klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Smackdown got a 2.08, up from last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: March 31, 2014
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
It's the final Raw before Wrestlemania so I wouldn't expect the most exciting shot tonight. Everything is set up for Sunday and all there is left to do is give us the hard sell. There's a chance to have something else change before we get there but I can't imagine it would be anything big. Let's get to it.
Here's Undertaker to open the show. As he makes his entrance to the ring, we see a clip from the end of last week's show. He looks at the sign and says twenty one men have stood up and twenty one men have been sat down. At the showcase of the immortals, he will go further than anyone else and that is why the Streak stays alive. Brock is probably thinking how he's going to break the Streak, but what he should be thinking is what happens when Undertaker takes him out into the deep water.
What is Brock going to do when his feet can't hit the bottom? Will he try and take Undertaker down with him, or will he try to swim back to shore? Of course there are some people that think the Streak will end one day. However, there are three things that can't be beaten: Death, taxes, and the Streak. He goes to say the catchphrase but here are Lesnar and Heyman to interrupt.
Paul says this isn't a match Brock has to win, but rather a match Undertaker can't lose. All it takes is one F5 and then three seconds later it's all over. This Sunday is the biggest Wrestlemania moment since Hulk Hogan defeated Andre the Giant, and that's a spoiler. Lesnar turns to leave but looks back and walks down to the ring. Undertaker gets ready to go so Brock stops to point at the sign. He circles the ring and gets in after a Heyman distraction. Undertaker gets in some shots but gets caught in the F5, laying Undertaker out for the first time in the feud.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E.
Battle royal hype time. Del Rio gets run over for an early two and a fall away slam gets the same. Big E. avoids a charge into the post and hurts his shoulder, allowing Del Rio to crush Big E.'s hand into the steps. Back from a break with Big E. suplexing Del Rio down and trying to get some feeling back into his shoulder.
Alberto grabs the armbreaker over the ropes but Big E. catches him coming off the top to take over. A belly to belly looks to set up the Big Ending but Del Rio escapes into the Backstabber for two. The armbreaker is countered into a powerslam for two but now the armbreaker goes on. Big E. tries to power out but gets put in the full hold.
He rolls up again and powers Del Rio up into a modified powerbomb for two as Del Rio grabs the rope. Big E. misses another charge and gets hung up in the ropes, allowing Alberto to go up for a HUGE double stomp to the chest, drawing a big gasp from the crowd. The superkick is good for the pin at 10:29 as Del Rio continues to be Big E.'s Kryptonite.
We look back at the Wyatts knocking out Cena and putting him in the mask last week.
Bray says the world craves change. However they turn a blind eye to the landfills because you can't just whisper in people's ears anymore and expect them to listen. He gets right up in the camera and asks if he has their attention now. She told him that he would be the one to change diamonds into dust and change the world. They're going to cry for Cena but in time they'll forget him when Cena is left with nothing. Bray says he's the monster and sings about having the whole world in his hands.
We get a Total Divas recap, which I can't believe has taken this long.
Natalya vs. Summer Rae
This is a result of a fight on Total Divas. Vickie is on commentary and tells us that the Divas match on Sunday is going to be one fall with all fourteen girls in there at the same time. They're not even trying to keep things calm. Natalya takes Summer down and the dancing girl screams a lot. She comes back with a bad looking clothesline and puts on a chinlock for a few moments.
Nattie fights back with a low dropkick and snap suplex. Summer slaps her in the face so Natalya returns the favor. Rae charges at her but gets taken down, only to kick out of the Sharpshooter. She comes back with a quick kick to the head and gets the pin on Natalya out of nowhere at 2:23.
Here's the Authority for the end of the YES Movement. Stephanie says tonight is the chance for everyone to say goodbye before HHH destroys Daniel Bryan on Sunday. HHH talks about how people are looking at Bryan as the flavor of the month. He and Stephanie demonstrate Fandangoing before saying the fans are the reason nothing came from that. Stephanie starts a YES chant and says anyone can get that going.
Daniel Bryan won't be here tonight because it's best for business. HHH says people don't understand business, such as when they say he has power because he married well. While it's true he married spectacularly, the reason he has what he has is because of his dominance in the ring. It didn't matter what guy you jumped on as the savior, because HHH was going to take them down.
This takes us to a video, narrated by Stephanie, of various people he's taken down over the years, such as Booker T, Scott Steiner, RVD, Jeff Hardy, Goldberg, Mick Foley, Chris Jericho and Kurt Angle. All of them rose up for a bit but now all that's left is the Game. At Wrestlemania, Daniel Bryan will be another sacrificial lamb and the fans will lose another chosen one, because there is only one HHH. This was AMAZING and sold the idea perfectly.
Back live and HHH says they were all just players, but he's the Game now more than ever. On Sunday, he'll destroy Daniel Bryan and then walk out as the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. They go to leave but here's Batista to interrupt. Batista digs the video, but noticed he wasn't in it because HHH has never beaten him. HHH makes fun of Batista's Georgetown (local college basketball team) jersey but Batista says HHH shouldn't be worried about a title match he's not even in yet. HHH says go get ready for your match and Batista says that's a good idea, which makes sense because Stephanie is the brawn of this family.
Orton comes out and says he wants a front row seat if Stephanie is about to slap him again. Orton says he respects the Authority and loves the idea of a triple threat, but asks HHH to think again about being in the title match. HHH tells Orton that no amount of sucking up is going to get him out of this because his title reign is coming to an end very soon. That is, unless Orton can become the Viper again. HHH makes the main event No DQ to try and make Orton all the more evil.
Usos/Los Matadores vs. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel
Ryback shoves Jimmy into the corner to start but Jimmy comes back with kicks in the chest. The Usos hit a double kick to the ribs, only to have Ryback run Jey over and make the tag off to Axel. Jey catapults Curtis into a forearm from Fernando and Diego follows in with a slingshot splash. Axel gets double teamed by both teams until it's back to Jey for a wristlock.
Off to Cesaro for some hard forearms before Swagger comes in to stomp away. Jey fights back with right hands and clotheslines before sending Ryback out to the floor. Fernando comes in and tags out to Jimmy before anything happens. Jimmy and Fernando dive over the top to take out the Real Americans, setting up Jey with a top rope cross body for two on Swagger.
Jack sends him to the floor and knocks him off the apron for a crash. Back from a break with Cesaro dropkicking Jey down for two and getting the same off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Swagger comes in and literally throws Cesaro into the corner onto Jey. Ryback comes in and puts on a chinlock until Jey fights up and hits a bulldog. The hot tag brings in Jimmy to clean house and speed things way up.
A release Samoan drop puts Axel down and the running Umaga attack in the corner gets two. Ryback gets superkicked to the floor and Axel gets two off a rollup. Jack makes a blind tag and kicks Jimmy in the face for two with Diego making the save. Cesaro loads up the Swing but Fernando breaks it up to a lot of booing. Back inside and the Vader Bomb is countered but Jimmy avoids the Patriot Lock and kicks Swagger in the face. Diego dives off the top but lands in the Patriot Lock but doesn't tap. Swagger goes after Jey but the Matadores switch, allowing Fernando to roll Jack up for the pin at 13:55.
Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Fandango/Damien Sandow
Fandango takes Cody into the corner before it's off to Sandow to stomp away, knocking Rhodes out to the floor. We hit a chinlock on Cody before a drop toehold breaks up a hot tag attempt. Cody kicks Damien away and tags Goldust anyway to clean house. Goldust takes both heels down with the top rope cross body before getting two on Sandow. Cody dives off the top to take down Fandango, allowing Goldust to hit the Final Cut for the pin on Damien at 4:08.
We recap Shield vs. Kane/Outlaws.
