klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Friday
Impact got a .98, down slightly from last week.
Smackdown
Date: December 7, 2012
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield
We're nine days from TLC as well as fourteen days away from the end of the world if you buy into that. Anyway, the main story is that CM Punk has had knee surgery and may or may not be able to be in the TLC match against Ryback for the title. Aside from that, there's likely going to be more Sheamus vs. Big Show stuff. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap (with no voiceover thank goodness) of the end of Raw with Ryback destroying Punk and putting him through a table.
Josh tells us that Punk had surgery to fix a partially torn meniscus (wasn't that what they said Cena had?). The match in its place will be HELL NO/Ryback vs. The Shield in a TLC match....which you can win by pin or submission. Isn't that pretty much just a hardcore match? Ryback will get a shot in the future.
Here's Booker to open the show. Booker says that he's always been one to take care of his business, be it in the ring, in the back, or in a supermarket. The ring is set up for a contract signing. Booker talks about how he has to give us a good show, so here's a recap video on Big Show vs. Sheamus. Since he wants to give us a big match at the PPV, there's a no contract clause for the next nine days.
Here are Sheamus and Big Show to sign the agreement. Booker says if they break the clause, Sheamus loses his title shot and Show loses the title. They sign and Sheamus says that while waiting for the PPV is like waiting for Christmas, the title match is going to be like Christmas morning because he gets to beat on Big Show and win his title back. Show says that while Sheamus beat on him so many times, Show kept getting up.
He talks about how much experience he has and how Sheamus just wants to fight no matter what. Sheamus says he made Show relevant again and how the chairs match might be the end of his career. Show pulls a 2001 HHH and hasn't signed yet before turning the table on Sheamus. Booker calms Sheamus down and says it's Sheamus vs. Del Rio tonight. Who wants to see this match EVER again? Show gets Bryan next. This was ridiculously boring.
Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show
Bryan fires off kicks to the legs but Show easily shoves him away. That sequence works so well that they do the exact same thing again. Show keeps pounding on Bryan as Bryan tries his strikes to come back. A splash in the corner crushes Bryan but he blocks a spear by dropkicking Show's leg out. They head to the floor where Show is sent into the post but he chops Bryan down as we take a break.
Back with Show getting two off something we didn't see as Bryan is in trouble. Show starts working on the arm with his usual slow stuff. He stands on the arm which is something you don't often see. Show charges into a pair of boots in the corner and Bryan adds some dropkicks for one. Bryan goes up top for the headbutt as the Shield is seen in the crowd. The distraction lets Show chokeslam Bryan down for the pin at 6:56 shown of 10:26.
The Shield shows up at ringside and Show walks away. They circle Bryan and the beating is on. Cue Kane, walking rather slowly for a savior. He holds them off for a bit but the numbers catch up to him, resulting in Kane taking the powerbomb through the announce table.
Back from a break and it's time for Sandow to try to find his apprentice. It's the same deal as the previous times and it's still awesome. Sandow is nailing this character so well and I don't know of anybody working better right now. He gets interrupted by Miz who makes fun of Sandow's robe and trunks....and that's it. That would be a good feud for Sandow actually.
We recap the tag match from Monday where Cena and Sheamus beat their PPV opponents.
We also get Vickie and Vince's segment almost in full.
Brodus Clay/Usos vs. 3MB
Jey vs. Heath to start things off with Slater getting taken down quickly. Jimmy (thankfully with an arm sleeve tattoo now) comes in with a middle rope splash for two before it's off to McIntyre and Clay. Brodus goes nuts and runs over everyone until Slater and Mahal take him to the floor. The Usos start diving but McIntyre takes Jimmy down, followed by the Future Shock for the pin at 2:27. Short and nothing to see.
Barrett says Orton has to worry about the Bull Hammer tonight.
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett
Kofi is on commentary in a snappy vest. He says that at TLC, it's going to have to be a brawl and he's ready for just that. They feel each other out for a bit and then start punching away, with Randy taking over. This only lasts a few seconds until Orton charges into a boot in the corner. Orton goes after Barrett's knee and sends him to the floor. The chemistry isn't exactly clicking so far.
We head to the floor and Wade goes face first into the steps. Brawling is probably the right choice for these guys. Barrett sends Orton into the steps as well before heading back inside. Orton is knocked off the apron and is holding his elbow as we take a break. Back with Orton escaping a chinlock but getting put into the ropes for some choking. Barrett kicks Orton in the face to knock him to the outside again which gets two back in the ring.
Wade goes up but misses a middle rope elbow. JBL makes fun of Josh using all of the snake references about Orton and the voice is hilarious. Orton makes his comeback and hits the Elevated DDT but Barrett hooks the rope to block the RKO. Wade goes to unhook the buckle, but Kofi yells at the referee to stop Barret. The distraction lets the RKO hit for the pin at 7:17 shown of 10:47.
Epico/Primo vs. Hornswoggle/Great Khali
What do you expect here? Khali starts with Epico and pounds away on him before the cousins double team him to the floor. Off to Horny who is bullied because of his size. He Warriors Up and Khali does the work to put Epico and Primo down. Tadpole Splash pins Epico at 2:54. Oh and Natalya is here with the winning team.
The Raw ReBound sums up the end of the show and reiterates the Punk announcement.
We get a Shield promo with one of them holding a camera at themselves. They say they don't work for anyone but themselves and talk about the injustice they've gone through. They don't mention any specifics but that would be giving away too much. Ambrose says they'll bring the sword to the PPV.
Here's Cesaro in the ring and apparently he's defending the title against R-Truth at the PPV. Cesaro says that America is weak and there's no more American Dream. He says everyone used to pursue the American Dream, but now they all just look like him. Cesaro has a picture of Dusty Rhodes and we get some funky music.
