klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Bragging Rights will now be called Uprising. Well thats better than the whole Survivor Series match a month before Survivor Series.
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 16, 2011
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
Its the final Raw before the Over the Limit PPV and we have our main event in the form of Cena vs. Miz for the title. Other than that there isnt a ton here so well likely fill out the rest of the card tonight for the red show. Over the Limit feels like a filler PPV which is rarely a good thing. Hopefully Raw gives me a reason to not think that after tonight. Lets get to it.
Theme song opens us up.
Heres Cena but before he can say anything Riley pops up on the stage. Riley says he knows what Cena is going to say and introduces a video of Miz beating on Cena. Heres Miz -who looks weird without the title. Riley talks about how everyone has underestimated Miz. Theyre in the ring now and Cena isnt pleased. We get some classic cheap heat on the San Antonio Spurs for choking.
Cena cracks some jokes and implies Miz is a kid/stupid and then turns serious. He talks about how Miz has proven everyone wrong, but on Sunday he wont be saying hes awesome. Hell be saying he quits. An E-Mail says that Miz can pick Cenas opponent and the stipulation for tonight but it cant involve Miz or Riley. Miz isnt sure yet on either option.
Kofi Kingston vs. CM Punk
Im not sure if this is a step up for Kofi or a step down for Punk. Punk takes over to start -and tells Nexus to stay at the top of the ramp. Kofi sends him to the floor and they come down, only to have Punk send them back again. Punk fires off some elbows to the chest for two. Knee drop gets the same. He tries to go up top but Kofi gets a kick to the side of the head and the champ takes over.
That HUGE cross body gets two and New Nexus is looking worried. Boom Drop hits despite Kofi running around for about 8 seconds beforehand. He keeps looking at Nexus and misses Trouble in Paradise. GTS cant hit but Kofi misses his jump in the corner. Theres the GTS and Punk gets the totally clean pin at 3:56.
Punk says that was just the beginning and Nexus will become the most dominant force in WWE history.
Miz is talking to Ziggler and Vickie about possibly facing Cena I assume.
Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly
Non-title again. We talk about the Divas on Twitter because thats about all there is to talk about. Kelly does her gymnast stuff as we keep talking about Twitter. The Twins cheat a bit and Brie works on a chinlock. Kelly spanks her a bit and a quick rollup/pinning combination ends this at 1:56.
Post match the Bellas beat down the blonde and its Kharma time. HUGE pop for the music coming on too. Kelly is out in the corner and Kharma goes after her, only to have a Bella hit Kharma in the back. Implant Buster to the other one. We do get the terrified Kelly eyes and Kharma picks her up by the jaw. She flicks Kelly in the head, laughs, and leaves.
Miz talks to Big Show and gets cut off.
Thats What I Am ad.
Heres Rey to address the situation with R-Truth from last week. He says that he wants to prove to Truth that he had no business being in last weeks main event or any for that matter. Hes still waiting as we go to a break. Back and instead its Alberto coming out to see Rey. He talks about how hes a pure blooded Mexican unlike Rey. Rey says hes proud to be a Chicano and an American. If Truth isnt here, then he has no problem shutting Albertos mouth instead.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio
They start off very fast with Rey getting a kick to the chest and moving out of the way of a charging Alberto. Codebreaker to the arm out of the corner as we take another break. Back with more arm work by Alberto and Rey cant quite fight back. Alberto puts on an armbar. Make that a LONG armbar.
Rey starts his comeback and heres R-Truth up in the rafters. He wants the cops to be called as theres a thief here as Rey stole his title shot. Alberto doesnt take the chance to jump Rey or anything so once Truth shuts up Rey keeps the advantage. He speeds things up a bit more and its 619 time, but Ricardo grabs Rey for the CHEAP DQ at 9:34 total.
The heels beat Rey down a bit more post match, working on the arm. Truth runs in after they leave and beats him down even more, saying that on Sunday Rey is going to get got. The mask is almost off Rey at this point when Truth leaves.
Miz recruits Punk and Mason Ryan.
Time for the contract signing for Cole and Lawler. Lawler agrees that if Cole wins Cole gets the HOF ring and if it ever happens, Lawler will induct Cole into the Hall of Fame. Cole signs immediately as does Lawler. Michael is all happy about it and it turns out that Sunday is a Kiss My Foot match. We get a clip of Ross being forced to kiss Coles feet last month and also a clip from the Kiss My Foot match against Bret Hart where Lawler was made to kiss Brets feet and then his own also.
Cole puts his disgusting foot on the table and Lawler says shut up. That was Bret Hart and Cole is no Bret Hart. Hes not even a Jack Swagger. Cole runs his mouth off, talking about how no one remembers Swagger being a former world champion and the only reason Swagger was on Wrestlemania was because of Cole. Swagger isnt happy with this and says hes all yours King before leaving. Cole tries to make nice with Jerry and gets slammed down by the tie again. On Sunday, Jerry is going to put his foot in Coles mouth and close it. Cole is crying as the segment ends.
Miz is talking to Kane when Big Show comes up. Kane leaves while Miz is still talking and the tag champs face Nexus next.
Cole is all annoyed now.
Big Show/Kane vs. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga
Kane vs. McGillicutty to start us off and that goes badly for Genesis dude (NXT 2 reference if you didnt watch the show). Does that make Kane Nintendo Boy? Big Show comes in and the Nexus actually manages to take him down. Cole keeps apologizing for the tiniest things that tick Jerry off now which is a nice touch. The non-champs work on Shows leg as Punk runs his mouth a lot.
