klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Friday
Randy Savage died in a car wreck after having a heart attack while driving. I have no idea what to say about that.
Impact got a 1.2, down from last week. Not a good sign coming off a PPV.
Remember when I said Bragging Rights was going to be called Uprising? Scratch that as now its Vengeance. PICK A FREAKING NAME ALREADY!!! Scratch that. PICK A NAME AND STICK WITH IT FOR MORE THAN A WEEK!!!
Smackdown
Date: May 20, 2011
Location: American Bank Center Arena Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
We have one more show before Over the Limit and this is it. I wouldnt expect much tonight other than a final push to the PPV as the card seems to be mostly set already. Orton and Christian will likely have some more interaction tonight but other than that I dont know of anything thats likely to happen. Anyway, lets get to it.
Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine at the moment is a bad cough that Ive had all week.
Orton vs. Henry tonight.
Christian vs. Sheamus
We get an old school inset promo from Sheamus as he comes to the ring where he says it took Christian 15 years to win a world title and it took him two months. Rather true actually. Sheamus uses power to take over early and Christian is in trouble. Christian manages to send the pale dude to the floor but gets caught by a shoulder through the ropes.
Christian speeds things up as we hit the floor. And never mind as we go back into the ring and Sheamus shoves him off the top to the floor and we take a break. Back with Sheamus getting a powerslam for two. Off to a chinlock by Sheamus as they rest a bit. Reverse DDT gets two for Christian as does a cross body. Middle rope elbow looks to set up the Killswitch but Christian walks into the Irish Curse for two.
Tornado DDT by Christian as this is a rather nice TV match so far. That only gets two though because regular moves cant get pins remember? Finishers only. Sheamus is knocked to the apron and hits a slingshot shoulder block to get two as well. And scratch what I said about finishers only as Christian grabs a small package for the pin at 8:43 shown on 12:13.
Henry comes out for the double beatdown post match. Orton comes out very slowly for the save but watches a bit first. So Orton is a voyeur now?
Long video on Miz vs. Cena on Sunday.
We run down the rest of the card for Sunday to fill in more time. Brie Bella is defending against Kelly Kelly apparently.
Speaking of the Bellas theyre in the back and Grisham asks them about the beatdown on Monday from Kharma. Brie is asked why she let Nikki get beaten down and they get in an argument about why they let each other get beaten down. They agree that they would have done the same thing in each others place so this is totally pointless.
Natalya vs. Brie Bella
Non-title here as I guess Natalya is now just there to fill in a space. Booker rambles on about biscuits and butter and Kharma as even Josh laughs at how out there he sounds. Natalya takes her down with relative ease and gets two. What looks like a Boston Crab cant go on so Brie takes over, working on the arm. Discus lariat gets two for Natalya as this is a rather boring match with the fans totally dead. Delayed vertical suplex gets no cover. Brie sends her shoulder first into the corner and gets a horrible looking X-Factor for the pin at 3:01.
We talk about Big Zeke getting thrown out of Corre and hell be here next.
Heres Jackson who says he came to SD to write a new chapter in the Book of Ezekiel. He joined the Corre to make an impact and talks about how Corre took over. Not really but well go with that. He wants to know if Corre needed him or if he needed Corre. The last two weeks hes taken a beating but they cant break him. Hes not going to sleep until theyve all suffered.
Here comes Corre for the beatdown but Teddy interrupts them and makes a six man tag.
Corre vs. Ezekiel Jackson/Kane/Big Show
Slater is in tights now instead of trunks. Show starts for the Bald Brotherhood to face Gabriel. The title match on Sunday is against Ryan and Punk. Why would it be against them when McGillicutty and Otunga beat the champions? Why am I trying to make sense of this? Kane comes in as this has been one sided so far. Off to Slater whose luck is about the same. Booker wants to step outside with Cole. I guess hes afraid to cross the street and needs Cole to hold his hand.
Barrett gets the tag and is rather skeptical to face Kane so he gets Jackson instead. Barrett beats him down but cant suplex him. Jackson clotheslines him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Jackson running over Gabriel and its off to Big Show. Showstopper (standing leg drop if I remember the name correctly) puts Gabriel down as does something resembling a superkick.
Back to Jackson as the beating continues. Totally one sided so far. Barrett comes in and has the best luck so he tags out to Slater immediately. Jackson runs over Slater now and Kane adds the top rope clothesline. Sidewalk slam gets two but Barrett pulls the top rope down to send Kane to the floor. Corre takes over as Slater throws on a chinlock which gets him nowhere.
Kane suplexes his way out of it but Barrett stops the tag. Double big boot puts both guys down and its back off to Slater again. Big uppercut puts Heath down and a double tag brings in Gabriel and Jackson. All Big Zeke here but everything breaks down quickly. Jackson slams Gabriel about four times and a torture rack (love that move for Jackson) ends this at 8:10 shown of 11:40.
Christian suggests we look at some tape from earlier which is Orton taking his time getting down there for the save. Hes going to be 100% on Sunday.
This isnt from the show but as Im reviewing this news broke that Randy Savage died in a car wreck. That completely blew me away and I have no idea what to even think about it. Sad indeed.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Daniel Bryan
Pre match Chavo says that he brought Sin Cara here and how hes going to beat Bryan in five minutes as opposed to the fifteen it took Cara to do it last week. Chavo vs. Cara is confirmed for the PPV. Theres a countdown clock on screen for this. First minute passes with nothing more than basic stuff. Bryan gets a dropkick and drop toehold to take over. Chavo gets his feet up in the corner to get two with 3:25 to go.
Booker and Cole get into it again as has become a tradition on Fridays anymore. Chavo locks in a reverse chinlock which doesnt last long. They exchange rollups and things speed up a bit with about two minutes to go. Here come the kicks and its LeBell Lock time. He cant quite get it on so he hits the floor with a minute left. Big dive to the floor takes Chavo out and the missile dropkick misses with thirty five seconds left. Chavo goes with Three Amigos with very little time left. Frog Splash only gets two and the clock runs out at 5:00.
Chavo throws him to the floor post match and Sin Cara comes out for the save, hitting a rana to send Chavo to the floor.
Heres Cody with Ted for the paper bag thing. PLEASE tell me theyre not reforming Legacy and messing up Codys push for the sake of a weak tag team. Cody gets a bag especially for Ted who doesnt want to put it on but does anyway. It turns out to be a joke for the sake of making fun of Corpus Christi as Ted speaks in a bad Mexican accent. The fans boo and Cody yells at them to put the bags on. Ted takes the bag off and says bring out his opponent.
Ted DiBiase vs. Trent Barreta
Ted hammers him back into the corner as I think we have a squash on our hands here. Apparently Cody called Ted a shrub or something, meaning his career has fallen apart. Trent takes Ted down with a standing Swanton for two. Enziguri has Ted staggering but a tornado DDT is countered into a sitout powerbomb. Dream Street ends this clean in 1:25 for no rating of course. Trent gets paper bagged post match.
