saying he or she needs to get out here. The reveal is after the break.
Back and the Jarretts are in the ring also with Jeff in wrestling gear. And the representative is Mick Foley. He talks very quickly, saying that Hogans plans started to unravel March 3rd. Foley piefaces Bischoff and says to Hogan to go ahead and drill him if you want to. This show is no longer about Hogan but about wrestling. This is no longer TNA Wrestling, but is rather Impact Wrestling. The main event is now a 25 man battle royal for the #1 contender spot.
Foley is talking faster than Ive ever heard him talk here. Foley brings out Angles mistress/partner and its Chyna. Yes, that Chyna.
We recap the segment we just saw and apparently the show is now called Impact Wrestling. Not sure if the whole name for the company is changing or not.
Foley says wrestling matters here and is very energetic. Chyna is next to him and he tells her about the main event and wants Chyna to be where Karen is. Not a word from her yet. Foley mentions the vague sexual tension between them for a nice throwback line.
Anderson is ticked off about Foley denying him his title shot but hell get it tonight. I assume the winner gets the shot at the PPV after Sacrifice.
Crimson vs. Abyss vs. Samoa Joe
Crimson and Abyss hammer on each other as Joe chills for a bit. And never mind as Joe hammers on both of them to take over. Big boot and backsplash to Abyss but Crimson takes Joe down and gets a neckbreaker to Abyss. Crimson and Joe hammer away on each other and Crimson grabs a cravate and fires in some knees. Joe gets a powerslam but walks into the Black Hole Slam. Crimson spears Abyss and steals the pin on Joe at 2:34. No rating due to the length but this was fine.
Joe gets ready to jump Crimson but Abyss jumps Crimson before Joe does anything. Joe says cool and leaves Abyss to beat on Crimson. As Joe leaves he says you live by the sword and die by the sword. Black Hole Slam to Crimson and Abyss bottom teeth are still missing from the kick by RVD.
RVD says hell be watching the battle royal for future information.
Battle Royal
25 people in this and more or less everyone you can think of of note in TNA is here. Most of them are in the ring already so Ill try to list them. Everyone in Fourtune, Matt Hardy, Gunner, Jeff Jarrett, Bully Ray, Matt Morgan, British Invasion, Ink Inc, D-Von, Dreamer, Mexican America, Orlando Jordan, Anderson, Steiner, Angle, Eric Young, Robbie E, and I cant figure out the 25th.
Both British guys (Williams and Magnus) are out almost immediately due to Morgan. Add Jordan to that list as well as Anarquia. All four by Morgans hands. Tenay says the show is now Impact Wrestling on Spike TV. No word on if the company is still called TNA or not but Id assume it is. Young is on the floor but I dont think hes been eliminated. Ah the 25th is Pope. That makes me feel better.
No eliminates for awhile now but a lot of the bigger names have come close. Kaz slides back in as Morgan chokes on Shannon Moore. There isnt a ton to say in matches like these in the early going as its really just a lot of standing around. There goes Neal and Shannon back to back thanks to Hernandez. Morgan throws out his fifth guy in the form of Robbie E.
Eric keeps throwing him self over the top and bringing himself back in. Then he throws out the TV Champion and eliminates himself. Eric steals the TV Title and Gunner chases him out so I guess thats Gunners first feud. We take a break with that. Back and no one seems to be gone that I can tell. There appears to be about 15-17 people left. Storm and Angle both save themselves.
Jarrett eliminates Kaz who might have hurt his knee. Storm and Matt put each other out so Storm hammers on Matt a bit. When the referees try to break the argument up Matt pulls Roode out. Foley jumps in on commentary. There goes Daniels and Pope is on the floor but not out, as is D-Von. Morgan sends Hernandez out but Steiner puts out Morgan. Ray surprises Steiner and were down to 8 it appears.
