klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Friday
Impact got a 1.1, the same as last week.
Smackdown
Date: February 17, 2012
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T
This is the final show before the Elimination Chamber. By the time you read this you'll know that Orton is out of the Chamber so tonight it's all about finding a replacement. Other than that, I wouldn't expect a ton of stuff to be talked about. I mean it's not like there needs to be stories for a show like this. Why should the writers need to waste time on character development or plots when they can just throw everyone in a cage and put their feet up for three weeks? Let's get to it.
The opening video is about the Show vs. Orton match from Raw. That Super DDT was kind of cool. Bryan hit Orton twice with the belt which gave him a concussion. I've heard conflicting reports about whether that's a legit injury or if he was injured somewhere else and that's their story for taking him out.
Orton is in Teddy's office and Teddy says its out of both of their hands. Teddy can't let him compete because he's not medically cleared. Security is going to escort him out of the building because Teddy is concerned about his health. We're officially told that Orton is out of the Chamber.
Do you know your enemy? Mine is procrastination.
Big Show/Great Khali vs. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes
Now Barrett and Rhodes lost last week, so the logical move would be to have them win here to get their heat back going into the Chamber. Barrett starts with Khali. Wade tries to kick him in the side but Khali shoves him down. Khali chops him in the corner so Barrett tags out. Cody has even less luck and tags out also.
Before he leaves though he kicks Khali in the knee which lets Barrett kick him in the head to knock him down. Cody hooks a quick chinlock but Khali shrugs him off and tags in Big Show. He cleans house and spears Barrett down. Cody gets knocked out of the air and the chokeslam pins Wade clean at 3:32.
Big Show knocks Khali out post match.
Teddy is on the phone and says he doesn't know what he's going to do about the empty spot. Henry shows up and says he wants the spot. Teddy looks like he's thinking about it. Big Show comes in before Teddy answers and says he wants Daniel Bryan tonight. Henry says wait your turn. Show knocks him out too. He tells Teddy to give him what he wants and then destroys Teddy's office.
Video on the UAE tour.
Teddy tells security to wait for Big Show to calm down and then escort him out of the building. One of the guards says no way so Teddy says he'll call for backup.
Ted DiBiase vs. Hunico
Ted's cast is smaller this week. Hopefully this is the end of the dull feud. Hunico beats him into the corner to start but Teddy counters and beats him down as well. Big boot gets two for DiBiase. Hunico works on Ted's bad arm/wrist but DiBiase slams him to the mat. DiBiase dropkicks him out of the air but Camacho hits DiBiase, allowing Hunico to roll him up and grab the tights for the pin at 1:45. Now GET THEM SOMETHING NEW TO DO!
Short version of the Shawn/HHH/Undertaker segment from Raw.
Usos vs. Epico/Primo
Great. ANOTHER match we've seen twice already. Primo and Jey start us off. The Usos double team to get control but Jimmy goes to the corner and Primo slams him off. He gets double teamed in the champions' corner as Booker and Cole get into it again. Cole was doing well about staying on focus to start too.
Primo hooks a chinlock but misses a corner dropkick, tying him up in the Tree of Woe. There's the tag to Jay as well as Epico. The crowd is into the Usos, as usual. The Umaga running corner shot misses but a Samoan Drop gets two. Backstabber by Primo misses and there's the superkick. Jey's Superfly Splash hits knees and the Backstabber gets the pin at 4:45.
Big Show has left the arena willingly.
Bryan is here.
Video on the Chamber.
Here's Bryan in the arena. Bryan says on Monday he got two for one. We see a clip of Bryan hitting Orton and Show with the title on Raw. He says that if either of them had any guts, they'd be out here facing him right now. However they're both afraid. Everyone is afraid of Daniel Bryan. Everyone is afraid of tapping out because he just keeps winning. He's proven all of us wrong and he'll do it again on Sunday. He would have won tonight and he'll win on Sunday. Orton isn't here but he wants Lillian to announce him as the winner via forfeit. She does and Bryan does the huge celebration to his music.
Here's Teddy to say hold on a minute playa. He says Bryan hasn't competed yet, which is what everyone wants to see. It won't be Orton, but there's a volunteer to take his place.
Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan
Sheamus takes him down with a headlock and works on the arm to open up. Bryan comes back with some kicks but Sheamus punches him in the ribs. There are the ten forearms in the rope and thankfully they stopped calling it whatever that Irish word they had given it. Bryan tries to walk out but Sheamus runs him over. Bryan gets up on the apron and hits the running knee to the head. Back in and Bryan hits a dropkick to the ribs.
Sheamus fires back with right hands but Bryan picks the ankle to stop him. A running low dropkick in the corner gives the champion control again. This is the most offense anyone has gotten in on Sheamus in months. He blocks the kicks and makes his comeback, hitting a powerslam for two.
Irish Curse is countered into a LeBell Lock attempt. Sheamus rolls out of it but Bryan escapes the Celtic Cross. Sheamus goes after him in the corner and Bryan slaps him. The referee pulls him back and I think Bryan spits on him (the camera cut away) and that's enough for Sheamus to throw the referee down for the DQ at 6:45.
Barrett wants to know who Orton's replacement is. Cody wants to know also. Teddy says there's a battle royal tonight with anyone in WWE, from Raw to Smackdown to Superstars to NXT.
The Rock is a movie star! This is much shorter than the one on Raw, thank goodness.
Jinder Mahal vs. Ezekiel Jackson
Mahal hits a bunch of knees to the ribs as Cole suggests Johnny Curtis could head to the Chamber. Jackson runs him over in the corner and hits a side slam. The Rack is countered and Mahal hits a DDT. He hooks the camel clutch but Zeke gets out of it. A Downward Spiral sets up another camel clutch (how does that hurt the back any more?) which gets the tap at 2:06. Zeke is done. I mean he's just DONE.
Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya
Beth grabs Alicia to start and Fox dropkicks her down. Off to Natalya and we get a nice gymnastics demonstration from them. Natalya slides to the floor and comes back in to drop Fox for two. Beth adds in a kick to keep Fox in trouble. Natalya hooks the Sharpshooter... and the referee doesn't see the tap because Natalya's stupid gimmick makes him need a breath of fresh air. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? It allows Tamina to come in and hit the Samoan Drop and Superfly Splash for the pin at 2:52. I hate the Divas because of stupid stuff like this. Seriously, if this is the best they can come up with for them, drop the division.
Tamina knocks Beth out post match but she avoids the splash.
Ace and Otunga come to see Teddy. Ace says the Chamber is about charisma and star power. He suggests just putting Otunga in the Chamber instead of having the battle royal. Teddy says Otunga has the stink of a lawyer. What's with the smell nonsense on this show lately?
Recap of the Cena/Kane/Ryder stuff from Monday.
Battle Royal
I'm not going to try to list off everyone in it. Imagine every non-main event guy and he's probably in this. Otunga gets his own entrance. The NXT guys are in there. Bateman is the first out and it's a standard battle royal: everyone is fighting and there's no point in talking about anything other than eliminations until we get down to about five people. Watson is gone. Titus and an Uso follow him. Drew gorilla presses Kidd out.
DiBiase low bridges Darren Young and they both hang on to the rope to avoid elimination. DiBiase kicks him in the stomach and Young is gone. The ring is clearing out a bit but there are still too many people to count. Hunico throws Tatsu out. DiBiase knocks Camacho out as does Gabriel to McGillicutty. We take a break and come back with not much having changed.
There are about twelve people left. Make that about eleven as Hawkins is out. Riley tries the TKO on either Epico or Primo for some reason but he gets double teamed and tossed. The champs try to do the same to Reks but decide that's not good enough, so they throw Curtis at Reks to get rid of both of them. They throw the other Uso out as well, then Primo dumps Epico.
Ok it's down to manageable now. Hunico dumps DiBiase but DiBiase pulls him out too to keep their feud going. Gabriel and Primo throw each other to the apron but both save themselves. The camera won't stay on a wide shot long enough for me to list off everyone in still. The both go to the apron twice more until Gabriel finally knocks Primo to the floor. Jackson knocks Gabriel out too.
It's Otunga, Jackson, Mahal (elimianted as I type that), McIntyre and Santino. Santino loads up the Cobra but Otunga and McIntyre jump him. Drew is running over everyone with big boots....and then Santino dumps him. Otunga tries to throw out Santino but Jackson saves him. The fans are all chanting for Santino and he ducks under Jackson to put him out.
It's Santino vs. Otunga. Santino Italianadians up and hits the Cobra but Otunga gets in a right hand to stop the momentum. A horrible neckbreaker takes Marella down. He goes to throw Santino out but is reversed and eliminated to give Santino the win at 13:12 shown of 16:42. Cole: WE REPLACED A VIPER WITH A COBRA???
Santino celebrates to end the show.
Results
Big Show/Great Khali b. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes Chokeslam to Barrett
Hunico b. Ted DiBiase Rollup
Primo/Epico b. The Usos Backstabber to Jey Uso
Daniel Bryan b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus shoved the referee
Jinder Mahal b. Ezekiel Jackson Camel Clutch
Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya Superfly Splash to Natalya
Santino Marella won a battle royal last eliminating David Otunga
Saturday
Same result as always on Saturday.
Sunday
Elimination Chamber 2012
Date: February 19, 2012
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler
This is the final stop on the Road to Wrestlemania, or the beginning of the road, depending on how you look at it. The even money would seem to be on both of the champions retaining here but you can never be sure. I mean, Santino is scheduled to be in this match so how sure can you be? Let's get to it.
The opening video is exactly what you would imagine it is.
The Chamber is lowered.
Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho vs. R-Truth vs. The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston
Jericho enters last due to winning a match on Raw two weeks ago. Punk and Kofi start us off. Naturally the two faces wrestle as faces. Also they're not going to use a lot of energy this early in the match. Kofi goes to the ropes but might have slipped a bit. It was nothing bad though. They trade pinfall reversals and Kofi avoids the GTS. Punk avoids the Boom Drop and they go to the outside. Well as to the outside as you can go.
Punk blocks a kick and slingshots Kofi into the pod which has a great thud sound effect. Back into the ring but Punk has hurt his hip. It was probably due to that time when he got slammed out on the chain and landed on his hip, but that's just speculation. Here's the first pod opening and it's.....a guy in pink trunks. The new idea they want to push is that it can go from a one on one match to a triple threat and so on. Great, another thing to have drilled into our heads.
Ziggler goes after Punk and does pullups on the Chamber wall. He splashes Kofi back in the ring and we're told that pins have to take place in there. Good thing to clarify. A splash attempt on Punk misses and everyone is in some trouble. Punk and Kofi double team Dolph and go to the outside for a double springboard. In a cool looking visual, they both dive at Dolph but collide in the air off the springboards due to Dolph ducking.
Dolph can't cover though so we open pod #2 after about three minutes. It's R-Truth who works on the pink one. He's no Bret Hart. Truth knocks Ziggler over the ropes to send Dolph leg first into the cage. Truth dives on top of him because he's not that smart all the time. Scissors kick gets two in the ring. Punk does his usual ramming his head into the other guy's ear to call a spot before superplexing Truth for two.
