klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: March 9, 2015
Location: CONSOL Energy Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T.
Wrestlemania is closing in on us and the card is pretty clear. That leaves just a few weeks to strengthen up the stories and make the fans want to buy the show. Right now, Reigns is still getting warm but this is the same arena the 2014 Royal Rumble was held in, meaning he might not be in for an easy night. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week's main event with Rollins pinning Reigns, only to have Roman clean house afterwards. I still see no reason for Seth to get that pinfall.
Here's Randy Orton to open things up with the Authority, minus the leaders, in the ring. Kane says the Authority wants to do this in public so there are no more questions. Without further ado, Kane officially welcomes Orton back to the Authority. Big Show is nearly booed out of the arena before he can say that Orton would RKO his own father to get where he wanted to go, so welcome back. Noble can't do this and calls Orton a no good snake.
Rollins asks for some slack for the Stooges before addressing rumors that Orton isn't part of the Authority. He's just biding his time before he can get his hands on Rollins. That must make these people feel like idiots because he and Orton are standing side by side. Even Rollins had his own doubt and he's sure the rest of the team did as well. The security did, Kane did....and no one really cares what Big Show thinks. Dang he's nailing this voice of the fans schtick lately.
Rollins shakes Orton's hand but Orton wants to know what's happened to this team. They used to be ruthless but now they're all sucking up to him. Kane is now a stupid gopher and Big Show used all his power to whine and complain. Does Noble hate him because he can't get on all the rides at Disneyland? Ok points for a funny line. That leaves just Rollins, who is so blind that he can't see what's going on.
Orton has just been biding his time until Rollins feels safe and sound until he strikes. There is no future for Seth Rollins....but never mind because he's just kidding. Rollins laughs and thinks Orton should take over for Stewart. The team poses and that's finally it. This was about as big of a waste of time as I've seen this side of a HHH and Stephanie promo.
Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett
Non-title and R-Truth is on commentary with a burlap bag next to him. Cole: DY-NO-MITE! Truth: I haven't heard that since reruns of Mash! Barrett quickly takes him down for two before cranking on the arm. A butterfly suplex gets two as JBL asks R-Truth about Dikembe Mutumbo (a 7' NBA player). Barrett gets Bryan into the ropes and kicks him in the face as we take a break. Back with Barrett getting two off a superplex as the announcers continue their completely unrelated jabbering. A crucifix gets two for Bryan but he ducks a clothesline and hits the running knee for the pin at 7:10.
Barrett knocks out Bryan post match but Ambrose runs out to deck Barrett.
Dean Ambrose vs. Stardust
Stardust has the title itself and Truth is still on commentary. Ambrose takes him down to start with some running elbows. JBL and Truth argue over Truth stealing the Intercontinental Title a few times as Dean hits the running dropkick against the ropes. Stardust is sent to the floor for the suicide dive but he hooks a dragon screw leg whip as Dean gets back inside and we take a break. Back with Dean firing off right hands and some running forearms, followed by a bulldog. The rebound clothesline sets up Dirty Deeds to give Ambrose the pin at 7:27.
Post match Dean grabs the belt but Ambrose, Bryan, Harper and Ziggler run in for a brawl. Truth slips the belt in his bag and sits back down on commentary. Everyone hits their finisher with Barrett coming out on top but he can't find his title. Truth gives him a bag and Barrett runs into the crowd, only to find a toy Intercontinental Title. Well of course he did.
Cole starts to talk about the Hall of Fame but Booker has to explain the idea of what Truth just did. Tonight's inductee is for Connor the Crusher, who will be receiving the first ever Warrior Award.
Here's Paul Heyman to introduce a Roman Reigns video about his rise from NXT to the main event of Wrestlemania. He ends it by saying he can beat Lesnar, so Heyman responds by bringing out Lesnar himself. Heyman mocks Reigns' fans for listing off all of his accomplishments, capping it off with a high pitched YAY. He's known Reigns' family since he was 14 years old and the truth about Reigns is his family would send Reigns to the bars and beaches to beat up football players and beach bums for target practice.
Now they're doing the same thing with Lesnar but it doesn't work that way. The Authority is hoping Reigns can win the title so Rollins can cash in on him, because Rollins isn't cashing in on Lesnar. If anyone is thinking about pulling a Montreal Screwjob on Lesnar, they're not leaving that stadium alive. Reigns is going to fight for everything he has but come up short. When Reigns is taking that kind of a beating....and there goes Heyman's mic again.
It comes back on and says people keep cutting him off instead of coming to the ring and taking it out of his hands. Or better yet, have them come out here and take the title from Lesnar's hands, because he might want to unify the title with the UFC World Title this summer. Maybe he'll go to Las Vegas and knock out Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather.