Truth comes out and says he sees hard working people doing everything they can to hang on. Cesaro isn't impressed and neither am I. Again, Cesaro has already beaten Truth at least once, so why do we need to see this match again? The brawl is on but Cesaro bails. This would have been ok if the match wasn't already set, but instead it comes off like tacking on a feud, which isn't good storytelling.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus
I've had nightmares about this match before. They brawl into the corner to start with Sheamus taking over quickly. Alberto comes back with a kick to the ribs as we hear about the way too long feud they had over the summer. Sheamus comes back with a neckbreaker for two but he gets knocked to the apron. Del Rio kicks Sheamus' leg out and sends him face first into the apron. Here's Big Show to watch as we take a break.
Back with Sheamus fighting out of something, only to get kicked in the ribs to break it up. Del Rio uses Rollins' Black Out to take Sheamus down, followed by a MOONSAULT of all things. It was a decent one at that but it only gets two on Sheamus. Off to a chinlock which doesn't last long at all. Instead Del Rio goes up top and hooks the armbreaker over the ropes but has to let go due to the DQ threat.
Del Rio goes up one more time and dives into a shot to the ribs from Sheamus. Alberto misses a charge and gets caught on the apron. There are the ten forearms followed by a suplex and the Battering Ram for two. Alberto hits a Backstabber (backbreaker according to Josh) for two but the armbreaker is escaped. Brogue Kick misses and Del Rio hits the enziguri for two. An attempt at a second moosault misses and it's the Irish Curse and Cloverleaf for the submission win by Sheamus at 9:11 shown of 12:41.
Post match Show comes in to beg Sheamus to hit him. He closes his eyes while Sheamus calls for the Brogue Kick, but instead Sheamus throws Ricardo into Show's crotch to end the show.
Results
Big Show b. Daniel Bryan Chokeslam
3MB b. Brodus Clay/Usos Future Shock to Jimmy
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett RKO
Hornswoggle/Great Khali b. Epico/Primo Tadpole Splash to Epico
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio Cloverleaf
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Kenta Kobashi has announced his retirement from wrestling, effective in February.
Final Resolution 2012
Date: December 9, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Todd Keneley
This is one of those shows that is happening because it's a Sunday in a month and therefore we need to have a PPV. The card was nearly half put together on Thursday, so how much effort do you think the company is actually putting into this show? The main event is Hardy defending against Roode, who likely has about as much of a chance as I do. The card should be decent though. Let's get to it.
Usual highlight package opens the show.
Here's James Storm who isn't scheduled on the show, because he means nothing in this company anymore. He talks about not being scheduled here tonight but he's here to make sure Roode doesn't try to steal the title like he tried to do on Thursday. Storm calls out Roode....and gets Kaz instead. Kaz says that he's been here for years and is tired of hearing a drunk like Storm whine. This goes on for awhile, gay jokes are made, and there's the challenge for the obvious match. You wouldn't think we were ten minutes into the show yet would you?
Kazarian vs. James Storm
We get a referee and it's time to go. Storm pounds away on him to start as he is known to do. Kaz comes back with a shot to the head and a head vice of all things. Storm gets thrown to the floor as Kaz pounds away even more. Back in and Kaz hits his spinning springboard legdrop for two followed by a cravate.
Storm fights back and hits a forearm for two before walking into a slingshot DDT for two. Kaz comes out of the corner and gets caught in an Alabama Slam followed by a Codebreaker. The Last Call is loaded up but Kaz hides behind the referee. Fade to Black (Kaz's piledriver) is escaped and the Last Call ends this at 6:08.
We recap Hardy's attack on Impact and see Roode and Hardy arriving earlier.
X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Kenny King
Van Dam is defending after King won a title shot on Impact in a three way. The champ puts on a headlock to start and they flip around a bit. The announcers talk about Van Dam's title history and both guys kick each other. King kicks him to the floor but Van Dam comes back in and kicks King's legs out a few times. Van Dam goes up top and gets shoved into the barricade, injuring his ribs. That's a common theme in Van Dam matches over the years. Back in and King hooks an abdominal stretch which Van Dam breaks via yet another kick.
They kick it out even more and my goodness I don't care about this match or this show. Rob gets crotched on the top rope and a backbreaker puts Van Dam down. Two knees to King's face take him down, as does a clothesline. The Monkey Flip sets up Rolling Thunder which sets up the top rope kick which sets up the Five Star....which misses. King's Royal Flush is countered into a rollup for the pin to retain at 9:20.
We're thirty minutes into the show so far and I don't remember being less interested in a PPV in years.
Daniels talks about his history with AJ, which goes on for a few minutes because these two are welded at the hip.
Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan/Joey Ryan
Chavo and Hernandez are defending. This is another of those title matches that means absolutely nothing. Morgan has Hogan's cape still, but I'm not even sure they're actually feuding anymore. They haven't talked in weeks. Anyway Chavo and Ryan start things off and it's what you would expect: Chavo wrestles, Ryan runs a lot, Chavo takes over. Hernandez comes in with a bearhug on Ryan before throwing him over in a belly to belly.
Back to Chavo to face Morgan and the champion is thrown around. Off to Hernandez for the big power showdown. Matt shoves him around a lot and the discus lariat puts Hernandez down. Back to Ryan who is immediately caught in a delayed vertical suplex for two. Hernandez beats up Joey for a bit until it's back to Chavo, who is dropped on the buckle by the illegal Morgan. Morgan is now legal and drops Chavo with a backbreaker followed by a neck crank from Ryan.