Trouble in Paradise misses Punk and Kofi gets thrown to the outside. Macho Elbow eliminates Truth but Ziggler grabs a rollup. Punk rolls through it and Kofi hits the kick on Punk (looked SICK). Ziggler goes after Kofi of course but Kofi fights him off. He can only get two on the champ though due to the delay. Kofi does the springboard into the Spider-Man cage grab then hits a tornado DDT Dolph onto the cage, basically knocking him silly.
Here's Miz in fifth to clean house. Everyone is down now so Miz covers Dolph, getting two. Kofi gets up on the ropes and kicks Miz in the face but is knocked off and crashes into the cage. GTS and Finale are both blocked so Miz hits the short DDT for two. They head to the mat and Punk grabs the Vice on Miz, but wouldn't you know it, Jericho comes in to break it up before the tap.
Jericho and Punk square off with Jericho in control. Walls and GTS are both blocked but the Lionsault hits for two. Ziggler comes back in and walks into the Codebreaker to get us down to four (Punk, Jericho, Miz, Kofi). Punk catches a Jericho dropkick and catapults Chris out to the cage again. Jericho gets rammed into the pods so he gets a finger into Punk's eye and hides in the pod. That works for about two seconds as Punk follows him in.
Punk's arm gets caught in the door and Jericho pulls on it to ram Punk into the pod door. Kofi remembers that he's alive and tries the SOS on the cage, driving his own head into the cage. Miz and Kofi are the only ones up now but Miz misses the running clothesline and Kingston goes up. A superplex is countered as Punk powerbombs Miz for two. Kofi climbs to the top of the pod and dives onto both of them but can't pin Miz.
Jericho comes in and Liontames Kofi for the elimination to get us down to three. He beats on Kofi after the elimination and throws him out of the Chamber. Punk kicks Jericho out of the Chamber and he's unconscious. The referees say he's done and say he's not responsive. I'm REALLY not liking them doing this a week after what happened to Sorensen. The cameraman is down too but sits up a few seconds later.
Back in the ring Miz tries the Reality Check but Punk counters with a high kick for two. The running knee and bulldog get two but Punk springboards into the Finale for two. Miz freaks out and talks a lot of trash in the corner but misses a charge, hitting his head on the pod. GTS puts him out at 32:39 and I guess Jericho isn't running in as a surprise since it's over.
We recap Santino getting his spot in the Chamber.
Santino drinks Raw eggs to Eugene's music and with a towel that looks like it has the All That logo on it.
Remember those overly long videos on Rock and Cena? Here's another one, this time on Cena's training regimen and the gym he goes to. Some developmental guys work out there. This one wastes four minutes of PPV time.
Divas Title: Tamina Snuka vs. Beth Phoenix
Beth is wearing something inspired by Piper. This match could be subtitled How many times can we remind you that Tamina is Jimmy Snuka's daughter in a last ditch effort to make you care about her. Tamina goes up quickly but gets knocked down to the outside. Beth pounds on her and Tamina barely gets back inside. Tamina gets up and hits a Samoan Drop but the Splash is broken up. Superplex gets two for Beth and Tamina chops her down. Superfly Splash gets two. Tamina goes up again but Beth brings her down, sends her into the buckle and the Glam Slam retains the title at 7:00.
Santino punches some meat.
Jericho can't talk.
Here's Ace for his big announcement. He's the Raw interim GM and he's heard complaints about Smackdown's GM Teddy Long. And never mind as here's Alberto Del Rio! He says Teddy is a dog and likes to play favorites. Alberto wants Ace to be permanent Raw GM and the GM of Smackdown too. That brings out Henry who Cole thought was suspended (wasn't he on Smackdown this week?).
Henry thinks Teddy is a bully who physically assaulted him. He supports the idea of Ace as permanent GM of both shows. Here's Christian in a hat. Christian says that Teddy has been negligent and Smackdown is an unsafe working environment. He endorses Ace for GM as well. Ace has a picture taken of all four of them and then a second one. Now one with Otunga in it as well. And that's that.
Santino runs some steps.
The Chamber is lowered. As in the ambulance match is main eventing ELIMINATION CHAMBER instead of an ELIMINATION CHAMBER.
Big Show says he has to win tonight.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Great Khali vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Santino Marella vs. Wade Barrett
Barrett and Big Show start in the ring. Show runs Barrett over to start but Barrett gets him down for one. They go outside and Show gets rammed into the cage door twice. Wade goes after the knee but Show kicks him off. We get a statement from Lawler saying that if you're knocked out (like Jericho was) that counts as a submission. Why do I have a feeling this won't be enforced later? Show wants Bryan as the buzzer goes off but gets Cody instead. Show is standing there waiting on him and things slow down a lot.
Cody gets thrown to the outside while Barrett is thrown back inside. Chokeslam to Barrett is countered and Wade chop blocks Show down. Cody and Barrett team up on Show and start fighting a few seconds later. Santino comes in fourth and after he hits his usual stuff, Show runs him over. Cody takes Show down by the knee though as the fans chant for Santino.
Barrett and Cody double suplex Show onto the steel to put him down. Cody hits the moonsault to Barrett and goes after Santino. No one is out yet. Rhodes rams the Cobra hand into the cage and Khali is in fifth. Chops and clotheslines for both heels and the Punjabi Plunge to Rhodes. One to Barrett as well and a chop to Santino. The giants face off and Show spears Khali for an elimination about 40 seconds after Khali entered.
Show keeps staring at Bryan and then even tries to reach in and grab him. He breaks the chains on the pod and has broken through. Bryan demands the door be opened but Show has broken in and climbed through the top. The place ERUPTS for this. The clock goes off to release Bryan but they're both inside the pod. Bryan manages to get out but Show does the required breaking the plexiglass spot. You know, THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR.
Into the ring now and Show loads up the right hand. Oh wait it's the chokeslam instead but Barrett kicks Show in the face before there's a cover. Santino pops up for a quick rollup for two on Barrett but is then thrown to the outside. Cody hits two Beautiful Disasters to Show followed by a DDT. Barrett hits a middle rope DDT and Big Show is gone to a big reaction. So it's Cody, Barrett, Bryan and Santino to go.
Make that three as Santino rolls up Cody to pin him. Cody hits Cross Rhodes to Santino. There's Cody's next feud I guess. Barrett covers Santino but it only gets two. Barrett hammers on him and ties Santino's arms in the Chamber wall. The beating continues on Santino for awhile until Bryan gets back up with a flying knee to Barrett. Bryan goes up but Barrett knocks him part of the way into it again by the back of the head.
Barrett loads up Wasteland off the middle rope but Santino breaks it up because he's an idiot. Santino tries a superplex but gets shoved off. He avoids an elbow and Bryan hits a top rope headbutt, allowing Santino to steal the pin, meaning he's eliminated Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett. Bryan is very happy to see what he's up against as it's one on one now. It turns into a cat and mouse game and Santino even gets the Cobra for two. The LeBell Lock goes on and Santino taps at 33:57.
Here's Sheamus post match who takes Bryan out.
Time for unfunny comedy with Natalya. Cheese is present. Horny says that jack cheese is his favorite. Jack Swagger gets a cameo with Vickie, prompting a cottage cheese line. Justin Gabriel gets in Jack's face so Teddy makes our filler match. Jack says that one man should run both shows. Teddy agrees but says it should be him. The match is for the title.
Buy Rock's new DVD!
US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel
Please change the title. Swagger controls to start and hits the Vader Bomb for no cover. Gabriel gets in some basic offense but Swagger grabs the ankle lock and wins by submission at 3:00. Of all the matches I've ever seen added to a PPV to fill in time, this was one of them.
Undertaker will be on Raw tomorrow.
We recap Cena vs. Kane. Kane wants Cena to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena then hurts Ryder to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena then hurts Ryder then makes Cena make out with a hot woman to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Conclusion? Ambulance match, duh.
John Cena vs. Kane
You win by putting your opponent in the ambulance and having it driven out of the arena. You know Walt Disney was an ambulance driver in World War I when he was about 14. True story. Kane's broken leg by Henry has been changed into a self imposed exile. Ok then. Cena charges to start and they head to the floor. They fight by the ambulance and use some of the stuff inside it as well.
Back to the ring and Kane goes into the steps but takes over anyway. Kane hits the side slam but Cena ducks the clothesline. He hits some of his signature stuff but the AA is countered into a smother. Cena goes down and is out cold so Kane throws him to the floor. He goes under the ring and pulls out a wheelchair. Well at least he's making sure Cena is comfortable.
Cena escapes the chair and they fight to the ambulance again. Kane gets slammed into the vehicle and put into the chair. Cena rolls the chair into some production stuff. They fight into the tech area and Cena goes all beast mode. He asks Booker if this gets him a spot in the Fave Five and rams the steps into Kane's head. John sets up the steps and tries to AA Kane through the table but Kane reverses into a chokeslam through it instead.
Kane goes up to the ambulance and gets a stretcher on wheels. Kane gets him in the ambulance but can't close the second door. Cena kicks it into Kane's face and they fight to the cab of the ambulance. John climbs onto the roof of the cab and then on top of the ambulance. They slug it out up there and Cena AA's Kane off the ambulance into a conveniently placed area we can't see. At least you couldn't see the crash pad. He puts Kane in, closes the doors and it's over at 21:21.
Results
CM Punk b. The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Chris Jericho and R-Truth Punk last eliminated The Miz after a GTS
Beth Phoenix b. Tamina Snuka Glam Slam
Daniel Bryan b. Great Khali, Big Show, Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes and Santino Marella Bryan last eliminated Marella with the LeBell Lock
Jack Swagger b. Justin Gabriel Ankle Lock
John Cena b. Kane Cena put Kane in the ambulance
Quick Results
Raw
Chris Jericho b. Kofi Kingston Codebreaker
Randy Orton b. Big Show via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered
R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler Small Package
Tamina Snuka b. Brie Bella Superfly Splash
CM Punk b. The Miz Anaconda Vice
NXT
Tyson Kidd b. Curt Hawkins Sharpshooter
Titus O'Neil b. Yoshi Tatsu Clash of the Titus
Percy Watson b. Michael McGillicutty Persecution
Derrick Bateman/Justin Gabriel b. Heath Slater/Johnny Curtis Sweet Meat Sizzler to Slater
Impact Wrestling
Bobby Roode b. Jeff Hardy Spear
Zema Ion/Austin Aries b. Alex Shelley/Shannon Moore Rollup to Shelley
Madison Rayne won a battle royal last eliminating Velvet Sky
James Storm b. Bully Ray Last Call
Smackdown
Big Show/Great Khali b. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes Chokeslam to Barrett
Hunico b. Ted DiBiase Rollup
Primo/Epico b. The Usos Backstabber to Jey Uso
Daniel Bryan b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus shoved the referee
Jinder Mahal b. Ezekiel Jackson Camel Clutch
Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya Superfly Splash to Natalya
Santino Marella won a battle royal last eliminating David Otunga
Elimination Chamber 2012
CM Punk b. The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Chris Jericho and R-Truth Punk last eliminated The Miz after a GTS
Beth Phoenix b. Tamina Snuka Glam Slam
Daniel Bryan b. Great Khali, Big Show, Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes and Santino Marella Bryan last eliminated Marella with the LeBell Lock
Jack Swagger b. Justin Gabriel Ankle Lock
John Cena b. Kane Cena put Kane in the ambulance
Impact got a 1.1, the same as last week.
