klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Mick Foley is teasing heading to Raw for Rock’s birthday (May 2). I’d be stunned if that happened.
Matt Hardy is claiming he broke his arm last night. No one but him seems to buy it.
Smackdown got a 2.1, same as last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: April 18, 2011
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole
We’re in England tonight as you can see by the location of the show. This show was taped which might explain some differences in the look and feel of the show. We’re apparently a week away from the 2011 WWE Draft which means this might be the last night a lot of Raw stars are well….Raw stars. We also will likely get some more matches added to the Extreme Rules card. Let’s get to it.
Nickelback opens us up. Awesome. Yes I like them. Go ahead and make your jokes.
Here’s R-Truth to open the show in the arena. Cole cuts Lawler and King off almost immediately and says it’s not 12 years ago. Lawler says he likes listening to R-Truth rap. Why do I have a problem believing that? Truth says he’s going to preach the gospel. He’s been down a long road of trials, tribulations and demons. His problem now is that he’s in line to become WWE Champion. Cena’s name is booed. For the WWE Universe he’s fighting everybody anywhere anytime. And that is the truth.
Cue John Morrison who says he’s happy but would be happier if it was him. Morrison says Truth got lucky last week. Truth says he’s in the best shape of his life. We get a clip from last week where during a commercial a referee handed Truth some water as Cena came in. Morrison says Truth is in good shape for someone who smokes.
Truth: “All you’re trying to do is get me to challenge you to a match for my spot at Extreme Rules.” Morrison: “All right I accept.” Morrison points out that Truth said he’d fight anybody and the people seem to like the idea. Truth says he’ll do it on two conditions. First up a bottle of water and a cigarette. Morrison says he’ll need some luck too. Crowd had no response at all to those three final things.
John Morrison vs. R-Truth
This is for the spot at Extreme Rules apparently. Morrison takes over early and Truth hits the floor. The fans aren’t thrilled as he gets some water and we take a break. Back with Truth holding a headlock and then grabbing some pinning combinations for two. Back to the headlock again as I guess Truth was tired again? Morrison makes a small comeback with clotheslines but is takes down by a spinning kick by Truth.
Truth works on the arm for a bit and hits that suplex into a Stunner move of him for two. Axe kick misses as does Morrison’s kick off the middle rope. Morrison blocks the jumping downward spiral (which I think is called What’s Up but I’m not sure), putting Truth in perfect position for Starship Pain to end this in 7:08 (counting commercial). Morrison is now in the PPV main event.
Truth goes off on Morrison post match, apparently turning heel. He throws in a running knee to Morrison’s head, driving it into the railing. Then he kind of hougs Morrison and says it’s all right before throwing him down on the floor. He steals Jerry’s water and blasts Morrison in the head with it. Truth says John did this and hits What’s Up on the floor. He gets a cigarette from a fan and actually lights up. Never thought I’d see that on WWE programming. He blows smoke on Morrison and throws the lit cigarette at him before leaving. Long segment here but not too bad.
Evan Bourne vs. Dolph Ziggler
No entrance for Bourne here other than a faint trace of his music. Vickie does the regular entrance for Ziggler, who she claims is new and improved. He has a haircut and dark hair now. Well he doesn’t look like Curt Hennig anymore. Ziggler takes over quickly but is caught in a hurricanrana. Bourne tries to come off the ropes but gets caught by a dropkick for two.
We hit the mat and Ziggler looks like he’s unsure what he wants to do before settling on a bow and arrow kind of hold for a bit. Bourne keeps trying to fight back with some strikes but Ziggler takes him down with ease. A nice little string of offense by Evan ends with a spin kick for two. He goes up for Air Bourne but Ziggler moves. Bourne LANDS ON HIM FEET but is caught in a Zig Zag to end it at 2:10. That landing by Bourne was amazing.
Cole is going to be knighted later apparently.
The Raw Rewind is all three of Sin Cara’s appearances.
Video of Edge’s two appearances last week, set to 3 Doors Down’s When You’re Young. Del Rio is going to have a farewell party for Edge on Smackdown apparently.
Here’s Miz in a new shirt, along with Riley. It looks like a baseball jersey and says Awesome. Miz complains about being in a triple threat match and having it changed on him. The match is going to be in a cage also where you can win by pinfall, submission or escape. He wants a chair because he’s going to protest this change as we take a break.
Back with Miz running his mouth as we come back in mid sentence. He’s talking about how it doesn’t matter who does something because at Extreme Rules he’s going to still be champion at the end of the match. He sets for the catchphrase and Sin (Scene according to JR) Cara’s music cuts him off.
Sin Cara vs. Alex Riley
BIG height on the trampoline this week as he easily clears the top rope. Loud Sin Cara chant starts and here’s Cena at a full sprint to clear the ring. Well you can’t say Cara isn’t getting a good rub right of the bat. The GM sends an e-mail to make it a tag match. Works for me.
Alex Riley/The Miz vs. John Cena/Sin Cara
Riley and Cena start with the fans booing Cena out of the building. Bulldog takes Alex down and he bails to the floor as we take another break. Back with Cena taking it to Miz FU is blocked and Miz gets a Side Effect to send Cena into the corner. The announcers talk about the Draft and Jerry wants to know if Cole is drafted off Raw. My guess would be very little would change as he already does Smackdown but what do I know?
Riley and Miz hammer on Cena a bit more until Cena gets that sitout powerslam kind of move he hit last week. That’s enough for the hot tag as Cara comes in by kind of jumping into Miz. Things speed way up and Cara hits all kinds of dives and springboard moves to take down both opponents. He sets for what looked like a springboard splash of some sort but Riley made the save, pulling him to the floor.
Miz rams him into the apron and takes over as they’re now the legal men. The dueling Cena chants begin as Riley gets a clothesline for two. Back off to the champion who can’t get his running clothesline in the corner. Double tags bring in Riley and Cena and John initiates his ending sequence. Before 5 Knuckle Shuffle he takes out Miz. The champ picks up his title to leave as Cena hits the FU on Riley. Tag brings in Sin Cara who TOTALLY misses a springboard moonsault which is enough to end this at 10:30.
Nikki Bella vs. Eve Torres
Brie says that she wants a rematch but Eve might get drafted to Smackdown. Not really any kind of a threat or anything but just kind of a statement of fact. Eve misses a baseball slide to Nikki as she’s in a Tree of Woe to let Nikki take over. Brie I think tries to slam Eve’s knee into the apron but the contact doesn’t seem to be there. Nikki misses a double knee drop and Eve gets a rollup to end it at 1:48.
Eve poses after her win and Cole cuts it off. He’s going to be knighted next.
Back with Cole in the ring and he calls out Swagger. Jack comes out in a suit holding what looks like a robe over his arm. Swagger doesn’t look mad at him after last week. They hug so I guess everything is ok. Swagger pulls out a scroll and botches saying “Hear Ye” by saying “Hear He”. Tonight we add a new item to his hall of fame career as he becomes Sir Michael Cole.
Swagger brings out a woman that is called Queen Elizabeth. The fans boo loudly as she reads whatever proclamation she has and taps him on the shoulders with the sword. Cole kisses the queen and tries to start a Sir Michael Cole chant. The fans reply by chanting sucks. Cole says to show respect because they’re all his peasants. And speaking of peasants, he turns his attention to JR and the King. Isn’t a King ahead of a knight?
Cole says they should kiss his feet. Cole takes his shoe and sock off, revealing a disgusting looking foot that looks like it’s dirty and infected or something. Swagger takes Lawler out and then grabs Ross. JR of course refuses so the ankle lock goes on and down goes Ross onto the foot. Cole and Swagger stand tall.
Punk vs. Orton later tonight.
Santino Marella vs. Sheamus
Cole and Matthews on commentary now as this is what, the 7th or 8th week in a row that the same team doesn’t finish commentary? Sheamus says this might be his last chance to embarrass Santino due to the draft. The Champion sends Santino into the corner and takes over with ease. Powerslam is reversed and that’s about it for this sequence by Santino.
Off to that crossface chickenwing on the mat but Marella fights back up. An elbow drop leads to a similar version of the same hold. Total dominance for the first few minutes until Santino dodges a charge in the corner. He loads up the Cobra but falls down in the process. Brogue Kick ends this clean at 3:28.
CM Punk vs. Randy Orton
Punk grabs a headlock to start and the fans chant in a dueling fashion. Orton stomps Punk down in the corner which doesn’t last long at all. Punk fires off some knees to the head and a running one puts the Viper down. Orton comes back and gets his powerslam to set up the RKO. Punk shoves him off and we take a break.
Back with Punk slamming Orton and dropping a knee. Off to a front facelock and Orton can’t seem to reverse it. We get a GTS/RKO chant as Punk keeps up his offense. We go out to the floor for a bit as Punk wants to know if he can get a pin out there. Back in and it’s off to a modified triangle choke. Orton bites the fingers to escape. Punk tries a bulldog which is reversed into a belly to back suplex as we’re back to about even.
