klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Smackdown got a 1.94, the same as last week.
Kurt Angle got on Twitter and complained about guys at Mania stealing his moves. Today he claims that his account was hacked. CM Punk responded by saying “"my twitter account was hacked", is the new: "I'm a sloppy drunk douche". Rock the hell on.
Monday Night Raw
Date: April 4, 2011
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We’re finally on the other side of Wrestlemania and not a ton has changed on Raw. The Miz is still champion, Cole can still run his mouth (I still don’t get that one) and Rock vs. Cena is still going on. Tonight we begin the build up to Extreme Rules and also have the debut of Sin Cara which is something a lot of people have been looking forward to. Let’s get to it.
Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are on commentary to open us up. Whoa.
John Cena will call out the Rock tonight.
HHH opens us up wearing sunglasses for some reason, possibly a black eye. He talks about being incredibly nervous last night and even mentions wrestling him at Wrestlemania before but it was nothing like this. Big bruise on the left hand (his left) side of the Game’s forehead. HHH says he hit Taker as hard as he’s ever hit anyone and they left it all in the ring last night, but for him it wasn’t good enough.
No one has ever taken the pain like Taker has and HHH doesn’t know what to do. The crowd looks HUGE here and the Cole Mine is at ringside with caution tape over it. It was a man that was carted off last night and a lot of people are saying he’s done now. He wants to say one thing. He takes off the glasses and there’s tape on his nose. HHH says thank you to the Undertaker for giving him the fight of his life last night. Undertaker will be back and HHH will be waiting. The fans give him a standing ovation as he leaves.
Apparently Cole is going to invite Lawler out for a match, which is why Lawler has some pads on.
Austin is here tonight and will introduce the cast of Tough Enough.
Jerry is talking to JR about his match last night when Cole comes out in his gear. Jerry doesn’t seem incredibly bothered by the outcome last night. With Shawn now in the Hall of Fame and Cole at 1-0, he‘s the new Mr. Wrestlemania. Jerry says that Cole needs to shut up because a computer beat him. Lawler says he had Cole screaming like a little girl. Cole says how about a rematch (Cole never says with him) and Jerry says let’s do it right now. Cole says not with him, but with Swagger.
Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger
They slug it out a bit and Swagger takes over. A charge into the corner misses and Lawler hammers away but can’t get anywhere. The fans are hot for Jerry. That didn’t sound right. Slam by Swagger but he misses a leg drop. Vader Bomb misses and the Titantron seems to be flickering. Lawler hammers away and gets a dropkick. King goes for the middle rope punch but Cole comes in. Jerry goes after him, only to get locked in the ankle lock for the tap out at 3:55. Swagger won’t let go though and the decision is reversed.
Post match Cole goes into the Cole Mine and finds JR’s Barbecue Sauce. He gets ticked off and sprays it on JR who chases him to the back. So now we have no commentary.
Punk/Rhodes vs. Mysterio/Orton next.
Back with Cole ranting about JR. He’s on commentary now with Booker and Josh.
CM Punk/Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio/CM Punk
Orton and Rhodes give us a Legacy reunion to start us off. Rey comes in and gets a shot to the face, sending Cody to the floor as we take a break. Back with Orton vs. Rhodes again as Randy drops the knee of him for two. Off to Rey who gets beaten down. Cody gets caught in a small package and it’s off to Orton again.
Punk tries to wrap the bad leg around the post but gets sent into the barricade. Chop block by Cody and Randy is in trouble. Punk sets for the GTS but like any good villain, waits too long and Orton escapes. RKO doesn’t work and it’s back to the leg as we take a second break. When do you ever see that anymore?
Back with Orton in a leg drop but he almost immediately gets a hot tag to Rey who comes in with a seated senton to Punk. He sets for the 619 but Rhodes gets the Beautiful Disaster to take Rey’s head off on the way for two. Back off to Cody who hammers away on Rey even more. Punk works on the arm a bit more as we hit the 15:00 mark for the first time in forever on Raw.
Double tag brings in Orton to use his vast array of clotheslines on Rhodes. The fans are wide awake now after being a bit quiet earlier. Elevated DDT to Rhodes and Randy goes into his zone. HUGE pop for the possibility of the RKO too. Punk distracts so Orton settles for the Angle Slam, likely resulting in that mean old hacker going after the completely innocent Kurt’s Twitter again. 619 sets up the RKO to end it at 16:32.
Austin is heading to the ring and runs into HHH. They shake hands and Austin says it was a hell of a match and wants to be there if it happens again. These moments between the big three are pretty awesome.
Sin Cara is coming. Still.
Here’s Austin to talk about Tough Enough. He brings out the kids to his ring. There are 14 of them. The trainers are Bill DeMott, Trish Stratus and Booker T. There’s only going to be one winner. They all get to introduce themselves and Austin gets annoyed when one guy talks too long. I won’t go through all of them as there’s not much to say. One looks almost exactly like Alicia Fox. Miss USA gets a nice ovation looks rather good. One girl is Latina and speaks Spanish. One is named Eric Watts but thankfully it’s not the more famous version.
They get done and the fans chant “stun them all”. Apparently that girl that looks like Fox does so for a reason: it’s her sister. Austin talks a bit more and here are Miz and Riley (in a tux). Austin says no one is ever going to tell him about being tough or having valor again. We see a clip of Miz getting speared to the floor last night and apparently getting a concussion. I wouldn’t doubt it for a second after his head bounced off that concrete.
Miz heads to the ring and tells the rookies to take a long look at them. He offers Austin a chance to hold his belt. He says Austin thinks he has one more run in him. The fans chant one more match and Miz challenges him to one more match right now. Austin says clear the ring and Miz jumps him. He runs off and it’s down to Austin and Riley.
Riley hammers away but Austin remembers that he’s Austin and beats the tar out of him with the Thesz Press and FU elbow. Big old Stunner sends Riley to the floor. He tosses beers to the Tough Enough kids and the fans aren’t thrilled. Austin walks over to Cole and pours some beer in the Cole Mine.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Evan Bourne
No car tonight. Cole talks about how Austin pouring beer on him was him showing how impressed Austin was and initiating him into the brotherhood. Points to Cole for trying as hard as he can here. Alberto controls early but gets caught by a spin kick. That’s about the extent of Bourne’s offense there though as down he goes. Out to the floor and it’s all Del Rio. Chinlock by Alberto and Bourne starts his comeback with various strikes and rollups that get him nowhere. Bourne goes up but the enziguri sets up the Cross Armbreaker to end it at 2:42. Just a squash.
We get a video on Axxess from the previous week. These are cool things to do and it makes WWE look good which is always a good thing.
Cole talks about giving Lawler a rematch next year in the art show but is interrupted by Vickie. She blames Laycool for the loss last night and is in tights. Ziggler wants a mixed tag RIGHT NOW. They head to the ring and we take a break.
Dolph Ziggler/Vickie Guerrero vs. John Morrison/Trish Stratus
Obviously the match is accepted and the guys start us off. Off to the girls after some basic stuff and Vickie actually beats trish up a bit. Something resembling a leg drop misses and it’s back to Morrison. Ziggler gets a big clothesline to turn Morroison inside out and Trish has to save. Dolph gets in his face so she drills him. Moonlight Drive KILLS Ziggler and Starship Pain ends this clean at 3:27.
US Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan
Bryan has the ring jacket back and Sheamus now wears red, white and blue. Sheamus throws him around to start and takes his head off with a double axe handle. Cole talks about how awesome he is again and Sheamus hammers away on Bryan even more. Bryan rolls out of a chinlock but gets caught in a tilt-a-while backbreaker which is now called the Irish Curse by Cole.
Bryan starts his comeback with some clotheslines and a running knee strike for two. Sheamus kicks him in the knee and tries the real Irish Curse which is countered into the LeBell Lock which can’t go all the way on. Brogue Kick ends this at 3:59. Not much here and Bryan was never in any real sense of control.
With Sheamus posing the lights go out and it’s SIN CARA! He points at Sheamus and charges the ring, diving over the rop rope and hitting all kinds of high spots, sending Sheamus to the floor and hitting a HUGE dive from the top to the floor, taking out Sheamus. This is like Rey Mysterio back in 96 which if you’re familiar with him is a huge compliment.
Here’s Cena to more insane booing. He says that there was a guy who said he was coming to Wrestlemania to whip some candy ass and Cena is glad he did because otherwise the ending of Wrestlemania would have been a draw. That’s a good point actually. Cena congratulates Miz on coming into and leaving Wrestlemania as the champion. He says that Miz has earned the people’s respect.
That brings him back to that certain someone. That someone doesn’t like Cena that much but he’s here tonight. He was supposed to be the guest host of Wrestlemania but very quickly got into some business. That would be Cena’s business, meaning they have business to settle right now.