The final 8 are Ray, Anderson, Dreamer, Styles, Jarrett, Angle, D-Von and Pope. Morgan and Steiner fight up the ramp while Ray pounds on Kurts knee. Ray kicks D-Von in the head for old times sake and appears to dance a bit before kicking AJ in the head. Dreamer is told by Ray to put AJ out. Ray throw Angle but Kurt hangs on. Pope fires elbows to D-Vons head as apparently AJ vs. Dreamer is on for Sunday.
Pope goes to the apron and D-Von charges him, naturally getting caught and eliminated. Kurt takes Pope out with a clothesline and were down to six as we take a break. Back and only Ray is standing, just as everything was before the break. Literally everyone is in the same place. The final six are Jarrett, AJ, Ray, Angle, Anderson and Dreamer. AJ goes off on Jarrett and Ray but Dreamer takes him down. Ankle lock to Angle and Dreamer breaks that up also. Dreamer manages to put AJ out of all things. Ray puts Dreamer out for his troubles. AJ drills Dreamer on the floor.
Anderson gets Ray to the apron but cant get rid of him. Angle cant get Jarrett out and Ray makes the save. Neckbreaker by Anderson takes Ray down and the two of them go to the floor through the ropes. Angle vs. Jarrett alone with Angle taking over. Karen saves Jeff from elimination but Kurt takes his head off with a clothesline. Kurt goes after her and Jeff tosses him.
She gets in the ring as Jeff thinks hes won but Anderson and Ray are still in it due to going through the ropes. Chyna comes in and tosses Jeff. Ray and Anderson both come back in and slug it out with Ray winning said battle. Big clothesline takes Anderson down but Anderson fights back. He can't hit a Swanton as it eats knees. They go to the apron but Anderson hangs on. Ray goes for him, only to get slowly pulled out for the Anderson win at 28:10 total.
Anderson talks post match, comparing himself to the Navy SEALS that took out bin Laden. Bit of a stretch there but ok.
Sting says bring on Anderson. RVD pops up and says not so fast as he'll be facing Anderson. Anderson pops up and says it can be either of them at Slammiversary.
Results
Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher b. Tara/Madison Rayne Tessmacher pinned Rayne with a victory roll
Sangriento b. Suicide Jumping Reverse Cutter
Crimson b. Samoa Joe and Abyss Crimson pinned Joe after a Black Hole Slam
Mr. Anderson won a battle royal, last eliminating Bully Ray
John Morrison will be out for months due to having neck surgery. No word on how long itll be. Update: the surgery was only minor and he should be out about 4-6 weeks. Thats far less than expected Id assume.
Helms is being investigated for DUI in his motorcycle crash. My levels of concern have dropped a bit.
Smackdown got a 1.73, its lowest in weeks.
Chris Sabin has to have knee surgery.
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 9, 2011
Location: Thompson-Boling Arena, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
Were two weeks away from Over the Limit and unless Im overlooking it there arent any matches officially made. After the previous weeks birthday party for Rock we can finally get back to the regular stuff on Monday nights. Id bet on more with Miz and Cena as Miz can say he got a pinfall on Cena in a title match as a validation for another match. Lets get to it.
Heres Alberto to open the show. He says that he should be champion but Edge stole it from him. Why did we waste so much time on Rock last week? It should have been a celebration of the arrival of Alberto. He says he should get the title shot so heres Rey to offer a rebuttal. He says Alberto will one day be Ricardos announcer. Is that even an insult? Rey wants a match tonight for the #1 contendership.
Alberto starts to talk but Miz and Riley come out to interrupt. Miz blames Riley for losing the title last week but Alberto says that was his chance. Miz says he got the job done but the referee was prejudiced. He makes a Taco Bell joke which will probably get him criticized for making racial remarks because people are stupid. Truth comes out to no music and talks about ..hospital food?
Ah apparently its due to Morrison having a neck injury and being out for months for neck surgery. Truth gets in all their faces and calls Miz Kermit, Mysterio bottle-nosed and Alberto a pompous Mexican fence jumper. When an angry black man is talking yall need to shut it up. Something about kicking dogs and cats is mentioned but long story short, Truth wants the title shot. E-Mail says were going to have a triple threat match between Miz, Alberto and we get another E-Mail to announce that the third man is Rey Mysterio.