The title belongs to Lesnar instead of WWE and he isn't giving it back. Twelve years ago, WWE put Lesnar in the ring against the Rock and he beat the star of the company. Then he beat the Undertaker to break the Streak. Then he beat John Cena to a pulp. Now he's going to beat Roman Reigns and keep that title.
Just like last week and the previous week and the previous week: I still have no reason to care about this match. Why do I want to see Lesnar lose the belt? Because he beat up Undertaker? So? It was a fair match. Why do I want to see Reigns win the title? Because he's Rock's cousin? So? So is Jimmy Uso. There's no connection to the fans here and no reason to want to see this match.
Bray Wyatt says Wrestlemania is almost here and he wants the reaper to find him.
Kane/Big Show vs. Erick Rowan/Ryback
Because there was NO ONE else in the battle royal for either of these teams to fight. Ryback runs Kane over to start and drives shoulders in the corner. Kane kicks him in the face to block the Meat Hook and it's off to Show for a spear. Ryback gets tossed around even more before it's off to Kane, who gets supelxed to give Ryback a breather. The lukewarm tag brings in Rowan to clean house but he goes after Big Show, allowing Kane to uppercut him. Big Show punches Kane by mistake though, allowing Rowan to get the pin at 3:31.
Big Show and Kane start arguing but SERIOUS STEPHANIE comes out to yell at them. She tells Big Show to shut up and start hurting people again. Kane needs to stop getting coffee and bring the monster back. Now get out of her ring and out of the arena because they're not thinking about what's best for business.
We look back at Miz's commercial last week.
Miz pitches a partnership with Wiz Khalifa but Wiz has already signed up Mizdow. Damien comes in for a rap about beating Miz in the battle royal. Khalifa looks homeless and I have no idea why he's on this show other than he's from Pittsburgh.
Sheamus return video.
Wiz Khalifa performs and the fans don't seem that interested. I have it muted for most of the performance as I again ask: what does this have to do with making me want to watch Wrestlemania? Mizdow came out to celebrate with him.
We recap AJ returning to save Paige from the Bellas.
The Bellas watch a clip of themselves in the Flintstones movie (they're in it for about four minutes) and make Flintstones puns about beating up AJ and Paige at Wrestlemania.
Summer Rae vs. AJ Lee
Summer has Cameron and AJ in her corner after the three of them argued over being the Diva to get a chance. AJ gets a quick rollup for two and kicks Summer in the ribs. A sitout wheelbarrow slam gets two for Summer and she chokes in the corner, only to have AJ elbow her in the jaw. They trade kicks to the face with Summer getting two. Back up and the Black Widow makes Summer tap at 3:05.
We get a video on Sting vs. HHH narrated by someone who is supposed to be Sting but doesn't sound much like him. He talks about WCW going under and how HHH is going to be punished for only having loyalty to himself. Sting has been waiting fourteen years to beat down HHH, so it's game over at Wrestlemania.
Rusev and Lana are coming to the ring for the match but run into Cena. Rusev says no again but Cena cuts him off and says performing at Wrestlemania is a privilege. If he hasn't earned that privilege this year then so be it, but Rusev needs to understand that he hasn't earned the right to come to this country and disrespect it.
Coming here to become a Russian hero doesn't give him the right to act without repercussions. He has the right to free speech but Cena has the right to shut him up. If Rusev insults America one more time, Cena will be there to prove how much fight America has. A USA chant strikes up as the Russians leave.
Rusev vs. Curtis Axel
Rusev jumps him before the match. Superkick, Accolade, 26 seconds. Axel didn't even get to talk here and this felt like WWE saying STOP CHEERING HIM WHEN WE DIDN'T TELL YOU TO!
Post match Rusev calls America spineless and soulless, so here's Cena to no music. He takes the hat and shirt off and charges to the ring. Rusev is quickly caught in the STF and passes out as Cena cranks on it hard. Cena pours some water on Rusev to wake him up but puts it back on Rusev, who immediately taps out.
Lana gets the mic and begs Cena to let him go, eventually giving him the US Title shot at Wrestlemania. The fans chant for Cena. No threat of retirement, no talk of Cena being frail, no Stephanie rambling about whatever nonsense she has on her mind this week. Just simple, good old fashioned AMERICA vs. Russia. It's worked forever and it still works today. Stop overthinking these things.
Bray says he can't wait much longer so tonight he raises the dead. Find him.
Rusev yells at Lana in Russian and she walks away, presumably to a movie set for a film that 18 people will see but will still be critically acclaimed, at least according to Michael Cole.