Great Khali vs. Jey Uso
What do you think is going to happen here? No Singh with Khali here. Jey tries to get some kicks in but Khali throws him around. A dropkick sends Khali into the corner and heres Jinder Mahal to yell at Khali some more. Khali goes to the floor to stare him down and almost gets counted out because of it. Back in the chop and Khali Bomb ends this at 2:05. Total squash for all intents and purposes. Someone, perhaps Jimmy Uso, comes in and gets chopped also as he checks on Jey.
Apparently Christian said hell be 100%. Orton says thats not going to be enough.
Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry
Henry takes him back into the corner to start and the power game takes over rather quickly. The less orange than usual Orton is sent to the floor and the beating continues. Back in and Orton gets a few shots in and a dropkick sends Henry to the floor. Back with another dropkick doing the same. It was one of those commercials where nothing changed so Im not adding the time to the clock.
Back in and Henry gets a powerslam for no cover as Booker freaks out. Oh theres the cover but there was a delay in between. Henry shouts that he owns Orton. I wonder if he sees fried chicken when he looks at Orton. Off to an armbar because when you think big, strong, mad, ticked off Texan, you think armbar. Orton hits the rope and runs over Henry and adds some knee drops to take over.
The Garvin Stomp begins as it amazes me that hes stealing stuff from Ronnie Freaking Garvin. Dude, were there no Kansas Jayhawk moves available? Henry hits the floor to avoids the RKO but gets caught in position for the elevated DDT. And never mind as heres Sheamus for the DQ at 5:45.
Christian does the same thing that Orton did earlier and waits a bit on the stage before coming in for the save. Randy is all ticked off about the delay but Christian is like dude I was having an awesome game of Parcheesi with Corre. Anyway the monsters come in again and get beaten down. RKO to Henry sets up a handshake to end the show.
Results
Christian b. Sheamus Small Package
Brie Bella b. Natalya Faceplant
Ezekiel Jackson/Kane/Big Show b. Corre Torture Rack to Gabriel
Daniel Bryan vs. Chavo Guerrero went to a time limit draw
Ted DiBiase b. Trent Barreta Dream Street
Randy Orton b. Mark Henry via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Saturday
ROH has been sold to a TV company and will be on in some markets in the fall. Not a huge deal but the ROH fanboys sure want it to be.
Sunday
Randy Savages autopsy results are inconclusive, meaning theyre not sure if it was the medical thing that killed him or the crash. They did a toxicology report to check for alcohol or drugs but neither are thought to have been a factor. Id assume thats standard operating procedure though.
Over the Limit 2011
Date: May 22, 2011
Location: KeyArena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole
Its Over the Limit again which was a totally worthless show last year which is about what Im expecting this year. The main event is Miz vs. Cena in an I Quit match while on the other side you have Christian vs. Orton in their rematch. The first match was good so this should be as well with more time and some experience to work with. All in all though it looks weak but Ive been wrong before. Lets get to it.
Theres a graphic saying in memory of Randy Savage to open us up. Certainly better than nothing.
The opening video is about what the human body is capable of when its pushed over the limit. Not bad but a bit basic. Then again there isnt much you can do with a theme like Over the Limit.
Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth
Truth just has the one line to start his lack of music now. The Truth is that its all about parking lots. He got here today and didnt have a parking spot so he had to park with the rest of the fans in the rain. Its a conspiracy and while hes danced and pranced for all of the Little Jimmys, its gotten him nowhere. He doesnt play games like Rey Mysterio who wears that toy mask. Hes taking Reys spot and thats the Truth.
There are cars on the stage like last year. One is a Mustang and I cant tell on the other one. Lawler points out how stupid it is to be worried about a parking space when you have a match on PPV. Leave it to the veterans to make sense. Booker says Truth should have changed his attitude a long time ago. Is Booker a subtle heel commentator and Im just missing it?
Rey makes Truth madder and manages to send him to the floor where a hurricanrana from the apron takes him down. Truth, in his purple shoes, takes over by hammering Rey in the corner. That gets him nowhere as Rey outmoves him of course. Cole quotes a Kid Rock song from 2002 by saying it aint bragging if you do it and you back it up as Rey is sent to the floor.
Truth keeps stopping Rey when he tries to get something going, including hitting a sitout gordbuster for two. Lawler seems like he has a cold and Cole makes fun of him for it of course. Rey makes a comeback and gets a middle rope bulldog for two. As in Truth was on the middle rope which was a new twist on it. Springboard cross body and a running kick both get two.
Top rope seated senton hits but Truth gets the spinning forearm which is more spin than forearm out of nowhere for a close two. Axe kick misses so Rey tries a rollup which doesnt connect. The jumping reverse Stunner doesnt hit so Rey kicks him to the floor. Truth pulls him off the apron to crotch Rey on the ring skirt which is something that is hardly ever used. A Downward Spiral ends this clean. Nice to see Rey lose again.
Miz says that people say he has no chance of winning tonight. Those are the same people that said he was a joke or would be fired in three days or hed cash in MITB and lose but hes proven them all wrong, which hell do again tonight. Very true actually. Riley cuts off the catchphrase by saying hes the new WWE Champion instead of Awesome.
Cole talks about rubbing raw fish on his feet. Lawler: You are really an idiot.
We recap Jackson vs. Barrett. Corre attacked Jackson because Jackson was starting to think about himself too much. Jackson keeps trying to beat down Corre so Barrett challenged Jackson to a match for no apparent reason for Barretts IC Title.
Intercontinental Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Wade Barrett
Barrett comes out sans Corre which implies run in to me. Jackson is freaky big. Booker talks about Jackson winning his first title, even though this would be his second (ECW Title). Idiots chant boring about 8 seconds after the bell rings. Talk about being prejudiced. Barrett hammers away to start. Its a good thing that people sell his punches a lot because hes the bareknuckles champions or whatever right?
Jackson sends him to the floor and the chase is on. Jackson catches a big boot attempt as they get back in and runs Barrett over. Power vs. power here even thought Barrett isnt much of a power guy. Cole says the three others are some of the most boring broadcasters hes ever heard. Barrett claims a neck injury but is just pretending. Thats a bad IC Champion!
He sends Big Zeke into the post shoulder first a few times and adds a big boot with Jacksons head against the post. Cole has a big surprise for the Lawler match later. For the love of all things good and holy, let it end there. Barrett gets a middle rope elbow for two which I hope isnt your only Macho Man reference tonight. Cole and Booker argue about sheep and wolves or whatever as Barrett locks on a chinlock.
Wasteland is blocked and Jackson cant get anywhere as he walks into a kick to the ribs and a pumphandle slam. Jackson snaps and starts his series of like four slams in a row which I think is kind of a cool idea. It would hurt your back if you kept having it done to you. The fans seem to like it too so why not? Five slams sets up the Torture Rack and heres Gabriel for the pretty obvious DQ.
Corre beats down Jackson post match including a Boss Man Slam and a big boot, both from Wade. No 450 though.
Mason Ryan finds Otunga and McGillicutty down in the back. They say it was Show and Kane. Punk says it means they can show how awesome they are. He barely seems to care about the two guys down. Punk says walk it off.