Chavo plays Ricky Morton for awhile until sending Ryan face first into the buckle. Hot tag brings in Hernandez who is suplexed down by Morgan for two. A backbreaker puts Ryan down and a missile dropkick/clothesline combination puts Morgan on the floor. Ryan gets speared down and the Frog Splash hits.....but Morgan pulls the referee out for the DQ at 10:27. Freaking LAME!
Austin Aries says he's going to stir things up around here even more and he imitates Hogan to further a feud...I guess.
We recap Aries vs. Ray which is all about Hogan, of course. Ray seems to be involved with Brooke Hogan and Hulk isn't happy. Aries pushed buttons and we get a match as a result.
Bully Ray vs. Austin Aries
Aries hides a lot to start and then slaps Ray in the face. He earns a gutwrench suplex for his efforts, followed by a big backdrop. Ray grabs him by the throat but gets caught in the face by an elbow. Austin pounds away even more, hitting a forearm to the head and a slingshot hilo to the back of Ray. Aries does more of the Hogan imitation, complete with the big boot and legdrop for two.
Ray comes back with hard chops to the chest and a splash for two. Aries charges into some Snake Eyes in the corner, but he manages to break up the backsplash. Ray punches him down AND HITS A MIDDLE ROPE DROPKICK to kill Aries dead. Naturally there's no cover and Ray charges into a low bridge to send him out to the floor. The suicide dive is countered by a big boot to the face for two for Ray. Aries comes back with a crucifix into a mat slam followed by the running dropkick in the corner.
Aries loads up the Brainbuster but Ray throws him into the air for a one man 3D. However since this is TNA, it only gets two. Ray goes for a table and gets kicked in the face for his efforts, busting him open a bit. Aries pounds away at the cut....and here's Brooke Hogan of course. She checks on the cut and is dragged into the ring, but the distraction of Aries lets Ray throw him to the floor. Now here's Hulk to glare some, but Ray tells him to get Brooke out of here. The Hogans leave and Aries hits Ray low and gets the pin off a rollup at 12:56.
We recap the Knockouts Title match by talking about Velvet Sky. You know, the chick that isn't in the title match. Mickie won some battle royal to get the shot at Tara here.
Tara and Jesse don't have much to say.
Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Tara
They fight over wrist/arm control to start as the announcers talk about Tara being in her city's athletics hall of fame. This turns into a discussion of USC football as Tara wants to kiss Jesse a bit. Mickie gets a rollup and northern lights for a pair of two counts and there's the rana to put Tara down again. Tara gets sent into Jesse but the distraction lets Tara get in a kick to the face to take over.
Back in and Tara hooks Mickie in an over the shoulder hair pull. Why she doesn't just hit the Widow's Peak from there is anyone's guess. Mickie gets a rollup for two but Jesse has the referee's attention. The spinning sidewalk slam gets two for Tara and it's off to a body vice for the champ. Mickie makes her comeback with a lot of kicks (a running theme tonight) and gets two off an enziguri. Tara is thrown onto Jesse again, so Mickie hits a Thesz Press off the top to the floor to take Tara out again. Jesse gets kicked in the face, but the distraction lets Tara hit the Widow's Peak to retain at 7:51.
Roode says he'll do whatever it takes to get the title back and that money talks. Usually solid stuff here.
We recap Aces and 8's being all evil and breaking bones with the hammer. This is another thrown together match from Impact.
Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Garrett Bischoff/Wes Brisco vs. Aces and 8's
It's D-Von/Doc/two masked dudes. One masked guy is big and the other is small so we'll call the big one Porkchop and the small one Roger for simplicity's sake. Joe wants D-Von immediately but the bikers run away. Instead it's D-Von vs. Kurt to start and guess who controls that one. D-Von gets beaten up but runs away when Joe comes in. Instead it's Joe pounding on Doc in the corner and hitting the enziguri for no cover.
Garrett comes in and is immediately pounded down like he should be. Off to Porkchop who gets to sell Garrett's horrible offense. Wes comes in and the small guys hit Poetry in Motion on Porkchop. Off to Roger who gets his arm worked over by various TNA guys. The bikers triple team Joe, pulling him to the floor and sending him into the barricade ribs first. Now D-Von will actually get in the match for some basic punches before it's back to Doc for a suplex.
We hit the chinlock for awhile until it's back to D-Von for more punches. Here's Porkchop again to stay on Joe in the corner. Joe Rock Bottoms both masked guys out of the corner and there's the hot tag to Angle. Kurt cleans house and hits the release belly to belly on Roger as everything breaks down. Everything breaks down and Doc chokeslams Angle. Various people hit various big moves on each other, including Joe hitting the suicide elbow on D-Von. There's the ankle lock to Roger but Doc gets the hammer. Garrett takes it from him and Wes spears Porkchop to the floor. Angle Slam pins Roger at 11:12.
NOTHING POST MATCH??? SERIOUSLY??? Yep, that's what kind of show we've got here.
AJ says that a win over Daniels would make up for his bad year.
We recap Daniels vs. Styles. The line of this has been going on since 2003, 2004 or 2005 sums up the entire feud: they've been feuding so long that no one knows when it started.
Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles
This is billed as the last time so there MUST be a winner. Feeling out process and they fight over arm control to the mat. The feeling out continues for like four minutes as there's NOTHING interesting going on here. AJ clotheslines him down to finally pick up the pace a bit and there's the perfect dropkick. The bridging Indian Deathlock from AJ keeps Daniels in trouble as this is going nowhere so far.
Styles hits a snap suplex on the apron so Daniels comes back with a Rock Bottom onto the opposite apron. Daniels sends him into the steps a few times, including a powerslam/suplex hybrid down onto the steel. More back work follows as I try desperately to stay awake. Not that the match is bad but this show has been so freaking boring so far that it's draining me. Daniels hits a moonsault and hooks a crossface minus the arm trap to torture AJ a bit more.
Off to a half nelson which isn't really staying on the back so the match loses points for bad psychology. AJ fights up and they collide with AJ's eye being busted open hardway. Daniels hits a release Rock Bottom but the BME misses, allowing AJ to hit the springboard forearm. AJ loads up the Clash but Daniels naturally escapes. A headscissors puts Christopher down but he comes bak with a sitout spinebuster for two.
A flipping slam out of the corner gets two for Daniels and he's getting ticked off. AJ comes back with the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two and both guys are down. They head to the corner for a Daniels superplex for no cover so AJ hits the Pele to put both guys down again. Angel's Wings is countered into a jackknife cover, but AJ backflips out of the cover into the Styles Clash for two. AJ loads up the Clash off the middle rope but Daniels counters into a rana. Now Daniels hits the Clash for the pin at 21:07.
We recap Roode vs. Hardy. Hardy is champion, Roode is challenging him. Seriously, that's it.
TNA World Title: Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Hardy
The crowd FINALLY wakes up for Hardy, possibly because he's painted like a Christmas tree. Roode immediately goes for the ribs because we haven't seen that in all of ten minutes. Hardy knocks him to the floor and hits the plancha to take Roode down as the fans stay hot. Back in and Hardy pounds on Roode in the corner as Mike reminds us that Hardy is injured from the Aces and 8's attack. Tenay: It's hard to see his facial expressions because of the face paint. This would be just as Hardy is wincing very badly. And this guy is the Professor right?
Roode gets in a shot to the midsection and hits a suplex and knee drop for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by the Hennig necksnap for two on Hardy. Back to the chinlock because the crowd must go back to being dormant like they were for two hours plus. When that does no good for Roode, he goes to the middle rope and jumps into Hardy's feet, because this show hasn't been bad enough yet so let's have the DUMBEST SPOT IN WRESTLING.
Hardy hits a quick Russian legsweep for two but a cross body misses and Hardy crashes out to the floor. A whip into the steps gets two for Bobby and it's back to the freaking chinlock. Jeff starts his real comeback with his usual stuff and gets two off the Whisper in the Wind. Roode counters a suplex into a rollup for two but Hardy hits his sitout gordbuster for two of his own. A non-bouncing top rope Vader Bomb gets two for Jeff and both guys are down.
The Twist is countered into the spinebuster for two. See, THAT is a move that makes sense for Roode after the offense he's used so far. Psychology people! There's the Twist from Hardy but Roode falls to the floor. A clothesline off the apron puts Roode down so Hardy loads up the Poetry in Motion against the barricade.
As usual it misses, but Hardy hits his hip on the barricade and he lands in the crowd. That gets two back in the ring and Roode loads up a superplex, only to get knocked off for the Swanton. Jeff can't cover though so Roode spears him down for two. Here are Aces and 8's but they just stand there. Roode walks into the Twist of Fate for the pin to retain at 23:00.
The bikers destroy Hardy post match but Roode yells at them, saying he paid them already. They beat up Roode as well, because they're CRYPTIC. Freaking screw off with this nonsense about Aces and 8's anymore. No one cares and they haven't for months now.
Results
James Storm b. Kazarian Last Call
Rob Van Dam b. Kenny King Rollup
Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Joey Ryan/Matt Morgan via DQ when Morgan pulled the referee out of the ring
Austin Aries b. Bully Ray Rollup after a low blow
Tara b. Mickie James Widow's Peak
Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Garrett Bischoff/Wes Brisco b. Aces and 8's Angle Slam to Masked Man #2
Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles Styles Clash
Jeff Hardy b. Bobby Roode Twist of Fate
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
HELL NO b. Prime Time Players Rollup to Young
AJ b. Tamina Rollup
Sheamus/John Cena b. Big Show/Dolph Ziggler AA to Ziggler
Damien Sandow b. Santino Marella Terminus
Alberto Del Rio b. Sin Cara Cross Armbreaker
Randy Orton b. Brad Maddox RKO
Antonio Cesaro b. Kofi Kingston, Wade Barrett and R-Truth Neutralizer to Kingston
NXT
Antonio Cesaro b. Michael McGillicutty Neutralizer
Bo Dallas b. Axl Keegan Spear
Corey Graves b. Yoshi Tatsu 13th Step
Roman Reigns b. Gavid Reid Spinning Belly to Back Slam
Tyson Kidd b. Leo Kruger Dungeon Lock
Impact Wrestling
D-Von b. Samoa Joe D-Von pinned Joe after Doc hit Joe with a hammer
Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Robbie E/Robbie T Frog Splash to Robbie E
Kurt Angle b. Doc via DQ when Aces and 8's interfered
Kenny King b. Zema Ion and Kid Kash Royal Flush
James Storm/AJ Styles/Jeff Hardy b. Bad Influence/Bobby Roode Twist of Fate to Kazarian
Smackdown
Big Show b. Daniel Bryan Chokeslam
3MB b. Brodus Clay/Usos Future Shock to Jimmy
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett RKO
Hornswoggle/Great Khali b. Epico/Primo Tadpole Splash to Epico
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio Cloverleaf
Final Resolution 2012
James Storm b. Kazarian Last Call
Rob Van Dam b. Kenny King Rollup
Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Joey Ryan/Matt Morgan via DQ when Morgan pulled the referee out of the ring
Austin Aries b. Bully Ray Rollup after a low blow
Tara b. Mickie James Widow's Peak
Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Garrett Bischoff/Wes Brisco b. Aces and 8's Angle Slam to Masked Man #2
Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles Styles Clash
Jeff Hardy b. Bobby Roode Twist of Fate
Impact got a .98, down slightly from last week.
Smackdown
Date: December 7, 2012
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield
We're nine days from TLC as well as fourteen days away from the end of the world if you buy into that. Anyway, the main story is that CM Punk has had knee surgery and may or may not be able to be in the TLC match against Ryback for the title. Aside from that, there's likely going to be more Sheamus vs. Big Show stuff. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap (with no voiceover thank goodness) of the end of Raw with Ryback destroying Punk and putting him through a table.
Josh tells us that Punk had surgery to fix a partially torn meniscus (wasn't that what they said Cena had?). The match in its place will be HELL NO/Ryback vs. The Shield in a TLC match....which you can win by pin or submission. Isn't that pretty much just a hardcore match? Ryback will get a shot in the future.
Here's Booker to open the show. Booker says that he's always been one to take care of his business, be it in the ring, in the back, or in a supermarket. The ring is set up for a contract signing. Booker talks about how he has to give us a good show, so here's a recap video on Big Show vs. Sheamus. Since he wants to give us a big match at the PPV, there's a no contract clause for the next nine days.
Here are Sheamus and Big Show to sign the agreement. Booker says if they break the clause, Sheamus loses his title shot and Show loses the title. They sign and Sheamus says that while waiting for the PPV is like waiting for Christmas, the title match is going to be like Christmas morning because he gets to beat on Big Show and win his title back. Show says that while Sheamus beat on him so many times, Show kept getting up.
He talks about how much experience he has and how Sheamus just wants to fight no matter what. Sheamus says he made Show relevant again and how the chairs match might be the end of his career. Show pulls a 2001 HHH and hasn't signed yet before turning the table on Sheamus. Booker calms Sheamus down and says it's Sheamus vs. Del Rio tonight. Who wants to see this match EVER again? Show gets Bryan next. This was ridiculously boring.
Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show
Bryan fires off kicks to the legs but Show easily shoves him away. That sequence works so well that they do the exact same thing again. Show keeps pounding on Bryan as Bryan tries his strikes to come back. A splash in the corner crushes Bryan but he blocks a spear by dropkicking Show's leg out. They head to the floor where Show is sent into the post but he chops Bryan down as we take a break.
Back with Show getting two off something we didn't see as Bryan is in trouble. Show starts working on the arm with his usual slow stuff. He stands on the arm which is something you don't often see. Show charges into a pair of boots in the corner and Bryan adds some dropkicks for one. Bryan goes up top for the headbutt as the Shield is seen in the crowd. The distraction lets Show chokeslam Bryan down for the pin at 6:56 shown of 10:26.
The Shield shows up at ringside and Show walks away. They circle Bryan and the beating is on. Cue Kane, walking rather slowly for a savior. He holds them off for a bit but the numbers catch up to him, resulting in Kane taking the powerbomb through the announce table.
Back from a break and it's time for Sandow to try to find his apprentice. It's the same deal as the previous times and it's still awesome. Sandow is nailing this character so well and I don't know of anybody working better right now. He gets interrupted by Miz who makes fun of Sandow's robe and trunks....and that's it. That would be a good feud for Sandow actually.
We recap the tag match from Monday where Cena and Sheamus beat their PPV opponents.
We also get Vickie and Vince's segment almost in full.
Brodus Clay/Usos vs. 3MB
Jey vs. Heath to start things off with Slater getting taken down quickly. Jimmy (thankfully with an arm sleeve tattoo now) comes in with a middle rope splash for two before it's off to McIntyre and Clay. Brodus goes nuts and runs over everyone until Slater and Mahal take him to the floor. The Usos start diving but McIntyre takes Jimmy down, followed by the Future Shock for the pin at 2:27. Short and nothing to see.
Barrett says Orton has to worry about the Bull Hammer tonight.
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett
Kofi is on commentary in a snappy vest. He says that at TLC, it's going to have to be a brawl and he's ready for just that. They feel each other out for a bit and then start punching away, with Randy taking over. This only lasts a few seconds until Orton charges into a boot in the corner. Orton goes after Barrett's knee and sends him to the floor. The chemistry isn't exactly clicking so far.
We head to the floor and Wade goes face first into the steps. Brawling is probably the right choice for these guys. Barrett sends Orton into the steps as well before heading back inside. Orton is knocked off the apron and is holding his elbow as we take a break. Back with Orton escaping a chinlock but getting put into the ropes for some choking. Barrett kicks Orton in the face to knock him to the outside again which gets two back in the ring.
Wade goes up but misses a middle rope elbow. JBL makes fun of Josh using all of the snake references about Orton and the voice is hilarious. Orton makes his comeback and hits the Elevated DDT but Barrett hooks the rope to block the RKO. Wade goes to unhook the buckle, but Kofi yells at the referee to stop Barret. The distraction lets the RKO hit for the pin at 7:17 shown of 10:47.
Epico/Primo vs. Hornswoggle/Great Khali
What do you expect here? Khali starts with Epico and pounds away on him before the cousins double team him to the floor. Off to Horny who is bullied because of his size. He Warriors Up and Khali does the work to put Epico and Primo down. Tadpole Splash pins Epico at 2:54. Oh and Natalya is here with the winning team.
The Raw ReBound sums up the end of the show and reiterates the Punk announcement.
We get a Shield promo with one of them holding a camera at themselves. They say they don't work for anyone but themselves and talk about the injustice they've gone through. They don't mention any specifics but that would be giving away too much. Ambrose says they'll bring the sword to the PPV.
Here's Cesaro in the ring and apparently he's defending the title against R-Truth at the PPV. Cesaro says that America is weak and there's no more American Dream. He says everyone used to pursue the American Dream, but now they all just look like him. Cesaro has a picture of Dusty Rhodes and we get some funky music.
Truth comes out and says he sees hard working people doing everything they can to hang on. Cesaro isn't impressed and neither am I. Again, Cesaro has already beaten Truth at least once, so why do we need to see this match again? The brawl is on but Cesaro bails. This would have been ok if the match wasn't already set, but instead it comes off like tacking on a feud, which isn't good storytelling.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus
I've had nightmares about this match before. They brawl into the corner to start with Sheamus taking over quickly. Alberto comes back with a kick to the ribs as we hear about the way too long feud they had over the summer. Sheamus comes back with a neckbreaker for two but he gets knocked to the apron. Del Rio kicks Sheamus' leg out and sends him face first into the apron. Here's Big Show to watch as we take a break.
Back with Sheamus fighting out of something, only to get kicked in the ribs to break it up. Del Rio uses Rollins' Black Out to take Sheamus down, followed by a MOONSAULT of all things. It was a decent one at that but it only gets two on Sheamus. Off to a chinlock which doesn't last long at all. Instead Del Rio goes up top and hooks the armbreaker over the ropes but has to let go due to the DQ threat.
Del Rio goes up one more time and dives into a shot to the ribs from Sheamus. Alberto misses a charge and gets caught on the apron. There are the ten forearms followed by a suplex and the Battering Ram for two. Alberto hits a Backstabber (backbreaker according to Josh) for two but the armbreaker is escaped. Brogue Kick misses and Del Rio hits the enziguri for two. An attempt at a second moosault misses and it's the Irish Curse and Cloverleaf for the submission win by Sheamus at 9:11 shown of 12:41.
Post match Show comes in to beg Sheamus to hit him. He closes his eyes while Sheamus calls for the Brogue Kick, but instead Sheamus throws Ricardo into Show's crotch to end the show.
Results
Big Show b. Daniel Bryan Chokeslam
3MB b. Brodus Clay/Usos Future Shock to Jimmy
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett RKO
Hornswoggle/Great Khali b. Epico/Primo Tadpole Splash to Epico
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio Cloverleaf
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
Kenta Kobashi has announced his retirement from wrestling, effective in February.
Final Resolution 2012
Date: December 9, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Todd Keneley
This is one of those shows that is happening because it's a Sunday in a month and therefore we need to have a PPV. The card was nearly half put together on Thursday, so how much effort do you think the company is actually putting into this show? The main event is Hardy defending against Roode, who likely has about as much of a chance as I do. The card should be decent though. Let's get to it.
Usual highlight package opens the show.
Here's James Storm who isn't scheduled on the show, because he means nothing in this company anymore. He talks about not being scheduled here tonight but he's here to make sure Roode doesn't try to steal the title like he tried to do on Thursday. Storm calls out Roode....and gets Kaz instead. Kaz says that he's been here for years and is tired of hearing a drunk like Storm whine. This goes on for awhile, gay jokes are made, and there's the challenge for the obvious match. You wouldn't think we were ten minutes into the show yet would you?
Kazarian vs. James Storm
We get a referee and it's time to go. Storm pounds away on him to start as he is known to do. Kaz comes back with a shot to the head and a head vice of all things. Storm gets thrown to the floor as Kaz pounds away even more. Back in and Kaz hits his spinning springboard legdrop for two followed by a cravate.
Storm fights back and hits a forearm for two before walking into a slingshot DDT for two. Kaz comes out of the corner and gets caught in an Alabama Slam followed by a Codebreaker. The Last Call is loaded up but Kaz hides behind the referee. Fade to Black (Kaz's piledriver) is escaped and the Last Call ends this at 6:08.
We recap Hardy's attack on Impact and see Roode and Hardy arriving earlier.
X-Division Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Kenny King
Van Dam is defending after King won a title shot on Impact in a three way. The champ puts on a headlock to start and they flip around a bit. The announcers talk about Van Dam's title history and both guys kick each other. King kicks him to the floor but Van Dam comes back in and kicks King's legs out a few times. Van Dam goes up top and gets shoved into the barricade, injuring his ribs. That's a common theme in Van Dam matches over the years. Back in and King hooks an abdominal stretch which Van Dam breaks via yet another kick.
They kick it out even more and my goodness I don't care about this match or this show. Rob gets crotched on the top rope and a backbreaker puts Van Dam down. Two knees to King's face take him down, as does a clothesline. The Monkey Flip sets up Rolling Thunder which sets up the top rope kick which sets up the Five Star....which misses. King's Royal Flush is countered into a rollup for the pin to retain at 9:20.
We're thirty minutes into the show so far and I don't remember being less interested in a PPV in years.
Daniels talks about his history with AJ, which goes on for a few minutes because these two are welded at the hip.
Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan/Joey Ryan
Chavo and Hernandez are defending. This is another of those title matches that means absolutely nothing. Morgan has Hogan's cape still, but I'm not even sure they're actually feuding anymore. They haven't talked in weeks. Anyway Chavo and Ryan start things off and it's what you would expect: Chavo wrestles, Ryan runs a lot, Chavo takes over. Hernandez comes in with a bearhug on Ryan before throwing him over in a belly to belly.
Back to Chavo to face Morgan and the champion is thrown around. Off to Hernandez for the big power showdown. Matt shoves him around a lot and the discus lariat puts Hernandez down. Back to Ryan who is immediately caught in a delayed vertical suplex for two. Hernandez beats up Joey for a bit until it's back to Chavo, who is dropped on the buckle by the illegal Morgan. Morgan is now legal and drops Chavo with a backbreaker followed by a neck crank from Ryan.
Chavo plays Ricky Morton for awhile until sending Ryan face first into the buckle. Hot tag brings in Hernandez who is suplexed down by Morgan for two. A backbreaker puts Ryan down and a missile dropkick/clothesline combination puts Morgan on the floor. Ryan gets speared down and the Frog Splash hits.....but Morgan pulls the referee out for the DQ at 10:27. Freaking LAME!
Austin Aries says he's going to stir things up around here even more and he imitates Hogan to further a feud...I guess.
We recap Aries vs. Ray which is all about Hogan, of course. Ray seems to be involved with Brooke Hogan and Hulk isn't happy. Aries pushed buttons and we get a match as a result.
Bully Ray vs. Austin Aries
Aries hides a lot to start and then slaps Ray in the face. He earns a gutwrench suplex for his efforts, followed by a big backdrop. Ray grabs him by the throat but gets caught in the face by an elbow. Austin pounds away even more, hitting a forearm to the head and a slingshot hilo to the back of Ray. Aries does more of the Hogan imitation, complete with the big boot and legdrop for two.
Ray comes back with hard chops to the chest and a splash for two. Aries charges into some Snake Eyes in the corner, but he manages to break up the backsplash. Ray punches him down AND HITS A MIDDLE ROPE DROPKICK to kill Aries dead. Naturally there's no cover and Ray charges into a low bridge to send him out to the floor. The suicide dive is countered by a big boot to the face for two for Ray. Aries comes back with a crucifix into a mat slam followed by the running dropkick in the corner.
Aries loads up the Brainbuster but Ray throws him into the air for a one man 3D. However since this is TNA, it only gets two. Ray goes for a table and gets kicked in the face for his efforts, busting him open a bit. Aries pounds away at the cut....and here's Brooke Hogan of course. She checks on the cut and is dragged into the ring, but the distraction of Aries lets Ray throw him to the floor. Now here's Hulk to glare some, but Ray tells him to get Brooke out of here. The Hogans leave and Aries hits Ray low and gets the pin off a rollup at 12:56.
We recap the Knockouts Title match by talking about Velvet Sky. You know, the chick that isn't in the title match. Mickie won some battle royal to get the shot at Tara here.
Tara and Jesse don't have much to say.
Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Tara
They fight over wrist/arm control to start as the announcers talk about Tara being in her city's athletics hall of fame. This turns into a discussion of USC football as Tara wants to kiss Jesse a bit. Mickie gets a rollup and northern lights for a pair of two counts and there's the rana to put Tara down again. Tara gets sent into Jesse but the distraction lets Tara get in a kick to the face to take over.
Back in and Tara hooks Mickie in an over the shoulder hair pull. Why she doesn't just hit the Widow's Peak from there is anyone's guess. Mickie gets a rollup for two but Jesse has the referee's attention. The spinning sidewalk slam gets two for Tara and it's off to a body vice for the champ. Mickie makes her comeback with a lot of kicks (a running theme tonight) and gets two off an enziguri. Tara is thrown onto Jesse again, so Mickie hits a Thesz Press off the top to the floor to take Tara out again. Jesse gets kicked in the face, but the distraction lets Tara hit the Widow's Peak to retain at 7:51.
Roode says he'll do whatever it takes to get the title back and that money talks. Usually solid stuff here.
We recap Aces and 8's being all evil and breaking bones with the hammer. This is another thrown together match from Impact.
Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Garrett Bischoff/Wes Brisco vs. Aces and 8's
It's D-Von/Doc/two masked dudes. One masked guy is big and the other is small so we'll call the big one Porkchop and the small one Roger for simplicity's sake. Joe wants D-Von immediately but the bikers run away. Instead it's D-Von vs. Kurt to start and guess who controls that one. D-Von gets beaten up but runs away when Joe comes in. Instead it's Joe pounding on Doc in the corner and hitting the enziguri for no cover.
Garrett comes in and is immediately pounded down like he should be. Off to Porkchop who gets to sell Garrett's horrible offense. Wes comes in and the small guys hit Poetry in Motion on Porkchop. Off to Roger who gets his arm worked over by various TNA guys. The bikers triple team Joe, pulling him to the floor and sending him into the barricade ribs first. Now D-Von will actually get in the match for some basic punches before it's back to Doc for a suplex.
We hit the chinlock for awhile until it's back to D-Von for more punches. Here's Porkchop again to stay on Joe in the corner. Joe Rock Bottoms both masked guys out of the corner and there's the hot tag to Angle. Kurt cleans house and hits the release belly to belly on Roger as everything breaks down. Everything breaks down and Doc chokeslams Angle. Various people hit various big moves on each other, including Joe hitting the suicide elbow on D-Von. There's the ankle lock to Roger but Doc gets the hammer. Garrett takes it from him and Wes spears Porkchop to the floor. Angle Slam pins Roger at 11:12.
NOTHING POST MATCH??? SERIOUSLY??? Yep, that's what kind of show we've got here.
AJ says that a win over Daniels would make up for his bad year.
We recap Daniels vs. Styles. The line of this has been going on since 2003, 2004 or 2005 sums up the entire feud: they've been feuding so long that no one knows when it started.
Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles
This is billed as the last time so there MUST be a winner. Feeling out process and they fight over arm control to the mat. The feeling out continues for like four minutes as there's NOTHING interesting going on here. AJ clotheslines him down to finally pick up the pace a bit and there's the perfect dropkick. The bridging Indian Deathlock from AJ keeps Daniels in trouble as this is going nowhere so far.
Styles hits a snap suplex on the apron so Daniels comes back with a Rock Bottom onto the opposite apron. Daniels sends him into the steps a few times, including a powerslam/suplex hybrid down onto the steel. More back work follows as I try desperately to stay awake. Not that the match is bad but this show has been so freaking boring so far that it's draining me. Daniels hits a moonsault and hooks a crossface minus the arm trap to torture AJ a bit more.
