klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 25, 2015
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield
It's Memorial Day and also the last Raw before Elimination Chamber. The two Chamber matches are set and we also have the World Title match ready to go, leaving just the details to be added to the matches to make things fully ready. There's also the issue of Owens powerbombing Cena last week and standing on his US Title. Let's get to it.
We open with the traditional salute to the veterans who have passed away serving their country. In the arena, we have a moment of silence and a ten bell salute. WWE always does a great job with these things.
Here's the Authority in full to open things up. After a look at the ending to last week's show, Seth talks about Ambrose coercing the Authority into giving him a title at Elimination Chamber last week. That's not how the Authority operates because it's not best for business. Therefore, couldn't the Authority just take away the title match or fire Ambrose right now? Well they could and they considered it, but Rollins asked them not to.
HHH has a contract ready for Ambrose to sign so here's Dean to the stage. Dean thinks there might be something wrong with him because he's been having trouble sleeping lately. He's tried counting sheep but he would rather count the times he punches Rollins in the face. It's the closest thing to happiness he can have and that's what he got last week. He always enjoys beating Seth up, but next time he wants it to be for the World Title.
Once he becomes the new face of the WWE, there are going to be some changes. The Stooges can go barefoot like some respectable hobbits and Kane can just wear a collar like the lapdog that he is. That leaves Rollins to drunk dial Selena Gomez like the Justin Bieber that he is.
Rollins shrugs off the Justin Bieber chants by actually defending him, saying the fans all want to be Bieber, just like Ambrose wants to be like Seth. He talks about Ambrose being a loser all his life and asks him to sign so he can lose one more time. Really good back and forth segment here with the Authority just being in the background while it happened. Ambrose comes to the ring but here's Reigns to have his back. Stephanie gets on the mic and says Dean can sign the contract until the end of the show, but until then, it's Reigns/Ambrose vs. Rollins/Kane right now.
Seth Rollins/Kane vs. Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns
Kane slugs Ambrose in the corner to start but Dean punches and chops up against the ropes. Off to Reigns who takes Kane down with a suplex before Rollins comes in to do the same to Ambrose. It's quickly back to Reigns for a Samoan drop on Seth but he goes outside to chase the Stooges off, only to get caught in a chinlock back inside. A lukewarm tag brings in Ambrose for shots in the corner and a clothesline to put Seth outside, setting up the suicide dive. The good guys stand tall and we take a break.
Back with Rollins stopping a Dean comeback and getting some nice applause from the Stooges. A big time clothesline puts Rollins down and the hot tag brings in Reigns. Roman cleans house for a bit until a Kane boot puts him down. That earns him a Superman Punch and the top rope elbow from Dean for two with Rollins making the save. The springboard knee to the head gets two for Seth (that looked good) but an enziguri knocks Dean into the ropes, only to have him bounce back and grab a backslide to pin Rollins at 13:25.
After a break, Ambrose says he'll get the contract signed later in the night. The Stooges come up and say they have the contract but Mercury forgot it. Noble: Well slap me upside my head and call me Sally! Always the gentleman, Ambrose does just that and beats up the two of them before punching a cameraman by mistake. Dean looks upset by what he did to the innocent guy.
Video package on Kevin Owens' career.
The cast of the movie Entourage arrives and don't get much of a reaction.
Rusev vs. R-Truth
Rusev is officially Bulgarian again. Truth gets in a few shots but the Accolade wraps things up in 59 seconds.
Post match Rusev says he and Lana need to talk so please get down here. He stays in the ring waiting for her through a break asking her to come out and talk to him. Come on man. At least have a giant boom box. Lana finally comes out but won't let Rusev hold the ropes open for her. Rusev knows she cares about him, even with all the mistakes she's made and that he makes sure to list off.
It's not her fault though. She's a woman, and all women make mistakes. He talks about the dreams they had back in Bulgaria and asks her to take his hand....which she eventually does. Rusev wants to hear three magical words though: I was wrong. That's too much for Lana though as she shoves his hand away and leaves, saying Rusev quit. Rusev: YOU NEED TO KNOW YOUR PLACE WOMAN! Lana calls him a liar and a quitter. No one earns her, especially Rusev. She leaves yet again and here's Ziggler for another kiss.
So yeah, remember the last year plus of Rusev being a monster who beat Cena by knockout at Fast Lane? Well screw all that because we need to put him in a stupid soap opera style story because EVERYONE is a character like that who needs to have depth and emotions and all that nonsense.
HHH and Rollins come into Ambrose's locker room and have the cameraman say that Ambrose hit him, despite thinking someone pushed him. Dean is arrested (Yeah I've heard this before.) and HHH smiles.
Post break the Stooges laugh at Ambrose as he's taken away.
King Barrett vs. Ryback
Ryback still has bad ribs coming in. Barrett is thrown around to start and planted with an early powerslam but he rolls outside. Ryback follows but takes a hard kick to the ribs to give the King control. Back in and some kicks to the ribs followed by a middle rope elbow get two. Wasteland gets the same as Barrett wisely stays on the ribs. The Bull Hammer takes too long to set up though, allowing Ryback to hit a spinebuster and the Shell Shock for the pin at 3:56.
The cast of Entourage comes in to see the Authority and name drop people cameoing in their movie. They bring up Rhonda Rousey making Stephanie scream at Wrestlemania and are politely asked to leave.
Tough Enough videos.
Stardust vs. Neville
Stephen Amell of Arrow is in the front row. Neville vs. Bo Dallas is official for Sunday. Stardust goes after the bad knee to start as the announcers talk about Stardust and Amell feuding on Twitter. As Stardust puts on a half crab, Bo Dallas slowly walks to the ring to cheer for Neville. Stardust can't hit a superplex as Neville kicks him down and nails a tornado DDT, setting up the Red Arrow (after some slaps to the bad knee to wake it up again) for the pin at 3:19.
Post match Dallas tells him to Bolieve and kicks the knee out again.