The bulldog hits this time and it gets two. Punk is all frustrated since getting bitten on the hand. He fires off some kicks but walks into the Orton backbreaks and an Angle Slam for two. Punk clotheslines him on the top rope as we get another dueling chant. Springboard clothesline gets two. Punk goes up, only to get caught by a superplex for a long two. Punk rolls to the apron which is a bad idea against Orton. Elevated DDT is reversed into a GTS attempt. That is countered into an RKO attempt but Punk gets a kick to the head. Another GTS attempt is countered into a rollup for the pin at 15:44.
Post match the New Nexus hits the ring for the big beatdown. Batista's Welsh son hits his Rock Bottom/Side Effect finisher to leave Orton laying. McGillicutty and Otunga want to do something of their own but Ryan says Orton is his. Ryan sets for a punt but Punk wants the honor. After taking forever, Punk charges into an RKO to end the show. Nice ending.
Results
John Morrison b. R-Truth – Starship Pain
Dolph Ziggler b. Evan Bourne – Zig Zag
Sin Cara/John Cena b. The Miz/Alex Riley – Springboard moonsault to Riley
Eve Torres b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
Randy Orton b. CM Punk – Rollup
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.1, which is a big drop from the 3.5 from last week which is a big drop from the 3.9 they had the week before. Not good at all.
Jim Neidhart got arrested again, this time for a traffic violation. Not huge this time but that’s another mark against him.
NXT
Date: April 19, 2011
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: William Regal, Josh Matthews
Week I think seven here as I’m starting to think no one is ever going home. I don’t mean that as hyperbole either. I’m thinking that it might be just one winner declared at the end rather than having eliminations. We don’t have much going on here probably as it’s another show in England which rarely get anything other than a token title change. Let’s get to it.
It’s interesting to me that all of the major shows in a major city like London are in the same city. Not saying it’s a bad thing but when you have shows in multiple major arenas in multiple cities in the same state in the same week at times normally, it’s kind of interesting to see.
One other note: I’ve been having very bad connection issues all night so I’m not sure if my internet is going to hold up 100% through the show. I’ll do the best I can though.
First up we have the joust challenge and there’s no Striker this week. The joust this time is a tug of war on the pedestals. There are three random matches and whoever Maryse says does best goes to the finals. O’Brian beats Saxton, Novak beats Young (WITH CONTROVERSY!!!!! They went off at the same time and had to go to the replay) and Cannon beats Titus by DQ because Titus tried to pick up too much rope or something.
This is flying by as they’ve done the first three in maybe 2 minutes. Cannon goes to the finals for being the most obnoxious. Ok then. Novak beats O’Brian and then Cannon (who gave up) in the finals to win. This took less than five minutes combined. Novak gets two points. Novak steals Cannon’s robe.
That’s What I Am ad.
JTG introduces Novak who is apparently a street guy now. He’s privileged to be an American apparently. It’s time to talk to Regal whose name gets a solid pop. Saxton and Kozlov cut them off and it’s time for O’Brian vs. Novak. Oh joy. What is this, their 5th match?
Jacob Novak vs. Conor O’Brian
Novak takes over early and gets a clothesline to put O’Brian down. We’re in the chinlock less than two minutes in. The lack of charisma here is so high it’s unreal. Novak puts him down with a big boot as the fans chant for Regal. O’Brian gets a rollup for a quick three abut the referee says shoulder was up, despite him slapping the mat three times. O’Brian grabs a rollup which Novak yells at Regal to end this at 3:03. Man I have to grade it.
Post match Novak shoves Regal who charges at him until JTG gets between them.
We recap (thankfully not re-air) the Morrison/Truth segment from last night which was a pretty good heel turn I thought. The recap is actually rather good, making the whole beating seem epic and making Truth look like he’s completely evil.
Saxton and Yoshi talk about Maryse in the back. Saxton says slow it down a bit. Yoshi says it’s cool. Maryse comes up and asks Yoshi to come shopping with her. Yoshi gets a kiss on the cheek and pays no attention to what Saxton suggests about their tag match later on.
Hornswoggle vs. Darren Young
Young is blindfolded and has an arm tied behind his back. Apparently Young shot his mouth off backstage and Chavo “just happens to have a rope right here.” What kind of freaky stuff is Chavo up to when he’s waiting on his matches? Also whose side is Chavo on here? He just happens to have a blindfold in his pocket too. I know you can make the argument that Chavo had time to get this stuff, but where do you find rope and a blindfold in a foreign city on such short notice? Odd indeed.
Regal randomly talks about how he used to manage the five Spice Girls but now at his age he can only manage two. It was as random as it sounds. This is exactly what you would expect it to be. Horny moves around and when the referee is distracted Young cheats by moving the blindfold with his right arm. Young gets shoved off the ropes and Horny hits the Tadpole Splash to end it at 1:28. This was one of those comedy matches where they left out the comedy.
Yoshi Tatsu/Byron Saxton vs. Lucky Cannon/Tyson Kidd
WOW I completely forgot Kidd was on this show. There’s a lot of time for this match too. Maryse is at ringside here. The rookies start us off but Cannon wants Yoshi. I know this because he shouts I WANT YOSHI. Off to Tatsu whose music sounds like constantly saying the word chimichanga. Listen to it over and over again and you’ll hear it too. This isn’t just me being random. Regal is talking about ground beef for some reason.
The pros are in there rather quickly and Kidd can’t get a backslide. Tatsu gets an appropriately Japanese armdrag and works the arm a bit as it’s off to Saxton. Bryon has the armbar on with his back to Yoshi yet Yoshi has his arm out for a tag anyway. Jumping back elbow gets two for Byron. Off to Yoshi again as Regal talks about how he would never be able to make it in this kind of environment. I’m not sure what you can really draw out of that but there’s something there.
Kidd gets kicked in the face and clotheslined to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cannon holding Saxton in a modified triangle choke. That lasts a few seconds as we have to see a replay of what happened during the break. Kidd jumped Cannon apparently to give his team the advantage. Off to Kidd again who gets the dreaded “aggression” tag put on him.
Sunset flip by Saxton gets two but he can’t keep the arms down. Regal actually has a name for getting the legs over the arms, which is apparently called the double legged nelson. That’s a new one on me. Saxton tries to fight back but gets kicked in the head by Cannon to take him back down. Cannon gets him down and hammers away while yelling at him. “It’s all” *WHACK* “about” *WHACK* “ME!” *WHACK* Not quite Magnum and Tully but it’s something I guess.
Saxton fights back and it’s a double tag to bring in the pros. Tatsu takes over and a big kick gets a long two. The crowd is starting to get into this now. That says something about the rookies I think. Shining Wizard gets two. Yoshi sets for something but Cannon hits on Maryse. Yoshi gets distracted and a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza from Kidd ends him at 11:26. And yes that’s the real name of the move.
Results
Jacob Novak won the Pull Through Challenge
Conor O’Brian b. Jacob Novak – Rollup
Hornswoggle b. Darren Young – Tadpole Splash
Tyson Kidd/Lucky Cannon b. Yoshi Tatsu/Byron Saxton – Fisherman’s Suplex into a spinning neckbreaker to Tatsu
Wednesday
Jackson Andrews, Tyson Kidd’s bodyguard for like two days, might have been released. Welcome to TNA I’d bet.
Apparently Jay Lethal is gone from TNA. Can’t say he’ll be missed since he’s barely around anymore.
Thursday
Impact
Date: April 21, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Two Horses for Sister Karen
We’re past Lockdown now which means we can move on from some of the stuff we had been building to. Sting is still world champion and AJ is back. Not a lot really changed at the PPV which is kind of odd but it is what it is. Anyway, tonight we begin the road to Sacrifice which doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as Road to Lockdown. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the Lockdown including all three major matches. Jarrett vs. Angle resulted in multiple injuries. Why do I have a feeling this feud is going to continue? Karen says it’s over. We also recap Lethal Lockdown with AJ’s return after…..17 days of being gone. Also Sting wants to fight Hogan.
Cue AJ to open the show, repelling down from the ceiling into a cage full of weapons. He talks about Bully Ray and his big return at Lockdown. The only reason AJ was there was to get his revenge but he’s not done. He wants Ray in the cage tonight. AJ rips off his shirt and is ready to fight. Here’s Ray for his reply.
Ray talks about putting AJ in a hospital for a month. Uh….not quite. Ray says that he’ll do it again and do it even worse this time. Then he’ll go AJ’s house and take care of his wife and kids. The wife part doesn’t sound that bad apparently. AJ is waiting in the ring instead of going after Ray for some reason, perhaps due to not wanting to be jumped by Immortal. Rey comes to the cage but stops early. Ray has nothing left to prove since he’s already taken AJ out once.
