klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: February 27, 2012
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
The main thing to see tonight is that Rock is back (again). We're scheduled to get his response to Cena's promo from last week. This should be the start of the serious part of their feud as opposed to the stupid comments that Rock has made over the past year which have been based on comedy rather than the desire to see a fight. Let's get to it.
Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk
Nice to see another match getting the proper build. Saving something for PPV? What does that mean? Punk comes out first but Jericho comes out instead of Bryan. He says Punk is one of his favorites but Punk isn't as good as he is. Jericho never had to say he was the best in the world because everyone else said it for him. He talks about how he didn't care what people said backstage because he knew he'd have the best match on the card.
Punk yells at Jericho, talking about how Jericho didn't invent everything in wrestling. Did he invent being from Canada? Jericho says Punk doesn't take anything seriously but he needs to do it with Jericho, because he's something different. Punk goes off on Jericho again, talking about he's been here talking about he knows he's the best and has been here swimming with sharks while Jericho was off Dancing With The Stars. Jericho says he's still the best and while he was off doing all that stuff, all he was thinking about was Punk and proving that he's the best in the world.
Oh yeah we've got a match to get to. Bryan comes out and jumps Punk. Ace, Otunga, Long and Santino are all at ringside. The bell will officially ring after a break. Back with Brian firing off kicks in the corner but Punk hits a cross body out of the corner for two. Teddy and Ace are on commentary here so Cole sucks up to Ace. Punk comes back with knees to the back for two. He backdrops Bryan to the floor and sets to dive, but Bryan calls AJ over to tend to him.
The distraction lets Bryan take Punk's knee out and send him into the steps. We take another break (pretty fast no?) and come back with Bryan holding an abdominal stretch. We missed the ending from last week with Punk almost winning off a superplex with the interlocking legs. Punk hits the knee in the corner but he bulldog is countered. He slams Bryan down and hits the top rope elbow but his ribs are too hurt to cover.
Otunga tries to interfere but Punk kicks him down. LeBell Lock is countered and Otunga gets up again. The wrestlers hit stereo cross bodies as Santino knocks Otunga down. Ace pulls Santino down as Bryan is walking out. Sheamus throws him back in and Punk hits the GTS. Ace says that's a DQ and the bell rings at 10:20.
Punk poses on the stage when Jericho runs out and beats him up. He slams Punk on the stage and puts him in the Liontamer.
We get a video on HHH vs. Undertaker from last year with testimonials from big names and The Miz saying how amazing it was. IT WASN'T THAT GOOD!
Kelly Kelly vs. Nikki Bella
Nikki slams her into the mat to start and does a Hennig neck snap. Kelly does her screaming headscissors and kicks the other Bella down. She reverses a rollup to pin Nikki at 1:30. Your usual Divas stuff.
John Cena vs. The Miz
Miz says that no one works harder than he does and how he's flown 16 hours to do PR in Russia. For some reason though he isn't even on the card for Wrestlemania yet. What better way to show why he should be on it than by beating the guy that he beat in the main event last year? Miz escapes a quick AA attempt and hits his usual stuff to take over. Cena hits a backdrop and some clotheslines but walks into Miz's short DDT for two. The corner clothesline hits and Miz goes up, but misses his top rope ax handle. Cena starts up his finishing sequence and hits the Shuffle. AA and STF end this at 4:04.
Rock pops up on screen and does the You Can't See Me sign.
Tag Titles: Epico/Primo vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler
Ok then. This is actually more like the WCW Triangle matches where you have three people in the ring at once. You can only tag your partner though. Kofi, Dolph and Primo start us off but Ziggler chills on the floor. Things break down quickly and now there's no one in the ring. Kofi and Swagger fall to the floor and we take a break.
Back with Primo, Swagger and Truth in the ring and Swagger breaking up a Truth sunset flip. Swagger and Primo get in an argument and it's off to Ziggler. A great dropkick by Ziggler puts Truth down but Primo tries to steal the pin. Truth comes back and hits a combination Downward Spiral/DDT to both guys. A double tag prevents the tag to Kofi but Swagger gets in a fight with Epico, allowing the hot tag to Kofi.
He cleans house with his high flying stuff and gets two off the cross body. A double Boom Drop to one of each opponents but Ziggler hits the Zig Zag to break up the Trouble in Paradise. Swagger gets two off that and then grabs the ankle lock on Epico. Trouble in Paradise takes Swagger down and Primo hits a Backstabber on Kofi, allowing Epico to steal the pin to retain at 8:21.
Post match Kane comes out to clear the ring and beat up everyone in sight.
Ace and Otunga are in the back talking about the Oscars when Teddy comes in. Nothing to see here.
We recap the Eve heel turn and her wanting to use Cena.
Here's Eve in the arena with new EVIL music. She says she doesn't care that she uses people because it's not her fault that men can't resist her. The men should blame themselves for their weaknesses. And that's it.
We see Eve in the back and Kelly messes up the whole thing with her awful acting. Alicia is next to Kelly for no apparent reason. Eve leaves them there.
Trailer for Edge's new movie. Oh great. It's a buddy comedy.
Orton is back on Smackdown to face Bryan.
Big Show/Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes/Mark Henry
Henry isn't allowed time off to heal is he? Cody shows us a clip from Mania where Show lost to Floyd Mayweather. Cody immediately tags Henry in and Show stomps him down to start. Show spears him down and glares at Cody who is on the ramp. Sheamus tags himself in and Brogue Kicks Henry down for the pin at 59 seconds.
The Board of Directors are going to announce something at 10am tomorrow and it might involve potential leadership changes on both shows.
We get a recap of Cena's promo last week and Rock is up next.
Shawn will be on Raw next week.
Here's Rock for the big response. The fans chant for him and he seems legit taken back by it. Rock says look at his arm which is real. He's covered in goosebumps because this feels good. He says this might surprise some people, but he's not here every week. Him saying he'd never leave didn't mean that he'd be at Raw and Smackdown every week. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles.
Rock says he was born and raised in this business and is here for no reason other than because he loves the WWE. He'll always be a part of it and it'll always be a part of him. He finally says Cena's name and the people boo. For years, Rock thought Cena was a phony. He didn't think that someone who graduated from a private school could become the Doctor of Thuganomics. But then Rock realized that Cena really is that guy.
Cena said that it took forever to get to Rock but why, when he has Rock's cell phone number. Instead of talking on the phone or in person though, Rock would rather slap him in the face with a piece of kung pow chicken. Last week Cena said that he'll fight at Wrestlemania for all of the people in the back that love to be a professional wrestler. Rock grew up as one and he was always taught that no one was going to fight for himself but himself.
When he was climbing the ladders (he climbed ladders?) do you think anyone fought for him? Do you think anyone fought for Austin, Savage or Piper? Rock fights for the people, not the boys in the back. He says kung pow is now trending world wide. That made my eyes roll. Rock says the people aren't tired of being entertained. That's what he does: he entertains.
Rock says he mentioned Cena eating Fruity Pebbles and then a few months later, Cena was on a cereal box. He said lady parts and it was chanted. Now Rock leads them in chants of Rocky and lady parts. That's what Rock does: he entertains. The most interesting thing Cena has done all year is change the kind of shorts he wears to camouflage. That's been effective because we can't find his balls anywhere. And cue Rock telling us that Cena's missing balls is trending.