Truth doesnt like it and Mysterio wants Truth in the match which he says means he agrees with the GM. Did I miss something there? Anyway Miz says the next WWE Champion is ..but he cant finish as Ricardo cuts him off and says Ricardo. RICARDO DROPKICKS RILEY!!! Miz hits the floor and Rey dives on Ricardo to end this segment as we take a break.
Bella Twins vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres
I think thats Brie vs. Kelly to start us off. The Bellas double team her for two. Apparently Cena gets to pick the stipulation for the title match at the PPV. Kelly gets a headscissors to take down Nikki and spanks her a bit. Small package by Brie (I think) is reversed into one by Kelly for the pin at 1:25. We get to the point quickly as Kharma comes out. The Bellas try to sneak off and manage to get by. Eve tries to jump Kharma and gets left laying via a slam. Kelly runs off and its an Implant buster for Eve.
Kane vs. Mason Ryan next.
Kane vs. Mason Ryan
Punk and Show are here with their respective people. Ryan shoves him around with ease to start us off. Kane fires away and knocks him into the corner but gets his head taken off with a clothesline. We go WAY old school with an Oklahoma Stampede for two. Punk distracts Kane so Show kills him dead with the punch. McGillicutty and Otunga run in for the DQ at 2:14. Double chokeslam to Ryan and the tall guys stand ..well tall.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Santino Marella
Dolph is all evil and orange here as he beats down Santino quickly. After a quick beatdown Santino gets some offense in but a dropkick takes him down as he loads up the Cobra. Zig Zag ends this in 1:40.
We actually get a Smackdown Rebound for the first time in forever. Its of Christian having his moment as champion and losing the title that night to Orton.
Truth is about to leave and calls conspiracy. Apparently hes been getting letters asking him to sing and dance again. His eyes are bugging out of his head as he says this. Theres a country accent thrown in and theres no more, because thats the Truth. He leaves but comes back to get the interviewer to say Whats Up and then leaves.
Cena fist pumps with Ryder and heads to the ring.
We get a recap of the title match last week and Riley costing Miz the title. Miz yells at Riley all over again. He calls Riley a troglodyte and says hes stupid. Riley says hell make it up to Miz so watch this.
Riley walks down the hall and out into the arena. Did Cena get lost on his way to the ring? Riley says the only person that he cares about is the Miz. He challenges Cena to a match and heres the champ.
John Cena vs. Alex Riley
Very pro-Cena crowd tonight. Cena takes Riley down with ease and then does it again. A charge misses in the corner though and Riley gets a clothesline for two. Chinlock goes on by Riley but Cena starts up his ending sequence. A pair of AAs as Miz comes out sets up the STF to end this at 3:12.
Cole announces his retirement from in ring competition. Lawler comes in and wants a clip of the beatdown from Rock last week. Cole talks about going into the Hall of Fame and Lawler says if Cole can beat Lawler again, hell give Cole his HOF ring and induct Cole into the Hall of Fame. Cole turns it down in a bit of a surprise.
Cole gets in the Cole Mine and makes fun of Tennessee. His mind was made up yesterday about his retirement because it was Mothers Day. Cole flew his mother into Texas and they watched Cole beat him at Mania. Lawler wouldnt be able to spend Mothers Day with his mom because his mom died in February. Lawler storms the Cole Mine but Swagger makes the save as we take a break.
US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston
Technical stuff to start here as Cole imitates breaking news to say that Lawler is in pain. Swagger gets sent to the floor but gets a shot to Kofi, sending him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Swagger sending Kofi into the corner, only to get knocked backwards. Running knee to the gut takes Kofi down again though.
Vader Bomb eats knees but Trouble in Paradise misses. Top rope cross body gets two. Kofi tries to skin the cat (why is it called that anyway?) but Swagger grabs the ankle. Kofi tries a tornado DDT but gets shoved off and the ankle gives out. Lawler comes out and the distraction is enough for Trouble in Paradise to end this at 8:23 total.