He turns to leave but Daniels jumps the Bully in the aisle. Daniels throws Ray into the cage and the beatdown is on. Ray is sent into the cage a few times and takes a Pele to put him down. Big trashcan shot to the head and Ray is down. Gunner comes out to try to make the save but is picked off by Daniels. They fight up the ramp and AJ puts Ray on the table. Is the rest of Immortal just busy or something? Ray has a BIG knot on his forehead. With Ray on the table, AJ goes to the top of the cage, only for Ray to get off the table and head out the door.
We recap Lethal Lockdown and are told that Flair had a torn rotator cuff due to the armbar by Roode. He’s been hurt for awhile so that’s the angle to get him off TV. That’s probably the best thing for him really.
Rob Terry and Murphy come out to the cage and run off the guys clearing out the weapons. They’re here to get payback on Beer Money for hurting Flair so they’re going to take the tag titles right now. Beer Money comes out and says cool. The match starts after the break.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Murphy/Rob Terry
The match has started during the break apparently as Roode is in trouble when we come back. Terry gets a World’s Strongest Slam for two. There are weapons hanging around the ring as well. Off to Murphy who works on the back a bit more. Terry sends him into the cage and a clothesline gets two. Roode finally gets in a shot and both guys are down.
Hot tag to Storm who hammers away on both guys. Codebreaker takes Murphy down as does a DDT and superkick to Terry. Everything breaks down and the AA Spinebuster to Terry puts him down. Double suplex to Murphy and it’s time for a double taunt. DWI ends Terry at 4:03 shown.
The Jarretts take a carriage ride and Jeff praises Karen a lot. It’s her night apparently. Since Jeff is King of the Mountain, she gets crowned Queen of the Mountain tonight. This is going to trump the royal wedding apparently. We look at the horses which I guess is what the episode title is referencing.
Hogan is on his way to the ring, pipe in hand.
Here’s Hogan after a break. He says he’s awesome and wants RVD here now. Hogan says everyone knows RVD is a few fries short of a Happy Meal. Not quite as 90s as bad mamma jamma but close. RVD asks if Hogan remembers the time before he was a heel. He turned his back on everyone for ratings though. Hogan says nothing has changed and RVD says now everyone wishes Hogan would just go away.
RVD says he accomplished everything he’s accomplished with respect. I’m not touching that one. A leg drop isn’t enough anymore because things have changed, but RVD won’t. Hogan says RVD has always been a big fish in a small pond. Uh….what? As long as Hogan is around, RVD will only be in the midcard apparently.
Cue Sting who says he invited himself. RVD is a main eventer apparently because he’ll be in the main event at Sacrifice thanks to the Network. Hogan: “Are you high too Stinger? Because if you are give me some!” Apparently the Network says that Sting gets to pick his opponents now. Hogan says he runs the show but Sting says the executives are coming soon. Hogan says RVD has a problem tonight against Abyss with Hogan in Abyss’ corner. Also Sting vs. Matt Hardy as a chance for revenge for Matt’s brother. No word on if the main event is a title match.
Kurt is looking for the Jarretts and someone saw them in the parking lot.
Madison and Tara argue in the back because it’s apparently Tara’s fault Madison lost the title. There’s a Knockouts Tag Title match tonight also.
Eric is feeding the horses which he names Mongo and Sid, apparently the best Horsemen of all time. I give up. Young is feeding them beans. Angle says go get some buckets. Kurt has evil ideas about buckets apparently.
Knockouts Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Madison Rayne/Tara
Matt vs. Sting is for the title apparently. Mexican America looks like they want to let the flag come down but it doesn’t show up. Anarquia runs down America a bit. Ah there’s the flag. The match starts after the break. Just like earlier we come back with the match in progress. Tara slaps Madison on the arm to tag her and they almost come to blows. Sarita dances and hits a dropkick.
Madison slams her into the mat and adds a big boot so she can yell at both chicks again. Now she yells at Tara. Some of you might be noticing a pattern here. The guys distract the referee so Rosita can throw Madison into a clothesline to end this at 1:54 shown. Yes, Madison kept the Knockout Title for 6 months and here she loses to a clothesline. Too short to grade.
Time for Karen to be crowned. Jeff talks about how awesome Karen is for awhile. They’re both in pure white too. She’s officially the Queen of the Mountain. And of course there’s manure in the crown. Kurt comes out and hits an Angle Slam on Jarrett to a chair. Angle says he has a mistress that will hurt Karen for him and she’ll be here soon.
Hogan gives Abyss a pep talk in the back. Hogan goes over to Anderson and asks if Anderson knows who the Network person is. Anderson makes fun of Hogan, saying that this has to be a rib. Hogan says Anderson is the only person that he hates in wrestling and he hates being in the same room with him. Then why does Hogan keep going to talk to him? Hogan says if this was about 10 years ago this would end differently for Anderson. Anderson says he’s bored so he has to go annoy someone else.
Back and we recap what we just saw. The manure came from the ceiling, not out of the crown. I thought there was a lot of it to fit in the crown.
Abyss vs. Rob Van Dam
They start the brawl almost immediately and Abyss goes down. Big boot puts RVD down and we hit the neck crank almost immediately. This is far more of a brawl than a match which is what it should be. RVD lands a kick which apparently knocked out two of Abyss’ teeth. RVD makes his comeback and Hogan distracts the referee. It’s a ruse though for him to slide the pipe in to Abyss who pops Van Dam in the ribs with it. Black Hole Slam ends this at 3:51.
Hogan and Abyss set to attack RVD but Crimson makes the save.
Sting says he can’t wait to wrestle because that’s what he does.
Matt has Jeff’s title belt and we reference him a bit. Matt is COLD BLOODED!
Here’s Matt Morgan to talk about wanting the world title. He’s tired of waiting and wants the title right now. Cue Scott Steiner of all people. He talks about Morgan being the DNA of TNA. If Steiner had Morgan’s DNA he’d kill himself then hang himself. The line for world title shots starts behind Steiner apparently. Steiner says Morgan is beneath him, just like Morgan’s girlfriend was last night.
Morgan says Steiner was an inspiration to him and talks about Steiner bringing athleticism back to this art form. Don’t misinterpret the respect for weakness though because there’s nothing weak on him. They make the obvious match. They shake hands and Steiner kicks him low. Steiner Recliner goes on and Morgan is left laying.
Tessmacher is back. Ok then.
Velvet and Winter have their usual moment of the week. Velvet is going to go to the authorities with this. Angelina destroys her.
TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Sting
Matt has Jeff’s world title, making it the third world title belt currently being worn by someone in TNA. Immortal is waiting on Sting in the aisle but Fourtune runs out for the save. Sting never got touched if that’s not clear. As Sting gets in the ring, Gunner gets a shot to the knee with a pipe. Matt takes over on a one legged Sting and a second rope leg drop gets two.
Moonsault misses though as Sting manages to roll out of the way. Scorpion is attempted but Matt kicks him off at the last second so he can go after the knee again. Chop block gets two. We take a break with Sting avoiding an elbow drop. Back with Matt working over Sting who is in the t-shirt again this week. The injured leg has changed to the right one now but I guess left and right is hard to keep track of. Back to the left one now. Sting makes a comeback but misses the Splash. Hot shot into snake eyes sets up the Scorpion Death Drop to keep Sting’s title at 9:30 total.
Anderson comes out and hits Mic Checks on both guys, saying to Sting that he’s not going away yet.
Karen FREAKS over the Angle thing and yells at Jeff even though he can barely move. Jeff wants to know how many times he has to beat Angle. Karen is REALLY annoying here, which she’s supposed to be.
Hogan says Anderson is done. He says the Network is coming at him like a double fisted kangaroo. Has he been chilling with JR or something?
Results
Beer Money b. Rob Terry/Murphy – DWI to Terry
Rosita/Sarita b. Madison Rayne/Tara – Clothesline to Rayne
Abyss b. Rob Van Dam – Black Hole Slam
Sting b. Matt Hardy – Scorpion Death Drop
Friday
Impact got a 1.17 with almost 200,000 more viewers than last week.
Dixie Carter has stepped down as TNA president and Bischoff might replace here. Oh dear.
Smackdown
Date: April 22, 2011
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T
Tonight Alberto Del Rio is going to have a going away party for Edge who apparently will be in attendance tonight. Things are all leading to the Draft on Monday where things are going to get turned upside down as they typically do. This should be fun as Smackdown was pretty good last week. They’ve changed their style to more of a squash heavy show which works in a different way than the style they had used before. Let’s get to it.
We open with the 3 Doors Down video from Raw which works for me as they’re my favorite band. This is a clipped down version, as in like 45 seconds long.
We also get a recap of the ending of the battle royal last week with Christian winning the spot in the match against Del Rio.
Do you know your enemy? Mine at the moment is people that can’t understand what “no lettuce” means.