Smackdown
Date: February 17, 2012
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T
This is the final show before the Elimination Chamber. By the time you read this you'll know that Orton is out of the Chamber so tonight it's all about finding a replacement. Other than that, I wouldn't expect a ton of stuff to be talked about. I mean it's not like there needs to be stories for a show like this. Why should the writers need to waste time on character development or plots when they can just throw everyone in a cage and put their feet up for three weeks? Let's get to it.
The opening video is about the Show vs. Orton match from Raw. That Super DDT was kind of cool. Bryan hit Orton twice with the belt which gave him a concussion. I've heard conflicting reports about whether that's a legit injury or if he was injured somewhere else and that's their story for taking him out.
Orton is in Teddy's office and Teddy says its out of both of their hands. Teddy can't let him compete because he's not medically cleared. Security is going to escort him out of the building because Teddy is concerned about his health. We're officially told that Orton is out of the Chamber.
Do you know your enemy? Mine is procrastination.
Big Show/Great Khali vs. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes
Now Barrett and Rhodes lost last week, so the logical move would be to have them win here to get their heat back going into the Chamber. Barrett starts with Khali. Wade tries to kick him in the side but Khali shoves him down. Khali chops him in the corner so Barrett tags out. Cody has even less luck and tags out also.
Before he leaves though he kicks Khali in the knee which lets Barrett kick him in the head to knock him down. Cody hooks a quick chinlock but Khali shrugs him off and tags in Big Show. He cleans house and spears Barrett down. Cody gets knocked out of the air and the chokeslam pins Wade clean at 3:32.
Big Show knocks Khali out post match.
Teddy is on the phone and says he doesn't know what he's going to do about the empty spot. Henry shows up and says he wants the spot. Teddy looks like he's thinking about it. Big Show comes in before Teddy answers and says he wants Daniel Bryan tonight. Henry says wait your turn. Show knocks him out too. He tells Teddy to give him what he wants and then destroys Teddy's office.
Video on the UAE tour.
Teddy tells security to wait for Big Show to calm down and then escort him out of the building. One of the guards says no way so Teddy says he'll call for backup.
Ted DiBiase vs. Hunico
Ted's cast is smaller this week. Hopefully this is the end of the dull feud. Hunico beats him into the corner to start but Teddy counters and beats him down as well. Big boot gets two for DiBiase. Hunico works on Ted's bad arm/wrist but DiBiase slams him to the mat. DiBiase dropkicks him out of the air but Camacho hits DiBiase, allowing Hunico to roll him up and grab the tights for the pin at 1:45. Now GET THEM SOMETHING NEW TO DO!
Short version of the Shawn/HHH/Undertaker segment from Raw.
Usos vs. Epico/Primo
Great. ANOTHER match we've seen twice already. Primo and Jey start us off. The Usos double team to get control but Jimmy goes to the corner and Primo slams him off. He gets double teamed in the champions' corner as Booker and Cole get into it again. Cole was doing well about staying on focus to start too.
Primo hooks a chinlock but misses a corner dropkick, tying him up in the Tree of Woe. There's the tag to Jay as well as Epico. The crowd is into the Usos, as usual. The Umaga running corner shot misses but a Samoan Drop gets two. Backstabber by Primo misses and there's the superkick. Jey's Superfly Splash hits knees and the Backstabber gets the pin at 4:45.
Big Show has left the arena willingly.
Bryan is here.
Video on the Chamber.
Here's Bryan in the arena. Bryan says on Monday he got two for one. We see a clip of Bryan hitting Orton and Show with the title on Raw. He says that if either of them had any guts, they'd be out here facing him right now. However they're both afraid. Everyone is afraid of Daniel Bryan. Everyone is afraid of tapping out because he just keeps winning. He's proven all of us wrong and he'll do it again on Sunday. He would have won tonight and he'll win on Sunday. Orton isn't here but he wants Lillian to announce him as the winner via forfeit. She does and Bryan does the huge celebration to his music.
Here's Teddy to say hold on a minute playa. He says Bryan hasn't competed yet, which is what everyone wants to see. It won't be Orton, but there's a volunteer to take his place.
Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan
Sheamus takes him down with a headlock and works on the arm to open up. Bryan comes back with some kicks but Sheamus punches him in the ribs. There are the ten forearms in the rope and thankfully they stopped calling it whatever that Irish word they had given it. Bryan tries to walk out but Sheamus runs him over. Bryan gets up on the apron and hits the running knee to the head. Back in and Bryan hits a dropkick to the ribs.
Sheamus fires back with right hands but Bryan picks the ankle to stop him. A running low dropkick in the corner gives the champion control again. This is the most offense anyone has gotten in on Sheamus in months. He blocks the kicks and makes his comeback, hitting a powerslam for two.
Irish Curse is countered into a LeBell Lock attempt. Sheamus rolls out of it but Bryan escapes the Celtic Cross. Sheamus goes after him in the corner and Bryan slaps him. The referee pulls him back and I think Bryan spits on him (the camera cut away) and that's enough for Sheamus to throw the referee down for the DQ at 6:45.
Barrett wants to know who Orton's replacement is. Cody wants to know also. Teddy says there's a battle royal tonight with anyone in WWE, from Raw to Smackdown to Superstars to NXT.
The Rock is a movie star! This is much shorter than the one on Raw, thank goodness.
Jinder Mahal vs. Ezekiel Jackson
Mahal hits a bunch of knees to the ribs as Cole suggests Johnny Curtis could head to the Chamber. Jackson runs him over in the corner and hits a side slam. The Rack is countered and Mahal hits a DDT. He hooks the camel clutch but Zeke gets out of it. A Downward Spiral sets up another camel clutch (how does that hurt the back any more?) which gets the tap at 2:06. Zeke is done. I mean he's just DONE.
Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya
Beth grabs Alicia to start and Fox dropkicks her down. Off to Natalya and we get a nice gymnastics demonstration from them. Natalya slides to the floor and comes back in to drop Fox for two. Beth adds in a kick to keep Fox in trouble. Natalya hooks the Sharpshooter... and the referee doesn't see the tap because Natalya's stupid gimmick makes him need a breath of fresh air. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? It allows Tamina to come in and hit the Samoan Drop and Superfly Splash for the pin at 2:52. I hate the Divas because of stupid stuff like this. Seriously, if this is the best they can come up with for them, drop the division.
Tamina knocks Beth out post match but she avoids the splash.
Ace and Otunga come to see Teddy. Ace says the Chamber is about charisma and star power. He suggests just putting Otunga in the Chamber instead of having the battle royal. Teddy says Otunga has the stink of a lawyer. What's with the smell nonsense on this show lately?
Recap of the Cena/Kane/Ryder stuff from Monday.
Battle Royal
I'm not going to try to list off everyone in it. Imagine every non-main event guy and he's probably in this. Otunga gets his own entrance. The NXT guys are in there. Bateman is the first out and it's a standard battle royal: everyone is fighting and there's no point in talking about anything other than eliminations until we get down to about five people. Watson is gone. Titus and an Uso follow him. Drew gorilla presses Kidd out.
DiBiase low bridges Darren Young and they both hang on to the rope to avoid elimination. DiBiase kicks him in the stomach and Young is gone. The ring is clearing out a bit but there are still too many people to count. Hunico throws Tatsu out. DiBiase knocks Camacho out as does Gabriel to McGillicutty. We take a break and come back with not much having changed.
There are about twelve people left. Make that about eleven as Hawkins is out. Riley tries the TKO on either Epico or Primo for some reason but he gets double teamed and tossed. The champs try to do the same to Reks but decide that's not good enough, so they throw Curtis at Reks to get rid of both of them. They throw the other Uso out as well, then Primo dumps Epico.
Ok it's down to manageable now. Hunico dumps DiBiase but DiBiase pulls him out too to keep their feud going. Gabriel and Primo throw each other to the apron but both save themselves. The camera won't stay on a wide shot long enough for me to list off everyone in still. The both go to the apron twice more until Gabriel finally knocks Primo to the floor. Jackson knocks Gabriel out too.
It's Otunga, Jackson, Mahal (elimianted as I type that), McIntyre and Santino. Santino loads up the Cobra but Otunga and McIntyre jump him. Drew is running over everyone with big boots....and then Santino dumps him. Otunga tries to throw out Santino but Jackson saves him. The fans are all chanting for Santino and he ducks under Jackson to put him out.
It's Santino vs. Otunga. Santino Italianadians up and hits the Cobra but Otunga gets in a right hand to stop the momentum. A horrible neckbreaker takes Marella down. He goes to throw Santino out but is reversed and eliminated to give Santino the win at 13:12 shown of 16:42. Cole: WE REPLACED A VIPER WITH A COBRA???
Santino celebrates to end the show.
Results
Big Show/Great Khali b. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes Chokeslam to Barrett
Hunico b. Ted DiBiase Rollup
Primo/Epico b. The Usos Backstabber to Jey Uso
Daniel Bryan b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus shoved the referee
Jinder Mahal b. Ezekiel Jackson Camel Clutch
Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya Superfly Splash to Natalya
Santino Marella won a battle royal last eliminating David Otunga
Saturday
Same result as always on Saturday.
Sunday
Elimination Chamber 2012
Date: February 19, 2012
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler
This is the final stop on the Road to Wrestlemania, or the beginning of the road, depending on how you look at it. The even money would seem to be on both of the champions retaining here but you can never be sure. I mean, Santino is scheduled to be in this match so how sure can you be? Let's get to it.
The opening video is exactly what you would imagine it is.
The Chamber is lowered.
Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho vs. R-Truth vs. The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston
Jericho enters last due to winning a match on Raw two weeks ago. Punk and Kofi start us off. Naturally the two faces wrestle as faces. Also they're not going to use a lot of energy this early in the match. Kofi goes to the ropes but might have slipped a bit. It was nothing bad though. They trade pinfall reversals and Kofi avoids the GTS. Punk avoids the Boom Drop and they go to the outside. Well as to the outside as you can go.
Punk blocks a kick and slingshots Kofi into the pod which has a great thud sound effect. Back into the ring but Punk has hurt his hip. It was probably due to that time when he got slammed out on the chain and landed on his hip, but that's just speculation. Here's the first pod opening and it's.....a guy in pink trunks. The new idea they want to push is that it can go from a one on one match to a triple threat and so on. Great, another thing to have drilled into our heads.
Ziggler goes after Punk and does pullups on the Chamber wall. He splashes Kofi back in the ring and we're told that pins have to take place in there. Good thing to clarify. A splash attempt on Punk misses and everyone is in some trouble. Punk and Kofi double team Dolph and go to the outside for a double springboard. In a cool looking visual, they both dive at Dolph but collide in the air off the springboards due to Dolph ducking.
Dolph can't cover though so we open pod #2 after about three minutes. It's R-Truth who works on the pink one. He's no Bret Hart. Truth knocks Ziggler over the ropes to send Dolph leg first into the cage. Truth dives on top of him because he's not that smart all the time. Scissors kick gets two in the ring. Punk does his usual ramming his head into the other guy's ear to call a spot before superplexing Truth for two.
Trouble in Paradise misses Punk and Kofi gets thrown to the outside. Macho Elbow eliminates Truth but Ziggler grabs a rollup. Punk rolls through it and Kofi hits the kick on Punk (looked SICK). Ziggler goes after Kofi of course but Kofi fights him off. He can only get two on the champ though due to the delay. Kofi does the springboard into the Spider-Man cage grab then hits a tornado DDT Dolph onto the cage, basically knocking him silly.