Shield says they almost feel bad for Kane. One of them will be facing Kane tonight, decided by a WWE App vote. Rollins says the geriatric Outlaws will be joining Kane on Sunday and be shown why the fist is the new symbol of excellence. Ambrose promises to show the old guys a new things about attitude. Reigns says Believe in the Shield.
R-Truth vs. Bray Wyatt
Bray runs him over to start and laughs a lot, only to run into a leg lariat. Wyatt comes right back with the hard running cross body before hammering away with right hands and headbutts. We hit a quick camel clutch for a bit before a belly to back suplex into a facebuster puts Truth down again. Sister Abigail is enough for the pin at 4:35.
Xavier Woods gets beaten down post match. The Wyatts pose but there's another guy in coveralls and a sheep mask. Bray looks up at him and it's John Cena to an ERUPTION. Rowan takes an AA but Bray escapes to fight on Sunday. That's one of the loudest pops for Cena that I've heard in months. Bray gives Cena a bizarre look from the ramp.
We look back at Vickie making the Divas Title match.
AJ Lee vs. Naomi
Lumberjill match with the other challengers on the floor and Vickie on the stage. AJ is immediately sent to the floor and thrown back in but Naomi doesn't get the same treatment. Now the champion is sent outside again and the other girls throw her right back in. Back in and AJ fires off kicks to the ribs before it's off to a guillotine check.
A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Naomi but she comes back with a kick to the head. AJ is sent to the floor again but Tamina tries to protect her. That's fine with them though as Tamina gets beaten down as well. The Divas throw AJ back inside after one heck of a beating, allowing Naomi to hit the Rear View for the easy pin at 4:04.
A nervous John Cena talks about Bray Wyatt spreading his propaganda. Cena has just shown Bray what happens when he gets backed into a corner. On Sunday John Cena will be a monster because being a monster for a day secures a legacy for a lifetime. Yes he's afraid but the moment you realize he has the ability to face it, everything is worth it. Cena is bringing the change to the eater of worlds on Sunday and tells us all to be watching on Sunday.
The expert panel talks about Bray vs. Cena.
We look back at the opening segment.
Roman Reigns wins the poll with 80% of the vote.
Roman Reigns vs. Kane
Kane gets pounded down in the corner but raises a boot to stop a charging Reigns. A hard clothesline sets up the chokeslam but Reigns powers out of it. Some right hands stagger Kane and there's a BIG running clothesline to drop Kane. Kane gets knocked into the ropes and the running boot to the side of the heads knocks him back inside. He loads up the Superman Punch but here come the Outlaws. Ambrose and Rollins cut them off though, allowing Reigns to nail the Superman Punch. The other Shield members get inside to surround Kane and the beating is on for the DQ at 3:09.
It's time for Piper's Pit with a surprise guest. Piper says it's Wrestlemania season and is thrilled that Wrestlemania I was 29 years ago today. He talks about how important Andre the Giant was to the first Wrestlemania and says the winner of the battle royal will get their Wrestlemania moment. Piper is about to talk about his favorite for the match but here's Miz to interrupt.
Miz brags about actually winning in the main event of Wrestlemania, meaning the other 29 superstars don't compare to him at all, just like the Pit doesn't compare to MizTV. This brings out Sheamus to make Piper even angrier. Sheamus says Miz isn't fit to hold Roddy's kilt before talking about winning the battle royal. Cue Titus as Piper is getting hilarious with his ranting over the interruptions. He spells out his name and barks in Piper's face.
Here's Ziggler, drawing out a “REALLY??? REALLY??? I'M TALKING HERE!!!” from Piper. Roddy looks at all of them and has something to say to each ot them. Piper pokes Miz in the eye and throws him to Sheamus as a fight breaks out. A bunch of other guys in the battle royal hit the ring for a ten to twelve man fight.
Rey Mysterio comes out with music to kick Dolph in the head. Sin Cara takes a 619 and Brogue Kick until Big Show comes out to really clean the ring. Rey and Big Show are the only ones left standing and Rey begs off, only to hit a 619 to the ribs. A top rope seated senton is just dumb though and Rey is thrown to the floor in a big pile. Roddy raises Big Show's hand to end the segment.
Batista vs. Randy Orton
No DQ and non-title. Batista is the hometown boy and gets a decent reaction from the crowd. Before the match here are HHH and Stephanie coming down to do commentary. Orton takes him down to the floor to start and hammers away but gets sent into the post. Back in and Randy stomps away before sending Batista out to the floor and into the barricade.
Batista's arm is rammed into the announce table a lot and a belly to back suplex onto the barricade has him in even more trouble. Randy nails him in the back with a chair before they head back inside. Batista knocks Orton right back to the floor and slams him into the announce table a few times. HHH says show him the Animal so Batista rams Orton spine first into the apron. He gets a chair of his own but Randy pulls on a kendo stick to blast Batista.
Back in again and the spinebuster puts Orton down but the Batista Bomb is countered into the backbreaker. There's the Elevated DDT but Daniel Bryan jumps over the announce table and jumps HHH. Orton goes outside to take out Bryan but gets taken down as well. Randy gets back up and sends Bryan into the steps as Stephanie checks on her “baby”. Batista nails Orton with the spear but Bryan kicks him in the head and hits the knee. FLYING GOAT takes HHH down as everything is going nuts. A bunch of kendo stick shots knock HHH into the ring before Bryan dropkicks Orton off the apron. The match is thrown out at about 8:00.
A huge YES chant erupts as HHH shouts that Bryan is done to end the show.
Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Big E. – Superkick
Summer Rae b. Natalya – Kick to the faceless
Los Matadores/Usos b. Real Americans/Curtis Axel/Ryback – Rollup to Swagger
Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Damien Sandow/Fandango – Final Cut to Sandow
Bray Wyatt b. R-Truth – Sister Abigail
Naomi b. AJ Lee – Pin after the lumberjills beat up AJ on the floor
Kane b. Roman Reigns via DQ when Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins interfered
Randy Orton vs. Batista went to a no contest
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.14, up slightly from last week.
Wednesday
Nothing.
Thursday
Steve Austin will be at Wrestlemania in some fashion.
NXT
Date: April 3, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, William Regal, Byron Saxton
The big story coming into tonight is the injury to Sami Zayn at the hands of Corey Graves. Other than that there isn't much going on in NXT at the moment, but thankfully that's a problem they can solve very quickly. We need a new challenger for Adrian Neville as well. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
Emma vs. Sasha Banks
The Aussie grabs a headlock to start before dropping down next to Sasha who is already on the mat. It's funny you see. A slam gets one on Sasha but Emma misses a charge into the corner. The fans tell Sasha that she's rachet, whatever that means. Thankfully Renee Young speaks Full Sail and tells us that it's not nice. Sasha misses a legdrop and gets caught in the Dilemma followed by the Emma Sandwich. It's hard to not smile at that one. Charlotte gets on the apron for a distraction but Sasha accidentally knocks Emma into her, setting up the Emma Lock for the submission at 3:52. Renee: “GOOD TRUMPS EVIL!”
Video on Mojo Rawley.
John Vandal/Jack Hurley vs. Ascension
Non-title. Viktor runs over Hurley to start and throws him into Vandal to knock both guys to the floor. Back in and it's off to Konor to destroy Vandal with some hard slams. Fans: “ONE MORE TIME!” A running splash crushes Vandal and the Fall of Man is good for the pin at 1:55. Can we get some challengers already?
Tyler Breeze has entered the building.
Xavier Woods vs. Brodus Clay
Brodus has new music and is all thuggish now, which fits him far better than the funk stuff. Xavier hits a quick dropkick to start and kicks Brodus down to the mat. Not that it matters as Brodus pops back up and hits a quick t-bone suplex to take over. Brodus even busts out an old school Heart Punch and another suplex for two. We hit the nerve hold for a few moments before Woods fights back with chops and kicks to the head. A Shining Wizard gets two for Xavier but Clay shrugs it off and drills Woods with a powerbomb (“BETTER THAN BATISTA!”, setting up a middle rope splash for the pin on Woods at 3:09.