New Day vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro
Non-title but New Days says they want the belts. Just pencil in the non-title loss now. Kofi is on the floor this week. Kidd and Woods get things going with Tyson being dragged over to the corner for some backbreakers from Big E. Back to Woods who kicks Kidd in the head for two but Cesaro sneaks in to take out Woods' knee. The champs start focusing on the knee but Big E. tries to come in for a save. Woods grabs a quick rollup into a faceplant for the fast pin on Kidd at 3:50.
Natalya vs. Naomi
Joined in progress after the break with a pinfall reversal sequence leading to some quick near falls. The Sharpshooter goes on but Naomi makes the ropes. The guys get in a fight on the floor and Naomi hits the Rear View for the pin at 2:41.
Natalya takes Kidd's title post match.
Los Matadores vs. Usos
There's no transition between any of these three matches as everyone keeps coming out during the exits for the previous match. Fernando headscissors Jimmy down and we take an early break. Cole calls Los Matadores underrated. If they're underrated, I can't imagine who is actually low rated.
Back with Jey dancing and bringing in Jimmy for a double elbow. The fans chant for Punk as Fernando cranks on Jimmy's arm but thankfully it dies down just as fast. Everything breaks down and Diego dives into a superkick for two but Fernando sends Jey to the floor. Jey nails his big dive and Fernando charges into a Samoan drop. Torito offers a distraction but Fernando shoves Jimmy into the bull for the upset rollup at 8:05.
We recap the opening segment.
Rollins tells the Stooges to calm down and says he's the mastermind of everything.
Here's Bray Wyatt with something to say. He says he never sleeps but he's always dreaming. He sees cities burning and governments crumbling because there is such beauty in chaos. In his dreams, the buzzards guide him to the shell of a man. Below the buzzards lay the Undertaker's broken body. Pride is Bray's favorite sin and it was pride that has led him to Undertaker. He doesn't want to bow down to Undertaker or even stand by his side.
All he wants to do is walk over Undertaker on his way to the throne because he is the new face of fear. Everyone knew the Streak was going to end at some point and now Wrestlemania will be Undertaker's final resting place. So will Undertaker accept his challenge? The urn is behind Wyatt and he suggests that it's the way to bring him back. Bray opens the urn and nothing comes out of it.
He sets it back on the table and smoke stars to come out of it. Lightning appears on the screen and Bray shouts GIVE IT TO ME. The gong strikes and the fans are just as into it as they were last year. The lights go out and it sounds again before a spotlight shows the table and urn gone and Bray's old rocking chair in the ring. Undertaker's voice comes on and says you will rest in peace as the Wrestlemania logo and the man comes around (at least I think that's what it said as they only showed it on a wide shot) appears on screen. Lightning hits the chair and lights it on fire, sending Bray to his knees in laughter.
Wyatt vs. Undertaker is official for Wrestlemania.
We look at Cena choking out Rusev again. Cena will have an exclusive interview just after Raw. I believe they said a Jericho DVD preview would have that spot.
Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton/Seth Rollins
JBL on Reigns' entrance: let's get to it. That got way too big of a smile from me. The bell rings at 11:03 and Reigns goes right at Rollins, only to be sent into the middle buckle. Reigns is sent to the floor to give Seth control as Orton just stands on the apron looking bored. The Stooges get in an argument with Orton over not double teaming so Randy punches Noble in the face.
Rollins sends the two of them out, leaving he and Randy alone for the Authority. Reigns ducks a charge and sends Seth into the buckle to put both guys down. Seth crawls over but Orton moves away from the tag. A double middle finger (which the camera makes sure to pan down from) sends Rollins the message and the spear is good enough to pin Seth at 4:10.
Post match Reigns leaves and Orton yells at Seth before throwing him to the floor. He sends Rollins into the steps and says he would never rejoin the Authority. An uppercut knocks Rollins over the barricade and the beating continues in the crowd. Orton hits him in the back with a chair as Seth hasn't done a thing yet. They head back to ringside with Rollins being thrown over the announcers' table.
Orton RKOs Rollins through the table to end the show. Wouldn't it have been far better to have Orton just show up and set up the match as a psycho? Oh right we had to see Stephanie calm things down and yell at people instead. What was I thinking? On top of that, sweet goodness it's convenient that Orton got rid of everyone so easily in one night. Also, I'm so glad Reigns was used as little more than a warm body here. Seriously that could have been anyone and it would have had the same result.