Cue Cena thank goodness. Cena says that only Rock could come up with calling someone kung pow chicken. He is the guy that talks Rock down because Rock isn't here. However, Rock is only half right because Cena will run Rock down when Rock is here too. Cena used to love Rock too until he met Dwayne Johnson. Dwayne is self-centered and egotistical and Cena doesn't need words trending on Twitter, or his promo printed on his wrist (which Rock apparently had).
At Wrestlemania, Cena is going to be looking into the eyes of Dwayne Johnson, not The Rock like everyone else will see. Cena says carry on and continue trending and leaves. Rock says that's just like Cena to walk away before the right. Rock and Dwayne Johnson are the same person and he'll be kicking Cena all over Wrestlemania, if you smell what he's cooking. Rock sounded REALLY desperate after Cena left.
Results
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Kelly Kelly b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
John Cena b. The Miz – STF
Epico/Primo b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Epico pinned Swagger after Trouble in Paradise
Sheamus/Big Show b. Mark Henry/Cody Rhodes – Brogue Kick to Henry
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.1, which is probably due to the Daytona 500 being in prime time.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: February 29, 2012
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal
It's the one year anniversary show, despite the season not being on the air for a year yet but again, counting is probably too complicated for WWE. Striker has promised us a major announcement tonight which probably won't wind up meaning much of anything because this is NXT, the land of crushed and broken dreams. Let's get to it.
Alex Riley/Percy Watson vs. Darren Young/Titus O'Neil
Titus starts with Riley and the beating begins. Riley gets in a dropkick and it's off to Young. Alex takes him down but goes up and is kicked down to give Young the advantage. Things slow down a lot with Titus taking over and saying that he has five. Riley tries to dive for a tag but Titus carries him back to the corner to bring in Young again.
Atomic drop gets two and it's off to a chinlock with a body scissors. Riley manages to get a kick into the face of a bent over Young and tags in Watson. Watson speeds things up and hits the Heisman Splash for two. Watson goes after Titus though and walks into the double knee gutbuster from Young for the pin at 5:46.
Titus says Percy gets his rematch next week.
Back from a break and we have Alicia, Kaitlyn and Justin Gabriel in the ring in chairs. It's supposed to be Bateman vs. Slater at this point. Apparently this is an intervention. Oh dear. They're intervening about 5'5 of pure evil. Bateman: “You mean Trent Barretta?” They talk about how crazy Maxine is and how she beats up random rew members and makes everyone miserable. Kaitlyn set this up. This is being booed out of the building.
We get a highlight package of Maxine and Bateman's relationship, including the whole engagement and the Johnny Curtis stuff. Bateman says she's a lot better at home and he doesn't want to die alone. Kaitlyn says that constantly getting slapped in the face is weird, not love. He asks Kaitlyn what love is then, so she bends him back and kisses him. Maxine runs out and gets in a fight with Kaitlyn which is quickly broken up. Maxine beats on Bateman and the girls are in the main event tonight.
Tyson and Natalya run into each other in the back. McGillicutty comes up and says something smells around here but it's not Natalya. They're up next.
Michael McGillicutty vs. Tyson Kidd
They go tot he mat and Michael controls with a quick headlock. Regal talks about Tiger Mask as Tyson hooks a hammerlock. Michael works on the wrist but Kidd reverses into a cradle for two. McGillicutty sends him into the corner and out to the floor for the first big advantage. Off to a chinlock with McGillicutty having a way too excited look on his face. Back up and Kidd gets up a boot in the corner and they clothesline each other.
Kidd starts firing off some hard strikes and a jumping spin kick gets two. Rolling cradle gets two. Kidd goes up but gets crotched. He knocks McGillicutty off and hits a moonsault press for two. Kidd loads up the Sharpshooter but McGillicutty kicks him away and the McGillicutter gets the pin at 6:22. McGillicutty's face looks like it belongs in a Will Ferrell movie.
Raw ReBound is about Rock and Cena of course.
Maxine is freaking out in the back and runs into Aksana. Maxine says everyone is plotting against her and she thinks even Aksana is in on it. Anyone that crosses Maxine will regret it.
Striker is in the ring for his major announcement, drawing a Regal chant. He talks about all the ring announcers and commentators and the thirty new superstars they've added. He does know that NXT has been around two years and that this season has been a year right? However there's only been one host. He's got this job because he loves this stuff. NXT was supposed to be about exposing the unseen because the guys in that locker room are carrying the business into the future. Yep the business is dead.
Anyway, lately NXT has been missing its point and that's because of Striker. Tonight that changes....and here are Hawkins and Reks to interrupt. They have a surprise for Striker and they pull out chairs and drinks because they want to see this. Striker finally yells at Curt to shut up. He tells Hawkins to come try him if he wants to. Someone with veteran experience needs to take over. Someone that has worked his entire career so that Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks can be called wrestlers. Striker will still be host but the matchmaker is now Sir William Regal.
Regal gets in the ring and says that there are going to be some new people coming to NXT to face Hawkins and Reks. As for them, why are they wearing sunglasses inside? This is the beginning of the new NXT and their first surprise is next week.
Kaitlyn vs. Maxine
Bateman and Curtis are on commentary for this. Curtis rubs lotion on his chest. He says that Maxine is in his back pocket for whenever he wants to pull her out. Brawl to start and Regal says he's very open to bribes. Kaitlyn books a body scissors for a bit but Maxine takes over with basic stuff. A running double ax gets two. Maxine beats on her a little more until Kaitlyn hits a Bubba Bomb and a rollup for the pin at 3:21.
Maxine gets in Regal's face and says she looks forward to working closely with him.
Results
Darren Young/Titus O'Neil b. Alex Riley/Percy Watson – Double Knee Gutbuster To Watson
Michael McGillicutty b. Tyson Kidd – McGillicutter
Kaitlyn b. Maxine – Bubba Bomb
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: March 1, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
We're getting closer to Victory Road but we have three Impacts to get through first. That PPV is really just a stop on the road to Lockdown though as the main event may not even be for the title. It needs to happen though so we can get through the Sting vs. Roode issues because until that match happens, that feud is going to overshadow the Storm vs. Roode match at Lockdown. Let's get to it.
Little warning here: I've been sick all week and I'm on some strong medicine so this might be a little weaker than usual.
We open with a recap of the end of the show from last week with Sting going insane on Roode.
Angle has a list of cue cards as to why he hates Jeff Hardy and why he attacked him.
We get a theme song. That hasn't happened in how long?
Here's Angle to explain why he attacked Jeff Hardy. He has cue cards. First of all, Jeff has hair. It's rainbow colored but that doesn't make him a champion. Number two: the way Jeff dresses. Third, fans want Jeff's autograph more than Angle's. Fourth: girls like Jeff more than him.
The biggest reason though: he has over 100 different action figures, posters and t-shirts. At night though, he sees Jeff Hardy posters in his son's room and steps on Jeff Hardy action figures. His son wears Jeff Hardy t-shirts and he has makeup on with purple hair, “and he wears freaking socks on his arms.” Kurt's face when he said that last line made me laugh. Jeff comes out and Angle challenges him to a match at Victory Road. Hardy jumps him and has to be pulled off.
Roode complains about Sting a bit when Austin Aries came up. He talks about how he tweeted his issues with Sting and compares himself to Roode. Roode seems to be accepting of this and asks if Aries has five minutes to talk. They go for a chat.
AJ Styles vs. Kazarian/Christopher Daniels
This is a gauntlet match and AJ starts with Daniels. AJ says if he wins, he wants to know what Daniels has over Kaz. Daniels says that they don't have to listen to AJ but then he changes his mind quickly and says yes. AJ goes after Daniels and hammers away to start. Back inside and AJ takes him down with a clothesline. Some suplexes set up a backbreaker for two. AJ has to keep yelling at Kaz as we take a break.
