klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Raw
Date: April 26, 2010
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Matt Striker
It’s the Draft. This is always fun.
Unified Tag Titles: Hart Dynasty vs. Big Show/Miz
Before the match Miz blasts the Hart Family and especially Stu and the Dungeon. Crowd is red hot. Bret comes out and says ShowMiz is the greatest team ever, Mountie is the best IC Champion ever, and David Arquette is best world champion ever. That’s kind of amusing actually. Kid and Miz start us off. Kidd busts out Owen’s signature stuff before Smith does a VERY long vertical suplex. That was nice.
We go to a commercial with the champions in trouble. Naturally that’s reversed when we come back. It’s weird that Miz towers over Kidd. He really is a small man. This match is getting a good bit of time also. Can’t beat that. Bret makes the save when the Harts almost have it. Hart Attack hits on Miz and it’s Sharpshooter time! Miz taps it and the titles switch!
We recap last night at the PPV, mainly Cena/Batista and the creative ending. I still don’t get why you show how the show ended and then tell people to order the replay. That makes no sense.
We see a clip after the match of Show punching the HELL out of Miz. That looked awesome.
We see another package on HHH vs. Sheamus last night.
And now we go to Swagger. Sure why not. He says that he’s great. Edge interrupts him and I really do not want to see this match.
Laycool is here and they have a match up next for a Draft Pick.
Eve Torres/Maryse vs. Layla/Michelle McCool
Let’s get this over with. Naturally the Raw girls start fighting on the floor a bit into this. Wow this is an annoying match and it has four attractive women in it. Michelle kicks Maryse in the face when she won’t stop arguing with Eve.
Draft Pick – Kelly Kelly to Smackdown
The Straightedge Society is up next.
Tomorrow’s NXT show is about Sheffield apparently. Oddly enough, I like that song now.
CM Punk vs. Evan Bourne
Seriously, we have Raw’s top jobber vs. a three time world champion that beat one of the top faces in the company last night. The hooded guy from last night helps him and the GTS ends it.
Draft Pick – Big Show to Smackdown
Sheamus is up next.
Teddy welcomes Show to Smackdown and it’s a very awkward moment. Teddy dances.
Sheamus comes out and says he wants Cena and the title. Orton comes out instead. And here’s Cena. After some funny stuff he says that he gets to pick his own number one contender. That’s a nice little thing. Sheamus vs. Orton for the #1 contender spot tonight.
Up next we have a ten man battle royal for THREE draft picks.
Battle Royal
Five guys from each show.
Smackdown – Kane, Rey Mysterio, Shad, R-Truth, Drew McIntyre
Raw – Mark Henry, MVP, DiBiase, Santino, Yoshi Tatsu
It’s last man or people standing wins the picks for his brand. Santino gets a chant but walks into Kane. Here we go. Yoshi manages to put out Drew of all people. Shad gets rid of him so Santino goes after him. This doesn’t go well. It’s your standard battle royal with guys laying on the ropes and trying to get thrown out plus some random punching and kicking. We come back with no one being out. As soon as we come back though, MVP is out.
I think Rey used the hurricanrana of good timing to get rid of him. Santino puts out Truth and Shad by himself. Henry takes a 619 to the balls. DiBiase and Santino vs. Rey are your final three. I have a BAD feeling I know how this ends. That following clothesline of DiBiase’s is a great move.
DiBiase and Rey put on a rather nice sequence including some apron fighting. DiBiase busts out a splash on the apron but Rey misses a charge and hits Ted’s boot to give Raw the win and three picks. DiBiase beats up Santino after the match.
Draft Picks – John Morrison, R-Truth, Edge to Raw.
One more note: when Truth got drafted after Morrison, Cole actually said that he and Morrison are a great tag team. Have they won more than one match?
Jericho is here and he says a lot of things, mainly blaming Heath Slater for his defeat last night. Slater comes out and says nothing of note.
Chris Jericho vs. Christian
This is their usual good match that I’ll spare you the details on. Jericho catches Christian coming off the top with the Codebreaker for the pin. He beats up Slater afterwards.
Draft Pick – Kofi Kingston to Smackdown
Kofi runs out and kicks Jericho in the head. Nice guy.
Swagger vs. Morrison is next.
Jack Swagger vs. John Morrison
See Chris Jericho vs. Christian here, as it’s also a great match between these two. They just go out there and have good matches. What more can you ask of them? Swagger wins with the gutwrench powerbomb.
Draft Pick – Christian to Smackdown
DiBiase makes an offer to Carlito. We don’t see what it is, but my guess is the Fortunate Sons thing. He talks to R-Truth also and asks him to be his confidant. Ok so it’s not the whole stable thing. He mentions wanting a guy to help him. Truth says that DiBiase is looking for a Virgil. That’s very amusing. Ted gets slapped.
We get a package on the military appreciation month. Cool.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Honrswoggle
Horny wins by count out. Post match he gets choked out.
Draft Pick – Chris Jericho to Raw
And here’s Batista, naturally bitching. Sheamus comes out and bitches. Orton comes out and I can’t hear anything he says because I’m deaf from his pop. According to my closed captioning, Orton says he’ll beat Sheamus and then beat Batista. Cena pops up to another loud pop and says it’s a triple threat. Yeah I’m shocked too. It’s not even 10:45 yet by the way.
Batista vs. Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
This got about 20 minutes and came off really well I thought. They had a solid match that went nearly twenty minutes. Orton had the thing won and Edge hits the ring to hit a spear. Batista wins it off of that.
Results
Hart Dynasty b. Big Show/Miz – Sharpshooter on Miz
Michelle McCool/Lalya b. Eve Torres/Maryse – Big Boot to Maryse – Kelly Kelly to Smackdown
CM Punk b. Evan Bourne – Go To Sleep – Big Show to Smackdown
Team Raw won a battle royal – John Morrison, R-Truth,
Chris Jericho b. Christian – Codebreaker - Kofi Kingston to Smackdown
Jack Swagger b. John Morrison – Gutwrench Powerbomb – Christian to Smackdown
Hornswoggle b. Dolph Ziggler – Count out
Batista b. Sheamus and Randy Orton – Pin after Edge spear
Draft Picks
To Smackdown:
Kelly Kelly
Big Show
Kofi Kingston
Christian
To Raw:
John Morrison
R-Truth
Edge
Chris Jericho
Impact
Date: April 26, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay
Title: Mr. Monday Night
We open with a package of AJ vs. Hardy from last week where Van Dam won the title in a shocking win. That was indeed awesome.
I know I get on Hogan a lot, but in the opening montage, he’s shown four times, including the first and last shots. RVD has two. Come on now.
Hogan opens the show and of course gets tons of pyro. Yes I blast him a lot, but seriously, as was said in the LD or aftermath by someone that I don’t remember, he’s like a parent standing in their kid’s spotlight. I get that he’s the biggest star of all time, but he needs to step the hell aside a bit. The Obama Change shirt is amusing. Also, I love how Hogan can mention being a former world champion, but RVD just became one last week apparently.