Here's Miz in fifth to clean house. Everyone is down now so Miz covers Dolph, getting two. Kofi gets up on the ropes and kicks Miz in the face but is knocked off and crashes into the cage. GTS and Finale are both blocked so Miz hits the short DDT for two. They head to the mat and Punk grabs the Vice on Miz, but wouldn't you know it, Jericho comes in to break it up before the tap.
Jericho and Punk square off with Jericho in control. Walls and GTS are both blocked but the Lionsault hits for two. Ziggler comes back in and walks into the Codebreaker to get us down to four (Punk, Jericho, Miz, Kofi). Punk catches a Jericho dropkick and catapults Chris out to the cage again. Jericho gets rammed into the pods so he gets a finger into Punk's eye and hides in the pod. That works for about two seconds as Punk follows him in.
Punk's arm gets caught in the door and Jericho pulls on it to ram Punk into the pod door. Kofi remembers that he's alive and tries the SOS on the cage, driving his own head into the cage. Miz and Kofi are the only ones up now but Miz misses the running clothesline and Kingston goes up. A superplex is countered as Punk powerbombs Miz for two. Kofi climbs to the top of the pod and dives onto both of them but can't pin Miz.
Jericho comes in and Liontames Kofi for the elimination to get us down to three. He beats on Kofi after the elimination and throws him out of the Chamber. Punk kicks Jericho out of the Chamber and he's unconscious. The referees say he's done and say he's not responsive. I'm REALLY not liking them doing this a week after what happened to Sorensen. The cameraman is down too but sits up a few seconds later.
Back in the ring Miz tries the Reality Check but Punk counters with a high kick for two. The running knee and bulldog get two but Punk springboards into the Finale for two. Miz freaks out and talks a lot of trash in the corner but misses a charge, hitting his head on the pod. GTS puts him out at 32:39 and I guess Jericho isn't running in as a surprise since it's over.
We recap Santino getting his spot in the Chamber.
Santino drinks Raw eggs to Eugene's music and with a towel that looks like it has the All That logo on it.
Remember those overly long videos on Rock and Cena? Here's another one, this time on Cena's training regimen and the gym he goes to. Some developmental guys work out there. This one wastes four minutes of PPV time.
Divas Title: Tamina Snuka vs. Beth Phoenix
Beth is wearing something inspired by Piper. This match could be subtitled How many times can we remind you that Tamina is Jimmy Snuka's daughter in a last ditch effort to make you care about her. Tamina goes up quickly but gets knocked down to the outside. Beth pounds on her and Tamina barely gets back inside. Tamina gets up and hits a Samoan Drop but the Splash is broken up. Superplex gets two for Beth and Tamina chops her down. Superfly Splash gets two. Tamina goes up again but Beth brings her down, sends her into the buckle and the Glam Slam retains the title at 7:00.
Santino punches some meat.
Jericho can't talk.
Here's Ace for his big announcement. He's the Raw interim GM and he's heard complaints about Smackdown's GM Teddy Long. And never mind as here's Alberto Del Rio! He says Teddy is a dog and likes to play favorites. Alberto wants Ace to be permanent Raw GM and the GM of Smackdown too. That brings out Henry who Cole thought was suspended (wasn't he on Smackdown this week?).
Henry thinks Teddy is a bully who physically assaulted him. He supports the idea of Ace as permanent GM of both shows. Here's Christian in a hat. Christian says that Teddy has been negligent and Smackdown is an unsafe working environment. He endorses Ace for GM as well. Ace has a picture taken of all four of them and then a second one. Now one with Otunga in it as well. And that's that.
Santino runs some steps.
The Chamber is lowered. As in the ambulance match is main eventing ELIMINATION CHAMBER instead of an ELIMINATION CHAMBER.
Big Show says he has to win tonight.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Great Khali vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Santino Marella vs. Wade Barrett
Barrett and Big Show start in the ring. Show runs Barrett over to start but Barrett gets him down for one. They go outside and Show gets rammed into the cage door twice. Wade goes after the knee but Show kicks him off. We get a statement from Lawler saying that if you're knocked out (like Jericho was) that counts as a submission. Why do I have a feeling this won't be enforced later? Show wants Bryan as the buzzer goes off but gets Cody instead. Show is standing there waiting on him and things slow down a lot.
Cody gets thrown to the outside while Barrett is thrown back inside. Chokeslam to Barrett is countered and Wade chop blocks Show down. Cody and Barrett team up on Show and start fighting a few seconds later. Santino comes in fourth and after he hits his usual stuff, Show runs him over. Cody takes Show down by the knee though as the fans chant for Santino.
Barrett and Cody double suplex Show onto the steel to put him down. Cody hits the moonsault to Barrett and goes after Santino. No one is out yet. Rhodes rams the Cobra hand into the cage and Khali is in fifth. Chops and clotheslines for both heels and the Punjabi Plunge to Rhodes. One to Barrett as well and a chop to Santino. The giants face off and Show spears Khali for an elimination about 40 seconds after Khali entered.
Show keeps staring at Bryan and then even tries to reach in and grab him. He breaks the chains on the pod and has broken through. Bryan demands the door be opened but Show has broken in and climbed through the top. The place ERUPTS for this. The clock goes off to release Bryan but they're both inside the pod. Bryan manages to get out but Show does the required breaking the plexiglass spot. You know, THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR.