Back with AJ coming back from something with elbows into the ribs. He tries to float over coming out of the corner but walks into an elbow for two. AJ comes back and hits the springboard forearm for no cover. He loads up the Clash but Daniels avoids it. An STO puts AJ down....and Kaz comes in to hit AJ with the Fade to Black. That's a DQ loss for Daniels but Kaz immediately pins him to win it at 9:48. Smart.
Madison sucks up to Gail in the back. Gail has gotten them a spa day this weekend, but first Madison has to beat ODB.
ODB vs. Madison Rayne
ODB controls to start with the power game. Madison is in blue here, making her more gorgeous than usual. Madison gets in some offense but it's nothing all that great. ODB comes back again to beat her down as Eric takes his shirt off. The Bam is countered as Gail brings in a belt. It doesn't happen though as The Bam gets the pin at 2:58.
Ray rants about last week when Roode comes up and says that was funny. Aries is with Roode and they convince Ray that it's Sting's fault that Brandon Jacobs was here. They recruit Roode who seems to accept their offer.
Velvet gets in a fight with Angelina.
Garrett gets into it with Flair, Gunner and Eric. A challenge is made for next week for Garrett to show up or not.
Here are Aries, Roode and Ray. Roode says he's awesome but Sting isn't an active wrestler anymore. You don't put your hands on the champ and at Victory Road it's going to be a beating. Ray says he has great calves. He blames Storm for things but says its all Sting's fault. It was Sting that let Brandon Jacobs comes in and put him through a table. It was Sting that caused him the embarrassment. Aries says Sting is one of those people that can't let it go because the three of them are better than him. He wants to know why he's not in a main event. They all say they're done and sit down in the ring.
The lights go out and Sting is in the ring too, freaking all three of them out. He wants to have a chat with them. Aries says he really is done but Roode doesn't like the idea of losing his title if he's really done. The same is true of the X Title. As for Ray, he'll get his finger bitten off if it goes in Sting's face again. No job means no paycheck so they'll all stick around. The main event is a six man with these three against Storm/Magnus/Joe. The lights go out and Sting is gone.
Video on Sorensen's recovery.
Ion says he'll break more necks if he has to.
Zema Ion vs. Shannon Moore
Moore controls with speed to start and they head to the floor. Ion hits a clothesline to take over, followed by a missile dropkick back inside. A neckbreaker gets two and Ion goes up. Whatever he's going to try is countered by a top rope rana by Moore which gets two. Moonsault press misses and Ion hits his belly to back flip into the facebuster for the pin at 3:30.
Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs. Sarita/Angelina Love
Velvet goes after Angelina to start as we hear about Madonna and the founder of Girls Gone Wild feuding. Mickie comes in and snaps off a rana for two. Out to the floor where Sarita hits a nice dive. Mickie gets beaten down for awhile until she manages to hang Angelina over the top and makes the tag to Velvet. Everything breaks down and the top rope Thesz Press takes Mickie and Sarita to the floor. Velvet wins with her sitout Pedigree to Angelina at 5:51.
Storm/Crimson/Joe say they're ready.
We look back at Abyss disappearing at Genesis. His family hasn't seen him since.
Bully Ray/Robert Roode/Austin Aries vs. Magnus/Samoa Joe/James Storm
So Joe is a face again? I'll have to keep that in mind when it gets confusing again in a few weeks. Magnus and Aries start things off. Aries takes him to the mat quickly but can't reach up high enough for a test of strength. He cartwheels away from Magnus so Magnus takes his head off with a clothesline. Off to Roode and Storm wants in. Storm comes in and Roode runs as we take a break.
Back with Ray hammering on Storm in the corner. The announcers talk about Kobe Bryant having a concussion. The commentary is being recorded later now so they can be more up to date. As long as it doesn't turn into a bunch of pop culture references that's a good idea. Anyway Joe gets the tag and the big men go at it. Joe takes over and suplexes Aries too.
Magnus comes in and the tag champs speed things up. Roode and Storm come in again and the champ runs one more time. Aries gets beaten on instead as Joe does the always cool walk away to avoid contact. He loads up the MuscleBuster but Roode makes the save. Ray comes in to beat on Joe as he somehow plays Ricky Morton. Talk about miscasting. Taz talks about the Knockouts so Tenay yells at him.
The triple beating continues with Roode hitting a Hennig necksnap and Aries hitting a modified elbow to the back. Aries rams Joe's head into Ray's calves which doesn't do much. All three heels take turns on Joe but Roode runs into a release Rock Bottom in the corner and there's the tag to Storm. House is cleaned until ray gets in some offense on him. Everything breaks down and the tag champs hit their finisher on Aries. A lot of finishers are hit and the Last Call gets the pin on Roode at 16:50.
Ray beats down everyone to close the show, saying he's the real #1 contender.
Results
Kazarian/Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles – Fade To Black
ODB b. Madison Raine – The Bam
Zema Ion b. Shannon Moore – Flipping Facebuster
Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Sarita – Sitout Facebuster to Love
James Storm/Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode/Bully Ray – Last Call to Roode
Friday
Impact got a 1.0, the lowest number of the year.
Smackdown
Date: March 2, 2012
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T
Orton is back tonight and he's facing Daniel Bryan after Bryan gave him the concussion that put him out. I don't remember if I ever heard how legit that injury was. Anyway, that's the main event and it should be good, but I'd be shocked if we got a clean finish to it. Expect more of the Bryan vs. Sheamus build as well as some more Ace vs. Long stuff. Let's get to it.
We open with what looks more like a commercial for the show than an opening video. It's about the main event.
Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is bronchitis.
Here's Sheamus to open the show. He says he's thinking about Wrestlemania and being in front of over 80,000 members of the WWE Universe. FANS. THEY'RE CALLED FANS. When did that become a dirty word? I know “Members of the WWE Universe” has been their term for it for years now, but why is fans such a bad thing to say? Anyway he can't wait to face Bryan. Bryan has become a changed man since he won the title, just like Sheamus did two years ago.
When Sheamus won his first world title, he became wrapped up in his own ego. However, he was lucky. He should have known that the WWE Title was the greatest trophy he could have earned. He became a bully instead though. You mean like he was before he won the title? What Sheamus needed was for someone to knock his block off. Bryan needs the same thing.
This brings out Vickie and Dolph for some reason. She liked his story but her favorite part was when Sheamus stopped talking. Ziggler says the people deserve to see him in the main event, not Sheamus. He says Sheamus' hair is on fire. Sheamus says that joke is as old as Dolph's grandmother Vickie. For some reason this leads to Vickie talking about Ace/Teddy and saying she's the only non-McMahon to be GM of both shows. Teddy comes out and makes Dolph vs. Sheamus right now. I liked Sheamus' promo here. He's not the best talker in the world so keeping it simple is something that works well for him.
Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler
The match is joined in progress after a break but it doesn't look like we've missed much. There was an ad talking about how Ace will run Smackdown next week so the announcers talk about that for awhile. Ziggler hits a dropkick but Sheamus keeps smiling. Sheamus comes back with forearms to the back and the ten in the ropes. The fans clearly really like Sheamus but they've given him no character development at all. It's a lost art in WWE anymore.
Ziggler goes to the floor. Booker says stay on your bicycle Dolph. There's an image for you, complete with Benny Hill music. Ziggler grabs a neckbreaker coming back in to take over. Another neckbreaker gets two so Dolph drops some elbows for the same result. Sheamus fights out of a chinlock and hits his power shots to come back. Powerslam gets two. Ziggler locks on a sleeper but Sheamus powers out of it by ramming Ziggler into the corner and out to the floor.
Dolph comes off the top but jumps into the Irish Curse. It gets two as Vickie puts the foot on the ropes. Sheamus loads up the Celtic Cross (Sheamus', not Finlay's). Irish Curse The Sequel gets two. Sheamus pounds his chest and shouts Brogue so Vickie calls out Swagger. The Kick takes him down but Ziggler hits a Fameasser. That only gets two so he tries the Zig Zag. Sheamus holds the ropes and catches Ziggler in the new finisher which is now called the White Noise.
We recap the Bryan vs. Punk stuff from Raw with the Battling Bosses.
Ace and Otunga are in Teddy's office when Teddy comes in. Ace wants an apology for the attack by Teddy on Raw. Apparently Ace has a bad back now and its because of Teddy. Otunga is considering a civil suit against Teddy. Ace says an apology will do instead. Teddy says no because it made Ace look like “a cow on ice crossed with Sesame Street Big Bird.” Otunga vs. Khali on Monday. Ace suggests Teddy try yoga.
Heath Slater vs. Santino Marella
Santino attacks to start but the headbutt lands on knees. The announcers talk about Ace and Teddy. Cole: “See how tough he is?” Booker: “He used to have a skateboard. That's how tough he is.” Anyway, Slater hits a Harlem Side Kick for two. He goes up but gets crotched and the Cobra ends it at 1:53.
Video on HHH vs. Undertaker, the same from Raw. The match simply isn't as good as they're trying to make it out to be. It's very good. It's a great match. It's not this masterpiece that they're pushing it as.
Natalya yells at Eve about Zach. Eve goes off on her about it and guess what Natalya winds up doing. You either want the Divas to be serious or you don't. Pick one.
Natalya vs. Eve Torres
Natalya controls with a headlock and Booker has a thing for Eve. Now Booker diagnoses Natalya's stomach issues. Eve slaps her so Natalya takes her down and pounds on her. Eve reverses a rollup into one of her own for the pin at 1:32.
Here's Cody who has held the title for a very long time. If my math is right, if he holds the title until April 10, he'll have held if for the longest reign since Rock's in 97/98. Cody talks about Big Show's Wrestlemania losses and shows some stills from the Akebono and Mayweather matches. Cody says Show should be thanking him for keeping Show out of Wrestlemania because Show would just floudner again. He's got another Wrestlemania clip but Show cuts him off.
Cody runs into the crowd as soon as Show gets to the ring. Show says hang on a second. He wanted to watch the new clip with Cody like friends. Since Cody won't come back though, Show better go get Cody. Cue Teddy who says hang on a minute. This isn't Pamplona, Spain and Show can't be running into the crowd like a bull. Show vs. Cody for the title is announced for Wrestlemania. That's the second time the IC Title will be on the line at Mania since 2002.
Big Show vs. Mark Henry
Show takes him down to start but Henry fights back and clotheslines Show to the floor. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate as Show is sent into the timekeeper's area. He gets back to the apron at 8 but Henry rams him into the exposed buckle as we take a break. Back with Henry pounding him down and Cody on commentary. Back to the floor and Henry rams Show's back into the post.
With Show still against the post, Mark throws the steps at him. Since that would result in probable death, Show moves. Henry knocks him down again and hits a Vader Bomb for two. Show hits a superkick and a “spear” (it was a shoulder block) to take Henry down. Show sets for the chokeslam but gets caught in the Slam for two. So long Henry, hope you enjoyed your time in the main event. Henry charges into the corner but walks into the WMD for the pin at 5:22 shown of 8:52.
Teddy tells Drew if he loses he's fired. Again.
Orton says he's back to normal, which means angry and wanting revenge. Bryan decided to pay the price and tonight Orton is going to collect.
Drew McIntyre vs. Justin Gabriel
Drew starts by blocking a kick and getting a clothesline for two. Another spin kick misses and Drew hits a big boot for two. Into the corner but Drew's tilt-a-whirl slam is countered into a DDT. Gabriel goes up and hits the 450 for the pin at 1:44. Justin hit two moves the whole match.
Teddy pops up on screen and fires Drew. At least until next week when Ace rehires him because he sees a lot of potential in him or something. They mentioned that Ace discovered Drew and brought him to WWE in the first place during the match.
We get ALL of Rock and Cena from Monday. The version I watch is divided into 6 fifteen minute parts. I literally skipped all of part 5 because of this. There was NOTHING in there they could clip?
Daniel Bryan says he hasn't changed since he won the title. He's still the same down to Earth person who was born and raised in Aberdeen, Washington. However he moved to Vegas as soon as possible. He calls himself a role model and talks about how he beat Giant and Henry in a cage and five others in the Elimination Chamber.
Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton
The fans are split on Bryan. Orton sends him to the floor quickly and throws Bryan into things. He sends Bryan into the steps and kicks Bryan's head into them. Back in Orton loads up a superplex but Bryan shoves him off and takes over. Knee to the head gets two as we take a break. Back with Bryan working over the arm and shoulder. Booker says that he'll never call Bryan D-Bry again. Bryan stays on the shoulder but Orton hits a dropkick to get some seperation.
Booker runs down AJ now, calling Bryan her meal ticket. Is AJ really a heel, or does she just associate with one? I'm not exactly sure. The dropkick gets two. Bryan kicks him in the shoulder so Orton throws him into the Elevated DDT. RKO is countered twice and Bryan heads to the floor. Orton follows him and loads up the Elevated DDT on the floor....but here's Kane. Didn't see that one coming. The bell rings, presumably for a countout since Kane hasn't touched anyone, at 6:30 shown of 10:00.
Orton goes straight at Kane for no apparent reason. Kane might have been coming to ask Booker if he wanted to buy some Girl Scout cookies. They go into the ring but Kane is clotheslined to the floor. He pulls Orton out and they brawl on the floor for a bit. Back inside and Orton's shoulder goes into the post. A chokeslam puts Randy down and Kane wants a mic. He says welcome back Randy and that's it.
Ace says it's Kane vs. Aksana next week.
Results
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – White Noise
Santino Marella b. Heath Slater – Cobra
Eve Torres b. Natalya – Rollup
Justin Gabriel b. Drew McIntyre – 450 Splash
Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton went to a double countout
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Something for a change: Alberto Del Rio wrestled at a house show last night so he's healthy again.
Quick Results
Raw
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Kelly Kelly b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
John Cena b. The Miz – STF
Epico/Primo b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Epico pinned Swagger after Trouble in Paradise
Sheamus/Big Show b. Mark Henry/Cody Rhodes – Brogue Kick to Henry
NXT
Darren Young/Titus O'Neil b. Alex Riley/Percy Watson – Double Knee Gutbuster To Watson
Michael McGillicutty b. Tyson Kidd – McGillicutter
Kaitlyn b. Maxine – Bubba Bomb
Impact Wrestling
Kazarian/Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles – Fade To Black
ODB b. Madison Raine – The Bam
Zema Ion b. Shannon Moore – Flipping Facebuster
Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Sarita – Sitout Facebuster to Love
James Storm/Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode/Bully Ray – Last Call to Roode
Smackdown
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – White Noise
Santino Marella b. Heath Slater – Cobra
Eve Torres b. Natalya – Rollup
Justin Gabriel b. Drew McIntyre – 450 Splash
Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton went to a double countout
Monday Night Raw
Date: February 27, 2012
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
The main thing to see tonight is that Rock is back (again). We're scheduled to get his response to Cena's promo from last week. This should be the start of the serious part of their feud as opposed to the stupid comments that Rock has made over the past year which have been based on comedy rather than the desire to see a fight. Let's get to it.
Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk
Nice to see another match getting the proper build. Saving something for PPV? What does that mean? Punk comes out first but Jericho comes out instead of Bryan. He says Punk is one of his favorites but Punk isn't as good as he is. Jericho never had to say he was the best in the world because everyone else said it for him. He talks about how he didn't care what people said backstage because he knew he'd have the best match on the card.
Punk yells at Jericho, talking about how Jericho didn't invent everything in wrestling. Did he invent being from Canada? Jericho says Punk doesn't take anything seriously but he needs to do it with Jericho, because he's something different. Punk goes off on Jericho again, talking about he's been here talking about he knows he's the best and has been here swimming with sharks while Jericho was off Dancing With The Stars. Jericho says he's still the best and while he was off doing all that stuff, all he was thinking about was Punk and proving that he's the best in the world.
Oh yeah we've got a match to get to. Bryan comes out and jumps Punk. Ace, Otunga, Long and Santino are all at ringside. The bell will officially ring after a break. Back with Brian firing off kicks in the corner but Punk hits a cross body out of the corner for two. Teddy and Ace are on commentary here so Cole sucks up to Ace. Punk comes back with knees to the back for two. He backdrops Bryan to the floor and sets to dive, but Bryan calls AJ over to tend to him.
The distraction lets Bryan take Punk's knee out and send him into the steps. We take another break (pretty fast no?) and come back with Bryan holding an abdominal stretch. We missed the ending from last week with Punk almost winning off a superplex with the interlocking legs. Punk hits the knee in the corner but he bulldog is countered. He slams Bryan down and hits the top rope elbow but his ribs are too hurt to cover.
Otunga tries to interfere but Punk kicks him down. LeBell Lock is countered and Otunga gets up again. The wrestlers hit stereo cross bodies as Santino knocks Otunga down. Ace pulls Santino down as Bryan is walking out. Sheamus throws him back in and Punk hits the GTS. Ace says that's a DQ and the bell rings at 10:20.
Punk poses on the stage when Jericho runs out and beats him up. He slams Punk on the stage and puts him in the Liontamer.
We get a video on HHH vs. Undertaker from last year with testimonials from big names and The Miz saying how amazing it was. IT WASN'T THAT GOOD!
Kelly Kelly vs. Nikki Bella
Nikki slams her into the mat to start and does a Hennig neck snap. Kelly does her screaming headscissors and kicks the other Bella down. She reverses a rollup to pin Nikki at 1:30. Your usual Divas stuff.
John Cena vs. The Miz
Miz says that no one works harder than he does and how he's flown 16 hours to do PR in Russia. For some reason though he isn't even on the card for Wrestlemania yet. What better way to show why he should be on it than by beating the guy that he beat in the main event last year? Miz escapes a quick AA attempt and hits his usual stuff to take over. Cena hits a backdrop and some clotheslines but walks into Miz's short DDT for two. The corner clothesline hits and Miz goes up, but misses his top rope ax handle. Cena starts up his finishing sequence and hits the Shuffle. AA and STF end this at 4:04.
Rock pops up on screen and does the You Can't See Me sign.
Tag Titles: Epico/Primo vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler
Ok then. This is actually more like the WCW Triangle matches where you have three people in the ring at once. You can only tag your partner though. Kofi, Dolph and Primo start us off but Ziggler chills on the floor. Things break down quickly and now there's no one in the ring. Kofi and Swagger fall to the floor and we take a break.
Back with Primo, Swagger and Truth in the ring and Swagger breaking up a Truth sunset flip. Swagger and Primo get in an argument and it's off to Ziggler. A great dropkick by Ziggler puts Truth down but Primo tries to steal the pin. Truth comes back and hits a combination Downward Spiral/DDT to both guys. A double tag prevents the tag to Kofi but Swagger gets in a fight with Epico, allowing the hot tag to Kofi.
He cleans house with his high flying stuff and gets two off the cross body. A double Boom Drop to one of each opponents but Ziggler hits the Zig Zag to break up the Trouble in Paradise. Swagger gets two off that and then grabs the ankle lock on Epico. Trouble in Paradise takes Swagger down and Primo hits a Backstabber on Kofi, allowing Epico to steal the pin to retain at 8:21.
Post match Kane comes out to clear the ring and beat up everyone in sight.
Ace and Otunga are in the back talking about the Oscars when Teddy comes in. Nothing to see here.
We recap the Eve heel turn and her wanting to use Cena.
Here's Eve in the arena with new EVIL music. She says she doesn't care that she uses people because it's not her fault that men can't resist her. The men should blame themselves for their weaknesses. And that's it.
We see Eve in the back and Kelly messes up the whole thing with her awful acting. Alicia is next to Kelly for no apparent reason. Eve leaves them there.
Trailer for Edge's new movie. Oh great. It's a buddy comedy.
Orton is back on Smackdown to face Bryan.
Big Show/Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes/Mark Henry
Henry isn't allowed time off to heal is he? Cody shows us a clip from Mania where Show lost to Floyd Mayweather. Cody immediately tags Henry in and Show stomps him down to start. Show spears him down and glares at Cody who is on the ramp. Sheamus tags himself in and Brogue Kicks Henry down for the pin at 59 seconds.
The Board of Directors are going to announce something at 10am tomorrow and it might involve potential leadership changes on both shows.
We get a recap of Cena's promo last week and Rock is up next.
Shawn will be on Raw next week.
Here's Rock for the big response. The fans chant for him and he seems legit taken back by it. Rock says look at his arm which is real. He's covered in goosebumps because this feels good. He says this might surprise some people, but he's not here every week. Him saying he'd never leave didn't mean that he'd be at Raw and Smackdown every week. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles.
Rock says he was born and raised in this business and is here for no reason other than because he loves the WWE. He'll always be a part of it and it'll always be a part of him. He finally says Cena's name and the people boo. For years, Rock thought Cena was a phony. He didn't think that someone who graduated from a private school could become the Doctor of Thuganomics. But then Rock realized that Cena really is that guy.
Cena said that it took forever to get to Rock but why, when he has Rock's cell phone number. Instead of talking on the phone or in person though, Rock would rather slap him in the face with a piece of kung pow chicken. Last week Cena said that he'll fight at Wrestlemania for all of the people in the back that love to be a professional wrestler. Rock grew up as one and he was always taught that no one was going to fight for himself but himself.
When he was climbing the ladders (he climbed ladders?) do you think anyone fought for him? Do you think anyone fought for Austin, Savage or Piper? Rock fights for the people, not the boys in the back. He says kung pow is now trending world wide. That made my eyes roll. Rock says the people aren't tired of being entertained. That's what he does: he entertains.
Rock says he mentioned Cena eating Fruity Pebbles and then a few months later, Cena was on a cereal box. He said lady parts and it was chanted. Now Rock leads them in chants of Rocky and lady parts. That's what Rock does: he entertains. The most interesting thing Cena has done all year is change the kind of shorts he wears to camouflage. That's been effective because we can't find his balls anywhere. And cue Rock telling us that Cena's missing balls is trending.
Cue Cena thank goodness. Cena says that only Rock could come up with calling someone kung pow chicken. He is the guy that talks Rock down because Rock isn't here. However, Rock is only half right because Cena will run Rock down when Rock is here too. Cena used to love Rock too until he met Dwayne Johnson. Dwayne is self-centered and egotistical and Cena doesn't need words trending on Twitter, or his promo printed on his wrist (which Rock apparently had).
At Wrestlemania, Cena is going to be looking into the eyes of Dwayne Johnson, not The Rock like everyone else will see. Cena says carry on and continue trending and leaves. Rock says that's just like Cena to walk away before the right. Rock and Dwayne Johnson are the same person and he'll be kicking Cena all over Wrestlemania, if you smell what he's cooking. Rock sounded REALLY desperate after Cena left.
Results
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Kelly Kelly b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
John Cena b. The Miz – STF
Epico/Primo b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Epico pinned Swagger after Trouble in Paradise
Sheamus/Big Show b. Mark Henry/Cody Rhodes – Brogue Kick to Henry
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.1, which is probably due to the Daytona 500 being in prime time.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: February 29, 2012
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal
It's the one year anniversary show, despite the season not being on the air for a year yet but again, counting is probably too complicated for WWE. Striker has promised us a major announcement tonight which probably won't wind up meaning much of anything because this is NXT, the land of crushed and broken dreams. Let's get to it.
Alex Riley/Percy Watson vs. Darren Young/Titus O'Neil
Titus starts with Riley and the beating begins. Riley gets in a dropkick and it's off to Young. Alex takes him down but goes up and is kicked down to give Young the advantage. Things slow down a lot with Titus taking over and saying that he has five. Riley tries to dive for a tag but Titus carries him back to the corner to bring in Young again.
Atomic drop gets two and it's off to a chinlock with a body scissors. Riley manages to get a kick into the face of a bent over Young and tags in Watson. Watson speeds things up and hits the Heisman Splash for two. Watson goes after Titus though and walks into the double knee gutbuster from Young for the pin at 5:46.
Titus says Percy gets his rematch next week.
Back from a break and we have Alicia, Kaitlyn and Justin Gabriel in the ring in chairs. It's supposed to be Bateman vs. Slater at this point. Apparently this is an intervention. Oh dear. They're intervening about 5'5 of pure evil. Bateman: “You mean Trent Barretta?” They talk about how crazy Maxine is and how she beats up random rew members and makes everyone miserable. Kaitlyn set this up. This is being booed out of the building.
We get a highlight package of Maxine and Bateman's relationship, including the whole engagement and the Johnny Curtis stuff. Bateman says she's a lot better at home and he doesn't want to die alone. Kaitlyn says that constantly getting slapped in the face is weird, not love. He asks Kaitlyn what love is then, so she bends him back and kisses him. Maxine runs out and gets in a fight with Kaitlyn which is quickly broken up. Maxine beats on Bateman and the girls are in the main event tonight.
Tyson and Natalya run into each other in the back. McGillicutty comes up and says something smells around here but it's not Natalya. They're up next.
Michael McGillicutty vs. Tyson Kidd
They go tot he mat and Michael controls with a quick headlock. Regal talks about Tiger Mask as Tyson hooks a hammerlock. Michael works on the wrist but Kidd reverses into a cradle for two. McGillicutty sends him into the corner and out to the floor for the first big advantage. Off to a chinlock with McGillicutty having a way too excited look on his face. Back up and Kidd gets up a boot in the corner and they clothesline each other.
Kidd starts firing off some hard strikes and a jumping spin kick gets two. Rolling cradle gets two. Kidd goes up but gets crotched. He knocks McGillicutty off and hits a moonsault press for two. Kidd loads up the Sharpshooter but McGillicutty kicks him away and the McGillicutter gets the pin at 6:22. McGillicutty's face looks like it belongs in a Will Ferrell movie.
Raw ReBound is about Rock and Cena of course.
Maxine is freaking out in the back and runs into Aksana. Maxine says everyone is plotting against her and she thinks even Aksana is in on it. Anyone that crosses Maxine will regret it.
Striker is in the ring for his major announcement, drawing a Regal chant. He talks about all the ring announcers and commentators and the thirty new superstars they've added. He does know that NXT has been around two years and that this season has been a year right? However there's only been one host. He's got this job because he loves this stuff. NXT was supposed to be about exposing the unseen because the guys in that locker room are carrying the business into the future. Yep the business is dead.
Anyway, lately NXT has been missing its point and that's because of Striker. Tonight that changes....and here are Hawkins and Reks to interrupt. They have a surprise for Striker and they pull out chairs and drinks because they want to see this. Striker finally yells at Curt to shut up. He tells Hawkins to come try him if he wants to. Someone with veteran experience needs to take over. Someone that has worked his entire career so that Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks can be called wrestlers. Striker will still be host but the matchmaker is now Sir William Regal.
Regal gets in the ring and says that there are going to be some new people coming to NXT to face Hawkins and Reks. As for them, why are they wearing sunglasses inside? This is the beginning of the new NXT and their first surprise is next week.
Kaitlyn vs. Maxine
Bateman and Curtis are on commentary for this. Curtis rubs lotion on his chest. He says that Maxine is in his back pocket for whenever he wants to pull her out. Brawl to start and Regal says he's very open to bribes. Kaitlyn books a body scissors for a bit but Maxine takes over with basic stuff. A running double ax gets two. Maxine beats on her a little more until Kaitlyn hits a Bubba Bomb and a rollup for the pin at 3:21.
Maxine gets in Regal's face and says she looks forward to working closely with him.
Results
Darren Young/Titus O'Neil b. Alex Riley/Percy Watson – Double Knee Gutbuster To Watson
Michael McGillicutty b. Tyson Kidd – McGillicutter
Kaitlyn b. Maxine – Bubba Bomb
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: March 1, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
We're getting closer to Victory Road but we have three Impacts to get through first. That PPV is really just a stop on the road to Lockdown though as the main event may not even be for the title. It needs to happen though so we can get through the Sting vs. Roode issues because until that match happens, that feud is going to overshadow the Storm vs. Roode match at Lockdown. Let's get to it.
Little warning here: I've been sick all week and I'm on some strong medicine so this might be a little weaker than usual.
We open with a recap of the end of the show from last week with Sting going insane on Roode.
Angle has a list of cue cards as to why he hates Jeff Hardy and why he attacked him.
We get a theme song. That hasn't happened in how long?
Here's Angle to explain why he attacked Jeff Hardy. He has cue cards. First of all, Jeff has hair. It's rainbow colored but that doesn't make him a champion. Number two: the way Jeff dresses. Third, fans want Jeff's autograph more than Angle's. Fourth: girls like Jeff more than him.
The biggest reason though: he has over 100 different action figures, posters and t-shirts. At night though, he sees Jeff Hardy posters in his son's room and steps on Jeff Hardy action figures. His son wears Jeff Hardy t-shirts and he has makeup on with purple hair, “and he wears freaking socks on his arms.” Kurt's face when he said that last line made me laugh. Jeff comes out and Angle challenges him to a match at Victory Road. Hardy jumps him and has to be pulled off.
Roode complains about Sting a bit when Austin Aries came up. He talks about how he tweeted his issues with Sting and compares himself to Roode. Roode seems to be accepting of this and asks if Aries has five minutes to talk. They go for a chat.
AJ Styles vs. Kazarian/Christopher Daniels
This is a gauntlet match and AJ starts with Daniels. AJ says if he wins, he wants to know what Daniels has over Kaz. Daniels says that they don't have to listen to AJ but then he changes his mind quickly and says yes. AJ goes after Daniels and hammers away to start. Back inside and AJ takes him down with a clothesline. Some suplexes set up a backbreaker for two. AJ has to keep yelling at Kaz as we take a break.
