klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 28, 2012
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
It's Memorial Day which means that not a lot of people are going to watch here. Hopefully that doesn't mean they put on a horrible show which they've been known to do at times. The main story is still Cena/Ace with the occasional mention of Lesnar vs. HHH, because who would want to see Brock Lesnar when we can have a dynamic skateboarder? Let's get to it.
The opening video is about Memorial Day and the military as you would expect.
The regular opening is about Cena/Ace/Show from the PPV and last week.
Here's Show to open things up. He says that while he's a giant, he's a businessman first. What he did, he did it for the sake of business. The bonus he got has set him for life, meaning that he doesn't have to please the fans anymore and he can beat people up as he pleases. No one can match him, be it an NFL player, a UFC fighter, or a WWE superstar.
Two weeks ago he was made to beg, but immediately after it, this happened. We see a clip of Brodus, Kofi and Truth dancing with kids from immediately after. Where was his sympathy? Then at the end of the night, Cena made jokes while talking with Ace, so maybe that's all Show is: a big joke. At No Way Out, Cena will get a real beating and have the real embarrassment that Rock and Lesnar tried to give him. And that's it. No Cena or anything, just ten minutes of Show talking.
Punk vs. Bryan tonight? Cool.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Santino Marella
This is I guess fallout from Santino vs. Ricardo. Alberto beats him down very quickly but gets caught by the hiptoss and headbutt, but the Cobra is broken up and the US Champion taps to the cross armbreaker at 45 seconds.
Alex Riley sucks up to Eve when Big Show pops up. Show gets to pick his opponent tonight and looks at Riley, who begs off. Show says it's ok and that Riley won't be his opponent. There's a message he has for the locker room though, and he rams Riley into the wall. Ok then.
Tag Titles: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler
Truth and Swagger get things going and it's off to Truth quickly. We get some hip thrusting and Swagger charges over the top. Kofi and Truth kick Ziggler in the head and send him to the floor. Stereo baseball slides take us to a break. Back with Swagger holding onto Kofi. During the break Kofi was knocked to the barricade, which Lawler says meant we almost had new champions.
Dolph comes in and drops an elbow for two before working on the arm. A Stinger Splash misses and it's off to Truth. A rollup and DDT both get two on Swagger as the fans are into this for some reason. Truth launches Kofi onto Dolph and they head to the floor. Little Jimmy to Swagger retains the titles at 7:11.
Post match Dolph yells at Swagger that he's better and walks out on his own. Thank goodness.
Santino is getting help in the back when Show comes up. He puts his hand over Santino's face and yells when Brodus comes up. Brodus wants to be the opponent and Show says it's on.
Here's Ace and his administration. He says that tonight it's Show vs. Brodus and at No Way Out, Show vs. Cena is in a cage. There's something covered up behind him under a sheet. Ace talks about WWE '13 (video game) and unveils the cover which has him on it of course. “It's going to be bigger than Pac-Man!” Cue Punk who says exactly what you would expect him to say. He says that someone a lot more handsome will be on the cover.
Fireworks go off and a banner with Punk on the cover comes down. Punk: “Mine is a lot bigger than yours.” He talks about how great it is to have a wrestler on the cover of a wrestling game, and knows that he's got Bryan tonight so there's no point in making some “never before seen” match. The administration leaves and Punk breaks the Ace poster.
Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk
This is non-title. We get a video about the Kane aspect of this feud so you know what's coming at the end. Punk controls the arm to start and Bryan does the same a bit later. Bryan misses a knee drop and Punk drops some knees of his own for two. Off to a bodyscissors which is broken pretty quickly. Backslide gets two for both and Bryan goes up, hitting a top rope knee to send Punk to the floor. Baseball slide misses and Punk hits a dive to take Bryan out. Cue AJ in a Punk shirt as we take a break.
During the break Bryan hit another knee to the head, this time from the apron. It doesn't seem to matter as Punk is in control. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner and Punk misses his spinning cross body, crashing to the mat. Bryan hits a dropkick to the side of the head and another in the corner for two. Punk fires off kicks from the mat but gets caught in a northern lights suplex for two. Punk comes back with some strikes and the spinning neckbreaker for two. Knee/bulldog in the corner of course doesn't work but Bryan's high kick does as well, getting Punk two off a rollup.
Springboard clothesline gets two for Punk and both guys are down. The Macho Elbow drop is broken up and Bryan superplexes him off the top. That only gets two and the fans are getting back into it. I'm not sure why they got out of it in the first place. Bryan takes the buckle pad off and AJ protests, but that just lets Bryan do more. Punk hits the High Kick for two. He charges at Bryan and gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle for the pin at 15:10.
Kane beats up Bryan with a chair post match and chokeslams him onto said chair. AJ slides one in to Punk before Kane can hit Punk with it and Punk beats Kane to the floor.
Christian vs. The Miz
Before the match we hear about Jericho not being here because of the Brazil incident. Cody is on commentary. Christian tries a sunset flip out of the corner but Miz rolls through and hits a boot to the face of the champ. Corner clothesline hits as does the top rope axhandle for two. Off to a chinlock and then a camel clutch. Christian fights back and loads up a spear but charges into a boot to the face. Cody gets off commentary and distracts Christian for two. The Finale and Killswitch are countered but Miz misses a charge and it's Killsiwtch and Frog Splash for the pin at 4:14.
Ace sends Teddy away and yells at Otunga and Eve. Otunga volunteers to face Sheamus tonight as penance. Teddy comes back with Eve's coffer and she spits it on him because it's cold. Everyone but Teddy leaves. Teddy: “It's supposed to be cold. IT'S ICED COFFEE.”
After a break, Miz is in the ring. He wants the match stricken from the record because it wasn't for the title. He got the pin for Ace at Wrestlemania but can't get a title match or a guarnateed contract. Orton comes out, RKOs Miz, and that's that. I guess Miz is replacing Jericho.
Ziggler is watching in the back and says he wants out of the tag team. He wants to be on his own so Vickie says she'll see what she can do.
We get a video with comments from Cena about Memorial Day. Just put a big VOTE FOR MCMAHON graphic up already.
Kane vs. Punk for the title on Friday.
Sheamus vs. David Otunga
Otunga uses the strength that he has to pound Sheamus into the corner but the champ takes his head off with a double ax. There are the ten forearms, White Noise, Brogue Kick, 2:45.
We get the same recap that opened the show but a slightly shorter version.
Brodus Clay vs. Big Show
It's 11pm so it's time for Show to talk. He says that he thought he was a sellout when he put on a diaper against Akebono at Wrestlemania. That's nothing compared to Brodus though, who embarrasses himself nightly. Brodus comes up the aisle and gets speared down. Show destroys him as well as the tag champions when they run out.
He breaks the announce table and hits Brodus in the back with it before beating up the champions a bit more. Trouble in Paradise is caught in a choke until Kofi is thrown through the barricade. The beating goes on for awhile and Brodus gets punched. No match of course and Show and Ace pose on the stage to end the show. Cena is back next week.
Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Santino Marella – Cross Armbreaker
R-Truth/Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Little Jimmy to Swagger
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk – Hot Shot onto an exposed turnbuckle
Christian b. The Miz – Frog Splash
Sheamus b. David Otunga – Brogue Kick
Tuesday
Smackdown got a 1.8, up from last week.
Wednesday
Randy Orton has been suspended for 60 days, putting him out of the 1000th Raw. This is his second suspension.
Raw got a 2.7.
NXT
Date: May 30, 2012
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal
Back to what has officially become the most boring show this side of Warriors of Wrestling. We're hopefully wrapping this season up but getting there is really dragging, as there were zero stories last week as well as no promos at all. That's a shame as the show was starting to get good up until that point. Let's get to it.
To give you an idea of how much WWE.com cares about this show, their website says it's up every Wednesday at 4pm EST. It's currently 8:05pm EST and I have to watch this on Youtube because neither today's show, nor last week's show are currently on WWE.com's NXT page.
Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks vs. Usos
It's 8:19 and the show can now be found on WWE.com, if you look in the What's Hot section instead of the NXT section. If I'm a TV company, I'd be curious as to why I should put a show on that they don't even bother to put up on time. Anyway Jey and Reks get us going. Not much going on so far so Jey shouts to the crowd a little bit. Hawkins comes in and nothing goes anywhere now either. A quick chin/headlock by Jey goes nowhere so we head to the mat.
Off to Jimmy who armdrags Hawkins down and it's back to Jey. A headbutt to the chest gets one and the Usos tag again. Regal explains what cutting the ring in half means, because a term like that needs an explanation apparently. Jey escapes a slam and hits a great superkick to put Hawkins down. Reks pulls Curt to the floor to avoid the Superfly Splash so the Usos dive onto both heels as we take a break.
Back with Jey holding a hammerlock on Hawkins on the mat. Jey loads up a superkick but Hawkins drops to the floor and suckers Jey in. Blind tag brings in Reks and the Usos lose control for the first time. Hawkins comes in with a kick to the back and a chinlock. Back to Reks who puts on something like a Tazmission.
Jey escapes and it's off to Jimmy on a not very hot tag. A Bubba Bomb puts Reks down and the Umaga hip smash gets two. Hawkins interferes, allowing Reks to hit a Downward Spiral for two. Jey comes in with a Samoan Drop for two. Jimmy is sent to the floor and Reks/Hawkins hit a powerslam/neckbreaker combo to pin Jey at 10:59.
Tamina Snuka vs. Kaitlyn
Maxine is on commentary, which is literally the first continued story in two weeks. She's fought them both before and this is due to last week's Kaitlyn vs. Maxine match apparently. Kaitlyn takes her to the mat and hooks a bodyscissors and a rollup for two. Tamina takes her down as well and puts on a seated abdominal stretch. Maxine makes fun of Kaitlyn's hair and Tamina changes to a chinlock. The crowd is surprisingly not completely dead here. Kaitlyn fights out and hits a bad cross body for two. Kaitlyn trips her up as they run the ropes and hooks a full nelson with her legs to make Tamina tap (with her foot) at 5:21.
Raw ReBound is about Big Show, which is all that Monday's show was about anyway.
Justin Gabriel/Derrick Bateman/Percy Watson vs. Michael McGillicutty/Johnny Curtis/JTG
Hey Justin is back. JTG still has the new attire and I still don't want to see him ever again. Watson and JTG get us going Watson works on the arm but JTG speeds things up a bit. That's cool with Watson as he runs over JTG and slams him down for two. Off to Justin who hooks an armdrag into an armbar. JTG gets him into the corner and it's off to Curtis who takes over.
Gabriel channels his inner Steamboat and armdrags his way to freedom, taking Curtis to the mat. Off to Bateman who dropkicks Johnny down for two. He misses a charge though and McGillicutty stomps Bateman down in the corner. Everything breaks down and the faces stand tall as we take a break. Back with Michael putting Bateman in a chinlock and punching him in the face a few times.
Dropkick gets two on Bateman. Back to Curtis who has #letsgetweird on his trunks. If you really want to push Twitter that hard, you would think they could find a better billboard than Curtis. McGillicutty and Curtis tag two more times as I guess they won't like JTG either. Curtis gives up the tag and it's off to Watson. Watson cleans house but JTG low bridges him to send Percy crashing to the floor.
JTG pounds on Percy both in and out of the ring, getting two in the former. Off to the chinlock again and then back to Curtis. Elbow to the face gets two. Watson hits a belly to belly out of nowhere and makes the tag to Justin. JTG comes in at the same time and things speed up. Gabriel hits a blue Thunder Bomb for two and everything breaks down. Bateman dives on McGillicutty and Curtis while Gabriel hits a jumping tornado DDT for the pin at 12:13.
Results
Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks b. The Usos – Powerslam/Neckbreaker combination to Jey Uso
Kaitlyn b. Tamina Snuka – Full Nelson with Legs
Justin Gabriel/Derrick Bateman/Percy Watson b. JTG/Johnny Curtis/Michael McGillicutty – Tornado DDT to JTG
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: May 31, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
This is a big night tonight as not only are we moving up to 8pm, but it's also a live show. We're opening with Roode vs. Sting because this is all about hot new acts like Sting. Other than that I don't think there's anything scheduled other than the Gut Check Challenge and the debut of Brooke Hogan. Oh joy. Let's get to it.
We open with the lumberjacks at ringside and the champ is on first, along with Who.
Sting vs. Bobby Roode
This is non-title. Sting takes him down almost immediately and Roode is staggered. The champ pokes him in the eye but since this is Sting, it has no effect. Roode gets sent to the corner and kicked to the floor as the fans are into this for the most part. Sting kicks him back to the floor and again he gets thrown back in. The Splash misses and Sting is knocked to the floor where the heels get in some weak shots.
Back in and Sting comes back with a backdrop so Roode rolls back to the floor. Roode suckers him to the floor where the heels get in a better beatdown and the melee is about to begin. It doesn't quite start yet as Roode is in control, taking Sting to the mat and dropping a knee for two. Another Stinger Splash is countered by a boot to the face. Roode sends him to the floor and Sting beats up some lumberjacks as we take a break.
Back with Roode in control and sending Sting to the floor again. Roode chops in the corner which fires Sting up as it has for 24 years. Stinger Splash hits and Roode bails to the floor. It looks to be a big brawl but Sting dives over the top and takes out most of the champ's supporters. Back in the ring the Scorpion is countered into the Crossface but Sting is too close to the ropes. Fisherman's Suplex is countered into the Death Drop and the Deathlock in the middle of the ring. Roode taps and Sting wins at 13:40. Apparently this was non-title like I thought.
Hogan comes out post match and makes Sting vs. Roode for the title at Slammiversary.
Madison is straightening her sash in the back because she wants to look good for the guy that likes her. Oh and Brooke is going to be here later.
Here's Bully Ray in the ring and he wants Joseph Park, who is in the crowd with a soda (label torn off) and popcorn. We get a clip from last week and Ray wants to fight Park right now in the ring. Park comes to the ring and stops. Ray calls all of Park's family cowards, including Abyss, which draws Park over the railing. After Ray tells security to let him in, here's Joseph to the ring.