Sin Cara vs. Chavo Guerrero
The idea here is Chavo claims that he invented most of what Cara does, which isnt true but it makes for a good storyline. Theyre in the weird lighting again here and Chavo has the shorts back. Cara takes over with some speed stuff but Chavo stops him, in theory because he knows the moves better and knows how to counter them.
Out to the floor and Cara does his usually awesome stuff but back in the ring a limping Chavo hammers him down into the corner. Cara hits a nice moonsault press for two. The lighting thing is a bit annoying in a long match. It looks like the light is sick or something. Its a standard ground game vs. high flying match which is similar to what Chavo owned the world at back in 2000 so this works fine.
We hit the floor again and Cara crushes him with a big dive. Top rope rana sets up some kicks and a handspring elbow as he channels his inner Tajiri. Top rope cross body gets two. Cara keeps trying to speed it up and its only kind of working. A springboard .head drag I guess sends Chavo down again. I think it was supposed to be La Mistica (headscissors into an armbar) but it wound up looking awful and Cara pins him with it. Horrible looking botch.
More anti-bullying jazz.
Randy and Christian have a quick chat about getting to be champion which doesnt go much of anywhere other than repeating talking points.
Alberto is here thankfully. Its a PPV with a car theme so how could he not be here? Hes here to talk about immigration apparently as everyone is complaining about various things. Ok never mind as he wants to talk about not being sad about being in a WWE Title match because his destiny cant be stopped. Hell be champion some day.
Big Shows music cuts him off and here come the tag champions. Kane is disappointed that there wasnt a rapture yesterday because he was looking forward to it. Alberto bails before getting his head knocked off.
Tag Titles: CM Punk/Mason Ryan vs. Big Show/Kane
Kane vs. Ryan to start us off here and the fans chant Batista. This crowd is getting on my nerves in a hurry. Power vs. Power of course and heres Show. Ryan goes all Big Zeke on him, taking him down with a clothesline. Off to Punk vs. Show. The giants take turns beating down Punk, probably jealous of all the hair gel. Ryan comes in to work on Kane as Punk has the word Macho on his tape.
Show stomps on the steps and it sounds like the building is falling down. The bulldog out of the corner is blocked and Punk is almost shoved into the big punch. Instead Punk dropkicks the knee and brings in Ryan who hits an old school Oklahoma Stampede. Bearhug time and Ryan just throws Kane around which is ultra rare. Kane grabs a suplex but Punk comes in to stop the tag.
Punk goes up top in a rare move for him. Is that a theme for this match or something? The elbow drop from the top misses and I cant help but smile. Its enough to bring in Show who cleans house as he is known to do. Double chokeslam to Ryan and were done. Sometimes theres no substitute for just picking someone up and drilling them like that.
Ad for Capitol Punishment featuring ..President Obama? Its one of those fake questions featuring real clips from a press conference. At least its four weeks away.
Divas Title: Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly
Cole even says this will be boring. This is about what you would expect: both girls do a few things, neither really are that good, both look good in tiny shorts, which is why they have their jobs I suppose. LONG armbar by Brie wastes some time. Theres Twin Magic, X-Factor, Nikki gets the pin.
Cole goes to get ready ..and the world title match is next? Wow indeed.
We recap Christian vs. Orton. Basic story here: Christian needs to prove his reign wasnt a fluke and he needs to prove that he can beat Orton on full rest. Somehow that takes long enough to heat up some grilled cheese to explain.
Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian
Big match intros fill in some time as we have almost an hour and a half left and three matches to go. Booker talks about how awesome Orton is because of his lineage, even though his grandfather was a relative unknown and his dad was good but not great. The crowd gets into it a bit and Booker goes into a LONG speech about Christian and hitting the button to make an engine go faster or something.
Anyway, Christian gets a middle rope dropkick for two as hes controlled so far. Orton does his apparently now signature toe touching thing on a leapfrog. The crowd is FAR more into this than the rest of the show combined. Off to a chinlock by Christian as Booker actually points something out: Christian doesnt pick guys up that much. Big old dropkick by Orton but he cant get much of an advantage going.
Lawler is gone too if I didnt mention that. Orton hits a full on superplex for a close two. Orton fires off those uppercuts with one of them being countered into a backslide for two. Spinebuster gets two for the Canadian. They slug it out and Christian goes up for a missile dropkick, only to get caught in a jackknife cover which he reverses into a sunset flip for two. Christian takes him down again and a swan dive headbutt gets two.
The fans seem to be more behind Christian here, but then again most people dont care about Orton until he hits the RKO. Orton starts his stomp. OH NO! HE KICKED HIM IN THE FOOT!!! ITS UTTER DEVASTATION!!!!! Kneedrop gets two but Christian gets a Killswitch attempt which is countered into an RKO attempt. That gets countered into another Killswitch attempt but Orton pulls the legs out and gets a reverse Boston Crab (Billy Goats Curse for you Colt Cabana fans) which Ive never seen in WWE.
Christian grabs the rope but its nice to see a new move being thrown out there like that. He fakes Orton out in the corner and gets a VERY close two off a sunset flip out of the corner. Important there because the fake out was the same move that Christian got caught in the RKO with in their first title match. Nice bit of psychology there.
Into the corner again and Christian tries the pendulum kick but Randy grabs the feet and shifts to an elevated DDT for a close two. Orton loads up the RKO but Christian shoves him off and stars shouting SPEAR. Ok, enough with the Edge references. Perhaps it was the SHOUTING THE NAME OF THE MOVE but Orton snaps him off with a powerslam for two. With Christian down Orton sets for the Punt of all things but he cant bring himself to do it.
He charges again but Christian pops up with a spear for a VERY close two. Christian goes into one of his old school fits almost as this is a rather good match. Christian sets for the Killswitch again but it gets countered as does the second attempt, the first into an RKO attempt and the second into an attempted belly to back suplex. Christian flips out of it but as he goes for the Killswitch again, its RKO time and Orton survives this.
They shake hands post match.
We recap Cole vs. Lawler so excuse me while I baste a turkey.
Ok Im back now and what a shock its still going. The idea is that Cole and Lawler hate each other and Cole has beaten him twice already. Lawler has put up his Hall of Fame ring and if he loses hell induct Cole into the Hall of Fame. Also the loser has to kiss the winners foot. Cole also ticked off his muscle in Jack Swagger so hes on his own here, at least in theory.
Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole
Remember that Cole has promised some kind of surprise all night. Cole comes out in a suit and limping. You can tell its officially an injury because he has a doctors note. Or maybe hes reading his lines. Apparently its because of infected athletes foot. If Coles foot goes into Lawlers mouth Lawler might contract foot and mouth disease. He gives the note to the referee and the referee rips it up. RING THE BELL!
Lawler drills him into the corner and pounds away and there go Coles pants. SOLID right hand and a dropkick send Cole to the floor. Josh says vintage. Cole manages to send him into the steps a few times and Cole takes the shoe off. This ticks Jerry off and LAWLER THROWS HIM THROUGH THE COLE MINE!!!!! Lawler celebrates the thing exploding which is a legit funny moment. Middle rope punch brings the strap down and WE ARE DONE! That made me smile. No rating as it was total domination but still, awesome moment as Jerry destroyed him.