He mentions Bischoff having a rankings system that the fans have something to do with. I would say this is a ripoff of NXT, but TNA has talked about this forever and WCW had it over 20 years ago. Hogan says AJ is great. That’s true. And here’s Van Dam. The music is indeed great looking on him. I think I say it at least.
When he was coming out the camera cut to Hogan doing RVD’s pose. Van Dam says he can be called Mr. TNA Rob Van Dam. Hogan’s reaction to this actually made me laugh as he looked like a 5 year old at Christmas. Him calling Hogan Hulkie is funny as well. Yeah I like Van Dam more than Hogan, and I was never huge on Van Dam. RVD makes a pot joke and the fans clap loudly. The bandage on his head says TNA. This is very amusing.
Naturally AJ is here next. Basic booking so far which makes perfect sense. And since Hogan is here, there’s Flair. Flair looks old. That’s all there is to it. AJ, with eyes bugging out, shouts at Van Dam asking if he’s high right now. Crowd: YES HE IS! YES HE IS! YES HE IS!
AJ’s eyes are freaking blue. Like VERY blue. The rematch is on AJ’s terms, so Van Dam can put that in his pipe and smoke it. I know Cheech and Chong hosted Raw, but when did they take Russo’s job? Flair is wearing a bright red shirt and it pales in comparison to his face. He yells about the match later like he tends to do.
We go to the Beautiful People who make sex jokes and look hot. Why mess with what works?
We recap the box thing which is just idiotic, as again: two title changes with neither champion getting pinned. Again: just have them do softcore porn. It saves time at this point.
Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Tara vs. Madison Rayne
Love gets hotter every time she is on TV. The whole butterface thing is stupid too. Like any of you would EVER turn her down. You know it. Tara is of course gorgeous. Taz and Tenay are annoying to no end with the whole horny old men thing. Lacey and Velvet are sent to the back.
Madison does the wise thing and hides for the opening of the match. At least the booking is smart here. Madison is dominating as we go to a break. After some more basic stuff, Madison rammed Angelina into Tara and rolled her up for the pin. Post match Tara beats the hell out of Angelina, or at least does until security fails to stop them.
Shannon Moore is getting ready.
X-Division Title: Shannon Moore vs. Kazarian
We mention that Moore turned down Matt Morgan to be his tag partner. So when do we expect that run-in? Taz doesn’t like them taking the belt off of Williams. To be fair, that was beyond their control and TNA did what they could. I can’t fault them for what they did there as it was a tight spot. There’s now a scrolling bottom line with announcements and news. That’s cool and it lets the announcers stay of topic. And there goes the referee.
Yep we have a Morgan sighting. Kaz hits his piledriver move for the win. Should be noted he didn’t see Morgan and both guys were down when Morgan came out. And here’s Samoa Joe. Apparently not seeing a guy in two weeks is now several months. Muscle Buster does well enough to get the point across.
Abyss talks about the ring and quotes Hogan even more. Can we get to the inevitable heel turn?
Morgan talks to Jesse Neal and asks if he wants to be a partner. He appeals to the military stuff.
AJ/Sting vs. Jarrett/Hardy next.
AJ Styles/Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett/Jeff Hardy
See? I wouldn’t lie to you. Jarrett vs. Sting at Sacrifice. That will be good if they don’t overbook it to hell and back, but it’s TNA so I’d bet on it. This is hardcore. Ok then. This is what I mean by overbooked. You have three great wrestlers in Sting, Jarrett and Styles and a tag team specialist that sells and bumps like few others in Hardy. Why can’t we have a standard tag here?
If it’s No DQ and falls count anywhere like Tenay said, why do they have to tag? Seeing Sting vs. Hardy is nearly surreal. And Sting walks away. He’s heading for the rafters and Jarrett finds him. Ok then. Hardy finds a ladder and Sting has a bat. Sting pins Jarrett just before Hardy can do his big spot.
Jesse Neal asks the Dudleys for their blessing in the Morgan tag. It just happens to be with the Dudleys. Wasn’t Rhyno his original mentor? One thing I like here is that they have the camera seemingly behind something. That’s a nice perk as it seems so stupid when there’s a camera in odd places.
Pope is here in a sling and eye patch. His pop is noticeably quieter. He says he’ll get AJ for what he did. The CAN I GET AN AMEN is a good thing he needs to stick with. Anderson comes down and makes fun of Pope. Pope says to get to the point or shut the hell up. Apparently Anderson wants a match at Sacrifice. Why? Just for the hell of it I guess. Anderson making chicken noises is kind of funny.
We go to the back and see Team 3D standing over Waltman who apparently lost about a quart of blood in an attack.
Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. Matt Morgan/Jesse Neal
Team 3D has 23 tag titles and this is for number 24. In other words, one for almost every Wrestlemania. We get a weird chant of Matt Morgan BOO Jesse Neal YAY. And here’s the Band. Neal goes to help Team 3D and Morgan beats the hell out of him of course. Not even a match. Literally 30 seconds or so before the run in.
We go to the back and Morgan says he’s not caring about Neal. Hogan shows up and says deal with Neal or deal with Hogan. Now THAT is what Hogan can do. Oh and it’s Superstar Jesse Neal now. Neal gets beaten down after a low blow and here’s Moore for the save.
We go the Bischoff for the announcement of the new ranking system. The fans can vote on the website as to who gets a shot. Lethal comes in and does his old jokes. This was ok though as it was at least a way to plug the new idea and now just random bad comedy.
Orlando Jordan talks about his art or something to that nature. He’s wearing a feather skirt. He wants a match with Rob Terry, who is going to be the first guest on the O Zone. Ok then.
Flair talks about his match tonight. He looks very sad.
Hall and Nash don’t want to talk, and they’re going to tell you about it. There’s going to be a third person next week.
We recap Flair vs. Abyss.
Ric Flair vs. Abyss
Remember, Flair is so mad about Abyss being given a ring that means so much that he’s willing to put up his own. Yeah, something doesn’t make sense there. Now let’s make sure to hear Hogan’s old theme for Abyss. To continue the cliché, Flair is bleeding early on. He bleeds a lot, Flair gets a brass knuckles shot to the head, it’s no sold, and a low blow puts him down for the pin. Ok then.
It’s a Dusty Finish though as Flair gets caught with the knucks and we restart. Abyss does the Hulk Up thing and throws in the three punches to set up the Black Hole Slam. Of course Hogan’s music plays and it’s the biggest win ever for Abyss. Ignore him being a former world champion after beating Sting of course. Hogan puts Flair’s ring on his own hand. Hogan says someone gets Flair’s ring next week. This was idiotic.