Post match Brodus says WWE has taken everything from him but now he's doing the taking. His first target is the NXT Championship.
Adrian Neville says Brodus wants to just come in here and take the title before heading back to WWE. That's not happening around here though because this is the future of wrestling. Brodus has to earn his shot and once he does, Adrian will be right here waiting.
Tyler Breeze vs. Yoshi Tatsu
Breeze is wearing Guatemalan Alpaca boots made by a hunchback hermit. He hammers away on Yoshi to start and kicks him in the back for an early two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Tyler takes his head off with a forearm. The Beauty Shot is good for the pin at 1:43.
Sami Zayn feels fine going into the main event tonight and he's been medically cleared. The only person that has anything to fear tonight is Corey Graves.
Graves tells a story about an underdog going into the woods and getting caught in a bear trap. The wolves came out and devoured him, just like Corey will do to Zayn tonight.
Video on Paige.
Paige says she's coming for Charlotte next because the BFFs stole her moment at Arrival.
Corey Graves vs. Sami Zayn
Graves hides in the ropes to start and then bails to the floor. Sami finally follows him out and hammers away before throwing Graves back inside, only to knock him outside again with a hard clothesline. The big flip dive takes Graves out but he takes over with a hard knee to the head as we take a break. Back with Corey grabbing a chinlock and hammering Sami's head into the corner.
Sami is all shaken as he swings at air and Graves takes him back down into another chinlock. The referee checks on Sami before Graves pounds at his head even more. Off to chinlock #3 which the fans say they love. Zayn gets up again and grabs a rollup for two, only to get caught in a wheelbarrow facebuster. A backbreaker gets two for Graves but he charges into an exploder suplex into the corner.
The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two more and Sami is a bit frustrated. Graves counters the running kick into the corner and they ram heads to put both guys down. Sami tries to go up top but can't get his balance. Regal wants the match stopped and Graves gets in another shot to the head. Lucky 13 goes on and the referee stops it at 15:55 shown of 19:25.
Sami yells at the referee to end the show.
Results
Emma b. Sasha Banks – Emma Lock
Ascension b. John Vandal/Jack Hurley – Fall of Man to Vandal
Brodus Clay b. Xavier Woods – Middle rope splash
Tyler Breeze b. Yoshi Tatsu – Beauty Shot
Corey Graves b. Sami Zayn via referee stoppage
Impact Wrestling
Date: April 3, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
It's a big show this week with a fourway for the World Title as Magnus defends against Eric Young, Samoa Joe and his own employee Abyss. Other than that we also have a tag team tables match between Bully Ray/Willow vs. Ethan Carter III/Bobby Roode as two feuds are combined. Hardy certainly is quick to forgive Ray for that hammer to the head at last year's Lockdown. Let's get to it.
The opening video is your standard recap of the four way for the title.
Bully Ray/Willow vs. Ethan Carter III/Bobby Roode
Tables match. It's a brawl to start with the feuding parties teaming off and the good guys taking an early advantage. Poetry in Motion crushes Roode in the corner and there's a What's Up for Ethan. Ray wants the tables and the fans chant for them as well. Ray throws one in but Roode takes him down with a clothesline while Ethan nails Willow with a dropkick. A double backdrop through the table doesn't quite work as Ray makes the save, only to get forearmed down by Carter.
Hardy makes the same save from a double suplex but takes a Carter clothesline. Carter tries to ram Willow face first into the mat but gets screamed at for his efforts. A cartwheel into a splash sets up the slingshot dropkick and Willow dances a bit. The Twisting Stunner sets up a Twist of Fate but here's Spud in a wheelchair to distract the Swanton.
Ethan is still on the table though so Ray goes up, only to have Roode shove him over the table instead. Roode goes up but Bully grabs a crotch claw of all things before throwing him into Ethan. A big double clothesline drops the heels and there's the Flip Flop and Fly to Bobby. Roode is able to save Ethan from a powerbomb through the table though and catches Ray in a spinebuster through the table for the win at 6:14.
Bobby hits the Roode Bomb to send Ray through another table but he's still not done. A top rope splash puts Ray through another table. Did Willow get shot or something?
Kenny King shows up on a golf cart but is told he doesn't have a match. He tips the production guy anyway.
Magnus says don't worry about Abyss tonight.
MVP is thrilled for the viewers tonight because the card is so awesome. Kenny King comes in and asks why he doesn't have a match but is told to come back later.
Mr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw
This is a straitjacket match which is like a casket match but you know, with a straitjacket instead of a casket. You have to put the other guy in it to win. Before the match Shaw insists that he isn't creepy and talks about his hands making art. The worst crime in society is to be ordinary but Anderson jump Shaw to start on the fight on the floor. Shaw is sent into the steps and Anderson walks around a lot as we go to a break.
Back with Shaw hitting Anderson with the straitjacket and nailing some right hands. Anderson's arms go into the jacket but he fights back with shots to the face and his usual stuff, despite barely being able to use his arms. The rolling fireman's carry puts Shaw down but he low blows his way to freedom. Anderson is taken down by the choke but fights out of another attempt at being put in the jacket. The problem with this match is quickly made obvious: it takes a LONG time to put someone in the jacket so it takes a long time for Shaw to get it on for the win at 9:16.
The Beautiful People say they made Madison and they'll break her tonight, no matter who her mystery partner is.
Eric Young says he made the monster and is scared of what he's become.
We're supposed to start the first match a best of three series for Sanada's X-Division Title but we have an interruption. Before the match Kenny King comes out and says he means no disrespect to his international friends but this should be about him. He's the Pretty Boy Pitbull and he is the X-Division. He was doing stuff that Mil Mascaras was only dreaming of when he was a toddler but MVP breaks things up after that great line. He says King can't mess with his show, which sends King into a rant about how this isn't MVP's show.
King wants to be in the ring but MVP says the card is booked for tonight. He offers King a spot next week but Kenny has another idea: an exhibition match with MVP tonight. MVP says no again but King slaps him in the face. The challenge goes out again and MVP says it's on for tonight.
Sanada vs. Tigre Uno
The match starts after a break with some very fast paced kicks and counters to kicks, including a kick sending Sanada out to the floor. Back in and Tigre cranks on both of the champion's arms until Sanada gets to the corner and takes Uno down, only to miss a standing moonsault. Uno misses a splash in the corner and gets rolled up for a close two count. After a quick run to the floor, Tigre comes back in with a spinwheel kick, only to springboard into a dropkick. Sanada gets crotched on the top rope but gets his knees up to block a split legged moonsault. A tiger suplex is enough to pin Tigre at 3:40.
Magnus says he'll tell us where Abyss has been.
The new Knockout Brittany offers to be Madison's partner tonight in acting reminiscent of a bad Divas segment. Madison turns her down because it's a never ending cycle with the Beautiful People. Brittany won't take no for an answer and Madison eventually gives in.
Magnus calls Abyss to the ring and here's the monster in a suit. The champ says Abyss looks like a winner because of who he's associated with. They need to discuss strategy for the match tonight, which really is a handicap match instead of a four corners match. Magnus says everyone knows what is going to happen tonight because they're a team. He brings up James Mitchell and Eric Young to scare Abyss before giving him a big hug. They go to leave but Eric Young jumps them in the aisle. This goes about as well as you would expect until Joe makes the save. Eric isn't pleased for some reason.
Robbie E comes in to see MVP and says Jesse is injured so the Bro Mans can't defend against the Wolves tonight. Lawsuits are threatened and the title match is off.
We get more of Knux going back to see his dad about shutting down the family carnival. The dad invites him in and says Knux was supposed to take all this stuff over. Knux says his dad always told him to do what he dreamed of but now dad wants him to come back here and keep things going to help a lot of people. Knux agrees to stay for a few days.
Beautiful People vs. Brittany/Madison Rayne
Brittany starts with Love and scores with some early armdrags and a bad looking slam. Off to Velvet who charges into an elbow but trips Brittany to the mat. A double Beautiful Elbow gets two for Angelina as Tenay plugs the Bellator show. The Beautiful People double team Brittany for a bit until she takes Love down and makes the hot tag to Rayne. Brittany tags herself back in for no apparent reason as everything breaks down. A quick double kick from the Beautiful People (called the Makeover) is enough to pin Brittany at 4:03.
Kenny King vs. MVP
This is an exhibition match, which will be explained later I assume. They shake hands to start and MVP puts on a wristlock. King escapes and stands on the buckle for a bit as this is slow paced to start. They trade wristlocks and hammerlocks until King grabs a headlock. MVP trips King down and puts on an STF but lets it go for no apparent reason.
Kenny takes him down again before flipping up to his feet for some posing. We get some chain wrestling on the mat into a front facelock from MVP as the fans chant YOU STILL GOT IT. They finally start throwing punches and it turns into a scrap on the mat until the bell rings for no apparent reason at 5:22.
Magnus asks if Ethan has his back tonight. Carter thinks Magnus is scared of Abyss and doesn't answer.
MVP jumps King in the back.
TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Eric Young vs. Magnus vs. Abyss
This is one fall to a finish and Magnus is defending. Abyss goes after Eric as the champion fires off forearms to Joe against the ropes. Joe comes back with the running backsplash before they head outside. Young slides through Abyss' legs and dropkicks him to the floor before hitting a suicide dive to take out all three guys. Back in and Eric gets two on Magnus via a high cross body. Abyss splashes his boss by mistake, leaving us with Eric vs. Joe. Magnus and Abyss get back into things as we take a break.
Back with Magnus and Abyss in control as the champion directs the monster on who to attack. Abyss rips at Joe's face as Magnus drops Eric with an elbow to the face. The slow heel dominance continues as Brian Hebner runs away from Abyss. Eric is sat on the top rope but Magnus wants to do this one himself. Young fights out of a superplex attempt and knocks Abyss back, setting up a double missile dropkick.
Magnus stops the momentum by throwing Eric out to the floor though, only to have Joe come back and take over. A powerslam gets two on Magnus but Eric makes the save. The same move gets the same result on Young with Abyss making the save. There's a powerslam to Abyss but Joe can't follow up. Instead he grabs the choke on Magnus but the champion grabs the referee and kicks the Samoan low.
The Black Hole Slam puts Joe down and Magnus whips him knees first into the steps. Young bites his way out of a chokeslam but walks into a Black Hole Slam of his own. Abyss doesn't cover though as Magnus tells him no. Magnus slowly explains things to Abyss and drops the elbow on Young to retain the title at 14:13.
Next week: The Wrath of Dixie. Oh joy.
Results
Bobby Roode/Ethan Carter III b. Willow/Jeff Hardy – Spinebuster to Ray through a table
Samuel Shaw b. Mr. Anderson – Shaw put Anderson in the straitjacket
Sanada b. Tigre Uno – Tiger suplex
Beautiful People b. Brittany/Madison Rayne – Makeover to Brittany
MVP vs. Kenny King went to a no contest
Magnus b. Abyss, Eric Young and Samoa Joe – Top rope elbow to Young
Friday
Smackdown
Date: April 4, 2014
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
This is one of those weird shows where everything is about hyping up Wrestlemania. There will be a lot of hype videos and stuff from Axxess plus a few matches taking place in the arena. This is going to be a shorter review than normal as it's all about setting up Sunday rather than anything tonight. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Titus O'Neil
Titus throws Ziggler around to start and drops a big leg for two. The announcers run down most of the people in the battle royal as Titus hooks a chinlock. Back up and Titus runs into a pair of boots to the face followed by a cross body and some right hands from Dolph. Ziggler hammers away in the corner even more and drops Titus with a neckbreaker. Titus avoids the Fameasser and gets two of his own off a big boot. He loads up some backbreakers but Ziggler escapes and nails the Zig Zag for the pin at 4:00.
Andre the Giant video.
Video on HHH dominating everyone he's faced over the last eleven years. I think this is slightly different from the video on Monday.
Speaking of Monday, we also get clips from HHH and Stephanie's promo on Raw, followed by the ending of the show.
We get a sitdown interview with Batista conducted by Booker T. Big Dave talks about coming back to the company and being shocked at everything he's seen. Booker agrees that things have changed and we get clips of Batista ranting about the real men being gone. Daniel Bryan is clearly just the flavor of the month and Batista is going to squash him like a bug at Wrestlemania. The fans are living vicariously through Bryan but Daniel just isn't the real deal. Orton is a big corporate sellout and Batista can't wait to kick his face in. You can guarantee that Batista walks out with the title and he'll be enjoying the boos.
Los Matadores vs. Real Americans
Fernando starts with Swagger as the fans chant WE THE PEOPLE. The masked man tries a headscissors out of the corner but gets sent to the apron. He comes right back with an armdrag and it's quickly off to Cesaro to try his luck. Cesaro gets armdragged as well and a headscissors puts him down again. Diego comes in with a slingshot headscissors of his own and the Real Americans want to caucus. Zeb slaps Cesaro to get his attention and not-Antonio isn't happy.
The slap works as Cesaro comes in with a running dropkick of all things followed by some running European uppercuts in the corner. A release gutwrench suplex sends Diego flying and we take a break. Back with Diego fighting out of a chinlock and taking both Real Americans down with a double DDT. He still can't make a hot tag though as Cesaro slams him down and drops a big elbow for two. Back to Swagger who throws Cesaro onto Diego in the corner, followed by a big running clothesline for two.
Diego avoids a charge in the corner and backdrops Cesaro to the floor. The Patriot Lock doesn't work but Cesaro makes a save, allowing Swagger to hit a belly to belly for two. The Vader Bomb into the double stomp gets the same but Diego sends both Americans to the floor. He FINALLY makes the hot tag to Fernando as things speed up. A running elbow gets two on Cesaro and a top rope cannonball gets the same. Diego sends Swagger to the floor as well but Cesaro kicks him in the face. Fernando dives into the Swing and the Neutralizer is good for the pin at 12:19.
Video on AJ Lee which transitions into a video on the Vickie Invitational.
Video on Cena vs. Bray, including their segment from Raw.
Package on Shield vs. Kane/Outlaws, including a big chunk of Kane vs. Reigns from Raw.
We get a sitdown interview with Orton, again conducted by Booker T. He talks about winning the title back in December and how it means he's the top man in the industry. As for the triple threat, Orton knows HHH a lot better than he knows Bryan, but he also knows HHH is brutal. When they step into the ring together, HHH is just another guy.
Orton took what HHH said about holding his hand as a compliment because HHH called him a technically gifted wrestler. This came off as him not wanting to yell at his boss. We get a quick clip of Occupy Raw and Orton calls him a fad. There's no guarantee that Bryan will make it into the match though so Orton isn't worried.
As for Batista, he's missed four long years and is stuck in the past. Back in the day he would have been an opponent but now he's just a guy. Orton promises to keep the title on Sunday. I liked this more than I thought I would have as it felt like it was more from Orton the person rather than Orton the character.
Video on Brock vs. Undertaker.
Here's Hogan in the arena to close the show. He's glad to be back here in Washington and is pumped up to be the host. Hulk talks about his own great Wrestlemania memories like the main event of Wrestlemania I, Wrestlemania XVIII against The Rock and of course Wrestlemania III against Andre. That match makes the battle royal so important to him and we see the trophy on the screen. Hulk calls it beautiful and asks what we're going to do when it runs wild on YOU and that's the show.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Titus O'Neil – Zig Zag
Real Americans b. Los Matadores – Neutralizer to Fernando
Smackdown got a 2.08, up from last week.