The Entourage guys hit on the Total Divas, creating a massive vortex of indifference. Zack Ryder comes up and asks them to come into his dressing room because he has an idea.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus
Cole incorrectly says the Intercontinental Title is the only title Sheamus has never held (Tag Team Titles being the other). Sheamus runs him over to start as the announcers talk about Lana and Rusev. We're already in the chinlock with Sheamus talking a lot of trash at the same time. They head outside with Dolph ramming him into the announcers' table, only to get kicked in the knee back inside.
A Cactus clothesline puts both guys on the floor but Sheamus powerslams him outside, drawing Lana to the stage to watch. Back from a break with Sheamus getting two off a neckbreaker but Ziggler fights up with a bunch of forearms. The Fameasser gets two and Ziggler escapes White Noise and ducks the Brogue Kick. Ziggler's superkick gets two and here comes Rusev to the ring for a distraction, allowing Sheamus to hit the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:20.
Rusev puts on the Accolade to make Ziggler look at Lana. KISS HIM NOW!
It's Open Challenge time. Fans: JOHN CENA SUCKS! Cena to the camera: I guess the remix is still a popular song. Cena says in the last ten years, the WWE Universe can be summed up in five words: Let's go Cena, Cena sucks. He thanks the fans who believe in hustle, loyalty and respect but has to stop for a WE WANT RYDER chant. Those people have had his back for years and he thanks them from the bottom of his heart.
That brings him to the other group of fans, who have been begging for someone to get in this ring and knock him down. Name after name have tried to do just that but all of them have failed. Last week he met Kevin Owens, who broke the internet last week and then broke his best friend Sami Zayn in half.
Maybe that's why the fans think Kevin Owens is the man that can put Cena down for good. This Sunday those fans that chant CENA SUCKS can instead chant FIGHT OWENS FIGHT. Owens can fight all he wants because it doesn't mean WIN OWENS WIN. Last week Cena found out that Owens knows how to start a fight and this Sunday he'll find out if Owens can finish one. That's Sunday though, so let's get to tonight. The Open Challenge starts right now.
Cena is ready and here's the cast of Entourage. Cole: Really? Thankfully they're just here to introduce the man taking the challenge.
US Title: John Cena vs. Zack Ryder
The Entourage cast is at ringside. Some early suplexes get two for Cena to start but Ryder comes back with the middle rope dropkick. Cena avoids the Broski Boot and starts his finishing sequence, only to have one of the Entourage guys get in for a distraction. A quick rollup gets two on Cena but Ryder counters the AA into a Killswitch for two. Now the Broski Boot gets two and the Rough Ryder gets the same. Zack goes up top but misses a 450 of all things, setting up the AA for the pin at 4:05.
Cena, Ryder and the Entourage guys get to pose in the ring for a nice moment. Cena poses on his own but turns around for a Pop Up Powerbomb from Owens, now wearing a FIGHT OWENS FIGHT shirt. Owens stomps on the US Title again for good measure.
The Authority recaps the Ambrose incident.
Now the announcers recap the Ambrose incident.
Tamina vs. Paige
Bellas are on commentary. Tamina knocks her to the floor to start and slaps on a neck crank. A quick rollup gets two for Paige followed by her three clotheslines and a dropkick. Nikki gets in a quick cheap shot though and Tamina's Samoan drop is good for the pin at 3:52.
Here's the New Day to say it's preposterous and ridiculous that they're being persecuted for being positive. No one wants to see them lose their titles! Just ask the WWE Universe! Cue Kane to say that the Chamber is fair, but the following match isn't quite the same.
Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Los Matadores/Lucha Dragons/Prime Time Players/Ascension vs. New Day
10-3 handicap match and joined in progress with......never mind as all ten come in for the big beatdown and the DQ at 49 seconds. Yes, the HEELS are in a big handicap match and were put there by a heel. I guess logic and the Curb Stomp can chill together on the banned list.
We get the big brawl with the Dragons diving on most of the other people at the same time. New Day stands tall, only to have Cesaro and Kidd come in and clean house.
Preview of the preview of the Daniel Bryan documentary airing on the Network tonight.
We get a second angle of Ambrose punching the camerman (from the WWE Youtube channel because of course it is) because Rollins shoved Ambrose into him. This really doesn't change anything as Ambrose still turned around and punched him, but this show is a sitcom instead of a wrestling show.
Here's the Authority for the big stupid ending to this stupid, stupid show. Yeah there's a video, yeah there's evidence saying Ambrose is innocent (he isn't) but there's no time. Therefore....cue Reigns before HHH can say it's too late. The brawl is on, Reigns gets beaten down, Ambrose shows up in the police van and wearing police gear, and the big brawl allows Ambrose to sign just in time. CUE THAT LAUGH TRACK AND END THEME SONG!!!
Results
Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins/Kane Backslide to Rollins
Rusev b. R-Truth Accolade
Ryback b. King Barrett Shell Shock
Neville b. Stardust Red Arrow
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler Brogue Kick
John Cena b. Zack Ryder Attitude Adjustment
New Day b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Los Matadores/Lucha Dragons/Ascension/Prime Time Players via DQ when all ten attacked New Day at the same time
Tuesday
Nothing.
Wednesday
Destination America will be airing Ring of Honor starting June 3 at 8pm. This is the same night Impact Wrestling starts airing at 9pm.
NXT
Date: May 27, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Rich Brennan
It's the week after Takeover: Unstoppable and the main story seems to be Kevin Owens fights everyone at once. After challenging John Cena on Raw, sending Sami Zayn away to get shoulder surgery, possibly putting Hideo Itami on the shelf, attacking Commissioner William Regal and getting a new #1 contender with Samoa Joe, Owens now has to deal with the debuting Samoa Joe. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week, complete with a quick interview with Joe where he says he's coming for the title.
Opening sequence.
Sami Zayn's music opens the show but we get Kevin Owens instead. He was going to issue an NXT Title Open Challenge, but he isn't insecure enough to have to defend his title against anyone every week. The fans sing JOHN CENA SUCKS, but Owens finds it odd that they never say that about Sami Zayn and he sucks too. We won't be seeing Sami again anyway because Owens did exactly what he said he would do at Takeover. The only reason he did that was so he could keep the NXT Title and keep providing for his family, because that's what a good man does.
Another thing a good man did was to let Samoa Joe live last week. A lot of people have said that Joe is gonna kill him, but that's as ridiculous as the colors of John Cena's merchandise. If Joe ever steps in the same ring as Owens again, he'll drop Joe just like that. Speaking of dropping people, that's what he's going to do at Elimination Chamber when he shows John Cena that the champ is here.
This brings out General Manager William Regal, who says Owens is walking a thin line. Owens says Regal put his hands on Owens first, which Regal considers the only reason Owens still works here. Regal lists off all the people who have been taken out on a stretcher since Owens arrived, but Kevin denies being behind Itami's injury. Also, Sami's injuries are on Sami for asking for it and on Regal for making the match.
This brings out.....Solomon Crowe? Solomon heard Owens talking about how he isn't going to fight anyone unless they earn it and that means Kevin is scared. Kevin thinks Solomon has just earned an opportunity, so Regal makes the match. That means you can add Solomon to the list of people he's sent out of here on a stretcher (Riley, Sami, Sami, Sami, and now him.).
Look back at Hideo's arm injury last week.
Hideo says he's had surgery and when he comes back, there will be no stopping him.
We get an interview from last week with Zack Ryder, who was interrupted by Mojo Rawley, who freaked Zack out a little bit.
Emma vs. Bayley
Emma is flanked by Dana Brooke. Bayley gets stomped down in the corner to start and Emma cranks on an armbar, only to have Bayley throw her to the mat and just pound away with right hands. A kick to the face gets two near falls for Emma as the fans are of course completely behind Bayley. Emma throws her down by the hair a few times and grabs a leg drag, followed by the Emma Lock for the clean submission at 4:13.
Charlotte comes out for the post match save but gets beaten down as well.
Recap of Baron Corbin beating Rhyno last week.
Baron was being interviewed after his win last week when Rhyno came up and said they should do it again soon.
We see Becky Lynch's career retrospective from last week with new footage of her match with Sasha last week.
Elias Samson/Mike Rallis vs. Blake/Murphy
Non-title and Alexa Bliss is with the champs. Blake and Rallis get things going with Mike taking a quick beating. It's off to Murphy for a slingshot hilo and a chinlock as the champs continue to dismantle Rallis. Mike finally rolls over for a hot tag, bringing in Elias for some dropkicks. That lasts all of ten seconds before the running brainbuster into the frog splash is enough for the pin on Samson at 3:15.
Samson takes a Sparkle Splash for some insult to injury.
Post break, Bliss says she gravitated to the team because they're all winners. Compare this to Carmella, who is famous for being from a garbage dump like Long Island. Next week, that's where Bliss is sending her.
Tye Dillinger vs. Finn Balor
Dillinger scores with a quick elbow to the face but Balor smiles at him. Some choking with a boot in the corner has some more effect on Finn and we hit the chinlock. Balor comes back with a running forearm and basement dropkick, followed by the Sling Blade. The Coup de Grace completes the squash for Finn at 2:45.
Jason Jordan says he's found the perfect partner when Chad Gable comes up, saying it has to be him. Gable lists off his qualifications but Jordan says he already has a partner. He also says the wrong name so Gable throws him a towel with his name on it.
Kevin Owens vs. Solomon Crowe
Non-title. Owens bails to the floor so Solomon goes after him, only to eat some right hands to the face. Back in and Owens throws him outside again and we take a break. We come back with Owens putting on a chinlock. That gets boring in a hurry so Owens just hammers him down and tosses Solomon back to the floor. The pop-up powerbomb finally ends Crowe at 9:24.
Owens loads up the apron powerbomb but Samoa Joe comes out big staredown, sending Kevin running to end the show.
Results
Emma b. Bayley Emma Lock
Blake/Murphy b. Elias Samson/Mike Rallis Frog splash to Samson
Finn Balor b. Tye Dillinger Coup de Grace
Kevin Owens b. Solomon Crowe Pop up powerbomb
Thursday
Sheamus will play Rocksteady in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2.
TNA has re-signed Bram and the Wolves.
Smackdown
Date: May 28, 2015
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler
I've been saying this too often lately but it's the go home show for a pay per view. The big stories going into this Sunday are the two Elimination Chamber matches as well as the World Title match between champion Seth Rollins and challenger Dean Ambrose. They haven't really had time to put together a great story so I'm assuming tonight is going to have some hard selling. Or some lame matches that keep everything where it was coming out of Raw. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here's Dean Ambrose to recap the arrest angle from Raw that magically ended right before the show went off the air because that's how wrestling works these days and the words TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED! are all four letters long now. Ambrose was sitting in his cell and thought he had one person to call: Roman Reigns. He asked Reigns to buy him some time so he could figure out a way out of the cell.
The help he needed came from WWE's Youtube channel because it was clear that Rollins shoved the cameraman into him. That was more than enough to clear his name and since he's been in a lot of metropolitan jails in this country, it only took some pictures and autographs to get a police escort to back to the arena on time. Tonight there's a rematch of Raw's tag match, but this Sunday there's going to be a fight for the finest prize in this industry. Stupid story on Monday aside, this was a good promo that got to the point for Sunday.
Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Lucha Dragons
The other four teams in the Chamber match are lumberjacks. Cara and Kidd get things going with Tyson bouncing off the ropes (upside down that is) to counter a wristlock into an armdrag to send Cara to the floor. Cesaro comes in off a blind tag for a European uppercut into a German suplex from his partner followed by a half crab to slow Sin down. That goes about as far as a half crab can go so it's off to Kalisto, who is launched into the air for a hurricanrana, sending Cesaro outside.
Back in and Kalisto tries a springboard cross body, only to be caught in a vertical suplex. Cesaro doesn't put him down though as he walks Kalisto around the ring, tags Kidd in and points to him for about ten seconds as Kidd goes up top for a cross body. The announcers completely undersell this freakish display of strength but it was amazing to see. Sin is quickly tagged in to throw Kidd outside for a but Los Matadores throw him back in without doing anything.
Tyson tries a monkey flip but Kalisto dives through Kidd's legs, lands on his hands and backflips into a headscissors of his own. Dang this guy is good. We take a break and come back with Kalisto fighting out of Cesaro's chinlock but being thrown to the floor. The Players don't get in any cheap shots before throwing him back in for a double tag to Kidd and Cara. Tyson makes a blind tag and tosses Sin into the corner for the running European uppercuts. Cara comes back with the La Mistica mat slam for two and Kalisto's corkscrew crossbody gets the same.
That's enough flipping for Cesaro as he just muscles Kalisto over with something like a belly to belly, setting up Kidd's springboard elbow for two more. Kalisto kicks Kidd in the head but Cesaro slides in with a headbutt for the save. That looked cool as he just slid in and let his head hit Kalisto.
Kidd reverses a hurricanrana into the Sharpshooter but Cara springboards in with a clothesline to break it up. Everything breaks down and Cesaro superkicks Kalisto, only to be backdropped onto a bunch of the lumberjacks. With his partner down, Kidd is distracted by Woods, setting up the Salida Del Sol to give Kalisto the pin at 13:19.
Rollins runs his mouth to Kane about Ambrose, prompting Noble to go into a story about his aunt hearing voices and being crazy, but her cobbler was good. The looks from everyone in the room are rather amusing. Kane is looking forward to having fun in the tag match tonight and promises a plan to make sure Rollins has nothing to worry about on Sunday.
R-Truth vs. King Barrett
Barrett kicks him right in the face to start and slugs Truth in the face for two. We're already in the chinlock before Barrett's kick to the ribs in the corner gets two more. Back up and Truth ducks the Bull Hammer and hits Little Jimmy for the completely clean pin at 2:26. Such is the life for someone like Barrett. I know the line is that no one remembers individual wins and losses (which I don't agree with for the most part) but they certainly do remember loss after loss after loss after loss.
Sheamus comes out and Brogue Kicks both guys.
We recap Lana and Rusev's big spat from Monday. The less said about this the better.
Lana seems sad about having to leave Rusev but she's happier with Dolph. Rusev comes up and says he doesn't need to throw another fit because he's already had his way with Ziggler. Whatever Lana and Dolph do, it doesn't bother him. If Ziggler has to suffer because of Lana, so be it. This was much better from Rusev as he was more condescending than pitiful.
Rusev vs. Ryback
Well, it's a few months later but at least we get to see it. Ryback grabs a waistlock to start but Rusev counters into a headlock. The Bulgarian's shoulders have no effect so Ryback lifts him up for a delayed vertical suplex for two. Ryback pounds on him with some forearms but a big clothesline changes control. Rusev slowly kicks Ryback around the ring but he gets distracted by a WE WANT LANA chant. There's a decent story in there if they can find a better way of presenting it.
A backdrop sends Rusev to the floor (probably where he injured his leg) but he's still able to hit the fallaway slam as we go to a break. Back with Rusev limping around before putting on a chinlock. They slug it out and Rusev hobbles from rope to rope. He can put very little weight on it and falls down when trying to slide out of a powerslam. Rusev posts him a few times and that's a DQ at 11:56, which was probably going home quickly due to the injury.
Quick recap of Paige vs. Naomi.
Paige vs. Naomi
Naomi throws some leg kicks to start so Paige shoves her into the corner for forearms to the jaw. Some knees to the chest send Naomi to the floor, because THIS IS MY HOUSE! From the floor, Naomi sends the arm into the post and starts working over the arm in the corner. Ignore the fact that it's not the arm she sent into the post but at least she's trying. Paige comes back with some clotheslines and a kick to Tamina before catching a cross body in midair and countering it into the Rampaige for the pin at 3:12.
The Bellas come to the stage to pose.
Tough Enough package.
Michael Cole brings Kevin Owens to the ring for a chat. Owens cuts Cole off when he says that Kevin has been in WWE for two years because he's been around the world for fifteen years. Now he can be on the WWE Network for just $9.99. He knows Cena's numbers: fifteen World Titles, two Royal Rumble, fifty seven different t-shirt designs and over a thousand ways to suck.
Cole asks about Cena saying Owens has to finish the fight on Sunday so Owens shows us a clip of him destroying Sami Zayn at Takeover last week. If he'll do that to his best friend, what will he do to John Cena? Just watch Sunday and you'll see it first hand. After you do that, you'll see that the champ is here.
Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns vs. Kane/Seth Rollins
Rematch from Raw. Ambrose passes by Owens on his way to the ring and doesn't pay him a bit of attention. Rollins gets in a cheap shot on Reigns to start, allowing Kane to get the early advantage. Seth quickly comes in and stomps Roman down in the corner where he sits on his chest for an odd choice of offense. It's back to Kane who gets suplexed down for the tag to Ambrose as we're still in the first minute.
Reigns and Ambrose chases them to the floor and we take a break. Back with Rollins tagging in Kane to keep Ambrose in trouble. We hit the nerve hold on Ambrose for a bit before Kane pulls him off the middle rope for a big crash. Dean gets beaten down in the corner even more and Rollins hits a running back elbow for two. Back to the reverse chinlock for a bit until Dean fights back and takes out the Stooges, only to have to break up a Rollins superplex attempt.
A tornado DDT plants Kane and that's enough for the hot tag to Reigns. Kane blocks a Superman Punch like he always blocks a Superman Punch, but Dean takes him down with the standing top rope elbow. A rollup by Rollins is countered into a powerbomb but Seth slips out, only to eat the Superman Punch, drawing in the Stooges for the DQ at 12:03.
Ambrose and Reigns clean house until the New Day of all people come out to beat on Ambrose, only to have Reigns hit his big over the top rope dive to take everyone out. Woods eats Dirty Deeds and Kofi gets Superman Punched out of the air. Kane and Rollins get back in though and Rollins Pedigrees Ambrose to end the show.
Results
Lucha Dragons b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd Salida Del Sol to Kidd
R-Truth b. King Barrett Little Jimmy
Ryback b. Rusev via DQ when Rusev sent Ryback into the post
Paige b. Naomi Rampaige
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Kane/Seth Rollins via DQ when Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble interfered
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 25, 2015
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield
It's Memorial Day and also the last Raw before Elimination Chamber. The two Chamber matches are set and we also have the World Title match ready to go, leaving just the details to be added to the matches to make things fully ready. There's also the issue of Owens powerbombing Cena last week and standing on his US Title. Let's get to it.
We open with the traditional salute to the veterans who have passed away serving their country. In the arena, we have a moment of silence and a ten bell salute. WWE always does a great job with these things.
Here's the Authority in full to open things up. After a look at the ending to last week's show, Seth talks about Ambrose coercing the Authority into giving him a title at Elimination Chamber last week. That's not how the Authority operates because it's not best for business. Therefore, couldn't the Authority just take away the title match or fire Ambrose right now? Well they could and they considered it, but Rollins asked them not to.
HHH has a contract ready for Ambrose to sign so here's Dean to the stage. Dean thinks there might be something wrong with him because he's been having trouble sleeping lately. He's tried counting sheep but he would rather count the times he punches Rollins in the face. It's the closest thing to happiness he can have and that's what he got last week. He always enjoys beating Seth up, but next time he wants it to be for the World Title.
Once he becomes the new face of the WWE, there are going to be some changes. The Stooges can go barefoot like some respectable hobbits and Kane can just wear a collar like the lapdog that he is. That leaves Rollins to drunk dial Selena Gomez like the Justin Bieber that he is.
Rollins shrugs off the Justin Bieber chants by actually defending him, saying the fans all want to be Bieber, just like Ambrose wants to be like Seth. He talks about Ambrose being a loser all his life and asks him to sign so he can lose one more time. Really good back and forth segment here with the Authority just being in the background while it happened. Ambrose comes to the ring but here's Reigns to have his back. Stephanie gets on the mic and says Dean can sign the contract until the end of the show, but until then, it's Reigns/Ambrose vs. Rollins/Kane right now.
Seth Rollins/Kane vs. Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns
Kane slugs Ambrose in the corner to start but Dean punches and chops up against the ropes. Off to Reigns who takes Kane down with a suplex before Rollins comes in to do the same to Ambrose. It's quickly back to Reigns for a Samoan drop on Seth but he goes outside to chase the Stooges off, only to get caught in a chinlock back inside. A lukewarm tag brings in Ambrose for shots in the corner and a clothesline to put Seth outside, setting up the suicide dive. The good guys stand tall and we take a break.
Back with Rollins stopping a Dean comeback and getting some nice applause from the Stooges. A big time clothesline puts Rollins down and the hot tag brings in Reigns. Roman cleans house for a bit until a Kane boot puts him down. That earns him a Superman Punch and the top rope elbow from Dean for two with Rollins making the save. The springboard knee to the head gets two for Seth (that looked good) but an enziguri knocks Dean into the ropes, only to have him bounce back and grab a backslide to pin Rollins at 13:25.
After a break, Ambrose says he'll get the contract signed later in the night. The Stooges come up and say they have the contract but Mercury forgot it. Noble: Well slap me upside my head and call me Sally! Always the gentleman, Ambrose does just that and beats up the two of them before punching a cameraman by mistake. Dean looks upset by what he did to the innocent guy.
Video package on Kevin Owens' career.
The cast of the movie Entourage arrives and don't get much of a reaction.
Rusev vs. R-Truth
Rusev is officially Bulgarian again. Truth gets in a few shots but the Accolade wraps things up in 59 seconds.
Post match Rusev says he and Lana need to talk so please get down here. He stays in the ring waiting for her through a break asking her to come out and talk to him. Come on man. At least have a giant boom box. Lana finally comes out but won't let Rusev hold the ropes open for her. Rusev knows she cares about him, even with all the mistakes she's made and that he makes sure to list off.
It's not her fault though. She's a woman, and all women make mistakes. He talks about the dreams they had back in Bulgaria and asks her to take his hand....which she eventually does. Rusev wants to hear three magical words though: I was wrong. That's too much for Lana though as she shoves his hand away and leaves, saying Rusev quit. Rusev: YOU NEED TO KNOW YOUR PLACE WOMAN! Lana calls him a liar and a quitter. No one earns her, especially Rusev. She leaves yet again and here's Ziggler for another kiss.
So yeah, remember the last year plus of Rusev being a monster who beat Cena by knockout at Fast Lane? Well screw all that because we need to put him in a stupid soap opera style story because EVERYONE is a character like that who needs to have depth and emotions and all that nonsense.
HHH and Rollins come into Ambrose's locker room and have the cameraman say that Ambrose hit him, despite thinking someone pushed him. Dean is arrested (Yeah I've heard this before.) and HHH smiles.
Post break the Stooges laugh at Ambrose as he's taken away.
King Barrett vs. Ryback
Ryback still has bad ribs coming in. Barrett is thrown around to start and planted with an early powerslam but he rolls outside. Ryback follows but takes a hard kick to the ribs to give the King control. Back in and some kicks to the ribs followed by a middle rope elbow get two. Wasteland gets the same as Barrett wisely stays on the ribs. The Bull Hammer takes too long to set up though, allowing Ryback to hit a spinebuster and the Shell Shock for the pin at 3:56.
The cast of Entourage comes in to see the Authority and name drop people cameoing in their movie. They bring up Rhonda Rousey making Stephanie scream at Wrestlemania and are politely asked to leave.
Tough Enough videos.
Stardust vs. Neville
Stephen Amell of Arrow is in the front row. Neville vs. Bo Dallas is official for Sunday. Stardust goes after the bad knee to start as the announcers talk about Stardust and Amell feuding on Twitter. As Stardust puts on a half crab, Bo Dallas slowly walks to the ring to cheer for Neville. Stardust can't hit a superplex as Neville kicks him down and nails a tornado DDT, setting up the Red Arrow (after some slaps to the bad knee to wake it up again) for the pin at 3:19.
Post match Dallas tells him to Bolieve and kicks the knee out again.
The Entourage guys hit on the Total Divas, creating a massive vortex of indifference. Zack Ryder comes up and asks them to come into his dressing room because he has an idea.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus
Cole incorrectly says the Intercontinental Title is the only title Sheamus has never held (Tag Team Titles being the other). Sheamus runs him over to start as the announcers talk about Lana and Rusev. We're already in the chinlock with Sheamus talking a lot of trash at the same time. They head outside with Dolph ramming him into the announcers' table, only to get kicked in the knee back inside.
A Cactus clothesline puts both guys on the floor but Sheamus powerslams him outside, drawing Lana to the stage to watch. Back from a break with Sheamus getting two off a neckbreaker but Ziggler fights up with a bunch of forearms. The Fameasser gets two and Ziggler escapes White Noise and ducks the Brogue Kick. Ziggler's superkick gets two and here comes Rusev to the ring for a distraction, allowing Sheamus to hit the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:20.
Rusev puts on the Accolade to make Ziggler look at Lana. KISS HIM NOW!
It's Open Challenge time. Fans: JOHN CENA SUCKS! Cena to the camera: I guess the remix is still a popular song. Cena says in the last ten years, the WWE Universe can be summed up in five words: Let's go Cena, Cena sucks. He thanks the fans who believe in hustle, loyalty and respect but has to stop for a WE WANT RYDER chant. Those people have had his back for years and he thanks them from the bottom of his heart.
That brings him to the other group of fans, who have been begging for someone to get in this ring and knock him down. Name after name have tried to do just that but all of them have failed. Last week he met Kevin Owens, who broke the internet last week and then broke his best friend Sami Zayn in half.
Maybe that's why the fans think Kevin Owens is the man that can put Cena down for good. This Sunday those fans that chant CENA SUCKS can instead chant FIGHT OWENS FIGHT. Owens can fight all he wants because it doesn't mean WIN OWENS WIN. Last week Cena found out that Owens knows how to start a fight and this Sunday he'll find out if Owens can finish one. That's Sunday though, so let's get to tonight. The Open Challenge starts right now.
Cena is ready and here's the cast of Entourage. Cole: Really? Thankfully they're just here to introduce the man taking the challenge.
US Title: John Cena vs. Zack Ryder
The Entourage cast is at ringside. Some early suplexes get two for Cena to start but Ryder comes back with the middle rope dropkick. Cena avoids the Broski Boot and starts his finishing sequence, only to have one of the Entourage guys get in for a distraction. A quick rollup gets two on Cena but Ryder counters the AA into a Killswitch for two. Now the Broski Boot gets two and the Rough Ryder gets the same. Zack goes up top but misses a 450 of all things, setting up the AA for the pin at 4:05.
Cena, Ryder and the Entourage guys get to pose in the ring for a nice moment. Cena poses on his own but turns around for a Pop Up Powerbomb from Owens, now wearing a FIGHT OWENS FIGHT shirt. Owens stomps on the US Title again for good measure.
The Authority recaps the Ambrose incident.
Now the announcers recap the Ambrose incident.
Tamina vs. Paige
Bellas are on commentary. Tamina knocks her to the floor to start and slaps on a neck crank. A quick rollup gets two for Paige followed by her three clotheslines and a dropkick. Nikki gets in a quick cheap shot though and Tamina's Samoan drop is good for the pin at 3:52.
Here's the New Day to say it's preposterous and ridiculous that they're being persecuted for being positive. No one wants to see them lose their titles! Just ask the WWE Universe! Cue Kane to say that the Chamber is fair, but the following match isn't quite the same.
Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Los Matadores/Lucha Dragons/Prime Time Players/Ascension vs. New Day
10-3 handicap match and joined in progress with......never mind as all ten come in for the big beatdown and the DQ at 49 seconds. Yes, the HEELS are in a big handicap match and were put there by a heel. I guess logic and the Curb Stomp can chill together on the banned list.
We get the big brawl with the Dragons diving on most of the other people at the same time. New Day stands tall, only to have Cesaro and Kidd come in and clean house.
Preview of the preview of the Daniel Bryan documentary airing on the Network tonight.
We get a second angle of Ambrose punching the camerman (from the WWE Youtube channel because of course it is) because Rollins shoved Ambrose into him. This really doesn't change anything as Ambrose still turned around and punched him, but this show is a sitcom instead of a wrestling show.
Here's the Authority for the big stupid ending to this stupid, stupid show. Yeah there's a video, yeah there's evidence saying Ambrose is innocent (he isn't) but there's no time. Therefore....cue Reigns before HHH can say it's too late. The brawl is on, Reigns gets beaten down, Ambrose shows up in the police van and wearing police gear, and the big brawl allows Ambrose to sign just in time. CUE THAT LAUGH TRACK AND END THEME SONG!!!
Results
Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins/Kane Backslide to Rollins
Rusev b. R-Truth Accolade
Ryback b. King Barrett Shell Shock
Neville b. Stardust Red Arrow
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler Brogue Kick
John Cena b. Zack Ryder Attitude Adjustment
New Day b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Los Matadores/Lucha Dragons/Ascension/Prime Time Players via DQ when all ten attacked New Day at the same time
Tuesday
Nothing.
Wednesday
Destination America will be airing Ring of Honor starting June 3 at 8pm. This is the same night Impact Wrestling starts airing at 9pm.
NXT
Date: May 27, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Rich Brennan
It's the week after Takeover: Unstoppable and the main story seems to be Kevin Owens fights everyone at once. After challenging John Cena on Raw, sending Sami Zayn away to get shoulder surgery, possibly putting Hideo Itami on the shelf, attacking Commissioner William Regal and getting a new #1 contender with Samoa Joe, Owens now has to deal with the debuting Samoa Joe. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week, complete with a quick interview with Joe where he says he's coming for the title.
Opening sequence.
Sami Zayn's music opens the show but we get Kevin Owens instead. He was going to issue an NXT Title Open Challenge, but he isn't insecure enough to have to defend his title against anyone every week. The fans sing JOHN CENA SUCKS, but Owens finds it odd that they never say that about Sami Zayn and he sucks too. We won't be seeing Sami again anyway because Owens did exactly what he said he would do at Takeover. The only reason he did that was so he could keep the NXT Title and keep providing for his family, because that's what a good man does.
Another thing a good man did was to let Samoa Joe live last week. A lot of people have said that Joe is gonna kill him, but that's as ridiculous as the colors of John Cena's merchandise. If Joe ever steps in the same ring as Owens again, he'll drop Joe just like that. Speaking of dropping people, that's what he's going to do at Elimination Chamber when he shows John Cena that the champ is here.
This brings out General Manager William Regal, who says Owens is walking a thin line. Owens says Regal put his hands on Owens first, which Regal considers the only reason Owens still works here. Regal lists off all the people who have been taken out on a stretcher since Owens arrived, but Kevin denies being behind Itami's injury. Also, Sami's injuries are on Sami for asking for it and on Regal for making the match.
This brings out.....Solomon Crowe? Solomon heard Owens talking about how he isn't going to fight anyone unless they earn it and that means Kevin is scared. Kevin thinks Solomon has just earned an opportunity, so Regal makes the match. That means you can add Solomon to the list of people he's sent out of here on a stretcher (Riley, Sami, Sami, Sami, and now him.).
Look back at Hideo's arm injury last week.
Hideo says he's had surgery and when he comes back, there will be no stopping him.
We get an interview from last week with Zack Ryder, who was interrupted by Mojo Rawley, who freaked Zack out a little bit.
Emma vs. Bayley
Emma is flanked by Dana Brooke. Bayley gets stomped down in the corner to start and Emma cranks on an armbar, only to have Bayley throw her to the mat and just pound away with right hands. A kick to the face gets two near falls for Emma as the fans are of course completely behind Bayley. Emma throws her down by the hair a few times and grabs a leg drag, followed by the Emma Lock for the clean submission at 4:13.
Charlotte comes out for the post match save but gets beaten down as well.
Recap of Baron Corbin beating Rhyno last week.
Baron was being interviewed after his win last week when Rhyno came up and said they should do it again soon.
We see Becky Lynch's career retrospective from last week with new footage of her match with Sasha last week.
Elias Samson/Mike Rallis vs. Blake/Murphy
Non-title and Alexa Bliss is with the champs. Blake and Rallis get things going with Mike taking a quick beating. It's off to Murphy for a slingshot hilo and a chinlock as the champs continue to dismantle Rallis. Mike finally rolls over for a hot tag, bringing in Elias for some dropkicks. That lasts all of ten seconds before the running brainbuster into the frog splash is enough for the pin on Samson at 3:15.
Samson takes a Sparkle Splash for some insult to injury.
Post break, Bliss says she gravitated to the team because they're all winners. Compare this to Carmella, who is famous for being from a garbage dump like Long Island. Next week, that's where Bliss is sending her.
Tye Dillinger vs. Finn Balor
Dillinger scores with a quick elbow to the face but Balor smiles at him. Some choking with a boot in the corner has some more effect on Finn and we hit the chinlock. Balor comes back with a running forearm and basement dropkick, followed by the Sling Blade. The Coup de Grace completes the squash for Finn at 2:45.
Jason Jordan says he's found the perfect partner when Chad Gable comes up, saying it has to be him. Gable lists off his qualifications but Jordan says he already has a partner. He also says the wrong name so Gable throws him a towel with his name on it.
Kevin Owens vs. Solomon Crowe
Non-title. Owens bails to the floor so Solomon goes after him, only to eat some right hands to the face. Back in and Owens throws him outside again and we take a break. We come back with Owens putting on a chinlock. That gets boring in a hurry so Owens just hammers him down and tosses Solomon back to the floor. The pop-up powerbomb finally ends Crowe at 9:24.
Owens loads up the apron powerbomb but Samoa Joe comes out big staredown, sending Kevin running to end the show.
Results
Emma b. Bayley Emma Lock
Blake/Murphy b. Elias Samson/Mike Rallis Frog splash to Samson
Finn Balor b. Tye Dillinger Coup de Grace
Kevin Owens b. Solomon Crowe Pop up powerbomb
Thursday
Sheamus will play Rocksteady in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2.
TNA has re-signed Bram and the Wolves.
Smackdown
Date: May 28, 2015
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler
I've been saying this too often lately but it's the go home show for a pay per view. The big stories going into this Sunday are the two Elimination Chamber matches as well as the World Title match between champion Seth Rollins and challenger Dean Ambrose. They haven't really had time to put together a great story so I'm assuming tonight is going to have some hard selling. Or some lame matches that keep everything where it was coming out of Raw. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here's Dean Ambrose to recap the arrest angle from Raw that magically ended right before the show went off the air because that's how wrestling works these days and the words TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED! are all four letters long now. Ambrose was sitting in his cell and thought he had one person to call: Roman Reigns. He asked Reigns to buy him some time so he could figure out a way out of the cell.
The help he needed came from WWE's Youtube channel because it was clear that Rollins shoved the cameraman into him. That was more than enough to clear his name and since he's been in a lot of metropolitan jails in this country, it only took some pictures and autographs to get a police escort to back to the arena on time. Tonight there's a rematch of Raw's tag match, but this Sunday there's going to be a fight for the finest prize in this industry. Stupid story on Monday aside, this was a good promo that got to the point for Sunday.
Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Lucha Dragons
The other four teams in the Chamber match are lumberjacks. Cara and Kidd get things going with Tyson bouncing off the ropes (upside down that is) to counter a wristlock into an armdrag to send Cara to the floor. Cesaro comes in off a blind tag for a European uppercut into a German suplex from his partner followed by a half crab to slow Sin down. That goes about as far as a half crab can go so it's off to Kalisto, who is launched into the air for a hurricanrana, sending Cesaro outside.
Back in and Kalisto tries a springboard cross body, only to be caught in a vertical suplex. Cesaro doesn't put him down though as he walks Kalisto around the ring, tags Kidd in and points to him for about ten seconds as Kidd goes up top for a cross body. The announcers completely undersell this freakish display of strength but it was amazing to see. Sin is quickly tagged in to throw Kidd outside for a but Los Matadores throw him back in without doing anything.
Tyson tries a monkey flip but Kalisto dives through Kidd's legs, lands on his hands and backflips into a headscissors of his own. Dang this guy is good. We take a break and come back with Kalisto fighting out of Cesaro's chinlock but being thrown to the floor. The Players don't get in any cheap shots before throwing him back in for a double tag to Kidd and Cara. Tyson makes a blind tag and tosses Sin into the corner for the running European uppercuts. Cara comes back with the La Mistica mat slam for two and Kalisto's corkscrew crossbody gets the same.
That's enough flipping for Cesaro as he just muscles Kalisto over with something like a belly to belly, setting up Kidd's springboard elbow for two more. Kalisto kicks Kidd in the head but Cesaro slides in with a headbutt for the save. That looked cool as he just slid in and let his head hit Kalisto.
Kidd reverses a hurricanrana into the Sharpshooter but Cara springboards in with a clothesline to break it up. Everything breaks down and Cesaro superkicks Kalisto, only to be backdropped onto a bunch of the lumberjacks. With his partner down, Kidd is distracted by Woods, setting up the Salida Del Sol to give Kalisto the pin at 13:19.
Rollins runs his mouth to Kane about Ambrose, prompting Noble to go into a story about his aunt hearing voices and being crazy, but her cobbler was good. The looks from everyone in the room are rather amusing. Kane is looking forward to having fun in the tag match tonight and promises a plan to make sure Rollins has nothing to worry about on Sunday.
R-Truth vs. King Barrett
Barrett kicks him right in the face to start and slugs Truth in the face for two. We're already in the chinlock before Barrett's kick to the ribs in the corner gets two more. Back up and Truth ducks the Bull Hammer and hits Little Jimmy for the completely clean pin at 2:26. Such is the life for someone like Barrett. I know the line is that no one remembers individual wins and losses (which I don't agree with for the most part) but they certainly do remember loss after loss after loss after loss.
Sheamus comes out and Brogue Kicks both guys.
We recap Lana and Rusev's big spat from Monday. The less said about this the better.
Lana seems sad about having to leave Rusev but she's happier with Dolph. Rusev comes up and says he doesn't need to throw another fit because he's already had his way with Ziggler. Whatever Lana and Dolph do, it doesn't bother him. If Ziggler has to suffer because of Lana, so be it. This was much better from Rusev as he was more condescending than pitiful.
Rusev vs. Ryback
Well, it's a few months later but at least we get to see it. Ryback grabs a waistlock to start but Rusev counters into a headlock. The Bulgarian's shoulders have no effect so Ryback lifts him up for a delayed vertical suplex for two. Ryback pounds on him with some forearms but a big clothesline changes control. Rusev slowly kicks Ryback around the ring but he gets distracted by a WE WANT LANA chant. There's a decent story in there if they can find a better way of presenting it.
A backdrop sends Rusev to the floor (probably where he injured his leg) but he's still able to hit the fallaway slam as we go to a break. Back with Rusev limping around before putting on a chinlock. They slug it out and Rusev hobbles from rope to rope. He can put very little weight on it and falls down when trying to slide out of a powerslam. Rusev posts him a few times and that's a DQ at 11:56, which was probably going home quickly due to the injury.
Quick recap of Paige vs. Naomi.
Paige vs. Naomi
Naomi throws some leg kicks to start so Paige shoves her into the corner for forearms to the jaw. Some knees to the chest send Naomi to the floor, because THIS IS MY HOUSE! From the floor, Naomi sends the arm into the post and starts working over the arm in the corner. Ignore the fact that it's not the arm she sent into the post but at least she's trying. Paige comes back with some clotheslines and a kick to Tamina before catching a cross body in midair and countering it into the Rampaige for the pin at 3:12.
The Bellas come to the stage to pose.
Tough Enough package.
Michael Cole brings Kevin Owens to the ring for a chat. Owens cuts Cole off when he says that Kevin has been in WWE for two years because he's been around the world for fifteen years. Now he can be on the WWE Network for just $9.99. He knows Cena's numbers: fifteen World Titles, two Royal Rumble, fifty seven different t-shirt designs and over a thousand ways to suck.
Cole asks about Cena saying Owens has to finish the fight on Sunday so Owens shows us a clip of him destroying Sami Zayn at Takeover last week. If he'll do that to his best friend, what will he do to John Cena? Just watch Sunday and you'll see it first hand. After you do that, you'll see that the champ is here.
Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns vs. Kane/Seth Rollins
Rematch from Raw. Ambrose passes by Owens on his way to the ring and doesn't pay him a bit of attention. Rollins gets in a cheap shot on Reigns to start, allowing Kane to get the early advantage. Seth quickly comes in and stomps Roman down in the corner where he sits on his chest for an odd choice of offense. It's back to Kane who gets suplexed down for the tag to Ambrose as we're still in the first minute.
Reigns and Ambrose chases them to the floor and we take a break. Back with Rollins tagging in Kane to keep Ambrose in trouble. We hit the nerve hold on Ambrose for a bit before Kane pulls him off the middle rope for a big crash. Dean gets beaten down in the corner even more and Rollins hits a running back elbow for two. Back to the reverse chinlock for a bit until Dean fights back and takes out the Stooges, only to have to break up a Rollins superplex attempt.
A tornado DDT plants Kane and that's enough for the hot tag to Reigns. Kane blocks a Superman Punch like he always blocks a Superman Punch, but Dean takes him down with the standing top rope elbow. A rollup by Rollins is countered into a powerbomb but Seth slips out, only to eat the Superman Punch, drawing in the Stooges for the DQ at 12:03.
Ambrose and Reigns clean house until the New Day of all people come out to beat on Ambrose, only to have Reigns hit his big over the top rope dive to take everyone out. Woods eats Dirty Deeds and Kofi gets Superman Punched out of the air. Kane and Rollins get back in though and Rollins Pedigrees Ambrose to end the show.
Results
Lucha Dragons b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd Salida Del Sol to Kidd
R-Truth b. King Barrett Little Jimmy
Ryback b. Rusev via DQ when Rusev sent Ryback into the post
Paige b. Naomi Rampaige
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Kane/Seth Rollins via DQ when Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble interfered