Results
Madison Rayne b. Tara and Angelina Love – Rollup on Love
Kazarian b. Shannon Moore – Reverse Piledriver
AJ Styles/Sting b. Jeff Hardy/Jeff Jarrett – Baseball Bat Shot to Jarrett
Team 3D b. Matt Morgan/Jesse Neal – Band interference
Abyss b. Ric Flair – Black Hole Slam
Tuesday
Raw – 3.1
Impact - .5
Supplemental Draft
To SmackDown
Cody Rhodes
Chavo Guerrero
Chris Masters
Hornswoggle
Rosa Mendes
MVP
To RAW
Great Khali & Ranjin Singh
Natalya
Ezekiel Jackson
Goldust
David Hart Smith
Tyson Kidd
NXT
Date: April 27, 2010
Location – Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators – Josh Matthews, Michael Cole
For some reason I’ve been wanting to see NXT all week. I’m liking this show and I have no idea why.
So tonight the contest is selling stuff. Yeah I’m not making this up. You have a minute to sell the most programs you can. Is this in case you can’t get a job as a wrestler?
Sheffield gets $60. In a minutes, that’s DAMN good. A buck a second? DAMN.
Wade Barrett/Chris Jericho vs. Heath Slater/Christian
Barrett – 4-4
Slater – 5-2
I like how they’re doing angles on the other shows now. Jericho gets into it with the referee as you would expect since he’s the one from last week. Christian dives onto Barrett to take him out. Slater goes for the same ending from last week and naturally it doesn’t work. Codebreaker ends it. Slater is 5-3 and Barrett is 5-4.
Bryan does his challenge and says he was never a capitalist so it’s time to give these things away. He tosses them to the crowd. Nicely done.
Carlito says that he wants Tarver to carry his bags. Do your job sonny boy.
We’re back and Gabriel is going third. HE SOLD 22 IN A MINUTE. That’s 330 dollars or 5.5 dollars a second. At that rate, he’s making NINETEEN THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS AN HOUR. Sweet damn.
Video package on Tarver. Sweet damn he sucks.
Darren Young vs. Michael Tarver
Young – 6-2
Tarver – 0-6
Young has the best overall record. Wow would not have guessed that one. Oddly enough, Gallows helps Young and it’s enough to get the pin in a short match. 7-2? I’m impressed. Ok not really.
Otunga is up next. I’ll spare you the jokes. Apparently Gabriel only got $210. Otunga tells some kids to do the work for him because celebrities don’t do manual labor. That’s actually really smart.
We recap the Draft. Oh yeah I need to put up the results of the Supplemental Draft. Granted that means little to you since they’ll be here when you read the review anyway so who cares?
We get a package on Gabriel and the general consensus is he can’t talk and has no personality. That’s a good point to be fair.
Truth is mad at Otunga for asking for help last week.
Slater is up next. Otunga got 315 apparently. Slater keeps dropping money. He doesn’t get the win and we don’t hear his total yet.
Young is up in I think 6th or something like that. Again, this is a smart way to get money for the company for little work or anything going into it. He doesn’t break it either.
Here’s Tarver. Tarver throws the bag down and walks off. Give me a break and get him off the damn show already. That leaves….Barrett. Yeah that’s it.
Barrett cuts a short promo and takes the change money and leaves. I love that.
The pros kiss Bryan’s ass. I don’t get it actually. His record has to mean something eventually right?
Otunga chooses to fight R-Truth next week.
The Miz vs. Skip Sheffield
Sheffield – 0-5
Miz’s face is BRUISED from the punch last night. Hell of a makeup job there. Miz says he can’t fight so Bryan is taking his place. Ok then.
Skip Sheffield vs. Daniel Bryan
Sheffield – 0-5
Bryan – 0-8
Bryan gets a heel hook and almost a tap. Naturally he doesn’t tap. An over the shoulder stunner ends it for Sheffield, making him 1-5 and Bryan 0-9. Ok then.
Results
Wade Barrett/Chris Jericho b. Christian/Heath Slater – Codebreaker to Slater
Darren Young b. Michael Tarver – Release Dragon Suplex
David Otunga won the Seal the Deal Challenge
Skip Sheffield b. Daniel Bryan – Over the Shoulder Stunner
Wednesday
So apparently Tara is gone in May, Shark Boy might leave and Homicide isn’t that happy. I’m stunned too. Who would have believed two talented workers would be leaving this soon after Hogan and company take over?
On another note, Shelton Benjamin and Maria might be coming in. Good and bad I guess.
Thursday
So apparently Bubba is gone from TNA. The fat annoying one is gone I mean.
Apparently that’s still not enough info. The fat annoying one that is really only good for talking and who hasn’t meant anything in years.
FOR THE LOVE OF CHEESE I MEAN BUBBA THE LOVE SPONGE NOT BUBBA DUDLEY!!!
Friday
Tony Atlas is gone too. Who would have thought that would be a headline in 2010?
Smackdown
Date: April 30, 2010
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker
We get a LONG recap video of the draft, showing how “awesome” Smackdown did but really just showcasing what Raw got. There’s a large focus on Edge. Teddy Long comes out and says how great Smackdown did and says here is one of the biggest names we got. It’s Kofi.
Kofi Kingston vs. Chris Jericho
Wait, isn’t the Canadian on Raw now? Apparently this is his final appearance. Got it. Oh yeah Kofi more or less acted like a total dick and kicked Jericho last Monday. I forgot about that. Jericho has something to say. Naturally it’s about how awesome he is, which is rather true I guess. It’s amazing that he’s 39. Kofi says instead of the fans growing up, Jericho should shut up. We start with Kofi being pushed into the corner and Jericho loudly calls a spot to him.
He makes up for it with a nice powerbomb counter though as we take our first break. Striker makes a joke implying that the Draft wasn’t fixed. That’s just hilarious. Kofi makes a comeback but gets caught in the Walls. Ok never mind as they get countered. The Trouble in Paradise however is countered into the Walls. Boom Drop is avoided, perhaps because of Kofi shouting BOOM BOOM BOOM just before he does it! You think that could have something to do with it?
Codebreaker puts Kofi onto the floor. It only gets two though as this is a fairly good match. Kofi gets a Trouble in Paradise from nowhere for the pin. Has Jericho EVER beaten Kofi? I actually don’t think he has.
We go to Swagger who is dressed to kill. He mentions George W. Bush invited him to the White House after winning the Rose Bowl. He calls Bush the best President ever. Methinks we’re in Chicago.
Back from break and Jericho is in the back, talking to an unseen person and saying the person could have helped him on Monday. And then Jericho is unconscious because it’s Big Show and he gets punched.
Chavo is here. He says he’s on Smackdown and no one needs to adjust their sets. Has ANYONE ever done that? He makes a quick speech and here’s Kane.
In a Mania 24 rematch, here we go. Ok maybe this isn’t a match. Kane chokeslams him and says welcome back then leaves. Ok then. Striker makes a Welcome Back Kotter reference so I’m happy.
Shad says it’s his time. He’s dressed well, but has he won a match since his push?