Park kind of Hulks Up but backs off. He's about to leave and Ray says he's guilty of taking out Abyss. You know, the guy that popped up a few weeks ago and was fine. Park grabs Ray by the throat but Ray says he'll sue. Park lets him go and says he's better than this. Ray leaves and Park challenges him to a fight right now. Ray says at Slammiversary.
Video on Crimson's undefeated streak. Crimson says he can't be beaten.
X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries
Aries is getting ready in the back when Joe comes up. Aries doesn't see Joe and nothing is said, so I'm assuming that'll be a major plot point later. Sabin is in trunks again. Aries takes him down with an armdrag but misses a seated dropkick. Sabin goes to the apron but Aries counters the sunset flip into the previously failed seated dropkick, getting two. A slingshot hilo and an elbow drop gets two.
La Majistral gets two for Sabin as he takes over. Aries sends him to the floor and hits the suicide dive. That gets him nowhere other than in the Tree of Woe, but the hesitation dropkick misses. Missile dropkick by Aries puts Sabin in the corner but his dropkick misses and Sabin baseball slides him to the floor. A springboard dive takes the champ out and Sabin hits a slingshot suplex into a neckbreaker for two. Cradle Shock and Brsinbuster are countered. Cradle Shock is countered again into a rollup for the pin at 3:55.
We see Hogan and Tazz from earlier, and apparently Tazz is replacing Flair in Gut Check.
The Gut Check guys look over Joey Ryan's match from last week. It's kind of interesting to see Tazz be all humble here when he's the biggest star of these three. They talk about how Ryan looks different but Tazz questions how seriously he took his opportunity. Pritchard says he wasn't blown away. This is in the back and yesterday by the way.
The four possible challengers for D-Von (RVD, Anderson, Hardy and Robbie E) are in the back. The fans get to vote for who they want to see get the show.
Here's Dixie Carter. She says that at Slammiversary, we'll announce the first ever TNA Hall of Fame inductee. She talks about the Knockouts needing a new leader and here's Brooke in a little black dress. Brooke says thanks and that's it. No mention of the AJ thing at all.
We go to Kaz and Daniels in the back who criticize Dixie's speech, saying there was nothing about the real issue with AJ in there at all.
Moment #5 is Christian debuting.
TV Title: D-Von vs. ???
To the shock of no one with a total of 4 brain cells or more, it's Jeff Hardy. D-Von gets some quick rollups for two and it's a standoff. Jeff shrugs off D-Von's offense and hits a clothesline in the corner. A charge misses in the corner and D-Von neckbreakers him down for two. Off to a nerve hold which Jeff easily breaks. Twist of Fate looks to set up the Swanton and here are the Robs for the DQ.
We go to James Storm's farm where he talks about being from a small town and how he wouldn't want it any other way. He likes hanging out with his daughter. He's made a decision about coming back or not but cuts the camera off before he says it.
We recap the way too long Daniels/Kaz/AJ saga.
Now it's time for Gut Check. The judges are Bruce Pritchard, Al Snow and Taz. Here's Joey Ryan in gear for some reason. Ryan says the judges should be honored to be in the ring with him and that he's trending on Twitter. Pritchard says no, Snow says yes, and Ryan gets to cut a promo before Tazz's vote. The fans are chanting for him and Ryan says to listen to the fans. Tazz says that if that's the best Ryan can do, he's out of his mind. He gets in Ryan's face and yells at him, saying no. Tazz says go out and prove yourself then come back. Right now it's no though.
We get a clip of Roode in London and cutting a promo in front of Big Ben. Not much to say here.
AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels
AJ is all ticked off here and rants a lot in between each move he hits. The dropkick puts Daniels down but he gets in a right hand to take over. AJ goes to the apron but Daniels' suplex attempt back in is countered. He guillotines Styles and sends him into the barricade to put Styles in trouble. We take a break and come back with Daniels hitting a springboard moonsault for two.
AJ avoids a charge and takes Daniels down with some elbows. Flying forearm hits and both guys are down. Scratch that as AJ nips up and hits the moonsault into the DDT minus the DDT as Daniels counters. Daniels goes to the apron and gets Pele'd back inside. Kaz comes out and gets drilled, allowing AJ to hit the moonsault into the DDT for the pin at 10:33.
Post match AJ gets double teamed until Angle makes the save. He puts Kaz in the ankle lock but Daniels comes back to take him down. Angle gets tied to the ropes and AJ gets drilled with a title belt. Daniels tells the fans that they're welcome, and now we're going to get to see more proof of AJ and Dixie. He says they have proof from the mouths of the two of them. It's a phone call of them talking with Dixie talking about AJ coming somewhere and him wanting to find out when her husband will be there. Nothing specifically is said but Dixie runs out and says cut it off to end the show.
Results
Sting b. Bobby Roode – Scorpion Deathlock
Austin Aries b. Chris Sabin – Rollup
D-Von vs. Jeff Hardy went to a no contest when Robbie E and Robbie T interfered
AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Reverse DDT
Friday
Impact got a .9 in it's 8pm debut.
Smackdown
Date: June 1, 2012
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
Tonight we have a Raw World Title match on Smackdown for the first time in a few years as Punk defends against Kane. I'd assume that Bryan has gotten the title match for No Way Out but it's hard to tell with this company anymore. Other than that we'll probably have some more stuff with Big Show as he continues to take over the stories everywhere. It'll also be interesting to see how they work around the Orton suspension. Let's get to it.
The opening video is about the title match tonight. It looks more like a TV commercial than a normal opening video.
Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the weather tomorrow for my neighborhood yard sale.
Here's Sheamus to open the show and we get a clip of him kicking Del Rio's head off to end the show last week. Sheamus talks about how Del Rio has been waited on hand and foot for years, but it's not going to matter at No Way Out because he can't buy the World Heavyweight Championship. Cue Otunga who again demands that Sheamus apologize for running over Ace. Sheamus says this isn't Starbucks where you order someone around. If Ace wants an apology, he can come out here and get it himself. Otunga: “You may be the whitest bulb, but you're not the brightest.”
Cue Del Rio who calls Sheamus a peasant and a street hooligan. People like Sheamus wind up working for people like Del Rio and Otunga. Otunga thinks Sheamus should be in a match tonight, with the opponent being chosen by Del Rio. The champ kicks Otunga's head off and Del Rio runs. Sheamus says never trust a hooligan.
Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater
No trampoline and he's in red and white not instead of blue and gold. The lighting is back too. Slater grabs the arm to start but Cara grabs the arm and hits his spinning wrist drag. Out to the floor for a BIG dive but Slater jumps him coming back in. Off to a chinlock but Cara fights out and hits some kicks to the leg. A jumping back elbow puts Slater down as does an enziguri from the apron. The La Mistica mat slam gets the pin at 2:24. I didn't see any botches here and Cara looked pretty good.
Damien Sandow vs. Ezekiel Jackson
Sandow's Titantron graphic has a theme of a curtain being pulled back like at a theater. Sandow says he won't be in this match and goes to leave but Jackson pulls him back in to get us going. The Torture Rack is countered and Sandow goes psycho. Russian legsweep puts Jackson down and the neckbreaker ends it at 1:36. Sandow gets in the Thinking Man position during his cover. I'm liking the 2012 Genius a bit more.
