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Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
The Hardys are likely gone from TNA due to not being pleased with their new contract offers.
Monday Night Raw
Date: February 27, 2017
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
It's the go home show for Fastlane and that could mean a few things. This show could range from entertaining to a mess and any point in between. Goldberg will be here tonight and there are rumors of Seth Rollins and Ric Flair making appearances as well. Either way it's the last Raw before we get to the pre-Wrestlemania season so let's get to it.
Here's Goldberg to get things going. He thanks the fans for their chants but gets straight to the point: he's winning the title at Fastlane with his son cheering him on. This brings out Kevin Owens to say what he really thinks about Goldberg. When he got to this company, Owens promised to grab this company by the throat and show WWE what he was really about.
Then he beat John Cena in his first match, followed by beating Dean Ambrose, AJ Styles, Seth Rollins and the Big Dog himself, Roman Reigns. Now why should Goldberg be any different? Goldberg likes the speech and wants to fight right now but Owens doesn't think Green Bay deserves to see him fight. They'll fight on Sunday and the Goldberg chants die.
Here's New Day for a chat. They've got a lot on their plates by hosting Wrestlemania, but we need to be concerned with what's in our bowls. New Day knows the fans want something else and that means ice cream. They even know what the name is going to be: New Day Pops. First though, they need to face the Shining Stars.
Cue Primo and Epico.....but someone hands Woods an envelope. It turns out that the Shining Stars' match is later tonight against Big Show. Instead, the envelope says Rusev and Jinder Mahal. Ok you knew this was coming and there was no real way around it. Ignore the fact that they really just recreated the idea and didn't actually do anything new here. In other words: standard WWE comedy.
New Day vs. Rusev/Jinder Mahal
Woods headscissors Mahal down and we hit the Honor Roll for good measure. Big E. gets in a splash as we take a break. Back with Woods not being able to get over Rusev for the hot tag. The slow beating continues and Woods' crossbody is easily caught. He does manage an enziguri though and there's the hot tag to Big E. Everything breaks down with Big E. cleaning house. A blind tag brings in Woods for a high crossbody but Rusev makes the save. Kofi and Lana get in an argument on the floor to distract Rusev, leaving Woods to grab a rollup for the pin on Mahal at 9:43.
Rusev and Mahal argue post match because the division is deep enough to split a team already.
We look back at Enzo Amore and Big Cass becoming #1 contenders.
Enzo is really fired up about the idea of becoming champions because he gets his name on the belt. Cass thinks he needs to chill a bit but says they'll win.
Cesaro and Sheamus want their titles back when Samoa Joe comes up to say Cesaro will never figure things out. Joe: You mad bro? Cesaro doesn't like the brass ring jokes and says all Joe does is carry HHH's jockstrap. A match seems to be made for later.
Stephanie is annoyed at someone for bad dictation when Mick Foley comes in. She wants to apologize but it turns into rant about how Foley doesn't live up to his old stature. That's how Foley will be remembered: as a shadow of his former self. Much like the Oscar joke, you had to know this was coming: Foley said something to Stephanie last week so tonight she had to burn him at the stake.
We look at Brian Kendrick beating Akira Tozawa last week and Kendrick talks about Tozawa rejecting his offer to be the newcomer's mentor.
Akira Tozawa vs. Noam Dar
Dar gets kicked in the chest to start and the backsplash gets two. A good fake out lets Tozawa nail him again but Alicia Fox offers a distraction. That sets up some arm work but Tozawa sends him outside for a suicide headbutt. Back in and the snap German suplex puts Dar away at 2:59.
Post match Kendrick jumps Tozawa from behind and talks about how Tozawa needs to learn his lessons.
Mick Foley is upset when Samoa Joe comes in and needles him about not having a nice day. Foley doesn't want to hear it because he sees Joe as a puppet for HHH. Joe doesn't like that so Foley makes Joe vs. Cesaro for later tonight.
Charlotte/Dana Brooke vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks
Before the match, Charlotte talks about how Bayley is willing to go to any degree to take what she wanted because she has everyone fooled. Charlotte calls Bayley a one hit wonder but here's Bayley to cut her off. Bayley talks about dreams and moving on from this one. Next up for her is walking into Wrestlemania as Women's Champion but Charlotte says there's a long way to go before then. Sasha Banks comes out to say Charlotte has a stupid face and is jealous of the champ. More importantly, there's a tag match tonight. Charlotte says there is but with a little change in the lineup.
Charlotte/Nia Jax vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks
Nia throws Sasha around to start and runs her over in the corner as a bonus. It's off to Bayley who can't do much with Nia either but some right hands in the corner do enough good. Nia clotheslines Bayley's head off though and the beating begins in the corner. That doesn't last much longer either and it's back to Banks vs. Charlotte with Sasha taking over. Dana tries to interfere on the floor and gets a Bayley to Belly for her efforts. Serves that cheater right.
Back from a break with Sasha trying to fight back against Nia and getting headbutted away. Charlotte misses a charge though and the hot tag brings in Bayley to clean house. Everything breaks down again and Bayley tries a choke on Nia. That goes nowhere though and a Charlotte distraction lets Nia run Bayley over. Nia drops the big leg to pin the champ at 12:20.
Braun Strowman demands Foley give him a contact signing with Roman Reigns tonight. Foley agrees but basically guarantees a fight will break out.
Luke Gallows vs. Big Cass
Gallows kicks him in the face to start and easily breaks out of a chokeslam. Another kick puts Cass on one knee and Corey says he's not seven feet tall anymore. That line is always annoying because he's still that tall but he's not standing upright. Why is that so complicated? Cass makes his comeback and watches Enzo send Anderson into the steps. A big boot ends Gallows at 2:43.
The announcers hype the WWE Network turning three years old.
Earlier today, Titus O'Neil and Sheamus got in a fight at catering.
Titus O'Neil vs. Sheamus
Titus jumps Sheamus before the bell and throws him inside for the official start. The Brogue Kick ends O'Neil in 17 seconds.
We get a long video on the long history of HHH making Seth Rollins. They've been together for years but then Rollins hurt his knee which HHH referred to as dropping the ball. Rollins is injured but the question is can he get back in time.
Here's Rollins, on crutches, for a sitdown interview with Corey Graves. He doesn't know where he is mentally now but it seems that he's in Chicago because we get a freaking CM PUNK chant. Thankfully it's loudly booed and Seth can get back to the point. He's not sure if he can continue at this point and as of right now, the doctors haven't cleared him for Wrestlemania.
This brings out HHH and Samoa Joe with the former talking about how Rollins has no idea what he's doing here. HHH knows Rollins isn't going to Wrestlemania because that's how he is. It was HHH who handed him the title and then Rollins bit the hand that feeds him. Rollins didn't mind reaping the benefits along the way but now he's treating HHH like this. Seth needs to make the right decision and not come to Wrestlemania because HHH is done playing with him.
If Rollins shows up there, it's the last thing he'll ever do in a WWE ring. HHH goes to leave but Seth cuts him off and says he'll be in Orlando and it's going to be the last thing HHH ever does. This dragged a lot and just reenforces the idea that there isn't much of a need to have this match. The match should have happened at Night of Champions or HIAC or something but instead it's at Wrestlemania because that's where HHH wrestles no matter what.
Big Show vs. Shining Stars
Double teaming actually puts Show down for a bit before he shrugs the cousins off. A KO Punch and chokeslam wrap things up at 1:48.
Black History Month video on Martin Luther King Jr.
Neville tells Tony Nese that the purpose of tonight's tag match is to put Jack Gallagher in his place before Sunday. Nese basically says he's in this for himself.
Austin Aries video package.
Jack Gallagher/TJ Perkins vs. Tony Nese/Neville
Neville kicks TJ off the apron at the bell but gets bulldogged by TJ. Cole: You're only going to see this kind of action on Monday Night Raw! Yeah he doesn't watch 205 Live either. Nese gets rolled up for two and it's off to Gallagher as things speed up a bit. The headbutt puts Neville on the floor and it's the Detonation Kick into the running corner dropkick for Nese. Jack takes Nese down with something like a seated abdominal stretch while kicking Nese in the face for the tap out at 1:58. This was more filler on a show full of it.
Beth Phoenix Hall of Fame video. I miss the days when these were announced on Raw and now in a newspaper earlier in the day.
Bayley and Sasha are icing their injuries from earlier. Sasha is going to be in Bayley's corner on Sunday but Stephanie adds Banks vs. Jax to Fastlane.
Samoa Joe vs. Cesaro
They take turns driving each other into the corner and Cesaro tweaks his knee. He tries to muscle through it until Joe goes after the knee to take over as we take a break. Back with Cesaro muscling Joe up into a suplex and countering a kneebar attempt. Cesaro hits that reverse Angle Slam move of his and gets two off a double stomp. Uh, shouldn't he be in a bit more pain after stomping on someone with a bad knee? Joe breaks up the springboard uppercut though and kicks at the knee, setting up the Rock Bottom for the pin at 7:45.
Post match Joe says it doesn't matter who comes against the Destroyer because he's taking them apart. This brings out Sami Zayn for the brawl until the referees break it up.
It's time for the contract signing with Mick Foley running the show. Strowman doesn't think much of him and says he would have respected him back in the day when Foley was competition. Foley finally snaps and yells at Strowman, basically threatening to get physical because he's still a legend, even if he won't be the General Manager that much longer.
Cue Reigns to start the fight, which quickly heads into the crowd. Strowman beats on him even more until Reigns spears him through the barricade and a security guard in the process. Back in and Reigns stops to sign the contract but gets sent into the corner so hard that the top rope breaks. Strowman leaves and Reigns signs to end the show.
Results
New Day b. Rusev/Jinder Mahal Rollup to Mahal
Akira Tozawa b. Noam Dar German suplex
Nia Jax/Charlotte b. Sasha Banks/Bayley Legdrop to Bayley
Big Cass b. Luke Gallows Big boot
Sheamus b. Titus O'Neil Brogue Kick
Big Show b. Shining Stars Chokeslam to Primo
Jack Gallagher/TJ Perkins b. Tony Nese/Neville Seated abdominal stretch to Nese
Samoa Joe b. Cesaro Rock Bottom
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: February 28, 2017
Location: Xcel Energy Center, St. Paul Minnesota
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga. Tom Phillips
It's a stacked card tonight and I assure you that has nothing to do with the President giving a speech to a joint session of Congress at the halfway point of the show. Tonight we have the fallout from AJ Styles and Luke Harper tying in a battle royal, a two out of three falls match between Becky Lynch and Mickie James and Dolph Ziggler vs. Apollo Crews in a chairs match. Let's get to it.
The bosses are in the back watching a clip of the ending of last week's battle royal. AJ comes in and laughs off the idea of having to face Harper tonight because Harper looks like the hair that clogs the shower. Of course Harper is behind him so AJ bails, leaving Harper to thank the bosses.
Opening sequence.
Here are Miz and Maryse to open things up with MizTV. Miz gets right to the point and brings out his guest: John Cena. However he also cuts Cena's mic and rants about how Cena has cost him ten years of misery. Cena spends all his time manipulating everyone he can find and Miz is sick and tired of it. A brief Cena chant cuts things off before Miz says he isn't just the other guy.
Two weeks ago, Miz was primed to main event Wrestlemania but Cena manipulated him out of the spot. The reason being: Cena is jealous of him. A few years back Cena went toe to toe with the Rock and went off about how Rock had gone Hollywood but now with all the movies and TV shows, we can't see Cena. The fans get in a quick YOU SOLD OUT chant as Miz talks about how Cena is a parody of himself. Miz: You're not Super Cena anymore. You're barely decent Cena!
Miz is the one that's here doing the media and making sure Smackdown is must see. Then Cena just comes back and gets a title shot at the Royal Rumble for a spot in the history books. Cena took the glory away from Ric Flair (I'm still waiting on anyone to talk about Flair taking away Harley Race's glory by doubling the amount of title reigns he had. I doubt we'll be getting that though because NO ONE THINKS FLAIR TOOK ANYTHING AWAY FROM RACE, just like Cena took nothing from Flair.) and now it's time for Cena to talk.
John makes the jokes about how he's heard all of this before and held everyone back. Now it's time to prove Miz wrong though. If Cena was really this black arts manipulator, he would be standing toe to toe with the Undertaker. The fans really seem to like that idea but Cena talks about how half of this crowd, and sometimes more than half, is going to be chanting CENA SUCKS.
No matter what they chant though, everyone knows who Cena is. Miz is someone named Mike who shortened his name on the Real World because he thought it would steal Rock's electricity. Then he stole Chris Jericho's gimmick, Ric Flair's Figure Four Leglock (That was a gift!), Daniel Bryan's offense and the same thing that AJ Styles has been saying for the last six months. Miz is just someone playing someone playing someone playing someone else. If you ask any of the greats, they're just themselves with the volume turned WAY up.
That's why so many believe that Miz is where he is: he's a trend hopping shell of a WWE superstar. Cena says the next time they talk, don't bring a knife to a gun fight because Miz isn't the Undertaker. If he presses Cena again though, he's a dead man. Cena goes to leave but Maryse cuts him off and gets in a slap. Cena starts laughing and says that was the biggest mistake of her life. Cue Nikki Bella to chase Miz and Maryse off. Cena kisses Nikki, which I believe is the first time he's ever acknowledged their relationship on TV.
That's the easy frontrunner for promo of the year and is likely going to be one of the favorites in December. However, odds are this ends with Nikki hitting whatever her finish is on Maryse and Cena hitting an AA on Miz for the stereo pins so Nikki can have her big moment, which is the whole point of this nonsense. With Cena going away again, Miz should get his big moment but no, because we need a Total Divas highlight. At least this was great though and more proof that Miz is one of the most underrated talkers ever.
Becky Lynch vs. Mickie James
2/3 falls. They trade arm work to start until Mickie is sent outside and into the barricade as we go to a break. Back with Mickie in control until she misses a legdrop. Not that it matters as the MickieDT gives James the first fall at 7:28. We take a second break and come back with Mickie getting two but missing something off the top, allowing Becky to roll her up and tie the score at 12:50 total.
The Bexploder has Mickie in more trouble but here's Alexa Bliss to watch at ringside. Mickie misses her spinning kick and gets slammed for no count as Alexa has the referee. Bliss gets kicked off the apron and Mickie grabs a rollup, only to be reversed into the Disarm-Her to give Becky the pin at 14:14.
Harper is around the light bulbs and says after tonight, Bray is going to be very afraid.
Bray says may the best man win tonight. Later this evening, the whole world will hear what he has to say but they'll also hear from Randy Orton. Bray is the keeper of the Holy Grail, meaning the championship.
Alexa is in the back and doesn't want to be asked about Becky because she just became the first two time Women's Champion. After some Oscar references, Natalya comes in and says she's taking the title. Bliss' laughing face is rather amusing.
AJ says he'll win.
AJ Styles vs. Luke Harper
The winner goes to the main event of Wrestlemania. AJ speeds things up to start but eats a running dropkick (not a great one but it was fine for Harper) to put him outside. Harper goes after him and gets caught with a Pele, allowing Styles to start in on the knee. That goes nowhere though as Luke elbows him in the jaw and scores with a slingshot hilo of all things. Styles is sent outside for a suicide shove and the Phenomenal Blitz is broken up with a half dragon suplex.
Back from a break with Harper getting two off a sitout powerbomb. AJ pops right back up and hits the Phenomenal Forearm for the pin at 10:50.....but here's Shane McMahon to say not so fast because Harper's foot was on the rope (it clearly was). Harper grabs a rollup for two and they head outside with Harper accidentally superkicking Shane. Back in and the springboard 450 ends Harper at 12:55.
The decision seems to stand.
Nikki and Cena are in the back when Carmella and James Ellsworth come up. Carmella: Are you going to let him talk to me like that? Ellsworth: Well he's standing right there. Carmella thinks the show should be called Total Phonies so a mixed tag is set for next week.
Dean Ambrose vs. Curt Hawkins
Ambrose charges to the ring and hits Dirty Deeds with no bell. No match of course.
Dean talks about rollerblading during happy hour and learning how burrito bowls and roller coasters don't mix. The most important lesson he's learned is that when you're pushed, you have to push back. That's why he wants to fight Baron Corbin right now. Corbin pops up on screen and says he's not going to do that right now. Dean wants him to hurry up because he only has fifteen minutes left on the parking meter. Baron talks about how Dean is just a speed bump and they'll fight soon.
Apollo Crews vs. Dolph Ziggler
Chairs match so there are a bunch of chairs at ringside. Crews jumps him from behind and takes over to start, followed by a moonsault off the apron. We take a break and come back with Crews hitting a clothesline and enziguri. A standing moonsault onto a chair onto Dolph gets two and Ziggler is sent into a chair in the corner. That's fine with Ziggler who gets in a chair shot to the throat, followed by a crotching onto the chair for the pin at 8:53.
Here's Wyatt to talk about the title match. He really didn't care who it was because Wyatt is bringing the evil to Wrestlemania. Wyatt comes from a world of evil and that's where Randy Orton is right now. Orton pops up on screen to say he's been given the keys to the kingdom and that's where is is now.
A few months ago, he said he was going to join the Wyatts but now that he's closer to them, it's time to screw the Family. Orton is in Bray's barn and says Sister Abigail is buried underneath this floor. That means we see a bunch of worms and dirt and Orton is holding a pickaxe. Orton promises to burn Abigail's spirit and take away Bray's power.
The rocking chair next to Orton is swaying with no one in it until he grabs its back....and pulls out a can of gasoline. Orton covers everything with gas and says he's coming for the title at Wrestlemania. He pours more gas into the hold (presumably Abigail's grave) as Bray seems to be near tears. Even more gas is poured out and Orton lights the house on fire. Bray freaks out and breaks down as Orton stares at the camera to end the show.
Results
Becky Lynch b. Mickie James Disarm-Her
AJ Styles b. Luke Harper Springboard splash
Dolph Ziggler b. Apollo Crews Ziggler crotched Crews on a chair
Wednesday
Jack Swagger has asked for and been granted his release from WWE.
NXT
Date: March 1, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson, Tom Phillips
It's the final night of the taping cycle and we've got a big title match to send us out. This time around it's the Authors of Pain defending the Tag Team Titles against the former champions DIY. These teams had a surprisingly good match back at Takeover: San Antonio so maybe they can pull it off again here. Let's get to it.
Preview for tonight's show, including Asuka defending the Women's Title against Peyton Royce.
Opening sequence.
Sean Maluta vs. Patrick Clark
Clark is your latest flamboyant wrestler so Maluta punches him in the face during his opening.....shall we say prancing. Maluta gets two off a Shining Wizard but Clark gets all ticked off and hammers away in the corner. A suplex sets up a chinlock and of course Maluta makes a quick comeback. Clark will have none of that though and hits a bad looking Fameasser for the pin at 2:40. The fans didn't seem impressed though Clark has a really athletic and lanky body which could be used in a better gimmick.
Sanity wants Tye Dillinger to accept his fate and stop drowning in his own choices. Instead of dragging his friends down with him, Tye needs to face Eric Young on his own. Nikki Cross says if he doesn't, the whole world will burn.
Women's Title: Peyton Royce vs. Asuka
Royce won a triple threat last week to earn her shot. Feeling out process to start with Nigel talking about other great female Japanese wrestlers (and managing to plug the Network at the same time). A shoulder just fires Asuka up and she forearms Peyton down. Both of them miss big kicks and it's a standoff.
Back to back hip attacks put Peyton on the floor but she sends Asuka into the steps as we take a break. We come back with Asuka fighting out of a chinlock (as is customary) so Royce starts working on the arm that went into the post. A standing armbar only seems to tick the champ off and a suplex drops Peyton.
Asuka starts striking away but hurts the arm again. Instead it's a Shining Wizard for two on Royce but a spinning kick to the face gets the same on Asuka. That goes nowhere though as Asuka kicks the heck out of Peyton and spins her down into the Asuka Lock to retain the title at 11:20.
Post match Billie Kay comes in for the double team but Ember Moon makes the save. Asuka holds up the title and Ember stares her down. There's Takeover.
We look back at Takeover: San Antonio where Shinsuke Nakamura's knee was injured. Kassius Ohno checked on him in the back.
Here the end of last week's episode with Kassius Ohno saving No Way Jose from Bobby Roode and getting in a fight with Ohno clearing house.
William Regal makes Roode vs. Ohno for the title in two weeks.
Paul Ellering gives the Authors of Pain a pep talk.
Wolfgang is coming.
Shinsuke Nakamura is back next week.
Tag Team Titles: Authors of Pain vs. DIY
DIY is challenging. Akum stares Ciampa down to start but Tommaso isn't the slightest bit intimidated. The double spear through the ropes drops Akum and some double clotheslines put the champs on the floor. Ciampa tries a dive through the ropes but gets sent hard into the post to put him right back down.
Back in and Ciampa gets caught in the wrong corner and runs into a backbreaker for two. Ciampa chops and slaps the heck out of Akum but gets caught in an assisted backbreaker to put him down again. The one sided beating takes us to a break with Ciampa in trouble. Back with Tommaso avoiding a charge and making the hot tag off to Gargano so things can speed up. A suicide dive drops Akum and a springboard moonsault does the same to Razar.
The double strike to the corner drops Akum for two and Ciampa grabs his flip over armbar. Razar makes the save and sends Gargano to the floor. Ciampa gets in a kick though and Gargano comes back in for a double powerbomb out of the corner. Razar saves his partner from the running double strike (which really needs a name) but it's time for the stereo armbars. Cue the Revival for the DQ at 13:25.
Back to back Shatter Machines let the Revival stand tall to end the show. I can't stand them but this better set up a triple threat tag match for the titles at Takeover.
Results
Patrick Clark b. Sean Maluta Fameasser
Asuka b. Peyton Royce Asuka Lock
DIY b. Authors of Pain via DQ when Revival interfered
The Hardys are likely gone from TNA due to not being pleased with their new contract offers.
Monday Night Raw
Date: February 27, 2017
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
It's the go home show for Fastlane and that could mean a few things. This show could range from entertaining to a mess and any point in between. Goldberg will be here tonight and there are rumors of Seth Rollins and Ric Flair making appearances as well. Either way it's the last Raw before we get to the pre-Wrestlemania season so let's get to it.
Here's Goldberg to get things going. He thanks the fans for their chants but gets straight to the point: he's winning the title at Fastlane with his son cheering him on. This brings out Kevin Owens to say what he really thinks about Goldberg. When he got to this company, Owens promised to grab this company by the throat and show WWE what he was really about.
Then he beat John Cena in his first match, followed by beating Dean Ambrose, AJ Styles, Seth Rollins and the Big Dog himself, Roman Reigns. Now why should Goldberg be any different? Goldberg likes the speech and wants to fight right now but Owens doesn't think Green Bay deserves to see him fight. They'll fight on Sunday and the Goldberg chants die.
Here's New Day for a chat. They've got a lot on their plates by hosting Wrestlemania, but we need to be concerned with what's in our bowls. New Day knows the fans want something else and that means ice cream. They even know what the name is going to be: New Day Pops. First though, they need to face the Shining Stars.
Cue Primo and Epico.....but someone hands Woods an envelope. It turns out that the Shining Stars' match is later tonight against Big Show. Instead, the envelope says Rusev and Jinder Mahal. Ok you knew this was coming and there was no real way around it. Ignore the fact that they really just recreated the idea and didn't actually do anything new here. In other words: standard WWE comedy.
New Day vs. Rusev/Jinder Mahal
Woods headscissors Mahal down and we hit the Honor Roll for good measure. Big E. gets in a splash as we take a break. Back with Woods not being able to get over Rusev for the hot tag. The slow beating continues and Woods' crossbody is easily caught. He does manage an enziguri though and there's the hot tag to Big E. Everything breaks down with Big E. cleaning house. A blind tag brings in Woods for a high crossbody but Rusev makes the save. Kofi and Lana get in an argument on the floor to distract Rusev, leaving Woods to grab a rollup for the pin on Mahal at 9:43.
Rusev and Mahal argue post match because the division is deep enough to split a team already.
We look back at Enzo Amore and Big Cass becoming #1 contenders.
Enzo is really fired up about the idea of becoming champions because he gets his name on the belt. Cass thinks he needs to chill a bit but says they'll win.
Cesaro and Sheamus want their titles back when Samoa Joe comes up to say Cesaro will never figure things out. Joe: You mad bro? Cesaro doesn't like the brass ring jokes and says all Joe does is carry HHH's jockstrap. A match seems to be made for later.
Stephanie is annoyed at someone for bad dictation when Mick Foley comes in. She wants to apologize but it turns into rant about how Foley doesn't live up to his old stature. That's how Foley will be remembered: as a shadow of his former self. Much like the Oscar joke, you had to know this was coming: Foley said something to Stephanie last week so tonight she had to burn him at the stake.
We look at Brian Kendrick beating Akira Tozawa last week and Kendrick talks about Tozawa rejecting his offer to be the newcomer's mentor.
Akira Tozawa vs. Noam Dar
Dar gets kicked in the chest to start and the backsplash gets two. A good fake out lets Tozawa nail him again but Alicia Fox offers a distraction. That sets up some arm work but Tozawa sends him outside for a suicide headbutt. Back in and the snap German suplex puts Dar away at 2:59.
Post match Kendrick jumps Tozawa from behind and talks about how Tozawa needs to learn his lessons.
Mick Foley is upset when Samoa Joe comes in and needles him about not having a nice day. Foley doesn't want to hear it because he sees Joe as a puppet for HHH. Joe doesn't like that so Foley makes Joe vs. Cesaro for later tonight.
Charlotte/Dana Brooke vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks
Before the match, Charlotte talks about how Bayley is willing to go to any degree to take what she wanted because she has everyone fooled. Charlotte calls Bayley a one hit wonder but here's Bayley to cut her off. Bayley talks about dreams and moving on from this one. Next up for her is walking into Wrestlemania as Women's Champion but Charlotte says there's a long way to go before then. Sasha Banks comes out to say Charlotte has a stupid face and is jealous of the champ. More importantly, there's a tag match tonight. Charlotte says there is but with a little change in the lineup.
Charlotte/Nia Jax vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks
Nia throws Sasha around to start and runs her over in the corner as a bonus. It's off to Bayley who can't do much with Nia either but some right hands in the corner do enough good. Nia clotheslines Bayley's head off though and the beating begins in the corner. That doesn't last much longer either and it's back to Banks vs. Charlotte with Sasha taking over. Dana tries to interfere on the floor and gets a Bayley to Belly for her efforts. Serves that cheater right.
Back from a break with Sasha trying to fight back against Nia and getting headbutted away. Charlotte misses a charge though and the hot tag brings in Bayley to clean house. Everything breaks down again and Bayley tries a choke on Nia. That goes nowhere though and a Charlotte distraction lets Nia run Bayley over. Nia drops the big leg to pin the champ at 12:20.
Braun Strowman demands Foley give him a contact signing with Roman Reigns tonight. Foley agrees but basically guarantees a fight will break out.
Luke Gallows vs. Big Cass
Gallows kicks him in the face to start and easily breaks out of a chokeslam. Another kick puts Cass on one knee and Corey says he's not seven feet tall anymore. That line is always annoying because he's still that tall but he's not standing upright. Why is that so complicated? Cass makes his comeback and watches Enzo send Anderson into the steps. A big boot ends Gallows at 2:43.
The announcers hype the WWE Network turning three years old.
Earlier today, Titus O'Neil and Sheamus got in a fight at catering.
Titus O'Neil vs. Sheamus
Titus jumps Sheamus before the bell and throws him inside for the official start. The Brogue Kick ends O'Neil in 17 seconds.
We get a long video on the long history of HHH making Seth Rollins. They've been together for years but then Rollins hurt his knee which HHH referred to as dropping the ball. Rollins is injured but the question is can he get back in time.
Here's Rollins, on crutches, for a sitdown interview with Corey Graves. He doesn't know where he is mentally now but it seems that he's in Chicago because we get a freaking CM PUNK chant. Thankfully it's loudly booed and Seth can get back to the point. He's not sure if he can continue at this point and as of right now, the doctors haven't cleared him for Wrestlemania.
This brings out HHH and Samoa Joe with the former talking about how Rollins has no idea what he's doing here. HHH knows Rollins isn't going to Wrestlemania because that's how he is. It was HHH who handed him the title and then Rollins bit the hand that feeds him. Rollins didn't mind reaping the benefits along the way but now he's treating HHH like this. Seth needs to make the right decision and not come to Wrestlemania because HHH is done playing with him.
If Rollins shows up there, it's the last thing he'll ever do in a WWE ring. HHH goes to leave but Seth cuts him off and says he'll be in Orlando and it's going to be the last thing HHH ever does. This dragged a lot and just reenforces the idea that there isn't much of a need to have this match. The match should have happened at Night of Champions or HIAC or something but instead it's at Wrestlemania because that's where HHH wrestles no matter what.
Big Show vs. Shining Stars
Double teaming actually puts Show down for a bit before he shrugs the cousins off. A KO Punch and chokeslam wrap things up at 1:48.
Black History Month video on Martin Luther King Jr.
Neville tells Tony Nese that the purpose of tonight's tag match is to put Jack Gallagher in his place before Sunday. Nese basically says he's in this for himself.
Austin Aries video package.
Jack Gallagher/TJ Perkins vs. Tony Nese/Neville
Neville kicks TJ off the apron at the bell but gets bulldogged by TJ. Cole: You're only going to see this kind of action on Monday Night Raw! Yeah he doesn't watch 205 Live either. Nese gets rolled up for two and it's off to Gallagher as things speed up a bit. The headbutt puts Neville on the floor and it's the Detonation Kick into the running corner dropkick for Nese. Jack takes Nese down with something like a seated abdominal stretch while kicking Nese in the face for the tap out at 1:58. This was more filler on a show full of it.
Beth Phoenix Hall of Fame video. I miss the days when these were announced on Raw and now in a newspaper earlier in the day.
Bayley and Sasha are icing their injuries from earlier. Sasha is going to be in Bayley's corner on Sunday but Stephanie adds Banks vs. Jax to Fastlane.
Samoa Joe vs. Cesaro
They take turns driving each other into the corner and Cesaro tweaks his knee. He tries to muscle through it until Joe goes after the knee to take over as we take a break. Back with Cesaro muscling Joe up into a suplex and countering a kneebar attempt. Cesaro hits that reverse Angle Slam move of his and gets two off a double stomp. Uh, shouldn't he be in a bit more pain after stomping on someone with a bad knee? Joe breaks up the springboard uppercut though and kicks at the knee, setting up the Rock Bottom for the pin at 7:45.
Post match Joe says it doesn't matter who comes against the Destroyer because he's taking them apart. This brings out Sami Zayn for the brawl until the referees break it up.
It's time for the contract signing with Mick Foley running the show. Strowman doesn't think much of him and says he would have respected him back in the day when Foley was competition. Foley finally snaps and yells at Strowman, basically threatening to get physical because he's still a legend, even if he won't be the General Manager that much longer.
Cue Reigns to start the fight, which quickly heads into the crowd. Strowman beats on him even more until Reigns spears him through the barricade and a security guard in the process. Back in and Reigns stops to sign the contract but gets sent into the corner so hard that the top rope breaks. Strowman leaves and Reigns signs to end the show.
Results
New Day b. Rusev/Jinder Mahal Rollup to Mahal
Akira Tozawa b. Noam Dar German suplex
Nia Jax/Charlotte b. Sasha Banks/Bayley Legdrop to Bayley
Big Cass b. Luke Gallows Big boot
Sheamus b. Titus O'Neil Brogue Kick
Big Show b. Shining Stars Chokeslam to Primo
Jack Gallagher/TJ Perkins b. Tony Nese/Neville Seated abdominal stretch to Nese
Samoa Joe b. Cesaro Rock Bottom
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: February 28, 2017
Location: Xcel Energy Center, St. Paul Minnesota
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga. Tom Phillips
It's a stacked card tonight and I assure you that has nothing to do with the President giving a speech to a joint session of Congress at the halfway point of the show. Tonight we have the fallout from AJ Styles and Luke Harper tying in a battle royal, a two out of three falls match between Becky Lynch and Mickie James and Dolph Ziggler vs. Apollo Crews in a chairs match. Let's get to it.
The bosses are in the back watching a clip of the ending of last week's battle royal. AJ comes in and laughs off the idea of having to face Harper tonight because Harper looks like the hair that clogs the shower. Of course Harper is behind him so AJ bails, leaving Harper to thank the bosses.
Opening sequence.