Results
Daniel Bryan b. Bad News Barrett Running knee
Dean Ambrose b. Stardust Dirty Deeds
Erick Rowan/Ryback b. Big Show/Kane Rowan pinned Kane after a KO Punch from Big Show
AJ Lee b. Summer Rae Black Widow
Rusev b. Curtis Axel Accolade
New Day b. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro Rollup into a faceplant to Kidd
Naomi b. Natalya Rear View
Los Matadores b. Usos Rollup to Jimmy
Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins/Randy Orton Spear
Tuesday
Nothing.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: March 11, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Jason Albert
Things are starting to pick up again in NXT as commentator Alex Riley is coming after NXT Champion Kevin Owens for bullying him on commentary recently. First up for Riley is CJ Parker, as Alex has to earn a shot at the champ. Other than that we're waiting on the return of Sami Zayn and the Finn Balor showdown with Owens for the title. In other words, no one likes Owens except the audience. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady vs. Lucha Dragons
No Carmella this week. Enzo thinks the Dragons are more like the Geico Lizards. Cass: Either save us 15% or more or get out of our way! When I grow up, I want to be Enzo's beard. Enzo and Kalisto get things going as the fans duel between GEICO LIZARDS! and FIFTEEN PERCENT! Kalisto grabs an armbar to take Enzo down and it's quickly off to Cara, who slams his partner into a senton on Amore for two. The tag brings in Big Cass who shows Cara how to throw your partner around.
Enzo comes back in but gets kicked away, allowing the hot tag to Kalisto as things speed up. The Dragons take over again as this is going longer than your average opening match on this show. Everything breaks down with Enzo and Cass going outside. Cass shoves his buddy away to take the double dive but is still able to break up the swanton from Cara. He does the smart thing by dragging Enzo over for the tag and the East River Crossing plants Kalisto, setting up a Rocket Launcher from Amore for the pin at 5:40.
Next week we see matches from NXT at the Arnold Sports Festival in Columbus, Ohio.
Video on Alex Riley.
Video on Kevin Owens' dominance.
Alexa Bliss vs. Carmella
Carmella throws her away from a headlock to start but Bliss grabs the arm to take over. Alexa misses a charge into the corner so Carmella just hammers her in the face. The fans aren't exactly interested in having Carmella out there. We hit the body scissors on Bliss before Carmella drives her back into the corner. This really isn't much to see so far. Bliss comes back with some forearms and a flip splash for two, followed by a spinning splash from the top (the Sparkle Splash) for the pin at 5:03.
Alex Riley gives a very serious speech about being stuck in a cage for two years and constantly being told maybe next week kid. Owens talks about having a wife and kids but Riley's family is in that arena. It's time to fight for his family. Really good stuff from Riley here and I've always been a fan of his. I always thought it was a waste of his talents to put him behind a mic for so long but at least he's getting back in the ring now.
Breeze says this didn't have to get ugly with Itami. Well you were involved so maybe it did have to get ugly.
CJ Parker vs. Alex Riley
Riley's entrance cuts off Parker complaining about the world. Riley is still in shape but his face makes him look a bit homeless. Parker's headlock doesn't get him very far as Riley comes back with a nice dropkick. The TKO is countered though and Parker lays in some left hands. The Third Eye is countered with a backdrop and Riley nails a hard clothesline. Something like John Morrison's flip neckbreaker puts Parker down again and a Blockbuster is good for the pin at 3:20.
Post match Kevin Owens comes out and calls Alex Riley the dumbest man in NXT. Riley gave up his commentary career just so Riley can destroy his in ring career too. Owens hasn't forgotten about Finn Balor either.
Tyler Breeze vs. Hideo Itami
Rematch from Rival. Breeze heads to the floor to start and says this won't be like last time. He does it a second time and the fans keep booing. Old style heat still works. Back in and Breeze drives Itami into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs but Itami kicks him right to the floor. Itami throws him back inside for a running knee in the corner and the tornado DDT into a guillotine. He goes back up but gets crotched this time, giving Tyler his first real advantage.
The fans think Itami is gorgeous as Breeze drops a leg and puts on a chinlock. Back from a break with Itami punching Breeze away and hitting a top rope dropkick to put both guys down. A leg trip sends Breeze to the floor and a big kick gets two. Itami kicks him in the face but walks into the Supermodel Kick for two.
Breeze gets pulled face first into the post while trying to crotch Itami, setting up a top rope knee to the back of the head. Breeze gets up again though and Itami is getting mad. The fans call for the GTS but have to settle for a hard series of strikes instead. Itami misses a running dropkick in the corner though and the Beauty Shot is good for the pin on Hideo at 11:25.
Results
Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady b. Lucha Dragons Rocket Launcher to Kalisto
Alexa Bliss b. Carmella Sparkle Splash
Alex Riley b. CJ Parker Blockbuster
Tyler Breeze b. Hideo Itami Beauty Shot
Monday Night Raw
Date: March 9, 2015
Location: CONSOL Energy Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T.