The world title belt is hanging above the ring.
Big Show and Kane vs. Corre for the tag titles later as well as Kofi vs. Barrett for the IC Title. Didn’t he get a rematch already?
Cole gets a big introduction as Sir Michael Cole. Wouldn’t he be subservient to King Booker?
Cody Rhodes comes out with a paper bag. There are also people in suits with a shopping cart. Cody says his mask is for protection but Rey’s is for hiding his fears and hatred for the fans. He talks about how the fans are all wearing masks as we’re getting philosophical here. He has a remedy though at his own expense. In the shopping cart are paper bags with faces cut out of them. Not quite the cars that Oprah gives away but a nice gift I guess. Cody has a bag saved for Rey.
Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio
Rey gets a kick in early and we head to the floor. Rey gets a seated senton off the apron as we take a break. Back with Cody knocking Rey off the top and taking over. Cody tries a powerbomb which is reversed for two. Big old clothesline gets two for Rhodes as Cody is being all psycho. Dropkick looks to set up the 619 but Cody reverses with a backdrop to the apron. They fight on said apron with Cody sending Rey into the post as we take ANOTHER break. We’ve had two breaks with three minutes of actual wrestling to watch.
Back with Cody hammering away as Booker and Cole get into it again. Rey does the Bret Hart chest into the buckle bump so Cody can ram the mask into the head of Rey. Booker thinks Cody has amnesia. What in the world is Booker on anyway? Rey fights Cody off of the top and gets some high flying stuff including a cross body for two. The swinging kick to a seated Cody misses as he rolls Rey up for two.
Top rope….something….jumps into a dropkick by Cody for two. It might have been a cross body but it wasn’t actually cross. Cody sets for Cross Rhodes but Rey fights out of it. Another powerbomb is attempted but Rey counters again, this time into a rana for the pin at 7:10 shown of 14:10.
Cody keeps beating on Rey post match and they go into the crowd for a bit. They get bored out there I guess as they head back to ringside. Cody sends Rey into the steps and they fight on the barricade. Rey sends him into the crowd again and takes over. Rey LAUNCHES Cody over the railing to send him back towards the ring. Cody looked like a mannequin flying through the air. Cody takes over again and hits Cross Rhodes on the floor. He puts a paper bag over Rey’s head and leaves him laying.
Gabriel and Barrett are in the back and Gabriel says it wasn’t personal when he eliminated him. Barrett says it was personal and Slater says they both would have sold their mother down the river to get ahead. Jackson comes up and says calm down because he’s the leader. Barrett glares at him so Jackson says he’s just kidding. Barrett and the tag champions still aren’t happy.
We recap Laycool’s therapy from last week. They had more therapy earlier today and McCool says Layla wouldn’t be here without her. They argue even more and yell at the therapist. McCool says maybe they should split because Layla might not be flawless. Michelle apologizes and they hug to a nice pop. And never mind as McCool grabs her by the hair and throws her onto the couch. I’ll let that image sink in for a few moments before I point out it was to hurt Layla. She cries as McCool leaves.
Cole is in the ring and we see a clip of the knighting and feet kissing thing from Raw. He brings out Swagger for the following squash.
Jack Swagger vs. Trent Barreta
Total squash as Swagger beats him up with ease, hitting the Vader Bomb. An enziguri hits and Trent tries a springboard, only to get caught in a powerbomb. Angle lock ends clean at 1:13.
Big Show was at the Kids Choice Awards.
Tag Titles: Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel vs. Big Show/Kane
Slater vs. Kane to start as we’re talking about John Kennedy for some reason. Cole says Booker is jealous because he’s not a King anymore. Maybe he’s an 8 or 9 but not a King. Show comes in for some pounding and it’s back off to Kane. Slater gets a shot to the knee and immediately tags out. Gabriel comes in and before he takes two steps takes a right hand from Kane to take him down. That looked great!
Kane goes up but Jackson shoves him off to set up the Ricky Morton stint. Slater grabs a chinlock and tags out again to Justin. Gabriel at least makes it more than a few seconds before getting drilled this time that’s an upgrade for him. Kane pops him with another hard sounding shot and tries the side slam. Gabriel reverses into a spinning DDT for two. Slater comes off the top and Kane pops him as well. He’s been sharp with those punches in this.
Hot tag to Show who cleans house. Slater gets sent to the floor onto Jackson and Kane hits that uppercut on Jackson as well. He must have been following his brother with only big right hands or uppercuts. Anyway Slater runs into Big Show and we remember who is who here, meaning the chokeslam gives us new champion at 4:04. Kane and Big Show were never once in anything resembling jeopardy here.
The Corre argues in the back with Jackson blaming Slater for getting pinned and Slater shoving Gabriel and walking away.
Drew McIntyre vs. Chris Masters
When is the last time Masters won a match that wasn’t on Superstars? Masters shoves him into the corner to start and sends Drew to the apron. Masterlock out there doesn’t work so Chris blasts him to the apron. Back in and Drew wakes up a bit as he hammers away for two. Futureshock is reversed into a small package for two. Sky High gets two for Masters as he makes a nice comeback. Middle rope shoulder gets two and he goes for the Masterlock again. Drew walks up the corner and slams back onto Masters to reverse. Futureshock ends this at 3:35. Nice pop for McIntyre.
Raw ReBound is the R-Truth heel turn from Raw. The video they have is the one from NXT which is much better than the actual turn itself. Eats up about 4:30.
We recap the Rhodes/Mysterio match and post match stuff from earlier. The match at the PPV will be falls count anywhere. That fits with the crowd thing earlier I guess.
Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett
Jackson is with Barrett. Kofi hammers away to start as Booker says Kofi worries about the fans too much. Barrett gets a boot in to take over. Kofi sends him to the floor and hits a BIG cross body to the floor as we take a break. Back with Barrett holding a bow and arrow hold on Kingston. During the break Barrett sent Kofi into the steps to take over.
Back to the floor again as Barrett might have a bad wrist or hand. Jackson accidently takes Barrett out and we head back in. Barrett yells at Jackson and sends him to the back. Small package gets two for Kofi and it’s comeback (was he ever in trouble) time. Boom Drop hits and Kofi sets for Trouble in Paradise. Wade catches him in a fireman’s carry and puts Kofi on top. Kofi tries a victory roll/rollup off the ropes but Barrett kneels down and grabs the ropes for the pin at 4:24 shown of 7:54. Well that was short.
Time for Alberto’s party for Edge. Clay and Rodriguez are there with him of course. There are presents apparently and they’re under sheets. Alberto pulls the first sheet off and it’s a grandfather clock. Gift number two: adult diapers. Make you own jokes there. The third gift is her.
Cue LITA of all people….and it’s a fat chick. Yeah I think we all saw that coming. Del Rio says she never looked better. Edge can go on a romantic stroll with her because he has this: a walker. Time for the final gift which is a motorized scooter driven by Ricardo. He does the Edge pose for the pyro to go off. Oh and it comes complete with a handicap parking pass.
Cue Edge, looking a bit more like himself in jeans and a t-shirt with sunglasses. Edge RSVPed on Facebook (that was on the graphic every time they showed it tonight) and this party sucks. After some bad insults, Del Rio sends Brodus after Edge. Christian pops up from nowhere with a ladder to drill Brodus and Del Rio as Alberto charges. Christian sets the ladder up in the middle of the ring and pulls down the title to end the show.
Results
Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Hurricanrana
Jack Swagger b. Trent Barreta – Ankle Lock
Big Show/Kane b. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel – Chokeslam to Slater
Drew McIntyre b. Chris Masters – Futureshock
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup
Saturday
There’s a rumor going around that Desmond Wolfe is done due to Hepatitis C. Not confirmed yet though.
Sunday
Nothing of note today.
Quick Results
Raw
John Morrison b. R-Truth – Starship Pain
Dolph Ziggler b. Evan Bourne – Zig Zag
Sin Cara/John Cena b. The Miz/Alex Riley – Springboard moonsault to Riley
Eve Torres b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
Randy Orton b. CM Punk – Rollup
NXT
Jacob Novak won the Pull Through Challenge
Conor O’Brian b. Jacob Novak – Rollup
Hornswoggle b. Darren Young – Tadpole Splash
Tyson Kidd/Lucky Cannon b. Yoshi Tatsu/Byron Saxton – Fisherman’s Suplex into a spinning neckbreaker to Tatsu
Impact
Beer Money b. Rob Terry/Murphy – DWI to Terry
Rosita/Sarita b. Madison Rayne/Tara – Clothesline to Rayne
Abyss b. Rob Van Dam – Black Hole Slam
Sting b. Matt Hardy – Scorpion Death Drop
Smackdown
Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Hurricanrana
Jack Swagger b. Trent Barreta – Ankle Lock
Big Show/Kane b. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel – Chokeslam to Slater
Drew McIntyre b. Chris Masters – Futureshock
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup
Mick Foley is teasing heading to Raw for Rock’s birthday (May 2). I’d be stunned if that happened.