Monday Night Raw
Date: March 31, 2014
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
It's the final Raw before Wrestlemania so I wouldn't expect the most exciting shot tonight. Everything is set up for Sunday and all there is left to do is give us the hard sell. There's a chance to have something else change before we get there but I can't imagine it would be anything big. Let's get to it.
Here's Undertaker to open the show. As he makes his entrance to the ring, we see a clip from the end of last week's show. He looks at the sign and says twenty one men have stood up and twenty one men have been sat down. At the showcase of the immortals, he will go further than anyone else and that is why the Streak stays alive. Brock is probably thinking how he's going to break the Streak, but what he should be thinking is what happens when Undertaker takes him out into the deep water.
What is Brock going to do when his feet can't hit the bottom? Will he try and take Undertaker down with him, or will he try to swim back to shore? Of course there are some people that think the Streak will end one day. However, there are three things that can't be beaten: Death, taxes, and the Streak. He goes to say the catchphrase but here are Lesnar and Heyman to interrupt.
Paul says this isn't a match Brock has to win, but rather a match Undertaker can't lose. All it takes is one F5 and then three seconds later it's all over. This Sunday is the biggest Wrestlemania moment since Hulk Hogan defeated Andre the Giant, and that's a spoiler. Lesnar turns to leave but looks back and walks down to the ring. Undertaker gets ready to go so Brock stops to point at the sign. He circles the ring and gets in after a Heyman distraction. Undertaker gets in some shots but gets caught in the F5, laying Undertaker out for the first time in the feud.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E.
Battle royal hype time. Del Rio gets run over for an early two and a fall away slam gets the same. Big E. avoids a charge into the post and hurts his shoulder, allowing Del Rio to crush Big E.'s hand into the steps. Back from a break with Big E. suplexing Del Rio down and trying to get some feeling back into his shoulder.
Alberto grabs the armbreaker over the ropes but Big E. catches him coming off the top to take over. A belly to belly looks to set up the Big Ending but Del Rio escapes into the Backstabber for two. The armbreaker is countered into a powerslam for two but now the armbreaker goes on. Big E. tries to power out but gets put in the full hold.
He rolls up again and powers Del Rio up into a modified powerbomb for two as Del Rio grabs the rope. Big E. misses another charge and gets hung up in the ropes, allowing Alberto to go up for a HUGE double stomp to the chest, drawing a big gasp from the crowd. The superkick is good for the pin at 10:29 as Del Rio continues to be Big E.'s Kryptonite.
We look back at the Wyatts knocking out Cena and putting him in the mask last week.
Bray says the world craves change. However they turn a blind eye to the landfills because you can't just whisper in people's ears anymore and expect them to listen. He gets right up in the camera and asks if he has their attention now. She told him that he would be the one to change diamonds into dust and change the world. They're going to cry for Cena but in time they'll forget him when Cena is left with nothing. Bray says he's the monster and sings about having the whole world in his hands.
We get a Total Divas recap, which I can't believe has taken this long.
Natalya vs. Summer Rae
This is a result of a fight on Total Divas. Vickie is on commentary and tells us that the Divas match on Sunday is going to be one fall with all fourteen girls in there at the same time. They're not even trying to keep things calm. Natalya takes Summer down and the dancing girl screams a lot. She comes back with a bad looking clothesline and puts on a chinlock for a few moments.
Nattie fights back with a low dropkick and snap suplex. Summer slaps her in the face so Natalya returns the favor. Rae charges at her but gets taken down, only to kick out of the Sharpshooter. She comes back with a quick kick to the head and gets the pin on Natalya out of nowhere at 2:23.
Here's the Authority for the end of the YES Movement. Stephanie says tonight is the chance for everyone to say goodbye before HHH destroys Daniel Bryan on Sunday. HHH talks about how people are looking at Bryan as the flavor of the month. He and Stephanie demonstrate Fandangoing before saying the fans are the reason nothing came from that. Stephanie starts a YES chant and says anyone can get that going.
Daniel Bryan won't be here tonight because it's best for business. HHH says people don't understand business, such as when they say he has power because he married well. While it's true he married spectacularly, the reason he has what he has is because of his dominance in the ring. It didn't matter what guy you jumped on as the savior, because HHH was going to take them down.
This takes us to a video, narrated by Stephanie, of various people he's taken down over the years, such as Booker T, Scott Steiner, RVD, Jeff Hardy, Goldberg, Mick Foley, Chris Jericho and Kurt Angle. All of them rose up for a bit but now all that's left is the Game. At Wrestlemania, Daniel Bryan will be another sacrificial lamb and the fans will lose another chosen one, because there is only one HHH. This was AMAZING and sold the idea perfectly.
Back live and HHH says they were all just players, but he's the Game now more than ever. On Sunday, he'll destroy Daniel Bryan and then walk out as the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. They go to leave but here's Batista to interrupt. Batista digs the video, but noticed he wasn't in it because HHH has never beaten him. HHH makes fun of Batista's Georgetown (local college basketball team) jersey but Batista says HHH shouldn't be worried about a title match he's not even in yet. HHH says go get ready for your match and Batista says that's a good idea, which makes sense because Stephanie is the brawn of this family.
Orton comes out and says he wants a front row seat if Stephanie is about to slap him again. Orton says he respects the Authority and loves the idea of a triple threat, but asks HHH to think again about being in the title match. HHH tells Orton that no amount of sucking up is going to get him out of this because his title reign is coming to an end very soon. That is, unless Orton can become the Viper again. HHH makes the main event No DQ to try and make Orton all the more evil.
Usos/Los Matadores vs. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel
Ryback shoves Jimmy into the corner to start but Jimmy comes back with kicks in the chest. The Usos hit a double kick to the ribs, only to have Ryback run Jey over and make the tag off to Axel. Jey catapults Curtis into a forearm from Fernando and Diego follows in with a slingshot splash. Axel gets double teamed by both teams until it's back to Jey for a wristlock.
Off to Cesaro for some hard forearms before Swagger comes in to stomp away. Jey fights back with right hands and clotheslines before sending Ryback out to the floor. Fernando comes in and tags out to Jimmy before anything happens. Jimmy and Fernando dive over the top to take out the Real Americans, setting up Jey with a top rope cross body for two on Swagger.
Jack sends him to the floor and knocks him off the apron for a crash. Back from a break with Cesaro dropkicking Jey down for two and getting the same off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Swagger comes in and literally throws Cesaro into the corner onto Jey. Ryback comes in and puts on a chinlock until Jey fights up and hits a bulldog. The hot tag brings in Jimmy to clean house and speed things way up.
A release Samoan drop puts Axel down and the running Umaga attack in the corner gets two. Ryback gets superkicked to the floor and Axel gets two off a rollup. Jack makes a blind tag and kicks Jimmy in the face for two with Diego making the save. Cesaro loads up the Swing but Fernando breaks it up to a lot of booing. Back inside and the Vader Bomb is countered but Jimmy avoids the Patriot Lock and kicks Swagger in the face. Diego dives off the top but lands in the Patriot Lock but doesn't tap. Swagger goes after Jey but the Matadores switch, allowing Fernando to roll Jack up for the pin at 13:55.
Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Fandango/Damien Sandow
Fandango takes Cody into the corner before it's off to Sandow to stomp away, knocking Rhodes out to the floor. We hit a chinlock on Cody before a drop toehold breaks up a hot tag attempt. Cody kicks Damien away and tags Goldust anyway to clean house. Goldust takes both heels down with the top rope cross body before getting two on Sandow. Cody dives off the top to take down Fandango, allowing Goldust to hit the Final Cut for the pin on Damien at 4:08.
We recap Shield vs. Kane/Outlaws.