Wrestlemania is closing in on us and the card is pretty clear. That leaves just a few weeks to strengthen up the stories and make the fans want to buy the show. Right now, Reigns is still getting warm but this is the same arena the 2014 Royal Rumble was held in, meaning he might not be in for an easy night. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of last week's main event with Rollins pinning Reigns, only to have Roman clean house afterwards. I still see no reason for Seth to get that pinfall.
Here's Randy Orton to open things up with the Authority, minus the leaders, in the ring. Kane says the Authority wants to do this in public so there are no more questions. Without further ado, Kane officially welcomes Orton back to the Authority. Big Show is nearly booed out of the arena before he can say that Orton would RKO his own father to get where he wanted to go, so welcome back. Noble can't do this and calls Orton a no good snake.
Rollins asks for some slack for the Stooges before addressing rumors that Orton isn't part of the Authority. He's just biding his time before he can get his hands on Rollins. That must make these people feel like idiots because he and Orton are standing side by side. Even Rollins had his own doubt and he's sure the rest of the team did as well. The security did, Kane did....and no one really cares what Big Show thinks. Dang he's nailing this voice of the fans schtick lately.
Rollins shakes Orton's hand but Orton wants to know what's happened to this team. They used to be ruthless but now they're all sucking up to him. Kane is now a stupid gopher and Big Show used all his power to whine and complain. Does Noble hate him because he can't get on all the rides at Disneyland? Ok points for a funny line. That leaves just Rollins, who is so blind that he can't see what's going on.
Orton has just been biding his time until Rollins feels safe and sound until he strikes. There is no future for Seth Rollins....but never mind because he's just kidding. Rollins laughs and thinks Orton should take over for Stewart. The team poses and that's finally it. This was about as big of a waste of time as I've seen this side of a HHH and Stephanie promo.
Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett
Non-title and R-Truth is on commentary with a burlap bag next to him. Cole: DY-NO-MITE! Truth: I haven't heard that since reruns of Mash! Barrett quickly takes him down for two before cranking on the arm. A butterfly suplex gets two as JBL asks R-Truth about Dikembe Mutumbo (a 7' NBA player). Barrett gets Bryan into the ropes and kicks him in the face as we take a break. Back with Barrett getting two off a superplex as the announcers continue their completely unrelated jabbering. A crucifix gets two for Bryan but he ducks a clothesline and hits the running knee for the pin at 7:10.
Barrett knocks out Bryan post match but Ambrose runs out to deck Barrett.
Dean Ambrose vs. Stardust
Stardust has the title itself and Truth is still on commentary. Ambrose takes him down to start with some running elbows. JBL and Truth argue over Truth stealing the Intercontinental Title a few times as Dean hits the running dropkick against the ropes. Stardust is sent to the floor for the suicide dive but he hooks a dragon screw leg whip as Dean gets back inside and we take a break. Back with Dean firing off right hands and some running forearms, followed by a bulldog. The rebound clothesline sets up Dirty Deeds to give Ambrose the pin at 7:27.
Post match Dean grabs the belt but Ambrose, Bryan, Harper and Ziggler run in for a brawl. Truth slips the belt in his bag and sits back down on commentary. Everyone hits their finisher with Barrett coming out on top but he can't find his title. Truth gives him a bag and Barrett runs into the crowd, only to find a toy Intercontinental Title. Well of course he did.
Cole starts to talk about the Hall of Fame but Booker has to explain the idea of what Truth just did. Tonight's inductee is for Connor the Crusher, who will be receiving the first ever Warrior Award.
Here's Paul Heyman to introduce a Roman Reigns video about his rise from NXT to the main event of Wrestlemania. He ends it by saying he can beat Lesnar, so Heyman responds by bringing out Lesnar himself. Heyman mocks Reigns' fans for listing off all of his accomplishments, capping it off with a high pitched YAY. He's known Reigns' family since he was 14 years old and the truth about Reigns is his family would send Reigns to the bars and beaches to beat up football players and beach bums for target practice.
Now they're doing the same thing with Lesnar but it doesn't work that way. The Authority is hoping Reigns can win the title so Rollins can cash in on him, because Rollins isn't cashing in on Lesnar. If anyone is thinking about pulling a Montreal Screwjob on Lesnar, they're not leaving that stadium alive. Reigns is going to fight for everything he has but come up short. When Reigns is taking that kind of a beating....and there goes Heyman's mic again.
It comes back on and says people keep cutting him off instead of coming to the ring and taking it out of his hands. Or better yet, have them come out here and take the title from Lesnar's hands, because he might want to unify the title with the UFC World Title this summer. Maybe he'll go to Las Vegas and knock out Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather.
The title belongs to Lesnar instead of WWE and he isn't giving it back. Twelve years ago, WWE put Lesnar in the ring against the Rock and he beat the star of the company. Then he beat the Undertaker to break the Streak. Then he beat John Cena to a pulp. Now he's going to beat Roman Reigns and keep that title.
Just like last week and the previous week and the previous week: I still have no reason to care about this match. Why do I want to see Lesnar lose the belt? Because he beat up Undertaker? So? It was a fair match. Why do I want to see Reigns win the title? Because he's Rock's cousin? So? So is Jimmy Uso. There's no connection to the fans here and no reason to want to see this match.
Bray Wyatt says Wrestlemania is almost here and he wants the reaper to find him.
Kane/Big Show vs. Erick Rowan/Ryback
Because there was NO ONE else in the battle royal for either of these teams to fight. Ryback runs Kane over to start and drives shoulders in the corner. Kane kicks him in the face to block the Meat Hook and it's off to Show for a spear. Ryback gets tossed around even more before it's off to Kane, who gets supelxed to give Ryback a breather. The lukewarm tag brings in Rowan to clean house but he goes after Big Show, allowing Kane to uppercut him. Big Show punches Kane by mistake though, allowing Rowan to get the pin at 3:31.
Big Show and Kane start arguing but SERIOUS STEPHANIE comes out to yell at them. She tells Big Show to shut up and start hurting people again. Kane needs to stop getting coffee and bring the monster back. Now get out of her ring and out of the arena because they're not thinking about what's best for business.
We look back at Miz's commercial last week.
Miz pitches a partnership with Wiz Khalifa but Wiz has already signed up Mizdow. Damien comes in for a rap about beating Miz in the battle royal. Khalifa looks homeless and I have no idea why he's on this show other than he's from Pittsburgh.
Sheamus return video.
Wiz Khalifa performs and the fans don't seem that interested. I have it muted for most of the performance as I again ask: what does this have to do with making me want to watch Wrestlemania? Mizdow came out to celebrate with him.
We recap AJ returning to save Paige from the Bellas.
The Bellas watch a clip of themselves in the Flintstones movie (they're in it for about four minutes) and make Flintstones puns about beating up AJ and Paige at Wrestlemania.
Summer Rae vs. AJ Lee
Summer has Cameron and AJ in her corner after the three of them argued over being the Diva to get a chance. AJ gets a quick rollup for two and kicks Summer in the ribs. A sitout wheelbarrow slam gets two for Summer and she chokes in the corner, only to have AJ elbow her in the jaw. They trade kicks to the face with Summer getting two. Back up and the Black Widow makes Summer tap at 3:05.
We get a video on Sting vs. HHH narrated by someone who is supposed to be Sting but doesn't sound much like him. He talks about WCW going under and how HHH is going to be punished for only having loyalty to himself. Sting has been waiting fourteen years to beat down HHH, so it's game over at Wrestlemania.
Rusev and Lana are coming to the ring for the match but run into Cena. Rusev says no again but Cena cuts him off and says performing at Wrestlemania is a privilege. If he hasn't earned that privilege this year then so be it, but Rusev needs to understand that he hasn't earned the right to come to this country and disrespect it.
Coming here to become a Russian hero doesn't give him the right to act without repercussions. He has the right to free speech but Cena has the right to shut him up. If Rusev insults America one more time, Cena will be there to prove how much fight America has. A USA chant strikes up as the Russians leave.
Rusev vs. Curtis Axel
Rusev jumps him before the match. Superkick, Accolade, 26 seconds. Axel didn't even get to talk here and this felt like WWE saying STOP CHEERING HIM WHEN WE DIDN'T TELL YOU TO!
Post match Rusev calls America spineless and soulless, so here's Cena to no music. He takes the hat and shirt off and charges to the ring. Rusev is quickly caught in the STF and passes out as Cena cranks on it hard. Cena pours some water on Rusev to wake him up but puts it back on Rusev, who immediately taps out.
Lana gets the mic and begs Cena to let him go, eventually giving him the US Title shot at Wrestlemania. The fans chant for Cena. No threat of retirement, no talk of Cena being frail, no Stephanie rambling about whatever nonsense she has on her mind this week. Just simple, good old fashioned AMERICA vs. Russia. It's worked forever and it still works today. Stop overthinking these things.
Bray says he can't wait much longer so tonight he raises the dead. Find him.
Rusev yells at Lana in Russian and she walks away, presumably to a movie set for a film that 18 people will see but will still be critically acclaimed, at least according to Michael Cole.