Matt Hardy is claiming he broke his arm last night. No one but him seems to buy it.
Smackdown got a 2.1, same as last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: April 18, 2011
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole
We’re in England tonight as you can see by the location of the show. This show was taped which might explain some differences in the look and feel of the show. We’re apparently a week away from the 2011 WWE Draft which means this might be the last night a lot of Raw stars are well….Raw stars. We also will likely get some more matches added to the Extreme Rules card. Let’s get to it.
Nickelback opens us up. Awesome. Yes I like them. Go ahead and make your jokes.
Here’s R-Truth to open the show in the arena. Cole cuts Lawler and King off almost immediately and says it’s not 12 years ago. Lawler says he likes listening to R-Truth rap. Why do I have a problem believing that? Truth says he’s going to preach the gospel. He’s been down a long road of trials, tribulations and demons. His problem now is that he’s in line to become WWE Champion. Cena’s name is booed. For the WWE Universe he’s fighting everybody anywhere anytime. And that is the truth.
Cue John Morrison who says he’s happy but would be happier if it was him. Morrison says Truth got lucky last week. Truth says he’s in the best shape of his life. We get a clip from last week where during a commercial a referee handed Truth some water as Cena came in. Morrison says Truth is in good shape for someone who smokes.
Truth: “All you’re trying to do is get me to challenge you to a match for my spot at Extreme Rules.” Morrison: “All right I accept.” Morrison points out that Truth said he’d fight anybody and the people seem to like the idea. Truth says he’ll do it on two conditions. First up a bottle of water and a cigarette. Morrison says he’ll need some luck too. Crowd had no response at all to those three final things.
John Morrison vs. R-Truth
This is for the spot at Extreme Rules apparently. Morrison takes over early and Truth hits the floor. The fans aren’t thrilled as he gets some water and we take a break. Back with Truth holding a headlock and then grabbing some pinning combinations for two. Back to the headlock again as I guess Truth was tired again? Morrison makes a small comeback with clotheslines but is takes down by a spinning kick by Truth.
Truth works on the arm for a bit and hits that suplex into a Stunner move of him for two. Axe kick misses as does Morrison’s kick off the middle rope. Morrison blocks the jumping downward spiral (which I think is called What’s Up but I’m not sure), putting Truth in perfect position for Starship Pain to end this in 7:08 (counting commercial). Morrison is now in the PPV main event.
Truth goes off on Morrison post match, apparently turning heel. He throws in a running knee to Morrison’s head, driving it into the railing. Then he kind of hougs Morrison and says it’s all right before throwing him down on the floor. He steals Jerry’s water and blasts Morrison in the head with it. Truth says John did this and hits What’s Up on the floor. He gets a cigarette from a fan and actually lights up. Never thought I’d see that on WWE programming. He blows smoke on Morrison and throws the lit cigarette at him before leaving. Long segment here but not too bad.
Evan Bourne vs. Dolph Ziggler
No entrance for Bourne here other than a faint trace of his music. Vickie does the regular entrance for Ziggler, who she claims is new and improved. He has a haircut and dark hair now. Well he doesn’t look like Curt Hennig anymore. Ziggler takes over quickly but is caught in a hurricanrana. Bourne tries to come off the ropes but gets caught by a dropkick for two.
We hit the mat and Ziggler looks like he’s unsure what he wants to do before settling on a bow and arrow kind of hold for a bit. Bourne keeps trying to fight back with some strikes but Ziggler takes him down with ease. A nice little string of offense by Evan ends with a spin kick for two. He goes up for Air Bourne but Ziggler moves. Bourne LANDS ON HIM FEET but is caught in a Zig Zag to end it at 2:10. That landing by Bourne was amazing.
Cole is going to be knighted later apparently.
The Raw Rewind is all three of Sin Cara’s appearances.
Video of Edge’s two appearances last week, set to 3 Doors Down’s When You’re Young. Del Rio is going to have a farewell party for Edge on Smackdown apparently.
Here’s Miz in a new shirt, along with Riley. It looks like a baseball jersey and says Awesome. Miz complains about being in a triple threat match and having it changed on him. The match is going to be in a cage also where you can win by pinfall, submission or escape. He wants a chair because he’s going to protest this change as we take a break.
Back with Miz running his mouth as we come back in mid sentence. He’s talking about how it doesn’t matter who does something because at Extreme Rules he’s going to still be champion at the end of the match. He sets for the catchphrase and Sin (Scene according to JR) Cara’s music cuts him off.
Sin Cara vs. Alex Riley
BIG height on the trampoline this week as he easily clears the top rope. Loud Sin Cara chant starts and here’s Cena at a full sprint to clear the ring. Well you can’t say Cara isn’t getting a good rub right of the bat. The GM sends an e-mail to make it a tag match. Works for me.
Alex Riley/The Miz vs. John Cena/Sin Cara
Riley and Cena start with the fans booing Cena out of the building. Bulldog takes Alex down and he bails to the floor as we take another break. Back with Cena taking it to Miz FU is blocked and Miz gets a Side Effect to send Cena into the corner. The announcers talk about the Draft and Jerry wants to know if Cole is drafted off Raw. My guess would be very little would change as he already does Smackdown but what do I know?
Riley and Miz hammer on Cena a bit more until Cena gets that sitout powerslam kind of move he hit last week. That’s enough for the hot tag as Cara comes in by kind of jumping into Miz. Things speed way up and Cara hits all kinds of dives and springboard moves to take down both opponents. He sets for what looked like a springboard splash of some sort but Riley made the save, pulling him to the floor.
Miz rams him into the apron and takes over as they’re now the legal men. The dueling Cena chants begin as Riley gets a clothesline for two. Back off to the champion who can’t get his running clothesline in the corner. Double tags bring in Riley and Cena and John initiates his ending sequence. Before 5 Knuckle Shuffle he takes out Miz. The champ picks up his title to leave as Cena hits the FU on Riley. Tag brings in Sin Cara who TOTALLY misses a springboard moonsault which is enough to end this at 10:30.
Nikki Bella vs. Eve Torres
Brie says that she wants a rematch but Eve might get drafted to Smackdown. Not really any kind of a threat or anything but just kind of a statement of fact. Eve misses a baseball slide to Nikki as she’s in a Tree of Woe to let Nikki take over. Brie I think tries to slam Eve’s knee into the apron but the contact doesn’t seem to be there. Nikki misses a double knee drop and Eve gets a rollup to end it at 1:48.
Eve poses after her win and Cole cuts it off. He’s going to be knighted next.
Back with Cole in the ring and he calls out Swagger. Jack comes out in a suit holding what looks like a robe over his arm. Swagger doesn’t look mad at him after last week. They hug so I guess everything is ok. Swagger pulls out a scroll and botches saying “Hear Ye” by saying “Hear He”. Tonight we add a new item to his hall of fame career as he becomes Sir Michael Cole.
Swagger brings out a woman that is called Queen Elizabeth. The fans boo loudly as she reads whatever proclamation she has and taps him on the shoulders with the sword. Cole kisses the queen and tries to start a Sir Michael Cole chant. The fans reply by chanting sucks. Cole says to show respect because they’re all his peasants. And speaking of peasants, he turns his attention to JR and the King. Isn’t a King ahead of a knight?
Cole says they should kiss his feet. Cole takes his shoe and sock off, revealing a disgusting looking foot that looks like it’s dirty and infected or something. Swagger takes Lawler out and then grabs Ross. JR of course refuses so the ankle lock goes on and down goes Ross onto the foot. Cole and Swagger stand tall.
Punk vs. Orton later tonight.
Santino Marella vs. Sheamus
Cole and Matthews on commentary now as this is what, the 7th or 8th week in a row that the same team doesn’t finish commentary? Sheamus says this might be his last chance to embarrass Santino due to the draft. The Champion sends Santino into the corner and takes over with ease. Powerslam is reversed and that’s about it for this sequence by Santino.
Off to that crossface chickenwing on the mat but Marella fights back up. An elbow drop leads to a similar version of the same hold. Total dominance for the first few minutes until Santino dodges a charge in the corner. He loads up the Cobra but falls down in the process. Brogue Kick ends this clean at 3:28.
CM Punk vs. Randy Orton
Punk grabs a headlock to start and the fans chant in a dueling fashion. Orton stomps Punk down in the corner which doesn’t last long at all. Punk fires off some knees to the head and a running one puts the Viper down. Orton comes back and gets his powerslam to set up the RKO. Punk shoves him off and we take a break.
Back with Punk slamming Orton and dropping a knee. Off to a front facelock and Orton can’t seem to reverse it. We get a GTS/RKO chant as Punk keeps up his offense. We go out to the floor for a bit as Punk wants to know if he can get a pin out there. Back in and it’s off to a modified triangle choke. Orton bites the fingers to escape. Punk tries a bulldog which is reversed into a belly to back suplex as we’re back to about even.