Show actually uses some nice leg work to get out of the hold but Otunga stops the tag. Show gets a belly to back suplex to put both guys down and theres the tag to Kane. Otungas boots look like the ones Swagger usually wears. Kane beats up both guys but heres Ryan in for the ..not DQ as he doesnt get any contact in. Show takes him down on the floor and its chokeslam time. Punk gets a kick to the back of the head and the McGillicutter ends Kane at 4:50.
Truth is Mizs latest recruit. As long as they dont have another match I have zero issues there.
We run down the Over the Limit card to fill in some time.
Kane and Show say the loss means nothing. Theres a title match on Sunday against Nexus apparently.
Cena is up next and he runs into Ryder again.
Miz comes out and picks a no holds barred match. Cena comes out to fight and is jumped by Jack Swagger, who is the opponent.
John Cena vs. Jack Swagger
Swagger starts off in control as Cole says this is why Swagger abandoned him. Cena tries to fight back but Swagger takes him down and adds a leg drop. The dueling Cena chants begin and Swagger adds a suplex. Vader Bomb hits as we take a break. Back and we see that Cena tried to fight back during the break on the floor but was rammed into the post. Also Swagger got a shot in with the computer.
Back in the ring and Swagger gets a chair shot to the back and Cena is in big trouble. Vader Bomb onto the chair gets two only as the fans are getting back into this. Jack wedges the chair between the top and middle rope but here comes Cena. Never mind as he gets caught in something resembling a half belly to belly/half spinebuster for two.
Ankle lock goes on but Cena rolls through and avoids a charging Swagger, sending him head first into the chair. Cena starts the finishing sequence and with a look at Miz, the Attitude Adjustment sets up the STF for the tap out at 11:30 total. Better match than I was expecting.
Miz lists off various ways he could make Cena quit on Sunday, suck as dropping Cena off the stage, slamming a camera into Cena as he's against the stage (which he actually does, getting a big crack as it hits the stage) or he could find something under the ring to use on Cena. Alex finds a pipe which he hands to Miz who climbs the stairs.
Miz says he won't use any of those things because there are a million ways to beat Cena which Cena hasn't thought of yet. He says he's going to find a way to make Cena quit that Cena has never seen before. Cena looks a tiny bit worried/scared here. Miz won't use the pipe Sunday, but he will tonight. Riley provides the distraction and Miz gets a shot in but Cena fights back and takes down Miz, standing tall to end the show. Cena says Miz is going to need the million he has and a million more, because at Over the Limit Miz is going to say I Quit. Staredown ends the show.
Results
CM Punk b. Kofi Kingston GTS
Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella Cradle
Rey Mysterio b. Alberto Del Rio via disqualification when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty b. Kane/Big Show McGillicutter to Kane
John Cena b. Jack Swagger STF
Tuesday
Smackdown got a 1.72, down very slightly from last week.
Raw got a 3.1, down again.
NXT
Date: May 17, 2011
Location: American Bank Center Arena Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal
FINALLY, its the 11th week of the show and its time for the first elimination in this series. This isnt an interesting show in the slightest and its not helping at all that the guys out there are rather boring indeed. Hopefully OBrian goes home tonight, which likely means itll be him vs. Novak in the final two because theyre the most bland out of all these guys. If you dont believe that thats what it takes to win here, just ask Johnny Curtis. Lets get to it.
Naturally we open with a recap of the season and a voiceover saying it ends here for someone. Theyre still wild and young apparently.
Darren Young vs. Titus ONeil
No Horny still so Titus shouts WHERE IS HE. Young knows apparently but hes being a meanie and wont tell. No Chavo either. Did anyone check under the ring? Young takes him down as he takes advantage of the big mans emotions. Titus takes over with power but takes a boot to the face after a two count. Titus takes over again and we cut to the back with Chavo pounding on a box with chains on it, saying Horny is inside and needs help getting out. He goes to get tools and Titus runs to the back to help and its a count out at 3:15. Barely a match so no rating as about 30 seconds was footage from the back.
Titus gets Horny out, apparently knowing the back of the arena that well. Chavo jumps him with a weapon of some kind and pulls Horny off by the beard. Chavo shouts about remembering what Horny did to him and we go back to the arena where Young is still in the ring. Young holds him down and Horny takes a Frog Splash. Titus runs out for the save.
Thats What I Am ad. You know, before the anti-bullying organization they started I kind of wanted to see it. Now I want to hang a kid from a flag pole and berate him until he loses all conscious thought while taking his lunch money.
Horny has been taken to the hospital and Titus went with him. Thats devotion to a leprechaun if Ive ever seen it.
Package on Cena vs. Miz at the PPV. This, as usual, takes far too much time.
Yoshi Tatsu vs. Byron Saxton
I love how Yoshi is just listed as being from Japan. Not a city, not a part of it, just Japan. They go to the corner to start as Regal wont say who he thinks is going home but theres an implication that its Novak. They chop it out and Tatsu is all ticked off. Arm drags commence and theres the armbar by Yoshi. Shining Wizard misses and here comes Saxton as the crowd goes silent. Tatsu fights back with ease and fires off some kicks for two. Yoshi goes up top and a spinwheel kick ends this clean at 3:30. Its as abrupt as it sounds.
Striker brings out Maryse who looks great in a blue dress. She and her awesome boobs bring out Kozlov and OBrian to talk about their bet with JTG and Novak. Here are Novak and JTG appropriately enough. Regal blasts both guys the entire time which is kind of amusing. This is the finale of the bet which is which pro can make their rookie the most like their pro. The audience is the judge as always. Novak declares the crowd haters and bashes Regal a bit. Novak raps a bit while JTG runs his mouth a lot. For this bet its 6:30 because theyve won hands down. Regals reaction to this is priceless.