John Morrison vs. Cody Rhodes
Random but this works. Rhodes is called the Uncommon Son of the Common Man. So Dustin is the normal one??? Rhodes nails him on the floor and we go to a break. Cody hooks a Crossface Chickenwing. Didn’t Swags use that last week? Cody’s DNA is geared to success. Really? Cody hits a nice moonsault to a standing Morrison. Morrison comes back with that spinning kick he hits. Nice.
Solid match so far. Starship Pain misses but Morrison doesn’t crash. Always a good thing. Alabama Slam hits and THAT’S HARDCORE according to Striker. Nice one. Morrison hits a running knee that we’ve seen him win countless matches with. Countless is right. I can’t even get to the first one. Rhodes ducks a clothesline and Crossroads ends clean. Nice one again. Solid match.
Here’s more Swagger and he says that as captain of the Oklahoma Sooners he won three straight national titles. This is a really cool idea actually.
Edge is up next, now complete with heel beard.
We recap the Edge spear to Orton because we’ve forgotten it in the last 50 minutes I guess.
Yep he’s still over as a face despite them wanting to turn him heel again. He loves the fans so maybe I’m wrong. And here’s Christian. Ok then. Remember when they used to be brothers? WWE doesn’t. They met when they were in 6th grade apparently. Have these two been together in the last 5 years? Edge says Christian is his best friend. This is odd.
Christian says they’ve known each other forever, which is true. Just odd that they’re no longer brothers. I guess changing shows can do that to you. Christian says Edge didn’t mean a thing he just said. Edge asks Christian how many titles he’s won and Christian says none. SO THERE! ECW DOES NOT COUNT! Christian is acting really heelish here. Edge says Christian is right and that he can’t stand the fans and they’ve been his puppets.
Damn it can you let him be a fucking face for more than three months??? Christian says he wants Edge vs. Christian, not Edge and Christian. This is an actual feud that hasn’t been done yet. Edge jumps him and down goes the guy with the weaker resume. Spear is blocked and it’s a brawl. Edge tries to leave and Christian goes for the Killswitch. Yeah that looked idiotic. I want to smack whoever wrote the Goodbye song.
Back from break, Edge says we’ll never see Edge vs. Christian. Big Show punches him. There’s something awesome about a guy just knocking other guys out.
Michelle and Layla are in the ring and Michelle is gorgeous.
Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly vs. Michelle McCool/Layla
Any bets on who goes over here? If nothing else Beth’s pose doesn’t look like ridiculous now that she has a belt. Kelly hits the one move she can do somewhat well, the headscissors. Beth comes in and this is just not that good. Beth busts out a slingshot suplex and the Kelly wins with a thing where she jumps up on the other girl’s back and drops down like a Fameasser. WEAK.
Swagger says he had scholarship offers to a bunch of big schools. Nice.
Chris Master says there are a lot of viral videos and then does the pec dance on Smackdown for the first time. Ok that was kind of funny.
Dolph Ziggler is here. He talks about beating up Horny and says it’s the proudest moment of his career. Damn straight. Apparently Horny is in Leprechaun heaven. Seriously that’s all this was.
We recap Matt getting curb stomped last week. That was a great visual. Matt says he’ll be back and then Drew jumps him again. Futureshock DDT on the floor gets a SWEET sound.
JTG says nothing of note.
Here’s the Straight Edge Society. Punk talks about how he has his hair still and he did it by himself. This could become a great angle if they do it right and don’t castrate the thing. And here’s MVP to suck the life out of this show. And here’s Rey to finish killing off this segment. Naturally we get this.
Rey Mysterio/MVP vs. CM Punk/Luke Gallows
Oh how I’m riveted. This is as standard of a match as you can ask for. Crowd is DEAD for MVP. I mean DEAD. Ballin gets a weak reaction. 619 into Paydirt (now called the 305 apparently) ends this idiocy. The masked guy runs in and hits a neckbreaker on Rey. Masked guys are all sorts of fun.
Swagger says he graduated with honors and a 4.0. He was invited back to give the commencement speech. Cool.
And now he’s here in the arena. He appreciates the “cheering” but says he has something important to say. Damn the crowd is getting on him tonight. That’s a good sign. Apparently his father says he would be a world champion. Swagger lists off more factoids about himself. Solid promo here. This is basic heel stuff and he’s selling it perfectly. He got a full ride to Oklahoma. That’s awesome if nothing else.
He graduated Magna Cum Laude. A guy in the crowd has the old school IC belt. Swagger says he’s held the title 30 days. That’s not bad. Here’s Teddy though, likely with a new #1 contender. Hey I’m right. And it’s Big Show. People blasted Swagger’s promo in the LD. Why? It came off great.
The fans chant for Show to knock him out. Swagger is nearly as tall as Show. That’s damn impressive. Show is underrated on the mic. The punch lands and Swagger just collapses. That was GREAT and it ends the show.
Results
Kofi Kingston b. Chris Jericho – Trouble in Paradise
Cody Rhodes b. John Morrison – Crossroads
Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly b. Layla/Michelle McCool - Legdrop
Rey Mysterio/MVP b. Luke Gallows/CM Punk – Jumping Downward Spiral
Satuday
Nothing of note
Sunday
Damn this is a boring weekend.
Quick Results
Raw
Hart Dynasty b. Big Show/Miz – Sharpshooter on Miz
Michelle McCool/Lalya b. Eve Torres/Maryse – Big Boot to Maryse – Kelly Kelly to Smackdown
CM Punk b. Evan Bourne – Go To Sleep – Big Show to Smackdown
Team Raw won a battle royal – John Morrison, R-Truth,
Chris Jericho b. Christian – Codebreaker - Kofi Kingston to Smackdown
Jack Swagger b. John Morrison – Gutwrench Powerbomb – Christian to Smackdown
Hornswoggle b. Dolph Ziggler – Count out
Batista b. Sheamus and Randy Orton – Pin after Edge spear
Draft Picks
To Smackdown:
Kelly Kelly
Big Show
Kofi Kingston
Christian
To Raw:
John Morrison
R-Truth
Edge
Chris Jericho
Impact
Madison Rayne b. Tara and Angelina Love – Rollup on Love
Kazarian b. Shannon Moore – Reverse Piledriver
AJ Styles/Sting b. Jeff Hardy/Jeff Jarrett – Baseball Bat Shot to Jarrett
Team 3D b. Matt Morgan/Jesse Neal – Band interference
Abyss b. Ric Flair – Black Hole Slam
NXT
Wade Barrett/Chris Jericho b. Christian/Heath Slater – Codebreaker to Slater
Darren Young b. Michael Tarver – Release Dragon Suplex
David Otunga won the Seal the Deal Challenge
Skip Sheffield b. Daniel Bryan – Over the Shoulder Stunner
Smackdown
Kofi Kingston b. Chris Jericho – Trouble in Paradise
Cody Rhodes b. John Morrison – Crossroads
Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly b. Layla/Michelle McCool - Legdrop
Rey Mysterio/MVP b. Luke Gallows/CM Punk – Jumping Downward Spiral
Raw
Date: April 26, 2010
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Matt Striker
It’s the Draft. This is always fun.
Unified Tag Titles: Hart Dynasty vs. Big Show/Miz
Before the match Miz blasts the Hart Family and especially Stu and the Dungeon. Crowd is red hot. Bret comes out and says ShowMiz is the greatest team ever, Mountie is the best IC Champion ever, and David Arquette is best world champion ever. That’s kind of amusing actually. Kid and Miz start us off. Kidd busts out Owen’s signature stuff before Smith does a VERY long vertical suplex. That was nice.
We go to a commercial with the champions in trouble. Naturally that’s reversed when we come back. It’s weird that Miz towers over Kidd. He really is a small man. This match is getting a good bit of time also. Can’t beat that. Bret makes the save when the Harts almost have it. Hart Attack hits on Miz and it’s Sharpshooter time! Miz taps it and the titles switch!
We recap last night at the PPV, mainly Cena/Batista and the creative ending. I still don’t get why you show how the show ended and then tell people to order the replay. That makes no sense.
We see a clip after the match of Show punching the HELL out of Miz. That looked awesome.
We see another package on HHH vs. Sheamus last night.
And now we go to Swagger. Sure why not. He says that he’s great. Edge interrupts him and I really do not want to see this match.
Laycool is here and they have a match up next for a Draft Pick.
Eve Torres/Maryse vs. Layla/Michelle McCool
Let’s get this over with. Naturally the Raw girls start fighting on the floor a bit into this. Wow this is an annoying match and it has four attractive women in it. Michelle kicks Maryse in the face when she won’t stop arguing with Eve.
Draft Pick – Kelly Kelly to Smackdown
The Straightedge Society is up next.
Tomorrow’s NXT show is about Sheffield apparently. Oddly enough, I like that song now.
CM Punk vs. Evan Bourne
Seriously, we have Raw’s top jobber vs. a three time world champion that beat one of the top faces in the company last night. The hooded guy from last night helps him and the GTS ends it.
Draft Pick – Big Show to Smackdown
Sheamus is up next.
Teddy welcomes Show to Smackdown and it’s a very awkward moment. Teddy dances.
Sheamus comes out and says he wants Cena and the title. Orton comes out instead. And here’s Cena. After some funny stuff he says that he gets to pick his own number one contender. That’s a nice little thing. Sheamus vs. Orton for the #1 contender spot tonight.
Up next we have a ten man battle royal for THREE draft picks.
Battle Royal
Five guys from each show.
Smackdown – Kane, Rey Mysterio, Shad, R-Truth, Drew McIntyre
Raw – Mark Henry, MVP, DiBiase, Santino, Yoshi Tatsu
It’s last man or people standing wins the picks for his brand. Santino gets a chant but walks into Kane. Here we go. Yoshi manages to put out Drew of all people. Shad gets rid of him so Santino goes after him. This doesn’t go well. It’s your standard battle royal with guys laying on the ropes and trying to get thrown out plus some random punching and kicking. We come back with no one being out. As soon as we come back though, MVP is out.
I think Rey used the hurricanrana of good timing to get rid of him. Santino puts out Truth and Shad by himself. Henry takes a 619 to the balls. DiBiase and Santino vs. Rey are your final three. I have a BAD feeling I know how this ends. That following clothesline of DiBiase’s is a great move.
DiBiase and Rey put on a rather nice sequence including some apron fighting. DiBiase busts out a splash on the apron but Rey misses a charge and hits Ted’s boot to give Raw the win and three picks. DiBiase beats up Santino after the match.
Draft Picks – John Morrison, R-Truth, Edge to Raw.
One more note: when Truth got drafted after Morrison, Cole actually said that he and Morrison are a great tag team. Have they won more than one match?
Jericho is here and he says a lot of things, mainly blaming Heath Slater for his defeat last night. Slater comes out and says nothing of note.
Chris Jericho vs. Christian
This is their usual good match that I’ll spare you the details on. Jericho catches Christian coming off the top with the Codebreaker for the pin. He beats up Slater afterwards.
Draft Pick – Kofi Kingston to Smackdown
Kofi runs out and kicks Jericho in the head. Nice guy.
Swagger vs. Morrison is next.
Jack Swagger vs. John Morrison
See Chris Jericho vs. Christian here, as it’s also a great match between these two. They just go out there and have good matches. What more can you ask of them? Swagger wins with the gutwrench powerbomb.
Draft Pick – Christian to Smackdown
DiBiase makes an offer to Carlito. We don’t see what it is, but my guess is the Fortunate Sons thing. He talks to R-Truth also and asks him to be his confidant. Ok so it’s not the whole stable thing. He mentions wanting a guy to help him. Truth says that DiBiase is looking for a Virgil. That’s very amusing. Ted gets slapped.
We get a package on the military appreciation month. Cool.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Honrswoggle
Horny wins by count out. Post match he gets choked out.
Draft Pick – Chris Jericho to Raw
And here’s Batista, naturally bitching. Sheamus comes out and bitches. Orton comes out and I can’t hear anything he says because I’m deaf from his pop. According to my closed captioning, Orton says he’ll beat Sheamus and then beat Batista. Cena pops up to another loud pop and says it’s a triple threat. Yeah I’m shocked too. It’s not even 10:45 yet by the way.
Batista vs. Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
This got about 20 minutes and came off really well I thought. They had a solid match that went nearly twenty minutes. Orton had the thing won and Edge hits the ring to hit a spear. Batista wins it off of that.
Results
Hart Dynasty b. Big Show/Miz – Sharpshooter on Miz
Michelle McCool/Lalya b. Eve Torres/Maryse – Big Boot to Maryse – Kelly Kelly to Smackdown
CM Punk b. Evan Bourne – Go To Sleep – Big Show to Smackdown
Team Raw won a battle royal – John Morrison, R-Truth,
Chris Jericho b. Christian – Codebreaker - Kofi Kingston to Smackdown
Jack Swagger b. John Morrison – Gutwrench Powerbomb – Christian to Smackdown
Hornswoggle b. Dolph Ziggler – Count out
Batista b. Sheamus and Randy Orton – Pin after Edge spear
Draft Picks
To Smackdown:
Kelly Kelly
Big Show
Kofi Kingston
Christian
To Raw:
John Morrison
R-Truth
Edge
Chris Jericho
Impact
Date: April 26, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay
Title: Mr. Monday Night
We open with a package of AJ vs. Hardy from last week where Van Dam won the title in a shocking win. That was indeed awesome.
I know I get on Hogan a lot, but in the opening montage, he’s shown four times, including the first and last shots. RVD has two. Come on now.
Hogan opens the show and of course gets tons of pyro. Yes I blast him a lot, but seriously, as was said in the LD or aftermath by someone that I don’t remember, he’s like a parent standing in their kid’s spotlight. I get that he’s the biggest star of all time, but he needs to step the hell aside a bit. The Obama Change shirt is amusing. Also, I love how Hogan can mention being a former world champion, but RVD just became one last week apparently.