The bulldog hits this time and it gets two. Punk is all frustrated since getting bitten on the hand. He fires off some kicks but walks into the Orton backbreaks and an Angle Slam for two. Punk clotheslines him on the top rope as we get another dueling chant. Springboard clothesline gets two. Punk goes up, only to get caught by a superplex for a long two. Punk rolls to the apron which is a bad idea against Orton. Elevated DDT is reversed into a GTS attempt. That is countered into an RKO attempt but Punk gets a kick to the head. Another GTS attempt is countered into a rollup for the pin at 15:44.
Post match the New Nexus hits the ring for the big beatdown. Batista's Welsh son hits his Rock Bottom/Side Effect finisher to leave Orton laying. McGillicutty and Otunga want to do something of their own but Ryan says Orton is his. Ryan sets for a punt but Punk wants the honor. After taking forever, Punk charges into an RKO to end the show. Nice ending.
Results
John Morrison b. R-Truth – Starship Pain
Dolph Ziggler b. Evan Bourne – Zig Zag
Sin Cara/John Cena b. The Miz/Alex Riley – Springboard moonsault to Riley
Eve Torres b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
Randy Orton b. CM Punk – Rollup
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.1, which is a big drop from the 3.5 from last week which is a big drop from the 3.9 they had the week before. Not good at all.
Jim Neidhart got arrested again, this time for a traffic violation. Not huge this time but that’s another mark against him.
NXT
Date: April 19, 2011
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: William Regal, Josh Matthews
Week I think seven here as I’m starting to think no one is ever going home. I don’t mean that as hyperbole either. I’m thinking that it might be just one winner declared at the end rather than having eliminations. We don’t have much going on here probably as it’s another show in England which rarely get anything other than a token title change. Let’s get to it.
It’s interesting to me that all of the major shows in a major city like London are in the same city. Not saying it’s a bad thing but when you have shows in multiple major arenas in multiple cities in the same state in the same week at times normally, it’s kind of interesting to see.
One other note: I’ve been having very bad connection issues all night so I’m not sure if my internet is going to hold up 100% through the show. I’ll do the best I can though.
First up we have the joust challenge and there’s no Striker this week. The joust this time is a tug of war on the pedestals. There are three random matches and whoever Maryse says does best goes to the finals. O’Brian beats Saxton, Novak beats Young (WITH CONTROVERSY!!!!! They went off at the same time and had to go to the replay) and Cannon beats Titus by DQ because Titus tried to pick up too much rope or something.
This is flying by as they’ve done the first three in maybe 2 minutes. Cannon goes to the finals for being the most obnoxious. Ok then. Novak beats O’Brian and then Cannon (who gave up) in the finals to win. This took less than five minutes combined. Novak gets two points. Novak steals Cannon’s robe.
That’s What I Am ad.
JTG introduces Novak who is apparently a street guy now. He’s privileged to be an American apparently. It’s time to talk to Regal whose name gets a solid pop. Saxton and Kozlov cut them off and it’s time for O’Brian vs. Novak. Oh joy. What is this, their 5th match?
Jacob Novak vs. Conor O’Brian
Novak takes over early and gets a clothesline to put O’Brian down. We’re in the chinlock less than two minutes in. The lack of charisma here is so high it’s unreal. Novak puts him down with a big boot as the fans chant for Regal. O’Brian gets a rollup for a quick three abut the referee says shoulder was up, despite him slapping the mat three times. O’Brian grabs a rollup which Novak yells at Regal to end this at 3:03. Man I have to grade it.
Post match Novak shoves Regal who charges at him until JTG gets between them.
We recap (thankfully not re-air) the Morrison/Truth segment from last night which was a pretty good heel turn I thought. The recap is actually rather good, making the whole beating seem epic and making Truth look like he’s completely evil.
Saxton and Yoshi talk about Maryse in the back. Saxton says slow it down a bit. Yoshi says it’s cool. Maryse comes up and asks Yoshi to come shopping with her. Yoshi gets a kiss on the cheek and pays no attention to what Saxton suggests about their tag match later on.
Hornswoggle vs. Darren Young
Young is blindfolded and has an arm tied behind his back. Apparently Young shot his mouth off backstage and Chavo “just happens to have a rope right here.” What kind of freaky stuff is Chavo up to when he’s waiting on his matches? Also whose side is Chavo on here? He just happens to have a blindfold in his pocket too. I know you can make the argument that Chavo had time to get this stuff, but where do you find rope and a blindfold in a foreign city on such short notice? Odd indeed.
Regal randomly talks about how he used to manage the five Spice Girls but now at his age he can only manage two. It was as random as it sounds. This is exactly what you would expect it to be. Horny moves around and when the referee is distracted Young cheats by moving the blindfold with his right arm. Young gets shoved off the ropes and Horny hits the Tadpole Splash to end it at 1:28. This was one of those comedy matches where they left out the comedy.
Yoshi Tatsu/Byron Saxton vs. Lucky Cannon/Tyson Kidd
WOW I completely forgot Kidd was on this show. There’s a lot of time for this match too. Maryse is at ringside here. The rookies start us off but Cannon wants Yoshi. I know this because he shouts I WANT YOSHI. Off to Tatsu whose music sounds like constantly saying the word chimichanga. Listen to it over and over again and you’ll hear it too. This isn’t just me being random. Regal is talking about ground beef for some reason.
The pros are in there rather quickly and Kidd can’t get a backslide. Tatsu gets an appropriately Japanese armdrag and works the arm a bit as it’s off to Saxton. Bryon has the armbar on with his back to Yoshi yet Yoshi has his arm out for a tag anyway. Jumping back elbow gets two for Byron. Off to Yoshi again as Regal talks about how he would never be able to make it in this kind of environment. I’m not sure what you can really draw out of that but there’s something there.
Kidd gets kicked in the face and clotheslined to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cannon holding Saxton in a modified triangle choke. That lasts a few seconds as we have to see a replay of what happened during the break. Kidd jumped Cannon apparently to give his team the advantage. Off to Kidd again who gets the dreaded “aggression” tag put on him.
Sunset flip by Saxton gets two but he can’t keep the arms down. Regal actually has a name for getting the legs over the arms, which is apparently called the double legged nelson. That’s a new one on me. Saxton tries to fight back but gets kicked in the head by Cannon to take him back down. Cannon gets him down and hammers away while yelling at him. “It’s all” *WHACK* “about” *WHACK* “ME!” *WHACK* Not quite Magnum and Tully but it’s something I guess.
Saxton fights back and it’s a double tag to bring in the pros. Tatsu takes over and a big kick gets a long two. The crowd is starting to get into this now. That says something about the rookies I think. Shining Wizard gets two. Yoshi sets for something but Cannon hits on Maryse. Yoshi gets distracted and a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza from Kidd ends him at 11:26. And yes that’s the real name of the move.
Results
Jacob Novak won the Pull Through Challenge
Conor O’Brian b. Jacob Novak – Rollup
Hornswoggle b. Darren Young – Tadpole Splash
Tyson Kidd/Lucky Cannon b. Yoshi Tatsu/Byron Saxton – Fisherman’s Suplex into a spinning neckbreaker to Tatsu
Wednesday
Jackson Andrews, Tyson Kidd’s bodyguard for like two days, might have been released. Welcome to TNA I’d bet.
Apparently Jay Lethal is gone from TNA. Can’t say he’ll be missed since he’s barely around anymore.
Thursday
Impact
Date: April 21, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Two Horses for Sister Karen
We’re past Lockdown now which means we can move on from some of the stuff we had been building to. Sting is still world champion and AJ is back. Not a lot really changed at the PPV which is kind of odd but it is what it is. Anyway, tonight we begin the road to Sacrifice which doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as Road to Lockdown. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the Lockdown including all three major matches. Jarrett vs. Angle resulted in multiple injuries. Why do I have a feeling this feud is going to continue? Karen says it’s over. We also recap Lethal Lockdown with AJ’s return after…..17 days of being gone. Also Sting wants to fight Hogan.
Cue AJ to open the show, repelling down from the ceiling into a cage full of weapons. He talks about Bully Ray and his big return at Lockdown. The only reason AJ was there was to get his revenge but he’s not done. He wants Ray in the cage tonight. AJ rips off his shirt and is ready to fight. Here’s Ray for his reply.
Ray talks about putting AJ in a hospital for a month. Uh….not quite. Ray says that he’ll do it again and do it even worse this time. Then he’ll go AJ’s house and take care of his wife and kids. The wife part doesn’t sound that bad apparently. AJ is waiting in the ring instead of going after Ray for some reason, perhaps due to not wanting to be jumped by Immortal. Rey comes to the cage but stops early. Ray has nothing left to prove since he’s already taken AJ out once.