Back with AJ coming back from something with elbows into the ribs. He tries to float over coming out of the corner but walks into an elbow for two. AJ comes back and hits the springboard forearm for no cover. He loads up the Clash but Daniels avoids it. An STO puts AJ down....and Kaz comes in to hit AJ with the Fade to Black. That's a DQ loss for Daniels but Kaz immediately pins him to win it at 9:48. Smart.
Madison sucks up to Gail in the back. Gail has gotten them a spa day this weekend, but first Madison has to beat ODB.
ODB vs. Madison Rayne
ODB controls to start with the power game. Madison is in blue here, making her more gorgeous than usual. Madison gets in some offense but it's nothing all that great. ODB comes back again to beat her down as Eric takes his shirt off. The Bam is countered as Gail brings in a belt. It doesn't happen though as The Bam gets the pin at 2:58.
Ray rants about last week when Roode comes up and says that was funny. Aries is with Roode and they convince Ray that it's Sting's fault that Brandon Jacobs was here. They recruit Roode who seems to accept their offer.
Velvet gets in a fight with Angelina.
Garrett gets into it with Flair, Gunner and Eric. A challenge is made for next week for Garrett to show up or not.
Here are Aries, Roode and Ray. Roode says he's awesome but Sting isn't an active wrestler anymore. You don't put your hands on the champ and at Victory Road it's going to be a beating. Ray says he has great calves. He blames Storm for things but says its all Sting's fault. It was Sting that let Brandon Jacobs comes in and put him through a table. It was Sting that caused him the embarrassment. Aries says Sting is one of those people that can't let it go because the three of them are better than him. He wants to know why he's not in a main event. They all say they're done and sit down in the ring.
The lights go out and Sting is in the ring too, freaking all three of them out. He wants to have a chat with them. Aries says he really is done but Roode doesn't like the idea of losing his title if he's really done. The same is true of the X Title. As for Ray, he'll get his finger bitten off if it goes in Sting's face again. No job means no paycheck so they'll all stick around. The main event is a six man with these three against Storm/Magnus/Joe. The lights go out and Sting is gone.
Video on Sorensen's recovery.
Ion says he'll break more necks if he has to.
Zema Ion vs. Shannon Moore
Moore controls with speed to start and they head to the floor. Ion hits a clothesline to take over, followed by a missile dropkick back inside. A neckbreaker gets two and Ion goes up. Whatever he's going to try is countered by a top rope rana by Moore which gets two. Moonsault press misses and Ion hits his belly to back flip into the facebuster for the pin at 3:30.
Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs. Sarita/Angelina Love
Velvet goes after Angelina to start as we hear about Madonna and the founder of Girls Gone Wild feuding. Mickie comes in and snaps off a rana for two. Out to the floor where Sarita hits a nice dive. Mickie gets beaten down for awhile until she manages to hang Angelina over the top and makes the tag to Velvet. Everything breaks down and the top rope Thesz Press takes Mickie and Sarita to the floor. Velvet wins with her sitout Pedigree to Angelina at 5:51.
Storm/Crimson/Joe say they're ready.
We look back at Abyss disappearing at Genesis. His family hasn't seen him since.
Bully Ray/Robert Roode/Austin Aries vs. Magnus/Samoa Joe/James Storm
So Joe is a face again? I'll have to keep that in mind when it gets confusing again in a few weeks. Magnus and Aries start things off. Aries takes him to the mat quickly but can't reach up high enough for a test of strength. He cartwheels away from Magnus so Magnus takes his head off with a clothesline. Off to Roode and Storm wants in. Storm comes in and Roode runs as we take a break.
Back with Ray hammering on Storm in the corner. The announcers talk about Kobe Bryant having a concussion. The commentary is being recorded later now so they can be more up to date. As long as it doesn't turn into a bunch of pop culture references that's a good idea. Anyway Joe gets the tag and the big men go at it. Joe takes over and suplexes Aries too.
Magnus comes in and the tag champs speed things up. Roode and Storm come in again and the champ runs one more time. Aries gets beaten on instead as Joe does the always cool walk away to avoid contact. He loads up the MuscleBuster but Roode makes the save. Ray comes in to beat on Joe as he somehow plays Ricky Morton. Talk about miscasting. Taz talks about the Knockouts so Tenay yells at him.
The triple beating continues with Roode hitting a Hennig necksnap and Aries hitting a modified elbow to the back. Aries rams Joe's head into Ray's calves which doesn't do much. All three heels take turns on Joe but Roode runs into a release Rock Bottom in the corner and there's the tag to Storm. House is cleaned until ray gets in some offense on him. Everything breaks down and the tag champs hit their finisher on Aries. A lot of finishers are hit and the Last Call gets the pin on Roode at 16:50.
Ray beats down everyone to close the show, saying he's the real #1 contender.
Results
Kazarian/Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles – Fade To Black
ODB b. Madison Raine – The Bam
Zema Ion b. Shannon Moore – Flipping Facebuster
Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Sarita – Sitout Facebuster to Love
James Storm/Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode/Bully Ray – Last Call to Roode
Friday
Impact got a 1.0, the lowest number of the year.
Smackdown
Date: March 2, 2012
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T
Orton is back tonight and he's facing Daniel Bryan after Bryan gave him the concussion that put him out. I don't remember if I ever heard how legit that injury was. Anyway, that's the main event and it should be good, but I'd be shocked if we got a clean finish to it. Expect more of the Bryan vs. Sheamus build as well as some more Ace vs. Long stuff. Let's get to it.
We open with what looks more like a commercial for the show than an opening video. It's about the main event.
Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is bronchitis.
Here's Sheamus to open the show. He says he's thinking about Wrestlemania and being in front of over 80,000 members of the WWE Universe. FANS. THEY'RE CALLED FANS. When did that become a dirty word? I know “Members of the WWE Universe” has been their term for it for years now, but why is fans such a bad thing to say? Anyway he can't wait to face Bryan. Bryan has become a changed man since he won the title, just like Sheamus did two years ago.
When Sheamus won his first world title, he became wrapped up in his own ego. However, he was lucky. He should have known that the WWE Title was the greatest trophy he could have earned. He became a bully instead though. You mean like he was before he won the title? What Sheamus needed was for someone to knock his block off. Bryan needs the same thing.
This brings out Vickie and Dolph for some reason. She liked his story but her favorite part was when Sheamus stopped talking. Ziggler says the people deserve to see him in the main event, not Sheamus. He says Sheamus' hair is on fire. Sheamus says that joke is as old as Dolph's grandmother Vickie. For some reason this leads to Vickie talking about Ace/Teddy and saying she's the only non-McMahon to be GM of both shows. Teddy comes out and makes Dolph vs. Sheamus right now. I liked Sheamus' promo here. He's not the best talker in the world so keeping it simple is something that works well for him.
Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler
The match is joined in progress after a break but it doesn't look like we've missed much. There was an ad talking about how Ace will run Smackdown next week so the announcers talk about that for awhile. Ziggler hits a dropkick but Sheamus keeps smiling. Sheamus comes back with forearms to the back and the ten in the ropes. The fans clearly really like Sheamus but they've given him no character development at all. It's a lost art in WWE anymore.
Ziggler goes to the floor. Booker says stay on your bicycle Dolph. There's an image for you, complete with Benny Hill music. Ziggler grabs a neckbreaker coming back in to take over. Another neckbreaker gets two so Dolph drops some elbows for the same result. Sheamus fights out of a chinlock and hits his power shots to come back. Powerslam gets two. Ziggler locks on a sleeper but Sheamus powers out of it by ramming Ziggler into the corner and out to the floor.