Shield says they almost feel bad for Kane. One of them will be facing Kane tonight, decided by a WWE App vote. Rollins says the geriatric Outlaws will be joining Kane on Sunday and be shown why the fist is the new symbol of excellence. Ambrose promises to show the old guys a new things about attitude. Reigns says Believe in the Shield.
R-Truth vs. Bray Wyatt
Bray runs him over to start and laughs a lot, only to run into a leg lariat. Wyatt comes right back with the hard running cross body before hammering away with right hands and headbutts. We hit a quick camel clutch for a bit before a belly to back suplex into a facebuster puts Truth down again. Sister Abigail is enough for the pin at 4:35.
Xavier Woods gets beaten down post match. The Wyatts pose but there's another guy in coveralls and a sheep mask. Bray looks up at him and it's John Cena to an ERUPTION. Rowan takes an AA but Bray escapes to fight on Sunday. That's one of the loudest pops for Cena that I've heard in months. Bray gives Cena a bizarre look from the ramp.
We look back at Vickie making the Divas Title match.
AJ Lee vs. Naomi
Lumberjill match with the other challengers on the floor and Vickie on the stage. AJ is immediately sent to the floor and thrown back in but Naomi doesn't get the same treatment. Now the champion is sent outside again and the other girls throw her right back in. Back in and AJ fires off kicks to the ribs before it's off to a guillotine check.
A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Naomi but she comes back with a kick to the head. AJ is sent to the floor again but Tamina tries to protect her. That's fine with them though as Tamina gets beaten down as well. The Divas throw AJ back inside after one heck of a beating, allowing Naomi to hit the Rear View for the easy pin at 4:04.
A nervous John Cena talks about Bray Wyatt spreading his propaganda. Cena has just shown Bray what happens when he gets backed into a corner. On Sunday John Cena will be a monster because being a monster for a day secures a legacy for a lifetime. Yes he's afraid but the moment you realize he has the ability to face it, everything is worth it. Cena is bringing the change to the eater of worlds on Sunday and tells us all to be watching on Sunday.
The expert panel talks about Bray vs. Cena.
We look back at the opening segment.
Roman Reigns wins the poll with 80% of the vote.
Roman Reigns vs. Kane
Kane gets pounded down in the corner but raises a boot to stop a charging Reigns. A hard clothesline sets up the chokeslam but Reigns powers out of it. Some right hands stagger Kane and there's a BIG running clothesline to drop Kane. Kane gets knocked into the ropes and the running boot to the side of the heads knocks him back inside. He loads up the Superman Punch but here come the Outlaws. Ambrose and Rollins cut them off though, allowing Reigns to nail the Superman Punch. The other Shield members get inside to surround Kane and the beating is on for the DQ at 3:09.
It's time for Piper's Pit with a surprise guest. Piper says it's Wrestlemania season and is thrilled that Wrestlemania I was 29 years ago today. He talks about how important Andre the Giant was to the first Wrestlemania and says the winner of the battle royal will get their Wrestlemania moment. Piper is about to talk about his favorite for the match but here's Miz to interrupt.
Miz brags about actually winning in the main event of Wrestlemania, meaning the other 29 superstars don't compare to him at all, just like the Pit doesn't compare to MizTV. This brings out Sheamus to make Piper even angrier. Sheamus says Miz isn't fit to hold Roddy's kilt before talking about winning the battle royal. Cue Titus as Piper is getting hilarious with his ranting over the interruptions. He spells out his name and barks in Piper's face.
Here's Ziggler, drawing out a “REALLY??? REALLY??? I'M TALKING HERE!!!” from Piper. Roddy looks at all of them and has something to say to each ot them. Piper pokes Miz in the eye and throws him to Sheamus as a fight breaks out. A bunch of other guys in the battle royal hit the ring for a ten to twelve man fight.
Rey Mysterio comes out with music to kick Dolph in the head. Sin Cara takes a 619 and Brogue Kick until Big Show comes out to really clean the ring. Rey and Big Show are the only ones left standing and Rey begs off, only to hit a 619 to the ribs. A top rope seated senton is just dumb though and Rey is thrown to the floor in a big pile. Roddy raises Big Show's hand to end the segment.
Batista vs. Randy Orton
No DQ and non-title. Batista is the hometown boy and gets a decent reaction from the crowd. Before the match here are HHH and Stephanie coming down to do commentary. Orton takes him down to the floor to start and hammers away but gets sent into the post. Back in and Randy stomps away before sending Batista out to the floor and into the barricade.
Batista's arm is rammed into the announce table a lot and a belly to back suplex onto the barricade has him in even more trouble. Randy nails him in the back with a chair before they head back inside. Batista knocks Orton right back to the floor and slams him into the announce table a few times. HHH says show him the Animal so Batista rams Orton spine first into the apron. He gets a chair of his own but Randy pulls on a kendo stick to blast Batista.
Back in again and the spinebuster puts Orton down but the Batista Bomb is countered into the backbreaker. There's the Elevated DDT but Daniel Bryan jumps over the announce table and jumps HHH. Orton goes outside to take out Bryan but gets taken down as well. Randy gets back up and sends Bryan into the steps as Stephanie checks on her “baby”. Batista nails Orton with the spear but Bryan kicks him in the head and hits the knee. FLYING GOAT takes HHH down as everything is going nuts. A bunch of kendo stick shots knock HHH into the ring before Bryan dropkicks Orton off the apron. The match is thrown out at about 8:00.
A huge YES chant erupts as HHH shouts that Bryan is done to end the show.
Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Big E. – Superkick
Summer Rae b. Natalya – Kick to the faceless
Los Matadores/Usos b. Real Americans/Curtis Axel/Ryback – Rollup to Swagger
Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Damien Sandow/Fandango – Final Cut to Sandow
Bray Wyatt b. R-Truth – Sister Abigail
Naomi b. AJ Lee – Pin after the lumberjills beat up AJ on the floor
Kane b. Roman Reigns via DQ when Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins interfered
Randy Orton vs. Batista went to a no contest
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.14, up slightly from last week.
Wednesday
Nothing.
Thursday
Steve Austin will be at Wrestlemania in some fashion.
NXT
Date: April 3, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, William Regal, Byron Saxton
The big story coming into tonight is the injury to Sami Zayn at the hands of Corey Graves. Other than that there isn't much going on in NXT at the moment, but thankfully that's a problem they can solve very quickly. We need a new challenger for Adrian Neville as well. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
Emma vs. Sasha Banks
The Aussie grabs a headlock to start before dropping down next to Sasha who is already on the mat. It's funny you see. A slam gets one on Sasha but Emma misses a charge into the corner. The fans tell Sasha that she's rachet, whatever that means. Thankfully Renee Young speaks Full Sail and tells us that it's not nice. Sasha misses a legdrop and gets caught in the Dilemma followed by the Emma Sandwich. It's hard to not smile at that one. Charlotte gets on the apron for a distraction but Sasha accidentally knocks Emma into her, setting up the Emma Lock for the submission at 3:52. Renee: “GOOD TRUMPS EVIL!”
Video on Mojo Rawley.
John Vandal/Jack Hurley vs. Ascension
Non-title. Viktor runs over Hurley to start and throws him into Vandal to knock both guys to the floor. Back in and it's off to Konor to destroy Vandal with some hard slams. Fans: “ONE MORE TIME!” A running splash crushes Vandal and the Fall of Man is good for the pin at 1:55. Can we get some challengers already?
Tyler Breeze has entered the building.
Xavier Woods vs. Brodus Clay
Brodus has new music and is all thuggish now, which fits him far better than the funk stuff. Xavier hits a quick dropkick to start and kicks Brodus down to the mat. Not that it matters as Brodus pops back up and hits a quick t-bone suplex to take over. Brodus even busts out an old school Heart Punch and another suplex for two. We hit the nerve hold for a few moments before Woods fights back with chops and kicks to the head. A Shining Wizard gets two for Xavier but Clay shrugs it off and drills Woods with a powerbomb (“BETTER THAN BATISTA!”, setting up a middle rope splash for the pin on Woods at 3:09.