He turns to leave but Daniels jumps the Bully in the aisle. Daniels throws Ray into the cage and the beatdown is on. Ray is sent into the cage a few times and takes a Pele to put him down. Big trashcan shot to the head and Ray is down. Gunner comes out to try to make the save but is picked off by Daniels. They fight up the ramp and AJ puts Ray on the table. Is the rest of Immortal just busy or something? Ray has a BIG knot on his forehead. With Ray on the table, AJ goes to the top of the cage, only for Ray to get off the table and head out the door.
We recap Lethal Lockdown and are told that Flair had a torn rotator cuff due to the armbar by Roode. He’s been hurt for awhile so that’s the angle to get him off TV. That’s probably the best thing for him really.
Rob Terry and Murphy come out to the cage and run off the guys clearing out the weapons. They’re here to get payback on Beer Money for hurting Flair so they’re going to take the tag titles right now. Beer Money comes out and says cool. The match starts after the break.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Murphy/Rob Terry
The match has started during the break apparently as Roode is in trouble when we come back. Terry gets a World’s Strongest Slam for two. There are weapons hanging around the ring as well. Off to Murphy who works on the back a bit more. Terry sends him into the cage and a clothesline gets two. Roode finally gets in a shot and both guys are down.
Hot tag to Storm who hammers away on both guys. Codebreaker takes Murphy down as does a DDT and superkick to Terry. Everything breaks down and the AA Spinebuster to Terry puts him down. Double suplex to Murphy and it’s time for a double taunt. DWI ends Terry at 4:03 shown.
The Jarretts take a carriage ride and Jeff praises Karen a lot. It’s her night apparently. Since Jeff is King of the Mountain, she gets crowned Queen of the Mountain tonight. This is going to trump the royal wedding apparently. We look at the horses which I guess is what the episode title is referencing.
Hogan is on his way to the ring, pipe in hand.
Here’s Hogan after a break. He says he’s awesome and wants RVD here now. Hogan says everyone knows RVD is a few fries short of a Happy Meal. Not quite as 90s as bad mamma jamma but close. RVD asks if Hogan remembers the time before he was a heel. He turned his back on everyone for ratings though. Hogan says nothing has changed and RVD says now everyone wishes Hogan would just go away.
RVD says he accomplished everything he’s accomplished with respect. I’m not touching that one. A leg drop isn’t enough anymore because things have changed, but RVD won’t. Hogan says RVD has always been a big fish in a small pond. Uh….what? As long as Hogan is around, RVD will only be in the midcard apparently.
Cue Sting who says he invited himself. RVD is a main eventer apparently because he’ll be in the main event at Sacrifice thanks to the Network. Hogan: “Are you high too Stinger? Because if you are give me some!” Apparently the Network says that Sting gets to pick his opponents now. Hogan says he runs the show but Sting says the executives are coming soon. Hogan says RVD has a problem tonight against Abyss with Hogan in Abyss’ corner. Also Sting vs. Matt Hardy as a chance for revenge for Matt’s brother. No word on if the main event is a title match.
Kurt is looking for the Jarretts and someone saw them in the parking lot.
Madison and Tara argue in the back because it’s apparently Tara’s fault Madison lost the title. There’s a Knockouts Tag Title match tonight also.
Eric is feeding the horses which he names Mongo and Sid, apparently the best Horsemen of all time. I give up. Young is feeding them beans. Angle says go get some buckets. Kurt has evil ideas about buckets apparently.
Knockouts Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Madison Rayne/Tara
Matt vs. Sting is for the title apparently. Mexican America looks like they want to let the flag come down but it doesn’t show up. Anarquia runs down America a bit. Ah there’s the flag. The match starts after the break. Just like earlier we come back with the match in progress. Tara slaps Madison on the arm to tag her and they almost come to blows. Sarita dances and hits a dropkick.
Madison slams her into the mat and adds a big boot so she can yell at both chicks again. Now she yells at Tara. Some of you might be noticing a pattern here. The guys distract the referee so Rosita can throw Madison into a clothesline to end this at 1:54 shown. Yes, Madison kept the Knockout Title for 6 months and here she loses to a clothesline. Too short to grade.
Time for Karen to be crowned. Jeff talks about how awesome Karen is for awhile. They’re both in pure white too. She’s officially the Queen of the Mountain. And of course there’s manure in the crown. Kurt comes out and hits an Angle Slam on Jarrett to a chair. Angle says he has a mistress that will hurt Karen for him and she’ll be here soon.
Hogan gives Abyss a pep talk in the back. Hogan goes over to Anderson and asks if Anderson knows who the Network person is. Anderson makes fun of Hogan, saying that this has to be a rib. Hogan says Anderson is the only person that he hates in wrestling and he hates being in the same room with him. Then why does Hogan keep going to talk to him? Hogan says if this was about 10 years ago this would end differently for Anderson. Anderson says he’s bored so he has to go annoy someone else.
Back and we recap what we just saw. The manure came from the ceiling, not out of the crown. I thought there was a lot of it to fit in the crown.
Abyss vs. Rob Van Dam
They start the brawl almost immediately and Abyss goes down. Big boot puts RVD down and we hit the neck crank almost immediately. This is far more of a brawl than a match which is what it should be. RVD lands a kick which apparently knocked out two of Abyss’ teeth. RVD makes his comeback and Hogan distracts the referee. It’s a ruse though for him to slide the pipe in to Abyss who pops Van Dam in the ribs with it. Black Hole Slam ends this at 3:51.
Hogan and Abyss set to attack RVD but Crimson makes the save.
Sting says he can’t wait to wrestle because that’s what he does.
Matt has Jeff’s title belt and we reference him a bit. Matt is COLD BLOODED!
Here’s Matt Morgan to talk about wanting the world title. He’s tired of waiting and wants the title right now. Cue Scott Steiner of all people. He talks about Morgan being the DNA of TNA. If Steiner had Morgan’s DNA he’d kill himself then hang himself. The line for world title shots starts behind Steiner apparently. Steiner says Morgan is beneath him, just like Morgan’s girlfriend was last night.
Morgan says Steiner was an inspiration to him and talks about Steiner bringing athleticism back to this art form. Don’t misinterpret the respect for weakness though because there’s nothing weak on him. They make the obvious match. They shake hands and Steiner kicks him low. Steiner Recliner goes on and Morgan is left laying.
Tessmacher is back. Ok then.
Velvet and Winter have their usual moment of the week. Velvet is going to go to the authorities with this. Angelina destroys her.
TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Sting
Matt has Jeff’s world title, making it the third world title belt currently being worn by someone in TNA. Immortal is waiting on Sting in the aisle but Fourtune runs out for the save. Sting never got touched if that’s not clear. As Sting gets in the ring, Gunner gets a shot to the knee with a pipe. Matt takes over on a one legged Sting and a second rope leg drop gets two.
Moonsault misses though as Sting manages to roll out of the way. Scorpion is attempted but Matt kicks him off at the last second so he can go after the knee again. Chop block gets two. We take a break with Sting avoiding an elbow drop. Back with Matt working over Sting who is in the t-shirt again this week. The injured leg has changed to the right one now but I guess left and right is hard to keep track of. Back to the left one now. Sting makes a comeback but misses the Splash. Hot shot into snake eyes sets up the Scorpion Death Drop to keep Sting’s title at 9:30 total.
Anderson comes out and hits Mic Checks on both guys, saying to Sting that he’s not going away yet.
Karen FREAKS over the Angle thing and yells at Jeff even though he can barely move. Jeff wants to know how many times he has to beat Angle. Karen is REALLY annoying here, which she’s supposed to be.
Hogan says Anderson is done. He says the Network is coming at him like a double fisted kangaroo. Has he been chilling with JR or something?
Results
Beer Money b. Rob Terry/Murphy – DWI to Terry
Rosita/Sarita b. Madison Rayne/Tara – Clothesline to Rayne
Abyss b. Rob Van Dam – Black Hole Slam
Sting b. Matt Hardy – Scorpion Death Drop
Friday
Impact got a 1.17 with almost 200,000 more viewers than last week.
Dixie Carter has stepped down as TNA president and Bischoff might replace here. Oh dear.
Smackdown
Date: April 22, 2011
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T
Tonight Alberto Del Rio is going to have a going away party for Edge who apparently will be in attendance tonight. Things are all leading to the Draft on Monday where things are going to get turned upside down as they typically do. This should be fun as Smackdown was pretty good last week. They’ve changed their style to more of a squash heavy show which works in a different way than the style they had used before. Let’s get to it.
We open with the 3 Doors Down video from Raw which works for me as they’re my favorite band. This is a clipped down version, as in like 45 seconds long.
We also get a recap of the ending of the battle royal last week with Christian winning the spot in the match against Del Rio.
Do you know your enemy? Mine at the moment is people that can’t understand what “no lettuce” means.