Dolph comes off the top but jumps into the Irish Curse. It gets two as Vickie puts the foot on the ropes. Sheamus loads up the Celtic Cross (Sheamus', not Finlay's). Irish Curse The Sequel gets two. Sheamus pounds his chest and shouts Brogue so Vickie calls out Swagger. The Kick takes him down but Ziggler hits a Fameasser. That only gets two so he tries the Zig Zag. Sheamus holds the ropes and catches Ziggler in the new finisher which is now called the White Noise.
We recap the Bryan vs. Punk stuff from Raw with the Battling Bosses.
Ace and Otunga are in Teddy's office when Teddy comes in. Ace wants an apology for the attack by Teddy on Raw. Apparently Ace has a bad back now and its because of Teddy. Otunga is considering a civil suit against Teddy. Ace says an apology will do instead. Teddy says no because it made Ace look like “a cow on ice crossed with Sesame Street Big Bird.” Otunga vs. Khali on Monday. Ace suggests Teddy try yoga.
Heath Slater vs. Santino Marella
Santino attacks to start but the headbutt lands on knees. The announcers talk about Ace and Teddy. Cole: “See how tough he is?” Booker: “He used to have a skateboard. That's how tough he is.” Anyway, Slater hits a Harlem Side Kick for two. He goes up but gets crotched and the Cobra ends it at 1:53.
Video on HHH vs. Undertaker, the same from Raw. The match simply isn't as good as they're trying to make it out to be. It's very good. It's a great match. It's not this masterpiece that they're pushing it as.
Natalya yells at Eve about Zach. Eve goes off on her about it and guess what Natalya winds up doing. You either want the Divas to be serious or you don't. Pick one.
Natalya vs. Eve Torres
Natalya controls with a headlock and Booker has a thing for Eve. Now Booker diagnoses Natalya's stomach issues. Eve slaps her so Natalya takes her down and pounds on her. Eve reverses a rollup into one of her own for the pin at 1:32.
Here's Cody who has held the title for a very long time. If my math is right, if he holds the title until April 10, he'll have held if for the longest reign since Rock's in 97/98. Cody talks about Big Show's Wrestlemania losses and shows some stills from the Akebono and Mayweather matches. Cody says Show should be thanking him for keeping Show out of Wrestlemania because Show would just floudner again. He's got another Wrestlemania clip but Show cuts him off.
Cody runs into the crowd as soon as Show gets to the ring. Show says hang on a second. He wanted to watch the new clip with Cody like friends. Since Cody won't come back though, Show better go get Cody. Cue Teddy who says hang on a minute. This isn't Pamplona, Spain and Show can't be running into the crowd like a bull. Show vs. Cody for the title is announced for Wrestlemania. That's the second time the IC Title will be on the line at Mania since 2002.
Big Show vs. Mark Henry
Show takes him down to start but Henry fights back and clotheslines Show to the floor. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate as Show is sent into the timekeeper's area. He gets back to the apron at 8 but Henry rams him into the exposed buckle as we take a break. Back with Henry pounding him down and Cody on commentary. Back to the floor and Henry rams Show's back into the post.
With Show still against the post, Mark throws the steps at him. Since that would result in probable death, Show moves. Henry knocks him down again and hits a Vader Bomb for two. Show hits a superkick and a “spear” (it was a shoulder block) to take Henry down. Show sets for the chokeslam but gets caught in the Slam for two. So long Henry, hope you enjoyed your time in the main event. Henry charges into the corner but walks into the WMD for the pin at 5:22 shown of 8:52.
Teddy tells Drew if he loses he's fired. Again.
Orton says he's back to normal, which means angry and wanting revenge. Bryan decided to pay the price and tonight Orton is going to collect.
Drew McIntyre vs. Justin Gabriel
Drew starts by blocking a kick and getting a clothesline for two. Another spin kick misses and Drew hits a big boot for two. Into the corner but Drew's tilt-a-whirl slam is countered into a DDT. Gabriel goes up and hits the 450 for the pin at 1:44. Justin hit two moves the whole match.
Teddy pops up on screen and fires Drew. At least until next week when Ace rehires him because he sees a lot of potential in him or something. They mentioned that Ace discovered Drew and brought him to WWE in the first place during the match.
We get ALL of Rock and Cena from Monday. The version I watch is divided into 6 fifteen minute parts. I literally skipped all of part 5 because of this. There was NOTHING in there they could clip?
Daniel Bryan says he hasn't changed since he won the title. He's still the same down to Earth person who was born and raised in Aberdeen, Washington. However he moved to Vegas as soon as possible. He calls himself a role model and talks about how he beat Giant and Henry in a cage and five others in the Elimination Chamber.
Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton
The fans are split on Bryan. Orton sends him to the floor quickly and throws Bryan into things. He sends Bryan into the steps and kicks Bryan's head into them. Back in Orton loads up a superplex but Bryan shoves him off and takes over. Knee to the head gets two as we take a break. Back with Bryan working over the arm and shoulder. Booker says that he'll never call Bryan D-Bry again. Bryan stays on the shoulder but Orton hits a dropkick to get some seperation.
Booker runs down AJ now, calling Bryan her meal ticket. Is AJ really a heel, or does she just associate with one? I'm not exactly sure. The dropkick gets two. Bryan kicks him in the shoulder so Orton throws him into the Elevated DDT. RKO is countered twice and Bryan heads to the floor. Orton follows him and loads up the Elevated DDT on the floor....but here's Kane. Didn't see that one coming. The bell rings, presumably for a countout since Kane hasn't touched anyone, at 6:30 shown of 10:00.
Orton goes straight at Kane for no apparent reason. Kane might have been coming to ask Booker if he wanted to buy some Girl Scout cookies. They go into the ring but Kane is clotheslined to the floor. He pulls Orton out and they brawl on the floor for a bit. Back inside and Orton's shoulder goes into the post. A chokeslam puts Randy down and Kane wants a mic. He says welcome back Randy and that's it.
Ace says it's Kane vs. Aksana next week.
Results
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – White Noise
Santino Marella b. Heath Slater – Cobra
Eve Torres b. Natalya – Rollup
Justin Gabriel b. Drew McIntyre – 450 Splash
Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton went to a double countout
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Something for a change: Alberto Del Rio wrestled at a house show last night so he's healthy again.
Quick Results
Raw
Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Kelly Kelly b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
John Cena b. The Miz – STF
Epico/Primo b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Epico pinned Swagger after Trouble in Paradise
Sheamus/Big Show b. Mark Henry/Cody Rhodes – Brogue Kick to Henry
NXT
Darren Young/Titus O'Neil b. Alex Riley/Percy Watson – Double Knee Gutbuster To Watson
Michael McGillicutty b. Tyson Kidd – McGillicutter
Kaitlyn b. Maxine – Bubba Bomb
Impact Wrestling
Kazarian/Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles – Fade To Black
ODB b. Madison Raine – The Bam
Zema Ion b. Shannon Moore – Flipping Facebuster
Mickie James/Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Sarita – Sitout Facebuster to Love
James Storm/Samoa Joe/Magnus b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode/Bully Ray – Last Call to Roode
Smackdown
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – White Noise
Santino Marella b. Heath Slater – Cobra
Eve Torres b. Natalya – Rollup
Justin Gabriel b. Drew McIntyre – 450 Splash
Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton went to a double countout