Cue Rock to an eruption. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles. Rock says that of course he got involved. Just because Rock has been away that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know about Cena. Cena lives and breathes WWE and Rock says that he is one of the best WWE Champions and superstars of all time. However, Rock just doesn’t like him.
Rock says they’re very different but they both want to be the best. Well other than where they shop as Rock goes to department stores (I guess they sell sleeveless Brahma Bull shirts and workout pants at department stores now) and Cena shops at Baby Gap. Cena: “Oh great. Fashion advice from the Tooth Fairy.”
Cena says Rock is the man of the people and the people want to see one match. Never else can you see a match like this so does Rock want to talk or does Rock want to bring it. Cena takes the hat and shirt off and Rock says he has no idea what he just asked for. Rock says he'll bring it, but let's bring it on the grandest stage of them all. Rock vs. Cena, Wrestlemania 28. Rock sticks out his hand and Cena shakes it, ending the show. Wow are they really going to wait that long?
The music looks to end it and.....here's THE CORRE??? Rock and Cena fight them off and it's a People's Elbow for Barrett followed by an FU for Slater. Cena's music plays but Rock hits a Rock Bottom on Gabriel. They stare each other down again and Rock says he'll see him at Wrestlemania. They shake hands again and Cena leaves, ending the show.
Results
Jerry Lawler b. Jack Swagger via DQ when Swagger wouldn’t break the ankle lock
Randy Orton/Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk/Cody Rhodes – RKO to Rhodes
Alberto Del Rio b. Evan Bourne – Cross Armbreaker
Trish Stratus/John Morrison b. Dolph Ziggler/Vickie Guerrero – Starship Pain to Ziggler
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.8. Have to think they’re happy with that as it’s the same as pre-Mania.
NXT
Date: April 5, 2011
Location: Times Union Center, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal
This is week number five and now we’re back to the regular kind of NXT shows where we only lose 10 minutes a week to the main show building stuff. The season needs to get moving along though as we haven’t heard about an elimination yet and I can’t take much more Jacob Novak. Anyway this is kind of a new year show in the WWE logic so maybe the energy from last night will carry over here. Let’s get to it.
Now that I’ve found what city this is in, we can get going. WWE.com recently redesigned, making it a lot harder to
We bring out the rookies and go over the scores. O’Neil has 9 points, Young has 7 and everyone else has zero. The first challenge is a trivia game. The idea is a category is named and you have to give an answer in that category as we go down the line. First up is Wrestlemania 27 winners. Young says Bret Hart right off the bat and is gone. Cannon asks where Matt’s girlfriend was last night because Cannon does. O’Brian can’t come up with anything.
Next category is 2011 HOF inductees. We have Novak, O’Neil and Saxton left. Novak is gone because he repeats Bob Armstrong. Category 3 is name any former NXT rookie. After saying themselves they list off the Nexus and this goes on for awhile. No girls named yet until Titus repeats Saxton and gives Saxton the win and 4 points. I’d bet almost anything on him winning whatever match he’s in tonight.
Titus/Horny vs. Young/Chavo tonight. Yes, it’s Chavo vs. Hornswoggle again.
Jacob Novak vs. Conor O’Brian
Kozlov’s arm is in a sling. Conor works on the arm to start as we talk about the color of Novak’s tights. Now he works the leg. I think this is supposed to be a long running feud on NXT. The problem with this is that Rat Boy is the far better of the two, which coming from me you know isn’t a good thing. Novak takes over with various stuff and gets a neckbreaker for two.
We hit the chinlock with O’Brian in trouble. Regal talks about the NXT guys going around at Mania weekend and picking the brains of legends and pros, which is a good job by Regal of playing up the whole “they’re rookies” thing. Regal insists he never threw European Uppercuts but rather British Uppercuts. While he goes on about that, O’Brian rolls Novak up for the pin at 4:15.
Cannon comes up to Tatsu and says he’s sorry for last week and that he thinks Maryse likes Tatsu. He points out that Maryse is right over there so Tatsu should ask her out. Tatsu does, apparently not caring that DiBiase is right next to her and gets beaten up as he should. Maryse yells at Ted but Ted says Yoshi couldn’t afford Maryse, which makes Maryse leave with him, seemingly willingly.
Long video on the Hall of Fame class of 2011. Carey was gracious at least and acknowledged he didn’t do much. Why Bob Armstrong is in there is beyond me.
Kozlov brags to JTG about how his rookie beat JTG’s rookie. JTG says Novak’s rookie is generic. JTG’s rookie is Jacob Novak if you’ve forgotten. This is like some weird argument at a little league game. They make an unspecified wager on who can make their rookie look better first.
Darren Young/Chavo Guerrero vs. Hornswoggle/Titus O’Neil
Make this quick. The rookies start us off as we debate whether or not Titus should ever tag in Horny. Titus has an incredible look but he looks like he’s had a total of 9 seconds of ring time. Horny doesn’t want a tag so it’s Titus vs. Chavo. We hear the history of Chavo vs. Horny as my head shakes. Chavo does what he can but he’s not a miracle worker.
Horny tags himself in and the pop is of course big. Horny wants Young and what the leprechaun wants the leprechaun gets. Young gets on his knees as we waste a lot of time. They actually do a test of strength and Horny kicks him in the ribs. There’s the tag back to Titus who gets a powerslam and barks. Chavo gets knocked to the floor which is called a tag and Titus lays down for the frog splash. Horny bites Chavo’s leg and hides under the ring to prevent the move. Young comes at Titus but walks into the Sky High (I heard this was called the Clash of the Titan but I’m not sure) to end it at 4:30.
We get the full Rock/Cena thing from last night. I’m not sure if they’re going to make it all the way to Wrestlemania and I’m not sure if it’s a great idea, but it’s certainly something worth paying attention to. Rock saying he respects Cena and getting booed for it does not come off as a good sign at all though. Fashion advice from the Tooth Fairy is still a good line. I still don’t get the Corre’s involvement or why Booker laughed when they came out.
Yoshi Tatsu vs. Ted DiBiase
Well at least this has some build to it. We also get Tatsu’s awesome song so that helps a lot. Regal talks about fighting a hunchback over a tattooed dwarf, incorporating a Percy Sledge song in the same sentence. DiBiase takes him down quickly and gets a double stomp off the middle rope. Regal says getting rid of Maryse would enhance his career. Grisham says that Tatsu would like to have his samurai sword pierce her heart. Wouldn’t that kill her??? He also calls this a Haku as Regal said it was poetic. And then Ted goes off on Tatsu and gets disqualified for beating on him too much at 2:00. Ok then.
Maryse yells at DiBiase so DiBiase says it’s NXT or him and she has a week to decide.
Results
Byron Saxton won the Hot Seat Trivia Challenge
Conor O’Brian b. Jacob Novak – Rollup
Titus O’Neil/Hornswoggle b. Chavo Guerrero/Darren Young - Sitout Powerbomb
Yoshi Tatsu b. Ted DiBiase via DQ when DiBiase repeatedly punched Tatsu
Wednesday
CM Punk blasted the NXT rookies over being dull. Can’t say I blame him.
Matt Hardy and his girlfriend got in an argument/incident at a bar in Atlanta over Mania weekend. From what I can find Matt started it and the behavior was described as something he would get fired for from any other company.
Thursday
WWE is officially that: WWE. It’s no longer World Wrestling Entertainment. I give up.
Scott Hall overdosed apparently. I’m sorry but I cannot bring myself to care again.
Impact
Date: April 7, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay
Episode Title: The Rise of the Fallen Angel
After two back to back solid shows we now have two shows before Impact and now have the returning Christopher Daniels to replace AJ Styles in Lethal Lockdown. Also we now have the main event set for the world title match as it’s Sting vs. RVD vs. Anderson which is probably the best option. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Daniels’ return last week and presumably him being named to the Fourtune team at Lockdown.
Here’s Fourtune to open the show. Daniels talks about how he’s been in and out of TNA a bunch of times now. He’s had good times and bad times here but that’s not what matters because that’s the wrestling business. What matters are the friendships you make in the business, like the one he made eight years ago with a guy named AJ Styles. After seeing what Bully Ray did a few weeks ago, he knew it was time to come back. He asks Fourtune if he can be on the team at Lockdown, but before they can answer here’s Immortal.
In this case it’s Flair, Ray, Matt and Abyss. Flair says this is beyond fixing and rants about how this is wrestling and Daniels is nothing in this business. There’s an offer to Daniels to leave now because someone is going to get hurt at Lockdown. Daniels also has no contract so he needs to get out of here because he’s not going to be able to wrestle at the PPV. Daniels says that Hogan, Flair and Bischoff aren’t going to matter because the Network says they want him here.