The world title belt is hanging above the ring.
Big Show and Kane vs. Corre for the tag titles later as well as Kofi vs. Barrett for the IC Title. Didn’t he get a rematch already?
Cole gets a big introduction as Sir Michael Cole. Wouldn’t he be subservient to King Booker?
Cody Rhodes comes out with a paper bag. There are also people in suits with a shopping cart. Cody says his mask is for protection but Rey’s is for hiding his fears and hatred for the fans. He talks about how the fans are all wearing masks as we’re getting philosophical here. He has a remedy though at his own expense. In the shopping cart are paper bags with faces cut out of them. Not quite the cars that Oprah gives away but a nice gift I guess. Cody has a bag saved for Rey.
Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio
Rey gets a kick in early and we head to the floor. Rey gets a seated senton off the apron as we take a break. Back with Cody knocking Rey off the top and taking over. Cody tries a powerbomb which is reversed for two. Big old clothesline gets two for Rhodes as Cody is being all psycho. Dropkick looks to set up the 619 but Cody reverses with a backdrop to the apron. They fight on said apron with Cody sending Rey into the post as we take ANOTHER break. We’ve had two breaks with three minutes of actual wrestling to watch.
Back with Cody hammering away as Booker and Cole get into it again. Rey does the Bret Hart chest into the buckle bump so Cody can ram the mask into the head of Rey. Booker thinks Cody has amnesia. What in the world is Booker on anyway? Rey fights Cody off of the top and gets some high flying stuff including a cross body for two. The swinging kick to a seated Cody misses as he rolls Rey up for two.
Top rope….something….jumps into a dropkick by Cody for two. It might have been a cross body but it wasn’t actually cross. Cody sets for Cross Rhodes but Rey fights out of it. Another powerbomb is attempted but Rey counters again, this time into a rana for the pin at 7:10 shown of 14:10.
Cody keeps beating on Rey post match and they go into the crowd for a bit. They get bored out there I guess as they head back to ringside. Cody sends Rey into the steps and they fight on the barricade. Rey sends him into the crowd again and takes over. Rey LAUNCHES Cody over the railing to send him back towards the ring. Cody looked like a mannequin flying through the air. Cody takes over again and hits Cross Rhodes on the floor. He puts a paper bag over Rey’s head and leaves him laying.
Gabriel and Barrett are in the back and Gabriel says it wasn’t personal when he eliminated him. Barrett says it was personal and Slater says they both would have sold their mother down the river to get ahead. Jackson comes up and says calm down because he’s the leader. Barrett glares at him so Jackson says he’s just kidding. Barrett and the tag champions still aren’t happy.
We recap Laycool’s therapy from last week. They had more therapy earlier today and McCool says Layla wouldn’t be here without her. They argue even more and yell at the therapist. McCool says maybe they should split because Layla might not be flawless. Michelle apologizes and they hug to a nice pop. And never mind as McCool grabs her by the hair and throws her onto the couch. I’ll let that image sink in for a few moments before I point out it was to hurt Layla. She cries as McCool leaves.
Cole is in the ring and we see a clip of the knighting and feet kissing thing from Raw. He brings out Swagger for the following squash.
Jack Swagger vs. Trent Barreta
Total squash as Swagger beats him up with ease, hitting the Vader Bomb. An enziguri hits and Trent tries a springboard, only to get caught in a powerbomb. Angle lock ends clean at 1:13.
Big Show was at the Kids Choice Awards.
Tag Titles: Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel vs. Big Show/Kane
Slater vs. Kane to start as we’re talking about John Kennedy for some reason. Cole says Booker is jealous because he’s not a King anymore. Maybe he’s an 8 or 9 but not a King. Show comes in for some pounding and it’s back off to Kane. Slater gets a shot to the knee and immediately tags out. Gabriel comes in and before he takes two steps takes a right hand from Kane to take him down. That looked great!
Kane goes up but Jackson shoves him off to set up the Ricky Morton stint. Slater grabs a chinlock and tags out again to Justin. Gabriel at least makes it more than a few seconds before getting drilled this time that’s an upgrade for him. Kane pops him with another hard sounding shot and tries the side slam. Gabriel reverses into a spinning DDT for two. Slater comes off the top and Kane pops him as well. He’s been sharp with those punches in this.
Hot tag to Show who cleans house. Slater gets sent to the floor onto Jackson and Kane hits that uppercut on Jackson as well. He must have been following his brother with only big right hands or uppercuts. Anyway Slater runs into Big Show and we remember who is who here, meaning the chokeslam gives us new champion at 4:04. Kane and Big Show were never once in anything resembling jeopardy here.
The Corre argues in the back with Jackson blaming Slater for getting pinned and Slater shoving Gabriel and walking away.
Drew McIntyre vs. Chris Masters
When is the last time Masters won a match that wasn’t on Superstars? Masters shoves him into the corner to start and sends Drew to the apron. Masterlock out there doesn’t work so Chris blasts him to the apron. Back in and Drew wakes up a bit as he hammers away for two. Futureshock is reversed into a small package for two. Sky High gets two for Masters as he makes a nice comeback. Middle rope shoulder gets two and he goes for the Masterlock again. Drew walks up the corner and slams back onto Masters to reverse. Futureshock ends this at 3:35. Nice pop for McIntyre.
Raw ReBound is the R-Truth heel turn from Raw. The video they have is the one from NXT which is much better than the actual turn itself. Eats up about 4:30.
We recap the Rhodes/Mysterio match and post match stuff from earlier. The match at the PPV will be falls count anywhere. That fits with the crowd thing earlier I guess.
Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett
Jackson is with Barrett. Kofi hammers away to start as Booker says Kofi worries about the fans too much. Barrett gets a boot in to take over. Kofi sends him to the floor and hits a BIG cross body to the floor as we take a break. Back with Barrett holding a bow and arrow hold on Kingston. During the break Barrett sent Kofi into the steps to take over.
Back to the floor again as Barrett might have a bad wrist or hand. Jackson accidently takes Barrett out and we head back in. Barrett yells at Jackson and sends him to the back. Small package gets two for Kofi and it’s comeback (was he ever in trouble) time. Boom Drop hits and Kofi sets for Trouble in Paradise. Wade catches him in a fireman’s carry and puts Kofi on top. Kofi tries a victory roll/rollup off the ropes but Barrett kneels down and grabs the ropes for the pin at 4:24 shown of 7:54. Well that was short.
Time for Alberto’s party for Edge. Clay and Rodriguez are there with him of course. There are presents apparently and they’re under sheets. Alberto pulls the first sheet off and it’s a grandfather clock. Gift number two: adult diapers. Make you own jokes there. The third gift is her.
Cue LITA of all people….and it’s a fat chick. Yeah I think we all saw that coming. Del Rio says she never looked better. Edge can go on a romantic stroll with her because he has this: a walker. Time for the final gift which is a motorized scooter driven by Ricardo. He does the Edge pose for the pyro to go off. Oh and it comes complete with a handicap parking pass.
Cue Edge, looking a bit more like himself in jeans and a t-shirt with sunglasses. Edge RSVPed on Facebook (that was on the graphic every time they showed it tonight) and this party sucks. After some bad insults, Del Rio sends Brodus after Edge. Christian pops up from nowhere with a ladder to drill Brodus and Del Rio as Alberto charges. Christian sets the ladder up in the middle of the ring and pulls down the title to end the show.
Results
Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Hurricanrana
Jack Swagger b. Trent Barreta – Ankle Lock
Big Show/Kane b. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel – Chokeslam to Slater
Drew McIntyre b. Chris Masters – Futureshock
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup
Saturday
There’s a rumor going around that Desmond Wolfe is done due to Hepatitis C. Not confirmed yet though.
Sunday
Nothing of note today.
Quick Results
Raw
John Morrison b. R-Truth – Starship Pain
Dolph Ziggler b. Evan Bourne – Zig Zag
Sin Cara/John Cena b. The Miz/Alex Riley – Springboard moonsault to Riley
Eve Torres b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
Randy Orton b. CM Punk – Rollup
NXT
Jacob Novak won the Pull Through Challenge
Conor O’Brian b. Jacob Novak – Rollup
Hornswoggle b. Darren Young – Tadpole Splash
Tyson Kidd/Lucky Cannon b. Yoshi Tatsu/Byron Saxton – Fisherman’s Suplex into a spinning neckbreaker to Tatsu
Impact
Beer Money b. Rob Terry/Murphy – DWI to Terry
Rosita/Sarita b. Madison Rayne/Tara – Clothesline to Rayne
Abyss b. Rob Van Dam – Black Hole Slam
Sting b. Matt Hardy – Scorpion Death Drop
Smackdown
Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Hurricanrana
Jack Swagger b. Trent Barreta – Ankle Lock
Big Show/Kane b. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel – Chokeslam to Slater
Drew McIntyre b. Chris Masters – Futureshock
Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup