klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Lillian Garcia is going to be the Smackdown announcer again. The company just got a lot prettier.
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 5, 2011
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Mic
hael Cole, Jerry Lawler
There are two shows left before TLC and one of them is the Slammies so this is going to be a normal show by comparison. Last week's show rocked so let's hope this one can do the same. For some reason they're trying to push the idea that all of a sudden Cena is having so many issues with the fans after saying for years that its their right. As usual, WWE doesn't get that some people have no idea what they're talking about. Let's get to it.
Here's Cena to kick things off. He talks about last week with Piper and how the fans have a mixed reaction to him. He says that he knows the fans aren't all in love with him, but without them, there's no show. Without the fans, there's no work. Therefore, every fan has earned the right to think whatever they want about him.
However, the thing that mattered last week was the slap to the face of Cena. He kind of drops that though and starts talking about CM Punk. He says that the only thing bigger than Rock vs. Cena at Wrestlemania is Rock vs. Cena for the WWE Title at Wrestlemania. That brings out Del Rio. Oh geez not a #1 contender match between these two. Del Rio brings up the If Punk gets disqualified he loses the title thing from last week and shows the clip of the GTS to the exposed buckle last week.
That brings out Vickie with Ziggler. She says it should be Dolph that should get the title shot. I can't really argue with that one. Dolph says he'll be a dual champion and blah blah blah. Cena says Dolph is the Show Off now (because he heard Cole say it 25 times last week) but it should be Jerk Off. Ziggler says if the two of you want to have a #1 contender match for the US Title, go ahead. Cena says that the US Title shot belongs to Zack Ryder.
After Ziggler talks about how that's a dead horse, here's Miz because we don't have enough people out there yet. We get some clips of Miz beating up Morrison and Truth, along with an announcement that Morrison has been released. Miz says that the Slammies are next week and he'll be superstar of the year.
As he's talking, here's Johnny Ace who says he's not boring. I had to rewind things because I dozed off there. Tonight there are going to be four matches, each pitting one of these guys against a Smackdown guy. The winners will ALL go to the WWE Title match at TLC. Oh wait not Cena because he's in a special match called a social experiment which Ace will tell him about later. Miz's match is right now against this man.
The Miz vs. Randy Orton
Basic start with neither guy really being able to take over. Orton tries to speed things up but Miz takes over with a Garvin Stomp and a running shot for two. Time for the chinlock and now we're off to Twitterville. Orton makes his comeback and hits the powerslam. They head to the floor and Orton slams him again. Cue Barrett for the distraction at a count of eight and Orton goes after him. Miz wins via countout at 4:32.
Video on WWE Network. It's coming in 2012.
Ryder wants to talk to Ryder about the petition and says it doesn't matter. Cue Cena in Ryder gear who goes on a rant about the match that Ace has planned for him. He even makes a Back to the Future reference for some reason. The Social Experiment is a match with Ryder. Uh....ok? If Ryder wins, he gets a US Title match. If Cena wins, he's in the title match at TLC.
Otunga says that it's Nash vs. HHH in a ladder match. Why? Apparently there's going to be a sledgehammer above the ring and whoever gets it first gets to use it. Nash is cool with that. Nash starts to leave and Otunga says Nash has a match. He doesn't care who it is.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan
Bryan is all taped up from the cage match on Tuesday. Del Rio works over the ribs to start (psychology as always), even draping him over the top rope. And then the cross armbreaker ends this at 1:48. That's pretty much a squash, but at least Bryan was injured coming in.
Tribute to the Troops is next week.
Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix
If I didn't write reviews for these shows, I'd be off to find a hot pretzel. We get a message from the heels but we get interrupted by a second coming video. He arrives on January 2, 2012. Ok then. And then announcers ignore it. Beth starts with Kelly and Kelly gets beaten down....and then Kelly hooks a small package for the pin at 1:10.
John Cena vs. Zack Ryder
This feels like a big match. Think about that for a second. Both guys are tentative to start. They fight over a long headlock and the fans are split as usual. Hip toss gets two for Cena. Notice something here: Cena is respecting Ryder and that's the biggest rub Ryder can get. Ryder grabs a spinning neckbreaker for two. This is very slow.
A tornado DDT gets two for Ryder and he loads up the Rough Ryder. Cena ducks and initiates his finishing sequence. The AA is countered and Ryder puts him in the corner. Broski Boot looks to set up another Rough Ryder but Cena catches him in mid air and the AA is enough for the pin at 6:47.
Ryder is mad post match and Cena says hang on a second before running to the back.
Cena comes up to Ace and Otunag in the back. He shouts Otunga out and tells Ace to listen to the people and make Ryder #1 contender to Ziggler. Ace says no because Ryder blew it. Cena gets in his face and says be creative. Ace says Cena has to give up his title match at TLC. Cena isn't sure of course but says he's a ten time champion because he got opportunities along the way. Cena drops out and Ryder has to face....someone still. Ok then.
Kane is still coming again. That's different than the Jan 2 thing. This video shows pictures of big named stars and Kane punching through a piece of glass. He puts the mask back on and opens his eye...then drops the mask which is on fire. It says his name this time. No date is given.
Otunga tells Robers to make this in essence a street fight.
Zack Ryder vs. Mark Henry
I think I smell interference. Henry has a bad ankle/leg here. Ryder gets beaten down like a chump to start which to be fair, he's in over his head. Ryder gets him down for a second and rams the leg into the post. Cue Cena who hits the AA on Henry and throws Ryder on top for the pin at 2:20.
Vickie says she can't get the decision reversed. Oh and Ziggler has to fight Sheamus later.
Kevin Nash vs. Santino Marella
Nash hits a side slam to start. Cole: One, two, kick out by Santino...for some reason. Powerbomb ends this at 1:03.
Post match Nash picks up the hammer but doesn't hit Marella with it.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus
Feeling out process to start until Ziggler hits a GREAT dropkick for two. Sheamus is like Irish story! and hammers away with the forearms to the chest. Ziggler hooks a chinlock and a Fameasser gets two. Ziggler chokes again but Sheamus fights back, hitting a forearm in the corner. He loads up the High Cross but Ziggler escapes and Sheamus hits the post. Here's Ryder for the distraction so that the Brogue Kick can keep Ziggler out of the world title match at 4:32.
Rough Ryder to Ziggler post match.
Del Rio and Miz are in the ring and here's Ace as well. He mentions Clay debuting but it hasn't happened yet. Henry vs. Cena next week. Here's Punk for the contract signing. Punk pulls the table back to him and says this is the biggest WWE staple cliché there is. They always end in a brawl (which he'd love to have trending on Twitter) and since there's no such thing as creativity by Ace, he figured we'd have the first peaceful one of these since Mania III.
Punk tells Ace to play Jack Tunney so we can sign this and get to brawling. Ace makes it a TLC match at the PPV and Punk is cool with that. Punk runs both guys down and Miz says that he took Truth and Morrison out. Punk: Like on a date? I bet it was to that new Twilight movie. NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT! Funnier in delivery. Ace looks right at the camera and wishes Morrison the best in his future endeavors.
Miz says he's a must see start, Punk says he doesn't care. He's not about TMZ but about being the best wrestler in the world. Alberto jumps in and says they're crying too much. He says his usual stuff and Punk cuts him off, saying if Del Rio talks about destiny again then he'll start drinking. Del Rio says just sign it and Punk wants to know if they can fight after that. Punk signs and I must have missed the heels signing.
Ace wishes them all luck and asks a WWE.com photographer in for a photo op. Punk: EVEN YOUR CONTRACT SIGNINGS ARE BORING! With that he blasts Miz and the brawl finally gets going. Ricardo is loaded into the GTS so Del Rio hits Punk low. Del Rio stops to move furniture around but Miz runs in and tries the Finale on Del Rio. Punk breaks that up and hits the bulldog out of the corner to Del Rio through the table. A GTS to Miz and Punk stands tall to end the show.
Results
The Miz b. Randy Orton via countout
Alberto Del Rio b. Daniel Bryan Cross Armbreaker
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Natalya/Beth Phoenix
John Cena b. Zack Ryder AA
Zack Ryder b. Mark Henry Pin after an AA from John Cena
Kevin Nash b. Santino Marella Jackknife Powerbomb
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler Brogue Kick
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.0, which is bad considering what it was up against on MNF.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: December 7, 2011
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Matt Striker, Josh Matthews
Into December we go with more NXT nonsense. After last week's shocking, yes SHOCKING I say, ending with Maxine leaving with Johnny Curtis, I think we have a theme for the week. Hopefully we get more Usos and less Bateman this time as I can only take so much of that curly haired lunkhead. Let's get to it.
The Usos open us up with the Siva Tao. That would be so awesome at a high school football game. They're here for a match but first do the We say Us, you say O deal with the audience and again it gets a solid response. However before we get to the popular tag team that puts on good matches, here's Bateman to talk about Maxine. The Usos say Tamina lied last week and Bateman runs off.
Usos vs. Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins
Hawkins vs. Jimmy to start us off and we're told that Striker and Hawkins are from the same neighborhood. Off to Reks and he has about as much success as Hawkins. We're told that the Usos both played college football at the University of Hawaii. Stereo clotheslines put the non-relatives on the floor. Reks takes over on I think Jey and knocks him to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Hawkins grabbing a chinlock. Jey fights off as Josh makes fun of Matt's commentary. A spinning forearm takes down Curt and it's off to Jimmy. The momentum shifts (or the pendulum has swung for you Monsoon enthusiasts) and Jimmy takes over on Reks. The Umaga corner shot gets two. Reks hits a clothesline and puts on a Torture Rack, but Jimmy comes out with a bulldog for two. The Usos beat down both guys with kicks and a top rope splash pins Reks at 8:35.
Bateman is looking for Maxine and runs into Maxine's mom. She flirts with him and Curtis comes up. Mama Maxine slaps Bateman and implies that he started it. She leaves and Curtis said he didn't try anything with Maxine. He was with Bateman's mom last week though. That makes Bateman yell and charge like an idiot but he gets stopped before the beatdown. Does ANYONE care about Derrick Bateman? Seriously?
Tyler Reks/Percy Watson vs. JTG/Darren Young
My goodness this looks boring. Watson vs. JTG to get us going as Striker makes ****e jokes about Maxine's mama, whose name is first name Portia Perez. Now they're stealing SHIMMER names. Watson and JTG exchange some basic stuff and it's off to Young, who hits a belly to back suplex on the apron. Back to Jimmy the Gimmick who grabs an odd neckbreaker for two.
JTG slaps on a seated abdominal stretch for awhile and then it's a chinlock. What a variety. Watson fires off a dropkick to a jumping JTG and Titus finally gets into this after about five and a half minutes. He beats up both guys and hits a shoulderbreaker for two on Young. Tamina gets on the apron as a distraction and Young gets a rollup pin at 6:40. That ending came out of nowhere and was pretty bad.
Titus is upset about the loss and talks about the show running for 39 weeks. He said Young doesn't care about the people and gets booed for it. Titus is booed for it I mean. He issues a challenge for next week against Young, saying it's about being a man, not Redemption. Here's the problem: as it stands, there's nothing on the line about this match/fight. If one of them wins so what? If the other one of them wins so what? That's the problem with this show.
Video on the WWE Network. I need to look into getting that.
Derrick Bateman vs. Johnny Curtis
We have about 9 minutes for this show. We could be in trouble here people. There's no Maxine in sight. Bateman is all mad so he gets clotheslined down quickly. Bateman hammers him down in the corner and might be bleeding from the nose a bit. They go to the floor and Bateman misses a dropkick off the apron. He's holding his arm and I think I heard someone say they were getting the doctor. They go to a break so maybe there's something to that.
Back with Curtis working on the arm and we're told that the medics were out checking on Bateman during the break. That's probably due to the bloody nose though. Curtis works on the arm even more and shouts that he loves all the fans. Bateman fights back and allegedly it's him showing fire. By fire, they mean a clothesline and a backslide. The fans are openly booing now. Thankfully they pick up on it and Bateman hits his awful falling bulldog for the pin at 7:13.
Maxine comes out post match and yells, asking how he could do that with her mother. The engagement is off. Now the face stuff makes more sense.
Results
Usos b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks Top rope splash to Reks
JTG/Darren Young b. Percy Watson/Titus O'Neil Rollup to O'Neil
Derrick Bateman b. Johnny Curtis Falling Bulldog
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: December 8, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
This is the go home show for Final Resolution and I think most of the card is set. The show has been built up pretty well, but it still feels like a B-show to me. AJ vs. Roode should be good and they've kept the older guys out of the spotlight lately, but I still feel like this isn't the most exciting show in the world. I think it's due to Roode not really feeling like a top level guy to me yet. Let's get to it.
The opening video is a recap of last week with Roode being in the three way match and stealing the win via Jarrett. Also Storm confronts Angle tonight.
Here's Sting to open things up. Tonight it's AJ/Hardy vs. Roode/Jarrett. He calls Roode to the ring and says there are some things we need to deal with, so could Dixie please come out here as well. Sting says if you put your hands on Dixie, you might as well put your hands on him. A few weeks ago Roode used Dixie as a human shield and now, he needs to make things right.
Roode asks for some space to do this right so Sting steps back a bit. Roode apologizes for not being completely honest with her. However he doesn't have to be because he's the champ. That means Dixie needs her because business is better with him as champion. Everyone wants to jump on board the Roode show but he wouldn't even sell Dixie a ticket. Dixie is a fake because she's daddy's little rich girl. He walks away, turns around and spits at Dixie, then runs. Sting chases him and then stops for some reason. Roode poses as we go to a break.
In the back, AJ shoves Roode against a fence and says Roode has no idea what he's doing. Tonight, he's going to take out Roode for everyone to see. Sting comes up freaking out and AJ says someone has to be levelheaded.
Samoa Joe vs. Abyss
Joe hammers him down into the corner but Abyss pounds him down as well. After that brilliant display, we take another break. Back with Joe taking over, hitting a backsplash for two. He goes up and jumps into a chokeslam attempt which doesn't work. Some clotheslines set up attempt number two but Joe counters again. An enziguri puts Abyss in the corner and he calls for the MuscleBuster. Here's Scott Steiner for a distraction and Ray hits Joe with a chain. Chokeslam ends Joe at 7:29.
Abyss poses with Immortal but hits Steiner with the Black Hole Slam. Ray runs from a showdown.
Karen gives Madison marching orders of take care of Mickie. Gail has to fight Traci too which ticks her off. The door is shut while Karen explains her plan.
Gunner wants a match with Garrett, swearing no Flair and no Bischoff, which is good enough for Sting.
Here are D-Von and Pope for a little chat with the champs. D-Von does the talking, saying how he's a legendary tag wrestler and that the Dudleys beat a bunch of great champions. Crimson and Morgan are great, but remember that after the match there will be new champions. This is the whole I respect you promo that happens WAY too much in TNA. And that's it. Oh wait Pope wants to talk.
Pope calls them honkies and says that this is all about the money. He doesn't care how low he has to go and he'll steal, take and/or garnish the titles. The champs never talked so Morgan drills Morgan and a brawl breaks out. Pope hits Morgan low as the other two have fought up the ramp. He waves D-Von's kids in to help with the beatdown. Morgan gets up and all three of them run.
Storm is here.
Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James
Madison breaks up the intro of Mickie. She throws on a chinlock for a few minutes until Mickie fights back but misses something off the top. Something like a bulldog doesn't really work for Madison so she poses instead before getting two. Madison beats on her some more until Mickie hits the jumping DDT for the pin at 4:05. It was as weak as it sounds.
Ray and Steiner say they need a new plan for Abyss. Steiner says he'll go talk to Bischoff about it.
Recap of Gunner vs. Bischoff. It's about respect don't you know.
Gunner vs. Garrett Bischoff
Eric and Flair come out with Gunner and we're waiting on Sting to send them away. Instead Gunner sends them to the back, saying he's got this. Gunner takes over early but Bischoff hits a bulldog. A clothesline is no sold and Gunner beats him down again. Garrett goes shoulder first into the post a few times and Gunner takes over. This is total domination with Gunner yelling a lot. And then Garrett grabs a single leg takedown and cradles him for the pin at 3:19. Yeah who didn't see that coming? Honestly.
Gunner freaks post match and beats him down again, trying a piledriver on the floor. Eric makes the stop, wanting the mats pulled back first. Now the piledriver hits. Please let him be out for months. It would make my Christmas all the more magical.
Garrett is taken out on a stretcher while Eric applauds. Flair says send the nurse back to the hotel.
Here's Storm for his standoff with Angle. He says he never backs down from a challenge so Angle needs to get down here. Here's the bald man who says Storm is either an idiot or the toughest man he's ever seen. The concussion should have put him out for six months but it was only three weeks. Angle says he thinks about Storm every night before he goes to sleep. Storm: That kind of creeps me out a little bit. Funny line. Storm gets in his face and talks about all the hardships he's gone through and how that means Angle isn't going to scare him.
Storm says the last time he hit the Last Call, it won him the world title. Next time, it's going to crush Angle's head like a beer can. Do you really want to get into an alcohol contest with Angle? Storm turns his back on Angle, saying if he feels like it, jump him. Angle does nothing and Storm says he'll see him on Sunday. No word on if he's legit cleared or not for Sunday.
Karen tells Traci she's going to lay down for Gail.
D-Von goes off on his kids in the back when Pope comes in. D-Von LAUNCHES him against a wall but one of the boys stops him before he punches Pope. Paternal violence is implied. Pope comes back in to check on them. After six months of this, we FINALLY get a line about what's going on here: Pope is willing to help train them and has promised to get them to the main event if they stick with him. WHY HAVE WE NOT HEARD THIS SINCE JUNE???
AJ and Hardy say they're going to figure out a way to work together.
Traci Brooks vs. Gail Kim
The bell rings and Gail says lay down. Traci kicks out and hammers away (kind of) on Gail to a big reaction. She beats on Kim for awhile and gets a rollup for two. There's a spear and Karen comes down to say get out of the ring NOW. Traci grabs Karen but the referee makes the save. Madison runs in with a belt shot and it's over at 2:16. Just a brawl really.
Roode and Jarrett say they'll win.
Daniels challenges RVD to a technical match on Sunday.
We run down the Final Resolution card.
Jeff Hardy/AJ Styles vs. Robert Roode/Jeff Jarrett
It's a big brawl and they even break up the big match intros. After they fight on the floor we start with AJ vs. Jarrett in the ring. AJ hits his leapfrog into a dropkick sequence which is always good. Jarrett sends him to the apron but avoids the springboard forearm. AJ tweeks the knee and brings in Hardy. Jarrett runs so we get a previous of the Genesis main event as we take a break.
Back with Hardy hitting a headscissors on Roode and then the double legdrop between the legs. Seated dropkick gets two. Back to AJ but the knee isn't working well still. The heels work the knee over and Jarrett does the Tim Tebow pose. Hardy finally snaps (not because of Tebow) and the Jeffs brawl to the back.
We keep the camera on them because who needs to see that wrestling match stuff? Roode hooks on a half crab and back to the brawl again. AJ finally grabs a rope and gets a boot up to a charging Roode. He can't do much though because of the knee. A spinebuster puts Styles down but the fisherman's suplex is countered into a small package for the pin at 13:38.
AJ dives on Roode like an idiot and stands tall to almost end the show. Roode hits a running chop block to take the knee out again and rams it against the stage to really mess it up. He yells at AJ a lot to end the show.
Results
Abyss b. Samoa Joe Chokeslam
Mickie James b. Madison Rayne Jumping DDT
Garrett Bischoff b. Gunner Single Leg Rollup
Gail Kim b. Traci Brooks Pin after a belt shot
AJ Styles/Jeff Hardy b. Robert Roode/Jeff Jarrett Small Package to Roode
Lillian Garcia is going to be the Smackdown announcer again. The company just got a lot prettier.
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 5, 2011
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Mic
hael Cole, Jerry Lawler
There are two shows left before TLC and one of them is the Slammies so this is going to be a normal show by comparison. Last week's show rocked so let's hope this one can do the same. For some reason they're trying to push the idea that all of a sudden Cena is having so many issues with the fans after saying for years that its their right. As usual, WWE doesn't get that some people have no idea what they're talking about. Let's get to it.
Here's Cena to kick things off. He talks about last week with Piper and how the fans have a mixed reaction to him. He says that he knows the fans aren't all in love with him, but without them, there's no show. Without the fans, there's no work. Therefore, every fan has earned the right to think whatever they want about him.
However, the thing that mattered last week was the slap to the face of Cena. He kind of drops that though and starts talking about CM Punk. He says that the only thing bigger than Rock vs. Cena at Wrestlemania is Rock vs. Cena for the WWE Title at Wrestlemania. That brings out Del Rio. Oh geez not a #1 contender match between these two. Del Rio brings up the If Punk gets disqualified he loses the title thing from last week and shows the clip of the GTS to the exposed buckle last week.
That brings out Vickie with Ziggler. She says it should be Dolph that should get the title shot. I can't really argue with that one. Dolph says he'll be a dual champion and blah blah blah. Cena says Dolph is the Show Off now (because he heard Cole say it 25 times last week) but it should be Jerk Off. Ziggler says if the two of you want to have a #1 contender match for the US Title, go ahead. Cena says that the US Title shot belongs to Zack Ryder.
After Ziggler talks about how that's a dead horse, here's Miz because we don't have enough people out there yet. We get some clips of Miz beating up Morrison and Truth, along with an announcement that Morrison has been released. Miz says that the Slammies are next week and he'll be superstar of the year.
As he's talking, here's Johnny Ace who says he's not boring. I had to rewind things because I dozed off there. Tonight there are going to be four matches, each pitting one of these guys against a Smackdown guy. The winners will ALL go to the WWE Title match at TLC. Oh wait not Cena because he's in a special match called a social experiment which Ace will tell him about later. Miz's match is right now against this man.
The Miz vs. Randy Orton
Basic start with neither guy really being able to take over. Orton tries to speed things up but Miz takes over with a Garvin Stomp and a running shot for two. Time for the chinlock and now we're off to Twitterville. Orton makes his comeback and hits the powerslam. They head to the floor and Orton slams him again. Cue Barrett for the distraction at a count of eight and Orton goes after him. Miz wins via countout at 4:32.
Video on WWE Network. It's coming in 2012.
Ryder wants to talk to Ryder about the petition and says it doesn't matter. Cue Cena in Ryder gear who goes on a rant about the match that Ace has planned for him. He even makes a Back to the Future reference for some reason. The Social Experiment is a match with Ryder. Uh....ok? If Ryder wins, he gets a US Title match. If Cena wins, he's in the title match at TLC.
Otunga says that it's Nash vs. HHH in a ladder match. Why? Apparently there's going to be a sledgehammer above the ring and whoever gets it first gets to use it. Nash is cool with that. Nash starts to leave and Otunga says Nash has a match. He doesn't care who it is.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan
Bryan is all taped up from the cage match on Tuesday. Del Rio works over the ribs to start (psychology as always), even draping him over the top rope. And then the cross armbreaker ends this at 1:48. That's pretty much a squash, but at least Bryan was injured coming in.
Tribute to the Troops is next week.
Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix
If I didn't write reviews for these shows, I'd be off to find a hot pretzel. We get a message from the heels but we get interrupted by a second coming video. He arrives on January 2, 2012. Ok then. And then announcers ignore it. Beth starts with Kelly and Kelly gets beaten down....and then Kelly hooks a small package for the pin at 1:10.
John Cena vs. Zack Ryder
This feels like a big match. Think about that for a second. Both guys are tentative to start. They fight over a long headlock and the fans are split as usual. Hip toss gets two for Cena. Notice something here: Cena is respecting Ryder and that's the biggest rub Ryder can get. Ryder grabs a spinning neckbreaker for two. This is very slow.
A tornado DDT gets two for Ryder and he loads up the Rough Ryder. Cena ducks and initiates his finishing sequence. The AA is countered and Ryder puts him in the corner. Broski Boot looks to set up another Rough Ryder but Cena catches him in mid air and the AA is enough for the pin at 6:47.
Ryder is mad post match and Cena says hang on a second before running to the back.
Cena comes up to Ace and Otunag in the back. He shouts Otunga out and tells Ace to listen to the people and make Ryder #1 contender to Ziggler. Ace says no because Ryder blew it. Cena gets in his face and says be creative. Ace says Cena has to give up his title match at TLC. Cena isn't sure of course but says he's a ten time champion because he got opportunities along the way. Cena drops out and Ryder has to face....someone still. Ok then.
Kane is still coming again. That's different than the Jan 2 thing. This video shows pictures of big named stars and Kane punching through a piece of glass. He puts the mask back on and opens his eye...then drops the mask which is on fire. It says his name this time. No date is given.
Otunga tells Robers to make this in essence a street fight.
Zack Ryder vs. Mark Henry
I think I smell interference. Henry has a bad ankle/leg here. Ryder gets beaten down like a chump to start which to be fair, he's in over his head. Ryder gets him down for a second and rams the leg into the post. Cue Cena who hits the AA on Henry and throws Ryder on top for the pin at 2:20.
Vickie says she can't get the decision reversed. Oh and Ziggler has to fight Sheamus later.
Kevin Nash vs. Santino Marella
Nash hits a side slam to start. Cole: One, two, kick out by Santino...for some reason. Powerbomb ends this at 1:03.
Post match Nash picks up the hammer but doesn't hit Marella with it.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus
Feeling out process to start until Ziggler hits a GREAT dropkick for two. Sheamus is like Irish story! and hammers away with the forearms to the chest. Ziggler hooks a chinlock and a Fameasser gets two. Ziggler chokes again but Sheamus fights back, hitting a forearm in the corner. He loads up the High Cross but Ziggler escapes and Sheamus hits the post. Here's Ryder for the distraction so that the Brogue Kick can keep Ziggler out of the world title match at 4:32.
Rough Ryder to Ziggler post match.
Del Rio and Miz are in the ring and here's Ace as well. He mentions Clay debuting but it hasn't happened yet. Henry vs. Cena next week. Here's Punk for the contract signing. Punk pulls the table back to him and says this is the biggest WWE staple cliché there is. They always end in a brawl (which he'd love to have trending on Twitter) and since there's no such thing as creativity by Ace, he figured we'd have the first peaceful one of these since Mania III.
Punk tells Ace to play Jack Tunney so we can sign this and get to brawling. Ace makes it a TLC match at the PPV and Punk is cool with that. Punk runs both guys down and Miz says that he took Truth and Morrison out. Punk: Like on a date? I bet it was to that new Twilight movie. NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT! Funnier in delivery. Ace looks right at the camera and wishes Morrison the best in his future endeavors.
Miz says he's a must see start, Punk says he doesn't care. He's not about TMZ but about being the best wrestler in the world. Alberto jumps in and says they're crying too much. He says his usual stuff and Punk cuts him off, saying if Del Rio talks about destiny again then he'll start drinking. Del Rio says just sign it and Punk wants to know if they can fight after that. Punk signs and I must have missed the heels signing.
Ace wishes them all luck and asks a WWE.com photographer in for a photo op. Punk: EVEN YOUR CONTRACT SIGNINGS ARE BORING! With that he blasts Miz and the brawl finally gets going. Ricardo is loaded into the GTS so Del Rio hits Punk low. Del Rio stops to move furniture around but Miz runs in and tries the Finale on Del Rio. Punk breaks that up and hits the bulldog out of the corner to Del Rio through the table. A GTS to Miz and Punk stands tall to end the show.
Results
The Miz b. Randy Orton via countout
Alberto Del Rio b. Daniel Bryan Cross Armbreaker
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Natalya/Beth Phoenix
John Cena b. Zack Ryder AA
Zack Ryder b. Mark Henry Pin after an AA from John Cena
Kevin Nash b. Santino Marella Jackknife Powerbomb
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler Brogue Kick
Tuesday
Raw got a 3.0, which is bad considering what it was up against on MNF.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: December 7, 2011
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Matt Striker, Josh Matthews
Into December we go with more NXT nonsense. After last week's shocking, yes SHOCKING I say, ending with Maxine leaving with Johnny Curtis, I think we have a theme for the week. Hopefully we get more Usos and less Bateman this time as I can only take so much of that curly haired lunkhead. Let's get to it.
The Usos open us up with the Siva Tao. That would be so awesome at a high school football game. They're here for a match but first do the We say Us, you say O deal with the audience and again it gets a solid response. However before we get to the popular tag team that puts on good matches, here's Bateman to talk about Maxine. The Usos say Tamina lied last week and Bateman runs off.
Usos vs. Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins
Hawkins vs. Jimmy to start us off and we're told that Striker and Hawkins are from the same neighborhood. Off to Reks and he has about as much success as Hawkins. We're told that the Usos both played college football at the University of Hawaii. Stereo clotheslines put the non-relatives on the floor. Reks takes over on I think Jey and knocks him to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Hawkins grabbing a chinlock. Jey fights off as Josh makes fun of Matt's commentary. A spinning forearm takes down Curt and it's off to Jimmy. The momentum shifts (or the pendulum has swung for you Monsoon enthusiasts) and Jimmy takes over on Reks. The Umaga corner shot gets two. Reks hits a clothesline and puts on a Torture Rack, but Jimmy comes out with a bulldog for two. The Usos beat down both guys with kicks and a top rope splash pins Reks at 8:35.
Bateman is looking for Maxine and runs into Maxine's mom. She flirts with him and Curtis comes up. Mama Maxine slaps Bateman and implies that he started it. She leaves and Curtis said he didn't try anything with Maxine. He was with Bateman's mom last week though. That makes Bateman yell and charge like an idiot but he gets stopped before the beatdown. Does ANYONE care about Derrick Bateman? Seriously?
Tyler Reks/Percy Watson vs. JTG/Darren Young
My goodness this looks boring. Watson vs. JTG to get us going as Striker makes ****e jokes about Maxine's mama, whose name is first name Portia Perez. Now they're stealing SHIMMER names. Watson and JTG exchange some basic stuff and it's off to Young, who hits a belly to back suplex on the apron. Back to Jimmy the Gimmick who grabs an odd neckbreaker for two.
JTG slaps on a seated abdominal stretch for awhile and then it's a chinlock. What a variety. Watson fires off a dropkick to a jumping JTG and Titus finally gets into this after about five and a half minutes. He beats up both guys and hits a shoulderbreaker for two on Young. Tamina gets on the apron as a distraction and Young gets a rollup pin at 6:40. That ending came out of nowhere and was pretty bad.
Titus is upset about the loss and talks about the show running for 39 weeks. He said Young doesn't care about the people and gets booed for it. Titus is booed for it I mean. He issues a challenge for next week against Young, saying it's about being a man, not Redemption. Here's the problem: as it stands, there's nothing on the line about this match/fight. If one of them wins so what? If the other one of them wins so what? That's the problem with this show.
Video on the WWE Network. I need to look into getting that.
Derrick Bateman vs. Johnny Curtis
We have about 9 minutes for this show. We could be in trouble here people. There's no Maxine in sight. Bateman is all mad so he gets clotheslined down quickly. Bateman hammers him down in the corner and might be bleeding from the nose a bit. They go to the floor and Bateman misses a dropkick off the apron. He's holding his arm and I think I heard someone say they were getting the doctor. They go to a break so maybe there's something to that.
Back with Curtis working on the arm and we're told that the medics were out checking on Bateman during the break. That's probably due to the bloody nose though. Curtis works on the arm even more and shouts that he loves all the fans. Bateman fights back and allegedly it's him showing fire. By fire, they mean a clothesline and a backslide. The fans are openly booing now. Thankfully they pick up on it and Bateman hits his awful falling bulldog for the pin at 7:13.
Maxine comes out post match and yells, asking how he could do that with her mother. The engagement is off. Now the face stuff makes more sense.
Results
Usos b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks Top rope splash to Reks
JTG/Darren Young b. Percy Watson/Titus O'Neil Rollup to O'Neil
Derrick Bateman b. Johnny Curtis Falling Bulldog
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: December 8, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
This is the go home show for Final Resolution and I think most of the card is set. The show has been built up pretty well, but it still feels like a B-show to me. AJ vs. Roode should be good and they've kept the older guys out of the spotlight lately, but I still feel like this isn't the most exciting show in the world. I think it's due to Roode not really feeling like a top level guy to me yet. Let's get to it.
The opening video is a recap of last week with Roode being in the three way match and stealing the win via Jarrett. Also Storm confronts Angle tonight.
Here's Sting to open things up. Tonight it's AJ/Hardy vs. Roode/Jarrett. He calls Roode to the ring and says there are some things we need to deal with, so could Dixie please come out here as well. Sting says if you put your hands on Dixie, you might as well put your hands on him. A few weeks ago Roode used Dixie as a human shield and now, he needs to make things right.
Roode asks for some space to do this right so Sting steps back a bit. Roode apologizes for not being completely honest with her. However he doesn't have to be because he's the champ. That means Dixie needs her because business is better with him as champion. Everyone wants to jump on board the Roode show but he wouldn't even sell Dixie a ticket. Dixie is a fake because she's daddy's little rich girl. He walks away, turns around and spits at Dixie, then runs. Sting chases him and then stops for some reason. Roode poses as we go to a break.
In the back, AJ shoves Roode against a fence and says Roode has no idea what he's doing. Tonight, he's going to take out Roode for everyone to see. Sting comes up freaking out and AJ says someone has to be levelheaded.
Samoa Joe vs. Abyss
Joe hammers him down into the corner but Abyss pounds him down as well. After that brilliant display, we take another break. Back with Joe taking over, hitting a backsplash for two. He goes up and jumps into a chokeslam attempt which doesn't work. Some clotheslines set up attempt number two but Joe counters again. An enziguri puts Abyss in the corner and he calls for the MuscleBuster. Here's Scott Steiner for a distraction and Ray hits Joe with a chain. Chokeslam ends Joe at 7:29.
Abyss poses with Immortal but hits Steiner with the Black Hole Slam. Ray runs from a showdown.
Karen gives Madison marching orders of take care of Mickie. Gail has to fight Traci too which ticks her off. The door is shut while Karen explains her plan.
Gunner wants a match with Garrett, swearing no Flair and no Bischoff, which is good enough for Sting.
Here are D-Von and Pope for a little chat with the champs. D-Von does the talking, saying how he's a legendary tag wrestler and that the Dudleys beat a bunch of great champions. Crimson and Morgan are great, but remember that after the match there will be new champions. This is the whole I respect you promo that happens WAY too much in TNA. And that's it. Oh wait Pope wants to talk.
Pope calls them honkies and says that this is all about the money. He doesn't care how low he has to go and he'll steal, take and/or garnish the titles. The champs never talked so Morgan drills Morgan and a brawl breaks out. Pope hits Morgan low as the other two have fought up the ramp. He waves D-Von's kids in to help with the beatdown. Morgan gets up and all three of them run.
Storm is here.
Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James
Madison breaks up the intro of Mickie. She throws on a chinlock for a few minutes until Mickie fights back but misses something off the top. Something like a bulldog doesn't really work for Madison so she poses instead before getting two. Madison beats on her some more until Mickie hits the jumping DDT for the pin at 4:05. It was as weak as it sounds.
Ray and Steiner say they need a new plan for Abyss. Steiner says he'll go talk to Bischoff about it.
Recap of Gunner vs. Bischoff. It's about respect don't you know.
Gunner vs. Garrett Bischoff
Eric and Flair come out with Gunner and we're waiting on Sting to send them away. Instead Gunner sends them to the back, saying he's got this. Gunner takes over early but Bischoff hits a bulldog. A clothesline is no sold and Gunner beats him down again. Garrett goes shoulder first into the post a few times and Gunner takes over. This is total domination with Gunner yelling a lot. And then Garrett grabs a single leg takedown and cradles him for the pin at 3:19. Yeah who didn't see that coming? Honestly.
Gunner freaks post match and beats him down again, trying a piledriver on the floor. Eric makes the stop, wanting the mats pulled back first. Now the piledriver hits. Please let him be out for months. It would make my Christmas all the more magical.
Garrett is taken out on a stretcher while Eric applauds. Flair says send the nurse back to the hotel.
Here's Storm for his standoff with Angle. He says he never backs down from a challenge so Angle needs to get down here. Here's the bald man who says Storm is either an idiot or the toughest man he's ever seen. The concussion should have put him out for six months but it was only three weeks. Angle says he thinks about Storm every night before he goes to sleep. Storm: That kind of creeps me out a little bit. Funny line. Storm gets in his face and talks about all the hardships he's gone through and how that means Angle isn't going to scare him.
Storm says the last time he hit the Last Call, it won him the world title. Next time, it's going to crush Angle's head like a beer can. Do you really want to get into an alcohol contest with Angle? Storm turns his back on Angle, saying if he feels like it, jump him. Angle does nothing and Storm says he'll see him on Sunday. No word on if he's legit cleared or not for Sunday.
Karen tells Traci she's going to lay down for Gail.
D-Von goes off on his kids in the back when Pope comes in. D-Von LAUNCHES him against a wall but one of the boys stops him before he punches Pope. Paternal violence is implied. Pope comes back in to check on them. After six months of this, we FINALLY get a line about what's going on here: Pope is willing to help train them and has promised to get them to the main event if they stick with him. WHY HAVE WE NOT HEARD THIS SINCE JUNE???
AJ and Hardy say they're going to figure out a way to work together.
Traci Brooks vs. Gail Kim
The bell rings and Gail says lay down. Traci kicks out and hammers away (kind of) on Gail to a big reaction. She beats on Kim for awhile and gets a rollup for two. There's a spear and Karen comes down to say get out of the ring NOW. Traci grabs Karen but the referee makes the save. Madison runs in with a belt shot and it's over at 2:16. Just a brawl really.
Roode and Jarrett say they'll win.
Daniels challenges RVD to a technical match on Sunday.
We run down the Final Resolution card.
Jeff Hardy/AJ Styles vs. Robert Roode/Jeff Jarrett
It's a big brawl and they even break up the big match intros. After they fight on the floor we start with AJ vs. Jarrett in the ring. AJ hits his leapfrog into a dropkick sequence which is always good. Jarrett sends him to the apron but avoids the springboard forearm. AJ tweeks the knee and brings in Hardy. Jarrett runs so we get a previous of the Genesis main event as we take a break.
Back with Hardy hitting a headscissors on Roode and then the double legdrop between the legs. Seated dropkick gets two. Back to AJ but the knee isn't working well still. The heels work the knee over and Jarrett does the Tim Tebow pose. Hardy finally snaps (not because of Tebow) and the Jeffs brawl to the back.
We keep the camera on them because who needs to see that wrestling match stuff? Roode hooks on a half crab and back to the brawl again. AJ finally grabs a rope and gets a boot up to a charging Roode. He can't do much though because of the knee. A spinebuster puts Styles down but the fisherman's suplex is countered into a small package for the pin at 13:38.
AJ dives on Roode like an idiot and stands tall to almost end the show. Roode hits a running chop block to take the knee out again and rams it against the stage to really mess it up. He yells at AJ a lot to end the show.
Results
Abyss b. Samoa Joe Chokeslam
Mickie James b. Madison Rayne Jumping DDT
Garrett Bischoff b. Gunner Single Leg Rollup
Gail Kim b. Traci Brooks Pin after a belt shot
AJ Styles/Jeff Hardy b. Robert Roode/Jeff Jarrett Small Package to Roode