Here are Miz and Maryse to open things up with MizTV. Miz gets right to the point and brings out his guest: John Cena. However he also cuts Cena's mic and rants about how Cena has cost him ten years of misery. Cena spends all his time manipulating everyone he can find and Miz is sick and tired of it. A brief Cena chant cuts things off before Miz says he isn't just the other guy.
Two weeks ago, Miz was primed to main event Wrestlemania but Cena manipulated him out of the spot. The reason being: Cena is jealous of him. A few years back Cena went toe to toe with the Rock and went off about how Rock had gone Hollywood but now with all the movies and TV shows, we can't see Cena. The fans get in a quick YOU SOLD OUT chant as Miz talks about how Cena is a parody of himself. Miz: You're not Super Cena anymore. You're barely decent Cena!
Miz is the one that's here doing the media and making sure Smackdown is must see. Then Cena just comes back and gets a title shot at the Royal Rumble for a spot in the history books. Cena took the glory away from Ric Flair (I'm still waiting on anyone to talk about Flair taking away Harley Race's glory by doubling the amount of title reigns he had. I doubt we'll be getting that though because NO ONE THINKS FLAIR TOOK ANYTHING AWAY FROM RACE, just like Cena took nothing from Flair.) and now it's time for Cena to talk.
John makes the jokes about how he's heard all of this before and held everyone back. Now it's time to prove Miz wrong though. If Cena was really this black arts manipulator, he would be standing toe to toe with the Undertaker. The fans really seem to like that idea but Cena talks about how half of this crowd, and sometimes more than half, is going to be chanting CENA SUCKS.
No matter what they chant though, everyone knows who Cena is. Miz is someone named Mike who shortened his name on the Real World because he thought it would steal Rock's electricity. Then he stole Chris Jericho's gimmick, Ric Flair's Figure Four Leglock (That was a gift!), Daniel Bryan's offense and the same thing that AJ Styles has been saying for the last six months. Miz is just someone playing someone playing someone playing someone else. If you ask any of the greats, they're just themselves with the volume turned WAY up.
That's why so many believe that Miz is where he is: he's a trend hopping shell of a WWE superstar. Cena says the next time they talk, don't bring a knife to a gun fight because Miz isn't the Undertaker. If he presses Cena again though, he's a dead man. Cena goes to leave but Maryse cuts him off and gets in a slap. Cena starts laughing and says that was the biggest mistake of her life. Cue Nikki Bella to chase Miz and Maryse off. Cena kisses Nikki, which I believe is the first time he's ever acknowledged their relationship on TV.
That's the easy frontrunner for promo of the year and is likely going to be one of the favorites in December. However, odds are this ends with Nikki hitting whatever her finish is on Maryse and Cena hitting an AA on Miz for the stereo pins so Nikki can have her big moment, which is the whole point of this nonsense. With Cena going away again, Miz should get his big moment but no, because we need a Total Divas highlight. At least this was great though and more proof that Miz is one of the most underrated talkers ever.
Becky Lynch vs. Mickie James
2/3 falls. They trade arm work to start until Mickie is sent outside and into the barricade as we go to a break. Back with Mickie in control until she misses a legdrop. Not that it matters as the MickieDT gives James the first fall at 7:28. We take a second break and come back with Mickie getting two but missing something off the top, allowing Becky to roll her up and tie the score at 12:50 total.
The Bexploder has Mickie in more trouble but here's Alexa Bliss to watch at ringside. Mickie misses her spinning kick and gets slammed for no count as Alexa has the referee. Bliss gets kicked off the apron and Mickie grabs a rollup, only to be reversed into the Disarm-Her to give Becky the pin at 14:14.
Harper is around the light bulbs and says after tonight, Bray is going to be very afraid.
Bray says may the best man win tonight. Later this evening, the whole world will hear what he has to say but they'll also hear from Randy Orton. Bray is the keeper of the Holy Grail, meaning the championship.
Alexa is in the back and doesn't want to be asked about Becky because she just became the first two time Women's Champion. After some Oscar references, Natalya comes in and says she's taking the title. Bliss' laughing face is rather amusing.
AJ says he'll win.
AJ Styles vs. Luke Harper
The winner goes to the main event of Wrestlemania. AJ speeds things up to start but eats a running dropkick (not a great one but it was fine for Harper) to put him outside. Harper goes after him and gets caught with a Pele, allowing Styles to start in on the knee. That goes nowhere though as Luke elbows him in the jaw and scores with a slingshot hilo of all things. Styles is sent outside for a suicide shove and the Phenomenal Blitz is broken up with a half dragon suplex.
Back from a break with Harper getting two off a sitout powerbomb. AJ pops right back up and hits the Phenomenal Forearm for the pin at 10:50.....but here's Shane McMahon to say not so fast because Harper's foot was on the rope (it clearly was). Harper grabs a rollup for two and they head outside with Harper accidentally superkicking Shane. Back in and the springboard 450 ends Harper at 12:55.
The decision seems to stand.
Nikki and Cena are in the back when Carmella and James Ellsworth come up. Carmella: Are you going to let him talk to me like that? Ellsworth: Well he's standing right there. Carmella thinks the show should be called Total Phonies so a mixed tag is set for next week.
Dean Ambrose vs. Curt Hawkins
Ambrose charges to the ring and hits Dirty Deeds with no bell. No match of course.
Dean talks about rollerblading during happy hour and learning how burrito bowls and roller coasters don't mix. The most important lesson he's learned is that when you're pushed, you have to push back. That's why he wants to fight Baron Corbin right now. Corbin pops up on screen and says he's not going to do that right now. Dean wants him to hurry up because he only has fifteen minutes left on the parking meter. Baron talks about how Dean is just a speed bump and they'll fight soon.