Del Rio and Ricardo are in the back when Ziggler comes in and asks to be put in the match tonight. Del Rio says okey dokey.
Ryan Shelton/Chris Lyons vs. Ryback
The jobbers are from Alabama so the Louisiana fans HATE them, due to them saying Roll Tide. It's the exact same match as last week with the double MuscleBuster getting the pin at 2:02.
Raw ReBound chronicles Show's destruction. Apparently Brodus has a concussion and bruised ribs.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus
Non-title. Ziggler cuts off Vickie's intro and says tonight he beats the champion. He's serious tonight. If the reaction is to be believed, Sheamus is getting very popular. Ziggler tries a headlock to start but gets run over very quickly. He dropkicks the champ down and hooks an armbar which gets him nowhere at all. Ziggler punches Sheamus in the corner but gets sent to the apron. Top rope cross body is caught in a Regal Roll for two.
Sheamus launches him over the top and to the floor as we take a break. Back with Sheamus breaking a top wristlock. Dolph runs to the apron and has to grab the ring skirt to keep from getting a worse beating. He suckers Sheamus in and guillotines him on the top rope. Sheamus gets dropkicked off the apron and onto the floor for awhile. Neckbreaker gets two back in the ring.
Off to the chinlock and Ziggler does the handstand. Booker: “That's just showing off.” Now he's getting it. Sheamus starts to fight up but gets caught in a DDT for two. Ziggler hooks an ugly sleeper but Sheamus dumps him onto the apron for the ten forearms. Irish Curse is countered twice so Sheamus uses a regular backbreaker (which Cole calls the Irish Curse anyway). He loads up the top rope shoulder but gets crotche. A top rope X Factor gets a close two and a good reaction from the crowd on the kickout. Zig Zag is countered and it's White Noise, failed Swagger interference and the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:06 shown of 13:36.
Punk says he'll beat up anyone that Ace throws at him, including Kane. Kane is going to sleep tonight.
Darren Young/Titus O'Neil vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder
An inset promo says that O'Neil and Young want to be known as the Prime Time Players. Young and Santino get us going but it's quickly off to Titus. Ryder comes in to break up a double team which gets him run over by Young. Then Santino gets a rollup out of nowhere on Young for the pin at 1:13. What in the world was the point of that? They spent the pre-match stuff and the match talking about how awesome Young and O'Neil were and then the ending comes from out of nowhere. Marella and Ryder had no offense at all other than the rollup. Literally, none.
Post match here's Big Show to destroy everything. Make that just Ryder and Santino as Young and Titus escaped. Ryder tries to fight back but it gets him nowhere. The beating goes on for awhile. Show is in the same kind of stuff he was wearing before his turn. Santino gets put in a camel clutch on the steps on the stage before getting punched in the back of the head and knocked out. So in four days he's been punched out and made to tap out in 45 seconds. Another champion is made to look like a joke.
We see Punk in the back but it's actually AJ in a Punk shirt. Bryan pops up and asks why AJ thinks Punk cares about her. He pretends to care about her again and you can see her knees get weak. Bryan is only joking though.
Cody Rhodes vs. Tyson Kidd
Christian is on commentary and Kidd has full tights now. Kidd gets in a quick legsweep but Cody is too fired up for Kidd to be able to do much. Tyson keeps fighting and tries the Dungeon Lock but Cody shrugs it off and Cross Rhodes ends this at 1:20.
Cody and Christian stare at each other a lot post match.
Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Kane
They have a lot of time here. The announcers talk about how Kane hasn't been champion in 14 years. Cole thankfully points out the mistake and reminds Booker of the Smackdown World Title that Kane won like a year and a half ago. Out to the floor and Punk drops a double ax off the top onto Kane to take over. Back in and the uppercut drops Punk, but he dropkicks Kane's knee out to send him into the middle buckle.
Punk wraps Kane's arm around the post and drops some elbows onto it as well. He works on it some more and hooks on a top wristlock. Kane throws him off and sends him tot he floor as we take a break. Back with Punk in control but quickly getting knocked to the floor. Here's AJ to check on the champion. Back in and Kane slams Punk and drops an elbow for two. Chokeslam is countered into a DDT but Punk can't follow up.
Punk hits two knees in the corner but still can't hit the bulldog. High Kick misses but the spinning neckbreaker gets two. Kane tries to slam him but Punk slips out and hits the High Kick for two. Punk tries the GTS but Kane falls on top of him. Low dropkick gets two. Top rope clothesline is countered by a dropkick and now it's Punk going up.
AJ gets on the apron to try to get his attention. She's pointing at Bryan who is coming to jump Punk. The champ dives on Bryan on the floor but that's not a DQ. Punk kicks Kane from the apron and drops the Macho Elbow for two. Cole: “The championship almost left Punk there.” Punk goes up and jumps into the uppercut. Kane loads up the chokeslam but Bryan comes in and dropkicks both guys for the DQ at 12:00 shown of 15:30.
Bryan DESTROYS Punk with kicks but both guys get chokeslammed. Ace and Eve come out to make the triple threat match.
Results
Sin Cara b. Heath Slater – Spinning Mat Slam
Damien Sandow b. Ezekiel Jackson – Neckbreaker
Ryback b. Ryan Shelton/Chris Lyons – Double MuscleBuster
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
Santino Marella/Zack Ryder b. Darren Young/Titus O'Neil – Rollup to Young
Cody Rhodes b. Tyson Kidd – Cross Rhodes
CM Punk vs. Kane went to a no contest when Daniel Bryan interfered
Saturday
Apparently Cody Rhodes failed a drug test but because he had a valid prescription he's not in trouble.
Sunday
Nothing today.
Quick Results
Raw
Alberto Del Rio b. Santino Marella – Cross Armbreaker
R-Truth/Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Little Jimmy to Swagger
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk – Hot Shot onto an exposed turnbuckle
Christian b. The Miz – Frog Splash
Sheamus b. David Otunga – Brogue Kick
NXT
Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks b. The Usos – Powerslam/Neckbreaker combination to Jey Uso
Kaitlyn b. Tamina Snuka – Full Nelson with Legs
Justin Gabriel/Derrick Bateman/Percy Watson b. JTG/Johnny Curtis/Michael McGillicutty – Tornado DDT to JTG
Impact Wrestling
Sting b. Bobby Roode – Scorpion Deathlock
Austin Aries b. Chris Sabin – Rollup
D-Von vs. Jeff Hardy went to a no contest when Robbie E and Robbie T interfered
AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Reverse DDT
Smackdown
Sin Cara b. Heath Slater – Spinning Mat Slam
Damien Sandow b. Ezekiel Jackson – Neckbreaker
Ryback b. Ryan Shelton/Chris Lyons – Double MuscleBuster
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
Santino Marella/Zack Ryder b. Darren Young/Titus O'Neil – Rollup to Young
Cody Rhodes b. Tyson Kidd – Cross Rhodes
CM Punk vs. Kane went to a no contest when Daniel Bryan interfered
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 28, 2012
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
It's Memorial Day which means that not a lot of people are going to watch here. Hopefully that doesn't mean they put on a horrible show which they've been known to do at times. The main story is still Cena/Ace with the occasional mention of Lesnar vs. HHH, because who would want to see Brock Lesnar when we can have a dynamic skateboarder? Let's get to it.