Cue Hogan and Bischoff who say that what the Network wants they get, so tonight it’s Daniels vs. Ray. Ray gets in Daniels’ face and talks about how Daniels should go back to California and put on more makeup. Daniels drills him and Hogan wants security who comes out and breaks it up.
Anderson is in the back on a laptop but sees a note for him. It says “Last week was just a trailer. Tonight it’s SHOWTIME! Your friend, Stinger”. He starts singing a version of the theme to Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood and goes back to his laptop.
Back with Hogan complaining about the Network and he thinks the Network has a wrestler in it because they think like a wrestler. He slams the door in the face of the cameraman as he rants about them.
Hernandez/Anarquia vs. Tommy Dreamer/D-Von
Well this is kind of an odd team. Tenay asks who better than Dreamer for D-Von to recruit. …a lot of people Tenay! D-Von and Anarquia start but this stops being anything resembling a tag match very quickly. What’s Up to Anarquia and then everything breaks down even further. Rosita gets in the ring and D-Von kisses her, which allows Anarquia to pop D-Von with a chair and Hernandez falls on top for the pin at 2:00. Barely even a match.
Post match the girls roll back the mats on the floor and Hernandez teases a Border Toss to Dreamer to the concrete but Matt Morgan makes the save and we take a break.
Back and Winter is brainwashing Angelina some more. Winter says she loves her. Angelina is drinking that drink again.
Samoa Joe vs. Murphy
Pope is on commentary of course. Murphy jumps him to start as Tenay talks to Pope about the beginning of this angle for some reason. And the Koquina Clutch ends this in 46 seconds. Joe chases Pope off.
Anderson is looking for someone but stops to get coffee. And there’s a note for him there too. This one says “Once an asshole, always an asshole. Tonight let’s finish what we started Kenny Boy. Stinger.” Anderson destroys the coffee stuff.
Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. Rosita/Sarita
Angelina Love is in a trance here and can’t even do the entrance. Sarita jumps Velvet as she gets in which doesn’t last long. Angelina keeps staring forward. Off to Rosita now who Velvet beats up also. Angelina doesn’t react to an offer of a tag at all. Winter comes to the stage and makes a sign of snap her in half so Angelina stuns Velvet over the ropes and hammers away at her. Rosita gets the easy pin at 2:00.
Anderson is looking for Sting and has a pipe. He runs into Jordan and Young and Young says Sting is probably in the rafters. Jordan says he’s into Anderson’s asshole thing.
Jeff Jarrett has a Lockdown promise for Angle later.
Back with Anderson searching the rafters for Sting and finds….nothing. Someone is following him though and the person seems to be kind of tall. It doesn’t appear to be Sting as the hair is too short. Oh it’s RVD. He says it’s 4:20 so Anderson is about to get smoked. Good looking knees to the face of Anderson as this is a total beating. RVD falls down carrying him off but locks a modified triangle choke on Anderson who has no room to move around at all in the confined space. Van Dam says that wouldn’t be enough to beat Sting and chokes Anderson out with the pipe as we go to another break.
After a quick video on RVD and Anderson and a recap of what we just saw, here’s Sting, calling out RVD. Sting apologizes to RVD for what he did to him last year and says that he’s here to get rid of Hogan and Bischoff. Hogan and Bischoff make RVD vs. Sting for tonight, presumably non-title.
Tara says Madison is insane and she won’t do what Madison wants her to do. Madison says Tara has a job because of Madison. They get on the motorcycle and leave. No idea where to.
Generation Me/Robbie E vs. Brian Kendrick/Chris Sabin/Suicide
Where did they did some of these guys up from? Sabin vs. Robbie to start and the face team destroys Robbie one by one. Suicide hammers on Max as there isn’t much to say here. This is to hype up the X-Division Xscape match at Lockdown. Off to Kendrick who destroys everything in sight and it all breaks down quickly. Jeremy sets for something off the top but Max crotches him and DDTs him off the top. Kendrick steals the pin at 4:40.
Hogan yells at Immortal and has Gunner slap Rob Terry and someone else that I couldn’t recognize. Anderson comes in with the pipe and is tired of getting beaten up every week so he asks Hogan for a favor. Anderson offers his “support” in exchange for protection and shakes hands with Hogan. He’s now the referee in the main event and Hogan says take the pipe with you.
We see Madison and Tara leaving Mickie laying and speeding off on the bike.
Back with medics looking at Mickie.
Bully Ray vs. Christopher Daniels
This is a lumberjack match so we can have our big pull apart brawl. Ray controls early but Daniels manages to send him to the floor for a bit. He lands in front of Immortal though so no harm befalls him. Back in and Ray drills him with some loud chops to take over again. Ray tries to get the chain in but that gets him nowhere. Daniels gets an enziguri and a rana to take over. Running STO sets up the BME which gets the long two as Flair pulls the referee out. Somehow that isn’t a DQ and the brawl allows Hogan to pop Daniels with the chain for the pin at 6:25.
After a break, here’s Jarrett in the cage. He talks about Kurt being arrested last week like a common street thug. He says that if the cage match had happened a few months ago, the cops would have arrested him (Jarrett) for hurting Angle. The kids won’t be visiting Angle in prison because they need more of Daddy Jeff at the moment.
There’s some kind of special entrance set up for Karen but it’s Kurt’s theme instead. He flies in like Spider-Man and locks the door. Kurt runs into the cameraman and Jarrett (and Karen who came out) run. This is all they put the cage up for?
Back and Kurt says he’s going to hurt Jeff at Lockdown. Oh and the Network says there will be a stipulation for the match. No word on what that is.
Rob Van Dam vs. Sting
Anderson is referee and this is non-title. Sting grabs a headlock to start but Van Dam breaks that and gets some kicks from the middle and top rope. Rolling Thunder gets two. RVD argues about the count but it was fine. Stinger Splash gets two and Sting argues a bit also. There’s the Scorpion Death Drop out of nowhere but Anderson drops Sting with the Mic Check. He counts them both out and jumps from 1 to 6 and then to 9 in about 3 seconds. Five Star to Sting ends this at 3:16.
Anderson lays RVD out with the belt and asks Van Dam about the rematch. Terry and Murphy come out and put Anderson on their shoulders to end the show. Hogan comes out to clap. Apparently we’re not done yet as it’s a Mic Check for Terry and Murphy. Well at least they didn’t go with the obvious ending. He points the pipe at Hogan and says he’s next. Hogan rants about Anderson to really end the show.
Results
Anarquia/Hernandez b. D-Von/Tommy Dreamer – Hernandez pinned D-Von after a chair shot from Anarquia
Samoa Joe b. Murphy – Koquina Clutch
Rosita/Sarita b. Beautiful People – Rosita pinned Sky after Love attacked Sky
Chris Sabin/Brian Kendrick/Suicide b. Generation Me/Robbie E – Kendrick pinned Jeremy Buck after a DDT from Max Buck
Friday
Impact got a 1.2. Yeah I’m stunned too.
Hall appears to be ok. Maybe he isn’t but it’s better than saying “yes he O.D.ed.”
Smackdown
Date: April 8, 2011
Location: Times Union Center, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
We’re kind of in the new year here on Fridays as Edge is still World Champion. Tonight we’ll probably start the build to Extreme Rules. Since we’ve kind of passed go here, it’s rather hard to tell what else is going to go on. It should be interesting as things usually are on this show. Let’s get to it.
The theme song opens us up. I guess the enemy this week is wrestling as this isn’t a wrestling company anymore. The fact that Vince thinks this will get them more accepted by the mainstream is absolutely hysterical and head shaking at the same time.
Cue Alberto minus his car. Is there a reason why he doesn’t have one as he apparently has like 50 of them? He says that destiny can be delayed as it was at Wrestlemania. He blames Edge and Christian for delaying his destiny and destroying his car. It’s not about the money though, but those cars are like his children. He starts to talk about revenge but is cut off by Edge.
Edge comes out in a tow truck which is pulling the Rolls Royce. Nice bit there. He says that if this car is like his child, Del Rio needs to love it unconditionally. With a little tender loving care it can be fine again. Edge pulls out some spray paint and writes something that I think was just scribbles. Del Rio says he almost got him to tap out at Mania but Edge points out that he didn’t do it. Alberto wants a rematch and Edge says no because there are people more deserving of title shots.
The driver of the tow truck honks the horn and it’s Christian. Edge says Christian has beaten Del Rio multiple times so obviously Christian is ahead of Del Rio in line. Here’s Teddy who makes Del Rio vs. Christian for the shot at Extreme Rules. The match at the PPV will be a ladder match.
We’ll get to see Cena and Rock again tonight. By that I mean the same thing from Raw. They say highlights though which helps a bit.
There’s a rematch of the 8 man tag from Mania next that Josh says has a twist tonight that they’ll explain when we come back. Now I’m no genius, but given that the graphic of the match says “2 out of 3 falls”, I’m thinking it’s in a cage. I could be wrong though.
Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella
We get a clip from the PPV of Show knocking out Slater and that looked AWESOME. Kofi’s tights are lime green tonight. It looked like there was a small edit during Kofi’s entrance but I could be wrong. The video and song seemed to jump forward a bit. Gabriel vs. Santino to start us off. Slater comes in quickly and Corre takes over. Remember that this is 2/3 falls.
Santino reverses a right hand into a throw and it’s off to Kane. Show beats on him for a bit also and we get the Andre/Snuka splash with Kofi on top of Slater for two. He sets for Trouble in Paradise but Gabriel and Barrett make the save as we go to a break. Back with Kane working over the Intercontinental Champion in the corner. Booker sounds out of breath for some reason.
Off to Jackson to face Kane. Jackson gets Kane into the corner and Corre alternates in and out very quickly to hammer away on him. Finally it’s off to Gabriel who gets a missile dropkick on Kane for two. Kane finally remembers he’s fighting a cruiserweight and launches Gabriel to the mat. Off to Kofi who cleans house and gets the first fall off a top rope cross body at 5:30 shown of 9:00. Kofi looks shocked that he actually got a pin.
We take another break and come back with Slater vs. Santino. Booker keeps going on and on about being ahead on points or something like that. Santino escapes a sleeper but is taken down by a forearm for two. Santino speeds things up and loads up the Cobra (I still can’t believe a move that Jon Lovitz taught him caught on like it did) but gets his head kicked off by Barrett. Wasteland ties us up at 7:23 shown of 14:23.
Why doesn’t Barrett just cover him again? There was no mention of a rest period or anything like that. Barrett hammers away and it’s off to Slater again. Jackson comes in and this should be a slaughter. Clothesline in the corner gets two as Big Show DIVES to make the save. Off to Gabriel and we hit the chinlock. Show starts a weak Santino chant.
Gabriel misses a cannonball kind of move and it’s off to Kane. Big side slam to Barrett gets two as does the top rope clothesline. Everything breaks down as Corre takes over. Kane sets for a chokeslam but all of Corre comes in to take him out for the DQ in the third fall at 11:10 shown of 18:10 (assuming 3:30 for commercials. I watch a preairing from Australia so it’s hard to say for sure).
The winners beat up Corre post match, including a triple (Santino helped) chokeslam to Jackson.
Sin Cara is still coming, even though he’s already been on Raw.
Cody Rhodes vs. Trent Barreta
I love Cody’s character right now. At the forums I post on someone made a great point: Cody’s reaction to this is all the more psychological because everyone can see he looks exactly the same but in his mind he’s hideous now. That’s very interesting. Cody takes him down quickly and hammers away. Trent gets a springboard dropkick to get two though so maybe this won’t be a total squash. Russian leg sweep gets two for Cody. This is the aggressive Rhodes as he sends Trent into the post shoulder first and Cross Rhodes ends this at 1:30. Ok so maybe it was a squash. Too short to rate.
Post match Cody beats on Trent some more until Rey makes the save.
We get the Rock vs. Cena confrontation from Raw again. Eats up almost 15 minutes. I get that it’s a major moment, but you could easily trim it down by at least half. There’s no real need to use 1/8 of your total show and about 1/5 of your TV time to just show a segment from the more watched show. I get that it’s huge, but they do this every week. I’m curious about Corre if nothing else.
Edge says he hopes Christian wins because he’d love to have a ladder match with Christian. Christian implies he’d win in the ladder match and says Edge can cheer for Alberto if he likes. The camera stays on Christian after Edge leaves and he looks at the belt which Edge forgot. Edge comes back and Christian says keep an eye on that, referring to the belt. No sign of tension or anything here.
Laycool vs. Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix
Is Natalya injured or something? I haven’t seen her in months. Apparently she’s been on Superstars. Ok then. Josh asks Cole why he’s not in his singlet tonight. Cole almost says he’s not wrestling tonight but cuts himself off to say entertaining. The level of idiocy of this continues to astound me. So remember people: this is an entertainment feature, not a match. So in other words we have girls in small outfits performing choreographed moves while coming out to hip hop/R&B music while on a platform above the guests and gyrating around with other women. Sound familiar to anyone else?
Beth vs. Michelle to start us off with Beth destroying her. Michelle is knocked into Layla so Layla is yelled at. Backbreaker gets two for Beth. Layla is tagged in as Laycool argues. After a scary press slam, Kelly is brought in and does her Tarantula kind of move to Layla. X Factor gets two. Layla reaches for a tag and McCool falls to the floor like Layla did, allowing Kelly to roll Layla up for the pin at 2:50. Far more story advancement than match and that’s fine.
Laycool argues in the aisle.
We get a clip from Raw of Cole spraying barbecue sauce on Lawler. In the arena Cole asks who shot JR. HE DID! Cole brings out Swagger who says training Cole was easy because Cole is smart and talented. Swagger declares Cole the new Mr. Wrestlemania. They take a victory lap but some music hits. It’s Sin Cara who does his trampoline jump into the ring and takes Swagger down using a variety of speed moves including a corkscrew plancha to the floor.
We get the end of the Miz/Austin clip from Raw which was good.
Layla comes up to Michelle in the back and hands her a paper. They’re going to have couples counseling. Michelle says they’re not a couple. Layla says just show up.
Decent length video recapping the Hall of Fame inductions.
Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio
Lot of time for this one. We take a break before Christian’s entrance which is a nice perk because it means there will be some more time before the first break in the match. Edge comes out to be on commentary. Edge isn’t sure who he prefers to face as Christian is good with the ladders also. Edge has been in 19 ladder matches. That’s insane.
Christian takes Del Rio down with a headlock to start us off. Both are sent to the floor at different times with Christian being the last one in the ring. Big dropkick sends Del Rio crashing onto the floor again. We take a break and come back with Christian being slammed into the steps. Del Rio takes over and chokes him on the ropes back in the ring.
Time to start on the arm now as is Del Rio’s custom. Christian fires off a bit right hand and goes up which gets him nowhere. Well he went up but it didn’t advance him in the match anywhere. Maybe I should just move on. Superplex puts both guys down and Christian plays possum to get a cradle for two. Edge is ripping into Cole here and it’s rather funny stuff.
Back to the floor again with both guys via a Cactus Clothesline from Christian. Better than up their noses with a rubber hose I guess. Christian fights back and gets an elbow off the middle rope for two. Top rope cross body gets two. Ricky Steamboat he is not. Killswitch is reversed into an attempt at the armbreaker but that is broken up also. Del Rio sends him into the corner and grabs the armbreaker but Christian gets a rope. Christian sets for something but Brodus stops him. Edge spears Brodus but the distraction allows Del Rio to hit the enziguri off the top for the pin at 10:30 shown of 14:00.
Results
Kane/Big Show/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston b. Corre via DQ when all four members of Corre were in the ring at the same time
Cody Rhodes b. Trent Barreta – Cross Rhodes
Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly b. Laycool – Kelly Kelly pinned Layla with a rollup
Alberto Del Rio b. Christian – Enziguri
Saturday
Hall appeared at an indy show on Saturday and couldn’t walk, could barely talk, and had to be taken from the ring. Rather sad.
Sunday
Nothing of note tonight.
Quick Results
Raw
Jerry Lawler b. Jack Swagger via DQ when Swagger wouldn’t break the ankle lock
Randy Orton/Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk/Cody Rhodes – RKO to Rhodes
Alberto Del Rio b. Evan Bourne – Cross Armbreaker
Trish Stratus/John Morrison b. Dolph Ziggler/Vickie Guerrero – Starship Pain to Ziggler
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick
NXT
Byron Saxton won the Hot Seat Trivia Challenge
Conor O’Brian b. Jacob Novak – Rollup
Titus O’Neil/Hornswoggle b. Chavo Guerrero/Darren Young - Sitout powerbomb
Yoshi Tatsu b. Ted DiBiase via DQ when DiBiase repeatedly punched Tatsu
Impact
Anarquia/Hernandez b. D-Von/Tommy Dreamer – Hernandez pinned D-Von after a chair shot from Anarquia
Samoa Joe b. Murphy – Koquina Clutch
Rosita/Sarita b. Beautiful People – Rosita pinned Sky after Love attacked Sky
Chris Sabin/Brian Kendrick/Suicide b. Generation Me/Robbie E – Kendrick pinned Jeremy Buck after a DDT from Max Buck
Smackdown
Kane/Big Show/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston b. Corre via DQ when all four members of Corre were in the ring at the same time
Cody Rhodes b. Trent Barreta – Cross Rhodes
Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly b. Laycool – Kelly Kelly pinned Layla with a rollup
Alberto Del Rio b. Christian – Enziguri
Smackdown got a 1.94, the same as last week.
Kurt Angle got on Twitter and complained about guys at Mania stealing his moves. Today he claims that his account was hacked. CM Punk responded by saying “"my twitter account was hacked", is the new: "I'm a sloppy drunk douche". Rock the hell on.
Monday Night Raw
Date: April 4, 2011
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We’re finally on the other side of Wrestlemania and not a ton has changed on Raw. The Miz is still champion, Cole can still run his mouth (I still don’t get that one) and Rock vs. Cena is still going on. Tonight we begin the build up to Extreme Rules and also have the debut of Sin Cara which is something a lot of people have been looking forward to. Let’s get to it.
Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are on commentary to open us up. Whoa.
John Cena will call out the Rock tonight.
HHH opens us up wearing sunglasses for some reason, possibly a black eye. He talks about being incredibly nervous last night and even mentions wrestling him at Wrestlemania before but it was nothing like this. Big bruise on the left hand (his left) side of the Game’s forehead. HHH says he hit Taker as hard as he’s ever hit anyone and they left it all in the ring last night, but for him it wasn’t good enough.
No one has ever taken the pain like Taker has and HHH doesn’t know what to do. The crowd looks HUGE here and the Cole Mine is at ringside with caution tape over it. It was a man that was carted off last night and a lot of people are saying he’s done now. He wants to say one thing. He takes off the glasses and there’s tape on his nose. HHH says thank you to the Undertaker for giving him the fight of his life last night. Undertaker will be back and HHH will be waiting. The fans give him a standing ovation as he leaves.
Apparently Cole is going to invite Lawler out for a match, which is why Lawler has some pads on.
Austin is here tonight and will introduce the cast of Tough Enough.
Jerry is talking to JR about his match last night when Cole comes out in his gear. Jerry doesn’t seem incredibly bothered by the outcome last night. With Shawn now in the Hall of Fame and Cole at 1-0, he‘s the new Mr. Wrestlemania. Jerry says that Cole needs to shut up because a computer beat him. Lawler says he had Cole screaming like a little girl. Cole says how about a rematch (Cole never says with him) and Jerry says let’s do it right now. Cole says not with him, but with Swagger.
Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger
They slug it out a bit and Swagger takes over. A charge into the corner misses and Lawler hammers away but can’t get anywhere. The fans are hot for Jerry. That didn’t sound right. Slam by Swagger but he misses a leg drop. Vader Bomb misses and the Titantron seems to be flickering. Lawler hammers away and gets a dropkick. King goes for the middle rope punch but Cole comes in. Jerry goes after him, only to get locked in the ankle lock for the tap out at 3:55. Swagger won’t let go though and the decision is reversed.
Post match Cole goes into the Cole Mine and finds JR’s Barbecue Sauce. He gets ticked off and sprays it on JR who chases him to the back. So now we have no commentary.
Punk/Rhodes vs. Mysterio/Orton next.
Back with Cole ranting about JR. He’s on commentary now with Booker and Josh.
CM Punk/Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio/CM Punk
Orton and Rhodes give us a Legacy reunion to start us off. Rey comes in and gets a shot to the face, sending Cody to the floor as we take a break. Back with Orton vs. Rhodes again as Randy drops the knee of him for two. Off to Rey who gets beaten down. Cody gets caught in a small package and it’s off to Orton again.
Punk tries to wrap the bad leg around the post but gets sent into the barricade. Chop block by Cody and Randy is in trouble. Punk sets for the GTS but like any good villain, waits too long and Orton escapes. RKO doesn’t work and it’s back to the leg as we take a second break. When do you ever see that anymore?
Back with Orton in a leg drop but he almost immediately gets a hot tag to Rey who comes in with a seated senton to Punk. He sets for the 619 but Rhodes gets the Beautiful Disaster to take Rey’s head off on the way for two. Back off to Cody who hammers away on Rey even more. Punk works on the arm a bit more as we hit the 15:00 mark for the first time in forever on Raw.
Double tag brings in Orton to use his vast array of clotheslines on Rhodes. The fans are wide awake now after being a bit quiet earlier. Elevated DDT to Rhodes and Randy goes into his zone. HUGE pop for the possibility of the RKO too. Punk distracts so Orton settles for the Angle Slam, likely resulting in that mean old hacker going after the completely innocent Kurt’s Twitter again. 619 sets up the RKO to end it at 16:32.
Austin is heading to the ring and runs into HHH. They shake hands and Austin says it was a hell of a match and wants to be there if it happens again. These moments between the big three are pretty awesome.
Sin Cara is coming. Still.
Here’s Austin to talk about Tough Enough. He brings out the kids to his ring. There are 14 of them. The trainers are Bill DeMott, Trish Stratus and Booker T. There’s only going to be one winner. They all get to introduce themselves and Austin gets annoyed when one guy talks too long. I won’t go through all of them as there’s not much to say. One looks almost exactly like Alicia Fox. Miss USA gets a nice ovation looks rather good. One girl is Latina and speaks Spanish. One is named Eric Watts but thankfully it’s not the more famous version.
They get done and the fans chant “stun them all”. Apparently that girl that looks like Fox does so for a reason: it’s her sister. Austin talks a bit more and here are Miz and Riley (in a tux). Austin says no one is ever going to tell him about being tough or having valor again. We see a clip of Miz getting speared to the floor last night and apparently getting a concussion. I wouldn’t doubt it for a second after his head bounced off that concrete.
Miz heads to the ring and tells the rookies to take a long look at them. He offers Austin a chance to hold his belt. He says Austin thinks he has one more run in him. The fans chant one more match and Miz challenges him to one more match right now. Austin says clear the ring and Miz jumps him. He runs off and it’s down to Austin and Riley.
Riley hammers away but Austin remembers that he’s Austin and beats the tar out of him with the Thesz Press and FU elbow. Big old Stunner sends Riley to the floor. He tosses beers to the Tough Enough kids and the fans aren’t thrilled. Austin walks over to Cole and pours some beer in the Cole Mine.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Evan Bourne
No car tonight. Cole talks about how Austin pouring beer on him was him showing how impressed Austin was and initiating him into the brotherhood. Points to Cole for trying as hard as he can here. Alberto controls early but gets caught by a spin kick. That’s about the extent of Bourne’s offense there though as down he goes. Out to the floor and it’s all Del Rio. Chinlock by Alberto and Bourne starts his comeback with various strikes and rollups that get him nowhere. Bourne goes up but the enziguri sets up the Cross Armbreaker to end it at 2:42. Just a squash.
We get a video on Axxess from the previous week. These are cool things to do and it makes WWE look good which is always a good thing.
Cole talks about giving Lawler a rematch next year in the art show but is interrupted by Vickie. She blames Laycool for the loss last night and is in tights. Ziggler wants a mixed tag RIGHT NOW. They head to the ring and we take a break.
Dolph Ziggler/Vickie Guerrero vs. John Morrison/Trish Stratus
Obviously the match is accepted and the guys start us off. Off to the girls after some basic stuff and Vickie actually beats trish up a bit. Something resembling a leg drop misses and it’s back to Morrison. Ziggler gets a big clothesline to turn Morroison inside out and Trish has to save. Dolph gets in his face so she drills him. Moonlight Drive KILLS Ziggler and Starship Pain ends this clean at 3:27.
US Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan
Bryan has the ring jacket back and Sheamus now wears red, white and blue. Sheamus throws him around to start and takes his head off with a double axe handle. Cole talks about how awesome he is again and Sheamus hammers away on Bryan even more. Bryan rolls out of a chinlock but gets caught in a tilt-a-while backbreaker which is now called the Irish Curse by Cole.
Bryan starts his comeback with some clotheslines and a running knee strike for two. Sheamus kicks him in the knee and tries the real Irish Curse which is countered into the LeBell Lock which can’t go all the way on. Brogue Kick ends this at 3:59. Not much here and Bryan was never in any real sense of control.
With Sheamus posing the lights go out and it’s SIN CARA! He points at Sheamus and charges the ring, diving over the rop rope and hitting all kinds of high spots, sending Sheamus to the floor and hitting a HUGE dive from the top to the floor, taking out Sheamus. This is like Rey Mysterio back in 96 which if you’re familiar with him is a huge compliment.
Here’s Cena to more insane booing. He says that there was a guy who said he was coming to Wrestlemania to whip some candy ass and Cena is glad he did because otherwise the ending of Wrestlemania would have been a draw. That’s a good point actually. Cena congratulates Miz on coming into and leaving Wrestlemania as the champion. He says that Miz has earned the people’s respect.
That brings him back to that certain someone. That someone doesn’t like Cena that much but he’s here tonight. He was supposed to be the guest host of Wrestlemania but very quickly got into some business. That would be Cena’s business, meaning they have business to settle right now.