He mentions Bischoff having a rankings system that the fans have something to do with. I would say this is a ripoff of NXT, but TNA has talked about this forever and WCW had it over 20 years ago. Hogan says AJ is great. That’s true. And here’s Van Dam. The music is indeed great looking on him. I think I say it at least.
When he was coming out the camera cut to Hogan doing RVD’s pose. Van Dam says he can be called Mr. TNA Rob Van Dam. Hogan’s reaction to this actually made me laugh as he looked like a 5 year old at Christmas. Him calling Hogan Hulkie is funny as well. Yeah I like Van Dam more than Hogan, and I was never huge on Van Dam. RVD makes a pot joke and the fans clap loudly. The bandage on his head says TNA. This is very amusing.
Naturally AJ is here next. Basic booking so far which makes perfect sense. And since Hogan is here, there’s Flair. Flair looks old. That’s all there is to it. AJ, with eyes bugging out, shouts at Van Dam asking if he’s high right now. Crowd: YES HE IS! YES HE IS! YES HE IS!
AJ’s eyes are freaking blue. Like VERY blue. The rematch is on AJ’s terms, so Van Dam can put that in his pipe and smoke it. I know Cheech and Chong hosted Raw, but when did they take Russo’s job? Flair is wearing a bright red shirt and it pales in comparison to his face. He yells about the match later like he tends to do.
We go to the Beautiful People who make sex jokes and look hot. Why mess with what works?
We recap the box thing which is just idiotic, as again: two title changes with neither champion getting pinned. Again: just have them do softcore porn. It saves time at this point.
Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Tara vs. Madison Rayne
Love gets hotter every time she is on TV. The whole butterface thing is stupid too. Like any of you would EVER turn her down. You know it. Tara is of course gorgeous. Taz and Tenay are annoying to no end with the whole horny old men thing. Lacey and Velvet are sent to the back.
Madison does the wise thing and hides for the opening of the match. At least the booking is smart here. Madison is dominating as we go to a break. After some more basic stuff, Madison rammed Angelina into Tara and rolled her up for the pin. Post match Tara beats the hell out of Angelina, or at least does until security fails to stop them.
Shannon Moore is getting ready.
X-Division Title: Shannon Moore vs. Kazarian
We mention that Moore turned down Matt Morgan to be his tag partner. So when do we expect that run-in? Taz doesn’t like them taking the belt off of Williams. To be fair, that was beyond their control and TNA did what they could. I can’t fault them for what they did there as it was a tight spot. There’s now a scrolling bottom line with announcements and news. That’s cool and it lets the announcers stay of topic. And there goes the referee.
Yep we have a Morgan sighting. Kaz hits his piledriver move for the win. Should be noted he didn’t see Morgan and both guys were down when Morgan came out. And here’s Samoa Joe. Apparently not seeing a guy in two weeks is now several months. Muscle Buster does well enough to get the point across.
Abyss talks about the ring and quotes Hogan even more. Can we get to the inevitable heel turn?
Morgan talks to Jesse Neal and asks if he wants to be a partner. He appeals to the military stuff.
AJ/Sting vs. Jarrett/Hardy next.
AJ Styles/Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett/Jeff Hardy
See? I wouldn’t lie to you. Jarrett vs. Sting at Sacrifice. That will be good if they don’t overbook it to hell and back, but it’s TNA so I’d bet on it. This is hardcore. Ok then. This is what I mean by overbooked. You have three great wrestlers in Sting, Jarrett and Styles and a tag team specialist that sells and bumps like few others in Hardy. Why can’t we have a standard tag here?
If it’s No DQ and falls count anywhere like Tenay said, why do they have to tag? Seeing Sting vs. Hardy is nearly surreal. And Sting walks away. He’s heading for the rafters and Jarrett finds him. Ok then. Hardy finds a ladder and Sting has a bat. Sting pins Jarrett just before Hardy can do his big spot.
Jesse Neal asks the Dudleys for their blessing in the Morgan tag. It just happens to be with the Dudleys. Wasn’t Rhyno his original mentor? One thing I like here is that they have the camera seemingly behind something. That’s a nice perk as it seems so stupid when there’s a camera in odd places.
Pope is here in a sling and eye patch. His pop is noticeably quieter. He says he’ll get AJ for what he did. The CAN I GET AN AMEN is a good thing he needs to stick with. Anderson comes down and makes fun of Pope. Pope says to get to the point or shut the hell up. Apparently Anderson wants a match at Sacrifice. Why? Just for the hell of it I guess. Anderson making chicken noises is kind of funny.
We go to the back and see Team 3D standing over Waltman who apparently lost about a quart of blood in an attack.
Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. Matt Morgan/Jesse Neal
Team 3D has 23 tag titles and this is for number 24. In other words, one for almost every Wrestlemania. We get a weird chant of Matt Morgan BOO Jesse Neal YAY. And here’s the Band. Neal goes to help Team 3D and Morgan beats the hell out of him of course. Not even a match. Literally 30 seconds or so before the run in.
We go to the back and Morgan says he’s not caring about Neal. Hogan shows up and says deal with Neal or deal with Hogan. Now THAT is what Hogan can do. Oh and it’s Superstar Jesse Neal now. Neal gets beaten down after a low blow and here’s Moore for the save.
We go the Bischoff for the announcement of the new ranking system. The fans can vote on the website as to who gets a shot. Lethal comes in and does his old jokes. This was ok though as it was at least a way to plug the new idea and now just random bad comedy.
Orlando Jordan talks about his art or something to that nature. He’s wearing a feather skirt. He wants a match with Rob Terry, who is going to be the first guest on the O Zone. Ok then.
Flair talks about his match tonight. He looks very sad.
Hall and Nash don’t want to talk, and they’re going to tell you about it. There’s going to be a third person next week.
We recap Flair vs. Abyss.
Ric Flair vs. Abyss
Remember, Flair is so mad about Abyss being given a ring that means so much that he’s willing to put up his own. Yeah, something doesn’t make sense there. Now let’s make sure to hear Hogan’s old theme for Abyss. To continue the cliché, Flair is bleeding early on. He bleeds a lot, Flair gets a brass knuckles shot to the head, it’s no sold, and a low blow puts him down for the pin. Ok then.
It’s a Dusty Finish though as Flair gets caught with the knucks and we restart. Abyss does the Hulk Up thing and throws in the three punches to set up the Black Hole Slam. Of course Hogan’s music plays and it’s the biggest win ever for Abyss. Ignore him being a former world champion after beating Sting of course. Hogan puts Flair’s ring on his own hand. Hogan says someone gets Flair’s ring next week. This was idiotic.