New Day vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro
Non-title but New Days says they want the belts. Just pencil in the non-title loss now. Kofi is on the floor this week. Kidd and Woods get things going with Tyson being dragged over to the corner for some backbreakers from Big E. Back to Woods who kicks Kidd in the head for two but Cesaro sneaks in to take out Woods' knee. The champs start focusing on the knee but Big E. tries to come in for a save. Woods grabs a quick rollup into a faceplant for the fast pin on Kidd at 3:50.
Natalya vs. Naomi
Joined in progress after the break with a pinfall reversal sequence leading to some quick near falls. The Sharpshooter goes on but Naomi makes the ropes. The guys get in a fight on the floor and Naomi hits the Rear View for the pin at 2:41.
Natalya takes Kidd's title post match.
Los Matadores vs. Usos
There's no transition between any of these three matches as everyone keeps coming out during the exits for the previous match. Fernando headscissors Jimmy down and we take an early break. Cole calls Los Matadores underrated. If they're underrated, I can't imagine who is actually low rated.
Back with Jey dancing and bringing in Jimmy for a double elbow. The fans chant for Punk as Fernando cranks on Jimmy's arm but thankfully it dies down just as fast. Everything breaks down and Diego dives into a superkick for two but Fernando sends Jey to the floor. Jey nails his big dive and Fernando charges into a Samoan drop. Torito offers a distraction but Fernando shoves Jimmy into the bull for the upset rollup at 8:05.
We recap the opening segment.
Rollins tells the Stooges to calm down and says he's the mastermind of everything.
Here's Bray Wyatt with something to say. He says he never sleeps but he's always dreaming. He sees cities burning and governments crumbling because there is such beauty in chaos. In his dreams, the buzzards guide him to the shell of a man. Below the buzzards lay the Undertaker's broken body. Pride is Bray's favorite sin and it was pride that has led him to Undertaker. He doesn't want to bow down to Undertaker or even stand by his side.
All he wants to do is walk over Undertaker on his way to the throne because he is the new face of fear. Everyone knew the Streak was going to end at some point and now Wrestlemania will be Undertaker's final resting place. So will Undertaker accept his challenge? The urn is behind Wyatt and he suggests that it's the way to bring him back. Bray opens the urn and nothing comes out of it.
He sets it back on the table and smoke stars to come out of it. Lightning appears on the screen and Bray shouts GIVE IT TO ME. The gong strikes and the fans are just as into it as they were last year. The lights go out and it sounds again before a spotlight shows the table and urn gone and Bray's old rocking chair in the ring. Undertaker's voice comes on and says you will rest in peace as the Wrestlemania logo and the man comes around (at least I think that's what it said as they only showed it on a wide shot) appears on screen. Lightning hits the chair and lights it on fire, sending Bray to his knees in laughter.
Wyatt vs. Undertaker is official for Wrestlemania.
We look at Cena choking out Rusev again. Cena will have an exclusive interview just after Raw. I believe they said a Jericho DVD preview would have that spot.
Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton/Seth Rollins
JBL on Reigns' entrance: let's get to it. That got way too big of a smile from me. The bell rings at 11:03 and Reigns goes right at Rollins, only to be sent into the middle buckle. Reigns is sent to the floor to give Seth control as Orton just stands on the apron looking bored. The Stooges get in an argument with Orton over not double teaming so Randy punches Noble in the face.
Rollins sends the two of them out, leaving he and Randy alone for the Authority. Reigns ducks a charge and sends Seth into the buckle to put both guys down. Seth crawls over but Orton moves away from the tag. A double middle finger (which the camera makes sure to pan down from) sends Rollins the message and the spear is good enough to pin Seth at 4:10.
Post match Reigns leaves and Orton yells at Seth before throwing him to the floor. He sends Rollins into the steps and says he would never rejoin the Authority. An uppercut knocks Rollins over the barricade and the beating continues in the crowd. Orton hits him in the back with a chair as Seth hasn't done a thing yet. They head back to ringside with Rollins being thrown over the announcers' table.
Orton RKOs Rollins through the table to end the show. Wouldn't it have been far better to have Orton just show up and set up the match as a psycho? Oh right we had to see Stephanie calm things down and yell at people instead. What was I thinking? On top of that, sweet goodness it's convenient that Orton got rid of everyone so easily in one night. Also, I'm so glad Reigns was used as little more than a warm body here. Seriously that could have been anyone and it would have had the same result.