Cue Rock to an eruption. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles. Rock says that of course he got involved. Just because Rock has been away that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know about Cena. Cena lives and breathes WWE and Rock says that he is one of the best WWE Champions and superstars of all time. However, Rock just doesn’t like him.
Rock says they’re very different but they both want to be the best. Well other than where they shop as Rock goes to department stores (I guess they sell sleeveless Brahma Bull shirts and workout pants at department stores now) and Cena shops at Baby Gap. Cena: “Oh great. Fashion advice from the Tooth Fairy.”
Cena says Rock is the man of the people and the people want to see one match. Never else can you see a match like this so does Rock want to talk or does Rock want to bring it. Cena takes the hat and shirt off and Rock says he has no idea what he just asked for. Rock says he'll bring it, but let's bring it on the grandest stage of them all. Rock vs. Cena, Wrestlemania 28. Rock sticks out his hand and Cena shakes it, ending the show. Wow are they really going to wait that long?
The music looks to end it and.....here's THE CORRE??? Rock and Cena fight them off and it's a People's Elbow for Barrett followed by an FU for Slater. Cena's music plays but Rock hits a Rock Bottom on Gabriel. They stare each other down again and Rock says he'll see him at Wrestlemania. They shake hands again and Cena leaves, ending the show.
Results
Jerry Lawler b. Jack Swagger via DQ when Swagger wouldn’t break the ankle lock
Randy Orton/Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk/Cody Rhodes – RKO to Rhodes
Alberto Del Rio b. Evan Bourne – Cross Armbreaker
Trish Stratus/John Morrison b. Dolph Ziggler/Vickie Guerrero – Starship Pain to Ziggler
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.8. Have to think they’re happy with that as it’s the same as pre-Mania.
NXT
Date: April 5, 2011
Location: Times Union Center, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal
This is week number five and now we’re back to the regular kind of NXT shows where we only lose 10 minutes a week to the main show building stuff. The season needs to get moving along though as we haven’t heard about an elimination yet and I can’t take much more Jacob Novak. Anyway this is kind of a new year show in the WWE logic so maybe the energy from last night will carry over here. Let’s get to it.
Now that I’ve found what city this is in, we can get going. WWE.com recently redesigned, making it a lot harder to
We bring out the rookies and go over the scores. O’Neil has 9 points, Young has 7 and everyone else has zero. The first challenge is a trivia game. The idea is a category is named and you have to give an answer in that category as we go down the line. First up is Wrestlemania 27 winners. Young says Bret Hart right off the bat and is gone. Cannon asks where Matt’s girlfriend was last night because Cannon does. O’Brian can’t come up with anything.
Next category is 2011 HOF inductees. We have Novak, O’Neil and Saxton left. Novak is gone because he repeats Bob Armstrong. Category 3 is name any former NXT rookie. After saying themselves they list off the Nexus and this goes on for awhile. No girls named yet until Titus repeats Saxton and gives Saxton the win and 4 points. I’d bet almost anything on him winning whatever match he’s in tonight.
Titus/Horny vs. Young/Chavo tonight. Yes, it’s Chavo vs. Hornswoggle again.
Jacob Novak vs. Conor O’Brian
Kozlov’s arm is in a sling. Conor works on the arm to start as we talk about the color of Novak’s tights. Now he works the leg. I think this is supposed to be a long running feud on NXT. The problem with this is that Rat Boy is the far better of the two, which coming from me you know isn’t a good thing. Novak takes over with various stuff and gets a neckbreaker for two.
We hit the chinlock with O’Brian in trouble. Regal talks about the NXT guys going around at Mania weekend and picking the brains of legends and pros, which is a good job by Regal of playing up the whole “they’re rookies” thing. Regal insists he never threw European Uppercuts but rather British Uppercuts. While he goes on about that, O’Brian rolls Novak up for the pin at 4:15.
Cannon comes up to Tatsu and says he’s sorry for last week and that he thinks Maryse likes Tatsu. He points out that Maryse is right over there so Tatsu should ask her out. Tatsu does, apparently not caring that DiBiase is right next to her and gets beaten up as he should. Maryse yells at Ted but Ted says Yoshi couldn’t afford Maryse, which makes Maryse leave with him, seemingly willingly.
Long video on the Hall of Fame class of 2011. Carey was gracious at least and acknowledged he didn’t do much. Why Bob Armstrong is in there is beyond me.
Kozlov brags to JTG about how his rookie beat JTG’s rookie. JTG says Novak’s rookie is generic. JTG’s rookie is Jacob Novak if you’ve forgotten. This is like some weird argument at a little league game. They make an unspecified wager on who can make their rookie look better first.
Darren Young/Chavo Guerrero vs. Hornswoggle/Titus O’Neil
Make this quick. The rookies start us off as we debate whether or not Titus should ever tag in Horny. Titus has an incredible look but he looks like he’s had a total of 9 seconds of ring time. Horny doesn’t want a tag so it’s Titus vs. Chavo. We hear the history of Chavo vs. Horny as my head shakes. Chavo does what he can but he’s not a miracle worker.
Horny tags himself in and the pop is of course big. Horny wants Young and what the leprechaun wants the leprechaun gets. Young gets on his knees as we waste a lot of time. They actually do a test of strength and Horny kicks him in the ribs. There’s the tag back to Titus who gets a powerslam and barks. Chavo gets knocked to the floor which is called a tag and Titus lays down for the frog splash. Horny bites Chavo’s leg and hides under the ring to prevent the move. Young comes at Titus but walks into the Sky High (I heard this was called the Clash of the Titan but I’m not sure) to end it at 4:30.
We get the full Rock/Cena thing from last night. I’m not sure if they’re going to make it all the way to Wrestlemania and I’m not sure if it’s a great idea, but it’s certainly something worth paying attention to. Rock saying he respects Cena and getting booed for it does not come off as a good sign at all though. Fashion advice from the Tooth Fairy is still a good line. I still don’t get the Corre’s involvement or why Booker laughed when they came out.
Yoshi Tatsu vs. Ted DiBiase
Well at least this has some build to it. We also get Tatsu’s awesome song so that helps a lot. Regal talks about fighting a hunchback over a tattooed dwarf, incorporating a Percy Sledge song in the same sentence. DiBiase takes him down quickly and gets a double stomp off the middle rope. Regal says getting rid of Maryse would enhance his career. Grisham says that Tatsu would like to have his samurai sword pierce her heart. Wouldn’t that kill her??? He also calls this a Haku as Regal said it was poetic. And then Ted goes off on Tatsu and gets disqualified for beating on him too much at 2:00. Ok then.
Maryse yells at DiBiase so DiBiase says it’s NXT or him and she has a week to decide.
Results
Byron Saxton won the Hot Seat Trivia Challenge
Conor O’Brian b. Jacob Novak – Rollup
Titus O’Neil/Hornswoggle b. Chavo Guerrero/Darren Young - Sitout Powerbomb
Yoshi Tatsu b. Ted DiBiase via DQ when DiBiase repeatedly punched Tatsu
Wednesday
CM Punk blasted the NXT rookies over being dull. Can’t say I blame him.
Matt Hardy and his girlfriend got in an argument/incident at a bar in Atlanta over Mania weekend. From what I can find Matt started it and the behavior was described as something he would get fired for from any other company.
Thursday
WWE is officially that: WWE. It’s no longer World Wrestling Entertainment. I give up.
Scott Hall overdosed apparently. I’m sorry but I cannot bring myself to care again.
Impact
Date: April 7, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay
Episode Title: The Rise of the Fallen Angel
After two back to back solid shows we now have two shows before Impact and now have the returning Christopher Daniels to replace AJ Styles in Lethal Lockdown. Also we now have the main event set for the world title match as it’s Sting vs. RVD vs. Anderson which is probably the best option. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Daniels’ return last week and presumably him being named to the Fourtune team at Lockdown.
Here’s Fourtune to open the show. Daniels talks about how he’s been in and out of TNA a bunch of times now. He’s had good times and bad times here but that’s not what matters because that’s the wrestling business. What matters are the friendships you make in the business, like the one he made eight years ago with a guy named AJ Styles. After seeing what Bully Ray did a few weeks ago, he knew it was time to come back. He asks Fourtune if he can be on the team at Lockdown, but before they can answer here’s Immortal.
In this case it’s Flair, Ray, Matt and Abyss. Flair says this is beyond fixing and rants about how this is wrestling and Daniels is nothing in this business. There’s an offer to Daniels to leave now because someone is going to get hurt at Lockdown. Daniels also has no contract so he needs to get out of here because he’s not going to be able to wrestle at the PPV. Daniels says that Hogan, Flair and Bischoff aren’t going to matter because the Network says they want him here.