Results
Madison Rayne b. Tara and Angelina Love – Rollup on Love
Kazarian b. Shannon Moore – Reverse Piledriver
AJ Styles/Sting b. Jeff Hardy/Jeff Jarrett – Baseball Bat Shot to Jarrett
Team 3D b. Matt Morgan/Jesse Neal – Band interference
Abyss b. Ric Flair – Black Hole Slam
Tuesday
Raw – 3.1
Impact - .5
Supplemental Draft
To SmackDown
Cody Rhodes
Chavo Guerrero
Chris Masters
Hornswoggle
Rosa Mendes
MVP
To RAW
Great Khali & Ranjin Singh
Natalya
Ezekiel Jackson
Goldust
David Hart Smith
Tyson Kidd
NXT
Date: April 27, 2010
Location – Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators – Josh Matthews, Michael Cole
For some reason I’ve been wanting to see NXT all week. I’m liking this show and I have no idea why.
So tonight the contest is selling stuff. Yeah I’m not making this up. You have a minute to sell the most programs you can. Is this in case you can’t get a job as a wrestler?
Sheffield gets $60. In a minutes, that’s DAMN good. A buck a second? DAMN.
Wade Barrett/Chris Jericho vs. Heath Slater/Christian
Barrett – 4-4
Slater – 5-2
I like how they’re doing angles on the other shows now. Jericho gets into it with the referee as you would expect since he’s the one from last week. Christian dives onto Barrett to take him out. Slater goes for the same ending from last week and naturally it doesn’t work. Codebreaker ends it. Slater is 5-3 and Barrett is 5-4.
Bryan does his challenge and says he was never a capitalist so it’s time to give these things away. He tosses them to the crowd. Nicely done.
Carlito says that he wants Tarver to carry his bags. Do your job sonny boy.
We’re back and Gabriel is going third. HE SOLD 22 IN A MINUTE. That’s 330 dollars or 5.5 dollars a second. At that rate, he’s making NINETEEN THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS AN HOUR. Sweet damn.
Video package on Tarver. Sweet damn he sucks.
Darren Young vs. Michael Tarver
Young – 6-2
Tarver – 0-6
Young has the best overall record. Wow would not have guessed that one. Oddly enough, Gallows helps Young and it’s enough to get the pin in a short match. 7-2? I’m impressed. Ok not really.
Otunga is up next. I’ll spare you the jokes. Apparently Gabriel only got $210. Otunga tells some kids to do the work for him because celebrities don’t do manual labor. That’s actually really smart.
We recap the Draft. Oh yeah I need to put up the results of the Supplemental Draft. Granted that means little to you since they’ll be here when you read the review anyway so who cares?
We get a package on Gabriel and the general consensus is he can’t talk and has no personality. That’s a good point to be fair.
Truth is mad at Otunga for asking for help last week.
Slater is up next. Otunga got 315 apparently. Slater keeps dropping money. He doesn’t get the win and we don’t hear his total yet.
Young is up in I think 6th or something like that. Again, this is a smart way to get money for the company for little work or anything going into it. He doesn’t break it either.
Here’s Tarver. Tarver throws the bag down and walks off. Give me a break and get him off the damn show already. That leaves….Barrett. Yeah that’s it.
Barrett cuts a short promo and takes the change money and leaves. I love that.
The pros kiss Bryan’s ass. I don’t get it actually. His record has to mean something eventually right?
Otunga chooses to fight R-Truth next week.
The Miz vs. Skip Sheffield
Sheffield – 0-5
Miz’s face is BRUISED from the punch last night. Hell of a makeup job there. Miz says he can’t fight so Bryan is taking his place. Ok then.
Skip Sheffield vs. Daniel Bryan
Sheffield – 0-5
Bryan – 0-8
Bryan gets a heel hook and almost a tap. Naturally he doesn’t tap. An over the shoulder stunner ends it for Sheffield, making him 1-5 and Bryan 0-9. Ok then.
Results
Wade Barrett/Chris Jericho b. Christian/Heath Slater – Codebreaker to Slater
Darren Young b. Michael Tarver – Release Dragon Suplex
David Otunga won the Seal the Deal Challenge
Skip Sheffield b. Daniel Bryan – Over the Shoulder Stunner
Wednesday
So apparently Tara is gone in May, Shark Boy might leave and Homicide isn’t that happy. I’m stunned too. Who would have believed two talented workers would be leaving this soon after Hogan and company take over?
On another note, Shelton Benjamin and Maria might be coming in. Good and bad I guess.
Thursday
So apparently Bubba is gone from TNA. The fat annoying one is gone I mean.
Apparently that’s still not enough info. The fat annoying one that is really only good for talking and who hasn’t meant anything in years.
FOR THE LOVE OF CHEESE I MEAN BUBBA THE LOVE SPONGE NOT BUBBA DUDLEY!!!
Friday
Tony Atlas is gone too. Who would have thought that would be a headline in 2010?
Smackdown
Date: April 30, 2010
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker
We get a LONG recap video of the draft, showing how “awesome” Smackdown did but really just showcasing what Raw got. There’s a large focus on Edge. Teddy Long comes out and says how great Smackdown did and says here is one of the biggest names we got. It’s Kofi.
Kofi Kingston vs. Chris Jericho
Wait, isn’t the Canadian on Raw now? Apparently this is his final appearance. Got it. Oh yeah Kofi more or less acted like a total dick and kicked Jericho last Monday. I forgot about that. Jericho has something to say. Naturally it’s about how awesome he is, which is rather true I guess. It’s amazing that he’s 39. Kofi says instead of the fans growing up, Jericho should shut up. We start with Kofi being pushed into the corner and Jericho loudly calls a spot to him.
He makes up for it with a nice powerbomb counter though as we take our first break. Striker makes a joke implying that the Draft wasn’t fixed. That’s just hilarious. Kofi makes a comeback but gets caught in the Walls. Ok never mind as they get countered. The Trouble in Paradise however is countered into the Walls. Boom Drop is avoided, perhaps because of Kofi shouting BOOM BOOM BOOM just before he does it! You think that could have something to do with it?
Codebreaker puts Kofi onto the floor. It only gets two though as this is a fairly good match. Kofi gets a Trouble in Paradise from nowhere for the pin. Has Jericho EVER beaten Kofi? I actually don’t think he has.
We go to Swagger who is dressed to kill. He mentions George W. Bush invited him to the White House after winning the Rose Bowl. He calls Bush the best President ever. Methinks we’re in Chicago.
Back from break and Jericho is in the back, talking to an unseen person and saying the person could have helped him on Monday. And then Jericho is unconscious because it’s Big Show and he gets punched.
Chavo is here. He says he’s on Smackdown and no one needs to adjust their sets. Has ANYONE ever done that? He makes a quick speech and here’s Kane.
In a Mania 24 rematch, here we go. Ok maybe this isn’t a match. Kane chokeslams him and says welcome back then leaves. Ok then. Striker makes a Welcome Back Kotter reference so I’m happy.
Shad says it’s his time. He’s dressed well, but has he won a match since his push?