Apollo Crews vs. Dolph Ziggler
Chairs match so there are a bunch of chairs at ringside. Crews jumps him from behind and takes over to start, followed by a moonsault off the apron. We take a break and come back with Crews hitting a clothesline and enziguri. A standing moonsault onto a chair onto Dolph gets two and Ziggler is sent into a chair in the corner. That's fine with Ziggler who gets in a chair shot to the throat, followed by a crotching onto the chair for the pin at 8:53.
Here's Wyatt to talk about the title match. He really didn't care who it was because Wyatt is bringing the evil to Wrestlemania. Wyatt comes from a world of evil and that's where Randy Orton is right now. Orton pops up on screen to say he's been given the keys to the kingdom and that's where is is now.
A few months ago, he said he was going to join the Wyatts but now that he's closer to them, it's time to screw the Family. Orton is in Bray's barn and says Sister Abigail is buried underneath this floor. That means we see a bunch of worms and dirt and Orton is holding a pickaxe. Orton promises to burn Abigail's spirit and take away Bray's power.
The rocking chair next to Orton is swaying with no one in it until he grabs its back....and pulls out a can of gasoline. Orton covers everything with gas and says he's coming for the title at Wrestlemania. He pours more gas into the hold (presumably Abigail's grave) as Bray seems to be near tears. Even more gas is poured out and Orton lights the house on fire. Bray freaks out and breaks down as Orton stares at the camera to end the show.
Results
Becky Lynch b. Mickie James Disarm-Her
AJ Styles b. Luke Harper Springboard splash
Dolph Ziggler b. Apollo Crews Ziggler crotched Crews on a chair
Wednesday
Jack Swagger has asked for and been granted his release from WWE.
NXT
Date: March 1, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson, Tom Phillips
It's the final night of the taping cycle and we've got a big title match to send us out. This time around it's the Authors of Pain defending the Tag Team Titles against the former champions DIY. These teams had a surprisingly good match back at Takeover: San Antonio so maybe they can pull it off again here. Let's get to it.
Preview for tonight's show, including Asuka defending the Women's Title against Peyton Royce.
Opening sequence.
Sean Maluta vs. Patrick Clark
Clark is your latest flamboyant wrestler so Maluta punches him in the face during his opening.....shall we say prancing. Maluta gets two off a Shining Wizard but Clark gets all ticked off and hammers away in the corner. A suplex sets up a chinlock and of course Maluta makes a quick comeback. Clark will have none of that though and hits a bad looking Fameasser for the pin at 2:40. The fans didn't seem impressed though Clark has a really athletic and lanky body which could be used in a better gimmick.
Sanity wants Tye Dillinger to accept his fate and stop drowning in his own choices. Instead of dragging his friends down with him, Tye needs to face Eric Young on his own. Nikki Cross says if he doesn't, the whole world will burn.
Women's Title: Peyton Royce vs. Asuka
Royce won a triple threat last week to earn her shot. Feeling out process to start with Nigel talking about other great female Japanese wrestlers (and managing to plug the Network at the same time). A shoulder just fires Asuka up and she forearms Peyton down. Both of them miss big kicks and it's a standoff.
Back to back hip attacks put Peyton on the floor but she sends Asuka into the steps as we take a break. We come back with Asuka fighting out of a chinlock (as is customary) so Royce starts working on the arm that went into the post. A standing armbar only seems to tick the champ off and a suplex drops Peyton.
Asuka starts striking away but hurts the arm again. Instead it's a Shining Wizard for two on Royce but a spinning kick to the face gets the same on Asuka. That goes nowhere though as Asuka kicks the heck out of Peyton and spins her down into the Asuka Lock to retain the title at 11:20.
Post match Billie Kay comes in for the double team but Ember Moon makes the save. Asuka holds up the title and Ember stares her down. There's Takeover.
We look back at Takeover: San Antonio where Shinsuke Nakamura's knee was injured. Kassius Ohno checked on him in the back.
Here the end of last week's episode with Kassius Ohno saving No Way Jose from Bobby Roode and getting in a fight with Ohno clearing house.
William Regal makes Roode vs. Ohno for the title in two weeks.
Paul Ellering gives the Authors of Pain a pep talk.
Wolfgang is coming.
Shinsuke Nakamura is back next week.
Tag Team Titles: Authors of Pain vs. DIY
DIY is challenging. Akum stares Ciampa down to start but Tommaso isn't the slightest bit intimidated. The double spear through the ropes drops Akum and some double clotheslines put the champs on the floor. Ciampa tries a dive through the ropes but gets sent hard into the post to put him right back down.
Back in and Ciampa gets caught in the wrong corner and runs into a backbreaker for two. Ciampa chops and slaps the heck out of Akum but gets caught in an assisted backbreaker to put him down again. The one sided beating takes us to a break with Ciampa in trouble. Back with Tommaso avoiding a charge and making the hot tag off to Gargano so things can speed up. A suicide dive drops Akum and a springboard moonsault does the same to Razar.
The double strike to the corner drops Akum for two and Ciampa grabs his flip over armbar. Razar makes the save and sends Gargano to the floor. Ciampa gets in a kick though and Gargano comes back in for a double powerbomb out of the corner. Razar saves his partner from the running double strike (which really needs a name) but it's time for the stereo armbars. Cue the Revival for the DQ at 13:25.
Back to back Shatter Machines let the Revival stand tall to end the show. I can't stand them but this better set up a triple threat tag match for the titles at Takeover.
Results
Patrick Clark b. Sean Maluta Fameasser
Asuka b. Peyton Royce Asuka Lock
DIY b. Authors of Pain via DQ when Revival interfered