Post match Brodus says WWE has taken everything from him but now he's doing the taking. His first target is the NXT Championship.
Adrian Neville says Brodus wants to just come in here and take the title before heading back to WWE. That's not happening around here though because this is the future of wrestling. Brodus has to earn his shot and once he does, Adrian will be right here waiting.
Tyler Breeze vs. Yoshi Tatsu
Breeze is wearing Guatemalan Alpaca boots made by a hunchback hermit. He hammers away on Yoshi to start and kicks him in the back for an early two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Tyler takes his head off with a forearm. The Beauty Shot is good for the pin at 1:43.
Sami Zayn feels fine going into the main event tonight and he's been medically cleared. The only person that has anything to fear tonight is Corey Graves.
Graves tells a story about an underdog going into the woods and getting caught in a bear trap. The wolves came out and devoured him, just like Corey will do to Zayn tonight.
Video on Paige.
Paige says she's coming for Charlotte next because the BFFs stole her moment at Arrival.
Corey Graves vs. Sami Zayn
Graves hides in the ropes to start and then bails to the floor. Sami finally follows him out and hammers away before throwing Graves back inside, only to knock him outside again with a hard clothesline. The big flip dive takes Graves out but he takes over with a hard knee to the head as we take a break. Back with Corey grabbing a chinlock and hammering Sami's head into the corner.
Sami is all shaken as he swings at air and Graves takes him back down into another chinlock. The referee checks on Sami before Graves pounds at his head even more. Off to chinlock #3 which the fans say they love. Zayn gets up again and grabs a rollup for two, only to get caught in a wheelbarrow facebuster. A backbreaker gets two for Graves but he charges into an exploder suplex into the corner.
The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two more and Sami is a bit frustrated. Graves counters the running kick into the corner and they ram heads to put both guys down. Sami tries to go up top but can't get his balance. Regal wants the match stopped and Graves gets in another shot to the head. Lucky 13 goes on and the referee stops it at 15:55 shown of 19:25.
Sami yells at the referee to end the show.
Results
Emma b. Sasha Banks – Emma Lock
Ascension b. John Vandal/Jack Hurley – Fall of Man to Vandal
Brodus Clay b. Xavier Woods – Middle rope splash
Tyler Breeze b. Yoshi Tatsu – Beauty Shot
Corey Graves b. Sami Zayn via referee stoppage
Impact Wrestling
Date: April 3, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
It's a big show this week with a fourway for the World Title as Magnus defends against Eric Young, Samoa Joe and his own employee Abyss. Other than that we also have a tag team tables match between Bully Ray/Willow vs. Ethan Carter III/Bobby Roode as two feuds are combined. Hardy certainly is quick to forgive Ray for that hammer to the head at last year's Lockdown. Let's get to it.
The opening video is your standard recap of the four way for the title.
Bully Ray/Willow vs. Ethan Carter III/Bobby Roode
Tables match. It's a brawl to start with the feuding parties teaming off and the good guys taking an early advantage. Poetry in Motion crushes Roode in the corner and there's a What's Up for Ethan. Ray wants the tables and the fans chant for them as well. Ray throws one in but Roode takes him down with a clothesline while Ethan nails Willow with a dropkick. A double backdrop through the table doesn't quite work as Ray makes the save, only to get forearmed down by Carter.
Hardy makes the same save from a double suplex but takes a Carter clothesline. Carter tries to ram Willow face first into the mat but gets screamed at for his efforts. A cartwheel into a splash sets up the slingshot dropkick and Willow dances a bit. The Twisting Stunner sets up a Twist of Fate but here's Spud in a wheelchair to distract the Swanton.
Ethan is still on the table though so Ray goes up, only to have Roode shove him over the table instead. Roode goes up but Bully grabs a crotch claw of all things before throwing him into Ethan. A big double clothesline drops the heels and there's the Flip Flop and Fly to Bobby. Roode is able to save Ethan from a powerbomb through the table though and catches Ray in a spinebuster through the table for the win at 6:14.
Bobby hits the Roode Bomb to send Ray through another table but he's still not done. A top rope splash puts Ray through another table. Did Willow get shot or something?
Kenny King shows up on a golf cart but is told he doesn't have a match. He tips the production guy anyway.
Magnus says don't worry about Abyss tonight.
MVP is thrilled for the viewers tonight because the card is so awesome. Kenny King comes in and asks why he doesn't have a match but is told to come back later.
Mr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw
This is a straitjacket match which is like a casket match but you know, with a straitjacket instead of a casket. You have to put the other guy in it to win. Before the match Shaw insists that he isn't creepy and talks about his hands making art. The worst crime in society is to be ordinary but Anderson jump Shaw to start on the fight on the floor. Shaw is sent into the steps and Anderson walks around a lot as we go to a break.
Back with Shaw hitting Anderson with the straitjacket and nailing some right hands. Anderson's arms go into the jacket but he fights back with shots to the face and his usual stuff, despite barely being able to use his arms. The rolling fireman's carry puts Shaw down but he low blows his way to freedom. Anderson is taken down by the choke but fights out of another attempt at being put in the jacket. The problem with this match is quickly made obvious: it takes a LONG time to put someone in the jacket so it takes a long time for Shaw to get it on for the win at 9:16.
The Beautiful People say they made Madison and they'll break her tonight, no matter who her mystery partner is.
Eric Young says he made the monster and is scared of what he's become.
We're supposed to start the first match a best of three series for Sanada's X-Division Title but we have an interruption. Before the match Kenny King comes out and says he means no disrespect to his international friends but this should be about him. He's the Pretty Boy Pitbull and he is the X-Division. He was doing stuff that Mil Mascaras was only dreaming of when he was a toddler but MVP breaks things up after that great line. He says King can't mess with his show, which sends King into a rant about how this isn't MVP's show.
King wants to be in the ring but MVP says the card is booked for tonight. He offers King a spot next week but Kenny has another idea: an exhibition match with MVP tonight. MVP says no again but King slaps him in the face. The challenge goes out again and MVP says it's on for tonight.
Sanada vs. Tigre Uno
The match starts after a break with some very fast paced kicks and counters to kicks, including a kick sending Sanada out to the floor. Back in and Tigre cranks on both of the champion's arms until Sanada gets to the corner and takes Uno down, only to miss a standing moonsault. Uno misses a splash in the corner and gets rolled up for a close two count. After a quick run to the floor, Tigre comes back in with a spinwheel kick, only to springboard into a dropkick. Sanada gets crotched on the top rope but gets his knees up to block a split legged moonsault. A tiger suplex is enough to pin Tigre at 3:40.
Magnus says he'll tell us where Abyss has been.
The new Knockout Brittany offers to be Madison's partner tonight in acting reminiscent of a bad Divas segment. Madison turns her down because it's a never ending cycle with the Beautiful People. Brittany won't take no for an answer and Madison eventually gives in.
Magnus calls Abyss to the ring and here's the monster in a suit. The champ says Abyss looks like a winner because of who he's associated with. They need to discuss strategy for the match tonight, which really is a handicap match instead of a four corners match. Magnus says everyone knows what is going to happen tonight because they're a team. He brings up James Mitchell and Eric Young to scare Abyss before giving him a big hug. They go to leave but Eric Young jumps them in the aisle. This goes about as well as you would expect until Joe makes the save. Eric isn't pleased for some reason.
Robbie E comes in to see MVP and says Jesse is injured so the Bro Mans can't defend against the Wolves tonight. Lawsuits are threatened and the title match is off.
We get more of Knux going back to see his dad about shutting down the family carnival. The dad invites him in and says Knux was supposed to take all this stuff over. Knux says his dad always told him to do what he dreamed of but now dad wants him to come back here and keep things going to help a lot of people. Knux agrees to stay for a few days.