Vlad and OBrian do some mostly synchronized dancing and some sambo/martial arts stuff. Boards are broken. Now what did those boards ever do to them? Someone get the arbor foundation or whatever tree lovers are called! Usually I would say this is as dumb as it sounds, but its actually dumber. Naturally the dancing men that make Bruce Lee turn over and cover his eyes in his grave win. JTG tries to jump Vlad and dang it were getting a match.
JTG vs. Vladimir Kozlov
This is joined in progress with JTG slapping Vlad, only to get suplexed as Vlad gets his Magnum TA on. Well at least its not a tag match so we dont have to watch the rookies fight. JTG gets sent to the floor and yells at Regal, only to get taken back to the ring by Vlad. Now Kozlov is sent to the floor as Regal talks about being in charge of the Ruthless (formerly Regal) Roundtable. JTG takes over and sits on the arm as he hammers away. Thats rather smart actually and not something you often see a guy do.
Modified X-Factor out of the corner by JTG which is called a Mug Shot. Why is it that a majority of black wrestlers all have the character of thugs, jocks or savages? Not saying theyve done anything wrong mind you, but rather that theyre stereotyped so badly its unreal. Vlad makes his comeback but gets caught in a neckbreaker to take him down. A headbutt to the chest as JTG comes off the middle rope takes him down and a modified spinebuster ends JTG at 5:20.
Yoshi comes up to Maryse in the back and she talks about the stuff Cannon got her. Yoshi breaks up with her and Maryse is like whatever. Cannon pops up and promises her a shopping spree in this rather pointless segment.
Jacob Novak is gone first. THANK GOODNESS! Now get OBrian out and this show is downright watchable. He says the usual Ill be back thing. JTG rants to the fans as well.
Results
Darren Young b. Titus ONeil via countout
Yoshi Tatsu b. Byron Saxton Spinwheel kick from the top rope
Vladimir Kozlov b. JTG Spinebuster
Jacob Novak was eliminated in 6th place
Wednesday
Nothing of note for a change this week.
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: May 19, 2011
Location: Impact Wrestling Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Back From The Dead
Its the first show of a new era this week as WRESTLING MATTERS apparently. It should be very interesting to see how the show has changed in this new world of the company emphasizing wrestling. Also its time for the fallout from Sacrifice which should be interesting as we have Slammiversary set with Sting vs. Anderson for the title. Lot to get to tonight so lets get to it.
We open with a recap of Angle/Chyna vs. the Jarretts on Sunday as well as the main event with some quick soundbytes from the winners.
Theres a new intro and color scheme as its now blue and a silver/gray. The arena looks different too and its a nice change.
Heres Immortal to open the show minus Jarrett or Hogan. Bischoff says he and Hogan should be credited for all of the changes. He runs down Foley, saying if it had been his decision it would have been Thumbtacks Matter instead of Wrestling. Hogan and Foley are in New York apparently having meetings. Immortal is in charge tonight and theyll take care of anyone that gets in their way tonight.
Heres Kendrick and the X guys, including Gen Me and Amazing Red. Kendrick says that its odd to see a non-wrestler complaining about wrestlers get in his way. Kendrick runs Bischoff down, talking about how hes leeched off this business forever through backstabbing and phony friends. Oh and Bully is fat.
Bischoff meets them in the aisle and says tonight the X Division is ending. Kazarian is going to defend the X-Division Title against Abyss. Red is going to get Joe and Generation Me, who are no longer fighting it seems, get Matt Hardy .and Bischoff. He even calls them vanilla midgets. Kendrick wants a match too, so Bischoff slaps him in the head and the brawl is on.
Fourtune minus AJ comes out and its the big brawl of the week. The good guys seem to stand tall but the fight continues in the aisle. Theyre not done yet as Flair throws the jacket and they start it up again. The X Guys hit dives on Immortal and the fight continues. This has been going for a few minutes now so its a rather extended brawl. They get split up and Flair says he wants to talk to Roode later tonight.
Sarita/Rosita/Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher/Tara
Mexican America comes out for commentary on this. Rosita vs. Mickie to start us off as we go split screen to see the commentators. I mention this because the new logo/scheme has what looks like blue flames or smoke and they were rapidly moving on the split screen so it was a bit disctracting. Anyway the evildoers take over with some triple teaming but Mickie manages to tag in Tara to fight Madison. Instead Madison runs and brings in Sarita.
Tessmacher comes in and continues to only be worth her looks. For some reason she runs into the corer of Mexican America to hit the ropes so she gets tripled teamed also. Madison runs from Tara some more so Tara beats up Rosita a bit. Everything breaks down and Tara almost gets to Madison, only to send Rosita into Tara who ends Rosita with a chokebomb at 4:05.
Sting is here in his old tights and gear apparently but we only see his legs.
X-Division Title: Abyss vs. Kazarian
Bischoff gives Abyss a pep talk before the match, basically saying kill him and also quoting Sun Tzu. Power vs. speed since the beginning as the announcers talk about how this could be the last X Division Title match ever if Abyss wins the belt. Abyss takes him down with power and cranks on the neck but Kaz fights back, only to walk into a chokeslam attempt. That doesnt work and Kaz gets a springboard dropkick to take Abyss down.
Kaz cranks things up with a rana, an elbow and a legdrop, all off the ropes and resulting in a two count. Chokeslam is countered again into a victory roll for two but Kaz gets caught in Shock Treatment to shift the momentum right back to Abyss. Vader Bomb totally misses and may have hurt his knee. Kaz charges into a big boot as Abyss was apparently faking and the Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the only title hes never won at 5:05. Tazz says the internet is burning up because of that. Abyss quotes Sun Tzu post match.
Gunner wants his belt back.
Samoa Joe vs. Amazing Red
Red looks scared but charges anyway, only to get slammed straight down and hammered in the corner. Red gets in a shot or two and it means nothing at all. Musclebuster and were done in 47 seconds.