The opening video is about Memorial Day and the military as you would expect.
The regular opening is about Cena/Ace/Show from the PPV and last week.
Here's Show to open things up. He says that while he's a giant, he's a businessman first. What he did, he did it for the sake of business. The bonus he got has set him for life, meaning that he doesn't have to please the fans anymore and he can beat people up as he pleases. No one can match him, be it an NFL player, a UFC fighter, or a WWE superstar.
Two weeks ago he was made to beg, but immediately after it, this happened. We see a clip of Brodus, Kofi and Truth dancing with kids from immediately after. Where was his sympathy? Then at the end of the night, Cena made jokes while talking with Ace, so maybe that's all Show is: a big joke. At No Way Out, Cena will get a real beating and have the real embarrassment that Rock and Lesnar tried to give him. And that's it. No Cena or anything, just ten minutes of Show talking.
Punk vs. Bryan tonight? Cool.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Santino Marella
This is I guess fallout from Santino vs. Ricardo. Alberto beats him down very quickly but gets caught by the hiptoss and headbutt, but the Cobra is broken up and the US Champion taps to the cross armbreaker at 45 seconds.
Alex Riley sucks up to Eve when Big Show pops up. Show gets to pick his opponent tonight and looks at Riley, who begs off. Show says it's ok and that Riley won't be his opponent. There's a message he has for the locker room though, and he rams Riley into the wall. Ok then.
Tag Titles: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler
Truth and Swagger get things going and it's off to Truth quickly. We get some hip thrusting and Swagger charges over the top. Kofi and Truth kick Ziggler in the head and send him to the floor. Stereo baseball slides take us to a break. Back with Swagger holding onto Kofi. During the break Kofi was knocked to the barricade, which Lawler says meant we almost had new champions.
Dolph comes in and drops an elbow for two before working on the arm. A Stinger Splash misses and it's off to Truth. A rollup and DDT both get two on Swagger as the fans are into this for some reason. Truth launches Kofi onto Dolph and they head to the floor. Little Jimmy to Swagger retains the titles at 7:11.
Post match Dolph yells at Swagger that he's better and walks out on his own. Thank goodness.
Santino is getting help in the back when Show comes up. He puts his hand over Santino's face and yells when Brodus comes up. Brodus wants to be the opponent and Show says it's on.
Here's Ace and his administration. He says that tonight it's Show vs. Brodus and at No Way Out, Show vs. Cena is in a cage. There's something covered up behind him under a sheet. Ace talks about WWE '13 (video game) and unveils the cover which has him on it of course. “It's going to be bigger than Pac-Man!” Cue Punk who says exactly what you would expect him to say. He says that someone a lot more handsome will be on the cover.
Fireworks go off and a banner with Punk on the cover comes down. Punk: “Mine is a lot bigger than yours.” He talks about how great it is to have a wrestler on the cover of a wrestling game, and knows that he's got Bryan tonight so there's no point in making some “never before seen” match. The administration leaves and Punk breaks the Ace poster.
Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk
This is non-title. We get a video about the Kane aspect of this feud so you know what's coming at the end. Punk controls the arm to start and Bryan does the same a bit later. Bryan misses a knee drop and Punk drops some knees of his own for two. Off to a bodyscissors which is broken pretty quickly. Backslide gets two for both and Bryan goes up, hitting a top rope knee to send Punk to the floor. Baseball slide misses and Punk hits a dive to take Bryan out. Cue AJ in a Punk shirt as we take a break.
During the break Bryan hit another knee to the head, this time from the apron. It doesn't seem to matter as Punk is in control. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner and Punk misses his spinning cross body, crashing to the mat. Bryan hits a dropkick to the side of the head and another in the corner for two. Punk fires off kicks from the mat but gets caught in a northern lights suplex for two. Punk comes back with some strikes and the spinning neckbreaker for two. Knee/bulldog in the corner of course doesn't work but Bryan's high kick does as well, getting Punk two off a rollup.
Springboard clothesline gets two for Punk and both guys are down. The Macho Elbow drop is broken up and Bryan superplexes him off the top. That only gets two and the fans are getting back into it. I'm not sure why they got out of it in the first place. Bryan takes the buckle pad off and AJ protests, but that just lets Bryan do more. Punk hits the High Kick for two. He charges at Bryan and gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle for the pin at 15:10.
Kane beats up Bryan with a chair post match and chokeslams him onto said chair. AJ slides one in to Punk before Kane can hit Punk with it and Punk beats Kane to the floor.
Christian vs. The Miz
Before the match we hear about Jericho not being here because of the Brazil incident. Cody is on commentary. Christian tries a sunset flip out of the corner but Miz rolls through and hits a boot to the face of the champ. Corner clothesline hits as does the top rope axhandle for two. Off to a chinlock and then a camel clutch. Christian fights back and loads up a spear but charges into a boot to the face. Cody gets off commentary and distracts Christian for two. The Finale and Killswitch are countered but Miz misses a charge and it's Killsiwtch and Frog Splash for the pin at 4:14.
Ace sends Teddy away and yells at Otunga and Eve. Otunga volunteers to face Sheamus tonight as penance. Teddy comes back with Eve's coffer and she spits it on him because it's cold. Everyone but Teddy leaves. Teddy: “It's supposed to be cold. IT'S ICED COFFEE.”
After a break, Miz is in the ring. He wants the match stricken from the record because it wasn't for the title. He got the pin for Ace at Wrestlemania but can't get a title match or a guarnateed contract. Orton comes out, RKOs Miz, and that's that. I guess Miz is replacing Jericho.
Ziggler is watching in the back and says he wants out of the tag team. He wants to be on his own so Vickie says she'll see what she can do.
We get a video with comments from Cena about Memorial Day. Just put a big VOTE FOR MCMAHON graphic up already.
Kane vs. Punk for the title on Friday.
Sheamus vs. David Otunga
Otunga uses the strength that he has to pound Sheamus into the corner but the champ takes his head off with a double ax. There are the ten forearms, White Noise, Brogue Kick, 2:45.
We get the same recap that opened the show but a slightly shorter version.
Brodus Clay vs. Big Show
It's 11pm so it's time for Show to talk. He says that he thought he was a sellout when he put on a diaper against Akebono at Wrestlemania. That's nothing compared to Brodus though, who embarrasses himself nightly. Brodus comes up the aisle and gets speared down. Show destroys him as well as the tag champions when they run out.
He breaks the announce table and hits Brodus in the back with it before beating up the champions a bit more. Trouble in Paradise is caught in a choke until Kofi is thrown through the barricade. The beating goes on for awhile and Brodus gets punched. No match of course and Show and Ace pose on the stage to end the show. Cena is back next week.
Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Santino Marella – Cross Armbreaker
R-Truth/Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Little Jimmy to Swagger
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk – Hot Shot onto an exposed turnbuckle
Christian b. The Miz – Frog Splash
Sheamus b. David Otunga – Brogue Kick
Tuesday
Smackdown got a 1.8, up from last week.
Wednesday
Randy Orton has been suspended for 60 days, putting him out of the 1000th Raw. This is his second suspension.
Raw got a 2.7.
NXT
Date: May 30, 2012
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal
Back to what has officially become the most boring show this side of Warriors of Wrestling. We're hopefully wrapping this season up but getting there is really dragging, as there were zero stories last week as well as no promos at all. That's a shame as the show was starting to get good up until that point. Let's get to it.
To give you an idea of how much WWE.com cares about this show, their website says it's up every Wednesday at 4pm EST. It's currently 8:05pm EST and I have to watch this on Youtube because neither today's show, nor last week's show are currently on WWE.com's NXT page.
Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks vs. Usos
It's 8:19 and the show can now be found on WWE.com, if you look in the What's Hot section instead of the NXT section. If I'm a TV company, I'd be curious as to why I should put a show on that they don't even bother to put up on time. Anyway Jey and Reks get us going. Not much going on so far so Jey shouts to the crowd a little bit. Hawkins comes in and nothing goes anywhere now either. A quick chin/headlock by Jey goes nowhere so we head to the mat.
Off to Jimmy who armdrags Hawkins down and it's back to Jey. A headbutt to the chest gets one and the Usos tag again. Regal explains what cutting the ring in half means, because a term like that needs an explanation apparently. Jey escapes a slam and hits a great superkick to put Hawkins down. Reks pulls Curt to the floor to avoid the Superfly Splash so the Usos dive onto both heels as we take a break.
Back with Jey holding a hammerlock on Hawkins on the mat. Jey loads up a superkick but Hawkins drops to the floor and suckers Jey in. Blind tag brings in Reks and the Usos lose control for the first time. Hawkins comes in with a kick to the back and a chinlock. Back to Reks who puts on something like a Tazmission.
Jey escapes and it's off to Jimmy on a not very hot tag. A Bubba Bomb puts Reks down and the Umaga hip smash gets two. Hawkins interferes, allowing Reks to hit a Downward Spiral for two. Jey comes in with a Samoan Drop for two. Jimmy is sent to the floor and Reks/Hawkins hit a powerslam/neckbreaker combo to pin Jey at 10:59.
Tamina Snuka vs. Kaitlyn
Maxine is on commentary, which is literally the first continued story in two weeks. She's fought them both before and this is due to last week's Kaitlyn vs. Maxine match apparently. Kaitlyn takes her to the mat and hooks a bodyscissors and a rollup for two. Tamina takes her down as well and puts on a seated abdominal stretch. Maxine makes fun of Kaitlyn's hair and Tamina changes to a chinlock. The crowd is surprisingly not completely dead here. Kaitlyn fights out and hits a bad cross body for two. Kaitlyn trips her up as they run the ropes and hooks a full nelson with her legs to make Tamina tap (with her foot) at 5:21.
Raw ReBound is about Big Show, which is all that Monday's show was about anyway.
Justin Gabriel/Derrick Bateman/Percy Watson vs. Michael McGillicutty/Johnny Curtis/JTG
Hey Justin is back. JTG still has the new attire and I still don't want to see him ever again. Watson and JTG get us going Watson works on the arm but JTG speeds things up a bit. That's cool with Watson as he runs over JTG and slams him down for two. Off to Justin who hooks an armdrag into an armbar. JTG gets him into the corner and it's off to Curtis who takes over.
Gabriel channels his inner Steamboat and armdrags his way to freedom, taking Curtis to the mat. Off to Bateman who dropkicks Johnny down for two. He misses a charge though and McGillicutty stomps Bateman down in the corner. Everything breaks down and the faces stand tall as we take a break. Back with Michael putting Bateman in a chinlock and punching him in the face a few times.
Dropkick gets two on Bateman. Back to Curtis who has #letsgetweird on his trunks. If you really want to push Twitter that hard, you would think they could find a better billboard than Curtis. McGillicutty and Curtis tag two more times as I guess they won't like JTG either. Curtis gives up the tag and it's off to Watson. Watson cleans house but JTG low bridges him to send Percy crashing to the floor.
JTG pounds on Percy both in and out of the ring, getting two in the former. Off to the chinlock again and then back to Curtis. Elbow to the face gets two. Watson hits a belly to belly out of nowhere and makes the tag to Justin. JTG comes in at the same time and things speed up. Gabriel hits a blue Thunder Bomb for two and everything breaks down. Bateman dives on McGillicutty and Curtis while Gabriel hits a jumping tornado DDT for the pin at 12:13.
Results
Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks b. The Usos – Powerslam/Neckbreaker combination to Jey Uso
Kaitlyn b. Tamina Snuka – Full Nelson with Legs
Justin Gabriel/Derrick Bateman/Percy Watson b. JTG/Johnny Curtis/Michael McGillicutty – Tornado DDT to JTG
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: May 31, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
This is a big night tonight as not only are we moving up to 8pm, but it's also a live show. We're opening with Roode vs. Sting because this is all about hot new acts like Sting. Other than that I don't think there's anything scheduled other than the Gut Check Challenge and the debut of Brooke Hogan. Oh joy. Let's get to it.
We open with the lumberjacks at ringside and the champ is on first, along with Who.
Sting vs. Bobby Roode
This is non-title. Sting takes him down almost immediately and Roode is staggered. The champ pokes him in the eye but since this is Sting, it has no effect. Roode gets sent to the corner and kicked to the floor as the fans are into this for the most part. Sting kicks him back to the floor and again he gets thrown back in. The Splash misses and Sting is knocked to the floor where the heels get in some weak shots.
Back in and Sting comes back with a backdrop so Roode rolls back to the floor. Roode suckers him to the floor where the heels get in a better beatdown and the melee is about to begin. It doesn't quite start yet as Roode is in control, taking Sting to the mat and dropping a knee for two. Another Stinger Splash is countered by a boot to the face. Roode sends him to the floor and Sting beats up some lumberjacks as we take a break.
Back with Roode in control and sending Sting to the floor again. Roode chops in the corner which fires Sting up as it has for 24 years. Stinger Splash hits and Roode bails to the floor. It looks to be a big brawl but Sting dives over the top and takes out most of the champ's supporters. Back in the ring the Scorpion is countered into the Crossface but Sting is too close to the ropes. Fisherman's Suplex is countered into the Death Drop and the Deathlock in the middle of the ring. Roode taps and Sting wins at 13:40. Apparently this was non-title like I thought.
Hogan comes out post match and makes Sting vs. Roode for the title at Slammiversary.
Madison is straightening her sash in the back because she wants to look good for the guy that likes her. Oh and Brooke is going to be here later.
Here's Bully Ray in the ring and he wants Joseph Park, who is in the crowd with a soda (label torn off) and popcorn. We get a clip from last week and Ray wants to fight Park right now in the ring. Park comes to the ring and stops. Ray calls all of Park's family cowards, including Abyss, which draws Park over the railing. After Ray tells security to let him in, here's Joseph to the ring.
Park kind of Hulks Up but backs off. He's about to leave and Ray says he's guilty of taking out Abyss. You know, the guy that popped up a few weeks ago and was fine. Park grabs Ray by the throat but Ray says he'll sue. Park lets him go and says he's better than this. Ray leaves and Park challenges him to a fight right now. Ray says at Slammiversary.
Video on Crimson's undefeated streak. Crimson says he can't be beaten.
X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries
Aries is getting ready in the back when Joe comes up. Aries doesn't see Joe and nothing is said, so I'm assuming that'll be a major plot point later. Sabin is in trunks again. Aries takes him down with an armdrag but misses a seated dropkick. Sabin goes to the apron but Aries counters the sunset flip into the previously failed seated dropkick, getting two. A slingshot hilo and an elbow drop gets two.
La Majistral gets two for Sabin as he takes over. Aries sends him to the floor and hits the suicide dive. That gets him nowhere other than in the Tree of Woe, but the hesitation dropkick misses. Missile dropkick by Aries puts Sabin in the corner but his dropkick misses and Sabin baseball slides him to the floor. A springboard dive takes the champ out and Sabin hits a slingshot suplex into a neckbreaker for two. Cradle Shock and Brsinbuster are countered. Cradle Shock is countered again into a rollup for the pin at 3:55.
We see Hogan and Tazz from earlier, and apparently Tazz is replacing Flair in Gut Check.
The Gut Check guys look over Joey Ryan's match from last week. It's kind of interesting to see Tazz be all humble here when he's the biggest star of these three. They talk about how Ryan looks different but Tazz questions how seriously he took his opportunity. Pritchard says he wasn't blown away. This is in the back and yesterday by the way.
The four possible challengers for D-Von (RVD, Anderson, Hardy and Robbie E) are in the back. The fans get to vote for who they want to see get the show.
Here's Dixie Carter. She says that at Slammiversary, we'll announce the first ever TNA Hall of Fame inductee. She talks about the Knockouts needing a new leader and here's Brooke in a little black dress. Brooke says thanks and that's it. No mention of the AJ thing at all.
We go to Kaz and Daniels in the back who criticize Dixie's speech, saying there was nothing about the real issue with AJ in there at all.
Moment #5 is Christian debuting.
TV Title: D-Von vs. ???
To the shock of no one with a total of 4 brain cells or more, it's Jeff Hardy. D-Von gets some quick rollups for two and it's a standoff. Jeff shrugs off D-Von's offense and hits a clothesline in the corner. A charge misses in the corner and D-Von neckbreakers him down for two. Off to a nerve hold which Jeff easily breaks. Twist of Fate looks to set up the Swanton and here are the Robs for the DQ.
We go to James Storm's farm where he talks about being from a small town and how he wouldn't want it any other way. He likes hanging out with his daughter. He's made a decision about coming back or not but cuts the camera off before he says it.
We recap the way too long Daniels/Kaz/AJ saga.
Now it's time for Gut Check. The judges are Bruce Pritchard, Al Snow and Taz. Here's Joey Ryan in gear for some reason. Ryan says the judges should be honored to be in the ring with him and that he's trending on Twitter. Pritchard says no, Snow says yes, and Ryan gets to cut a promo before Tazz's vote. The fans are chanting for him and Ryan says to listen to the fans. Tazz says that if that's the best Ryan can do, he's out of his mind. He gets in Ryan's face and yells at him, saying no. Tazz says go out and prove yourself then come back. Right now it's no though.
We get a clip of Roode in London and cutting a promo in front of Big Ben. Not much to say here.
AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels
AJ is all ticked off here and rants a lot in between each move he hits. The dropkick puts Daniels down but he gets in a right hand to take over. AJ goes to the apron but Daniels' suplex attempt back in is countered. He guillotines Styles and sends him into the barricade to put Styles in trouble. We take a break and come back with Daniels hitting a springboard moonsault for two.
AJ avoids a charge and takes Daniels down with some elbows. Flying forearm hits and both guys are down. Scratch that as AJ nips up and hits the moonsault into the DDT minus the DDT as Daniels counters. Daniels goes to the apron and gets Pele'd back inside. Kaz comes out and gets drilled, allowing AJ to hit the moonsault into the DDT for the pin at 10:33.
Post match AJ gets double teamed until Angle makes the save. He puts Kaz in the ankle lock but Daniels comes back to take him down. Angle gets tied to the ropes and AJ gets drilled with a title belt. Daniels tells the fans that they're welcome, and now we're going to get to see more proof of AJ and Dixie. He says they have proof from the mouths of the two of them. It's a phone call of them talking with Dixie talking about AJ coming somewhere and him wanting to find out when her husband will be there. Nothing specifically is said but Dixie runs out and says cut it off to end the show.
Results
Sting b. Bobby Roode – Scorpion Deathlock
Austin Aries b. Chris Sabin – Rollup
D-Von vs. Jeff Hardy went to a no contest when Robbie E and Robbie T interfered
AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Reverse DDT
Friday
Impact got a .9 in it's 8pm debut.
Smackdown
Date: June 1, 2012
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
Tonight we have a Raw World Title match on Smackdown for the first time in a few years as Punk defends against Kane. I'd assume that Bryan has gotten the title match for No Way Out but it's hard to tell with this company anymore. Other than that we'll probably have some more stuff with Big Show as he continues to take over the stories everywhere. It'll also be interesting to see how they work around the Orton suspension. Let's get to it.
The opening video is about the title match tonight. It looks more like a TV commercial than a normal opening video.
Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the weather tomorrow for my neighborhood yard sale.
Here's Sheamus to open the show and we get a clip of him kicking Del Rio's head off to end the show last week. Sheamus talks about how Del Rio has been waited on hand and foot for years, but it's not going to matter at No Way Out because he can't buy the World Heavyweight Championship. Cue Otunga who again demands that Sheamus apologize for running over Ace. Sheamus says this isn't Starbucks where you order someone around. If Ace wants an apology, he can come out here and get it himself. Otunga: “You may be the whitest bulb, but you're not the brightest.”
Cue Del Rio who calls Sheamus a peasant and a street hooligan. People like Sheamus wind up working for people like Del Rio and Otunga. Otunga thinks Sheamus should be in a match tonight, with the opponent being chosen by Del Rio. The champ kicks Otunga's head off and Del Rio runs. Sheamus says never trust a hooligan.
Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater
No trampoline and he's in red and white not instead of blue and gold. The lighting is back too. Slater grabs the arm to start but Cara grabs the arm and hits his spinning wrist drag. Out to the floor for a BIG dive but Slater jumps him coming back in. Off to a chinlock but Cara fights out and hits some kicks to the leg. A jumping back elbow puts Slater down as does an enziguri from the apron. The La Mistica mat slam gets the pin at 2:24. I didn't see any botches here and Cara looked pretty good.
Damien Sandow vs. Ezekiel Jackson
Sandow's Titantron graphic has a theme of a curtain being pulled back like at a theater. Sandow says he won't be in this match and goes to leave but Jackson pulls him back in to get us going. The Torture Rack is countered and Sandow goes psycho. Russian legsweep puts Jackson down and the neckbreaker ends it at 1:36. Sandow gets in the Thinking Man position during his cover. I'm liking the 2012 Genius a bit more.