Beautiful People vs. Brittany/Madison Rayne
Brittany starts with Love and scores with some early armdrags and a bad looking slam. Off to Velvet who charges into an elbow but trips Brittany to the mat. A double Beautiful Elbow gets two for Angelina as Tenay plugs the Bellator show. The Beautiful People double team Brittany for a bit until she takes Love down and makes the hot tag to Rayne. Brittany tags herself back in for no apparent reason as everything breaks down. A quick double kick from the Beautiful People (called the Makeover) is enough to pin Brittany at 4:03.
Kenny King vs. MVP
This is an exhibition match, which will be explained later I assume. They shake hands to start and MVP puts on a wristlock. King escapes and stands on the buckle for a bit as this is slow paced to start. They trade wristlocks and hammerlocks until King grabs a headlock. MVP trips King down and puts on an STF but lets it go for no apparent reason.
Kenny takes him down again before flipping up to his feet for some posing. We get some chain wrestling on the mat into a front facelock from MVP as the fans chant YOU STILL GOT IT. They finally start throwing punches and it turns into a scrap on the mat until the bell rings for no apparent reason at 5:22.
Magnus asks if Ethan has his back tonight. Carter thinks Magnus is scared of Abyss and doesn't answer.
MVP jumps King in the back.
TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Eric Young vs. Magnus vs. Abyss
This is one fall to a finish and Magnus is defending. Abyss goes after Eric as the champion fires off forearms to Joe against the ropes. Joe comes back with the running backsplash before they head outside. Young slides through Abyss' legs and dropkicks him to the floor before hitting a suicide dive to take out all three guys. Back in and Eric gets two on Magnus via a high cross body. Abyss splashes his boss by mistake, leaving us with Eric vs. Joe. Magnus and Abyss get back into things as we take a break.
Back with Magnus and Abyss in control as the champion directs the monster on who to attack. Abyss rips at Joe's face as Magnus drops Eric with an elbow to the face. The slow heel dominance continues as Brian Hebner runs away from Abyss. Eric is sat on the top rope but Magnus wants to do this one himself. Young fights out of a superplex attempt and knocks Abyss back, setting up a double missile dropkick.
Magnus stops the momentum by throwing Eric out to the floor though, only to have Joe come back and take over. A powerslam gets two on Magnus but Eric makes the save. The same move gets the same result on Young with Abyss making the save. There's a powerslam to Abyss but Joe can't follow up. Instead he grabs the choke on Magnus but the champion grabs the referee and kicks the Samoan low.
The Black Hole Slam puts Joe down and Magnus whips him knees first into the steps. Young bites his way out of a chokeslam but walks into a Black Hole Slam of his own. Abyss doesn't cover though as Magnus tells him no. Magnus slowly explains things to Abyss and drops the elbow on Young to retain the title at 14:13.
Next week: The Wrath of Dixie. Oh joy.
Results
Bobby Roode/Ethan Carter III b. Willow/Jeff Hardy – Spinebuster to Ray through a table
Samuel Shaw b. Mr. Anderson – Shaw put Anderson in the straitjacket
Sanada b. Tigre Uno – Tiger suplex
Beautiful People b. Brittany/Madison Rayne – Makeover to Brittany
MVP vs. Kenny King went to a no contest
Magnus b. Abyss, Eric Young and Samoa Joe – Top rope elbow to Young
Friday
Smackdown
Date: April 4, 2014
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
This is one of those weird shows where everything is about hyping up Wrestlemania. There will be a lot of hype videos and stuff from Axxess plus a few matches taking place in the arena. This is going to be a shorter review than normal as it's all about setting up Sunday rather than anything tonight. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Titus O'Neil
Titus throws Ziggler around to start and drops a big leg for two. The announcers run down most of the people in the battle royal as Titus hooks a chinlock. Back up and Titus runs into a pair of boots to the face followed by a cross body and some right hands from Dolph. Ziggler hammers away in the corner even more and drops Titus with a neckbreaker. Titus avoids the Fameasser and gets two of his own off a big boot. He loads up some backbreakers but Ziggler escapes and nails the Zig Zag for the pin at 4:00.
Andre the Giant video.
Video on HHH dominating everyone he's faced over the last eleven years. I think this is slightly different from the video on Monday.
Speaking of Monday, we also get clips from HHH and Stephanie's promo on Raw, followed by the ending of the show.
We get a sitdown interview with Batista conducted by Booker T. Big Dave talks about coming back to the company and being shocked at everything he's seen. Booker agrees that things have changed and we get clips of Batista ranting about the real men being gone. Daniel Bryan is clearly just the flavor of the month and Batista is going to squash him like a bug at Wrestlemania. The fans are living vicariously through Bryan but Daniel just isn't the real deal. Orton is a big corporate sellout and Batista can't wait to kick his face in. You can guarantee that Batista walks out with the title and he'll be enjoying the boos.
Los Matadores vs. Real Americans
Fernando starts with Swagger as the fans chant WE THE PEOPLE. The masked man tries a headscissors out of the corner but gets sent to the apron. He comes right back with an armdrag and it's quickly off to Cesaro to try his luck. Cesaro gets armdragged as well and a headscissors puts him down again. Diego comes in with a slingshot headscissors of his own and the Real Americans want to caucus. Zeb slaps Cesaro to get his attention and not-Antonio isn't happy.
The slap works as Cesaro comes in with a running dropkick of all things followed by some running European uppercuts in the corner. A release gutwrench suplex sends Diego flying and we take a break. Back with Diego fighting out of a chinlock and taking both Real Americans down with a double DDT. He still can't make a hot tag though as Cesaro slams him down and drops a big elbow for two. Back to Swagger who throws Cesaro onto Diego in the corner, followed by a big running clothesline for two.
Diego avoids a charge in the corner and backdrops Cesaro to the floor. The Patriot Lock doesn't work but Cesaro makes a save, allowing Swagger to hit a belly to belly for two. The Vader Bomb into the double stomp gets the same but Diego sends both Americans to the floor. He FINALLY makes the hot tag to Fernando as things speed up. A running elbow gets two on Cesaro and a top rope cannonball gets the same. Diego sends Swagger to the floor as well but Cesaro kicks him in the face. Fernando dives into the Swing and the Neutralizer is good for the pin at 12:19.
Video on AJ Lee which transitions into a video on the Vickie Invitational.
Video on Cena vs. Bray, including their segment from Raw.
Package on Shield vs. Kane/Outlaws, including a big chunk of Kane vs. Reigns from Raw.
We get a sitdown interview with Orton, again conducted by Booker T. He talks about winning the title back in December and how it means he's the top man in the industry. As for the triple threat, Orton knows HHH a lot better than he knows Bryan, but he also knows HHH is brutal. When they step into the ring together, HHH is just another guy.
Orton took what HHH said about holding his hand as a compliment because HHH called him a technically gifted wrestler. This came off as him not wanting to yell at his boss. We get a quick clip of Occupy Raw and Orton calls him a fad. There's no guarantee that Bryan will make it into the match though so Orton isn't worried.
As for Batista, he's missed four long years and is stuck in the past. Back in the day he would have been an opponent but now he's just a guy. Orton promises to keep the title on Sunday. I liked this more than I thought I would have as it felt like it was more from Orton the person rather than Orton the character.
Video on Brock vs. Undertaker.
Here's Hogan in the arena to close the show. He's glad to be back here in Washington and is pumped up to be the host. Hulk talks about his own great Wrestlemania memories like the main event of Wrestlemania I, Wrestlemania XVIII against The Rock and of course Wrestlemania III against Andre. That match makes the battle royal so important to him and we see the trophy on the screen. Hulk calls it beautiful and asks what we're going to do when it runs wild on YOU and that's the show.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Titus O'Neil – Zig Zag
Real Americans b. Los Matadores – Neutralizer to Fernando