Joe beats on Red post match until Crimson comes down for the save. Are he and Red still brothers?
Heres AJ who is in a neck brace and wants to talk to Tommy Dreamer. Heres Dreamer in sunglasses. Apparently Storm has a concussion from the brawl earlier. AJ is in the brace for a few weeks because of the Piledriver on Sunday. AJ says that this is about Dreamer wanting to have a contract and how hes there against his will. Dreamer interprets this as AJ saying Dreamer cant beat him.
Dreamer talks about how hes a veteran that doesnt have anything handed to him and drills Dreamer, saying he sold out and that AJ is as worthless as all these fans that always want more. The fight is on and AJs neck goes out again until Daniels comes out for the save. Dreamer and Daniels brawl but Bully Ray comes out and drills AJ with the chain clothesline and Daniels is taken down by a low blow from Dreamer and a big boot from Ray. AJ takes another Piledriver from Dreamer as we go to a break.
A fan says hes excited.
Sting says his focus is Hogan and Bischoff still. Hes in his traditional gear here.
The original Sting is seen from the back, making Tenay call shenanigans.
Heres Kurt who says hes in a much better mood because Karen is gone thanks to Chyna. Karen has a broken ankle apparently but Chyna isnt here tonight. Angle vs. Jarrett again at Slammiversary in a #1 contenders match according to Foley it seems. Here comes Jeff who says that this is one last time but he wants to know why Kurt gets the shot at all. Karen shouldnt be blamed apparently and it should all be on Kurt. Jeff never got distracted because hes better than Kurt. Naturally theres going to be a stipulation for the match at the PPV: if Jeff wins, he gets the gold medal.
They shake on it but Jeffs music hits again. Karen pops up through the stage like Angle does in a wheelchair. She runs her mouth and Velvet Sky pops up behind her. Velvet shoves Karen down the ramp and she crashes into Jeff, falling out of the chair. Velvets music plays as the Jarretts regroup.
Gen Me says blood is thicker than water and theyre united tonight.
Bischoff gets a call from Hogan and tells him about the match tonight. Apparently Hogan was successful in New York.
Back and the Jarretts complain some more. Apparently Velvet faces Winter and Angelina tonight.
Generation Me vs. Matt Hardy/Eric Bischoff
No entrance for Gen Me. Matt vs. Jeremy to start us off and Matt uses his size advantage to take over. Gen Me speeds things up as is their custom and work on Matts arm. Matt takes
over for a bit but since its more or less a handicap match, Gen Me takes over again with double teaming. Poetry in Motion to Matt and Jeremy takes him down with a spear.
Matt fights back but both guys do down. Matt wants a tag and Bischoff freaks, allowing Jeremy to hit a frog splash to Matts back for two. 450 attempt eats knees as were told that Foley and Hogan will be here next week. Ice Pick, that double underhook chokeout by Matt has Max out cold so Bischoff comes in for a kick and the academic pin at 6:07.
Angelina is still in a trance and Winter has candles everywhere. She says that itll be like it was before and kisses Angelina incredibly gently as theyre up next.
Angelina Love/Winter vs. Velvet Sky
Winter starts but Angelina is tagged in almost immediately. Angelina still cant be hurt apparently as she shoves Velvet into the corner and brings Winter back in. Kick to the back gets two for Velvet. Next week Angle and Jeff will be in the ring and pick each others opponents. Jeff picked RVD apparently. Velvet fights them both off and puts a chinlock on Angelina which gets her nowhere for the most part.
Angelina takes her down with a clothesline and next week its AJ/Daniels vs. Ray/Dreamer. The implied lesbians tag in and out a lot and Velvet is in trouble. Winter gets a spinning backbreaker and Angelina is brought back in again. She moves all slowly and gets rolled up by Sky in a small package for the pin at 4:30.
Post match ODB returns and beats up Velvet for no apparent reason.
Tessmacher is doing a photo shoot but Eric is the photographer and doesnt have a camera. He shows her how to do this by stripping down to his boxers and posing. Gunner pops up and Eric wants to talk about respect. Gunner hammers on him and leaves as Young says good job of working together bro.
Heres Flair to call out Robert Roode. Flair is ticked off about giving up to end Lethal Lockdown. Roode says that was a war, not a wrestling match. Flair says if the shoe was on the other foot, Roode would have been put out of wrestling. Flair rants about mentoring Beer Money and how to be a man outside the ring also when it comes to getting drunk and getting laid. Roode is going to be a man long after Flair leaves and that its now his time, not Flairs. Flair has changed colors in a matter of seconds.
Flair wants Roode to break his shoulder again right now and Roode says its over. Flair says it isnt and slaps Roode. Roode grabs him and throws on the armbar again but here comes Immortal. Remember that all of Fourtune has been taken out tonight already. They get him down with relative ease and Ray whips him with the chain. Ray tells Abyss to get two chairs and they do something similar to hammering a nail into Roodes arm, probably breaking it.
Sting and Old Sting are up next.
Here comes Sting, as in the real Sting. He says that he wants to praise RVD and that he got by on the skin of his teeth last Sunday. His focus is still on Hogan and Bischoff and taking power from them. Less than sixty seconds after he won on Sunday here was Anderson to jump him. There go the lights and of course its Anderson in the old school attire. He gets a bat shot and a Death Drop to Sting to end the show.
Results
Tara/Miss Tessmacher/Mickie James b. Rosita/Sarita/Madison Rayne Tara pinned Rosita after a Chokebomb
Abyss b. Kazarian Black Hole Slam
Samoa Joe b. Amazing Red Musclebuster
Eric Bischoff/Matt Hardy b. Generation Me Bischoff pinned Max Buck after a kick to the head
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Winter Small Package to Love
Bragging Rights will now be called Uprising. Well thats better than the whole Survivor Series match a month before Survivor Series.