Off to a half nelson which isn't really staying on the back so the match loses points for bad psychology. AJ fights up and they collide with AJ's eye being busted open hardway. Daniels hits a release Rock Bottom but the BME misses, allowing AJ to hit the springboard forearm. AJ loads up the Clash but Daniels naturally escapes. A headscissors puts Christopher down but he comes bak with a sitout spinebuster for two.
A flipping slam out of the corner gets two for Daniels and he's getting ticked off. AJ comes back with the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two and both guys are down. They head to the corner for a Daniels superplex for no cover so AJ hits the Pele to put both guys down again. Angel's Wings is countered into a jackknife cover, but AJ backflips out of the cover into the Styles Clash for two. AJ loads up the Clash off the middle rope but Daniels counters into a rana. Now Daniels hits the Clash for the pin at 21:07.
We recap Roode vs. Hardy. Hardy is champion, Roode is challenging him. Seriously, that's it.
TNA World Title: Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Hardy
The crowd FINALLY wakes up for Hardy, possibly because he's painted like a Christmas tree. Roode immediately goes for the ribs because we haven't seen that in all of ten minutes. Hardy knocks him to the floor and hits the plancha to take Roode down as the fans stay hot. Back in and Hardy pounds on Roode in the corner as Mike reminds us that Hardy is injured from the Aces and 8's attack. Tenay: It's hard to see his facial expressions because of the face paint. This would be just as Hardy is wincing very badly. And this guy is the Professor right?
Roode gets in a shot to the midsection and hits a suplex and knee drop for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by the Hennig necksnap for two on Hardy. Back to the chinlock because the crowd must go back to being dormant like they were for two hours plus. When that does no good for Roode, he goes to the middle rope and jumps into Hardy's feet, because this show hasn't been bad enough yet so let's have the DUMBEST SPOT IN WRESTLING.
Hardy hits a quick Russian legsweep for two but a cross body misses and Hardy crashes out to the floor. A whip into the steps gets two for Bobby and it's back to the freaking chinlock. Jeff starts his real comeback with his usual stuff and gets two off the Whisper in the Wind. Roode counters a suplex into a rollup for two but Hardy hits his sitout gordbuster for two of his own. A non-bouncing top rope Vader Bomb gets two for Jeff and both guys are down.
The Twist is countered into the spinebuster for two. See, THAT is a move that makes sense for Roode after the offense he's used so far. Psychology people! There's the Twist from Hardy but Roode falls to the floor. A clothesline off the apron puts Roode down so Hardy loads up the Poetry in Motion against the barricade.
As usual it misses, but Hardy hits his hip on the barricade and he lands in the crowd. That gets two back in the ring and Roode loads up a superplex, only to get knocked off for the Swanton. Jeff can't cover though so Roode spears him down for two. Here are Aces and 8's but they just stand there. Roode walks into the Twist of Fate for the pin to retain at 23:00.
The bikers destroy Hardy post match but Roode yells at them, saying he paid them already. They beat up Roode as well, because they're CRYPTIC. Freaking screw off with this nonsense about Aces and 8's anymore. No one cares and they haven't for months now.
Results
James Storm b. Kazarian Last Call
Rob Van Dam b. Kenny King Rollup
Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Joey Ryan/Matt Morgan via DQ when Morgan pulled the referee out of the ring
Austin Aries b. Bully Ray Rollup after a low blow
Tara b. Mickie James Widow's Peak
Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Garrett Bischoff/Wes Brisco b. Aces and 8's Angle Slam to Masked Man #2
Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles Styles Clash
Jeff Hardy b. Bobby Roode Twist of Fate
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
HELL NO b. Prime Time Players Rollup to Young
AJ b. Tamina Rollup
Sheamus/John Cena b. Big Show/Dolph Ziggler AA to Ziggler
Damien Sandow b. Santino Marella Terminus
Alberto Del Rio b. Sin Cara Cross Armbreaker
Randy Orton b. Brad Maddox RKO
Antonio Cesaro b. Kofi Kingston, Wade Barrett and R-Truth Neutralizer to Kingston
NXT
Antonio Cesaro b. Michael McGillicutty Neutralizer
Bo Dallas b. Axl Keegan Spear
Corey Graves b. Yoshi Tatsu 13th Step
Roman Reigns b. Gavid Reid Spinning Belly to Back Slam
Tyson Kidd b. Leo Kruger Dungeon Lock
Impact Wrestling
D-Von b. Samoa Joe D-Von pinned Joe after Doc hit Joe with a hammer
Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Robbie E/Robbie T Frog Splash to Robbie E
Kurt Angle b. Doc via DQ when Aces and 8's interfered
Kenny King b. Zema Ion and Kid Kash Royal Flush
James Storm/AJ Styles/Jeff Hardy b. Bad Influence/Bobby Roode Twist of Fate to Kazarian
Smackdown
Big Show b. Daniel Bryan Chokeslam
3MB b. Brodus Clay/Usos Future Shock to Jimmy
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett RKO
Hornswoggle/Great Khali b. Epico/Primo Tadpole Splash to Epico
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio Cloverleaf
Final Resolution 2012
James Storm b. Kazarian Last Call
Rob Van Dam b. Kenny King Rollup
Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez b. Joey Ryan/Matt Morgan via DQ when Morgan pulled the referee out of the ring
Austin Aries b. Bully Ray Rollup after a low blow
Tara b. Mickie James Widow's Peak
Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Garrett Bischoff/Wes Brisco b. Aces and 8's Angle Slam to Masked Man #2
Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles Styles Clash
Jeff Hardy b. Bobby Roode Twist of Fate