John Morrison vs. Cody Rhodes
Random but this works. Rhodes is called the Uncommon Son of the Common Man. So Dustin is the normal one??? Rhodes nails him on the floor and we go to a break. Cody hooks a Crossface Chickenwing. Didn’t Swags use that last week? Cody’s DNA is geared to success. Really? Cody hits a nice moonsault to a standing Morrison. Morrison comes back with that spinning kick he hits. Nice.
Solid match so far. Starship Pain misses but Morrison doesn’t crash. Always a good thing. Alabama Slam hits and THAT’S HARDCORE according to Striker. Nice one. Morrison hits a running knee that we’ve seen him win countless matches with. Countless is right. I can’t even get to the first one. Rhodes ducks a clothesline and Crossroads ends clean. Nice one again. Solid match.
Here’s more Swagger and he says that as captain of the Oklahoma Sooners he won three straight national titles. This is a really cool idea actually.
Edge is up next, now complete with heel beard.
We recap the Edge spear to Orton because we’ve forgotten it in the last 50 minutes I guess.
Yep he’s still over as a face despite them wanting to turn him heel again. He loves the fans so maybe I’m wrong. And here’s Christian. Ok then. Remember when they used to be brothers? WWE doesn’t. They met when they were in 6th grade apparently. Have these two been together in the last 5 years? Edge says Christian is his best friend. This is odd.
Christian says they’ve known each other forever, which is true. Just odd that they’re no longer brothers. I guess changing shows can do that to you. Christian says Edge didn’t mean a thing he just said. Edge asks Christian how many titles he’s won and Christian says none. SO THERE! ECW DOES NOT COUNT! Christian is acting really heelish here. Edge says Christian is right and that he can’t stand the fans and they’ve been his puppets.
Damn it can you let him be a fucking face for more than three months??? Christian says he wants Edge vs. Christian, not Edge and Christian. This is an actual feud that hasn’t been done yet. Edge jumps him and down goes the guy with the weaker resume. Spear is blocked and it’s a brawl. Edge tries to leave and Christian goes for the Killswitch. Yeah that looked idiotic. I want to smack whoever wrote the Goodbye song.
Back from break, Edge says we’ll never see Edge vs. Christian. Big Show punches him. There’s something awesome about a guy just knocking other guys out.
Michelle and Layla are in the ring and Michelle is gorgeous.
Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly vs. Michelle McCool/Layla
Any bets on who goes over here? If nothing else Beth’s pose doesn’t look like ridiculous now that she has a belt. Kelly hits the one move she can do somewhat well, the headscissors. Beth comes in and this is just not that good. Beth busts out a slingshot suplex and the Kelly wins with a thing where she jumps up on the other girl’s back and drops down like a Fameasser. WEAK.
Swagger says he had scholarship offers to a bunch of big schools. Nice.
Chris Master says there are a lot of viral videos and then does the pec dance on Smackdown for the first time. Ok that was kind of funny.
Dolph Ziggler is here. He talks about beating up Horny and says it’s the proudest moment of his career. Damn straight. Apparently Horny is in Leprechaun heaven. Seriously that’s all this was.
We recap Matt getting curb stomped last week. That was a great visual. Matt says he’ll be back and then Drew jumps him again. Futureshock DDT on the floor gets a SWEET sound.
JTG says nothing of note.
Here’s the Straight Edge Society. Punk talks about how he has his hair still and he did it by himself. This could become a great angle if they do it right and don’t castrate the thing. And here’s MVP to suck the life out of this show. And here’s Rey to finish killing off this segment. Naturally we get this.
Rey Mysterio/MVP vs. CM Punk/Luke Gallows
Oh how I’m riveted. This is as standard of a match as you can ask for. Crowd is DEAD for MVP. I mean DEAD. Ballin gets a weak reaction. 619 into Paydirt (now called the 305 apparently) ends this idiocy. The masked guy runs in and hits a neckbreaker on Rey. Masked guys are all sorts of fun.
Swagger says he graduated with honors and a 4.0. He was invited back to give the commencement speech. Cool.
And now he’s here in the arena. He appreciates the “cheering” but says he has something important to say. Damn the crowd is getting on him tonight. That’s a good sign. Apparently his father says he would be a world champion. Swagger lists off more factoids about himself. Solid promo here. This is basic heel stuff and he’s selling it perfectly. He got a full ride to Oklahoma. That’s awesome if nothing else.
He graduated Magna Cum Laude. A guy in the crowd has the old school IC belt. Swagger says he’s held the title 30 days. That’s not bad. Here’s Teddy though, likely with a new #1 contender. Hey I’m right. And it’s Big Show. People blasted Swagger’s promo in the LD. Why? It came off great.
The fans chant for Show to knock him out. Swagger is nearly as tall as Show. That’s damn impressive. Show is underrated on the mic. The punch lands and Swagger just collapses. That was GREAT and it ends the show.
Results
Kofi Kingston b. Chris Jericho – Trouble in Paradise
Cody Rhodes b. John Morrison – Crossroads
Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly b. Layla/Michelle McCool - Legdrop
Rey Mysterio/MVP b. Luke Gallows/CM Punk – Jumping Downward Spiral
Satuday
Nothing of note
Sunday
Damn this is a boring weekend.
Quick Results
Raw
Hart Dynasty b. Big Show/Miz – Sharpshooter on Miz
Michelle McCool/Lalya b. Eve Torres/Maryse – Big Boot to Maryse – Kelly Kelly to Smackdown
CM Punk b. Evan Bourne – Go To Sleep – Big Show to Smackdown
Team Raw won a battle royal – John Morrison, R-Truth,
Chris Jericho b. Christian – Codebreaker - Kofi Kingston to Smackdown
Jack Swagger b. John Morrison – Gutwrench Powerbomb – Christian to Smackdown
Hornswoggle b. Dolph Ziggler – Count out
Batista b. Sheamus and Randy Orton – Pin after Edge spear
Draft Picks
To Smackdown:
Kelly Kelly
Big Show
Kofi Kingston
Christian
To Raw:
John Morrison
R-Truth
Edge
Chris Jericho
Impact
Madison Rayne b. Tara and Angelina Love – Rollup on Love
Kazarian b. Shannon Moore – Reverse Piledriver
AJ Styles/Sting b. Jeff Hardy/Jeff Jarrett – Baseball Bat Shot to Jarrett
Team 3D b. Matt Morgan/Jesse Neal – Band interference
Abyss b. Ric Flair – Black Hole Slam
NXT
Wade Barrett/Chris Jericho b. Christian/Heath Slater – Codebreaker to Slater
Darren Young b. Michael Tarver – Release Dragon Suplex
David Otunga won the Seal the Deal Challenge
Skip Sheffield b. Daniel Bryan – Over the Shoulder Stunner
Smackdown
Kofi Kingston b. Chris Jericho – Trouble in Paradise
Cody Rhodes b. John Morrison – Crossroads
Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly b. Layla/Michelle McCool - Legdrop
Rey Mysterio/MVP b. Luke Gallows/CM Punk – Jumping Downward Spiral