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 16, 2011
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
Its the final Raw before the Over the Limit PPV and we have our main event in the form of Cena vs. Miz for the title. Other than that there isnt a ton here so well likely fill out the rest of the card tonight for the red show. Over the Limit feels like a filler PPV which is rarely a good thing. Hopefully Raw gives me a reason to not think that after tonight. Lets get to it.
Theme song opens us up.
Heres Cena but before he can say anything Riley pops up on the stage. Riley says he knows what Cena is going to say and introduces a video of Miz beating on Cena. Heres Miz -who looks weird without the title. Riley talks about how everyone has underestimated Miz. Theyre in the ring now and Cena isnt pleased. We get some classic cheap heat on the San Antonio Spurs for choking.
Cena cracks some jokes and implies Miz is a kid/stupid and then turns serious. He talks about how Miz has proven everyone wrong, but on Sunday he wont be saying hes awesome. Hell be saying he quits. An E-Mail says that Miz can pick Cenas opponent and the stipulation for tonight but it cant involve Miz or Riley. Miz isnt sure yet on either option.
Kofi Kingston vs. CM Punk
Im not sure if this is a step up for Kofi or a step down for Punk. Punk takes over to start -and tells Nexus to stay at the top of the ramp. Kofi sends him to the floor and they come down, only to have Punk send them back again. Punk fires off some elbows to the chest for two. Knee drop gets the same. He tries to go up top but Kofi gets a kick to the side of the head and the champ takes over.
That HUGE cross body gets two and New Nexus is looking worried. Boom Drop hits despite Kofi running around for about 8 seconds beforehand. He keeps looking at Nexus and misses Trouble in Paradise. GTS cant hit but Kofi misses his jump in the corner. Theres the GTS and Punk gets the totally clean pin at 3:56.
Punk says that was just the beginning and Nexus will become the most dominant force in WWE history.
Miz is talking to Ziggler and Vickie about possibly facing Cena I assume.
Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly
Non-title again. We talk about the Divas on Twitter because thats about all there is to talk about. Kelly does her gymnast stuff as we keep talking about Twitter. The Twins cheat a bit and Brie works on a chinlock. Kelly spanks her a bit and a quick rollup/pinning combination ends this at 1:56.
Post match the Bellas beat down the blonde and its Kharma time. HUGE pop for the music coming on too. Kelly is out in the corner and Kharma goes after her, only to have a Bella hit Kharma in the back. Implant Buster to the other one. We do get the terrified Kelly eyes and Kharma picks her up by the jaw. She flicks Kelly in the head, laughs, and leaves.
Miz talks to Big Show and gets cut off.
Thats What I Am ad.
Heres Rey to address the situation with R-Truth from last week. He says that he wants to prove to Truth that he had no business being in last weeks main event or any for that matter. Hes still waiting as we go to a break. Back and instead its Alberto coming out to see Rey. He talks about how hes a pure blooded Mexican unlike Rey. Rey says hes proud to be a Chicano and an American. If Truth isnt here, then he has no problem shutting Albertos mouth instead.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio
They start off very fast with Rey getting a kick to the chest and moving out of the way of a charging Alberto. Codebreaker to the arm out of the corner as we take another break. Back with more arm work by Alberto and Rey cant quite fight back. Alberto puts on an armbar. Make that a LONG armbar.
Rey starts his comeback and heres R-Truth up in the rafters. He wants the cops to be called as theres a thief here as Rey stole his title shot. Alberto doesnt take the chance to jump Rey or anything so once Truth shuts up Rey keeps the advantage. He speeds things up a bit more and its 619 time, but Ricardo grabs Rey for the CHEAP DQ at 9:34 total.
The heels beat Rey down a bit more post match, working on the arm. Truth runs in after they leave and beats him down even more, saying that on Sunday Rey is going to get got. The mask is almost off Rey at this point when Truth leaves.
Miz recruits Punk and Mason Ryan.
Time for the contract signing for Cole and Lawler. Lawler agrees that if Cole wins Cole gets the HOF ring and if it ever happens, Lawler will induct Cole into the Hall of Fame. Cole signs immediately as does Lawler. Michael is all happy about it and it turns out that Sunday is a Kiss My Foot match. We get a clip of Ross being forced to kiss Coles feet last month and also a clip from the Kiss My Foot match against Bret Hart where Lawler was made to kiss Brets feet and then his own also.
Cole puts his disgusting foot on the table and Lawler says shut up. That was Bret Hart and Cole is no Bret Hart. Hes not even a Jack Swagger. Cole runs his mouth off, talking about how no one remembers Swagger being a former world champion and the only reason Swagger was on Wrestlemania was because of Cole. Swagger isnt happy with this and says hes all yours King before leaving. Cole tries to make nice with Jerry and gets slammed down by the tie again. On Sunday, Jerry is going to put his foot in Coles mouth and close it. Cole is crying as the segment ends.
Miz is talking to Kane when Big Show comes up. Kane leaves while Miz is still talking and the tag champs face Nexus next.
Cole is all annoyed now.
Big Show/Kane vs. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga
Kane vs. McGillicutty to start us off and that goes badly for Genesis dude (NXT 2 reference if you didnt watch the show). Does that make Kane Nintendo Boy? Big Show comes in and the Nexus actually manages to take him down. Cole keeps apologizing for the tiniest things that tick Jerry off now which is a nice touch. The non-champs work on Shows leg as Punk runs his mouth a lot.
Show actually uses some nice leg work to get out of the hold but Otunga stops the tag. Show gets a belly to back suplex to put both guys down and theres the tag to Kane. Otungas boots look like the ones Swagger usually wears. Kane beats up both guys but heres Ryan in for the ..not DQ as he doesnt get any contact in. Show takes him down on the floor and its chokeslam time. Punk gets a kick to the back of the head and the McGillicutter ends Kane at 4:50.
Truth is Mizs latest recruit. As long as they dont have another match I have zero issues there.
We run down the Over the Limit card to fill in some time.
Kane and Show say the loss means nothing. Theres a title match on Sunday against Nexus apparently.
Cena is up next and he runs into Ryder again.
Miz comes out and picks a no holds barred match. Cena comes out to fight and is jumped by Jack Swagger, who is the opponent.
John Cena vs. Jack Swagger
Swagger starts off in control as Cole says this is why Swagger abandoned him. Cena tries to fight back but Swagger takes him down and adds a leg drop. The dueling Cena chants begin and Swagger adds a suplex. Vader Bomb hits as we take a break. Back and we see that Cena tried to fight back during the break on the floor but was rammed into the post. Also Swagger got a shot in with the computer.
Back in the ring and Swagger gets a chair shot to the back and Cena is in big trouble. Vader Bomb onto the chair gets two only as the fans are getting back into this. Jack wedges the chair between the top and middle rope but here comes Cena. Never mind as he gets caught in something resembling a half belly to belly/half spinebuster for two.
Ankle lock goes on but Cena rolls through and avoids a charging Swagger, sending him head first into the chair. Cena starts the finishing sequence and with a look at Miz, the Attitude Adjustment sets up the STF for the tap out at 11:30 total. Better match than I was expecting.
Miz lists off various ways he could make Cena quit on Sunday, suck as dropping Cena off the stage, slamming a camera into Cena as he's against the stage (which he actually does, getting a big crack as it hits the stage) or he could find something under the ring to use on Cena. Alex finds a pipe which he hands to Miz who climbs the stairs.
Miz says he won't use any of those things because there are a million ways to beat Cena which Cena hasn't thought of yet. He says he's going to find a way to make Cena quit that Cena has never seen before. Cena looks a tiny bit worried/scared here. Miz won't use the pipe Sunday, but he will tonight. Riley provides the distraction and Miz gets a shot in but Cena fights back and takes down Miz, standing tall to end the show. Cena says Miz is going to need the million he has and a million more, because at Over the Limit Miz is going to say I Quit. Staredown ends the show.
Results
CM Punk b. Kofi Kingston GTS
Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella Cradle
Rey Mysterio b. Alberto Del Rio via disqualification when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty b. Kane/Big Show McGillicutter to Kane
John Cena b. Jack Swagger STF
Tuesday
Smackdown got a 1.72, down very slightly from last week.
Raw got a 3.1, down again.
NXT
Date: May 17, 2011
Location: American Bank Center Arena Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal
FINALLY, its the 11th week of the show and its time for the first elimination in this series. This isnt an interesting show in the slightest and its not helping at all that the guys out there are rather boring indeed. Hopefully OBrian goes home tonight, which likely means itll be him vs. Novak in the final two because theyre the most bland out of all these guys. If you dont believe that thats what it takes to win here, just ask Johnny Curtis. Lets get to it.
Naturally we open with a recap of the season and a voiceover saying it ends here for someone. Theyre still wild and young apparently.
Darren Young vs. Titus ONeil
No Horny still so Titus shouts WHERE IS HE. Young knows apparently but hes being a meanie and wont tell. No Chavo either. Did anyone check under the ring? Young takes him down as he takes advantage of the big mans emotions. Titus takes over with power but takes a boot to the face after a two count. Titus takes over again and we cut to the back with Chavo pounding on a box with chains on it, saying Horny is inside and needs help getting out. He goes to get tools and Titus runs to the back to help and its a count out at 3:15. Barely a match so no rating as about 30 seconds was footage from the back.
Titus gets Horny out, apparently knowing the back of the arena that well. Chavo jumps him with a weapon of some kind and pulls Horny off by the beard. Chavo shouts about remembering what Horny did to him and we go back to the arena where Young is still in the ring. Young holds him down and Horny takes a Frog Splash. Titus runs out for the save.
Thats What I Am ad. You know, before the anti-bullying organization they started I kind of wanted to see it. Now I want to hang a kid from a flag pole and berate him until he loses all conscious thought while taking his lunch money.
Horny has been taken to the hospital and Titus went with him. Thats devotion to a leprechaun if Ive ever seen it.
Package on Cena vs. Miz at the PPV. This, as usual, takes far too much time.
Yoshi Tatsu vs. Byron Saxton
I love how Yoshi is just listed as being from Japan. Not a city, not a part of it, just Japan. They go to the corner to start as Regal wont say who he thinks is going home but theres an implication that its Novak. They chop it out and Tatsu is all ticked off. Arm drags commence and theres the armbar by Yoshi. Shining Wizard misses and here comes Saxton as the crowd goes silent. Tatsu fights back with ease and fires off some kicks for two. Yoshi goes up top and a spinwheel kick ends this clean at 3:30. Its as abrupt as it sounds.
Striker brings out Maryse who looks great in a blue dress. She and her awesome boobs bring out Kozlov and OBrian to talk about their bet with JTG and Novak. Here are Novak and JTG appropriately enough. Regal blasts both guys the entire time which is kind of amusing. This is the finale of the bet which is which pro can make their rookie the most like their pro. The audience is the judge as always. Novak declares the crowd haters and bashes Regal a bit. Novak raps a bit while JTG runs his mouth a lot. For this bet its 6:30 because theyve won hands down. Regals reaction to this is priceless.
Vlad and OBrian do some mostly synchronized dancing and some sambo/martial arts stuff. Boards are broken. Now what did those boards ever do to them? Someone get the arbor foundation or whatever tree lovers are called! Usually I would say this is as dumb as it sounds, but its actually dumber. Naturally the dancing men that make Bruce Lee turn over and cover his eyes in his grave win. JTG tries to jump Vlad and dang it were getting a match.
JTG vs. Vladimir Kozlov
This is joined in progress with JTG slapping Vlad, only to get suplexed as Vlad gets his Magnum TA on. Well at least its not a tag match so we dont have to watch the rookies fight. JTG gets sent to the floor and yells at Regal, only to get taken back to the ring by Vlad. Now Kozlov is sent to the floor as Regal talks about being in charge of the Ruthless (formerly Regal) Roundtable. JTG takes over and sits on the arm as he hammers away. Thats rather smart actually and not something you often see a guy do.
Modified X-Factor out of the corner by JTG which is called a Mug Shot. Why is it that a majority of black wrestlers all have the character of thugs, jocks or savages? Not saying theyve done anything wrong mind you, but rather that theyre stereotyped so badly its unreal. Vlad makes his comeback but gets caught in a neckbreaker to take him down. A headbutt to the chest as JTG comes off the middle rope takes him down and a modified spinebuster ends JTG at 5:20.
Yoshi comes up to Maryse in the back and she talks about the stuff Cannon got her. Yoshi breaks up with her and Maryse is like whatever. Cannon pops up and promises her a shopping spree in this rather pointless segment.
Jacob Novak is gone first. THANK GOODNESS! Now get OBrian out and this show is downright watchable. He says the usual Ill be back thing. JTG rants to the fans as well.
Results
Darren Young b. Titus ONeil via countout
Yoshi Tatsu b. Byron Saxton Spinwheel kick from the top rope
Vladimir Kozlov b. JTG Spinebuster
Jacob Novak was eliminated in 6th place
Wednesday
Nothing of note for a change this week.
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: May 19, 2011
Location: Impact Wrestling Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Back From The Dead
Its the first show of a new era this week as WRESTLING MATTERS apparently. It should be very interesting to see how the show has changed in this new world of the company emphasizing wrestling. Also its time for the fallout from Sacrifice which should be interesting as we have Slammiversary set with Sting vs. Anderson for the title. Lot to get to tonight so lets get to it.
We open with a recap of Angle/Chyna vs. the Jarretts on Sunday as well as the main event with some quick soundbytes from the winners.
Theres a new intro and color scheme as its now blue and a silver/gray. The arena looks different too and its a nice change.
Heres Immortal to open the show minus Jarrett or Hogan. Bischoff says he and Hogan should be credited for all of the changes. He runs down Foley, saying if it had been his decision it would have been Thumbtacks Matter instead of Wrestling. Hogan and Foley are in New York apparently having meetings. Immortal is in charge tonight and theyll take care of anyone that gets in their way tonight.
Heres Kendrick and the X guys, including Gen Me and Amazing Red. Kendrick says that its odd to see a non-wrestler complaining about wrestlers get in his way. Kendrick runs Bischoff down, talking about how hes leeched off this business forever through backstabbing and phony friends. Oh and Bully is fat.
Bischoff meets them in the aisle and says tonight the X Division is ending. Kazarian is going to defend the X-Division Title against Abyss. Red is going to get Joe and Generation Me, who are no longer fighting it seems, get Matt Hardy .and Bischoff. He even calls them vanilla midgets. Kendrick wants a match too, so Bischoff slaps him in the head and the brawl is on.
Fourtune minus AJ comes out and its the big brawl of the week. The good guys seem to stand tall but the fight continues in the aisle. Theyre not done yet as Flair throws the jacket and they start it up again. The X Guys hit dives on Immortal and the fight continues. This has been going for a few minutes now so its a rather extended brawl. They get split up and Flair says he wants to talk to Roode later tonight.
Sarita/Rosita/Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher/Tara
Mexican America comes out for commentary on this. Rosita vs. Mickie to start us off as we go split screen to see the commentators. I mention this because the new logo/scheme has what looks like blue flames or smoke and they were rapidly moving on the split screen so it was a bit disctracting. Anyway the evildoers take over with some triple teaming but Mickie manages to tag in Tara to fight Madison. Instead Madison runs and brings in Sarita.
Tessmacher comes in and continues to only be worth her looks. For some reason she runs into the corer of Mexican America to hit the ropes so she gets tripled teamed also. Madison runs from Tara some more so Tara beats up Rosita a bit. Everything breaks down and Tara almost gets to Madison, only to send Rosita into Tara who ends Rosita with a chokebomb at 4:05.
Sting is here in his old tights and gear apparently but we only see his legs.
X-Division Title: Abyss vs. Kazarian
Bischoff gives Abyss a pep talk before the match, basically saying kill him and also quoting Sun Tzu. Power vs. speed since the beginning as the announcers talk about how this could be the last X Division Title match ever if Abyss wins the belt. Abyss takes him down with power and cranks on the neck but Kaz fights back, only to walk into a chokeslam attempt. That doesnt work and Kaz gets a springboard dropkick to take Abyss down.
Kaz cranks things up with a rana, an elbow and a legdrop, all off the ropes and resulting in a two count. Chokeslam is countered again into a victory roll for two but Kaz gets caught in Shock Treatment to shift the momentum right back to Abyss. Vader Bomb totally misses and may have hurt his knee. Kaz charges into a big boot as Abyss was apparently faking and the Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the only title hes never won at 5:05. Tazz says the internet is burning up because of that. Abyss quotes Sun Tzu post match.
Gunner wants his belt back.
Samoa Joe vs. Amazing Red
Red looks scared but charges anyway, only to get slammed straight down and hammered in the corner. Red gets in a shot or two and it means nothing at all. Musclebuster and were done in 47 seconds.