Cue Hogan and Bischoff who say that what the Network wants they get, so tonight it’s Daniels vs. Ray. Ray gets in Daniels’ face and talks about how Daniels should go back to California and put on more makeup. Daniels drills him and Hogan wants security who comes out and breaks it up.
Anderson is in the back on a laptop but sees a note for him. It says “Last week was just a trailer. Tonight it’s SHOWTIME! Your friend, Stinger”. He starts singing a version of the theme to Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood and goes back to his laptop.
Back with Hogan complaining about the Network and he thinks the Network has a wrestler in it because they think like a wrestler. He slams the door in the face of the cameraman as he rants about them.
Hernandez/Anarquia vs. Tommy Dreamer/D-Von
Well this is kind of an odd team. Tenay asks who better than Dreamer for D-Von to recruit. …a lot of people Tenay! D-Von and Anarquia start but this stops being anything resembling a tag match very quickly. What’s Up to Anarquia and then everything breaks down even further. Rosita gets in the ring and D-Von kisses her, which allows Anarquia to pop D-Von with a chair and Hernandez falls on top for the pin at 2:00. Barely even a match.
Post match the girls roll back the mats on the floor and Hernandez teases a Border Toss to Dreamer to the concrete but Matt Morgan makes the save and we take a break.
Back and Winter is brainwashing Angelina some more. Winter says she loves her. Angelina is drinking that drink again.
Samoa Joe vs. Murphy
Pope is on commentary of course. Murphy jumps him to start as Tenay talks to Pope about the beginning of this angle for some reason. And the Koquina Clutch ends this in 46 seconds. Joe chases Pope off.
Anderson is looking for someone but stops to get coffee. And there’s a note for him there too. This one says “Once an asshole, always an asshole. Tonight let’s finish what we started Kenny Boy. Stinger.” Anderson destroys the coffee stuff.
Knockout Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. Rosita/Sarita
Angelina Love is in a trance here and can’t even do the entrance. Sarita jumps Velvet as she gets in which doesn’t last long. Angelina keeps staring forward. Off to Rosita now who Velvet beats up also. Angelina doesn’t react to an offer of a tag at all. Winter comes to the stage and makes a sign of snap her in half so Angelina stuns Velvet over the ropes and hammers away at her. Rosita gets the easy pin at 2:00.
Anderson is looking for Sting and has a pipe. He runs into Jordan and Young and Young says Sting is probably in the rafters. Jordan says he’s into Anderson’s asshole thing.
Jeff Jarrett has a Lockdown promise for Angle later.
Back with Anderson searching the rafters for Sting and finds….nothing. Someone is following him though and the person seems to be kind of tall. It doesn’t appear to be Sting as the hair is too short. Oh it’s RVD. He says it’s 4:20 so Anderson is about to get smoked. Good looking knees to the face of Anderson as this is a total beating. RVD falls down carrying him off but locks a modified triangle choke on Anderson who has no room to move around at all in the confined space. Van Dam says that wouldn’t be enough to beat Sting and chokes Anderson out with the pipe as we go to another break.
After a quick video on RVD and Anderson and a recap of what we just saw, here’s Sting, calling out RVD. Sting apologizes to RVD for what he did to him last year and says that he’s here to get rid of Hogan and Bischoff. Hogan and Bischoff make RVD vs. Sting for tonight, presumably non-title.
Tara says Madison is insane and she won’t do what Madison wants her to do. Madison says Tara has a job because of Madison. They get on the motorcycle and leave. No idea where to.
Generation Me/Robbie E vs. Brian Kendrick/Chris Sabin/Suicide
Where did they did some of these guys up from? Sabin vs. Robbie to start and the face team destroys Robbie one by one. Suicide hammers on Max as there isn’t much to say here. This is to hype up the X-Division Xscape match at Lockdown. Off to Kendrick who destroys everything in sight and it all breaks down quickly. Jeremy sets for something off the top but Max crotches him and DDTs him off the top. Kendrick steals the pin at 4:40.
Hogan yells at Immortal and has Gunner slap Rob Terry and someone else that I couldn’t recognize. Anderson comes in with the pipe and is tired of getting beaten up every week so he asks Hogan for a favor. Anderson offers his “support” in exchange for protection and shakes hands with Hogan. He’s now the referee in the main event and Hogan says take the pipe with you.
We see Madison and Tara leaving Mickie laying and speeding off on the bike.
Back with medics looking at Mickie.
Bully Ray vs. Christopher Daniels
This is a lumberjack match so we can have our big pull apart brawl. Ray controls early but Daniels manages to send him to the floor for a bit. He lands in front of Immortal though so no harm befalls him. Back in and Ray drills him with some loud chops to take over again. Ray tries to get the chain in but that gets him nowhere. Daniels gets an enziguri and a rana to take over. Running STO sets up the BME which gets the long two as Flair pulls the referee out. Somehow that isn’t a DQ and the brawl allows Hogan to pop Daniels with the chain for the pin at 6:25.
After a break, here’s Jarrett in the cage. He talks about Kurt being arrested last week like a common street thug. He says that if the cage match had happened a few months ago, the cops would have arrested him (Jarrett) for hurting Angle. The kids won’t be visiting Angle in prison because they need more of Daddy Jeff at the moment.
There’s some kind of special entrance set up for Karen but it’s Kurt’s theme instead. He flies in like Spider-Man and locks the door. Kurt runs into the cameraman and Jarrett (and Karen who came out) run. This is all they put the cage up for?
Back and Kurt says he’s going to hurt Jeff at Lockdown. Oh and the Network says there will be a stipulation for the match. No word on what that is.
Rob Van Dam vs. Sting
Anderson is referee and this is non-title. Sting grabs a headlock to start but Van Dam breaks that and gets some kicks from the middle and top rope. Rolling Thunder gets two. RVD argues about the count but it was fine. Stinger Splash gets two and Sting argues a bit also. There’s the Scorpion Death Drop out of nowhere but Anderson drops Sting with the Mic Check. He counts them both out and jumps from 1 to 6 and then to 9 in about 3 seconds. Five Star to Sting ends this at 3:16.
Anderson lays RVD out with the belt and asks Van Dam about the rematch. Terry and Murphy come out and put Anderson on their shoulders to end the show. Hogan comes out to clap. Apparently we’re not done yet as it’s a Mic Check for Terry and Murphy. Well at least they didn’t go with the obvious ending. He points the pipe at Hogan and says he’s next. Hogan rants about Anderson to really end the show.
Results
Anarquia/Hernandez b. D-Von/Tommy Dreamer – Hernandez pinned D-Von after a chair shot from Anarquia
Samoa Joe b. Murphy – Koquina Clutch
Rosita/Sarita b. Beautiful People – Rosita pinned Sky after Love attacked Sky
Chris Sabin/Brian Kendrick/Suicide b. Generation Me/Robbie E – Kendrick pinned Jeremy Buck after a DDT from Max Buck
Friday
Impact got a 1.2. Yeah I’m stunned too.
Hall appears to be ok. Maybe he isn’t but it’s better than saying “yes he O.D.ed.”
Smackdown
Date: April 8, 2011
Location: Times Union Center, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews
We’re kind of in the new year here on Fridays as Edge is still World Champion. Tonight we’ll probably start the build to Extreme Rules. Since we’ve kind of passed go here, it’s rather hard to tell what else is going to go on. It should be interesting as things usually are on this show. Let’s get to it.
The theme song opens us up. I guess the enemy this week is wrestling as this isn’t a wrestling company anymore. The fact that Vince thinks this will get them more accepted by the mainstream is absolutely hysterical and head shaking at the same time.
Cue Alberto minus his car. Is there a reason why he doesn’t have one as he apparently has like 50 of them? He says that destiny can be delayed as it was at Wrestlemania. He blames Edge and Christian for delaying his destiny and destroying his car. It’s not about the money though, but those cars are like his children. He starts to talk about revenge but is cut off by Edge.
Edge comes out in a tow truck which is pulling the Rolls Royce. Nice bit there. He says that if this car is like his child, Del Rio needs to love it unconditionally. With a little tender loving care it can be fine again. Edge pulls out some spray paint and writes something that I think was just scribbles. Del Rio says he almost got him to tap out at Mania but Edge points out that he didn’t do it. Alberto wants a rematch and Edge says no because there are people more deserving of title shots.
The driver of the tow truck honks the horn and it’s Christian. Edge says Christian has beaten Del Rio multiple times so obviously Christian is ahead of Del Rio in line. Here’s Teddy who makes Del Rio vs. Christian for the shot at Extreme Rules. The match at the PPV will be a ladder match.
We’ll get to see Cena and Rock again tonight. By that I mean the same thing from Raw. They say highlights though which helps a bit.
There’s a rematch of the 8 man tag from Mania next that Josh says has a twist tonight that they’ll explain when we come back. Now I’m no genius, but given that the graphic of the match says “2 out of 3 falls”, I’m thinking it’s in a cage. I could be wrong though.
Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella
We get a clip from the PPV of Show knocking out Slater and that looked AWESOME. Kofi’s tights are lime green tonight. It looked like there was a small edit during Kofi’s entrance but I could be wrong. The video and song seemed to jump forward a bit. Gabriel vs. Santino to start us off. Slater comes in quickly and Corre takes over. Remember that this is 2/3 falls.
Santino reverses a right hand into a throw and it’s off to Kane. Show beats on him for a bit also and we get the Andre/Snuka splash with Kofi on top of Slater for two. He sets for Trouble in Paradise but Gabriel and Barrett make the save as we go to a break. Back with Kane working over the Intercontinental Champion in the corner. Booker sounds out of breath for some reason.
Off to Jackson to face Kane. Jackson gets Kane into the corner and Corre alternates in and out very quickly to hammer away on him. Finally it’s off to Gabriel who gets a missile dropkick on Kane for two. Kane finally remembers he’s fighting a cruiserweight and launches Gabriel to the mat. Off to Kofi who cleans house and gets the first fall off a top rope cross body at 5:30 shown of 9:00. Kofi looks shocked that he actually got a pin.
We take another break and come back with Slater vs. Santino. Booker keeps going on and on about being ahead on points or something like that. Santino escapes a sleeper but is taken down by a forearm for two. Santino speeds things up and loads up the Cobra (I still can’t believe a move that Jon Lovitz taught him caught on like it did) but gets his head kicked off by Barrett. Wasteland ties us up at 7:23 shown of 14:23.
Why doesn’t Barrett just cover him again? There was no mention of a rest period or anything like that. Barrett hammers away and it’s off to Slater again. Jackson comes in and this should be a slaughter. Clothesline in the corner gets two as Big Show DIVES to make the save. Off to Gabriel and we hit the chinlock. Show starts a weak Santino chant.
Gabriel misses a cannonball kind of move and it’s off to Kane. Big side slam to Barrett gets two as does the top rope clothesline. Everything breaks down as Corre takes over. Kane sets for a chokeslam but all of Corre comes in to take him out for the DQ in the third fall at 11:10 shown of 18:10 (assuming 3:30 for commercials. I watch a preairing from Australia so it’s hard to say for sure).
The winners beat up Corre post match, including a triple (Santino helped) chokeslam to Jackson.
Sin Cara is still coming, even though he’s already been on Raw.
Cody Rhodes vs. Trent Barreta
I love Cody’s character right now. At the forums I post on someone made a great point: Cody’s reaction to this is all the more psychological because everyone can see he looks exactly the same but in his mind he’s hideous now. That’s very interesting. Cody takes him down quickly and hammers away. Trent gets a springboard dropkick to get two though so maybe this won’t be a total squash. Russian leg sweep gets two for Cody. This is the aggressive Rhodes as he sends Trent into the post shoulder first and Cross Rhodes ends this at 1:30. Ok so maybe it was a squash. Too short to rate.
Post match Cody beats on Trent some more until Rey makes the save.
We get the Rock vs. Cena confrontation from Raw again. Eats up almost 15 minutes. I get that it’s a major moment, but you could easily trim it down by at least half. There’s no real need to use 1/8 of your total show and about 1/5 of your TV time to just show a segment from the more watched show. I get that it’s huge, but they do this every week. I’m curious about Corre if nothing else.
Edge says he hopes Christian wins because he’d love to have a ladder match with Christian. Christian implies he’d win in the ladder match and says Edge can cheer for Alberto if he likes. The camera stays on Christian after Edge leaves and he looks at the belt which Edge forgot. Edge comes back and Christian says keep an eye on that, referring to the belt. No sign of tension or anything here.
Laycool vs. Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix
Is Natalya injured or something? I haven’t seen her in months. Apparently she’s been on Superstars. Ok then. Josh asks Cole why he’s not in his singlet tonight. Cole almost says he’s not wrestling tonight but cuts himself off to say entertaining. The level of idiocy of this continues to astound me. So remember people: this is an entertainment feature, not a match. So in other words we have girls in small outfits performing choreographed moves while coming out to hip hop/R&B music while on a platform above the guests and gyrating around with other women. Sound familiar to anyone else?
Beth vs. Michelle to start us off with Beth destroying her. Michelle is knocked into Layla so Layla is yelled at. Backbreaker gets two for Beth. Layla is tagged in as Laycool argues. After a scary press slam, Kelly is brought in and does her Tarantula kind of move to Layla. X Factor gets two. Layla reaches for a tag and McCool falls to the floor like Layla did, allowing Kelly to roll Layla up for the pin at 2:50. Far more story advancement than match and that’s fine.
Laycool argues in the aisle.
We get a clip from Raw of Cole spraying barbecue sauce on Lawler. In the arena Cole asks who shot JR. HE DID! Cole brings out Swagger who says training Cole was easy because Cole is smart and talented. Swagger declares Cole the new Mr. Wrestlemania. They take a victory lap but some music hits. It’s Sin Cara who does his trampoline jump into the ring and takes Swagger down using a variety of speed moves including a corkscrew plancha to the floor.
We get the end of the Miz/Austin clip from Raw which was good.
Layla comes up to Michelle in the back and hands her a paper. They’re going to have couples counseling. Michelle says they’re not a couple. Layla says just show up.
Decent length video recapping the Hall of Fame inductions.
Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio
Lot of time for this one. We take a break before Christian’s entrance which is a nice perk because it means there will be some more time before the first break in the match. Edge comes out to be on commentary. Edge isn’t sure who he prefers to face as Christian is good with the ladders also. Edge has been in 19 ladder matches. That’s insane.
Christian takes Del Rio down with a headlock to start us off. Both are sent to the floor at different times with Christian being the last one in the ring. Big dropkick sends Del Rio crashing onto the floor again. We take a break and come back with Christian being slammed into the steps. Del Rio takes over and chokes him on the ropes back in the ring.
Time to start on the arm now as is Del Rio’s custom. Christian fires off a bit right hand and goes up which gets him nowhere. Well he went up but it didn’t advance him in the match anywhere. Maybe I should just move on. Superplex puts both guys down and Christian plays possum to get a cradle for two. Edge is ripping into Cole here and it’s rather funny stuff.
Back to the floor again with both guys via a Cactus Clothesline from Christian. Better than up their noses with a rubber hose I guess. Christian fights back and gets an elbow off the middle rope for two. Top rope cross body gets two. Ricky Steamboat he is not. Killswitch is reversed into an attempt at the armbreaker but that is broken up also. Del Rio sends him into the corner and grabs the armbreaker but Christian gets a rope. Christian sets for something but Brodus stops him. Edge spears Brodus but the distraction allows Del Rio to hit the enziguri off the top for the pin at 10:30 shown of 14:00.
Results
Kane/Big Show/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston b. Corre via DQ when all four members of Corre were in the ring at the same time
Cody Rhodes b. Trent Barreta – Cross Rhodes
Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly b. Laycool – Kelly Kelly pinned Layla with a rollup
Alberto Del Rio b. Christian – Enziguri
Saturday
Hall appeared at an indy show on Saturday and couldn’t walk, could barely talk, and had to be taken from the ring. Rather sad.
Sunday
Nothing of note tonight.
Quick Results
Raw
Jerry Lawler b. Jack Swagger via DQ when Swagger wouldn’t break the ankle lock
Randy Orton/Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk/Cody Rhodes – RKO to Rhodes
Alberto Del Rio b. Evan Bourne – Cross Armbreaker
Trish Stratus/John Morrison b. Dolph Ziggler/Vickie Guerrero – Starship Pain to Ziggler
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick
NXT
Byron Saxton won the Hot Seat Trivia Challenge
Conor O’Brian b. Jacob Novak – Rollup
Titus O’Neil/Hornswoggle b. Chavo Guerrero/Darren Young - Sitout powerbomb
Yoshi Tatsu b. Ted DiBiase via DQ when DiBiase repeatedly punched Tatsu
Impact
Anarquia/Hernandez b. D-Von/Tommy Dreamer – Hernandez pinned D-Von after a chair shot from Anarquia
Samoa Joe b. Murphy – Koquina Clutch
Rosita/Sarita b. Beautiful People – Rosita pinned Sky after Love attacked Sky
Chris Sabin/Brian Kendrick/Suicide b. Generation Me/Robbie E – Kendrick pinned Jeremy Buck after a DDT from Max Buck
Smackdown
Kane/Big Show/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston b. Corre via DQ when all four members of Corre were in the ring at the same time
Cody Rhodes b. Trent Barreta – Cross Rhodes
Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly b. Laycool – Kelly Kelly pinned Layla with a rollup
Alberto Del Rio b. Christian – Enziguri