Jerry starts unzipping his boot but has an idea. He waves someone out and here comes Eve. She drills him with a moonsault as this is turning into exactly what it should have been. Lawler still isnt done as he waves out JR! Appropriately enough JR has barbecue sauce. He pours it into Coles mouth until it overflows and all over his face. This is great. Cole gets to the floor and tries to leave and says that hes not a loser. Its Lawler and all the people that are losers. Hes not going to kiss his ..BRET HART IS HERE!!!!!
THIS is what I mean when I say they need to give old school fans something special. And before you ask, remember that it was Bret and Lawler in the first kiss my foot match. Sharpshooter goes on the pencils that Cole calls legs and its time to kiss the feet, complete with barbecue sauce. Cole is left totally destroyed and Brets music plays us out. PERFECT ending to this segment as Cole is completely and utterly destroyed.
JR jumps in on commentary for the main event.
They show the replay a bunch of times and Coles face is priceless.
Thats What I Am video, which actually wasnt all that bad.
We recap Miz vs. Cena. More or less Cena got to pick the stips because its a match he flat out doesnt lose. This is their third PPV match so I kind of like the idea of having the odds stacked so high against Miz because he can say he didnt deserve to lose but at the same time theyre almost too high.
Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena
I Quit rules here and they have a LOT of time. Miz has the coat again which is always a perk. Its only 20 past ten so they have a TON of time. Miz grabs the mic and says that since there are no rules Riley is going to help him. That helps a bit. Riley more or less plays spoiler here as he breaks up an early STF attempt. This is pretty smart actually.
The dueling chants begin as Cena puts Riley on the floor. Cena initiates his ending sequence quickly but Miz countered into a Skull Crushing Finale attempt. He walks into an FU but Riley pops in to massacre him with about 12 briefcase shots. Double powerbomb out of the corner but Cena says no. Booker more or less ends his employment by saying Cena has limited skills/abilities. Well he has a job on the internet for life.
More beatings follow and Cena is sent into the barricade, drawing a no. They set up the table and Miz hits a monitor shot to the head. This is getting a bit brutal here. Cena drills Riley and comes back on Miz but gets sent into the steps. DDT on the steps and Cena doesnt give up still. That one was more meager though. Miz cuts a short promo on Cena, saying that if he doesnt give up Riley will slam the steps onto Cenas ribs. Cena say go to hell and there are the steps for him.
Riley gets in the ring and holds Cenas arms back. Miz says he has a weapon and will hit him with it if Cena doesnt give up. You hit like a girl. That of course gets a no. Miz GOES OFF on Cena who more or less tries in vain to cover up. He still wont quit though. There are some sick marks all over Cenas stomach from that stick. This has been about 95% Miz/Riley.
The go up to the stage and Miz suplexes him on the stage. Cena is screaming loudly but still wont quit. Matthews asks about Cenas breaking point. Havent we seen that show already? Miz gets a running boot to the head to kick Cena off the stage. Cena STILL wont say he quits but he doesnt say no for awhile this time. They get a boom mic and a leather belt. Miz talks to Cena on the mic again but Cena STILL wont quit even at the threat of a whipping. You have a leather strap but you got no nuts.
Cena more or less stops reacting other than sticking his leg up to try to block the belt shots. He STILL says no, almost through tears. They head back to the ring and Cena somehow keeps fighting but a chair to the ribs and back stops that run. This is getting pretty awesome as its looking almost impossible for him to come back here and that Miz has the perfect plan.
Back in the ring and Cena AGAIN fights back. And there goes the referee. Cena cant get the FU on Riley but Miz takes him down one more time. He puts the chair between the ropes and its a Skull Crushing Finale THROUGH the chair which looks like it bent a bit. Booker: They seem like theyre trying to hurt him. Get this man off my commentary NOW.
Miz says maybe he needs to make this a bit more personal. He goes to a fan and asks if Cena is his hero. The kid says yes and he wants to know if he wants Cena to quit. The kid says never. Mic shot still gets a no from the fan. Miz GOES OFF on the fan and the fan shrugs his shoulder. Get actors next time Vince as the fan is hilarious here. Miz threatens Cena with a ton of chair shots as hes stuck in part of the barricade now. Cena says the kids are smarter than he is which gets no reaction really.
BIG chair shot over the head for that one and now Riley wants him to say it. THEY ACTUALLY DO THE RECORDED VOICE BIT!!! Cena clearly didnt move but a voiceover of him said it. The referee wants the belt but he finds the tape recorder. I think hes calling shenanigans here. Its Rileys phone so RESTART IT! Riley sets for a belt shot but it takes Miz out instead. FU to Riley through the table and Cena takes his own belt off. A bunch of whippings and Miz quits like a girl to the STF (Cena said it earlier, not me).
Results
R-Truth b. Rey Mysterio Downward Spiral
Ezekiel Jackson b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Justin Gabriel interfered
Sin Cara b. Chavo Guerrero Headscissors
Big Show/Kane b. Mason Ryan/CM Punk Double Chokeslam to Ryan
Brie Bella b. Kelly Kelly Bella Buster
Randy Orton b. Christian RKO
Jerry Lawler b. Michael Cole Middle Rope Punch
John Cena b. The Miz Miz said I Quit
Quick Results
Raw
CM Punk b. Kofi Kingston GTS
Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella Cradle
Rey Mysterio b. Alberto Del Rio via disqualification when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty b. Kane/Big Show McGillicutter to Kane
John Cena b. Jack Swagger STF
NXT
Darren Young b. Titus ONeil via countout
Yoshi Tatsu b. Byron Saxton Spinwheel kick from the top rope
Vladimir Kozlov b. JTG Spinebuster
Jacob Novak was eliminated in 6th place
Impact
Tara/Miss Tessmacher/Mickie James b. Rosita/Sarita/Madison Rayne Tara pinned Rosita after a Chokebomb
Abyss b. Kazarian Black Hole Slam
Samoa Joe b. Amazing Red Musclebuster
Eric Bischoff/Matt Hardy b. Generation Me Bischoff pinned Max Buck after a kick to the head
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Winter Small Package to Love
Smackdown
Christian b. Sheamus Small Package
Brie Bella b. Natalya Faceplant
Ezekiel Jackson/Kane/Big Show b. Corre Torture Rack to Gabriel
Daniel Bryan vs. Chavo Guerrero went to a time limit draw
Ted DiBiase b. Trent Barreta Dream Street
Randy Orton b. Mark Henry via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Over The Limit 2011
R-Truth b. Rey Mysterio Downward Spiral
Ezekiel Jackson b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Justin Gabriel interfered
Sin Cara b. Chavo Guerrero Headscissors
Big Show/Kane b. Mason Ryan/CM Punk Double Chokeslam to Ryan
Brie Bella b. Kelly Kelly Bella Buster
Randy Orton b. Christian RKO
Jerry Lawler b. Michael Cole Middle Rope Punch
John Cena b. The Miz Miz said I Quit
Randy Savage died in a car wreck after having a heart attack while driving. I have no idea what to say about that.
Impact got a 1.2, down from last week. Not a good sign coming off a PPV.
Remember when I said Bragging Rights was going to be called Uprising? Scratch that as now its Vengeance. PICK A FREAKING NAME ALREADY!!! Scratch that. PICK A NAME AND STICK WITH IT FOR MORE THAN A WEEK!!!
Smackdown
Date: May 20, 2011
Location: American Bank Center Arena Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
We have one more show before Over the Limit and this is it. I wouldnt expect much tonight other than a final push to the PPV as the card seems to be mostly set already. Orton and Christian will likely have some more interaction tonight but other than that I dont know of anything thats likely to happen. Anyway, lets get to it.
Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine at the moment is a bad cough that Ive had all week.
Orton vs. Henry tonight.
Christian vs. Sheamus
We get an old school inset promo from Sheamus as he comes to the ring where he says it took Christian 15 years to win a world title and it took him two months. Rather true actually. Sheamus uses power to take over early and Christian is in trouble. Christian manages to send the pale dude to the floor but gets caught by a shoulder through the ropes.
Christian speeds things up as we hit the floor. And never mind as we go back into the ring and Sheamus shoves him off the top to the floor and we take a break. Back with Sheamus getting a powerslam for two. Off to a chinlock by Sheamus as they rest a bit. Reverse DDT gets two for Christian as does a cross body. Middle rope elbow looks to set up the Killswitch but Christian walks into the Irish Curse for two.
Tornado DDT by Christian as this is a rather nice TV match so far. That only gets two though because regular moves cant get pins remember? Finishers only. Sheamus is knocked to the apron and hits a slingshot shoulder block to get two as well. And scratch what I said about finishers only as Christian grabs a small package for the pin at 8:43 shown on 12:13.
Henry comes out for the double beatdown post match. Orton comes out very slowly for the save but watches a bit first. So Orton is a voyeur now?
Long video on Miz vs. Cena on Sunday.
We run down the rest of the card for Sunday to fill in more time. Brie Bella is defending against Kelly Kelly apparently.
Speaking of the Bellas theyre in the back and Grisham asks them about the beatdown on Monday from Kharma. Brie is asked why she let Nikki get beaten down and they get in an argument about why they let each other get beaten down. They agree that they would have done the same thing in each others place so this is totally pointless.
Natalya vs. Brie Bella
Non-title here as I guess Natalya is now just there to fill in a space. Booker rambles on about biscuits and butter and Kharma as even Josh laughs at how out there he sounds. Natalya takes her down with relative ease and gets two. What looks like a Boston Crab cant go on so Brie takes over, working on the arm. Discus lariat gets two for Natalya as this is a rather boring match with the fans totally dead. Delayed vertical suplex gets no cover. Brie sends her shoulder first into the corner and gets a horrible looking X-Factor for the pin at 3:01.
We talk about Big Zeke getting thrown out of Corre and hell be here next.
Heres Jackson who says he came to SD to write a new chapter in the Book of Ezekiel. He joined the Corre to make an impact and talks about how Corre took over. Not really but well go with that. He wants to know if Corre needed him or if he needed Corre. The last two weeks hes taken a beating but they cant break him. Hes not going to sleep until theyve all suffered.
Here comes Corre for the beatdown but Teddy interrupts them and makes a six man tag.
Corre vs. Ezekiel Jackson/Kane/Big Show
Slater is in tights now instead of trunks. Show starts for the Bald Brotherhood to face Gabriel. The title match on Sunday is against Ryan and Punk. Why would it be against them when McGillicutty and Otunga beat the champions? Why am I trying to make sense of this? Kane comes in as this has been one sided so far. Off to Slater whose luck is about the same. Booker wants to step outside with Cole. I guess hes afraid to cross the street and needs Cole to hold his hand.
Barrett gets the tag and is rather skeptical to face Kane so he gets Jackson instead. Barrett beats him down but cant suplex him. Jackson clotheslines him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Jackson running over Gabriel and its off to Big Show. Showstopper (standing leg drop if I remember the name correctly) puts Gabriel down as does something resembling a superkick.
Back to Jackson as the beating continues. Totally one sided so far. Barrett comes in and has the best luck so he tags out to Slater immediately. Jackson runs over Slater now and Kane adds the top rope clothesline. Sidewalk slam gets two but Barrett pulls the top rope down to send Kane to the floor. Corre takes over as Slater throws on a chinlock which gets him nowhere.
Kane suplexes his way out of it but Barrett stops the tag. Double big boot puts both guys down and its back off to Slater again. Big uppercut puts Heath down and a double tag brings in Gabriel and Jackson. All Big Zeke here but everything breaks down quickly. Jackson slams Gabriel about four times and a torture rack (love that move for Jackson) ends this at 8:10 shown of 11:40.
Christian suggests we look at some tape from earlier which is Orton taking his time getting down there for the save. Hes going to be 100% on Sunday.
This isnt from the show but as Im reviewing this news broke that Randy Savage died in a car wreck. That completely blew me away and I have no idea what to even think about it. Sad indeed.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Daniel Bryan
Pre match Chavo says that he brought Sin Cara here and how hes going to beat Bryan in five minutes as opposed to the fifteen it took Cara to do it last week. Chavo vs. Cara is confirmed for the PPV. Theres a countdown clock on screen for this. First minute passes with nothing more than basic stuff. Bryan gets a dropkick and drop toehold to take over. Chavo gets his feet up in the corner to get two with 3:25 to go.
Booker and Cole get into it again as has become a tradition on Fridays anymore. Chavo locks in a reverse chinlock which doesnt last long. They exchange rollups and things speed up a bit with about two minutes to go. Here come the kicks and its LeBell Lock time. He cant quite get it on so he hits the floor with a minute left. Big dive to the floor takes Chavo out and the missile dropkick misses with thirty five seconds left. Chavo goes with Three Amigos with very little time left. Frog Splash only gets two and the clock runs out at 5:00.
Chavo throws him to the floor post match and Sin Cara comes out for the save, hitting a rana to send Chavo to the floor.
Heres Cody with Ted for the paper bag thing. PLEASE tell me theyre not reforming Legacy and messing up Codys push for the sake of a weak tag team. Cody gets a bag especially for Ted who doesnt want to put it on but does anyway. It turns out to be a joke for the sake of making fun of Corpus Christi as Ted speaks in a bad Mexican accent. The fans boo and Cody yells at them to put the bags on. Ted takes the bag off and says bring out his opponent.
Ted DiBiase vs. Trent Barreta
Ted hammers him back into the corner as I think we have a squash on our hands here. Apparently Cody called Ted a shrub or something, meaning his career has fallen apart. Trent takes Ted down with a standing Swanton for two. Enziguri has Ted staggering but a tornado DDT is countered into a sitout powerbomb. Dream Street ends this clean in 1:25 for no rating of course. Trent gets paper bagged post match.
Great Khali vs. Jey Uso
What do you think is going to happen here? No Singh with Khali here. Jey tries to get some kicks in but Khali throws him around. A dropkick sends Khali into the corner and heres Jinder Mahal to yell at Khali some more. Khali goes to the floor to stare him down and almost gets counted out because of it. Back in the chop and Khali Bomb ends this at 2:05. Total squash for all intents and purposes. Someone, perhaps Jimmy Uso, comes in and gets chopped also as he checks on Jey.
Apparently Christian said hell be 100%. Orton says thats not going to be enough.
Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry
Henry takes him back into the corner to start and the power game takes over rather quickly. The less orange than usual Orton is sent to the floor and the beating continues. Back in and Orton gets a few shots in and a dropkick sends Henry to the floor. Back with another dropkick doing the same. It was one of those commercials where nothing changed so Im not adding the time to the clock.
Back in and Henry gets a powerslam for no cover as Booker freaks out. Oh theres the cover but there was a delay in between. Henry shouts that he owns Orton. I wonder if he sees fried chicken when he looks at Orton. Off to an armbar because when you think big, strong, mad, ticked off Texan, you think armbar. Orton hits the rope and runs over Henry and adds some knee drops to take over.
The Garvin Stomp begins as it amazes me that hes stealing stuff from Ronnie Freaking Garvin. Dude, were there no Kansas Jayhawk moves available? Henry hits the floor to avoids the RKO but gets caught in position for the elevated DDT. And never mind as heres Sheamus for the DQ at 5:45.
Christian does the same thing that Orton did earlier and waits a bit on the stage before coming in for the save. Randy is all ticked off about the delay but Christian is like dude I was having an awesome game of Parcheesi with Corre. Anyway the monsters come in again and get beaten down. RKO to Henry sets up a handshake to end the show.
Results
Christian b. Sheamus Small Package
Brie Bella b. Natalya Faceplant
Ezekiel Jackson/Kane/Big Show b. Corre Torture Rack to Gabriel
Daniel Bryan vs. Chavo Guerrero went to a time limit draw
Ted DiBiase b. Trent Barreta Dream Street
Randy Orton b. Mark Henry via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Saturday
ROH has been sold to a TV company and will be on in some markets in the fall. Not a huge deal but the ROH fanboys sure want it to be.
Sunday
Randy Savages autopsy results are inconclusive, meaning theyre not sure if it was the medical thing that killed him or the crash. They did a toxicology report to check for alcohol or drugs but neither are thought to have been a factor. Id assume thats standard operating procedure though.
Over the Limit 2011
Date: May 22, 2011
Location: KeyArena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole
Its Over the Limit again which was a totally worthless show last year which is about what Im expecting this year. The main event is Miz vs. Cena in an I Quit match while on the other side you have Christian vs. Orton in their rematch. The first match was good so this should be as well with more time and some experience to work with. All in all though it looks weak but Ive been wrong before. Lets get to it.
Theres a graphic saying in memory of Randy Savage to open us up. Certainly better than nothing.
The opening video is about what the human body is capable of when its pushed over the limit. Not bad but a bit basic. Then again there isnt much you can do with a theme like Over the Limit.
Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth
Truth just has the one line to start his lack of music now. The Truth is that its all about parking lots. He got here today and didnt have a parking spot so he had to park with the rest of the fans in the rain. Its a conspiracy and while hes danced and pranced for all of the Little Jimmys, its gotten him nowhere. He doesnt play games like Rey Mysterio who wears that toy mask. Hes taking Reys spot and thats the Truth.
There are cars on the stage like last year. One is a Mustang and I cant tell on the other one. Lawler points out how stupid it is to be worried about a parking space when you have a match on PPV. Leave it to the veterans to make sense. Booker says Truth should have changed his attitude a long time ago. Is Booker a subtle heel commentator and Im just missing it?
Rey makes Truth madder and manages to send him to the floor where a hurricanrana from the apron takes him down. Truth, in his purple shoes, takes over by hammering Rey in the corner. That gets him nowhere as Rey outmoves him of course. Cole quotes a Kid Rock song from 2002 by saying it aint bragging if you do it and you back it up as Rey is sent to the floor.
Truth keeps stopping Rey when he tries to get something going, including hitting a sitout gordbuster for two. Lawler seems like he has a cold and Cole makes fun of him for it of course. Rey makes a comeback and gets a middle rope bulldog for two. As in Truth was on the middle rope which was a new twist on it. Springboard cross body and a running kick both get two.
Top rope seated senton hits but Truth gets the spinning forearm which is more spin than forearm out of nowhere for a close two. Axe kick misses so Rey tries a rollup which doesnt connect. The jumping reverse Stunner doesnt hit so Rey kicks him to the floor. Truth pulls him off the apron to crotch Rey on the ring skirt which is something that is hardly ever used. A Downward Spiral ends this clean. Nice to see Rey lose again.
Miz says that people say he has no chance of winning tonight. Those are the same people that said he was a joke or would be fired in three days or hed cash in MITB and lose but hes proven them all wrong, which hell do again tonight. Very true actually. Riley cuts off the catchphrase by saying hes the new WWE Champion instead of Awesome.
Cole talks about rubbing raw fish on his feet. Lawler: You are really an idiot.
We recap Jackson vs. Barrett. Corre attacked Jackson because Jackson was starting to think about himself too much. Jackson keeps trying to beat down Corre so Barrett challenged Jackson to a match for no apparent reason for Barretts IC Title.
Intercontinental Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Wade Barrett
Barrett comes out sans Corre which implies run in to me. Jackson is freaky big. Booker talks about Jackson winning his first title, even though this would be his second (ECW Title). Idiots chant boring about 8 seconds after the bell rings. Talk about being prejudiced. Barrett hammers away to start. Its a good thing that people sell his punches a lot because hes the bareknuckles champions or whatever right?
Jackson sends him to the floor and the chase is on. Jackson catches a big boot attempt as they get back in and runs Barrett over. Power vs. power here even thought Barrett isnt much of a power guy. Cole says the three others are some of the most boring broadcasters hes ever heard. Barrett claims a neck injury but is just pretending. Thats a bad IC Champion!
He sends Big Zeke into the post shoulder first a few times and adds a big boot with Jacksons head against the post. Cole has a big surprise for the Lawler match later. For the love of all things good and holy, let it end there. Barrett gets a middle rope elbow for two which I hope isnt your only Macho Man reference tonight. Cole and Booker argue about sheep and wolves or whatever as Barrett locks on a chinlock.
Wasteland is blocked and Jackson cant get anywhere as he walks into a kick to the ribs and a pumphandle slam. Jackson snaps and starts his series of like four slams in a row which I think is kind of a cool idea. It would hurt your back if you kept having it done to you. The fans seem to like it too so why not? Five slams sets up the Torture Rack and heres Gabriel for the pretty obvious DQ.
Corre beats down Jackson post match including a Boss Man Slam and a big boot, both from Wade. No 450 though.
Mason Ryan finds Otunga and McGillicutty down in the back. They say it was Show and Kane. Punk says it means they can show how awesome they are. He barely seems to care about the two guys down. Punk says walk it off.