Results
Daniel Bryan b. Bad News Barrett Running knee
Dean Ambrose b. Stardust Dirty Deeds
Erick Rowan/Ryback b. Big Show/Kane Rowan pinned Kane after a KO Punch from Big Show
AJ Lee b. Summer Rae Black Widow
Rusev b. Curtis Axel Accolade
New Day b. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro Rollup into a faceplant to Kidd
Naomi b. Natalya Rear View
Los Matadores b. Usos Rollup to Jimmy
Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins/Randy Orton Spear
Tuesday
Nothing.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: March 11, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Jason Albert
Things are starting to pick up again in NXT as commentator Alex Riley is coming after NXT Champion Kevin Owens for bullying him on commentary recently. First up for Riley is CJ Parker, as Alex has to earn a shot at the champ. Other than that we're waiting on the return of Sami Zayn and the Finn Balor showdown with Owens for the title. In other words, no one likes Owens except the audience. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady vs. Lucha Dragons
No Carmella this week. Enzo thinks the Dragons are more like the Geico Lizards. Cass: Either save us 15% or more or get out of our way! When I grow up, I want to be Enzo's beard. Enzo and Kalisto get things going as the fans duel between GEICO LIZARDS! and FIFTEEN PERCENT! Kalisto grabs an armbar to take Enzo down and it's quickly off to Cara, who slams his partner into a senton on Amore for two. The tag brings in Big Cass who shows Cara how to throw your partner around.
Enzo comes back in but gets kicked away, allowing the hot tag to Kalisto as things speed up. The Dragons take over again as this is going longer than your average opening match on this show. Everything breaks down with Enzo and Cass going outside. Cass shoves his buddy away to take the double dive but is still able to break up the swanton from Cara. He does the smart thing by dragging Enzo over for the tag and the East River Crossing plants Kalisto, setting up a Rocket Launcher from Amore for the pin at 5:40.
Next week we see matches from NXT at the Arnold Sports Festival in Columbus, Ohio.
Video on Alex Riley.
Video on Kevin Owens' dominance.
Alexa Bliss vs. Carmella
Carmella throws her away from a headlock to start but Bliss grabs the arm to take over. Alexa misses a charge into the corner so Carmella just hammers her in the face. The fans aren't exactly interested in having Carmella out there. We hit the body scissors on Bliss before Carmella drives her back into the corner. This really isn't much to see so far. Bliss comes back with some forearms and a flip splash for two, followed by a spinning splash from the top (the Sparkle Splash) for the pin at 5:03.
Alex Riley gives a very serious speech about being stuck in a cage for two years and constantly being told maybe next week kid. Owens talks about having a wife and kids but Riley's family is in that arena. It's time to fight for his family. Really good stuff from Riley here and I've always been a fan of his. I always thought it was a waste of his talents to put him behind a mic for so long but at least he's getting back in the ring now.
Breeze says this didn't have to get ugly with Itami. Well you were involved so maybe it did have to get ugly.
CJ Parker vs. Alex Riley
Riley's entrance cuts off Parker complaining about the world. Riley is still in shape but his face makes him look a bit homeless. Parker's headlock doesn't get him very far as Riley comes back with a nice dropkick. The TKO is countered though and Parker lays in some left hands. The Third Eye is countered with a backdrop and Riley nails a hard clothesline. Something like John Morrison's flip neckbreaker puts Parker down again and a Blockbuster is good for the pin at 3:20.
Post match Kevin Owens comes out and calls Alex Riley the dumbest man in NXT. Riley gave up his commentary career just so Riley can destroy his in ring career too. Owens hasn't forgotten about Finn Balor either.
Tyler Breeze vs. Hideo Itami
Rematch from Rival. Breeze heads to the floor to start and says this won't be like last time. He does it a second time and the fans keep booing. Old style heat still works. Back in and Breeze drives Itami into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs but Itami kicks him right to the floor. Itami throws him back inside for a running knee in the corner and the tornado DDT into a guillotine. He goes back up but gets crotched this time, giving Tyler his first real advantage.
The fans think Itami is gorgeous as Breeze drops a leg and puts on a chinlock. Back from a break with Itami punching Breeze away and hitting a top rope dropkick to put both guys down. A leg trip sends Breeze to the floor and a big kick gets two. Itami kicks him in the face but walks into the Supermodel Kick for two.
Breeze gets pulled face first into the post while trying to crotch Itami, setting up a top rope knee to the back of the head. Breeze gets up again though and Itami is getting mad. The fans call for the GTS but have to settle for a hard series of strikes instead. Itami misses a running dropkick in the corner though and the Beauty Shot is good for the pin on Hideo at 11:25.
Results
Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady b. Lucha Dragons Rocket Launcher to Kalisto
Alexa Bliss b. Carmella Sparkle Splash
Alex Riley b. CJ Parker Blockbuster
Tyler Breeze b. Hideo Itami Beauty Shot