Joe beats on Red post match until Crimson comes down for the save. Are he and Red still brothers?
Heres AJ who is in a neck brace and wants to talk to Tommy Dreamer. Heres Dreamer in sunglasses. Apparently Storm has a concussion from the brawl earlier. AJ is in the brace for a few weeks because of the Piledriver on Sunday. AJ says that this is about Dreamer wanting to have a contract and how hes there against his will. Dreamer interprets this as AJ saying Dreamer cant beat him.
Dreamer talks about how hes a veteran that doesnt have anything handed to him and drills Dreamer, saying he sold out and that AJ is as worthless as all these fans that always want more. The fight is on and AJs neck goes out again until Daniels comes out for the save. Dreamer and Daniels brawl but Bully Ray comes out and drills AJ with the chain clothesline and Daniels is taken down by a low blow from Dreamer and a big boot from Ray. AJ takes another Piledriver from Dreamer as we go to a break.
A fan says hes excited.
Sting says his focus is Hogan and Bischoff still. Hes in his traditional gear here.
The original Sting is seen from the back, making Tenay call shenanigans.
Heres Kurt who says hes in a much better mood because Karen is gone thanks to Chyna. Karen has a broken ankle apparently but Chyna isnt here tonight. Angle vs. Jarrett again at Slammiversary in a #1 contenders match according to Foley it seems. Here comes Jeff who says that this is one last time but he wants to know why Kurt gets the shot at all. Karen shouldnt be blamed apparently and it should all be on Kurt. Jeff never got distracted because hes better than Kurt. Naturally theres going to be a stipulation for the match at the PPV: if Jeff wins, he gets the gold medal.
They shake on it but Jeffs music hits again. Karen pops up through the stage like Angle does in a wheelchair. She runs her mouth and Velvet Sky pops up behind her. Velvet shoves Karen down the ramp and she crashes into Jeff, falling out of the chair. Velvets music plays as the Jarretts regroup.
Gen Me says blood is thicker than water and theyre united tonight.
Bischoff gets a call from Hogan and tells him about the match tonight. Apparently Hogan was successful in New York.
Back and the Jarretts complain some more. Apparently Velvet faces Winter and Angelina tonight.
Generation Me vs. Matt Hardy/Eric Bischoff
No entrance for Gen Me. Matt vs. Jeremy to start us off and Matt uses his size advantage to take over. Gen Me speeds things up as is their custom and work on Matts arm. Matt takes
over for a bit but since its more or less a handicap match, Gen Me takes over again with double teaming. Poetry in Motion to Matt and Jeremy takes him down with a spear.
Matt fights back but both guys do down. Matt wants a tag and Bischoff freaks, allowing Jeremy to hit a frog splash to Matts back for two. 450 attempt eats knees as were told that Foley and Hogan will be here next week. Ice Pick, that double underhook chokeout by Matt has Max out cold so Bischoff comes in for a kick and the academic pin at 6:07.
Angelina is still in a trance and Winter has candles everywhere. She says that itll be like it was before and kisses Angelina incredibly gently as theyre up next.
Angelina Love/Winter vs. Velvet Sky
Winter starts but Angelina is tagged in almost immediately. Angelina still cant be hurt apparently as she shoves Velvet into the corner and brings Winter back in. Kick to the back gets two for Velvet. Next week Angle and Jeff will be in the ring and pick each others opponents. Jeff picked RVD apparently. Velvet fights them both off and puts a chinlock on Angelina which gets her nowhere for the most part.
Angelina takes her down with a clothesline and next week its AJ/Daniels vs. Ray/Dreamer. The implied lesbians tag in and out a lot and Velvet is in trouble. Winter gets a spinning backbreaker and Angelina is brought back in again. She moves all slowly and gets rolled up by Sky in a small package for the pin at 4:30.
Post match ODB returns and beats up Velvet for no apparent reason.
Tessmacher is doing a photo shoot but Eric is the photographer and doesnt have a camera. He shows her how to do this by stripping down to his boxers and posing. Gunner pops up and Eric wants to talk about respect. Gunner hammers on him and leaves as Young says good job of working together bro.
Heres Flair to call out Robert Roode. Flair is ticked off about giving up to end Lethal Lockdown. Roode says that was a war, not a wrestling match. Flair says if the shoe was on the other foot, Roode would have been put out of wrestling. Flair rants about mentoring Beer Money and how to be a man outside the ring also when it comes to getting drunk and getting laid. Roode is going to be a man long after Flair leaves and that its now his time, not Flairs. Flair has changed colors in a matter of seconds.
Flair wants Roode to break his shoulder again right now and Roode says its over. Flair says it isnt and slaps Roode. Roode grabs him and throws on the armbar again but here comes Immortal. Remember that all of Fourtune has been taken out tonight already. They get him down with relative ease and Ray whips him with the chain. Ray tells Abyss to get two chairs and they do something similar to hammering a nail into Roodes arm, probably breaking it.
Sting and Old Sting are up next.
Here comes Sting, as in the real Sting. He says that he wants to praise RVD and that he got by on the skin of his teeth last Sunday. His focus is still on Hogan and Bischoff and taking power from them. Less than sixty seconds after he won on Sunday here was Anderson to jump him. There go the lights and of course its Anderson in the old school attire. He gets a bat shot and a Death Drop to Sting to end the show.
Results
Tara/Miss Tessmacher/Mickie James b. Rosita/Sarita/Madison Rayne Tara pinned Rosita after a Chokebomb
Abyss b. Kazarian Black Hole Slam
Samoa Joe b. Amazing Red Musclebuster
Eric Bischoff/Matt Hardy b. Generation Me Bischoff pinned Max Buck after a kick to the head
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Winter Small Package to Love