Sin Cara vs. Chavo Guerrero
The idea here is Chavo claims that he invented most of what Cara does, which isnt true but it makes for a good storyline. Theyre in the weird lighting again here and Chavo has the shorts back. Cara takes over with some speed stuff but Chavo stops him, in theory because he knows the moves better and knows how to counter them.
Out to the floor and Cara does his usually awesome stuff but back in the ring a limping Chavo hammers him down into the corner. Cara hits a nice moonsault press for two. The lighting thing is a bit annoying in a long match. It looks like the light is sick or something. Its a standard ground game vs. high flying match which is similar to what Chavo owned the world at back in 2000 so this works fine.
We hit the floor again and Cara crushes him with a big dive. Top rope rana sets up some kicks and a handspring elbow as he channels his inner Tajiri. Top rope cross body gets two. Cara keeps trying to speed it up and its only kind of working. A springboard .head drag I guess sends Chavo down again. I think it was supposed to be La Mistica (headscissors into an armbar) but it wound up looking awful and Cara pins him with it. Horrible looking botch.
More anti-bullying jazz.
Randy and Christian have a quick chat about getting to be champion which doesnt go much of anywhere other than repeating talking points.
Alberto is here thankfully. Its a PPV with a car theme so how could he not be here? Hes here to talk about immigration apparently as everyone is complaining about various things. Ok never mind as he wants to talk about not being sad about being in a WWE Title match because his destiny cant be stopped. Hell be champion some day.
Big Shows music cuts him off and here come the tag champions. Kane is disappointed that there wasnt a rapture yesterday because he was looking forward to it. Alberto bails before getting his head knocked off.
Tag Titles: CM Punk/Mason Ryan vs. Big Show/Kane
Kane vs. Ryan to start us off here and the fans chant Batista. This crowd is getting on my nerves in a hurry. Power vs. Power of course and heres Show. Ryan goes all Big Zeke on him, taking him down with a clothesline. Off to Punk vs. Show. The giants take turns beating down Punk, probably jealous of all the hair gel. Ryan comes in to work on Kane as Punk has the word Macho on his tape.
Show stomps on the steps and it sounds like the building is falling down. The bulldog out of the corner is blocked and Punk is almost shoved into the big punch. Instead Punk dropkicks the knee and brings in Ryan who hits an old school Oklahoma Stampede. Bearhug time and Ryan just throws Kane around which is ultra rare. Kane grabs a suplex but Punk comes in to stop the tag.
Punk goes up top in a rare move for him. Is that a theme for this match or something? The elbow drop from the top misses and I cant help but smile. Its enough to bring in Show who cleans house as he is known to do. Double chokeslam to Ryan and were done. Sometimes theres no substitute for just picking someone up and drilling them like that.
Ad for Capitol Punishment featuring ..President Obama? Its one of those fake questions featuring real clips from a press conference. At least its four weeks away.
Divas Title: Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly
Cole even says this will be boring. This is about what you would expect: both girls do a few things, neither really are that good, both look good in tiny shorts, which is why they have their jobs I suppose. LONG armbar by Brie wastes some time. Theres Twin Magic, X-Factor, Nikki gets the pin.
Cole goes to get ready ..and the world title match is next? Wow indeed.
We recap Christian vs. Orton. Basic story here: Christian needs to prove his reign wasnt a fluke and he needs to prove that he can beat Orton on full rest. Somehow that takes long enough to heat up some grilled cheese to explain.
Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian
Big match intros fill in some time as we have almost an hour and a half left and three matches to go. Booker talks about how awesome Orton is because of his lineage, even though his grandfather was a relative unknown and his dad was good but not great. The crowd gets into it a bit and Booker goes into a LONG speech about Christian and hitting the button to make an engine go faster or something.
Anyway, Christian gets a middle rope dropkick for two as hes controlled so far. Orton does his apparently now signature toe touching thing on a leapfrog. The crowd is FAR more into this than the rest of the show combined. Off to a chinlock by Christian as Booker actually points something out: Christian doesnt pick guys up that much. Big old dropkick by Orton but he cant get much of an advantage going.
Lawler is gone too if I didnt mention that. Orton hits a full on superplex for a close two. Orton fires off those uppercuts with one of them being countered into a backslide for two. Spinebuster gets two for the Canadian. They slug it out and Christian goes up for a missile dropkick, only to get caught in a jackknife cover which he reverses into a sunset flip for two. Christian takes him down again and a swan dive headbutt gets two.
The fans seem to be more behind Christian here, but then again most people dont care about Orton until he hits the RKO. Orton starts his stomp. OH NO! HE KICKED HIM IN THE FOOT!!! ITS UTTER DEVASTATION!!!!! Kneedrop gets two but Christian gets a Killswitch attempt which is countered into an RKO attempt. That gets countered into another Killswitch attempt but Orton pulls the legs out and gets a reverse Boston Crab (Billy Goats Curse for you Colt Cabana fans) which Ive never seen in WWE.
Christian grabs the rope but its nice to see a new move being thrown out there like that. He fakes Orton out in the corner and gets a VERY close two off a sunset flip out of the corner. Important there because the fake out was the same move that Christian got caught in the RKO with in their first title match. Nice bit of psychology there.
Into the corner again and Christian tries the pendulum kick but Randy grabs the feet and shifts to an elevated DDT for a close two. Orton loads up the RKO but Christian shoves him off and stars shouting SPEAR. Ok, enough with the Edge references. Perhaps it was the SHOUTING THE NAME OF THE MOVE but Orton snaps him off with a powerslam for two. With Christian down Orton sets for the Punt of all things but he cant bring himself to do it.
He charges again but Christian pops up with a spear for a VERY close two. Christian goes into one of his old school fits almost as this is a rather good match. Christian sets for the Killswitch again but it gets countered as does the second attempt, the first into an RKO attempt and the second into an attempted belly to back suplex. Christian flips out of it but as he goes for the Killswitch again, its RKO time and Orton survives this.
They shake hands post match.
We recap Cole vs. Lawler so excuse me while I baste a turkey.
Ok Im back now and what a shock its still going. The idea is that Cole and Lawler hate each other and Cole has beaten him twice already. Lawler has put up his Hall of Fame ring and if he loses hell induct Cole into the Hall of Fame. Also the loser has to kiss the winners foot. Cole also ticked off his muscle in Jack Swagger so hes on his own here, at least in theory.
Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole
Remember that Cole has promised some kind of surprise all night. Cole comes out in a suit and limping. You can tell its officially an injury because he has a doctors note. Or maybe hes reading his lines. Apparently its because of infected athletes foot. If Coles foot goes into Lawlers mouth Lawler might contract foot and mouth disease. He gives the note to the referee and the referee rips it up. RING THE BELL!
Lawler drills him into the corner and pounds away and there go Coles pants. SOLID right hand and a dropkick send Cole to the floor. Josh says vintage. Cole manages to send him into the steps a few times and Cole takes the shoe off. This ticks Jerry off and LAWLER THROWS HIM THROUGH THE COLE MINE!!!!! Lawler celebrates the thing exploding which is a legit funny moment. Middle rope punch brings the strap down and WE ARE DONE! That made me smile. No rating as it was total domination but still, awesome moment as Jerry destroyed him.
Jerry starts unzipping his boot but has an idea. He waves someone out and here comes Eve. She drills him with a moonsault as this is turning into exactly what it should have been. Lawler still isnt done as he waves out JR! Appropriately enough JR has barbecue sauce. He pours it into Coles mouth until it overflows and all over his face. This is great. Cole gets to the floor and tries to leave and says that hes not a loser. Its Lawler and all the people that are losers. Hes not going to kiss his ..BRET HART IS HERE!!!!!
THIS is what I mean when I say they need to give old school fans something special. And before you ask, remember that it was Bret and Lawler in the first kiss my foot match. Sharpshooter goes on the pencils that Cole calls legs and its time to kiss the feet, complete with barbecue sauce. Cole is left totally destroyed and Brets music plays us out. PERFECT ending to this segment as Cole is completely and utterly destroyed.
JR jumps in on commentary for the main event.
They show the replay a bunch of times and Coles face is priceless.
Thats What I Am video, which actually wasnt all that bad.
We recap Miz vs. Cena. More or less Cena got to pick the stips because its a match he flat out doesnt lose. This is their third PPV match so I kind of like the idea of having the odds stacked so high against Miz because he can say he didnt deserve to lose but at the same time theyre almost too high.
Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena
I Quit rules here and they have a LOT of time. Miz has the coat again which is always a perk. Its only 20 past ten so they have a TON of time. Miz grabs the mic and says that since there are no rules Riley is going to help him. That helps a bit. Riley more or less plays spoiler here as he breaks up an early STF attempt. This is pretty smart actually.
The dueling chants begin as Cena puts Riley on the floor. Cena initiates his ending sequence quickly but Miz countered into a Skull Crushing Finale attempt. He walks into an FU but Riley pops in to massacre him with about 12 briefcase shots. Double powerbomb out of the corner but Cena says no. Booker more or less ends his employment by saying Cena has limited skills/abilities. Well he has a job on the internet for life.
More beatings follow and Cena is sent into the barricade, drawing a no. They set up the table and Miz hits a monitor shot to the head. This is getting a bit brutal here. Cena drills Riley and comes back on Miz but gets sent into the steps. DDT on the steps and Cena doesnt give up still. That one was more meager though. Miz cuts a short promo on Cena, saying that if he doesnt give up Riley will slam the steps onto Cenas ribs. Cena say go to hell and there are the steps for him.
Riley gets in the ring and holds Cenas arms back. Miz says he has a weapon and will hit him with it if Cena doesnt give up. You hit like a girl. That of course gets a no. Miz GOES OFF on Cena who more or less tries in vain to cover up. He still wont quit though. There are some sick marks all over Cenas stomach from that stick. This has been about 95% Miz/Riley.
The go up to the stage and Miz suplexes him on the stage. Cena is screaming loudly but still wont quit. Matthews asks about Cenas breaking point. Havent we seen that show already? Miz gets a running boot to the head to kick Cena off the stage. Cena STILL wont say he quits but he doesnt say no for awhile this time. They get a boom mic and a leather belt. Miz talks to Cena on the mic again but Cena STILL wont quit even at the threat of a whipping. You have a leather strap but you got no nuts.
Cena more or less stops reacting other than sticking his leg up to try to block the belt shots. He STILL says no, almost through tears. They head back to the ring and Cena somehow keeps fighting but a chair to the ribs and back stops that run. This is getting pretty awesome as its looking almost impossible for him to come back here and that Miz has the perfect plan.
Back in the ring and Cena AGAIN fights back. And there goes the referee. Cena cant get the FU on Riley but Miz takes him down one more time. He puts the chair between the ropes and its a Skull Crushing Finale THROUGH the chair which looks like it bent a bit. Booker: They seem like theyre trying to hurt him. Get this man off my commentary NOW.
Miz says maybe he needs to make this a bit more personal. He goes to a fan and asks if Cena is his hero. The kid says yes and he wants to know if he wants Cena to quit. The kid says never. Mic shot still gets a no from the fan. Miz GOES OFF on the fan and the fan shrugs his shoulder. Get actors next time Vince as the fan is hilarious here. Miz threatens Cena with a ton of chair shots as hes stuck in part of the barricade now. Cena says the kids are smarter than he is which gets no reaction really.
BIG chair shot over the head for that one and now Riley wants him to say it. THEY ACTUALLY DO THE RECORDED VOICE BIT!!! Cena clearly didnt move but a voiceover of him said it. The referee wants the belt but he finds the tape recorder. I think hes calling shenanigans here. Its Rileys phone so RESTART IT! Riley sets for a belt shot but it takes Miz out instead. FU to Riley through the table and Cena takes his own belt off. A bunch of whippings and Miz quits like a girl to the STF (Cena said it earlier, not me).
Results
R-Truth b. Rey Mysterio Downward Spiral
Ezekiel Jackson b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Justin Gabriel interfered
Sin Cara b. Chavo Guerrero Headscissors
Big Show/Kane b. Mason Ryan/CM Punk Double Chokeslam to Ryan
Brie Bella b. Kelly Kelly Bella Buster
Randy Orton b. Christian RKO
Jerry Lawler b. Michael Cole Middle Rope Punch
John Cena b. The Miz Miz said I Quit
Quick Results
Raw
CM Punk b. Kofi Kingston GTS
Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella Cradle
Rey Mysterio b. Alberto Del Rio via disqualification when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty b. Kane/Big Show McGillicutter to Kane
John Cena b. Jack Swagger STF
NXT
Darren Young b. Titus ONeil via countout
Yoshi Tatsu b. Byron Saxton Spinwheel kick from the top rope
Vladimir Kozlov b. JTG Spinebuster
Jacob Novak was eliminated in 6th place
Impact
Tara/Miss Tessmacher/Mickie James b. Rosita/Sarita/Madison Rayne Tara pinned Rosita after a Chokebomb
Abyss b. Kazarian Black Hole Slam
Samoa Joe b. Amazing Red Musclebuster
Eric Bischoff/Matt Hardy b. Generation Me Bischoff pinned Max Buck after a kick to the head
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Winter Small Package to Love
Smackdown
Christian b. Sheamus Small Package
Brie Bella b. Natalya Faceplant
Ezekiel Jackson/Kane/Big Show b. Corre Torture Rack to Gabriel
Daniel Bryan vs. Chavo Guerrero went to a time limit draw
Ted DiBiase b. Trent Barreta Dream Street
Randy Orton b. Mark Henry via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Over The Limit 2011
R-Truth b. Rey Mysterio Downward Spiral
Ezekiel Jackson b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Justin Gabriel interfered
Sin Cara b. Chavo Guerrero Headscissors
Big Show/Kane b. Mason Ryan/CM Punk Double Chokeslam to Ryan
Brie Bella b. Kelly Kelly Bella Buster
Randy Orton b. Christian RKO
Jerry Lawler b. Michael Cole Middle Rope Punch
John Cena b. The Miz Miz said I Quit