Post match Lawler sends Swagger into the post and then the crowd and goes to the Cole Mine but cant get in. Lawler throws a chair into the Mine but settles for reaching into the glory hole to grab the tie. He pulls the tie, ramming Coles head into the wall time after time. Coles face all stuck up against the wall had me dying from laughter. Swagger says Lawler is fired but Lawler says he just touched his tie. Swagger accepts the match for Cole which he isnt happy with.
Video about the premiere of Thats What I Am, which apparently is being well received.
The Miz vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio
Winner gets Cena at Over the Limit. No Riley with Miz. Standard formula here as we have two guys go at it while the third is down. The bad guys fight in the ring and Miz escapes the cross armbreaker. Rey comes back in and gets a sunset flip for two on Del Rio. Miz vs. Mysterio now but Del Rio breaks up the 619. Rey gets sent to the floor by Alberto so Miz tries the Skull Crushing Finale. That misses and a double clothesline puts everyone down as we take a break.
Back with Alberto kicking Miz back to the floor so he can work on Mysterio some more. After more of a beating on Rey, Miz pulls the rope down to send Del Rio to the floor. Sunset flip doesnt hit and Rey hits a kick to the head for two. They all go to the floor with Rey diving on Alberto to take him down. Alberto and Rey go back into the ring and Rey speeds things up again and takes him down with a headscissors.
Miz pops back up and heads up top, only to get crotched. Rollup gets two on Alberto. Sweet top rope rana by Rey to Miz but he gets caught in the Codebreaker to the arm and the Cross Armbreaker. Miz breaks it up and gets rolled up for two. DDT gets two on Alberto. Finale is blocked by Rey and Miz hits the floor again. Riley comes back out to help Miz as Del Rio cant powerbomb Rey. 619 to Alberto sets up the top rope splash but Riley makes the save. Miz runs in with a rollup to get the pin on Rey at 13:45 total.
Results
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Bella Twins Small Package to Brie
Kane b. Mason Ryan via disqualification when Nexus ran in
Dolph Ziggler b. Santino Marella Zig Zag
John Cena b. Alex Riley STF
Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger Trouble in Paradise
The Miz b. Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio Rollup to Mysterio
Tuesday
NXT
Date: May 10, 2011
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal
This is the tenth week and we still have no word on eliminations so Im just going to forget about them now. Theres nothing to note on this show other than the potential of this being the week when Novak fights Regal. This would be the second week when that is supposed to happen so who knows. Anyway lets get to it.
Regal is in gear and apparently its his birthday.
Striker is back as a host here and brings out Maryse. We get a clip of her getting beaten down by Kharma which means we see Kelly in those tiny white shorts which means I smile a bit. Im not sure if its just my video but the video is going in semi-fast forward. Striker talks about the Redemption Points which Titus leads with 13. Naturally this contest is worth six, making the previous few weeks completely pointless.
THERE IS AN ELIMINATION NEXT WEEK!!!! THANK GOODNESS!!! This is called King of the Hill and all you have to do is run up to the stage, grab a flag and come back to the ring and sound off an air horn. Everyone goes at once so this takes like 15 seconds. The fast forward thing makes it even funnier. Titus wins, giving him 19 total points with second being something like 7. Titus gets on the mic and says he doesnt know where Horny is and no one else does. He accuses Young of knowing something about it and says if Young doesnt admit it hell beat it out of him.
Darren Young vs. Titus ONeil
Look at these fresh matches NXT is giving us! Theyre still in fast motion here and the times will be just in seconds as I dont know what else to do. Young tries to leave but Titus pulls him back, shouting WHERE IS HE. Young takes over and works on the arm. Im not sure if the sound is sped up also or not. Chavo criticizes Young, saying he wasnt known in the first season of NXT. Did no one watch the show?
Some forearms get two for Young. Crowd flat out does not care. An electric chair gets Titus out of trouble and gets a gasp from the crowd for some reason. Chavo again denies that he took Horny as a powerslam gets two for Titus. A few seconds later a rollup ends Titus, giving him his first loss at 5:22
Kozlov and OBrian (sans mustache) do some sambo which OBrian isnt that good at.