Into the ring now and Show loads up the right hand. Oh wait it's the chokeslam instead but Barrett kicks Show in the face before there's a cover. Santino pops up for a quick rollup for two on Barrett but is then thrown to the outside. Cody hits two Beautiful Disasters to Show followed by a DDT. Barrett hits a middle rope DDT and Big Show is gone to a big reaction. So it's Cody, Barrett, Bryan and Santino to go.
Make that three as Santino rolls up Cody to pin him. Cody hits Cross Rhodes to Santino. There's Cody's next feud I guess. Barrett covers Santino but it only gets two. Barrett hammers on him and ties Santino's arms in the Chamber wall. The beating continues on Santino for awhile until Bryan gets back up with a flying knee to Barrett. Bryan goes up but Barrett knocks him part of the way into it again by the back of the head.
Barrett loads up Wasteland off the middle rope but Santino breaks it up because he's an idiot. Santino tries a superplex but gets shoved off. He avoids an elbow and Bryan hits a top rope headbutt, allowing Santino to steal the pin, meaning he's eliminated Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett. Bryan is very happy to see what he's up against as it's one on one now. It turns into a cat and mouse game and Santino even gets the Cobra for two. The LeBell Lock goes on and Santino taps at 33:57.
Here's Sheamus post match who takes Bryan out.
Time for unfunny comedy with Natalya. Cheese is present. Horny says that jack cheese is his favorite. Jack Swagger gets a cameo with Vickie, prompting a cottage cheese line. Justin Gabriel gets in Jack's face so Teddy makes our filler match. Jack says that one man should run both shows. Teddy agrees but says it should be him. The match is for the title.
Buy Rock's new DVD!
US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel
Please change the title. Swagger controls to start and hits the Vader Bomb for no cover. Gabriel gets in some basic offense but Swagger grabs the ankle lock and wins by submission at 3:00. Of all the matches I've ever seen added to a PPV to fill in time, this was one of them.
Undertaker will be on Raw tomorrow.
We recap Cena vs. Kane. Kane wants Cena to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena then hurts Ryder to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Kane does something bad to Cena then hurts Ryder then makes Cena make out with a hot woman to get him to embrace the hate, Cena says no. Conclusion? Ambulance match, duh.
John Cena vs. Kane
You win by putting your opponent in the ambulance and having it driven out of the arena. You know Walt Disney was an ambulance driver in World War I when he was about 14. True story. Kane's broken leg by Henry has been changed into a self imposed exile. Ok then. Cena charges to start and they head to the floor. They fight by the ambulance and use some of the stuff inside it as well.
Back to the ring and Kane goes into the steps but takes over anyway. Kane hits the side slam but Cena ducks the clothesline. He hits some of his signature stuff but the AA is countered into a smother. Cena goes down and is out cold so Kane throws him to the floor. He goes under the ring and pulls out a wheelchair. Well at least he's making sure Cena is comfortable.
Cena escapes the chair and they fight to the ambulance again. Kane gets slammed into the vehicle and put into the chair. Cena rolls the chair into some production stuff. They fight into the tech area and Cena goes all beast mode. He asks Booker if this gets him a spot in the Fave Five and rams the steps into Kane's head. John sets up the steps and tries to AA Kane through the table but Kane reverses into a chokeslam through it instead.
Kane goes up to the ambulance and gets a stretcher on wheels. Kane gets him in the ambulance but can't close the second door. Cena kicks it into Kane's face and they fight to the cab of the ambulance. John climbs onto the roof of the cab and then on top of the ambulance. They slug it out up there and Cena AA's Kane off the ambulance into a conveniently placed area we can't see. At least you couldn't see the crash pad. He puts Kane in, closes the doors and it's over at 21:21.
Results
CM Punk b. The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Chris Jericho and R-Truth Punk last eliminated The Miz after a GTS
Beth Phoenix b. Tamina Snuka Glam Slam
Daniel Bryan b. Great Khali, Big Show, Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes and Santino Marella Bryan last eliminated Marella with the LeBell Lock
Jack Swagger b. Justin Gabriel Ankle Lock
John Cena b. Kane Cena put Kane in the ambulance
Quick Results
Raw
Chris Jericho b. Kofi Kingston Codebreaker
Randy Orton b. Big Show via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered
R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler Small Package
Tamina Snuka b. Brie Bella Superfly Splash
CM Punk b. The Miz Anaconda Vice
NXT
Tyson Kidd b. Curt Hawkins Sharpshooter
Titus O'Neil b. Yoshi Tatsu Clash of the Titus
Percy Watson b. Michael McGillicutty Persecution
Derrick Bateman/Justin Gabriel b. Heath Slater/Johnny Curtis Sweet Meat Sizzler to Slater
Impact Wrestling
Bobby Roode b. Jeff Hardy Spear
Zema Ion/Austin Aries b. Alex Shelley/Shannon Moore Rollup to Shelley
Madison Rayne won a battle royal last eliminating Velvet Sky
James Storm b. Bully Ray Last Call
Smackdown
Big Show/Great Khali b. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes Chokeslam to Barrett
Hunico b. Ted DiBiase Rollup
Primo/Epico b. The Usos Backstabber to Jey Uso
Daniel Bryan b. Sheamus via DQ when Sheamus shoved the referee
Jinder Mahal b. Ezekiel Jackson Camel Clutch
Tamina Snuka/Alicia Fox b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya Superfly Splash to Natalya
Santino Marella won a battle royal last eliminating David Otunga
Elimination Chamber 2012
CM Punk b. The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Chris Jericho and R-Truth Punk last eliminated The Miz after a GTS
Beth Phoenix b. Tamina Snuka Glam Slam
Daniel Bryan b. Great Khali, Big Show, Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes and Santino Marella Bryan last eliminated Marella with the LeBell Lock
Jack Swagger b. Justin Gabriel Ankle Lock
John Cena b. Kane Cena put Kane in the ambulance