Del Rio and Ricardo are in the back when Ziggler comes in and asks to be put in the match tonight. Del Rio says okey dokey.
Ryan Shelton/Chris Lyons vs. Ryback
The jobbers are from Alabama so the Louisiana fans HATE them, due to them saying Roll Tide. It's the exact same match as last week with the double MuscleBuster getting the pin at 2:02.
Raw ReBound chronicles Show's destruction. Apparently Brodus has a concussion and bruised ribs.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus
Non-title. Ziggler cuts off Vickie's intro and says tonight he beats the champion. He's serious tonight. If the reaction is to be believed, Sheamus is getting very popular. Ziggler tries a headlock to start but gets run over very quickly. He dropkicks the champ down and hooks an armbar which gets him nowhere at all. Ziggler punches Sheamus in the corner but gets sent to the apron. Top rope cross body is caught in a Regal Roll for two.
Sheamus launches him over the top and to the floor as we take a break. Back with Sheamus breaking a top wristlock. Dolph runs to the apron and has to grab the ring skirt to keep from getting a worse beating. He suckers Sheamus in and guillotines him on the top rope. Sheamus gets dropkicked off the apron and onto the floor for awhile. Neckbreaker gets two back in the ring.
Off to the chinlock and Ziggler does the handstand. Booker: “That's just showing off.” Now he's getting it. Sheamus starts to fight up but gets caught in a DDT for two. Ziggler hooks an ugly sleeper but Sheamus dumps him onto the apron for the ten forearms. Irish Curse is countered twice so Sheamus uses a regular backbreaker (which Cole calls the Irish Curse anyway). He loads up the top rope shoulder but gets crotche. A top rope X Factor gets a close two and a good reaction from the crowd on the kickout. Zig Zag is countered and it's White Noise, failed Swagger interference and the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:06 shown of 13:36.
Punk says he'll beat up anyone that Ace throws at him, including Kane. Kane is going to sleep tonight.
Darren Young/Titus O'Neil vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder
An inset promo says that O'Neil and Young want to be known as the Prime Time Players. Young and Santino get us going but it's quickly off to Titus. Ryder comes in to break up a double team which gets him run over by Young. Then Santino gets a rollup out of nowhere on Young for the pin at 1:13. What in the world was the point of that? They spent the pre-match stuff and the match talking about how awesome Young and O'Neil were and then the ending comes from out of nowhere. Marella and Ryder had no offense at all other than the rollup. Literally, none.
Post match here's Big Show to destroy everything. Make that just Ryder and Santino as Young and Titus escaped. Ryder tries to fight back but it gets him nowhere. The beating goes on for awhile. Show is in the same kind of stuff he was wearing before his turn. Santino gets put in a camel clutch on the steps on the stage before getting punched in the back of the head and knocked out. So in four days he's been punched out and made to tap out in 45 seconds. Another champion is made to look like a joke.
We see Punk in the back but it's actually AJ in a Punk shirt. Bryan pops up and asks why AJ thinks Punk cares about her. He pretends to care about her again and you can see her knees get weak. Bryan is only joking though.
Cody Rhodes vs. Tyson Kidd
Christian is on commentary and Kidd has full tights now. Kidd gets in a quick legsweep but Cody is too fired up for Kidd to be able to do much. Tyson keeps fighting and tries the Dungeon Lock but Cody shrugs it off and Cross Rhodes ends this at 1:20.
Cody and Christian stare at each other a lot post match.
Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Kane
They have a lot of time here. The announcers talk about how Kane hasn't been champion in 14 years. Cole thankfully points out the mistake and reminds Booker of the Smackdown World Title that Kane won like a year and a half ago. Out to the floor and Punk drops a double ax off the top onto Kane to take over. Back in and the uppercut drops Punk, but he dropkicks Kane's knee out to send him into the middle buckle.
Punk wraps Kane's arm around the post and drops some elbows onto it as well. He works on it some more and hooks on a top wristlock. Kane throws him off and sends him tot he floor as we take a break. Back with Punk in control but quickly getting knocked to the floor. Here's AJ to check on the champion. Back in and Kane slams Punk and drops an elbow for two. Chokeslam is countered into a DDT but Punk can't follow up.
Punk hits two knees in the corner but still can't hit the bulldog. High Kick misses but the spinning neckbreaker gets two. Kane tries to slam him but Punk slips out and hits the High Kick for two. Punk tries the GTS but Kane falls on top of him. Low dropkick gets two. Top rope clothesline is countered by a dropkick and now it's Punk going up.
AJ gets on the apron to try to get his attention. She's pointing at Bryan who is coming to jump Punk. The champ dives on Bryan on the floor but that's not a DQ. Punk kicks Kane from the apron and drops the Macho Elbow for two. Cole: “The championship almost left Punk there.” Punk goes up and jumps into the uppercut. Kane loads up the chokeslam but Bryan comes in and dropkicks both guys for the DQ at 12:00 shown of 15:30.
Bryan DESTROYS Punk with kicks but both guys get chokeslammed. Ace and Eve come out to make the triple threat match.
Results
Sin Cara b. Heath Slater – Spinning Mat Slam
Damien Sandow b. Ezekiel Jackson – Neckbreaker
Ryback b. Ryan Shelton/Chris Lyons – Double MuscleBuster
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
Santino Marella/Zack Ryder b. Darren Young/Titus O'Neil – Rollup to Young
Cody Rhodes b. Tyson Kidd – Cross Rhodes
CM Punk vs. Kane went to a no contest when Daniel Bryan interfered
Saturday
Apparently Cody Rhodes failed a drug test but because he had a valid prescription he's not in trouble.
Sunday
Nothing today.
Quick Results
Raw
Alberto Del Rio b. Santino Marella – Cross Armbreaker
R-Truth/Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Little Jimmy to Swagger
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk – Hot Shot onto an exposed turnbuckle
Christian b. The Miz – Frog Splash
Sheamus b. David Otunga – Brogue Kick
NXT
Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks b. The Usos – Powerslam/Neckbreaker combination to Jey Uso
Kaitlyn b. Tamina Snuka – Full Nelson with Legs
Justin Gabriel/Derrick Bateman/Percy Watson b. JTG/Johnny Curtis/Michael McGillicutty – Tornado DDT to JTG
Impact Wrestling
Sting b. Bobby Roode – Scorpion Deathlock
Austin Aries b. Chris Sabin – Rollup
D-Von vs. Jeff Hardy went to a no contest when Robbie E and Robbie T interfered
AJ Styles b. Christopher Daniels – Reverse DDT
Smackdown
Sin Cara b. Heath Slater – Spinning Mat Slam
Damien Sandow b. Ezekiel Jackson – Neckbreaker
Ryback b. Ryan Shelton/Chris Lyons – Double MuscleBuster
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
Santino Marella/Zack Ryder b. Darren Young/Titus O'Neil – Rollup to Young
Cody Rhodes b. Tyson Kidd – Cross Rhodes
CM Punk vs. Kane went to a no contest when Daniel Bryan interfered