Conor OBrian vs. Byron Saxton
Theyre still moving in fast motion. I refreshed my browser and all that jazz so Im guessing the production guys want this show to be over even more than I do. OBrian works on the arm for a bit as Regal says Cannon is in the lead in his eyes. Hes making people notice him which makes sense.
The crowd flat out does not care and theres nothing at all going on. Regal points out the lack of fire in the guys too so its probably one of them going home next week. OBrian stays on offense the majority of the time here and puts on a stepover toehold. Saxton fights back with a downward stunner and a bulldog type move before a middle rope elbow to the chin ends this at 4:57.
Saxton goes even more heel by saying Tatsu is too stupid to get that he doesnt want him as his pro anymore.
Cannon gives Maryse a nice purse and she likes him now. Theres your romance triangle this season.
Smackdown Rebound is about Christian and Orton from Friday.
We recap Regal vs. Novak, which is old school vs. new school for the most part.
William Regal vs. Jacob Novak
Novak has a little Grandmaster Sexay going on. Novak represents the 3 Ss: street, skills and style. JTG is heel now apparently and he makes fun of country music to prove it. Regal sends him to the floor with relative ease. Crowd cheers for Regal louder than they have for everything else all night. Elbow in the corner sends Regal to the floor where JTG adds a dropkick.
Novak takes over and a knee lift gets two. We hit the chinlock for awhile as we talk about the elimination a bit. Clothesline puts Regal down again. Striker talks about how good Novak is and I keep wondering what these people are talking about when they say that. Back to the chinlock which doesnt last as long. Regal fights back and takes over with relative ease and the Regal Stretch ends this at 6:20.
Results
Titus ONeil won the King of the Hill Challenge
Darren Young b. Titus ONeil Rollup
Byron Saxton b. Conor OBrian Middle rope elbow
William Regal b. Jacob Novak Regal Stretch
Wednesday
Nothing as usual.
Thursday
Impact
Date: May 12, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Networks Revenge
Tonight is a big night for TNA as we find out the identities of both Kurt Angles mistress and the network executive. It should be remembered that last week Sting said a network representative would be here and not necessarily the network representative, so theres no guarantee this ends tonight. Oh and Sacrifice is Sunday. Im sure well fit that in somewhere if we have time. Lets get to it.
We open with a shot of Hogan with his pipe, waiting for the Network representative. Bischoff comes up and says that he needs to think this through, not beat it out of them. They should play the game but play to win.
We get a video on the Jarretts and Angles mistress. That transitions into Hogan and Bischoff going through a few possible identities of the representative.
Here are the Jarretts to open the show. They want a truce with Kurt and say that Karen could never hurt a fly. Its a crime to have anyone hurt Karen apparently. Karen says shes a good person and has been a good ex-wife. Everything has been for Kurt, including the restraining order against him.
Heres Kurt who says its done. After ten years of marriage you would think shed learn to not push him. Karen is going to wind up taking Jeff for everything hes worth before Jeff figures that out. Theres going to be a mixed tag at Sacrifice between the Jarretts and Angle/the mistress. Jeff knows who the chick is apparently, despite Angle saying two weeks ago that no one knew who she is.
Miss Tessmacher/Mickie James vs. Tara/Madison Rayne
All four girls looking especially hot tonight. Tara and Mickie start us off with Tara acting respectful towards Mickie, namely due to the possibility of getting out of her contract with Madison. Speaking of Madison she comes in being all evil to Mickie with a kick to the head. Tessmacher comes in and quickly gets a victory roll to Madison for the clean pin at 2:11. Can we just look at the girls for about two more hours?
Flair goes into Hogans office and Hogan rants at Flair, saying hes the Network rep. Flair says he was out with a shoulder injury and Hogan apologizes.
A black limo is here.
Tara wants to be free from Madison. Madison comes up and hears the end of the rant and doesnt like it.
Tommy Dreamer doesnt want to talk but says its a personal thing. The interviewer wont shut up and AJ pops up, also demanding answers. Tommy says AJ is too young to understand. AJ says hes a grown man with three kids and thinks its about EV 2.0. Dreamer still wont answer so AJ challenges him for Sacrifice. Dreamer backs off and AJ calls him out on it. Tommy says maybe no one ever knew him. He asks what would Tommy Dreamer do, and Dreamer leaves.
Sting is doing a photo shoot with the title and says his hands are full with RVD. The network person is here apparently.
Heres Beer Money to find out who Matts mystery partner is, implying that its Jeff Hardy. Matt comes out quickly and talks to Roode about calling out Hogan last week. He gets on Roode for being a worthless drunk as I begin to chuckle. Matt runs down Canadians like Roode and says he and his partner will win at Sacrifice.
Beer Money comes out to face Matt and James takes a long drink. He says hes the man that would walk into a bar, punch you in the face and leave with his girl. The partner isnt Jeff, but rather Storms old partner: Chris Harris. WWE fans might remember him as Braden Walker, the guy that was on WWECW for about three weeks. Harris stares Beer Money down as we go to a break.
Sangriento vs. Suicide
Rematch from last week. Suicide jumps him to start but gets taken down with relative ease. Corkscrew plancha to the floor by Sangriento and a dropkick back in the ring take Suicide down. Suicide fights back as the announcers talk about the identity of the mistress. Sangriento gets the same double spin kick that Amazing Red uses in the clip from the New York house show to Jay Lethal.
I guess hes been watching his film (and yes I know who Sangriento is for those that dont get tongue in cheek humor). Tornado DDT by Sangriento gets two. Suicide takes over again for a bit but the springboard cutter from last week returns, giving Sangriento the pin at 3:50.
Immortals leaders in the form of Hogan, Bischoff and Flair come out just after the match ends. Flair kicks Suicide in the balls and sends him to the floor. Hogan rants about the Network representative, saying he or she needs to get out here. The reveal is after the break.
Back and the Jarretts are in the ring also with Jeff in wrestling gear. And the representative is Mick Foley. He talks very quickly, saying that Hogans plans started to unravel March 3rd. Foley piefaces Bischoff and says to Hogan to go ahead and drill him if you want to. This show is no longer about Hogan but about wrestling. This is no longer TNA Wrestling, but is rather Impact Wrestling. The main event is now a 25 man battle royal for the #1 contender spot.
Foley is talking faster than Ive ever heard him talk here. Foley brings out Angles mistress/partner and its Chyna. Yes, that Chyna.
We recap the segment we just saw and apparently the show is now called Impact Wrestling. Not sure if the whole name for the company is changing or not.
Foley says wrestling matters here and is very energetic. Chyna is next to him and he tells her about the main event and wants Chyna to be where Karen is. Not a word from her yet. Foley mentions the vague sexual tension between them for a nice throwback line.
Anderson is ticked off about Foley denying him his title shot but hell get it tonight. I assume the winner gets the shot at the PPV after Sacrifice.
Crimson vs. Abyss vs. Samoa Joe
Crimson and Abyss hammer on each other as Joe chills for a bit. And never mind as Joe hammers on both of them to take over. Big boot and backsplash to Abyss but Crimson takes Joe down and gets a neckbreaker to Abyss. Crimson and Joe hammer away on each other and Crimson grabs a cravate and fires in some knees. Joe gets a powerslam but walks into the Black Hole Slam. Crimson spears Abyss and steals the pin on Joe at 2:34. No rating due to the length but this was fine.
Joe gets ready to jump Crimson but Abyss jumps Crimson before Joe does anything. Joe says cool and leaves Abyss to beat on Crimson. As Joe leaves he says you live by the sword and die by the sword. Black Hole Slam to Crimson and Abyss bottom teeth are still missing from the kick by RVD.
RVD says hell be watching the battle royal for future information.
Battle Royal
25 people in this and more or less everyone you can think of of note in TNA is here. Most of them are in the ring already so Ill try to list them. Everyone in Fourtune, Matt Hardy, Gunner, Jeff Jarrett, Bully Ray, Matt Morgan, British Invasion, Ink Inc, D-Von, Dreamer, Mexican America, Orlando Jordan, Anderson, Steiner, Angle, Eric Young, Robbie E, and I cant figure out the 25th.
Both British guys (Williams and Magnus) are out almost immediately due to Morgan. Add Jordan to that list as well as Anarquia. All four by Morgans hands. Tenay says the show is now Impact Wrestling on Spike TV. No word on if the company is still called TNA or not but Id assume it is. Young is on the floor but I dont think hes been eliminated. Ah the 25th is Pope. That makes me feel better.
No eliminates for awhile now but a lot of the bigger names have come close. Kaz slides back in as Morgan chokes on Shannon Moore. There isnt a ton to say in matches like these in the early going as its really just a lot of standing around. There goes Neal and Shannon back to back thanks to Hernandez. Morgan throws out his fifth guy in the form of Robbie E.
Eric keeps throwing him self over the top and bringing himself back in. Then he throws out the TV Champion and eliminates himself. Eric steals the TV Title and Gunner chases him out so I guess thats Gunners first feud. We take a break with that. Back and no one seems to be gone that I can tell. There appears to be about 15-17 people left. Storm and Angle both save themselves.
Jarrett eliminates Kaz who might have hurt his knee. Storm and Matt put each other out so Storm hammers on Matt a bit. When the referees try to break the argument up Matt pulls Roode out. Foley jumps in on commentary. There goes Daniels and Pope is on the floor but not out, as is D-Von. Morgan sends Hernandez out but Steiner puts out Morgan. Ray surprises Steiner and were down to 8 it appears.
The final 8 are Ray, Anderson, Dreamer, Styles, Jarrett, Angle, D-Von and Pope. Morgan and Steiner fight up the ramp while Ray pounds on Kurts knee. Ray kicks D-Von in the head for old times sake and appears to dance a bit before kicking AJ in the head. Dreamer is told by Ray to put AJ out. Ray throw Angle but Kurt hangs on. Pope fires elbows to D-Vons head as apparently AJ vs. Dreamer is on for Sunday.
Pope goes to the apron and D-Von charges him, naturally getting caught and eliminated. Kurt takes Pope out with a clothesline and were down to six as we take a break. Back and only Ray is standing, just as everything was before the break. Literally everyone is in the same place. The final six are Jarrett, AJ, Ray, Angle, Anderson and Dreamer. AJ goes off on Jarrett and Ray but Dreamer takes him down. Ankle lock to Angle and Dreamer breaks that up also. Dreamer manages to put AJ out of all things. Ray puts Dreamer out for his troubles. AJ drills Dreamer on the floor.
Anderson gets Ray to the apron but cant get rid of him. Angle cant get Jarrett out and Ray makes the save. Neckbreaker by Anderson takes Ray down and the two of them go to the floor through the ropes. Angle vs. Jarrett alone with Angle taking over. Karen saves Jeff from elimination but Kurt takes his head off with a clothesline. Kurt goes after her and Jeff tosses him.
She gets in the ring as Jeff thinks hes won but Anderson and Ray are still in it due to going through the ropes. Chyna comes in and tosses Jeff. Ray and Anderson both come back in and slug it out with Ray winning said battle. Big clothesline takes Anderson down but Anderson fights back. He can't hit a Swanton as it eats knees. They go to the apron but Anderson hangs on. Ray goes for him, only to get slowly pulled out for the Anderson win at 28:10 total.
Anderson talks post match, comparing himself to the Navy SEALS that took out bin Laden. Bit of a stretch there but ok.
Sting says bring on Anderson. RVD pops up and says not so fast as he'll be facing Anderson. Anderson pops up and says it can be either of them at Slammiversary.
Results
Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher b. Tara/Madison Rayne Tessmacher pinned Rayne with a victory roll
Sangriento b. Suicide Jumping Reverse Cutter
Crimson b. Samoa Joe and Abyss Crimson pinned Joe after a Black Hole Slam
Mr. Anderson won a battle royal, last eliminating Bully Ray